1
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,307
That statue kicks ass.

2
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,353
Yeah, yeah.

3
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,571
What kind of pants are those?

4
00:00:21,659 --> 00:00:23,399
They're yoga pants, dumbass.

5
00:00:23,486 --> 00:00:25,793
Everybody knows that.

6
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,317
Well, that statue sure looks
good in those yoga pants.

7
00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:30,102
- It sure does.

8
00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:35,629
Yoga pants.

9
00:00:35,716 --> 00:00:37,239
Mm.

10
00:00:37,326 --> 00:00:38,980
Um, Butt-Head?

11
00:00:39,067 --> 00:00:40,721
I wonder if I would look sexy
in yoga pants.

12
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:41,983
Yeah.

13
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,159
Everyone looks sexy
in yoga pants.

14
00:00:44,246 --> 00:00:47,162
Yeah, except for you, Beavis,

15
00:00:47,249 --> 00:00:48,990
'cause you're disgusting.

16
00:00:49,077 --> 00:00:50,905
No way, Butt-Head.

17
00:00:50,992 --> 00:00:52,428
You heard what she said.

18
00:00:52,515 --> 00:00:54,213
I'm gonna listen to a chick
and not you.

19
00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:57,695
I'm gonna go get
some yoga pants,

20
00:00:57,782 --> 00:00:59,435
and then I shall score.

21
00:01:04,353 --> 00:01:06,225
You've seen it before,
but not on this scale.

22
00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:11,404
I thought we all needed
cheering up, myself included.

23
00:01:11,491 --> 00:01:13,667
So I know how you love
a little bit of rock cooking.

24
00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:16,017
I thought I'd go OTT with it.

25
00:01:16,104 --> 00:01:18,498
You know--you know,
Butt-Head, um,

26
00:01:18,585 --> 00:01:20,326
sometimes I worry that
I'll never score, you know?

27
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,719
But, um--

28
00:01:21,806 --> 00:01:24,591
<i>but this guy will never score.</i>

29
00:01:24,678 --> 00:01:27,072
<i>Yeah, I don't see
how he could.</i>

30
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,684
<i>Is this the outback
or something?</i>

31
00:01:30,771 --> 00:01:33,426
He's in the outback

32
00:01:33,513 --> 00:01:35,210
<i>'cause his wife
kicked him out,</i>

33
00:01:35,297 --> 00:01:38,083
<i>and now he's living out back
behind his mom's house.</i>

34
00:01:40,781 --> 00:01:43,566
"Mom, can I play breakfast
in the backyard again?"

35
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:51,618
<i>This guy's survival skill,
is it, like, if he runs out</i>

36
00:01:51,705 --> 00:01:54,316
<i>of food, he just goes
to his mom's house</i>

37
00:01:54,403 --> 00:01:56,449
<i>and gets a bunch
of stuff out of the fridge?</i>

38
00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:02,237
And then he just goes
into the backyard

39
00:02:02,324 --> 00:02:03,412
and cooks it all, yeah.

40
00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:06,589
<i>On one of those tiles
from the roof, yeah.</i>

41
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,158
Why didn't he just, like,
get some Froot Loops

42
00:02:10,245 --> 00:02:11,333
or something?

43
00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:16,643
This breakfast
is a cry for help.

44
00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:24,346
<i>He made a face
out of eggs and sausage</i>

45
00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:25,521
<i>'cause he's lonely.</i>

46
00:02:31,397 --> 00:02:33,225
<i>"Let's make some
pancake boobs here."</i>

47
00:02:36,271 --> 00:02:38,360
He's like,
"I'm cooking for two

48
00:02:38,447 --> 00:02:41,407
"in case Jennifer comes back.
Has anyone seen her?

49
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,018
<i>No?
Well, that means more for me."</i>

50
00:02:45,759 --> 00:02:47,761
<i>This is turning out
to be a great day</i>

51
00:02:47,848 --> 00:02:50,633
without Jennifer,
and many more to come, yeah.

52
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:54,942
<i>" Yeah, my ex-wife
likes oranges,</i>

53
00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:57,684
<i>so I guess I'll make her
some orange juice.</i>

54
00:02:59,729 --> 00:03:01,644
<i>And I'll make it here
in her sawed-off leg bone.</i>

55
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,651
That was lovely.

56
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,613
<i>Yup, all good things
must come to an end,</i>

57
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:16,921
like this filthy breakfast
and my marriage of 14 months.

58
00:03:19,184 --> 00:03:21,055
<i>Come on, Butt-Head.
This is getting too sad.</i>

59
00:03:22,361 --> 00:03:24,842
<i>Yeah.</i>

60
00:03:24,929 --> 00:03:27,061
<i>"And now I filled
this backpack with rocks,</i>

61
00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:28,802
<i>and I'm just gonna go
walk into the ocean."</i>

62
00:03:28,889 --> 00:03:32,850
- Yeah.

63
00:03:32,937 --> 00:03:36,288
"In the next episode, you'll
be seeing an outback funeral."

64
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,207
<i>"Let me know if she's there."</i>

65
00:03:42,294 --> 00:03:44,600
<i>"She'll probably cry,
and then she'll regret</i>

66
00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:46,472
<i>running off
with her college roommate."</i>

67
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,604
Yeah.

68
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,172
She'll be like, "You know,
if I hadn't left him,

69
00:03:51,259 --> 00:03:54,393
"he'd still be alive and
cooking me a filthy breakfast

70
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,785
on a rock."

71
00:03:57,657 --> 00:04:00,355
<i>"And don't forget,
if you like this video,</i>

72
00:04:00,442 --> 00:04:01,617
<i>can you please go
find my wife?"</i>

73
00:04:03,489 --> 00:04:04,882
<i>Just smash
that find-my-wife button.</i>

74
00:04:10,235 --> 00:04:12,150
Go get me some yoga pants.

75
00:04:12,237 --> 00:04:14,804
Ooh, yeah.

76
00:04:14,892 --> 00:04:18,547
Uh, here you go, Beavis.

77
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:21,333
Um, those look kind of small,
Butt-Head.

78
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,465
Of course they look small, dumbass.

79
00:04:23,552 --> 00:04:26,033
That's because they, like,
stretch and stuff so that

80
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,775
they can, like, rearrange
your butt or something.

81
00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:30,429
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense, yeah.

82
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:32,561
This is gonna be cool.

83
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,827
- Okay.

84
00:04:37,915 --> 00:04:39,090
I'll take these off.

85
00:04:39,177 --> 00:04:40,961
Here we go.

86
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,267
<i>Ah.</i>

87
00:04:42,354 --> 00:04:44,660
Hey, how's it going?

88
00:04:44,747 --> 00:04:48,273
Hey, Butt-Head,
I'm, like, naked in a place

89
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,971
that, like,
chicks have been naked in.

90
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,668
Cool.

91
00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:55,236
- Boing, oing, oing.

92
00:04:55,323 --> 00:04:56,629
Okay, okay.

93
00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,544
- Put these bad boys on.

94
00:05:19,957 --> 00:05:21,741
About halfway there.

95
00:05:24,439 --> 00:05:25,658
Son of a bitch!

96
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,443
Okay.

97
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,010
Here we go.

98
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,794
How do I look?

99
00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:35,711
Uh, Beavis?

100
00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:37,931
Pretty sexy.

101
00:05:38,018 --> 00:05:40,368
- Uh, Beavis?

102
00:05:40,455 --> 00:05:41,630
- Yeah, I'd tap that.

103
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,241
Yeah--ooh.

104
00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:47,375
Uh, Beavis, it looks like
you don't have any nads.

105
00:05:47,462 --> 00:05:48,246
What?
What're you talking about?

106
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,552
Or a schlong.

107
00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,206
No way, Butt-Head.
My schlong is right--

108
00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:56,732
No, what happened to my nads?

109
00:05:56,819 --> 00:05:58,604
I know they're in there
'cause these pants

110
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,085
are really making 'em hurt.

111
00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:02,825
Uh, you better take 'em off

112
00:06:02,912 --> 00:06:04,740
before any chicks see you, Beavis.

113
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,265
That's embarrassing.

114
00:06:07,352 --> 00:06:08,483
They won't come off,
Butt-Head.

115
00:06:09,832 --> 00:06:11,399
My wiener's going numb.

116
00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:15,099
Just get ahold of yourself, Beavis.

117
00:06:15,186 --> 00:06:17,144
Hold of yourself.

118
00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:19,103
I can't get 'em off.
Ahh!

119
00:06:24,195 --> 00:06:25,674
You gotta help me, Butt-Head.

120
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:29,287
These pants are cutting off
oxygen to my schlong.

121
00:06:29,374 --> 00:06:33,247
Hmm, we need to find a place
that sells schlong oxygen.

122
00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:34,944
No, we gotta find something
to get 'em off

123
00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:36,990
before my wiener dies.

124
00:06:37,077 --> 00:06:38,165
Damn it.

125
00:06:38,252 --> 00:06:40,733
We just need to,
like, oil 'em up,

126
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,778
and then they'll
just slide right off.

127
00:06:42,865 --> 00:06:45,042
Now just wait over there.

128
00:06:45,129 --> 00:06:48,349
I'll be right back.

129
00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:52,353
Care to try our new
olive oils from Tuscany?

130
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,442
Okay, Beavis,
I got you some oil,

131
00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:56,749
and it has Tuscany in it.

132
00:06:56,836 --> 00:06:58,577
What's that?

133
00:06:58,664 --> 00:07:00,622
I don't know,
but it'll grease you up good.

134
00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,755
Open up your pants.

135
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,588
It's not working, Butt-Head.

136
00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:12,286
That's 'cause you need
some muscle, dumbass.

137
00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:14,201
Hold on to that thing,
and let a real man do this.

138
00:07:18,162 --> 00:07:20,120
Uh, Butt-Head, Butt-Head.

139
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:20,947
Butt-Head,
I'm starting to slip.

140
00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:23,080
Hold on, dumbass.

141
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,603
- I can't.
- Almost got it.

142
00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,300
No, Butt-Head.

143
00:07:26,387 --> 00:07:27,562
No, no, no--oh, no!

144
00:07:27,649 --> 00:07:29,173
Ahh!

145
00:07:41,185 --> 00:07:44,188
That was cool.

146
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,150
I can't get up, Butt-Head.

147
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,892
Ow, ah.

148
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:55,677
It just keeps going down.

149
00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:59,028
Uh, don't worry, Beavis.
I'm gonna go get help.

150
00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:00,247
Ow.

151
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:01,727
Going down.

152
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,946
Oh, yeah.

153
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,470
Eh, but really, Butt-Head,
come on.

154
00:08:05,557 --> 00:08:07,863
Ah, ow, ah.

155
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,389
Uh, excuse me.

156
00:08:11,476 --> 00:08:13,130
We need help and stuff.

157
00:08:13,217 --> 00:08:14,087
What's the problem?

158
00:08:14,174 --> 00:08:18,047
Uh, my friend has no nads.

159
00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:21,921
Ah, ow, ah, ow, ah!

160
00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:23,618
Uh, he says he doesn't know
how to help you, Beavis.

161
00:08:23,705 --> 00:08:24,750
Damn it.

162
00:08:28,319 --> 00:08:30,625
Well, I'll see you at home.

163
00:08:30,712 --> 00:08:32,453
- Let me know how it turns out.

164
00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,542
- Okay, see you later.

165
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:35,935
Damn it.

166
00:08:36,022 --> 00:08:39,112
Ah, ow.
Ah, ow.

167
00:08:46,598 --> 00:08:47,512
Ah!

168
00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,992
Damn it.

169
00:09:00,394 --> 00:09:02,483
- Good morning.
- Good morning.

170
00:09:30,772 --> 00:09:32,078
Chirp.