1
00:00:10,479 --> 00:00:12,581
Well, I hope
to see everyone tonight
2
00:00:12,648 --> 00:00:14,150
at the school dance.
3
00:00:14,217 --> 00:00:16,219
The Dance Committee
worked really hard
4
00:00:16,285 --> 00:00:19,756
decorating the gym, okay?
5
00:00:19,823 --> 00:00:21,825
Hey, are you dorks
going to the dance?
6
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:24,527
Uh, no.
7
00:00:24,593 --> 00:00:26,930
We're gonna drink beer
and kick some ass.
8
00:00:28,431 --> 00:00:31,100
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
drinking beer and kicking ass.
9
00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:33,036
Yeah.
10
00:00:36,572 --> 00:00:39,042
Um, Butt-Head,
we don't have any beer.
11
00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:43,780
We don't have any ass either.
12
00:00:43,847 --> 00:00:45,581
Go kick
that grasshopper's ass
13
00:00:45,648 --> 00:00:47,216
while I figure out
how to get some beer.
14
00:00:48,517 --> 00:00:50,353
Okay, um...
15
00:00:50,419 --> 00:00:51,955
Let's see, um...
16
00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:54,891
which part is his ass?
Okay, here we go.
17
00:00:56,860 --> 00:00:59,763
Butt-Head, help!
18
00:00:59,829 --> 00:01:03,132
You got some insect pests
in your lot there, do you?
19
00:01:03,199 --> 00:01:07,236
Uh, can you, like, shut up?
20
00:01:07,303 --> 00:01:09,873
Beavis is trying to kick
this bug's ass.
21
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,441
Well, that's not
gonna get rid of 'em.
22
00:01:12,508 --> 00:01:16,045
You need some pesticide.
Here, follow me.
23
00:01:16,112 --> 00:01:19,615
Yeah, the American pesticides
don't work anymore
24
00:01:19,682 --> 00:01:23,219
because of the goddamn
hippie environmentalists,
25
00:01:23,286 --> 00:01:24,921
so I drove down to Mexico
26
00:01:24,988 --> 00:01:28,157
and got some
good, old fashioned DDT.
27
00:01:28,224 --> 00:01:30,894
It's getting so Mexico
is the only place
28
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,329
you can be an American anymore.
29
00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:37,600
Yeah, just don't touch it now.
It's real poisonous.
30
00:01:38,734 --> 00:01:41,170
What is that stuff?
31
00:01:41,237 --> 00:01:43,239
Uh, well, let's see.
32
00:01:43,306 --> 00:01:48,878
That says something in Spanish.
Uh, and that's a fly.
33
00:01:48,945 --> 00:01:52,248
Whoa, Spanish, fly.
34
00:01:52,315 --> 00:01:54,884
This is Spanish fly.
35
00:01:54,951 --> 00:01:57,586
Um, and what's that?
36
00:01:57,653 --> 00:02:00,456
That's, like,
a "after-disiac"
37
00:02:01,891 --> 00:02:03,592
It, like, makes people
who want to drink it
38
00:02:03,659 --> 00:02:05,528
want to score.
39
00:02:05,594 --> 00:02:07,964
Yeah,
but I already want to score.
40
00:02:09,232 --> 00:02:10,934
So do I, Beavis,
but wouldn't it be
41
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,169
a better world if everyone
was like us?
42
00:02:14,470 --> 00:02:16,739
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
then everyone
43
00:02:16,806 --> 00:02:18,574
would be scoring all the time.
44
00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:20,043
Yeah.
45
00:02:20,109 --> 00:02:23,112
Beavis, we could make
the world a better place.
46
00:02:26,582 --> 00:02:29,986
Those are two good boys
out there, I tell you what.
47
00:02:30,053 --> 00:02:33,122
Not like those other two
who live around here,
48
00:02:33,189 --> 00:02:34,523
Travis and Burt.
49
00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:36,425
Mm-hmm.
50
00:02:36,492 --> 00:02:38,094
This is gonna be cool.
51
00:02:39,728 --> 00:02:42,098
Before we set off
on our journey,
52
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:45,468
let's relax
and get comfortable.
53
00:02:45,534 --> 00:02:47,703
You may notice your breath.
54
00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:50,773
You may notice your breath.
55
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:54,777
Boy, this guy is a creepy perv.
56
00:02:54,844 --> 00:02:57,113
You may notice
your head and neck
57
00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:58,882
relaxing onto your pillow...
58
00:02:58,948 --> 00:03:00,383
You may notice yourself
59
00:03:00,449 --> 00:03:03,752
watching a horrible,
boring video that sucks.
60
00:03:03,819 --> 00:03:05,889
This reminds me
of that pervy guy
61
00:03:05,955 --> 00:03:08,691
at the model train store
that always takes you camping.
62
00:03:08,757 --> 00:03:11,160
Shut up, Butt-Head.
He's not pervy.
63
00:03:12,395 --> 00:03:14,363
And you may not notice
my hands
64
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:16,399
even getting lower.
65
00:03:16,465 --> 00:03:17,934
Shut up, Butt-Head.
66
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:20,136
He's just a little handsy.
67
00:03:20,203 --> 00:03:21,804
You know, he just likes
to sniff hair
68
00:03:21,871 --> 00:03:23,306
and rub shoulders
and stuff like that, you know.
69
00:03:24,673 --> 00:03:26,542
This evening
on the way to sleep,
70
00:03:26,609 --> 00:03:29,712
we'll be travelling
from Rouen to Evreux.
71
00:03:29,778 --> 00:03:32,415
We'll be traveling
from "rugh" to "abugh"
72
00:03:34,884 --> 00:03:35,919
Yeah,
and we'll be stopping off
73
00:03:35,985 --> 00:03:38,187
at "bleugh-ugh"...
74
00:03:38,254 --> 00:03:40,223
To use the bathroom
and have a shake or something.
75
00:03:42,158 --> 00:03:44,994
What language is that?
76
00:03:45,061 --> 00:03:47,763
Uh, I think
it's, like, French.
77
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:49,532
Oh, yeah, yeah.
78
00:03:49,598 --> 00:03:51,600
I think, to speak French,
you have to, like,
79
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,937
drink a bunch of milk
and get all this, like,
80
00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:56,272
phlegm in your throat
so you can start going
81
00:03:59,308 --> 00:04:00,643
Yeah, yeah.
82
00:04:07,383 --> 00:04:09,118
Whoa, that's pretty good, Beavis.
83
00:04:09,185 --> 00:04:11,354
Where did you learn to do that?
84
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,822
Um, my grandpa
used to speak French
85
00:04:13,889 --> 00:04:15,024
when he got up in the morning.
86
00:04:15,091 --> 00:04:18,161
He'd be like...
87
00:04:22,565 --> 00:04:24,800
And also, like,
once a week when he was locked
88
00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:27,203
in the room with Grandma.
89
00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:30,773
Ooh, ah, ooh.
90
00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:34,210
Bleh, bleh, ugh, ugh!
91
00:04:34,277 --> 00:04:36,279
Uh, so what does that mean?
92
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:39,949
I think he was saying, like,
"This sucks" or something.
93
00:04:49,825 --> 00:04:52,728
Spanish fly is cool.
94
00:05:00,536 --> 00:05:02,605
I think it, like,
melted my shoe or something.
95
00:05:02,671 --> 00:05:05,374
You won't need that shoe
when you score, Beavis.
96
00:05:05,441 --> 00:05:07,776
Yeah, everyone in the school
is gonna drink this stuff,
97
00:05:07,843 --> 00:05:09,745
and then
everyone is gonna score.
98
00:05:09,812 --> 00:05:11,314
Yeah.
99
00:05:13,849 --> 00:05:15,951
Shoes will become
a thing of the past.
100
00:05:16,019 --> 00:05:19,222
Yeah, yeah, and pants too.
101
00:05:19,288 --> 00:05:22,125
They will call us heroes.
102
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,860
You know, Butt-Head,
I just wanna say, um,
103
00:05:24,927 --> 00:05:27,230
it feels really good
to do something nice
104
00:05:27,296 --> 00:05:29,332
for other people.
You know what I mean?
105
00:05:29,398 --> 00:05:31,567
Now let's give it
a little flavor here.
106
00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:36,705
Huh.
107
00:05:36,772 --> 00:05:38,974
Where'd it go?
108
00:05:39,042 --> 00:05:41,877
Um, I think my foot
is bleeding.
109
00:05:43,412 --> 00:05:45,548
Just look at
all those people, Beavis.
110
00:05:45,614 --> 00:05:48,684
They have no idea that tonight
they shall score.
111
00:05:50,386 --> 00:05:53,322
This is the most nicest thing
we have ever done.
112
00:05:53,389 --> 00:05:55,558
I don't even need anyone
to thank us, yeah.
113
00:05:56,759 --> 00:05:58,261
Just feels good to do it,
you know?
114
00:05:58,327 --> 00:06:01,097
- That's right, Beavis.
115
00:06:01,164 --> 00:06:02,665
Everyone having sex
with each other
116
00:06:02,731 --> 00:06:05,068
right here in the gym
will be its own reward.
117
00:06:05,134 --> 00:06:07,970
Yeah, yeah, this is
the true meaning of Christmas.
118
00:06:08,037 --> 00:06:09,972
Yeah.
119
00:06:10,039 --> 00:06:12,541
Yeah.
120
00:06:12,608 --> 00:06:15,611
Um, Butt-Head, do you think
it might run out later,
121
00:06:15,678 --> 00:06:18,747
and then we don't get any,
and then we don't get to score?
122
00:06:18,814 --> 00:06:22,418
Uh, I don't know.
123
00:06:22,485 --> 00:06:24,853
I'm gonna have a little now
just in case.
124
00:06:27,723 --> 00:06:30,293
Ugh.
125
00:06:30,359 --> 00:06:32,928
Good idea.
126
00:06:32,995 --> 00:06:34,063
Ooh!
127
00:06:35,464 --> 00:06:38,834
Um, Butt-Head,
it doesn't taste very good.
128
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:41,437
That's the taste of scoring, dumbass,
129
00:06:41,504 --> 00:06:42,838
and if you don't like it,
130
00:06:42,905 --> 00:06:45,441
then maybe scoring's
not for you.
131
00:06:45,508 --> 00:06:46,842
Ugh!
132
00:06:46,909 --> 00:06:47,976
No.
133
00:06:48,043 --> 00:06:50,246
No, I like it.
It tastes good.
134
00:06:50,313 --> 00:06:51,847
I think it was just
that damn orange
135
00:06:51,914 --> 00:06:54,317
I put in there.
136
00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:56,219
Yeah, that's good.
137
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:58,187
I think it's, like,
scoring in my mouth
138
00:06:58,254 --> 00:07:01,023
or something maybe.
I don't know, hm.
139
00:07:01,090 --> 00:07:03,726
Uh, you drank more than me, butthole.
140
00:07:06,162 --> 00:07:08,131
Now we're even.
- No way, Butt-Head!
141
00:07:08,197 --> 00:07:09,465
That was more than me!
142
00:07:12,135 --> 00:07:14,270
Ugh, ah!
143
00:07:14,337 --> 00:07:16,772
Now we're even, yeah.
- No, we're not.
144
00:07:16,839 --> 00:07:19,074
You didn't count that stuff
that was on your shoe.
145
00:07:19,142 --> 00:07:20,709
No way, Butt-Head,
that's not fair.
146
00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:38,427
Uh, I don't feel so good.
147
00:07:38,494 --> 00:07:40,296
- Yeah, me too, yeah.
148
00:07:41,664 --> 00:07:43,632
Maybe we'll feel better
after we score.
149
00:07:43,699 --> 00:07:45,033
- Oh, yeah.
150
00:07:46,302 --> 00:07:48,003
Help yourself
to some punch, ladies.
151
00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:50,506
It'll make the world
a better place.
152
00:07:50,573 --> 00:07:53,108
Uh, wait a minute,
153
00:07:53,176 --> 00:07:55,778
some greedy butthole
drank it all.
154
00:07:55,844 --> 00:07:58,314
You know, you know,
some people just don't care
155
00:07:58,381 --> 00:08:00,149
about others, you know?
It's sad.
156
00:08:01,617 --> 00:08:04,953
Oh, what happened
to the festive punch I made?
157
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:07,290
There was organic apple juice
in it and--
158
00:08:13,429 --> 00:08:14,830
Oh, my.
159
00:08:20,669 --> 00:08:23,706
Breakfast sucks.
160
00:08:23,772 --> 00:08:25,040
I mean, it's not
my favorite meal,
161
00:08:25,107 --> 00:08:28,577
but, um, I'd say
it's in my top three.
162
00:08:28,644 --> 00:08:30,713
* I don't wanna seem it ♪
163
00:08:32,281 --> 00:08:34,983
She needs, like,
more auto-tune on her voice.
164
00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:36,619
Yeah, I don't think
that's auto-tune, Butt-Head.
165
00:08:36,685 --> 00:08:39,422
That's just the way she sings.
I can do that.
166
00:08:39,488 --> 00:08:40,389
Yeah.
167
00:08:40,456 --> 00:08:42,124
Uh, really?
168
00:08:42,191 --> 00:08:44,059
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
anyone can do it.
169
00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:45,694
Yeah, yeah, check it out.
170
00:08:50,699 --> 00:08:52,368
See?
171
00:08:52,435 --> 00:08:54,870
Whoa.
How do you do that?
172
00:08:56,205 --> 00:08:57,673
You know, you just
sort of, like, um...
173
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,342
you just sort of do
an auto-tune thing, you know?
174
00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:00,476
You just kind of go like...
175
00:09:07,616 --> 00:09:09,485
Uh, hm.
176
00:09:09,552 --> 00:09:11,554
Let me try it.
177
00:09:18,093 --> 00:09:19,795
No, no, you're not
doing it right, Butt-Head.
178
00:09:19,862 --> 00:09:21,364
That sounded
as good as yours.
179
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:24,567
No, no, it didn't.
Sorry, Butt-Head, it didn't.
180
00:09:26,034 --> 00:09:27,970
Uh, yeah, it was.
Shut up, dumbass.
181
00:09:29,071 --> 00:09:30,273
I can show you how to do it.
182
00:09:30,339 --> 00:09:32,207
You just want to, like,
move your throat
183
00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:34,009
and, like, your lips
and your mouth
184
00:09:34,076 --> 00:09:36,779
and kind of change the notes
in the--
185
00:09:36,845 --> 00:09:39,315
well, like this.
Watch really close here, okay?
186
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,363
* This chick is pretty hot ♪
187
00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:01,136
Ooh, that was horrible,
Butt-head.
188
00:10:01,203 --> 00:10:02,505
Damn it, Beavis,
189
00:10:02,571 --> 00:10:04,573
I'm gonna auto-tune
the backside of your head.
190
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,642
* No, you won't ♪
191
00:10:10,279 --> 00:10:12,381
Whoa, that sounded
pretty good, Beavis.
192
00:10:12,448 --> 00:10:14,317
I'm gonna try it again.
193
00:10:14,383 --> 00:10:15,318
Ugh!
194
00:10:20,289 --> 00:10:22,658
The DDT gave them
massive brain damage.
195
00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:24,427
It's amazing
they have enough brain function
196
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,061
to still be alive.
197
00:10:26,128 --> 00:10:28,897
Actually, Doctor,
these scans are from before
198
00:10:28,964 --> 00:10:30,466
they drank the DDT.
199
00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:31,900
These boys
were here a month ago
200
00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:34,637
to have objects removed
from their nasal cavities.
201
00:10:34,703 --> 00:10:36,472
Uh, those were
army men, yeah.
202
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,508
They made
the ultimate sacrifice.
203
00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:43,712
Oh, then I guess
we're done here.
204
00:10:45,414 --> 00:10:47,650
Oh, boy.
205
00:10:47,716 --> 00:10:49,352
Nobody scored,
did they Butt-Head?
206
00:10:50,886 --> 00:10:52,788
No.
207
00:10:52,855 --> 00:10:54,323
But at least we learned
a lesson.
208
00:10:55,891 --> 00:10:58,060
That doing things
for other people sucks?
209
00:10:59,194 --> 00:11:01,964
Yep, but don't worry, Beavis.
210
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:04,600
We will never do it again
as long as we live.
211
00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:08,571
Amen, yeah.
212
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:39,835
Chirp.