1 00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:06,645 - * MTV * 2 00:00:06,712 --> 00:00:08,847 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:08,914 --> 00:00:11,850 [rock music] 4 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:19,024 * * 5 00:00:23,129 --> 00:00:24,797 [tranquil music] 6 00:00:24,863 --> 00:00:26,999 [ethereal shimmering] 7 00:00:27,066 --> 00:00:30,636 - Greetings, lowly mortals. I am Smart Butt-Head. 8 00:00:30,703 --> 00:00:32,237 - And I am Smart Beavis. 9 00:00:32,304 --> 00:00:34,440 - We speak to you from our newest purchase, 10 00:00:34,507 --> 00:00:36,675 a beachfront property on your moon, 11 00:00:36,742 --> 00:00:39,178 which we bought from a hot single in our area. 12 00:00:42,014 --> 00:00:45,318 - Um, Smart Butt-Head, I do not see the beach. 13 00:00:45,384 --> 00:00:47,286 - Hm. [device chimes] 14 00:00:47,353 --> 00:00:50,723 And Melody1998 is not answering her communicator. 15 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,291 This is displeasing. 16 00:00:52,358 --> 00:00:55,728 - Hm, yes, yes, perhaps she is too lonely. 17 00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:58,997 In the meantime, let us turn our eyes upon the Earth 18 00:00:59,064 --> 00:01:01,500 and the most fascinating of all realities, 19 00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:04,570 the alternate universe in which Beavis and Butt-Head 20 00:01:04,637 --> 00:01:06,339 are in middle age. 21 00:01:06,405 --> 00:01:08,574 - Your puny brains cannot possibly understand 22 00:01:08,641 --> 00:01:11,110 what you are about to see, but do your best 23 00:01:11,177 --> 00:01:13,579 while we search for Melody1998. 24 00:01:13,646 --> 00:01:15,914 - Yes, yes, and the beach on the moon, yes. 25 00:01:15,981 --> 00:01:20,119 * * 26 00:01:22,121 --> 00:01:24,723 - Um, Butt-Head, this couch has a spring sticking out 27 00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:29,094 right next to my bunghole. - Uh, I don't care. 28 00:01:29,162 --> 00:01:30,363 [chuckles] - Okay, yeah. 29 00:01:30,429 --> 00:01:32,865 Yeah, that's pretty cool. [chuckles] 30 00:01:32,931 --> 00:01:38,002 - Ugh, boy, this beer is good today. 31 00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:40,639 Likes me some beer. 32 00:01:40,706 --> 00:01:42,907 - [chuckles] Over here. 33 00:01:42,975 --> 00:01:44,377 [chuckles] 34 00:01:44,443 --> 00:01:46,245 Ah, that's what I'm talking about. 35 00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:47,946 Yeah. [chuckles] 36 00:01:49,582 --> 00:01:50,949 [chuckles] 37 00:01:51,016 --> 00:01:52,718 - What the hell do you think you're doing, Beavis? 38 00:01:52,785 --> 00:01:54,820 - I'm gonna sit here from now on, Butt-Head. 39 00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:57,223 [chuckles] - The hell you say? 40 00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:59,592 - Yes, I am. You go sit on the spring side. 41 00:01:59,657 --> 00:02:01,560 Your butt's so big, you won't even notice. 42 00:02:01,627 --> 00:02:03,095 [chuckles] 43 00:02:03,162 --> 00:02:05,564 - Okay, Beavis, I'll just wait for you to go take a whiz, 44 00:02:05,631 --> 00:02:07,533 and then I'll take it back, dumbass. 45 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:08,834 [chuckles] 46 00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:11,404 - Nope, I'm not gonna take a whiz, never. 47 00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:13,406 [chuckles] 48 00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:19,178 Never gonna whiz. [chuckles] 49 00:02:22,248 --> 00:02:25,351 - Have another beer, Beavis. - Don't mind if I do. 50 00:02:25,418 --> 00:02:27,253 [chuckles] 51 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:31,089 Because I'm never gonna pee. [chuckles] 52 00:02:33,226 --> 00:02:36,629 [grumbling] Ah. 53 00:02:36,695 --> 00:02:39,832 - Good morning, Beavis. How's your bladder? 54 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,467 - [grunts] 55 00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:44,637 Never felt better, yep. Just fine. 56 00:02:44,703 --> 00:02:46,104 [chuckles] 57 00:02:47,206 --> 00:02:48,874 [shivering and grumbling] 58 00:02:48,941 --> 00:02:53,078 - Look at the waterfall, Beavis, gently pouring down 59 00:02:53,145 --> 00:02:55,080 like pee coming out of a wiener. 60 00:02:55,147 --> 00:02:57,850 - [shivering and grumbling] - [sighs] 61 00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,353 Just let it go. - Ugh, ugh. 62 00:03:00,419 --> 00:03:02,288 - [chuckles] - Damn it. 63 00:03:02,355 --> 00:03:06,725 Don't need to take a whiz. Nope, no thank you. 64 00:03:06,792 --> 00:03:08,160 [chuckles] 65 00:03:08,227 --> 00:03:11,230 Hm, mm, yeah, hm, mm. 66 00:03:11,297 --> 00:03:15,901 - Beavis, it's been two days. I've peed 31 times. 67 00:03:15,968 --> 00:03:17,336 - Yeah, well, I tricked you, butthole! 68 00:03:17,403 --> 00:03:20,105 I will never have to pee because when you were asleep, 69 00:03:20,172 --> 00:03:23,008 I put a chip clip on my wiener! [chuckles] 70 00:03:23,075 --> 00:03:24,310 Yeah, I win! 71 00:03:24,377 --> 00:03:26,445 I finally beat you at something, yeah! 72 00:03:26,512 --> 00:03:27,413 [guts pop] 73 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,882 [screams] Ah, my kidneys! 74 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,717 [coughing] [screams] 75 00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:40,459 - Ah, that's better. [chuckles] 76 00:03:42,928 --> 00:03:45,063 - Both of this man's kidneys popped like balloons. 77 00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:46,632 I've never seen anything like it. 78 00:03:46,699 --> 00:03:48,801 If he doesn't get a transplant immediately, 79 00:03:48,867 --> 00:03:49,868 he'll die. 80 00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:51,704 - [slurping] 81 00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:54,640 Uh, okay. [chuckles] 82 00:03:57,843 --> 00:04:00,513 - What's your pain level on a scale of one to ten? 83 00:04:00,579 --> 00:04:03,782 - Ugh, oh... 84 00:04:03,849 --> 00:04:06,084 69. 85 00:04:06,151 --> 00:04:08,987 [both chuckle] 86 00:04:09,054 --> 00:04:10,423 - That's very high. 87 00:04:10,489 --> 00:04:11,924 If we can't find a kidney donor match 88 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,293 for him soon, we're going to have to send him to hospice. 89 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,594 - [groaning] [coughs] 90 00:04:16,661 --> 00:04:18,397 - Yes? 91 00:04:18,464 --> 00:04:20,766 - You said piss. [coughs] 92 00:04:20,832 --> 00:04:22,868 - [chuckles] - Oh, ah. 93 00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:26,305 - That's right, buddy, I did. Hang in there. 94 00:04:26,372 --> 00:04:27,706 - Would you like to be tested 95 00:04:27,773 --> 00:04:29,742 to see if you can donate your kidney to your friend? 96 00:04:29,808 --> 00:04:31,744 - Uh, no. 97 00:04:33,846 --> 00:04:35,013 - We found a match. 98 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,914 There's only one in the entire state, 99 00:04:36,982 --> 00:04:40,553 and, by God, we found him. - Is he willing to donate? 100 00:04:40,619 --> 00:04:42,755 - He drove himself two hours to get here, 101 00:04:42,821 --> 00:04:45,691 and he says he wants to help Mr. Beavis any way he can. 102 00:04:45,758 --> 00:04:48,427 In fact, he says he knows the both of you. 103 00:04:48,494 --> 00:04:52,097 - Hey, guys, it's me Stewart. Remember me? 104 00:04:52,164 --> 00:04:54,433 - Uh, no. 105 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,636 - Stewart, your best buddy from high school. 106 00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:00,473 - Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 107 00:05:00,539 --> 00:05:02,941 That sucks. [chuckles] 108 00:05:03,008 --> 00:05:04,377 - [laughs] You guys. 109 00:05:04,443 --> 00:05:06,545 The three amigos are back! 110 00:05:06,612 --> 00:05:08,781 - Jesus Christ, Stewart, not now. 111 00:05:08,847 --> 00:05:10,383 I'm waiting for some guy both of us know 112 00:05:10,449 --> 00:05:11,784 to give me a kidney. 113 00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:15,120 - No, this is your donor. - [chuckles] 114 00:05:15,187 --> 00:05:17,790 A part of Stewart is going inside you. 115 00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:19,525 [chuckles] - Oh, no. 116 00:05:19,592 --> 00:05:20,759 Oh. 117 00:05:24,830 --> 00:05:26,164 - [laughs] Oh, boy. 118 00:05:26,231 --> 00:05:27,733 The three of us used to have some fun together, 119 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,936 didn't we? - Uh, no. 120 00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:33,472 - You know, I was worried about donating a kidney 121 00:05:33,539 --> 00:05:36,241 'cause I'm still young, and I've got the triplets, 122 00:05:36,308 --> 00:05:39,978 but I'm gonna do it because we were such good friends. 123 00:05:40,045 --> 00:05:41,714 - [clears throat] [coughs] 124 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:45,217 Um, we weren't friends. [coughs weakly] 125 00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:48,186 - Aww, you guys. Nothing's changed. 126 00:05:48,253 --> 00:05:50,656 Though I know if the situation were reversed, 127 00:05:50,723 --> 00:05:53,358 you'd do it for me. - Wait, wait. 128 00:05:53,426 --> 00:05:55,594 I don't have to do something for you, do I? 129 00:05:55,661 --> 00:05:58,563 - Well, no. - Oh, good, good, good. 130 00:05:58,631 --> 00:06:00,098 That's better. [chuckles] 131 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:05,704 - Beavis, if this is the last time I talk to you, 132 00:06:05,771 --> 00:06:07,906 I want you to know... 133 00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:10,643 I did your mom. [chuckles] 134 00:06:10,709 --> 00:06:12,277 - [grumbling] Yeah, yeah. 135 00:06:12,344 --> 00:06:16,615 Um, Butt-Head, I don't want a part of Stewart in me. 136 00:06:16,682 --> 00:06:19,518 Look at him. What if I start to suck? 137 00:06:19,585 --> 00:06:21,820 [chuckles] I'm scared. 138 00:06:21,887 --> 00:06:23,221 - Hey, um, you know what? 139 00:06:23,288 --> 00:06:24,990 I'm beginning to have second thoughts 140 00:06:25,057 --> 00:06:26,759 about this whole-- - Okay, shh. 141 00:06:26,825 --> 00:06:29,595 Count backwards from ten. - Hey, hey, um, um-- 142 00:06:29,662 --> 00:06:31,096 [snores] 143 00:06:31,163 --> 00:06:33,398 - And now you count backwards from ten. 144 00:06:33,466 --> 00:06:37,335 - Ten, um, eight or something, 145 00:06:37,402 --> 00:06:41,273 five, I don't know, W. 146 00:06:41,339 --> 00:06:43,942 I am the great Cornholio. [chuckles] 147 00:06:44,009 --> 00:06:46,479 TP. Yes, yes, TP. 148 00:06:46,545 --> 00:06:47,913 * * 149 00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:49,281 [Tyler, The Creator's "See You Again"] 150 00:06:49,347 --> 00:06:50,583 - * You live in my dream state * 151 00:06:50,649 --> 00:06:52,685 - Um, is this Tyler, The Creator? 152 00:06:52,751 --> 00:06:54,687 [chuckles] - Uh, yeah. 153 00:06:54,753 --> 00:06:56,221 [chuckles] 154 00:06:56,288 --> 00:06:57,789 - I mean, he's cool and everything, 155 00:06:57,856 --> 00:07:00,325 but, um, he kind of needs a better name, you know? 156 00:07:00,392 --> 00:07:01,894 [chuckles] 157 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,062 - If I was gonna be one of these guys, 158 00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:07,132 I'd be, like, Butt-Head, The Scorer. 159 00:07:07,199 --> 00:07:09,034 [both chuckling] 160 00:07:09,101 --> 00:07:11,837 - I'd be Beavis, The Mutilator. Yeah. 161 00:07:11,904 --> 00:07:13,205 [chuckles] 162 00:07:13,271 --> 00:07:15,808 - You'd be Beavis, The Monkey Spanker. 163 00:07:15,874 --> 00:07:18,210 [chuckles] 164 00:07:18,276 --> 00:07:19,545 - I guess it has a nice ring to it. 165 00:07:19,612 --> 00:07:20,946 [chuckles] 166 00:07:21,013 --> 00:07:22,848 It's not my first choice, you know, but, uh... 167 00:07:22,915 --> 00:07:25,283 - * Can I get a kiss? * 168 00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:27,152 * And can you make it last forever? * 169 00:07:27,219 --> 00:07:30,322 - If I was stranded on a lifeboat with that girl, 170 00:07:30,388 --> 00:07:34,092 I'd be like, "Hey, baby, you ever do it on a boat 171 00:07:34,159 --> 00:07:36,562 with three dudes in raincoats masturbating?" 172 00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:39,598 [laughs] 173 00:07:39,664 --> 00:07:43,301 - Yeah, make that four. [giggles] 174 00:07:43,368 --> 00:07:45,337 - Damn it, Beavis. [chuckles] 175 00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:47,472 You're messing up my flow again. 176 00:07:47,539 --> 00:07:49,407 - * Okay, okay, okay, okay dokey * 177 00:07:49,474 --> 00:07:52,477 - What country's army is this? [chuckles] 178 00:07:52,545 --> 00:07:54,346 - I think it's, like, Europe. 179 00:07:54,412 --> 00:07:56,649 [chuckles] 180 00:07:56,715 --> 00:07:59,618 Tyler, The Creator's gonna overthrow America. 181 00:07:59,685 --> 00:08:01,319 [chuckles] 182 00:08:01,386 --> 00:08:03,556 - Yeah, I think he should overthrow America, you know? 183 00:08:03,622 --> 00:08:06,324 Because he's got a lot of good ideas, you know, 184 00:08:06,391 --> 00:08:08,961 and he's not like these other politicians, you know? 185 00:08:09,027 --> 00:08:10,929 He tells it like it is, you know? 186 00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:13,465 And he's concerned about my tax dollars, 187 00:08:13,532 --> 00:08:16,802 and he says all the things that everyone else is afraid 188 00:08:16,869 --> 00:08:18,537 to say, you know? [chuckles] 189 00:08:18,604 --> 00:08:21,774 - Whoa, he's stepping on the army's heads. 190 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:22,941 - Yeah, yeah, exactly. 191 00:08:23,008 --> 00:08:24,442 All these politicians, 192 00:08:24,509 --> 00:08:26,344 they don't have the guts to step on people's heads. 193 00:08:26,411 --> 00:08:29,548 And all these fat cats in Washington 194 00:08:29,615 --> 00:08:33,686 and these companies in bed with the corporations 195 00:08:33,751 --> 00:08:36,855 and the councils of representatives. 196 00:08:36,922 --> 00:08:38,756 [chuckles] 197 00:08:38,823 --> 00:08:40,092 He's in bed with chicks. 198 00:08:40,158 --> 00:08:41,660 Yeah. [chuckles] 199 00:08:41,727 --> 00:08:43,128 - Yeah. [chuckles] 200 00:08:43,195 --> 00:08:46,298 He'll drain the swamp. 201 00:08:46,364 --> 00:08:48,801 - Yeah, then he'll drain the main vein. 202 00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:50,502 [chuckles] 203 00:08:50,569 --> 00:08:52,204 See, he's just like us. 204 00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,973 He puts on a Charlie Brown ghost outfit, you know? 205 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,242 And see, now he's turning into bees, 206 00:08:57,309 --> 00:08:58,476 you know? Just like us. 207 00:08:58,543 --> 00:08:59,712 [chuckles] 208 00:08:59,778 --> 00:09:03,248 Like a working man do. [chuckles] 209 00:09:03,315 --> 00:09:05,784 - Uh, so you'd vote for this guy? 210 00:09:05,851 --> 00:09:07,485 - No, no, no. 211 00:09:07,552 --> 00:09:09,988 No, I'm not gonna vote. No, no. 212 00:09:10,055 --> 00:09:12,290 It seems like a big hassle, you know? 213 00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:13,926 You know, I always say... [chuckles] 214 00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:15,794 "Don't blame me, I didn't vote." 215 00:09:15,861 --> 00:09:17,129 [chuckles] 216 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,865 - I don't know why I was so worried. 217 00:09:19,932 --> 00:09:23,401 The operation was a success, and now we're not just friends. 218 00:09:23,468 --> 00:09:26,404 We're blood brothers. - This sucks. 219 00:09:26,471 --> 00:09:29,407 - I think that's worth a little dialysis here and there, huh? 220 00:09:29,474 --> 00:09:31,243 I would toast to the three amigos, 221 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,045 but Beavis and I can't have alcohol 222 00:09:33,111 --> 00:09:34,980 because of our kidney, so Butt-head, 223 00:09:35,047 --> 00:09:37,115 you'll have to have an extra glass for us. 224 00:09:37,182 --> 00:09:39,051 [chuckles - Oh, God. 225 00:09:39,117 --> 00:09:40,953 - Anyway, after I left Highland, 226 00:09:41,019 --> 00:09:43,121 I kind of bounced around for, like, six years, 227 00:09:43,188 --> 00:09:44,456 but now I'm doing great. 228 00:09:44,522 --> 00:09:45,958 You are looking at junior administrator 229 00:09:46,024 --> 00:09:47,926 at Basco Mortgage. You guys heard of it? 230 00:09:47,993 --> 00:09:49,227 - Mm-hmm, yeah. 231 00:09:49,294 --> 00:09:51,295 - Well, next time you want to buy a house, 232 00:09:51,363 --> 00:09:52,865 I can get you half a point below prime. 233 00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:54,032 [bottle pops] 234 00:09:54,099 --> 00:09:55,333 I mean, I gotta ask Mr. Basco first, 235 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,935 but he's cool. He totally-- 236 00:09:57,002 --> 00:09:59,337 Uh, yeah, no. No, no, no, no. 237 00:09:59,404 --> 00:10:02,007 Amigo, oh, uh, hey, you can't do that, Beavis. 238 00:10:02,074 --> 00:10:03,842 The alcohol will mess up my-- hey, stop it. 239 00:10:03,909 --> 00:10:05,644 That's my kidney in there. 240 00:10:05,711 --> 00:10:06,812 - [sighs] Yeah. 241 00:10:06,879 --> 00:10:08,714 [guts pop] Ow! 242 00:10:08,781 --> 00:10:10,082 Finally. [chuckles] 243 00:10:10,148 --> 00:10:12,818 That kidney sucked. [chuckles] 244 00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:15,220 Well, here you go. 245 00:10:15,287 --> 00:10:17,289 I don't need this chip clip anymore. 246 00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:18,623 [sighs] 247 00:10:18,691 --> 00:10:21,026 - That was my kidney. - Your organ blew up. 248 00:10:21,093 --> 00:10:22,460 [both chuckling] 249 00:10:22,527 --> 00:10:25,297 - Yeah. - Uh, another bottle, sir. 250 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:26,865 The guy who sucks is paying. 251 00:10:26,932 --> 00:10:28,533 - Yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 252 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,169 Hey, Stewart, do you know anyone cool who has a kidney? 253 00:10:31,236 --> 00:10:34,539 [rock music] 254 00:10:39,311 --> 00:10:42,247 [rock music] 255 00:10:42,314 --> 00:10:45,183 * * 256 00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:46,418 [bell rings] 257 00:10:46,484 --> 00:10:48,586 - Well, I hope to see everyone tonight 258 00:10:48,653 --> 00:10:50,155 at the school dance. 259 00:10:50,222 --> 00:10:52,224 The Dance Committee worked really hard 260 00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:55,761 decorating the gym, okay? 261 00:10:55,828 --> 00:10:57,830 - Hey, are you dorks going to the dance? 262 00:10:57,896 --> 00:11:00,532 - Uh, no. [chuckles] 263 00:11:00,598 --> 00:11:02,935 We're gonna drink beer and kick some ass. 264 00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:04,369 [chuckles] 265 00:11:04,436 --> 00:11:07,105 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, drinking beer and kicking ass. 266 00:11:07,172 --> 00:11:09,041 Yeah. [chuckles] 267 00:11:12,577 --> 00:11:15,047 Um, Butt-Head, we don't have any beer. 268 00:11:17,515 --> 00:11:19,785 We don't have any ass either. 269 00:11:19,852 --> 00:11:21,586 - Go kick that grasshopper's ass 270 00:11:21,653 --> 00:11:23,221 while I figure out how to get some beer. 271 00:11:23,288 --> 00:11:24,456 [chuckles] 272 00:11:24,522 --> 00:11:26,358 - Okay, um... [chuckles] 273 00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:27,960 Let's see, um... 274 00:11:28,026 --> 00:11:30,896 which part is his ass? Okay, here we go. 275 00:11:30,963 --> 00:11:31,764 [grunts] 276 00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:32,798 [grasshopper buzzing] 277 00:11:32,865 --> 00:11:35,768 [screaming] Butt-Head, help! 278 00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:39,137 - You got some insect pests in your lot there, do you? 279 00:11:39,204 --> 00:11:43,241 - Uh, can you, like, shut up? [chuckles] 280 00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:45,878 Beavis is trying to kick this bug's ass. 281 00:11:45,944 --> 00:11:48,446 - Well, that's not gonna get rid of 'em. 282 00:11:48,513 --> 00:11:52,050 You need some pesticide. Here, follow me. 283 00:11:52,117 --> 00:11:55,620 Yeah, the American pesticides don't work anymore 284 00:11:55,687 --> 00:11:59,224 because of the goddamn hippie environmentalists, 285 00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:00,926 so I drove down to Mexico 286 00:12:00,993 --> 00:12:04,162 and got some good, old fashioned DDT. 287 00:12:04,229 --> 00:12:06,899 It's getting so Mexico is the only place 288 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:09,334 you can be an American anymore. 289 00:12:09,401 --> 00:12:13,605 Yeah, just don't touch it now. It's real poisonous. 290 00:12:14,739 --> 00:12:17,175 - [chuckles] What is that stuff? 291 00:12:17,242 --> 00:12:19,244 - Uh, well, let's see. 292 00:12:19,311 --> 00:12:24,883 That says something in Spanish. Uh, and that's a fly. 293 00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:28,253 Whoa, Spanish, fly. 294 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,889 This is Spanish fly. 295 00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:33,591 - Um, and what's that? [chuckles] 296 00:12:33,658 --> 00:12:36,461 - That's, like, a "after-disiac" 297 00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:37,830 [chuckles] 298 00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:39,597 It, like, makes people who want to drink it 299 00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:41,533 want to score. [chuckles] 300 00:12:41,599 --> 00:12:43,969 - Yeah, but I already want to score. 301 00:12:44,036 --> 00:12:45,170 [chuckles] 302 00:12:45,237 --> 00:12:46,939 - So do I, Beavis, but wouldn't it be 303 00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:49,174 a better world if everyone was like us? 304 00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:50,408 [chuckles] 305 00:12:50,475 --> 00:12:52,744 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, then everyone 306 00:12:52,811 --> 00:12:54,579 would be scoring all the time. 307 00:12:54,646 --> 00:12:56,048 Yeah. [chuckles] 308 00:12:56,114 --> 00:12:59,117 - Beavis, we could make the world a better place. 309 00:13:00,452 --> 00:13:02,520 [metal barrel thuds] 310 00:13:02,587 --> 00:13:05,991 - Those are two good boys out there, I tell you what. 311 00:13:06,058 --> 00:13:09,127 Not like those other two who live around here, 312 00:13:09,194 --> 00:13:10,528 Travis and Burt. 313 00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:12,430 - Mm-hmm. 314 00:13:12,497 --> 00:13:14,099 - This is gonna be cool. 315 00:13:15,733 --> 00:13:18,103 - Before we set off on our journey, 316 00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:21,473 let's relax and get comfortable. 317 00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,708 You may notice your breath. 318 00:13:23,775 --> 00:13:26,778 - You may notice your breath. [chuckles] 319 00:13:26,845 --> 00:13:30,782 Boy, this guy is a creepy perv. [chuckles] 320 00:13:30,849 --> 00:13:33,118 - You may notice your head and neck 321 00:13:33,185 --> 00:13:34,887 relaxing onto your pillow... 322 00:13:34,953 --> 00:13:36,388 - You may notice yourself 323 00:13:36,454 --> 00:13:39,757 watching a horrible, boring video that sucks. 324 00:13:39,824 --> 00:13:41,894 This reminds me of that pervy guy 325 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,696 at the model train store that always takes you camping. 326 00:13:44,762 --> 00:13:47,165 - Shut up, Butt-Head. He's not pervy. 327 00:13:47,232 --> 00:13:48,333 - [chuckles] 328 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,368 And you may not notice my hands 329 00:13:50,435 --> 00:13:52,404 even getting lower. [chuckles] 330 00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:53,939 - Shut up, Butt-Head. 331 00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:56,141 He's just a little handsy. [chuckles] 332 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:57,809 You know, he just likes to sniff hair 333 00:13:57,876 --> 00:13:59,311 and rub shoulders and stuff like that, you know. 334 00:13:59,377 --> 00:14:00,612 [chuckles] 335 00:14:00,678 --> 00:14:02,547 - This evening on the way to sleep, 336 00:14:02,614 --> 00:14:05,717 we'll be travelling from Rouen to Evreux. 337 00:14:05,783 --> 00:14:08,420 - We'll be traveling from "rugh" to "abugh" 338 00:14:08,486 --> 00:14:10,822 [chuckles] 339 00:14:10,889 --> 00:14:11,924 - Yeah, and we'll be stopping off 340 00:14:11,990 --> 00:14:14,192 at "bleugh-ugh"... [chuckles] 341 00:14:14,259 --> 00:14:16,228 To use the bathroom and have a shake or something. 342 00:14:16,294 --> 00:14:18,096 [chuckles] 343 00:14:18,163 --> 00:14:20,999 What language is that? [chuckles] 344 00:14:21,066 --> 00:14:23,768 - Uh, I think it's, like, French. 345 00:14:23,835 --> 00:14:25,537 - Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 346 00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,605 - I think, to speak French, you have to, like, 347 00:14:27,672 --> 00:14:29,942 drink a bunch of milk and get all this, like, 348 00:14:30,008 --> 00:14:32,277 phlegm in your throat so you can start going 349 00:14:32,344 --> 00:14:35,247 [uttering throaty nonsense syllables] 350 00:14:35,313 --> 00:14:36,648 - [chuckles] Yeah, yeah. 351 00:14:36,714 --> 00:14:39,751 [uttering throaty nonsense syllables] 352 00:14:43,388 --> 00:14:45,123 - Whoa, that's pretty good, Beavis. 353 00:14:45,190 --> 00:14:47,359 Where did you learn to do that? [chuckles] 354 00:14:47,425 --> 00:14:49,827 - Um, my grandpa used to speak French 355 00:14:49,894 --> 00:14:51,029 when he got up in the morning. 356 00:14:51,096 --> 00:14:54,166 He'd be like... [coughing] 357 00:14:58,570 --> 00:15:00,805 And also, like, once a week when he was locked 358 00:15:00,872 --> 00:15:03,208 in the room with Grandma. 359 00:15:03,275 --> 00:15:04,576 [grunting] 360 00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,778 Ooh, ah, ooh. [coughs] 361 00:15:06,844 --> 00:15:10,215 Bleh, bleh, ugh, ugh! 362 00:15:10,282 --> 00:15:12,284 - Uh, so what does that mean? 363 00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:15,954 - I think he was saying, like, "This sucks" or something. 364 00:15:16,021 --> 00:15:19,157 [both chuckling] 365 00:15:20,492 --> 00:15:23,428 [both chuckling] 366 00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:28,733 - Spanish fly is cool. [chuckles] 367 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,902 - [chuckles] - [grunts] 368 00:15:30,969 --> 00:15:32,604 - [chuckles] 369 00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:36,474 [both grunting] 370 00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:38,610 - I think it, like, melted my shoe or something. 371 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:41,379 - You won't need that shoe when you score, Beavis. 372 00:15:41,446 --> 00:15:43,781 - Yeah, everyone in the school is gonna drink this stuff, 373 00:15:43,848 --> 00:15:45,750 and then everyone is gonna score. 374 00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:47,319 [chuckles] Yeah. 375 00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:51,956 - Shoes will become a thing of the past. 376 00:15:52,024 --> 00:15:55,227 - Yeah, yeah, and pants too. [chuckles] 377 00:15:55,293 --> 00:15:58,130 - They will call us heroes. [chuckles] 378 00:15:58,196 --> 00:16:00,865 - You know, Butt-Head, I just wanna say, um, 379 00:16:00,932 --> 00:16:03,235 it feels really good to do something nice 380 00:16:03,301 --> 00:16:05,337 for other people. You know what I mean? 381 00:16:05,403 --> 00:16:07,572 Now let's give it a little flavor here. 382 00:16:07,639 --> 00:16:10,642 [punch hisses] 383 00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,710 Huh. [chuckles] 384 00:16:12,777 --> 00:16:14,979 Where'd it go? 385 00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:17,882 Um, I think my foot is bleeding. 386 00:16:17,949 --> 00:16:19,351 [pop music] 387 00:16:19,417 --> 00:16:21,553 - Just look at all those people, Beavis. 388 00:16:21,619 --> 00:16:24,689 They have no idea that tonight they shall score. 389 00:16:24,756 --> 00:16:26,324 [chuckles] 390 00:16:26,391 --> 00:16:29,327 This is the most nicest thing we have ever done. 391 00:16:29,394 --> 00:16:31,563 - I don't even need anyone to thank us, yeah. 392 00:16:31,629 --> 00:16:32,697 [chuckles] 393 00:16:32,764 --> 00:16:34,266 Just feels good to do it, you know? 394 00:16:34,332 --> 00:16:37,102 [chuckles] - That's right, Beavis. 395 00:16:37,169 --> 00:16:38,670 Everyone having sex with each other 396 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,073 right here in the gym will be its own reward. 397 00:16:41,139 --> 00:16:43,975 - Yeah, yeah, this is the true meaning of Christmas. 398 00:16:44,042 --> 00:16:45,977 Yeah. [chuckles] 399 00:16:46,044 --> 00:16:48,545 Yeah. [chuckling] 400 00:16:48,613 --> 00:16:51,616 Um, Butt-Head, do you think it might run out later, 401 00:16:51,683 --> 00:16:54,752 and then we don't get any, and then we don't get to score? 402 00:16:54,819 --> 00:16:58,423 - Uh, I don't know. [chuckles] 403 00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:00,858 I'm gonna have a little now just in case. 404 00:17:03,728 --> 00:17:06,297 [coughs] Ugh. 405 00:17:06,363 --> 00:17:08,933 - Good idea. [chuckles] 406 00:17:08,999 --> 00:17:10,068 [coughing] Ooh! 407 00:17:10,135 --> 00:17:11,402 [clears throat] 408 00:17:11,469 --> 00:17:14,839 Um, Butt-Head, it doesn't taste very good. 409 00:17:14,906 --> 00:17:17,441 - That's the taste of scoring, dumbass, 410 00:17:17,508 --> 00:17:18,843 and if you don't like it, 411 00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:21,446 then maybe scoring's not for you. 412 00:17:21,513 --> 00:17:22,847 [coughs] Ugh! 413 00:17:22,914 --> 00:17:23,981 - No. [coughs] 414 00:17:24,047 --> 00:17:26,251 No, I like it. It tastes good. 415 00:17:26,318 --> 00:17:27,852 I think it was just that damn orange 416 00:17:27,919 --> 00:17:30,322 I put in there. [coughs] 417 00:17:30,388 --> 00:17:32,224 Yeah, that's good. [coughs] 418 00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:34,192 I think it's, like, scoring in my mouth 419 00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:37,028 or something maybe. I don't know, hm. 420 00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:39,731 - Uh, you drank more than me, butthole. 421 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:42,100 [chuckles] [coughs] 422 00:17:42,167 --> 00:17:44,136 Now we're even. - No way, Butt-Head! 423 00:17:44,202 --> 00:17:45,470 That was more than me! 424 00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:50,275 Ugh, ah! [coughs] 425 00:17:50,342 --> 00:17:52,777 Now we're even, yeah. - No, we're not. 426 00:17:52,844 --> 00:17:55,079 You didn't count that stuff that was on your shoe. 427 00:17:55,147 --> 00:17:56,714 - No way, Butt-Head, that's not fair. 428 00:17:56,781 --> 00:17:59,684 [both coughing] 429 00:18:09,561 --> 00:18:11,396 [both groaning] 430 00:18:11,463 --> 00:18:14,432 - Uh, I don't feel so good. 431 00:18:14,499 --> 00:18:16,301 [chuckles] - Yeah, me too, yeah. 432 00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:17,602 [chuckles] 433 00:18:17,669 --> 00:18:19,637 Maybe we'll feel better after we score. 434 00:18:19,704 --> 00:18:21,038 [sighs] - Oh, yeah. 435 00:18:21,105 --> 00:18:22,240 [chuckles] 436 00:18:22,307 --> 00:18:24,008 Help yourself to some punch, ladies. 437 00:18:24,075 --> 00:18:26,511 It'll make the world a better place. 438 00:18:26,578 --> 00:18:29,113 Uh, wait a minute, 439 00:18:29,181 --> 00:18:31,783 some greedy butthole drank it all. 440 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,319 - You know, you know, some people just don't care 441 00:18:34,386 --> 00:18:36,154 about others, you know? It's sad. 442 00:18:36,221 --> 00:18:37,555 [chuckles] 443 00:18:37,622 --> 00:18:40,958 - Oh, what happened to the festive punch I made? 444 00:18:41,025 --> 00:18:43,295 There was organic apple juice in it and-- 445 00:18:43,361 --> 00:18:44,862 - [retches] 446 00:18:44,929 --> 00:18:47,865 - [retching] 447 00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:50,835 - Oh, my. 448 00:18:50,902 --> 00:18:53,538 [Benee's "Supalonely"] 449 00:18:53,605 --> 00:18:56,608 - [chuckles] 450 00:18:56,674 --> 00:18:59,711 Breakfast sucks. [chuckles] 451 00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:01,045 - I mean, it's not my favorite meal, 452 00:19:01,112 --> 00:19:04,582 but, um, I'd say it's in my top three. 453 00:19:04,649 --> 00:19:06,718 - * I don't wanna seem it * 454 00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:08,220 * I don't wanna * 455 00:19:08,286 --> 00:19:10,988 - She needs, like, more auto-tune on her voice. 456 00:19:11,055 --> 00:19:12,624 - Yeah, I don't think that's auto-tune, Butt-Head. 457 00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:15,427 That's just the way she sings. I can do that. 458 00:19:15,493 --> 00:19:16,394 Yeah. [chuckles] 459 00:19:16,461 --> 00:19:18,129 - Uh, really? 460 00:19:18,196 --> 00:19:20,064 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyone can do it. 461 00:19:20,131 --> 00:19:21,699 Yeah, yeah, check it out. [chuckles] 462 00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:26,638 * This video sucks * 463 00:19:26,704 --> 00:19:28,373 See? [chuckles] 464 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,875 - Whoa. How do you do that? 465 00:19:30,942 --> 00:19:32,143 [chuckles] 466 00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:33,678 - You know, you just sort of, like, um... 467 00:19:33,745 --> 00:19:35,347 you just sort of do an auto-tune thing, you know? 468 00:19:35,413 --> 00:19:36,481 You just kind of go like... 469 00:19:36,548 --> 00:19:38,250 * Why is she in the bathtub * 470 00:19:38,316 --> 00:19:39,417 * With her clothes * 471 00:19:39,484 --> 00:19:43,555 * On? * 472 00:19:43,621 --> 00:19:45,490 - Uh, hm. 473 00:19:45,557 --> 00:19:47,559 Let me try it. [chuckles] 474 00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,126 * Why * 475 00:19:49,193 --> 00:19:52,430 * Is this chick in the bathtub * 476 00:19:52,497 --> 00:19:54,031 * With her clothes on? * 477 00:19:54,098 --> 00:19:55,800 - No, no, you're not doing it right, Butt-Head. 478 00:19:55,867 --> 00:19:57,369 - That sounded as good as yours. 479 00:19:57,435 --> 00:20:00,572 - No, no, it didn't. Sorry, Butt-Head, it didn't. 480 00:20:00,638 --> 00:20:01,973 [chuckles] 481 00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:03,975 - Uh, yeah, it was. Shut up, dumbass. 482 00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:05,009 [chuckles] 483 00:20:05,076 --> 00:20:06,278 - I can show you how to do it. 484 00:20:06,344 --> 00:20:08,212 You just want to, like, move your throat 485 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,014 and, like, your lips and your mouth 486 00:20:10,081 --> 00:20:12,784 and kind of change the notes in the-- 487 00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:15,320 well, like this. Watch really close here, okay? 488 00:20:15,387 --> 00:20:18,222 * This chick * 489 00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:21,393 * Is pretty hot * 490 00:20:21,459 --> 00:20:24,996 * Boi-oi-oing * 491 00:20:25,062 --> 00:20:26,498 [both chuckle] 492 00:20:26,564 --> 00:20:30,368 - * This chick is pretty hot * 493 00:20:30,435 --> 00:20:32,737 * Boi-oi-oing * 494 00:20:32,804 --> 00:20:34,171 [chuckles] 495 00:20:34,238 --> 00:20:37,141 - Ooh, that was horrible, Butt-head. 496 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:38,510 - Damn it, Beavis, 497 00:20:38,576 --> 00:20:40,578 I'm gonna auto-tune the backside of your head. 498 00:20:40,645 --> 00:20:42,647 - * No, you won't * 499 00:20:42,714 --> 00:20:46,217 [screams melodically] 500 00:20:46,284 --> 00:20:48,386 - Whoa, that sounded pretty good, Beavis. 501 00:20:48,453 --> 00:20:50,322 I'm gonna try it again. 502 00:20:50,388 --> 00:20:51,323 [flesh thwacks] Ugh! 503 00:20:51,389 --> 00:20:54,292 [screams melodically] 504 00:20:56,294 --> 00:20:58,663 - The DDT gave them massive brain damage. 505 00:20:58,730 --> 00:21:00,432 It's amazing they have enough brain function 506 00:21:00,498 --> 00:21:02,066 to still be alive. 507 00:21:02,133 --> 00:21:04,902 - Actually, Doctor, these scans are from before 508 00:21:04,969 --> 00:21:06,471 they drank the DDT. 509 00:21:06,538 --> 00:21:07,905 These boys were here a month ago 510 00:21:07,972 --> 00:21:10,642 to have objects removed from their nasal cavities. 511 00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:12,477 - Uh, those were army men, yeah. 512 00:21:12,544 --> 00:21:13,678 [both chuckle weakly] 513 00:21:13,745 --> 00:21:15,513 - They made the ultimate sacrifice. 514 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:16,481 [chuckles weakly] 515 00:21:16,548 --> 00:21:17,849 [coughs] 516 00:21:17,915 --> 00:21:19,717 - Oh, then I guess we're done here. 517 00:21:21,419 --> 00:21:23,655 - Oh, boy. [grumbles] 518 00:21:23,721 --> 00:21:25,357 Nobody scored, did they Butt-Head? 519 00:21:25,423 --> 00:21:26,824 [chuckles] 520 00:21:26,891 --> 00:21:28,793 - No. [chuckles] 521 00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:30,328 But at least we learned a lesson. 522 00:21:30,395 --> 00:21:31,829 [chuckles] 523 00:21:31,896 --> 00:21:34,065 - That doing things for other people sucks? 524 00:21:34,131 --> 00:21:35,132 [chuckles] 525 00:21:35,199 --> 00:21:37,969 - Yep, but don't worry, Beavis. 526 00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:40,605 We will never do it again as long as we live. 527 00:21:40,672 --> 00:21:42,106 [chuckles] 528 00:21:42,173 --> 00:21:44,576 - Amen, yeah. [chuckles] 529 00:21:44,642 --> 00:21:47,679 [machines emitting droning tones] 530 00:21:49,681 --> 00:21:52,717 [rock music] 531 00:21:52,784 --> 00:21:59,824 * * 532 00:22:14,672 --> 00:22:15,840 - Chirp.