1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,737
* MTV ♪
2
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,443
[both snickering]
3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,446
[rock music]
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:19,420
♪ ♪
5
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,260
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
6
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,728
you've heard all the evidence.
7
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:31,265
The man before you is accused
of serious crimes.
8
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,834
And now he will be judged
by you,
9
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,669
a jury of his peers.
10
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,605
[snickering]
Pee-ers.
11
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,908
[both chuckling]
12
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:44,011
You may begin
your deliberations.
13
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,347
I have faith in you.
14
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:53,020
[both chuckling]
15
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,589
Okay, the evidence
is pretty overwhelming.
16
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:59,127
It clearly shows the defendant
robbed a Maxi-Mart at gunpoint,
17
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,395
threw a keg of beer
through the front window,
18
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:05,866
and got away with $600
and five cartons of cigarettes.
19
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:09,670
Whoa, that guy sounds pretty cool.
20
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:10,671
I wanna meet him.
21
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,039
Yeah, really.
22
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,941
Yeah, they should've brought
him to this trial.
23
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,009
Wouldn't have been so boring.
24
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,711
He was at the trial.
25
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,281
He was sitting at that table
the whole time,
26
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,049
You mean that guy
in the black dress?
27
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,618
That old wuss robbed a store?
28
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,987
No, that's the judge.
29
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,689
The defendant robbed the store.
30
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,124
Oh.
31
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,894
Well, the defendant kicks ass.
32
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,296
Okay.
33
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,131
Well, we all heard
the eyewitness
34
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,632
and saw the surveillance video.
35
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,334
Unless anyone objects,
36
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,704
I think we should go ahead
and vote on all counts.
37
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,038
Guilty.
38
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,540
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
39
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,608
Guilty.
40
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:48,709
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
41
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,777
Guilty.
42
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,412
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
43
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,014
Uh, not guilty.
44
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,484
Yeah, yeah, not guilty.
Yeah, that's right.
45
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,051
What do you mean
he's not guilty?
46
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,989
Uh, I'm gonna, like,
vote for him
47
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,692
'cause he's, like, cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
48
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,361
Yeah, 'cause he did
all those cool crimes.
49
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,096
You guys saw it.
50
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,499
So you believe
he did the crimes.
51
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,600
Oh, yeah, yeah.
52
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,101
They were cool.
53
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,770
So then
that means he's guilty.
54
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,173
That's your opinion, ma'am.
55
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,374
Wh--what are you saying?
56
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:25,012
Uh, what I'm saying is
this guy's cool.
57
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,781
He did kick-ass crimes.
58
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,451
Yeah, he was brave.
59
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,053
I'd like to see any of you
try those cool crimes.
60
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,756
But that's what the word
"guilty" means.
61
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,325
He did the crimes.
62
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,193
So both of you are voting
"guilty," right?
63
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,029
Boy, Butthead,
this lady just doesn't get it.
64
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:44,298
Wow.
- Yeah.
65
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,100
I guess we're gonna be here
a while.
66
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:54,508
So we get $14 a day for this?
That's not bad.
67
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,876
* Whores in this house ♪
68
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,678
♪ There's some whores
in this house ♪
69
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,480
♪ There's some whores
in this house ♪
70
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,315
♪ There's some whores in this
house ♪
71
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,816
♪ There's some whores
in this house ♪
72
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,385
This looks like
one of those videos
73
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,287
where they're trying
to sell a house.
74
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,955
Yeah, like that time
we went to that open house
75
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,390
to get free cookies
76
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,959
and they made us watch a video.
77
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:12,993
* Ah ♪
78
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,629
Yeah. She was like,
79
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,632
"Can I answer any questions
about the property?"
80
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,301
Yeah, yeah.
"Um, I was wondering,
81
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,736
are there any whores
in this house?"
82
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,004
"Yes, there are.
83
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,774
There are several whores
in this house."
84
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,077
"The house does include
a big ol' butt on the wall,
85
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,979
"and lots of boobs.
86
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,614
And a tiger."
87
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,949
"Oh, and the tigers
are also whores.
88
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,985
And they are included."
89
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,620
"The schools are fantastic,
90
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,221
"there's some whores
in this house,
91
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,691
and the roof is brand new."
92
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,293
* Ah ♪
93
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,428
"The house also has
an Olympic-sized pool
94
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:50,063
that's one foot deep."
95
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,732
"Yeah, it's great
for little kids
96
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,233
"or whores, you know.
97
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,903
Or both, you know."
98
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,739
"Uh, ma'am, I have a question
about the plumbing.
99
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:02,376
I've heard it can get
wet and gushy in here."
100
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,944
"Uh, yes, sir, it can,
101
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,946
"and that's just because of
the whores, you know.
102
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,782
There are some whores
in this house, you know."
103
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:12,653
* Macaroni in a pot,
that's some wet and gushy ♪
104
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,523
You know, that's really
disgusting, Butthead.
105
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,957
I mean, it's okay for grownups
106
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,860
but they should make
a clean version of this song.
107
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:23,063
You know, like, "damp vagina,"
or--I mean, not that,
108
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,098
but you know, like--
but maybe that.
109
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,501
I mean, you know,
"damp vagina,"
110
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:29,837
kinda has a ring to it,
you know.
111
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,772
Kinda romantic.
112
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,642
Well, I wish we had
some whores in this house.
113
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,410
I guess.
114
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:39,212
I don't even know where we'd
put 'em though, you know?
115
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,749
Does this couch fold out?
116
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,518
Uh... I don't know.
117
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,520
It doesn't matter anyway.
118
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,357
There's no whores
in this house.
119
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:57,698
All right, let's go through
the charges one at a time.
120
00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:01,068
First, the charge of
attempted manslaughter.
121
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,004
"Manslaughter,"
that's pretty cool.
122
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,807
Manslaughter.
[both snickering]
123
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:11,712
- The eyewitness says he saw--
- Manslaughter!
124
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,081
- The eyewitness says--
- The slaughter of man!
125
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,451
[both snickering]
126
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:20,754
Sorry, sorry. Go--go ahead. Proceed.
127
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,528
The eyewitness says
he saw the defendant
128
00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,663
point the gun directly--
- Manslaughter!
129
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:33,100
God dammit!
Will you shut the hell up?
130
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,268
Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.
131
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,772
It's just, you know,
"manslaughter."
132
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,874
Maybe if we watch
the surveillance video again
133
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,843
it'll help these two
make up their minds.
134
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,578
Good idea.
135
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,181
Oh, hey, hey, check it out.
136
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,884
It's that cool guy again.
- Yeah.
137
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,587
Maybe he'll actually shoot
someone this time.
138
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:58,325
Yeah, and then he'll be
guilty of manslaughter.
139
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,429
This is the same video
you already watched.
140
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,896
Just shut up and pay attention.
141
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,865
Wait, I see something.
142
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,668
Stop the tape.
143
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,237
Don't you all see that?
[groans]
144
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:13,040
Look closer.
145
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:16,309
Wait a second. He's right.
146
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,511
Look at his neck tattoo.
147
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,312
It's different than
the defendant's.
148
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,482
It's the same.
It's a devil tattoo.
149
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,784
No, look,
those horns are curved.
150
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,986
The defendant's
has straight horns,
151
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,755
That tattoo kicks ass,
152
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,057
but what I saw was something
even more important.
153
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,358
Take a closer look.
154
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,362
This guy's butt crack
is showing.
155
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,498
[both snickering]
156
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:40,934
He's just walking around
with his butt hanging out.
157
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,937
It was in the courtroom.
158
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,306
Right, that's the eyewitness.
159
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,542
He said he could clearly
identify the defendant,
160
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:49,910
but look where he is.
161
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,379
There's no way
he could've gotten a good look.
162
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,782
Oh, my God,
he's blocked by the shelves.
163
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,183
He can't see a thing.
164
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,152
Well, I'll be.
165
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,254
Everyone saw his butt.
166
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,590
[both snickering]
167
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,726
His butt was on the news.
168
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:09,429
This changes everything.
It's an open and shut case.
169
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,168
Well, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
170
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:19,507
but I think we owe
these two jurors our thanks
171
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:23,076
for making us slow down and
consider all the evidence.
172
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:26,847
Without them, we would've sent
an innocent man to jail.
173
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,216
Let's vote again.
174
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,884
Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
175
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,052
Not guilty.
176
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:32,953
- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
177
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,187
Not guilty.
178
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,823
- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
179
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:36,890
Not guilty.
180
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,659
- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
181
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,860
Guilty.
182
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,429
Yeah, guilty.
183
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,933
But you helped us prove
he's not the right guy.
184
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,935
Exactly.
185
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,937
He pretended to be cool,
186
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,172
and for that,
he must pay the price.
187
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,974
Yeah, put him in the slammer!
188
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,910
You can't just go around
and pretend to be cool
189
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,512
and have cops arrest you
190
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,313
just so that
the chicks will be impressed
191
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,182
and then come in here
in a black dress
192
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,618
and bang a hammer
all over the place.
193
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,119
No way!
194
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,222
I'm tired of coddling
these people.
195
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,791
And they're a burden
on the system!
196
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,793
God dammit.
197
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,128
That's what
I'm talking about.
198
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,466
Just makes me feel manslaughter.
199
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:24,071
How to escape if
you're zip tied to a tree.
200
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,840
Both your hands and your feet.
201
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,441
All right,
so what we're gonna do is,
202
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,710
like my other videos,
203
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:32,245
I'm gonna drive my elbows back
204
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,047
towards the side of my ribcage.
205
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,750
What's she talking about,
Butthead?
206
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,953
This is, like,
a helpful video
207
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,355
trying to teach people
how to, uh--
208
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:46,760
how to, uh,
tie their shoes or something.
209
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,029
Yeah, I should pay attention.
210
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:52,299
'Cause, like, I tied my shoes
like three years ago
211
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,034
and I just, like, put 'em on
and take 'em off,
212
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,070
you know, like, already tied.
213
00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:00,808
Yeah, I don't have time for
that, you know.
214
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,376
Oh, really? So do I.
215
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,945
Oh, wow, really?
216
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:07,581
We should hang out
or something.
217
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,483
So we're gonna tie
both shoelaces,
218
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,753
okay, into a knot.
See how I've done that?
219
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,756
Uh, no, I don't see.
220
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,325
You know, whenever anyone
explains anything to me,
221
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,160
and they ask if I understand,
222
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:25,398
I always say yes,
but I never understand.
223
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,068
Uh, really?
224
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,537
You've never understood
anything?
225
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,505
Nope.
226
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,907
Never.
227
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,609
Never have, never will.
228
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,111
[both snickering]
229
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,180
You know, um, you know,
people think I do
230
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,581
because, like,
when they're talking,
231
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,984
you know, I just go,
"Uh-huh, yeah, mm-hmm.
232
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:47,220
Okay, seems reasonable."
233
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,122
But really I'm just trying
to make 'em stop talking,
234
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:53,260
you know, and eventually,
it always works.
235
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,862
And they have no idea
236
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:59,166
that everything just went in
one ear and out the other.
237
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,468
I couldn't drive my legs
obviously, because my--
238
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,337
You know, um, I think
understanding things is, like,
239
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,106
overrated, you know,
'cause, um--
240
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,941
'cause here I am.
241
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,610
I'm doing just fine, you know.
242
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,513
Out here killin' it.
243
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,016
[smacks lips, sighs]
244
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,785
Stay safe.
245
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,587
The suspect in the Highland
Maxi-Mart robbery,
246
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:23,290
Darryl Britney Williamson,
went free today
247
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,859
after his trial ended
in a hung jury.
248
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,197
The decision came as a shock--
- Whoa, "hung jury"?
249
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,132
She's talking about us, Beavis.
250
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,301
Whoa! How'd they know?
251
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,369
I didn't pull
my schlong out once.
252
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,839
I mean, I don't think I did.
253
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,641
Oh, wait, maybe--yeah.
254
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,144
Authorities now believe
he is responsible
255
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,146
for a string of manslaughters
256
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,348
committed immediately
upon his release.
257
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,649
He remains at large.
258
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,585
We ran out of our $14
of beer, Butthead.
259
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,587
How do we get on jury duty
again?
260
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,489
Uh...
261
00:10:56,556 --> 00:11:00,393
I think we have to, like,
rob a store or something.
262
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:03,797
Eh, I'm kinda tired, Butthead.
263
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,166
Let's do it tomorrow.
264
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,136
[can crunches]
- First thing tomorrow.
265
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,939
Yep.
266
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:15,008
[both snoring]
267
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,477
[heavy thud]
268
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:18,678
[coughs]
269
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,213
[can crunches]