1
00:00:02,405 --> 00:00:04,102
[both chuckling]
2
00:00:04,189 --> 00:00:07,323
[bluesy rock music]
3
00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:14,025
♪ ♪
4
00:00:17,899 --> 00:00:20,815
[eerie music]
5
00:00:20,902 --> 00:00:24,209
♪ ♪
6
00:00:24,296 --> 00:00:28,866
- Behold, I am Smart Butt-Head.
- And I am Smart Beavis.
7
00:00:28,953 --> 00:00:31,216
Greetings, oh,
primitive humans.
8
00:00:31,303 --> 00:00:33,088
We hail from an alternate
universe where we,
9
00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,481
Beavis and Butt-Head,
are super intelligent.
10
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,266
There are
billions and billions
11
00:00:37,353 --> 00:00:39,703
of alternate universes,
oh, foolish ones.
12
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,837
But the one most fascinating
to our vast intellects
13
00:00:42,924 --> 00:00:44,752
is the one where Beavis and
Butt-Head were teenagers
14
00:00:44,839 --> 00:00:47,537
in the 1990s,
but then grew older.
15
00:00:47,624 --> 00:00:51,236
And they're now middle-aged
at the height of their powers.
16
00:00:51,323 --> 00:00:54,109
Join us, dull-witted
earthlings, as we look upon
17
00:00:54,196 --> 00:00:57,808
that universe and sample its
delights spread out before us,
18
00:00:57,895 --> 00:00:59,810
like a banquet of space nachos.
19
00:00:59,897 --> 00:01:02,073
Priceless wit
of a satirical bent.
20
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,771
Whimsical, yes, yes,
quite absurd.
21
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Whimsical, yes, indeed, yes.
22
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♪ ♪
23
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[both chuckling]
24
00:01:14,259 --> 00:01:19,134
- [coughs]
- [coughs]
25
00:01:19,221 --> 00:01:23,355
Butt-Head,
we're out of beers, Butt-Head.
26
00:01:23,442 --> 00:01:27,142
Eh, well, go get some more, dumbass.
27
00:01:27,229 --> 00:01:29,057
I'm out of money.
28
00:01:29,144 --> 00:01:31,973
So go give some more blood.
29
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I went twice
already this morning.
30
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They won't take my blood
anymore, because they said
31
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it's too watery,
then I passed out,
32
00:01:38,936 --> 00:01:41,199
and some guy stole my cookie.
33
00:01:41,286 --> 00:01:44,246
I guess we need to,
like, get jobs or something.
34
00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:46,814
Being unemployed is our job, dumbass.
35
00:01:46,901 --> 00:01:49,686
[chuckles]
They send us money.
36
00:01:49,773 --> 00:01:51,514
Ran out of that too.
37
00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:53,777
Should I go down
to that unemployment store
38
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,257
and get some more or something?
39
00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:58,652
Yeah, and hurry up,
you worthless dumbass.
40
00:01:58,739 --> 00:02:03,047
[grunts]
Oh, boy.
41
00:02:03,134 --> 00:02:05,963
Job.
[chuckles]
42
00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:08,531
♪ Ooh, too lit ♪
43
00:02:08,618 --> 00:02:10,446
♪ Forgot who I was talking to,
shit ♪
44
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[both chuckling]
45
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♪ Love ain't
how they advertise it ♪
46
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Oh, hey,
47
00:02:17,453 --> 00:02:19,455
that looks like that time
you had that heart attack,
48
00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:24,721
and then they, like, brought
you back with that infibulator.
49
00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:27,550
[both chuckling]
50
00:02:27,637 --> 00:02:29,987
Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
51
00:02:30,074 --> 00:02:32,076
That thing hurt.
[chuckles]
52
00:02:32,163 --> 00:02:34,165
They said you were dead
for a while too.
53
00:02:34,252 --> 00:02:38,169
Uh, that's right, I was.
[chuckles]
54
00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:41,999
When I closed my eyes,
I thought I saw God,
55
00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:45,960
and he said,
"I love you, Butt-Head.
56
00:02:46,047 --> 00:02:49,311
Keep doing what you're doing,
and don't ever come back."
57
00:02:49,398 --> 00:02:52,183
[chuckles]
58
00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:53,794
And then I woke up.
[chuckles]
59
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:57,711
And then d'you, like, change
your life or something?
60
00:02:57,798 --> 00:02:59,582
No.
[chuckles]
61
00:02:59,669 --> 00:03:03,194
I was completely unchanged.
[chuckles]
62
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:06,981
And then they sent me a bill
for $124,000,
63
00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:12,116
and I never paid it.
[both chuckling]
64
00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:16,294
I get a notice every couple
months, and I just ignore it.
65
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[chuckles]
66
00:03:19,558 --> 00:03:21,430
In a just world,
they would've killed you.
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[chuckles]
68
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,912
Yeah.
[chuckles]
69
00:03:24,999 --> 00:03:30,744
It's not fair.
[chuckles]
70
00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:33,529
That liquor store, like,
makes me wanna drink a beer.
71
00:03:33,616 --> 00:03:34,878
[chuckles]
72
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:38,447
Uh, you are drinking a beer.
[chuckles]
73
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:40,275
Oh, yeah, yeah,
but I mean, like,
74
00:03:40,362 --> 00:03:42,886
another one after this.
[chuckles]
75
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,367
Uh, is there anything that
76
00:03:45,454 --> 00:03:46,977
doesn't make you wanna
drink a beer?
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00:03:47,064 --> 00:03:50,198
[chuckles]
- Well, let me think.
78
00:03:50,285 --> 00:03:51,634
No.
79
00:03:51,721 --> 00:03:54,419
Oh, um--no, no.
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00:03:54,506 --> 00:03:58,684
I guess not.
[chuckles]
81
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,643
[sighs and chuckles]
82
00:04:00,730 --> 00:04:02,819
I think I'm, like,
an alcoholic,
83
00:04:02,906 --> 00:04:04,647
but with beer, you know?
84
00:04:04,734 --> 00:04:08,216
[both chuckling]
85
00:04:08,303 --> 00:04:09,783
Oh, look at that pawn shop.
86
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,610
I think this is our
neighborhood.
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[chuckles]
88
00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:16,180
Eh, oh, yeah.
It is.
89
00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:18,835
[chuckles]
Remember that time you pawned
90
00:04:18,922 --> 00:04:22,056
everything you owned,
and you only got $30?
91
00:04:22,143 --> 00:04:25,233
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
92
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,105
Yeah, that was a great day, yeah.
93
00:04:28,192 --> 00:04:30,194
I spent it all
on some St. Ides.
94
00:04:30,281 --> 00:04:31,848
[chuckles]
95
00:04:31,935 --> 00:04:35,286
That crooked eye, yeah.
[chuckles]
96
00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:42,467
I would like more unemployment, please.
97
00:04:42,554 --> 00:04:45,383
Well, our records show
you maxed out your benefits.
98
00:04:45,470 --> 00:04:46,907
Cool.
[chuckles]
99
00:04:46,994 --> 00:04:49,083
But let's see
if we can find you a job.
100
00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:50,824
What? What?
No, no.
101
00:04:50,911 --> 00:04:53,827
No, I came down here for money.
Yeah, yeah.
102
00:04:53,914 --> 00:04:56,481
Let's see
what you're qualified for.
103
00:04:56,568 --> 00:04:58,614
Last job?
104
00:04:58,701 --> 00:05:00,181
I was fired
from Burger World.
105
00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:02,313
And when was that?
106
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,621
It was, like, two weeks ago.
107
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:08,537
- It says here 23 years ago.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
108
00:05:08,624 --> 00:05:10,408
Yeah, that sounds right.
109
00:05:10,495 --> 00:05:13,977
Also, I donate blood and sperm.
110
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,327
And you donate
the sperm where?
111
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:19,809
Um, just kind of everywhere,
you know?
112
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:22,203
Okay, you're gonna need
something completely unskilled.
113
00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:23,595
Yeah, that sounds cool.
114
00:05:23,682 --> 00:05:25,641
I have an opening
for a home aide.
115
00:05:25,728 --> 00:05:28,252
It's a government program
where you help people
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who can't take care
of themselves
117
00:05:29,732 --> 00:05:31,647
just with ordinary,
household tasks.
118
00:05:31,734 --> 00:05:33,301
You know how to do that, right?
119
00:05:33,388 --> 00:05:35,216
Um, I've been in a house, yeah.
120
00:05:35,303 --> 00:05:37,392
Here's the client's address.
121
00:05:37,479 --> 00:05:39,437
They pay's not much,
but I think you'll find
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00:05:39,524 --> 00:05:41,396
helping someone even less
fortunate than yourself
123
00:05:41,483 --> 00:05:43,528
will help give you self-esteem.
124
00:05:43,615 --> 00:05:45,052
Self-steam?
125
00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:47,010
It'll make you
feel good about yourself.
126
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:51,101
Wow. Self-steam.
Hmm.
127
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[chuckling]
Dicks.
128
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[humming]
129
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:04,375
Okay, time to get
your self-steam.
130
00:06:04,462 --> 00:06:06,290
[chuckles]
131
00:06:06,377 --> 00:06:10,164
Time to meet the dillhole
who can't take care of himself.
132
00:06:10,251 --> 00:06:13,080
I wonder what he looks like.
[chuckles]
133
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:14,951
Here we go.
[chuckles]
134
00:06:17,214 --> 00:06:20,478
Uh, what are you knocking
for, dumbass?
135
00:06:20,565 --> 00:06:23,046
I thought you were the butthole
the government sent.
136
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,135
What butthole?
[chuckles]
137
00:06:25,222 --> 00:06:27,703
The social worker called
and asked if I needed help
138
00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:29,661
'cause
the neighbors complained.
139
00:06:29,748 --> 00:06:31,663
Whoa, really?
[chuckles]
140
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,970
I pretended
I was a fat dumbass
141
00:06:34,057 --> 00:06:36,712
who never gets off his couch.
[chuckles]
142
00:06:36,799 --> 00:06:40,237
And he believed me.
[chuckles]
143
00:06:40,324 --> 00:06:42,544
Well, maybe,
maybe I'm the butthole
144
00:06:42,631 --> 00:06:44,502
that the government sent.
145
00:06:44,589 --> 00:06:47,418
Well then, quit standing
around and get to work.
146
00:06:47,505 --> 00:06:49,072
[chuckles]
147
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:53,555
So they said first,
I'm supposed to, like,
148
00:06:53,642 --> 00:06:54,817
tidy up or something.
149
00:06:54,904 --> 00:06:57,080
[groans and coughs]
150
00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:01,432
Well, get to it, Beavis.
My tax dollars pay your salary.
151
00:07:01,519 --> 00:07:03,173
[chuckles]
- I'm gonna throw this away.
152
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:05,959
- Don't throw those out.
- Why not?
153
00:07:06,046 --> 00:07:07,569
I need those for my business.
154
00:07:07,656 --> 00:07:09,310
What business?
155
00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:11,529
One of these days,
I'll tell you, Beavis.
156
00:07:11,616 --> 00:07:13,836
I've got big plans.
157
00:07:13,923 --> 00:07:16,317
No, not the bottle.
158
00:07:16,404 --> 00:07:18,667
You can pick up that chip.
159
00:07:18,754 --> 00:07:20,669
[slurps]
[sighs]
160
00:07:20,756 --> 00:07:23,367
This is the good life.
[chuckles]
161
00:07:23,454 --> 00:07:26,457
Now fix me lunch.
- Is that part of my job?
162
00:07:26,544 --> 00:07:28,068
I was told it was.
163
00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:29,678
[sighs]
Okay, Butt-Head.
164
00:07:29,765 --> 00:07:31,245
Mr. Butt-Head.
165
00:07:31,332 --> 00:07:32,637
I'm not gonna call you
Mr. Butt-Head,
166
00:07:32,724 --> 00:07:34,378
Butt-Head.
167
00:07:34,465 --> 00:07:36,859
I don't want to
have to report you, Beavis.
168
00:07:36,946 --> 00:07:41,081
You want me to get you fired?
- Well, um, no, Mr. Butt-Head.
169
00:07:41,168 --> 00:07:43,779
If I get you fired,
then we don't have any money.
170
00:07:43,866 --> 00:07:45,607
I'm doing this for us.
171
00:07:45,694 --> 00:07:48,958
Damn it.
Self-steam sucks.
172
00:07:49,045 --> 00:07:50,699
Hey, what's up, guys?
173
00:07:50,786 --> 00:07:52,788
It is Stargirl,
the Practical Witch,
174
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:56,096
and welcome
to my YouTube channel today.
175
00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:59,490
We are back again with another
virtual, online,
176
00:07:59,577 --> 00:08:01,144
interactive tarot reading.
177
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,451
Now, what I normally
have you guys do
178
00:08:03,538 --> 00:08:05,888
during this psychic reading
is I have you guys
179
00:08:05,975 --> 00:08:07,846
look at the options
with your--
180
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:11,763
Uh, hmm.
181
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:14,375
[grunts]
Oh, boy.
182
00:08:14,462 --> 00:08:17,378
She's like,
"I can see into the future,
183
00:08:17,465 --> 00:08:19,554
and I'm still talking."
[chuckles]
184
00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:21,208
Yeah, I can see
way into the future,
185
00:08:21,295 --> 00:08:23,775
and I'm still
going on and on and on.
186
00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:25,255
[chuckles]
187
00:08:25,342 --> 00:08:27,388
All-vegan makeup, which
I make a very big deal--
188
00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:31,392
If you, like, knew you'd
eventually score with her,
189
00:08:31,479 --> 00:08:33,524
how long do you think you'd be
able to listen to her talk?
190
00:08:33,611 --> 00:08:35,222
[chuckles]
191
00:08:35,309 --> 00:08:39,008
Probably, like, about five
years, maybe six or seven.
192
00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:43,186
I'm not saying that
you're poor, guys, okay?
193
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,666
I'm not picking that up
at all.
194
00:08:44,753 --> 00:08:46,059
But I'm hearing you, like,
195
00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:48,452
spend a lot of time
in an RV camper--
196
00:08:48,539 --> 00:08:53,109
Uh, I have more psychic
abilities than she does.
197
00:08:53,196 --> 00:08:54,806
Check this out, Beavis.
198
00:08:54,893 --> 00:08:59,028
Uh, okay,
I'm sensing great pain.
199
00:08:59,115 --> 00:09:01,683
No, no, you're just gonna say
you see a smack in my future,
200
00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:03,946
and then you're gonna smack me.
201
00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:05,426
You've been doing this
for 25 years.
202
00:09:05,513 --> 00:09:07,297
Come on.
203
00:09:07,384 --> 00:09:10,213
Uh, I knew you were
gonna say that, Beavis,
204
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,780
for I am the great
Butt-Headini.
205
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:13,260
Yeah, yeah.
206
00:09:13,347 --> 00:09:16,567
Do not
underestimate my powers.
207
00:09:16,654 --> 00:09:18,700
Now check this out.
208
00:09:18,787 --> 00:09:23,879
I'm sensing a--uh--
do you have an uncle?
209
00:09:23,966 --> 00:09:26,229
No.
[chuckles]
210
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,710
Or, I mean, an aunt, maybe?
211
00:09:28,797 --> 00:09:30,712
No, no.
[chuckles]
212
00:09:30,799 --> 00:09:34,150
Uh, a cousin?
213
00:09:34,237 --> 00:09:36,065
No, I don't think so.
214
00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:37,806
I mean, my Uncle Bob had a kid,
but I don't think that's--
215
00:09:37,893 --> 00:09:38,937
Damn it, Beavis.
216
00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:40,461
You said
you don't have an uncle.
217
00:09:40,548 --> 00:09:42,724
I don't--I mean,
except for Uncle Bob.
218
00:09:42,811 --> 00:09:43,899
Damn it, Beavis.
219
00:09:43,986 --> 00:09:46,075
Okay, very well.
220
00:09:46,162 --> 00:09:48,686
I'm sensing a couch.
221
00:09:48,773 --> 00:09:51,994
Is there a couch in your life?
[chuckles]
222
00:09:52,081 --> 00:09:54,127
No, no, I don't think
I know of a couch.
223
00:09:54,214 --> 00:09:56,041
[chuckles]
- Damn it, Beavis.
224
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,435
You're sitting on a couch.
- No, no.
225
00:09:58,522 --> 00:09:59,828
[screams]
226
00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,134
[chuckles]
227
00:10:01,221 --> 00:10:02,787
Wait a minute, Butt-Head.
228
00:10:02,874 --> 00:10:04,398
Wait, did you say
you were gonna smack me?
229
00:10:04,485 --> 00:10:06,008
[chuckles]
230
00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:09,011
Yes, Beavis.
I knew I was going to do that.
231
00:10:09,098 --> 00:10:13,320
It is as I have foreseen, for
I am the great Butt-Headini.
232
00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:14,712
Oh, I guess
you are pretty good then.
233
00:10:14,799 --> 00:10:16,540
[chuckles]
234
00:10:16,627 --> 00:10:18,847
It's time to celebrate
your first paycheck
235
00:10:18,934 --> 00:10:20,588
by buying me beer with it.
236
00:10:20,675 --> 00:10:22,372
Right away, Mr. Butt-Head.
237
00:10:22,459 --> 00:10:24,853
[chuckles]
238
00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:27,290
Uh, what are you doing,
Beavis?
239
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,292
I just want some
Count Chocula.
240
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,600
We need beer,
not, like, health food.
241
00:10:32,687 --> 00:10:34,471
No way!
It's my money.
242
00:10:34,558 --> 00:10:35,864
I earned it.
243
00:10:35,951 --> 00:10:37,126
I gave you a bath.
244
00:10:37,213 --> 00:10:38,562
You wouldn't even have
245
00:10:38,649 --> 00:10:41,435
the money if I wasn't
all pathetic or whatever.
246
00:10:41,522 --> 00:10:42,653
Ah!
Damn it--
247
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:44,873
I'm gonna kill you,
Mr. Butt-Head!
248
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,831
Beavis, you're about to get
fired the hard way.
249
00:10:46,918 --> 00:10:48,050
[loud crashing]
- Ah!
250
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:49,747
Ah, no!
Ah, no!
251
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:52,837
Mr. Butt-Head, no, stop!
No, ah!
252
00:10:52,924 --> 00:10:54,187
Ow, ah!
253
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:55,884
Help, Butt-Head!
Ow, ow!
254
00:10:55,971 --> 00:10:59,583
I swear, Beavis, if you're
still alive, you're fired.
255
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:02,412
[screaming]
256
00:11:05,937 --> 00:11:08,418
[chuckles]
257
00:11:08,505 --> 00:11:10,725
You're unemployed again.
258
00:11:10,812 --> 00:11:13,118
I'm making money
from workman's comp,
259
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,208
and I still have my self-steam.
260
00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:16,731
[both chuckling]
261
00:11:16,818 --> 00:11:18,254
No, you don't.
262
00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:21,301
You're a dumb butthole,
and you always will be.
263
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,346
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I forgot.
264
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:26,219
Yeah, thank you.
[both chuckling]
265
00:11:28,090 --> 00:11:29,961
- Just fascinating.
- Yes, yes.
266
00:11:30,048 --> 00:11:32,312
Intellectually stimulating.
Yes, yes, very humorous.
267
00:11:32,399 --> 00:11:34,401
Unfortunately,
oh, foolish humans,
268
00:11:34,488 --> 00:11:36,054
your puny brains are too weak
269
00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:37,795
to comprehend
what you just saw.
270
00:11:37,882 --> 00:11:39,623
Yes, yes.
271
00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:41,538
I hope you were at least able
to enjoy the pretty colors.
272
00:11:41,625 --> 00:11:43,323
Smart Butt-Head,
273
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:46,021
let us watch it again
to pick up more smart nuances.
274
00:11:46,108 --> 00:11:49,067
We cannot,
because I think I erased it.
275
00:11:49,154 --> 00:11:50,808
Ah, yes, droll, droll, yes.
276
00:11:50,895 --> 00:11:52,593
Quire risible, yes.
- Amusing.
277
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,247
Amusing and humorous,
yes, yes.
278
00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:57,162
Quite off-kilter, yes, yes.
279
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,600
[eerie music]
280
00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:01,428
You missed.
- Yes, yes, indeed.
281
00:12:01,515 --> 00:12:04,082
Too much yaw--
entering new coordinates now.
282
00:12:04,169 --> 00:12:07,216
Um, those are not the right
coordinates, Smart Butt-Head.
283
00:12:07,303 --> 00:12:09,044
Quite farcical, yes.
284
00:12:09,131 --> 00:12:11,873
Yes, yes, allow me.
285
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,875
[loud crash]
- Those were also incorrect.
286
00:12:13,962 --> 00:12:15,964
Yes, yes,
peculiar and quaint, yes, yes.
287
00:12:16,051 --> 00:12:18,532
♪ ♪
288
00:12:20,403 --> 00:12:22,971
[bluesy rock music]
289
00:12:23,058 --> 00:12:30,195
♪ ♪
290
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,213
Chirp.