1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,737 * MTV ♪ 2 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,443 [both snickering] 3 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,446 [rock music] 4 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:19,420 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,260 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 6 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,728 you've heard all the evidence. 7 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:31,265 The man before you is accused of serious crimes. 8 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,834 And now he will be judged by you, 9 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,669 a jury of his peers. 10 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,605 [snickering] Pee-ers. 11 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,908 [both chuckling] 12 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:44,011 You may begin your deliberations. 13 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,347 I have faith in you. 14 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:53,020 [both chuckling] 15 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,589 Okay, the evidence is pretty overwhelming. 16 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:59,127 It clearly shows the defendant robbed a Maxi-Mart at gunpoint, 17 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,395 threw a keg of beer through the front window, 18 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:05,866 and got away with $600 and five cartons of cigarettes. 19 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:09,670 Whoa, that guy sounds pretty cool. 20 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:10,671 I wanna meet him. 21 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,039 Yeah, really. 22 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,941 Yeah, they should've brought him to this trial. 23 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,009 Wouldn't have been so boring. 24 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,711 He was at the trial. 25 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,281 He was sitting at that table the whole time, 26 00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,049 You mean that guy in the black dress? 27 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,618 That old wuss robbed a store? 28 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,987 No, that's the judge. 29 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,689 The defendant robbed the store. 30 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,124 Oh. 31 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,894 Well, the defendant kicks ass. 32 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,296 Okay. 33 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,131 Well, we all heard the eyewitness 34 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,632 and saw the surveillance video. 35 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,334 Unless anyone objects, 36 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,704 I think we should go ahead and vote on all counts. 37 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,038 Guilty. 38 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,540 - Guilty. - Guilty. 39 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,608 Guilty. 40 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:48,709 - Guilty. - Guilty. 41 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,777 Guilty. 42 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,412 - Guilty. - Guilty. 43 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,014 Uh, not guilty. 44 00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,484 Yeah, yeah, not guilty. Yeah, that's right. 45 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,051 What do you mean he's not guilty? 46 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,989 Uh, I'm gonna, like, vote for him 47 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,692 'cause he's, like, cool. - Yeah, yeah. 48 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,361 Yeah, 'cause he did all those cool crimes. 49 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,096 You guys saw it. 50 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,499 So you believe he did the crimes. 51 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,600 Oh, yeah, yeah. 52 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,101 They were cool. 53 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,770 So then that means he's guilty. 54 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,173 That's your opinion, ma'am. 55 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,374 Wh--what are you saying? 56 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:25,012 Uh, what I'm saying is this guy's cool. 57 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,781 He did kick-ass crimes. 58 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,451 Yeah, he was brave. 59 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,053 I'd like to see any of you try those cool crimes. 60 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,756 But that's what the word "guilty" means. 61 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,325 He did the crimes. 62 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,193 So both of you are voting "guilty," right? 63 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,029 Boy, Butthead, this lady just doesn't get it. 64 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:44,298 Wow. - Yeah. 65 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,100 I guess we're gonna be here a while. 66 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:54,508 So we get $14 a day for this? That's not bad. 67 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,876 * Whores in this house ♪ 68 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,678 ♪ There's some whores in this house ♪ 69 00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,480 ♪ There's some whores in this house ♪ 70 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,315 ♪ There's some whores in this house ♪ 71 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,816 ♪ There's some whores in this house ♪ 72 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,385 This looks like one of those videos 73 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,287 where they're trying to sell a house. 74 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,955 Yeah, like that time we went to that open house 75 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,390 to get free cookies 76 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,959 and they made us watch a video. 77 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:12,993 * Ah ♪ 78 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,629 Yeah. She was like, 79 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,632 "Can I answer any questions about the property?" 80 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,301 Yeah, yeah. "Um, I was wondering, 81 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,736 are there any whores in this house?" 82 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,004 "Yes, there are. 83 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,774 There are several whores in this house." 84 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,077 "The house does include a big ol' butt on the wall, 85 00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,979 "and lots of boobs. 86 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,614 And a tiger." 87 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,949 "Oh, and the tigers are also whores. 88 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,985 And they are included." 89 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,620 "The schools are fantastic, 90 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,221 "there's some whores in this house, 91 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,691 and the roof is brand new." 92 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,293 * Ah ♪ 93 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,428 "The house also has an Olympic-sized pool 94 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:50,063 that's one foot deep." 95 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,732 "Yeah, it's great for little kids 96 00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,233 "or whores, you know. 97 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,903 Or both, you know." 98 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,739 "Uh, ma'am, I have a question about the plumbing. 99 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:02,376 I've heard it can get wet and gushy in here." 100 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,944 "Uh, yes, sir, it can, 101 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,946 "and that's just because of the whores, you know. 102 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,782 There are some whores in this house, you know." 103 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:12,653 * Macaroni in a pot, that's some wet and gushy ♪ 104 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,523 You know, that's really disgusting, Butthead. 105 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,957 I mean, it's okay for grownups 106 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,860 but they should make a clean version of this song. 107 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:23,063 You know, like, "damp vagina," or--I mean, not that, 108 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,098 but you know, like-- but maybe that. 109 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,501 I mean, you know, "damp vagina," 110 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:29,837 kinda has a ring to it, you know. 111 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,772 Kinda romantic. 112 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,642 Well, I wish we had some whores in this house. 113 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,410 I guess. 114 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:39,212 I don't even know where we'd put 'em though, you know? 115 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,749 Does this couch fold out? 116 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,518 Uh... I don't know. 117 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,520 It doesn't matter anyway. 118 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,357 There's no whores in this house. 119 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:57,698 All right, let's go through the charges one at a time. 120 00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:01,068 First, the charge of attempted manslaughter. 121 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,004 "Manslaughter," that's pretty cool. 122 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,807 Manslaughter. [both snickering] 123 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:11,712 - The eyewitness says he saw-- - Manslaughter! 124 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,081 - The eyewitness says-- - The slaughter of man! 125 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,451 [both snickering] 126 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:20,754 Sorry, sorry. Go--go ahead. Proceed. 127 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,528 The eyewitness says he saw the defendant 128 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,663 point the gun directly-- - Manslaughter! 129 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:33,100 God dammit! Will you shut the hell up? 130 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,268 Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. 131 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,772 It's just, you know, "manslaughter." 132 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,874 Maybe if we watch the surveillance video again 133 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,843 it'll help these two make up their minds. 134 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,578 Good idea. 135 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,181 Oh, hey, hey, check it out. 136 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,884 It's that cool guy again. - Yeah. 137 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,587 Maybe he'll actually shoot someone this time. 138 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:58,325 Yeah, and then he'll be guilty of manslaughter. 139 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,429 This is the same video you already watched. 140 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,896 Just shut up and pay attention. 141 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,865 Wait, I see something. 142 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,668 Stop the tape. 143 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,237 Don't you all see that? [groans] 144 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:13,040 Look closer. 145 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:16,309 Wait a second. He's right. 146 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,511 Look at his neck tattoo. 147 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,312 It's different than the defendant's. 148 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,482 It's the same. It's a devil tattoo. 149 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,784 No, look, those horns are curved. 150 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,986 The defendant's has straight horns, 151 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,755 That tattoo kicks ass, 152 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,057 but what I saw was something even more important. 153 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,358 Take a closer look. 154 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,362 This guy's butt crack is showing. 155 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,498 [both snickering] 156 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:40,934 He's just walking around with his butt hanging out. 157 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,937 It was in the courtroom. 158 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,306 Right, that's the eyewitness. 159 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,542 He said he could clearly identify the defendant, 160 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:49,910 but look where he is. 161 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,379 There's no way he could've gotten a good look. 162 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,782 Oh, my God, he's blocked by the shelves. 163 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,183 He can't see a thing. 164 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,152 Well, I'll be. 165 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,254 Everyone saw his butt. 166 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,590 [both snickering] 167 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,726 His butt was on the news. 168 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:09,429 This changes everything. It's an open and shut case. 169 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,168 Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, 170 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:19,507 but I think we owe these two jurors our thanks 171 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:23,076 for making us slow down and consider all the evidence. 172 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:26,847 Without them, we would've sent an innocent man to jail. 173 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,216 Let's vote again. 174 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,884 Not guilty. - Not guilty. 175 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,052 Not guilty. 176 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:32,953 - Not guilty. - Not guilty. 177 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,187 Not guilty. 178 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,823 - Not guilty. - Not guilty. 179 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:36,890 Not guilty. 180 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,659 - Not guilty. - Not guilty. 181 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,860 Guilty. 182 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,429 Yeah, guilty. 183 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,933 But you helped us prove he's not the right guy. 184 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,935 Exactly. 185 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,937 He pretended to be cool, 186 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,172 and for that, he must pay the price. 187 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,974 Yeah, put him in the slammer! 188 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,910 You can't just go around and pretend to be cool 189 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,512 and have cops arrest you 190 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,313 just so that the chicks will be impressed 191 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,182 and then come in here in a black dress 192 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,618 and bang a hammer all over the place. 193 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,119 No way! 194 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,222 I'm tired of coddling these people. 195 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,791 And they're a burden on the system! 196 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,793 God dammit. 197 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,128 That's what I'm talking about. 198 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,466 Just makes me feel manslaughter. 199 00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:24,071 How to escape if you're zip tied to a tree. 200 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,840 Both your hands and your feet. 201 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,441 All right, so what we're gonna do is, 202 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,710 like my other videos, 203 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:32,245 I'm gonna drive my elbows back 204 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,047 towards the side of my ribcage. 205 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,750 What's she talking about, Butthead? 206 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,953 This is, like, a helpful video 207 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,355 trying to teach people how to, uh-- 208 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:46,760 how to, uh, tie their shoes or something. 209 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,029 Yeah, I should pay attention. 210 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:52,299 'Cause, like, I tied my shoes like three years ago 211 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,034 and I just, like, put 'em on and take 'em off, 212 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,070 you know, like, already tied. 213 00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:00,808 Yeah, I don't have time for that, you know. 214 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,376 Oh, really? So do I. 215 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,945 Oh, wow, really? 216 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:07,581 We should hang out or something. 217 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,483 So we're gonna tie both shoelaces, 218 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,753 okay, into a knot. See how I've done that? 219 00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,756 Uh, no, I don't see. 220 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,325 You know, whenever anyone explains anything to me, 221 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,160 and they ask if I understand, 222 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:25,398 I always say yes, but I never understand. 223 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,068 Uh, really? 224 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,537 You've never understood anything? 225 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,505 Nope. 226 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,907 Never. 227 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,609 Never have, never will. 228 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,111 [both snickering] 229 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,180 You know, um, you know, people think I do 230 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,581 because, like, when they're talking, 231 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,984 you know, I just go, "Uh-huh, yeah, mm-hmm. 232 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:47,220 Okay, seems reasonable." 233 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,122 But really I'm just trying to make 'em stop talking, 234 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:53,260 you know, and eventually, it always works. 235 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,862 And they have no idea 236 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:59,166 that everything just went in one ear and out the other. 237 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,468 I couldn't drive my legs obviously, because my-- 238 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,337 You know, um, I think understanding things is, like, 239 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,106 overrated, you know, 'cause, um-- 240 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,941 'cause here I am. 241 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,610 I'm doing just fine, you know. 242 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,513 Out here killin' it. 243 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,016 [smacks lips, sighs] 244 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,785 Stay safe. 245 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,587 The suspect in the Highland Maxi-Mart robbery, 246 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:23,290 Darryl Britney Williamson, went free today 247 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,859 after his trial ended in a hung jury. 248 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,197 The decision came as a shock-- - Whoa, "hung jury"? 249 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,132 She's talking about us, Beavis. 250 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,301 Whoa! How'd they know? 251 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,369 I didn't pull my schlong out once. 252 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,839 I mean, I don't think I did. 253 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,641 Oh, wait, maybe--yeah. 254 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,144 Authorities now believe he is responsible 255 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,146 for a string of manslaughters 256 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,348 committed immediately upon his release. 257 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,649 He remains at large. 258 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,585 We ran out of our $14 of beer, Butthead. 259 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,587 How do we get on jury duty again? 260 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,489 Uh... 261 00:10:56,556 --> 00:11:00,393 I think we have to, like, rob a store or something. 262 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:03,797 Eh, I'm kinda tired, Butthead. 263 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,166 Let's do it tomorrow. 264 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,136 [can crunches] - First thing tomorrow. 265 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,939 Yep. 266 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:15,008 [both snoring] 267 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,477 [heavy thud] 268 00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:18,678 [coughs] 269 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,213 [can crunches]