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* MTV ♪
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Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
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you've heard all the evidence.
4
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The man before you is accused
of serious crimes.
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And now he will be judged
by you,
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a jury of his peers.
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Pee-ers.
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You may begin
your deliberations.
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I have faith in you.
10
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Okay, the evidence
is pretty overwhelming.
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It clearly shows the defendant
robbed a Maxi-Mart at gunpoint,
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threw a keg of beer
through the front window,
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and got away with $600
and five cartons of cigarettes.
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Whoa, that guy sounds pretty cool.
15
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I wanna meet him.
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Yeah, really.
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Yeah, they should've brought
him to this trial.
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Wouldn't have been so boring.
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He was at the trial.
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He was sitting at that table
the whole time,
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You mean that guy
in the black dress?
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That old wuss robbed a store?
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No, that's the judge.
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The defendant robbed the store.
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Oh.
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Well, the defendant kicks ass.
27
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Okay.
28
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Well, we all heard
the eyewitness
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and saw the surveillance video.
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Unless anyone objects,
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I think we should go ahead
and vote on all counts.
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Guilty.
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- Guilty.
- Guilty.
34
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Guilty.
35
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- Guilty.
- Guilty.
36
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Guilty.
37
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- Guilty.
- Guilty.
38
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Uh, not guilty.
39
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Yeah, yeah, not guilty.
Yeah, that's right.
40
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What do you mean
he's not guilty?
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Uh, I'm gonna, like,
vote for him
42
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'cause he's, like, cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, 'cause he did
all those cool crimes.
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You guys saw it.
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So you believe
he did the crimes.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
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They were cool.
48
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So then
that means he's guilty.
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That's your opinion, ma'am.
50
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Wh--what are you saying?
51
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Uh, what I'm saying is
this guy's cool.
52
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He did kick-ass crimes.
53
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Yeah, he was brave.
54
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I'd like to see any of you
try those cool crimes.
55
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But that's what the word
"guilty" means.
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He did the crimes.
57
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So both of you are voting
"guilty," right?
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Boy, Butthead,
this lady just doesn't get it.
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Wow.
- Yeah.
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I guess we're gonna be here
a while.
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So we get $14 a day for this?
That's not bad.
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* Whores in this house ♪
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♪ There's some whores
in this house ♪
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♪ There's some whores
in this house ♪
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♪ There's some whores in this
house ♪
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♪ There's some whores
in this house ♪
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This looks like
one of those videos
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where they're trying
to sell a house.
69
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Yeah, like that time
we went to that open house
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to get free cookies
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and they made us watch a video.
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* Ah ♪
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Yeah. She was like,
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"Can I answer any questions
about the property?"
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Yeah, yeah.
"Um, I was wondering,
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are there any whores
in this house?"
77
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"Yes, there are.
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There are several whores
in this house."
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"The house does include
a big ol' butt on the wall,
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"and lots of boobs.
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And a tiger."
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"Oh, and the tigers
are also whores.
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And they are included."
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"The schools are fantastic,
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"there's some whores
in this house,
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and the roof is brand new."
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* Ah ♪
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"The house also has
an Olympic-sized pool
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that's one foot deep."
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"Yeah, it's great
for little kids
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"or whores, you know.
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Or both, you know."
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"Uh, ma'am, I have a question
about the plumbing.
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I've heard it can get
wet and gushy in here."
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"Uh, yes, sir, it can,
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"and that's just because of
the whores, you know.
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There are some whores
in this house, you know."
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* Macaroni in a pot,
that's some wet and gushy ♪
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You know, that's really
disgusting, Butthead.
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I mean, it's okay for grownups
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but they should make
a clean version of this song.
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You know, like, "damp vagina,"
or--I mean, not that,
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but you know, like--
but maybe that.
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I mean, you know,
"damp vagina,"
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kinda has a ring to it,
you know.
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Kinda romantic.
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Well, I wish we had
some whores in this house.
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I guess.
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I don't even know where we'd
put 'em though, you know?
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Does this couch fold out?
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Uh... I don't know.
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It doesn't matter anyway.
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There's no whores
in this house.
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All right, let's go through
the charges one at a time.
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First, the charge of
attempted manslaughter.
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"Manslaughter,"
that's pretty cool.
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Manslaughter.
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- The eyewitness says he saw--
- Manslaughter!
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- The eyewitness says--
- The slaughter of man!
120
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Sorry, sorry. Go--go ahead. Proceed.
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The eyewitness says
he saw the defendant
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point the gun directly--
- Manslaughter!
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God dammit!
Will you shut the hell up?
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Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.
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It's just, you know,
"manslaughter."
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Maybe if we watch
the surveillance video again
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it'll help these two
make up their minds.
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Good idea.
129
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Oh, hey, hey, check it out.
130
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It's that cool guy again.
- Yeah.
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Maybe he'll actually shoot
someone this time.
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Yeah, and then he'll be
guilty of manslaughter.
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This is the same video
you already watched.
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Just shut up and pay attention.
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Wait, I see something.
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Stop the tape.
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Don't you all see that?
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Look closer.
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Wait a second. He's right.
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Look at his neck tattoo.
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It's different than
the defendant's.
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It's the same.
It's a devil tattoo.
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No, look,
those horns are curved.
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The defendant's
has straight horns,
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That tattoo kicks ass,
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but what I saw was something
even more important.
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Take a closer look.
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This guy's butt crack
is showing.
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He's just walking around
with his butt hanging out.
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It was in the courtroom.
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Right, that's the eyewitness.
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He said he could clearly
identify the defendant,
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but look where he is.
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There's no way
he could've gotten a good look.
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Oh, my God,
he's blocked by the shelves.
156
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He can't see a thing.
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Well, I'll be.
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Everyone saw his butt.
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His butt was on the news.
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This changes everything.
It's an open and shut case.
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Well, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
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but I think we owe
these two jurors our thanks
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for making us slow down and
consider all the evidence.
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Without them, we would've sent
an innocent man to jail.
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Let's vote again.
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Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
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Not guilty.
168
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- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
169
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Not guilty.
170
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,823
- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
171
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Not guilty.
172
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- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
173
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Guilty.
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Yeah, guilty.
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But you helped us prove
he's not the right guy.
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Exactly.
177
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He pretended to be cool,
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and for that,
he must pay the price.
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Yeah, put him in the slammer!
180
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You can't just go around
and pretend to be cool
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and have cops arrest you
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just so that
the chicks will be impressed
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and then come in here
in a black dress
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and bang a hammer
all over the place.
185
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No way!
186
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,222
I'm tired of coddling
these people.
187
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,791
And they're a burden
on the system!
188
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God dammit.
189
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That's what
I'm talking about.
190
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Just makes me feel manslaughter.
191
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How to escape if
you're zip tied to a tree.
192
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Both your hands and your feet.
193
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All right,
so what we're gonna do is,
194
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,710
like my other videos,
195
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:32,245
I'm gonna drive my elbows back
196
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towards the side of my ribcage.
197
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,750
What's she talking about,
Butthead?
198
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,953
This is, like,
a helpful video
199
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,355
trying to teach people
how to, uh--
200
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:46,760
how to, uh,
tie their shoes or something.
201
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,029
Yeah, I should pay attention.
202
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:52,299
'Cause, like, I tied my shoes
like three years ago
203
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,034
and I just, like, put 'em on
and take 'em off,
204
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,070
you know, like, already tied.
205
00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:00,808
Yeah, I don't have time for
that, you know.
206
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,376
Oh, really? So do I.
207
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,945
Oh, wow, really?
208
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:07,581
We should hang out
or something.
209
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,483
So we're gonna tie
both shoelaces,
210
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,753
okay, into a knot.
See how I've done that?
211
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,756
Uh, no, I don't see.
212
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,325
You know, whenever anyone
explains anything to me,
213
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,160
and they ask if I understand,
214
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:25,398
I always say yes,
but I never understand.
215
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,068
Uh, really?
216
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,537
You've never understood
anything?
217
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,505
Nope.
218
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,907
Never.
219
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,609
Never have, never will.
220
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,180
You know, um, you know,
people think I do
221
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,581
because, like,
when they're talking,
222
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,984
you know, I just go,
"Uh-huh, yeah, mm-hmm.
223
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:47,220
Okay, seems reasonable."
224
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,122
But really I'm just trying
to make 'em stop talking,
225
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:53,260
you know, and eventually,
it always works.
226
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,862
And they have no idea
227
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:59,166
that everything just went in
one ear and out the other.
228
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,468
I couldn't drive my legs
obviously, because my--
229
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,337
You know, um, I think
understanding things is, like,
230
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,106
overrated, you know,
'cause, um--
231
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,941
'cause here I am.
232
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,610
I'm doing just fine, you know.
233
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,513
Out here killin' it.
234
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,785
Stay safe.
235
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,587
The suspect in the Highland
Maxi-Mart robbery,
236
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:23,290
Darryl Britney Williamson,
went free today
237
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,859
after his trial ended
in a hung jury.
238
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,197
The decision came as a shock--
- Whoa, "hung jury"?
239
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,132
She's talking about us, Beavis.
240
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,301
Whoa! How'd they know?
241
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,369
I didn't pull
my schlong out once.
242
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,839
I mean, I don't think I did.
243
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,641
Oh, wait, maybe--yeah.
244
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,144
Authorities now believe
he is responsible
245
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,146
for a string of manslaughters
246
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,348
committed immediately
upon his release.
247
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,649
He remains at large.
248
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,585
We ran out of our $14
of beer, Butthead.
249
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,587
How do we get on jury duty
again?
250
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,489
Uh...
251
00:10:56,556 --> 00:11:00,393
I think we have to, like,
rob a store or something.
252
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:03,797
Eh, I'm kinda tired, Butthead.
253
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,166
Let's do it tomorrow.
254
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,136
- First thing tomorrow.
255
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,939
Yep.