1 00:00:02,790 --> 00:00:04,313 - ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:07,751 --> 00:00:10,406 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:10,493 --> 00:00:13,627 [bluesy rock music] 4 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:20,329 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:24,507 --> 00:00:27,380 - Ow! Ow! I'ma kick--ow. Ah! 6 00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,208 - Okay, this is our eighth session 7 00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:31,297 to try to improve your behavior, 8 00:00:31,384 --> 00:00:33,777 and if anything, Butt-Head's aggression is getting worse. 9 00:00:33,864 --> 00:00:36,476 - Ow! - Uh, it's the same. 10 00:00:36,563 --> 00:00:38,130 - Ow. 11 00:00:38,217 --> 00:00:40,436 - I'm going to say therapy isn't working. 12 00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:42,351 It's time to try medication. - Ah! 13 00:00:42,438 --> 00:00:44,875 - Yeah, give him some pills. 14 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:45,920 [chuckles] - No. 15 00:00:46,007 --> 00:00:48,053 I mean, medication for you. 16 00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:49,837 Butt-Head, I want you to take one in the morning 17 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,708 and one in the afternoon. 18 00:00:51,795 --> 00:00:54,189 They should help your behavior. 19 00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,366 - Let's flush 'em down the toilet. 20 00:00:57,453 --> 00:00:59,847 [both chuckle] 21 00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,153 Uh, wait a minute. 22 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,458 [sniffs] 23 00:01:02,545 --> 00:01:04,199 These smell like grape. 24 00:01:04,286 --> 00:01:04,982 - I wanna try one. C'mon. 25 00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:06,462 - No way, Beavis. 26 00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:07,855 I'm the one who's aggressive. 27 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:08,769 - Ow! Hey. 28 00:01:08,856 --> 00:01:10,379 - See? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 29 00:01:10,466 --> 00:01:13,382 - Go get some wuss pills or something. 30 00:01:13,469 --> 00:01:14,427 Mmm. [smacks lips] 31 00:01:14,514 --> 00:01:15,906 Not bad. 32 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,170 - [chuckles] 33 00:01:18,257 --> 00:01:20,259 - It better come with refills. 34 00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:21,608 - Maybe if they get some refills, you can give me-- 35 00:01:21,695 --> 00:01:23,218 Ah! 36 00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:27,004 - Good morning, Wilbur! 37 00:01:27,092 --> 00:01:28,615 [pig snorting] 38 00:01:28,702 --> 00:01:30,356 - That thing sounds like you, Beavis. 39 00:01:30,443 --> 00:01:31,705 [mimics grunting] 40 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,359 [pig grunting] 41 00:01:33,446 --> 00:01:34,621 - [chuckling] No, it doesn't. 42 00:01:34,708 --> 00:01:36,753 [grunting] 43 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,146 What is that thing, anyway? 44 00:01:38,233 --> 00:01:41,497 Is that, like, a dog? 45 00:01:41,584 --> 00:01:43,412 - No, he's the star of that movie 46 00:01:43,499 --> 00:01:46,589 where there's like a really annoying spider that has a web 47 00:01:46,676 --> 00:01:49,201 and it keeps making words to save a dog. 48 00:01:49,288 --> 00:01:50,419 [chuckles] 49 00:01:50,506 --> 00:01:53,118 It's stupid. [chuckles] 50 00:01:53,205 --> 00:01:54,031 - Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 51 00:01:54,119 --> 00:01:56,599 - Good morning, buddy! 52 00:01:56,686 --> 00:01:58,645 - Remember when we had that substitute 53 00:01:58,732 --> 00:02:00,647 and he was all, like, drunk, 54 00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:02,170 and then he put that movie on 55 00:02:02,257 --> 00:02:04,085 and just fell asleep at his desk all day? 56 00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:05,217 [both chuckling] 57 00:02:05,304 --> 00:02:06,870 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 58 00:02:06,957 --> 00:02:09,221 He was like, "Oh, this is educational." 59 00:02:09,308 --> 00:02:12,093 [grunting] 60 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:13,964 - It was a tear-jerker. 61 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,270 [chuckles] 62 00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:17,707 [both chuckling] - "Jerker." 63 00:02:17,794 --> 00:02:20,971 [both chuckling] 64 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,060 - You got to back up so I can open the door. 65 00:02:23,148 --> 00:02:26,063 - Is this, like, a prison for animals or something? 66 00:02:26,151 --> 00:02:28,327 [chuckles] - Yeah. 67 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,807 Your sentence is having to listen to this lady 68 00:02:30,894 --> 00:02:32,809 for the rest of your life. - [chuckles] 69 00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:34,898 - Good morning, Grayson! [laughs] 70 00:02:34,985 --> 00:02:38,685 - "Good morning, Grayson!" [mocking laughter] 71 00:02:38,772 --> 00:02:40,948 [chuckles] - They should eat her. 72 00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,907 [both chuckling] 73 00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:45,257 - Yeah, really. 74 00:02:45,344 --> 00:02:46,475 Yeah, see how she likes it. 75 00:02:46,562 --> 00:02:49,130 [chuckling] 76 00:02:49,217 --> 00:02:50,653 - Good morning, Buster. 77 00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:52,699 - Do you know what they call meat from a cow? 78 00:02:52,786 --> 00:02:54,831 [chuckles] Beef. 79 00:02:54,918 --> 00:02:56,093 [chuckles] 80 00:02:56,181 --> 00:02:59,358 [both chuckling] 81 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,322 So, like, um, do those pills, 82 00:03:07,409 --> 00:03:10,325 like, make you feel different or something? 83 00:03:10,412 --> 00:03:14,590 - Eh, no. 84 00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:16,810 But thank you for asking. 85 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,507 [chuckles] 86 00:03:18,594 --> 00:03:20,727 - Oh, um, okay, yeah. 87 00:03:20,814 --> 00:03:22,772 God bless you, or, I don't know. 88 00:03:22,859 --> 00:03:24,774 [chuckles] 89 00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:26,863 This show sucks. [chuckles] 90 00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:28,430 - I guess it does. 91 00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:30,432 But other people probably enjoy it. 92 00:03:30,519 --> 00:03:31,781 [chuckles] 93 00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:36,351 Nothing wrong with that. [chuckles] 94 00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:39,006 - Oh, I--okay. 95 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:42,792 I guess that's true. [chuckles] 96 00:03:42,879 --> 00:03:45,578 But it does kind of suck, Butt-Head. [chuckles] 97 00:03:45,665 --> 00:03:47,623 - We can watch what you want, Beavis. 98 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,886 Anything you wanna do is fine. 99 00:03:49,973 --> 00:03:52,062 [chuckles] 100 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,282 [screaming on TV] 101 00:03:54,369 --> 00:03:57,894 - This is pretty cool. This is better. [chuckles] 102 00:03:57,981 --> 00:04:01,376 - Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it, Beavis. 103 00:04:01,463 --> 00:04:03,073 I like when you enjoy yourself. 104 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,033 [eerie music] 105 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:10,037 ♪ ♪ 106 00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:12,387 - Oh, man. What's going on, Butt-Head? 107 00:04:12,474 --> 00:04:14,084 You're kind of acting weird. 108 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,564 - Whoa. - Ah! 109 00:04:15,651 --> 00:04:17,610 - Settle down, Beavis. [chuckles] 110 00:04:17,697 --> 00:04:19,438 - Um, I thought you were gonna 111 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:20,743 hit me for a second there, you know? 112 00:04:20,830 --> 00:04:22,267 [chuckles] 113 00:04:22,354 --> 00:04:23,485 - Oh, I wouldn't hit you, 114 00:04:23,572 --> 00:04:26,227 Beavis, because you're my friend. 115 00:04:26,314 --> 00:04:27,489 [chuckles] 116 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:33,365 - Um, Butt-Head, I think you should stop taking those pills. 117 00:04:33,452 --> 00:04:35,628 [chuckles] 118 00:04:35,715 --> 00:04:38,413 - [sighs] [chuckles] 119 00:04:43,679 --> 00:04:47,161 - So the sixth planet is Saturn, mm-kay? 120 00:04:47,248 --> 00:04:49,859 Known for its prominent rings. 121 00:04:49,946 --> 00:04:53,776 - Um, Butt-Head, why are you wearing that shirt? 122 00:04:53,863 --> 00:04:58,738 - Uh, it's a sunny day. Why not wear a sunny outfit? 123 00:04:58,825 --> 00:05:00,696 [chuckles] - Can everyone please focus? 124 00:05:00,783 --> 00:05:01,741 Mm-kay? 125 00:05:01,828 --> 00:05:03,308 Class is almost over, 126 00:05:03,395 --> 00:05:05,353 and I'm just trying to squeeze in Uranus. 127 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:09,705 - [chuckles] 128 00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:11,620 Uh, Butt-Head? [chuckles] 129 00:05:11,707 --> 00:05:13,535 - Hmm? - [chuckles] 130 00:05:13,622 --> 00:05:16,843 Van Driessen, he kind of said, "I just wanna squeeze in"-- 131 00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:19,193 - Beavis, Mr. Van Driessen is trying hard 132 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,195 to squeeze in Uranus, okay? 133 00:05:21,282 --> 00:05:22,675 - Yeah, exactly. Like, um--[chuckles] 134 00:05:22,762 --> 00:05:24,241 - Let's try to give him our attention. 135 00:05:24,329 --> 00:05:26,374 - Yeah, but, um-- - [sighs] 136 00:05:26,461 --> 00:05:29,595 I'm glad I brought a nice, sharp pencil for Uranus. 137 00:05:29,682 --> 00:05:31,031 - Come on, Butt-Head. What's going on? 138 00:05:31,118 --> 00:05:32,815 - Nothing, Beavis. 139 00:05:32,902 --> 00:05:35,862 This is the perfect pencil for Uranus. 140 00:05:35,949 --> 00:05:38,560 [chuckles] [school bell rings] 141 00:05:38,647 --> 00:05:41,476 Oh, darn. [chuckles] 142 00:05:41,563 --> 00:05:44,479 - Whoa! Where'd that come from? 143 00:05:44,566 --> 00:05:46,568 Um, Van Driessen? 144 00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:48,178 I think there's something wrong with Butt-Head. 145 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,964 - Oh, I don't think so at all. 146 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:54,663 In fact, Butt-Head, I'm very proud of your behavior today. 147 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:56,230 - No, you don't understand. There's something wrong-- 148 00:05:56,317 --> 00:05:58,275 - Oh, thank you, Mr. Van Driessen. 149 00:05:58,363 --> 00:06:00,452 I enjoyed your class today. 150 00:06:00,539 --> 00:06:02,454 - You mean the part about Uranus, right, Butt-Head? 151 00:06:02,541 --> 00:06:04,238 [chuckles] 152 00:06:04,325 --> 00:06:06,153 - I actually liked Saturn, Beavis, 153 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,460 with its prominent rings. 154 00:06:08,547 --> 00:06:10,331 That was my favorite. - What? 155 00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:11,898 - Would you like to join Beavis 156 00:06:11,985 --> 00:06:13,943 and I for lunch, Mr. Van Driessen? 157 00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:14,901 - Butt-Head, no, no. 158 00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:16,642 - Fascinating. 159 00:06:16,729 --> 00:06:18,208 Mt. Van Driessen, I would love to hear 160 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,819 more stories about the teachers' union. 161 00:06:19,906 --> 00:06:21,211 - Oh, no. 162 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,126 - Well, at the next meeting, 163 00:06:23,213 --> 00:06:26,695 there was quite a spirited debate about the health plan. 164 00:06:26,782 --> 00:06:28,610 - Ooh. [chuckles] 165 00:06:28,697 --> 00:06:31,265 The health plan? - Damn it, Butt-Head. 166 00:06:31,352 --> 00:06:32,788 - Are you okay, Beavis? 167 00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:35,269 I brought an extra banana if you'd like one. 168 00:06:35,356 --> 00:06:36,705 - A what? 169 00:06:36,792 --> 00:06:39,404 - A banana, Beavis. [chuckles] 170 00:06:39,491 --> 00:06:42,494 They're delicious-- better than nachos. 171 00:06:42,581 --> 00:06:45,845 ♪ ♪ 172 00:06:45,932 --> 00:06:47,499 Mmm. 173 00:06:47,586 --> 00:06:48,587 A banana. 174 00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:58,466 [humming] [scratching sound] 175 00:07:00,163 --> 00:07:02,339 - Damn it, Butt-Head. This sucks. 176 00:07:02,427 --> 00:07:04,777 You have to stop taking those pills. 177 00:07:04,864 --> 00:07:09,129 - But Beavis, I was told to take these pills by an adult. 178 00:07:09,216 --> 00:07:10,522 Is there something else that's bothering you? 179 00:07:10,609 --> 00:07:12,088 - Yeah, there is! - [chuckles] 180 00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:16,310 - It's bothering me that you're acting like a butthole! 181 00:07:16,397 --> 00:07:17,616 - I hear you, Beavis. 182 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:19,922 I'll try to do better. - Damn it. 183 00:07:20,009 --> 00:07:21,663 Stop agreeing with everything I say! 184 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,578 - Okay, Beavis. - See, you did it again! 185 00:07:23,665 --> 00:07:26,276 Stop it! 186 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,235 - What would you like me to do, Beavis? 187 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,802 - Damn it, Butt-Head! 188 00:07:29,889 --> 00:07:31,891 You're a butthole and your mom's a slut 189 00:07:31,978 --> 00:07:34,850 and you suck! [chuckles] 190 00:07:34,937 --> 00:07:38,680 - Beavis, thank you for being honest with me. 191 00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:41,117 I think we can work this out if we just dialogue 192 00:07:41,204 --> 00:07:42,902 like Ms. Ortiz modeled for us, and we-- 193 00:07:42,989 --> 00:07:45,382 - [screams] - Oh, Beavis, my pills. 194 00:07:45,470 --> 00:07:46,558 - Ah! Enough! 195 00:07:46,645 --> 00:07:48,777 [screaming] 196 00:07:48,864 --> 00:07:50,779 - Beavis, this is a step backwards for you. 197 00:07:50,866 --> 00:07:51,998 I'm concerned-- 198 00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:53,216 - Stop acting like a wuss! 199 00:07:53,303 --> 00:07:55,131 Call me a butthole! 200 00:07:55,218 --> 00:07:57,003 Say, "Beavis is a butthole!" 201 00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:59,396 - [coughing] Don't say that about my friend. 202 00:07:59,484 --> 00:08:01,398 [gagging] 203 00:08:03,618 --> 00:08:05,707 - Oh, damn it. Damn it. 204 00:08:05,794 --> 00:08:07,013 Ah! 205 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:09,711 [grunting] 206 00:08:09,798 --> 00:08:12,975 - [pukes] 207 00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:15,935 [both panting] 208 00:08:18,241 --> 00:08:21,157 [eerie music] 209 00:08:21,244 --> 00:08:28,600 ♪ ♪ 210 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,037 What the hell is wrong with you, butthole? 211 00:08:31,124 --> 00:08:32,168 - Ah! Hittin' me. 212 00:08:32,255 --> 00:08:34,040 Oh, yeah. 213 00:08:34,127 --> 00:08:36,521 - Beavis, you're about to get your ass kicked. 214 00:08:36,608 --> 00:08:38,348 - No, no, no-- [chuckles] 215 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:39,436 Ah! - Damn it. 216 00:08:39,524 --> 00:08:40,481 - Ah! - Butthole. 217 00:08:40,568 --> 00:08:41,743 - Ah! Cut it out. 218 00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:42,701 - [grunts] - Ah! 219 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:45,747 [rock music] 220 00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:47,227 Ow. Ah! 221 00:08:47,314 --> 00:08:50,273 - [grunting] 222 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,188 - Ah! 223 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,107 [both chuckling] 224 00:08:58,194 --> 00:09:01,328 [bluesy rock music] 225 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:08,030 ♪ ♪ 226 00:09:11,904 --> 00:09:14,820 [eerie music] 227 00:09:14,907 --> 00:09:18,214 ♪ ♪ 228 00:09:18,301 --> 00:09:22,871 - Behold, I am Smart Butt-Head. - And I am Smart Beavis. 229 00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:25,221 Greetings, oh, primitive humans. 230 00:09:25,308 --> 00:09:27,093 - We hail from an alternate universe where we, 231 00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:29,486 Beavis and Butt-Head, are super intelligent. 232 00:09:29,574 --> 00:09:31,271 - There are billions and billions 233 00:09:31,358 --> 00:09:33,708 of alternate universes, oh, foolish ones. 234 00:09:33,795 --> 00:09:36,842 - But the one most fascinating to our vast intellects 235 00:09:36,929 --> 00:09:38,757 is the one where Beavis and Butt-Head were teenagers 236 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,542 in the 1990s, but then grew older. 237 00:09:41,629 --> 00:09:45,241 - And they're now middle-aged at the height of their powers. 238 00:09:45,328 --> 00:09:48,114 - Join us, dull-witted earthlings, as we look upon 239 00:09:48,201 --> 00:09:51,813 that universe and sample its delights spread out before us, 240 00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,815 like a banquet of space nachos. 241 00:09:53,902 --> 00:09:56,078 - Priceless wit of a satirical bent. 242 00:09:56,165 --> 00:09:57,776 - Whimsical, yes, yes, quite absurd. 243 00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:58,777 - Whimsical, yes, indeed, yes. 244 00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:00,779 ♪ ♪ 245 00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:03,738 [both chuckling] 246 00:10:08,264 --> 00:10:13,139 - [coughs] - [coughs] 247 00:10:13,226 --> 00:10:17,360 Butt-Head, we're out of beers, Butt-Head. 248 00:10:17,447 --> 00:10:21,147 - Eh, well, go get some more, dumbass. 249 00:10:21,234 --> 00:10:23,062 - I'm out of money. 250 00:10:23,149 --> 00:10:25,978 - So go give some more blood. 251 00:10:26,065 --> 00:10:28,067 - I went twice already this morning. 252 00:10:28,154 --> 00:10:29,808 They won't take my blood anymore, because they said 253 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,854 it's too watery, then I passed out, 254 00:10:32,941 --> 00:10:35,204 and some guy stole my cookie. 255 00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:38,251 I guess we need to, like, get jobs or something. 256 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,819 - Being unemployed is our job, dumbass. 257 00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:43,691 [chuckles] They send us money. 258 00:10:43,778 --> 00:10:45,519 - Ran out of that too. 259 00:10:45,606 --> 00:10:47,782 Should I go down to that unemployment store 260 00:10:47,869 --> 00:10:49,262 and get some more or something? 261 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,657 - Yeah, and hurry up, you worthless dumbass. 262 00:10:52,744 --> 00:10:57,052 - [grunts] Oh, boy. 263 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,968 - Job. [chuckles] 264 00:11:00,055 --> 00:11:02,536 - ♪ Ooh, too lit ♪ 265 00:11:02,623 --> 00:11:04,451 ♪ Forgot who I was talking to, shit ♪ 266 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:07,193 [both chuckling] 267 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,325 ♪ Love ain't how they advertise it ♪ 268 00:11:09,412 --> 00:11:11,371 - Oh, hey, 269 00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:13,460 that looks like that time you had that heart attack, 270 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:18,726 and then they, like, brought you back with that infibulator. 271 00:11:18,813 --> 00:11:21,555 [both chuckling] 272 00:11:21,642 --> 00:11:23,992 - Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 273 00:11:24,079 --> 00:11:26,081 That thing hurt. [chuckles] 274 00:11:26,168 --> 00:11:28,170 - They said you were dead for a while too. 275 00:11:28,257 --> 00:11:32,174 - Uh, that's right, I was. [chuckles] 276 00:11:32,261 --> 00:11:36,004 When I closed my eyes, I thought I saw God, 277 00:11:36,091 --> 00:11:39,965 and he said, "I love you, Butt-Head. 278 00:11:40,052 --> 00:11:43,316 Keep doing what you're doing, and don't ever come back." 279 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,188 [chuckles] 280 00:11:46,275 --> 00:11:47,799 And then I woke up. [chuckles] 281 00:11:47,886 --> 00:11:51,716 - And then d'you, like, change your life or something? 282 00:11:51,803 --> 00:11:53,587 - No. [chuckles] 283 00:11:53,674 --> 00:11:57,199 I was completely unchanged. [chuckles] 284 00:11:57,286 --> 00:12:00,986 And then they sent me a bill for $124,000, 285 00:12:01,073 --> 00:12:06,121 and I never paid it. [both chuckling] 286 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:10,299 I get a notice every couple months, and I just ignore it. 287 00:12:10,386 --> 00:12:12,911 [chuckles] 288 00:12:13,563 --> 00:12:15,435 - In a just world, they would've killed you. 289 00:12:15,522 --> 00:12:16,828 [chuckles] 290 00:12:16,915 --> 00:12:18,917 - Yeah. [chuckles] 291 00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:24,749 It's not fair. [chuckles] 292 00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:27,534 - That liquor store, like, makes me wanna drink a beer. 293 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:28,883 [chuckles] 294 00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:32,452 - Uh, you are drinking a beer. [chuckles] 295 00:12:32,539 --> 00:12:34,280 - Oh, yeah, yeah, but I mean, like, 296 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,891 another one after this. [chuckles] 297 00:12:36,978 --> 00:12:39,372 - Uh, is there anything that 298 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,982 doesn't make you wanna drink a beer? 299 00:12:41,069 --> 00:12:44,203 [chuckles] - Well, let me think. 300 00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:45,639 No. 301 00:12:45,726 --> 00:12:48,424 Oh, um--no, no. 302 00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:52,689 I guess not. [chuckles] 303 00:12:52,777 --> 00:12:54,648 [sighs and chuckles] 304 00:12:54,735 --> 00:12:56,824 I think I'm, like, an alcoholic, 305 00:12:56,911 --> 00:12:58,652 but with beer, you know? 306 00:12:58,739 --> 00:13:02,221 [both chuckling] 307 00:13:02,308 --> 00:13:03,788 Oh, look at that pawn shop. 308 00:13:03,875 --> 00:13:05,615 I think this is our neighborhood. 309 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,052 [chuckles] 310 00:13:07,139 --> 00:13:10,185 - Eh, oh, yeah. It is. 311 00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:12,840 [chuckles] Remember that time you pawned 312 00:13:12,927 --> 00:13:16,061 everything you owned, and you only got $30? 313 00:13:16,148 --> 00:13:19,238 [chuckles] - Oh, yeah, yeah. 314 00:13:19,325 --> 00:13:22,110 Yeah, that was a great day, yeah. 315 00:13:22,197 --> 00:13:24,199 I spent it all on some St. Ides. 316 00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:25,853 [chuckles] 317 00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:29,291 That crooked eye, yeah. [chuckles] 318 00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:36,472 I would like more unemployment, please. 319 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,388 - Well, our records show you maxed out your benefits. 320 00:13:39,475 --> 00:13:40,912 - Cool. [chuckles] 321 00:13:40,999 --> 00:13:43,088 - But let's see if we can find you a job. 322 00:13:43,175 --> 00:13:44,829 - What? What? No, no. 323 00:13:44,916 --> 00:13:47,832 No, I came down here for money. Yeah, yeah. 324 00:13:47,919 --> 00:13:50,486 - Let's see what you're qualified for. 325 00:13:50,573 --> 00:13:52,619 Last job? 326 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,186 - I was fired from Burger World. 327 00:13:54,273 --> 00:13:56,318 - And when was that? 328 00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:59,626 - It was, like, two weeks ago. 329 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,542 - It says here 23 years ago. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 330 00:14:02,629 --> 00:14:04,413 Yeah, that sounds right. 331 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,982 Also, I donate blood and sperm. 332 00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:10,332 - And you donate the sperm where? 333 00:14:10,419 --> 00:14:13,814 - Um, just kind of everywhere, you know? 334 00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:16,208 - Okay, you're gonna need something completely unskilled. 335 00:14:16,295 --> 00:14:17,600 - Yeah, that sounds cool. 336 00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:19,646 - I have an opening for a home aide. 337 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,257 It's a government program where you help people 338 00:14:22,344 --> 00:14:23,650 who can't take care of themselves 339 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,652 just with ordinary, household tasks. 340 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,306 You know how to do that, right? 341 00:14:27,393 --> 00:14:29,221 - Um, I've been in a house, yeah. 342 00:14:29,308 --> 00:14:31,397 - Here's the client's address. 343 00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:33,442 They pay's not much, but I think you'll find 344 00:14:33,529 --> 00:14:35,401 helping someone even less fortunate than yourself 345 00:14:35,488 --> 00:14:37,533 will help give you self-esteem. 346 00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,057 - Self-steam? 347 00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:41,015 - It'll make you feel good about yourself. 348 00:14:41,102 --> 00:14:45,106 - Wow. Self-steam. Hmm. 349 00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:49,023 [chuckling] Dicks. 350 00:14:52,635 --> 00:14:54,681 - [humming] 351 00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:58,380 Okay, time to get your self-steam. 352 00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:00,295 [chuckles] 353 00:15:00,382 --> 00:15:04,169 Time to meet the dillhole who can't take care of himself. 354 00:15:04,256 --> 00:15:07,085 I wonder what he looks like. [chuckles] 355 00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:08,956 Here we go. [chuckles] 356 00:15:11,219 --> 00:15:14,483 - Uh, what are you knocking for, dumbass? 357 00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:17,051 I thought you were the butthole the government sent. 358 00:15:17,138 --> 00:15:19,140 - What butthole? [chuckles] 359 00:15:19,227 --> 00:15:21,708 - The social worker called and asked if I needed help 360 00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,666 'cause the neighbors complained. 361 00:15:23,753 --> 00:15:25,668 - Whoa, really? [chuckles] 362 00:15:25,755 --> 00:15:27,975 - I pretended I was a fat dumbass 363 00:15:28,062 --> 00:15:30,717 who never gets off his couch. [chuckles] 364 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:34,242 And he believed me. [chuckles] 365 00:15:34,329 --> 00:15:36,549 - Well, maybe, maybe I'm the butthole 366 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,507 that the government sent. 367 00:15:38,594 --> 00:15:41,423 - Well then, quit standing around and get to work. 368 00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:43,077 [chuckles] 369 00:15:44,905 --> 00:15:47,560 - So they said first, I'm supposed to, like, 370 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:48,822 tidy up or something. 371 00:15:48,909 --> 00:15:51,085 - [groans and coughs] 372 00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:55,437 Well, get to it, Beavis. My tax dollars pay your salary. 373 00:15:55,524 --> 00:15:57,178 [chuckles] - I'm gonna throw this away. 374 00:15:57,265 --> 00:15:59,964 - Don't throw those out. - Why not? 375 00:16:00,051 --> 00:16:01,574 - I need those for my business. 376 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,315 - What business? 377 00:16:03,402 --> 00:16:05,534 - One of these days, I'll tell you, Beavis. 378 00:16:05,621 --> 00:16:07,841 I've got big plans. 379 00:16:07,928 --> 00:16:10,322 No, not the bottle. 380 00:16:10,409 --> 00:16:12,672 You can pick up that chip. 381 00:16:12,759 --> 00:16:14,674 [slurps] [sighs] 382 00:16:14,761 --> 00:16:17,372 This is the good life. [chuckles] 383 00:16:17,459 --> 00:16:20,462 Now fix me lunch. - Is that part of my job? 384 00:16:20,549 --> 00:16:22,073 - I was told it was. 385 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,683 - [sighs] Okay, Butt-Head. 386 00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:25,250 - Mr. Butt-Head. 387 00:16:25,337 --> 00:16:26,642 - I'm not gonna call you Mr. Butt-Head, 388 00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:28,383 Butt-Head. 389 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,864 - I don't want to have to report you, Beavis. 390 00:16:30,951 --> 00:16:35,086 You want me to get you fired? - Well, um, no, Mr. Butt-Head. 391 00:16:35,173 --> 00:16:37,784 - If I get you fired, then we don't have any money. 392 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,612 I'm doing this for us. 393 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,963 - Damn it. Self-steam sucks. 394 00:16:43,050 --> 00:16:44,704 - Hey, what's up, guys? 395 00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,793 It is Stargirl, the Practical Witch, 396 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,101 and welcome to my YouTube channel today. 397 00:16:50,188 --> 00:16:53,495 We are back again with another virtual, online, 398 00:16:53,582 --> 00:16:55,149 interactive tarot reading. 399 00:16:55,236 --> 00:16:57,456 Now, what I normally have you guys do 400 00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:59,893 during this psychic reading is I have you guys 401 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,851 look at the options with your-- 402 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:05,768 - Uh, hmm. 403 00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:08,380 - [grunts] Oh, boy. 404 00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:11,383 - She's like, "I can see into the future, 405 00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:13,559 and I'm still talking." [chuckles] 406 00:17:13,646 --> 00:17:15,213 - Yeah, I can see way into the future, 407 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,780 and I'm still going on and on and on. 408 00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:19,260 [chuckles] 409 00:17:19,347 --> 00:17:21,393 - All-vegan makeup, which I make a very big deal-- 410 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,397 - If you, like, knew you'd eventually score with her, 411 00:17:25,484 --> 00:17:27,529 how long do you think you'd be able to listen to her talk? 412 00:17:27,616 --> 00:17:29,227 [chuckles] 413 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:33,013 - Probably, like, about five years, maybe six or seven. 414 00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:37,191 - I'm not saying that you're poor, guys, okay? 415 00:17:37,278 --> 00:17:38,671 I'm not picking that up at all. 416 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,064 But I'm hearing you, like, 417 00:17:40,151 --> 00:17:42,457 spend a lot of time in an RV camper-- 418 00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:47,114 - Uh, I have more psychic abilities than she does. 419 00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:48,811 Check this out, Beavis. 420 00:17:48,898 --> 00:17:53,033 Uh, okay, I'm sensing great pain. 421 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,688 - No, no, you're just gonna say you see a smack in my future, 422 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,951 and then you're gonna smack me. 423 00:17:58,038 --> 00:17:59,431 You've been doing this for 25 years. 424 00:17:59,518 --> 00:18:01,302 Come on. 425 00:18:01,389 --> 00:18:04,218 - Uh, I knew you were gonna say that, Beavis, 426 00:18:04,305 --> 00:18:05,785 for I am the great Butt-Headini. 427 00:18:05,872 --> 00:18:07,265 - Yeah, yeah. 428 00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:10,572 - Do not underestimate my powers. 429 00:18:10,659 --> 00:18:12,705 Now check this out. 430 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:17,884 I'm sensing a--uh-- do you have an uncle? 431 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,234 - No. [chuckles] 432 00:18:20,321 --> 00:18:22,715 - Or, I mean, an aunt, maybe? 433 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,717 - No, no. [chuckles] 434 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:28,155 - Uh, a cousin? 435 00:18:28,242 --> 00:18:30,070 - No, I don't think so. 436 00:18:30,157 --> 00:18:31,811 I mean, my Uncle Bob had a kid, but I don't think that's-- 437 00:18:31,898 --> 00:18:32,942 - Damn it, Beavis. 438 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,466 You said you don't have an uncle. 439 00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:36,729 - I don't--I mean, except for Uncle Bob. 440 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:37,904 - Damn it, Beavis. 441 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,080 Okay, very well. 442 00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:42,691 I'm sensing a couch. 443 00:18:42,778 --> 00:18:45,999 Is there a couch in your life? [chuckles] 444 00:18:46,086 --> 00:18:48,132 - No, no, I don't think I know of a couch. 445 00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:50,046 [chuckles] - Damn it, Beavis. 446 00:18:50,134 --> 00:18:52,440 You're sitting on a couch. - No, no. 447 00:18:52,527 --> 00:18:53,833 [screams] 448 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,139 [chuckles] 449 00:18:55,226 --> 00:18:56,792 Wait a minute, Butt-Head. 450 00:18:56,879 --> 00:18:58,403 Wait, did you say you were gonna smack me? 451 00:18:58,490 --> 00:19:00,013 [chuckles] 452 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:03,016 - Yes, Beavis. I knew I was going to do that. 453 00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:07,325 It is as I have foreseen, for I am the great Butt-Headini. 454 00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:08,717 - Oh, I guess you are pretty good then. 455 00:19:08,804 --> 00:19:10,545 [chuckles] 456 00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:12,852 - It's time to celebrate your first paycheck 457 00:19:12,939 --> 00:19:14,593 by buying me beer with it. 458 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,377 - Right away, Mr. Butt-Head. 459 00:19:16,464 --> 00:19:18,858 - [chuckles] 460 00:19:18,945 --> 00:19:21,295 Uh, what are you doing, Beavis? 461 00:19:21,382 --> 00:19:23,297 - I just want some Count Chocula. 462 00:19:23,384 --> 00:19:26,605 - We need beer, not, like, health food. 463 00:19:26,692 --> 00:19:28,476 - No way! It's my money. 464 00:19:28,563 --> 00:19:29,869 I earned it. 465 00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:31,131 I gave you a bath. 466 00:19:31,218 --> 00:19:32,567 - You wouldn't even have 467 00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:35,440 the money if I wasn't all pathetic or whatever. 468 00:19:35,527 --> 00:19:36,658 - Ah! Damn it-- 469 00:19:36,745 --> 00:19:38,878 I'm gonna kill you, Mr. Butt-Head! 470 00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:40,836 - Beavis, you're about to get fired the hard way. 471 00:19:40,923 --> 00:19:42,055 [loud crashing] - Ah! 472 00:19:42,142 --> 00:19:43,752 Ah, no! Ah, no! 473 00:19:43,839 --> 00:19:46,842 Mr. Butt-Head, no, stop! No, ah! 474 00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:48,192 Ow, ah! 475 00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:49,889 Help, Butt-Head! Ow, ow! 476 00:19:49,976 --> 00:19:53,588 - I swear, Beavis, if you're still alive, you're fired. 477 00:19:53,675 --> 00:19:56,417 - [screaming] 478 00:19:59,942 --> 00:20:02,423 - [chuckles] 479 00:20:02,510 --> 00:20:04,730 You're unemployed again. 480 00:20:04,817 --> 00:20:07,123 - I'm making money from workman's comp, 481 00:20:07,211 --> 00:20:09,213 and I still have my self-steam. 482 00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:10,736 [both chuckling] 483 00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:12,259 - No, you don't. 484 00:20:12,346 --> 00:20:15,306 You're a dumb butthole, and you always will be. 485 00:20:15,393 --> 00:20:17,351 - Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I forgot. 486 00:20:17,438 --> 00:20:20,224 Yeah, thank you. [both chuckling] 487 00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:23,966 - Just fascinating. - Yes, yes. 488 00:20:24,053 --> 00:20:26,317 Intellectually stimulating. Yes, yes, very humorous. 489 00:20:26,404 --> 00:20:28,406 - Unfortunately, oh, foolish humans, 490 00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:30,059 your puny brains are too weak 491 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,800 to comprehend what you just saw. 492 00:20:31,887 --> 00:20:33,628 - Yes, yes. 493 00:20:33,715 --> 00:20:35,543 I hope you were at least able to enjoy the pretty colors. 494 00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:37,328 Smart Butt-Head, 495 00:20:37,415 --> 00:20:40,026 let us watch it again to pick up more smart nuances. 496 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:43,072 - We cannot, because I think I erased it. 497 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,813 - Ah, yes, droll, droll, yes. 498 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:46,598 Quire risible, yes. - Amusing. 499 00:20:46,685 --> 00:20:48,252 Amusing and humorous, yes, yes. 500 00:20:48,339 --> 00:20:51,167 - Quite off-kilter, yes, yes. 501 00:20:51,255 --> 00:20:53,605 [eerie music] 502 00:20:53,692 --> 00:20:55,433 You missed. - Yes, yes, indeed. 503 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,087 Too much yaw-- entering new coordinates now. 504 00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:01,221 - Um, those are not the right coordinates, Smart Butt-Head. 505 00:21:01,308 --> 00:21:03,049 - Quite farcical, yes. 506 00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:05,878 - Yes, yes, allow me. 507 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,880 [loud crash] - Those were also incorrect. 508 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,969 - Yes, yes, peculiar and quaint, yes, yes. 509 00:21:10,056 --> 00:21:12,537 ♪ ♪ 510 00:21:14,408 --> 00:21:16,976 [bluesy rock music] 511 00:21:17,063 --> 00:21:24,200 ♪ ♪ 512 00:21:40,304 --> 00:21:42,218 - Chirp.