1
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<i>♪ MTV ♪</i>

2
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:19,106
<i>♪ ♪</i>

3
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I'm gonna head to the barber
to get my ears lowered,

4
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:31,422
so I need you boys to sign
for a couple two packages

5
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I got comin' from the Amazon.

6
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Package.

7
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They're a birthday present
for Marcie

8
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:42,607
and my new hearing aid.

9
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,870
That one's real important now

10
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,656
because I can't hear nothing
without it.

11
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Uh, did you hear me
when I called you a butthole?

12
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,575
Well, you're welcome.

13
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:56,665
I knew I could count on you.

14
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What are we supposed to do
with these things again?

15
00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,292
Uh...

16
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maybe we'll remember
if we open 'em.

17
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,305
It's, like, some kind of earbud
that sucks.

18
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Let's throw them
in the garbage.

19
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It's the least we can do.

20
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Just gonna open this here.

21
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Whoa.
Look, Beavis.

22
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Yeah, yeah.
It's amazing.

23
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Let's break it.

24
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Yeah, break it.

25
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There'll be glass everywhere.

26
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,499
- Beavis, wait.
- Huh?

27
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,719
Yes, we could smash
this crystal thingy

28
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:51,981
in the street,

29
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,722
and yes, it would be cool,

30
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but we can do better than that,
and we must.

31
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Let's throw it off the roof.

32
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Yeah. Yeah.

33
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,652
<i>Jesus Christ</i> <i>
of the Lord God on high,</i>

34
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,306
<i>thank you for making me</i> <i>
Post Malone.</i>

35
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:17,354
Thank you for making me rich
and have lots of chicks too.

36
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,095
<i>[chuckling]</i> <i>
Amen.</i>

37
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<i>♪ ♪</i>

38
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<i>Whoa, oh, he doesn't have</i> <i>
any armor on his schlong.</i>

39
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<i>It's just wide open,</i> <i>
and his testes too.</i>

40
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<i>Boy, he just doesn't care</i> <i>
about his wiener.</i>

41
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Yeah, yeah,
an evil rises in Mordor,

42
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:44,207
but Post Malone shall not wear
any armor on his schlong!

43
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♪ Even when I tried ♪

44
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<i>♪ ♪</i>

45
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<i>♪ You don't believe it ♪</i>

46
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<i>Oh, check it out, Butt-Head,</i> <i>
she doesn't have a mouth.</i>

47
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<i>[chuckles]</i> <i>
Yeah.</i>

48
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<i>He finally found a chick</i>

49
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<i>who can't tell him</i> <i>
his music sucks.</i>

50
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:02,921
Shut up, Butt-Head.
I kind of like it.

51
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:05,750
<i>He's just kind of lazy.</i> <i></i>

52
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♪ I don't believe it ♪

53
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,844
<i>♪ ♪</i>

54
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,455
<i>- Yeah, he looks lazy.</i> <i>
- Yeah, that's cool.</i>

55
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,980
<i>♪ So I don't</i> <i>
take the blame ♪</i>

56
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<i>Is he chewing tobacco?</i> <i></i>

57
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<i>No, he's got, like,</i> <i>
a bunch of tattoos</i>

58
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<i>on the inside of his mouth,</i>

59
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<i>and they make his cheeks</i> <i>
all puffy.</i>

60
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<i>[chuckles]</i> <i>
- Yeah, he looks cool.</i>

61
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:31,385
<i>[chuckles]</i> <i>
- Whoa.</i>

62
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:35,693
<i>She grew her on noose</i> <i>
so she could kill herself</i>

63
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'cause he sucks.
- Shut up, Butt-Head.

64
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,045
This kicks ass.

65
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<i>[chuckles]</i> <i>
- Well, the noose didn't work.</i>

66
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,614
<i>I guess</i> <i>
I'd better drown myself.</i>

67
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<i>Shut up, Butt-Head.</i>

68
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<i>She just needs to go wash</i> <i>
her hair for Post Malone,</i>

69
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,795
<i>you know, 'cause people</i> <i>
keep stepping on it.</i>

70
00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:52,319
<i>♪ ♪</i>

71
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Come on, butthole.
Hurry up.

72
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,589
I don't know, Butt-Head.

73
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,026
I'm kind of afraid of heights.

74
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,158
Quit being such a wuss, Beavis.

75
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,030
Come on.

76
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,206
Okay.

77
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,645
Don't look down.

78
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:17,387
Whoa.
Whoa, that's a long ways.

79
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:20,085
Hurry the hell up, buttwipe.

80
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:27,789
Oh, boy.

81
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,748
Uh, where's the bowl?

82
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:33,664
Um, it was, like, too hard
to climb

83
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,405
and bring it up here
at the same time,

84
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,799
so I decided to climb first

85
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,279
and then bring it up here.

86
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,976
You know what I'm saying?
- Damn it, Beavis.

87
00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:43,326
The bowl was the whole reason
I came up here.

88
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,763
Now get down there and get it.

89
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,287
I don't know, Butt-Head.

90
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:48,070
It's kind of scary to try--

91
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:49,985
Aah!

92
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,644
Uh, hmm.

93
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,865
How are we gonna get down,
Butt-Head?

94
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,391
Get down.

95
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,609
Oh, boy.

96
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,963
Uh, someone's gotta put
the ladder back up,

97
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:15,750
so, Beavis, you're gonna have
to jump off the roof.

98
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:20,145
I don't know, Butt-Head.

99
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,017
We're kind of really far
off the ground.

100
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:24,846
Uh, I don't care.

101
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,500
Maybe you could jump.

102
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:30,634
Okay, I've got an idea, Beavis.

103
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,723
If you take,
like, a running start,

104
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,204
you can jump into that tree
and climb down.

105
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,119
That looks
kind of far though.

106
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,034
You can do it, Beavis.

107
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,079
I believe in you.

108
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,343
So hurry up, nutsack.

109
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:52,090
Uh, well, I'm--oh, boy.

110
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,223
I guess I could give it a try.

111
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,399
I don't know, Butt-Head.

112
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:59,446
Run as fast as you can, Beavis.

113
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,404
Okay, here goes.

114
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:04,276
Don't look down.

115
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,409
Aah!

116
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,019
Butt-Head, help!

117
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,979
Uh, help you jump down?

118
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,285
No.

119
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,245
No, no!

120
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,465
Aah!
I don't wanna fall!

121
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:19,553
Ow! That hurt.
- Grow up, Beavis.

122
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,728
Aah! No!

123
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,034
Everything isn't
always about you.

124
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:25,907
Aah!

125
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,778
Ow.

126
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,171
It's okay.
It's okay.

127
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,042
I'm all right.

128
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,044
I don't wanna be late
for kindergarten.

129
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:34,872
Circle time sucks.

130
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,135
Whoa.

131
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,311
Whoa, that's a cool bowl.

132
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,052
Never seen anything
like that before.

133
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:43,315
Wow.
I'll be damned.

134
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,795
Get the ladder, Beavis.

135
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:47,711
Oh, hey.
Who are you?

136
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:50,279
I'm Butt-Head, assface.

137
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:53,369
Um, which one of those
is your name

138
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:56,285
and which one
is what you're calling me?

139
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,593
Just get the ladder, dumbass.

140
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,333
What's a ladder?

141
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,988
It's that thing over there
that's a ladder.

142
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,381
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

143
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,514
Thanks, assface.

144
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,820
Yeah, here it is. Yeah.

145
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,301
Now put it against the house
so I can climb down.

146
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:15,478
Okay.
Okay, here we go, yeah.

147
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,964
Finally, butthole.

148
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,531
Oh, hey, assface.

149
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:25,793
How's it going?

150
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,535
You dumbass.
What are you doing up here?

151
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,667
I climbed up this thing.

152
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,409
It's called a ladder.

153
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:36,586
Wait a second.
It was just there.

154
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:40,503
Uh...

155
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,334
Dangnabbit.

156
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,423
My packages didn't come.

157
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:50,426
Now I don't have
my GD hearing aid.

158
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,777
I can't hear a goddamn thing.

159
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:56,737
Uh, help?

160
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,653
Yeah, old guy!
Help us, yeah.

161
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,872
- Hey.
- It looks like I forgot to...

162
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,918
- Old guy!
- Put this ladder in the shed.

163
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,920
- Old man.
- That's a whoopsie-daisy.

164
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,489
Uh, hey, old guy!
Get us down from here!

165
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,099
- Help.
- There we go.

166
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,187
Look up, dumbass.

167
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:14,232
Like, help!

168
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,799
Help or something!
- Oh.

169
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,715
Marie's birthday present
came at least.

170
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:21,109
Nice of them
to deliver it back here

171
00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,414
where the thieves won't get it.

172
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,721
both: Hey.
- Hey, hey.

173
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:27,419
Old guy.

174
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,945
Uh, old guy?

175
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:37,255
Are we gonna be up here
forever, Butt-Head?

176
00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:40,650
Uh, I don't know.

177
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,652
Yeah, it's pretty cool, yeah.

178
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,570
The moon sucks.

179
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,401
It sure does, yeah.