1 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:06,640 * MTV ♪ 2 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,842 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,845 [rock music] 4 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:19,019 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,792 [tranquil music] 6 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,994 [ethereal shimmering] 7 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:30,631 Greetings, lowly mortals. I am Smart Butt-Head. 8 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,233 And I am Smart Beavis. 9 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,435 We speak to you from our newest purchase, 10 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,670 a beachfront property on your moon, 11 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,173 which we bought from a hot single in our area. 12 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:45,313 Um, Smart Butt-Head, I do not see the beach. 13 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,281 Hm. [device chimes] 14 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:50,718 And Melody1998 is not answering her communicator. 15 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,286 This is displeasing. 16 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,723 Hm, yes, yes, perhaps she is too lonely. 17 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,992 In the meantime, let us turn our eyes upon the Earth 18 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,495 and the most fascinating of all realities, 19 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,565 the alternate universe in which Beavis and Butt-Head 20 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,334 are in middle age. 21 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,569 Your puny brains cannot possibly understand 22 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,105 what you are about to see, but do your best 23 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,574 while we search for Melody1998. 24 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,909 Yes, yes, and the beach on the moon, yes. 25 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:20,114 ♪ ♪ 26 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,718 Um, Butt-Head, this couch has a spring sticking out 27 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:29,089 right next to my bunghole. - Uh, I don't care. 28 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:30,358 [chuckles] - Okay, yeah. 29 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,860 Yeah, that's pretty cool. [chuckles] 30 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:37,998 Ugh, boy, this beer is good today. 31 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,634 Likes me some beer. 32 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,903 [chuckles] Over here. 33 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,372 [chuckles] 34 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,240 Ah, that's what I'm talking about. 35 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,941 Yeah. 36 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:50,944 [chuckles] 37 00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,713 What the hell do you think you're doing, Beavis? 38 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,815 I'm gonna sit here from now on, Butt-Head. 39 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,218 [chuckles] - The hell you say? 40 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,587 Yes, I am. You go sit on the spring side. 41 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,555 Your butt's so big, you won't even notice. 42 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,090 [chuckles] 43 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,559 Okay, Beavis, I'll just wait for you to go take a whiz, 44 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,528 and then I'll take it back, dumbass. 45 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,829 [chuckles] 46 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,399 Nope, I'm not gonna take a whiz, never. 47 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,401 [chuckles] 48 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:19,173 Never gonna whiz. [chuckles] 49 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:25,346 - Have another beer, Beavis. - Don't mind if I do. 50 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,248 [chuckles] 51 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:31,084 Because I'm never gonna pee. [chuckles] 52 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:36,624 [grumbling] Ah. 53 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,827 Good morning, Beavis. How's your bladder? 54 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,462 [grunts] 55 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:44,632 Never felt better, yep. Just fine. 56 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,099 [chuckles] 57 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,869 [shivering and grumbling] 58 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:53,073 Look at the waterfall, Beavis, gently pouring down 59 00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,075 like pee coming out of a wiener. 60 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,845 - [shivering and grumbling] - [sighs] 61 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,348 Just let it go. - Ugh, ugh. 62 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,283 - [chuckles] - Damn it. 63 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:06,720 Don't need to take a whiz. Nope, no thank you. 64 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,155 [chuckles] 65 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:11,225 Hm, mm, yeah, hm, mm. 66 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:15,896 Beavis, it's been two days. I've peed 31 times. 67 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,331 Yeah, well, I tricked you, butthole! 68 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,100 I will never have to pee because when you were asleep, 69 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,003 I put a chip clip on my wiener! [chuckles] 70 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,305 Yeah, I win! 71 00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,440 I finally beat you at something, yeah! 72 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,408 [guts pop] 73 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:29,877 [screams] Ah, my kidneys! 74 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,712 [coughing] [screams] 75 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,454 Ah, that's better. [chuckles] 76 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,058 Both of this man's kidneys popped like balloons. 77 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,627 I've never seen anything like it. 78 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,796 If he doesn't get a transplant immediately, 79 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:49,863 he'll die. 80 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,699 [slurping] 81 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,635 Uh, okay. [chuckles] 82 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,508 What's your pain level on a scale of one to ten? 83 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,777 Ugh, oh... 84 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,079 69. 85 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,982 [both chuckle] 86 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,418 That's very high. 87 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,919 If we can't find a kidney donor match 88 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,288 for him soon, we're going to have to send him to hospice. 89 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,590 [groaning] [coughs] 90 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,392 Yes? 91 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,761 You said piss. [coughs] 92 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,863 - [chuckles] - Oh, ah. 93 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,300 That's right, buddy, I did. Hang in there. 94 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,701 Would you like to be tested 95 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,737 to see if you can donate your kidney to your friend? 96 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,739 Uh, no. 97 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,008 We found a match. 98 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,910 There's only one in the entire state, 99 00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:40,548 and, by God, we found him. - Is he willing to donate? 100 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,750 He drove himself two hours to get here, 101 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,686 and he says he wants to help Mr. Beavis any way he can. 102 00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:48,422 In fact, he says he knows the both of you. 103 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:52,092 Hey, guys, it's me Stewart. Remember me? 104 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,428 Uh, no. 105 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,631 Stewart, your best buddy from high school. 106 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,468 Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 107 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,936 That sucks. [chuckles] 108 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,372 [laughs] You guys. 109 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,540 The three amigos are back! 110 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,776 Jesus Christ, Stewart, not now. 111 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,378 I'm waiting for some guy both of us know 112 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,779 to give me a kidney. 113 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:15,115 - No, this is your donor. - [chuckles] 114 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,785 A part of Stewart is going inside you. 115 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,520 [chuckles] - Oh, no. 116 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,754 Oh. 117 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,159 [laughs] Oh, boy. 118 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,728 The three of us used to have some fun together, 119 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:30,931 didn't we? - Uh, no. 120 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,467 You know, I was worried about donating a kidney 121 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,236 'cause I'm still young, and I've got the triplets, 122 00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:39,973 but I'm gonna do it because we were such good friends. 123 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,709 [clears throat] [coughs] 124 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:45,212 Um, we weren't friends. [coughs weakly] 125 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,181 Aww, you guys. Nothing's changed. 126 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,651 Though I know if the situation were reversed, 127 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,353 you'd do it for me. - Wait, wait. 128 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,589 I don't have to do something for you, do I? 129 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:58,559 - Well, no. - Oh, good, good, good. 130 00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,093 That's better. [chuckles] 131 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,699 Beavis, if this is the last time I talk to you, 132 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,901 I want you to know... 133 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,638 I did your mom. [chuckles] 134 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,272 [grumbling] Yeah, yeah. 135 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:16,610 Um, Butt-Head, I don't want a part of Stewart in me. 136 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,513 Look at him. What if I start to suck? 137 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,815 [chuckles] I'm scared. 138 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,216 Hey, um, you know what? 139 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,985 I'm beginning to have second thoughts 140 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,754 about this whole-- - Okay, shh. 141 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,590 Count backwards from ten. - Hey, hey, um, um-- 142 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:31,091 [snores] 143 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,393 And now you count backwards from ten. 144 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:37,330 Ten, um, eight or something, 145 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:41,268 five, I don't know, W. 146 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,937 I am the great Cornholio. [chuckles] 147 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,474 TP. Yes, yes, TP. 148 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,908 ♪ ♪ 149 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,276 [Tyler, The Creator's "See You Again"] 150 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:50,578 * You live in my dream state ♪ 151 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,680 Um, is this Tyler, The Creator? 152 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,682 [chuckles] - Uh, yeah. 153 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,216 [chuckles] 154 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,785 I mean, he's cool and everything, 155 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,320 but, um, he kind of needs a better name, you know? 156 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,889 [chuckles] 157 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,057 If I was gonna be one of these guys, 158 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:07,127 I'd be, like, Butt-Head, The Scorer. 159 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,029 [both chuckling] 160 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,832 I'd be Beavis, The Mutilator. Yeah. 161 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,200 [chuckles] 162 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,803 You'd be Beavis, The Monkey Spanker. 163 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,205 [chuckles] 164 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,540 I guess it has a nice ring to it. 165 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:20,941 [chuckles] 166 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,843 It's not my first choice, you know, but, uh... 167 00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,278 * Can I get a kiss? ♪ 168 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,147 ♪ And can you make it last forever? ♪ 169 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:30,317 If I was stranded on a lifeboat with that girl, 170 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:34,087 I'd be like, "Hey, baby, you ever do it on a boat 171 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,557 with three dudes in raincoats masturbating?" 172 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,593 [laughs] 173 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:43,296 Yeah, make that four. [giggles] 174 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,332 Damn it, Beavis. [chuckles] 175 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,467 You're messing up my flow again. 176 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,402 * Okay, okay, okay, okay dokey ♪ 177 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,472 What country's army is this? [chuckles] 178 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,341 I think it's, like, Europe. 179 00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,644 [chuckles] 180 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,613 Tyler, The Creator's gonna overthrow America. 181 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,314 [chuckles] 182 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,551 Yeah, I think he should overthrow America, you know? 183 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,319 Because he's got a lot of good ideas, you know, 184 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,956 and he's not like these other politicians, you know? 185 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,924 He tells it like it is, you know? 186 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,460 And he's concerned about my tax dollars, 187 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,797 and he says all the things that everyone else is afraid 188 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,532 to say, you know? [chuckles] 189 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:21,769 Whoa, he's stepping on the army's heads. 190 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,936 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 191 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,437 All these politicians, 192 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,339 they don't have the guts to step on people's heads. 193 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,543 And all these fat cats in Washington 194 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:33,681 and these companies in bed with the corporations 195 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,850 and the councils of representatives. 196 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,752 [chuckles] 197 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,087 He's in bed with chicks. 198 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,655 Yeah. [chuckles] 199 00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,123 Yeah. [chuckles] 200 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,293 He'll drain the swamp. 201 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,796 Yeah, then he'll drain the main vein. 202 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,497 [chuckles] 203 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,199 See, he's just like us. 204 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,968 He puts on a Charlie Brown ghost outfit, you know? 205 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,237 And see, now he's turning into bees, 206 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,471 you know? Just like us. 207 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,707 [chuckles] 208 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:03,243 Like a working man do. [chuckles] 209 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,779 Uh, so you'd vote for this guy? 210 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,480 No, no, no. 211 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,983 No, I'm not gonna vote. No, no. 212 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,285 It seems like a big hassle, you know? 213 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,921 You know, I always say... [chuckles] 214 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,789 "Don't blame me, I didn't vote." 215 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,124 [chuckles] 216 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,860 I don't know why I was so worried. 217 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:23,396 The operation was a success, and now we're not just friends. 218 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,399 We're blood brothers. - This sucks. 219 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:29,402 I think that's worth a little dialysis here and there, huh? 220 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,238 I would toast to the three amigos, 221 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,040 but Beavis and I can't have alcohol 222 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,975 because of our kidney, so Butt-head, 223 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,110 you'll have to have an extra glass for us. 224 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,046 [chuckles - Oh, God. 225 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,948 Anyway, after I left Highland, 226 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,116 I kind of bounced around for, like, six years, 227 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,451 but now I'm doing great. 228 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,953 You are looking at junior administrator 229 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,921 at Basco Mortgage. You guys heard of it? 230 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,222 Mm-hmm, yeah. 231 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,291 Well, next time you want to buy a house, 232 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,860 I can get you half a point below prime. 233 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,027 [bottle pops] 234 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,328 I mean, I gotta ask Mr. Basco first, 235 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,930 but he's cool. He totally-- 236 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,332 Uh, yeah, no. No, no, no, no. 237 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:02,002 Amigo, oh, uh, hey, you can't do that, Beavis. 238 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,837 The alcohol will mess up my-- hey, stop it. 239 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,639 That's my kidney in there. 240 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,807 [sighs] Yeah. 241 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,709 [guts pop] Ow! 242 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,077 Finally. [chuckles] 243 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,813 That kidney sucked. [chuckles] 244 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,215 Well, here you go. 245 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,284 I don't need this chip clip anymore. 246 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,618 [sighs] 247 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:21,021 - That was my kidney. - Your organ blew up. 248 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,455 [both chuckling] 249 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,292 - Yeah. - Uh, another bottle, sir. 250 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,860 The guy who sucks is paying. 251 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,528 Yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 252 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,164 Hey, Stewart, do you know anyone cool who has a kidney? 253 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,534 [rock music]