1 00:00:01,553 --> 00:00:04,423 [rock music] 2 00:00:04,423 --> 00:00:07,626 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:07,626 --> 00:00:10,395 [gentle music] 4 00:00:10,395 --> 00:00:13,097 Are you there, God? It's me, Beavis. 5 00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:14,733 [chuckles] 6 00:00:14,733 --> 00:00:16,801 I know you're busy, like, killing terminators 7 00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:19,771 and kicking Jesus' ass and stuff, 8 00:00:19,771 --> 00:00:22,507 but I've been noticing some changes happening to my body, 9 00:00:22,507 --> 00:00:24,609 and I don't know what to do. 10 00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:27,846 It all started a few days ago at school. 11 00:00:27,846 --> 00:00:29,348 Mm-kay, class, 12 00:00:29,348 --> 00:00:33,117 today we're talking about the wonders of puberty. 13 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,987 [slide clicks] Puberty is a funny word 14 00:00:35,987 --> 00:00:40,659 for when your body gets serious about growing and developing. 15 00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:42,627 [skunk growling] - Whoa. [chuckles] 16 00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,763 Check it out. 17 00:00:44,763 --> 00:00:47,432 That cat's got whipped cream on its mouth. 18 00:00:47,432 --> 00:00:49,468 You should, like, get us some, Beavis. 19 00:00:49,468 --> 00:00:50,735 Yeah, yeah. 20 00:00:50,735 --> 00:00:52,837 Yeah, whipped cream kicks ass. 21 00:00:52,837 --> 00:00:55,073 Here, kitty. Nice kitty. 22 00:00:55,073 --> 00:00:56,107 Hey, it likes me. 23 00:00:56,107 --> 00:00:57,609 [screams] [skunk growling] 24 00:00:57,609 --> 00:00:59,177 [chuckles] 25 00:00:59,177 --> 00:01:03,247 So it's important not to compare yourself to others. 26 00:01:03,382 --> 00:01:06,718 In fact, I myself did not go through puberty 27 00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:09,220 until I was-- [thud] 28 00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:12,491 - That cat kicked your ass. - [groaning] Ow! 29 00:01:12,491 --> 00:01:14,158 [chuckles] 30 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:18,029 That's when I first noticed my body was changing. 31 00:01:18,029 --> 00:01:20,865 Mostly bleeding and stuff. [chuckles] 32 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:22,867 [hip-hop music] 33 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:27,539 * I love the way ♪ 34 00:01:28,473 --> 00:01:31,576 Boy, their mechanic uniforms are clean. 35 00:01:31,576 --> 00:01:32,911 Yeah, they're usually all covered 36 00:01:32,911 --> 00:01:34,913 with, like, grease and oil and stuff. 37 00:01:34,913 --> 00:01:37,882 It's probably just because they're not fixing any cars, 38 00:01:37,882 --> 00:01:41,285 they're just, like, doing it with girls. 39 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:43,422 Here at TT Auto, 40 00:01:43,422 --> 00:01:44,889 we won't fix your car, 41 00:01:44,889 --> 00:01:47,959 but we will have sex with your women. [chuckles] 42 00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:50,995 That's the TT guarantee. Yeah. 43 00:01:50,995 --> 00:01:52,764 [both chuckling] 44 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,699 If we don't score with your women, 45 00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:57,235 your repair is free. [chuckles] 46 00:01:57,235 --> 00:01:58,970 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 47 00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:00,805 Our satisfaction is guaranteed. 48 00:02:00,805 --> 00:02:02,641 [chuckles] 49 00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:06,310 Uh, ma'am, the problem with your motorcycle here 50 00:02:06,445 --> 00:02:08,146 is there's not enough butt on it. 51 00:02:08,146 --> 00:02:09,881 Yeah, it seems to be making a funny noise, like, 52 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:13,818 Uh, uh, ooh, ah. [chuckles] 53 00:02:13,818 --> 00:02:16,521 Oh, wait. No, that's just me. 54 00:02:16,521 --> 00:02:17,789 Now, where was I? 55 00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:22,193 Uh, uh, ooh, ah. [chuckles] 56 00:02:22,193 --> 00:02:24,362 He's like, "Uh, listen, ma'am, 57 00:02:24,463 --> 00:02:27,031 "we're not gonna get that part in for two weeks, 58 00:02:27,031 --> 00:02:30,469 so maybe, uh, I could get my part in." 59 00:02:30,469 --> 00:02:34,673 [both chuckling] 60 00:02:34,673 --> 00:02:36,240 That's really good, Butt-Head. 61 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,142 Yeah, you know, you're pretty smooth, you know. 62 00:02:38,142 --> 00:02:41,379 It's, um--yeah, it's weird that you never score. 63 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,047 [chuckles] 64 00:02:43,047 --> 00:02:45,550 ♪ ♪ 65 00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:48,920 I wanna get a job at a place like this, you know. 66 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,855 If you got a job there, 67 00:02:50,855 --> 00:02:53,157 you'd probably accidentally repair the girl 68 00:02:53,157 --> 00:02:57,128 and score with the car. [chuckles] 69 00:02:57,128 --> 00:02:59,163 Yeah, you know, actually, um-- 70 00:02:59,163 --> 00:03:01,600 I actually did kinda score with a car once. 71 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,101 [chuckles] 72 00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:04,703 Uhh-- 73 00:03:04,703 --> 00:03:07,506 What? [chuckles] 74 00:03:07,506 --> 00:03:09,140 I didn't go all the way, you know, 75 00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:11,876 but I did get under the hood. 76 00:03:11,876 --> 00:03:12,811 You know what I'm sayin'? 77 00:03:12,811 --> 00:03:15,514 [chuckles] 78 00:03:15,514 --> 00:03:16,881 Uhh-- 79 00:03:16,881 --> 00:03:19,117 I mean, the car wasn't running. 80 00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:21,285 I'm not, like, a pervert or something, you know. 81 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,787 [chuckles] 82 00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:25,524 It was, like, consensual, you know. [chuckles] 83 00:03:25,524 --> 00:03:27,992 It was a '92 Ford Festiva. 84 00:03:27,992 --> 00:03:29,661 Uhh, Beavis, 85 00:03:29,661 --> 00:03:32,764 I don't wanna ever hear about any of this ever again. 86 00:03:32,764 --> 00:03:34,566 [chuckles] 87 00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:36,535 Okay, okay. 88 00:03:36,535 --> 00:03:40,539 But it was a Festiva. [chuckles] 89 00:03:41,673 --> 00:03:42,907 [gentle music] 90 00:03:42,907 --> 00:03:46,545 So, um, God, am I normal? 91 00:03:46,545 --> 00:03:48,012 Today in gym class, 92 00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:51,015 I noticed that my body doesn't look like the other boys'. 93 00:03:51,015 --> 00:03:52,551 I feel like everyone's looking at me 94 00:03:52,551 --> 00:03:55,353 because my body is, like, different and stuff. 95 00:03:55,353 --> 00:03:57,155 You know what that feels like? 96 00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:58,690 Ahh! Ah! 97 00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:01,125 It feels like my head hurts and my skin is hot. 98 00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:02,894 Also, water grosses me out, 99 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,295 and I wanna bite people. 100 00:04:04,295 --> 00:04:05,797 Ahh! 101 00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:08,466 Uhh, Beavis, 102 00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:09,834 what are you doing? 103 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:11,369 Shut up, Butt-Head! 104 00:04:11,369 --> 00:04:12,704 I'm normal! 105 00:04:12,704 --> 00:04:15,339 Normal! Yeah. 106 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,742 Whoa. Son, you don't look so good. 107 00:04:17,742 --> 00:04:20,311 No! I'm normal! 108 00:04:20,311 --> 00:04:22,046 Butt-Head, how about you take Beavis 109 00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:24,415 to the school nurse? - Uhh-- 110 00:04:24,415 --> 00:04:25,750 No. [chuckles] 111 00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,852 Everyone leave me alone! 112 00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,087 Stop looking at me! 113 00:04:29,087 --> 00:04:31,856 Ah! Ah! Ahh! 114 00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:34,593 [grunting, chuckling] 115 00:04:34,593 --> 00:04:35,827 Ahh! Ah! 116 00:04:36,595 --> 00:04:39,430 [chuckles] That was cool. 117 00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:44,603 I don't know what's happening to me, God. 118 00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:47,238 I just wanna be like everyone else, you know? 119 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:51,042 I look in the mirror, and my body looks so different. 120 00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:53,311 I'm still Beavis on the inside, 121 00:04:53,311 --> 00:04:55,513 but who's that person on the outside? 122 00:04:55,614 --> 00:04:58,182 [grunting] And why are his eyes yellow? 123 00:04:58,182 --> 00:05:00,051 And what's that white stuff on his mouth? 124 00:05:00,051 --> 00:05:01,152 Ahh! 125 00:05:01,152 --> 00:05:03,087 Nobody understands me, God. 126 00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:04,623 Not even Butt-Head. 127 00:05:04,623 --> 00:05:06,658 [grunting] - We're getting reports 128 00:05:06,658 --> 00:05:10,028 of a rabies outbreak in the local skunk population. 129 00:05:10,028 --> 00:05:11,630 - Ahh! - Damn it, Beavis, 130 00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:14,799 you're getting your gross drool on my side of the couch now. 131 00:05:14,799 --> 00:05:17,969 Ahh! Ahh! 132 00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,738 Shut up, dumbass. Uh! 133 00:05:19,738 --> 00:05:21,405 Ah! Ah! Ahh! 134 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:22,473 Uhh! 135 00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:24,776 - [growling] - Uhh! Uhh! 136 00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:28,813 Uhh! - [growling] 137 00:05:28,813 --> 00:05:31,149 Beavis, I'm just gonna go ahead 138 00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:32,851 and kick your ass some other time. 139 00:05:32,851 --> 00:05:34,886 - [screams] - Ahh! 140 00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:36,721 [gentle music] 141 00:05:36,721 --> 00:05:39,658 Yeah, you could say I've been going through changes. 142 00:05:39,658 --> 00:05:41,693 I guess this is all part of growing up, 143 00:05:41,693 --> 00:05:43,294 right, God? 144 00:05:44,663 --> 00:05:46,898 So, yeah, God, 145 00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:48,100 that's what's going on with me. 146 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,702 Also, I can't see very good, 147 00:05:50,702 --> 00:05:52,470 and my pee is red. 148 00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:53,972 So, um-- 149 00:05:53,972 --> 00:05:56,107 What did I wanna ask you again? Um-- 150 00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:58,309 It was, um, uh-- oh, yeah, yeah, um, 151 00:05:58,309 --> 00:06:00,544 can you, like, make my nads bigger? 152 00:06:00,679 --> 00:06:03,247 Yeah. That would be cool. [chuckles] 153 00:06:03,247 --> 00:06:06,117 Beavis, I am not God. 154 00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:09,287 I am a fever-induced hallucination. 155 00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,355 You have rabies. 156 00:06:11,355 --> 00:06:13,257 Uh-huh. Huh. 157 00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:14,959 Now, that's cool and everything, God, 158 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,195 but my nads-- yeah, can you make 'em bigger? 159 00:06:17,195 --> 00:06:19,798 Beavis, your nads are perfect 160 00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:21,866 just the way they are. 161 00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:24,202 And I am not God. 162 00:06:24,202 --> 00:06:25,704 Whoa, really? 163 00:06:25,704 --> 00:06:26,838 Wow, wow. 164 00:06:26,838 --> 00:06:28,472 Thanks, God. 165 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,141 I guess you're right. 166 00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:31,575 My body is pretty cool, you know, 167 00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:33,611 just the way it is. [chuckles] 168 00:06:33,712 --> 00:06:35,313 I don't know what I was so worried about, you know. 169 00:06:35,313 --> 00:06:36,715 [chuckles] 170 00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:39,250 Yeah, so it turns out 171 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,920 my body is perfect just the way it is. 172 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,455 From now on, I'm gonna stop worrying 173 00:06:44,455 --> 00:06:46,290 and just be myself. 174 00:06:48,026 --> 00:06:49,327 Ah! Ahh! 175 00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:51,195 - What the hell? - Ahh! 176 00:06:51,195 --> 00:06:53,097 - Marcie, get the gun! - Ahh! Ahh! 177 00:06:53,097 --> 00:06:56,100 [rock music] 178 00:06:56,100 --> 00:07:03,274 ♪ ♪ 179 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,624 [chiming noises] 180 00:07:20,624 --> 00:07:21,726 Chirp.