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[rock music]
2
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♪ ♪
3
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[both chuckling]
4
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That statue kicks ass.
5
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,353
Yeah, yeah.
[both chuckle]
6
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What kind of pants are those?
7
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They're yoga pants, dumbass.
8
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Everybody knows that.
[chuckles]
9
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Well, that statue sure looks
good in those yoga pants.
10
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[chuckles]
- It sure does.
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[chuckles]
- [chuckles]
12
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Yoga pants.
[chuckles]
13
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Mm.
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Um, Butt-Head?
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I wonder if I would look sexy
in yoga pants.
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[chuckles]
Yeah.
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Everyone looks sexy
in yoga pants.
18
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Yeah, except for you, Beavis,
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'cause you're disgusting.
20
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No way, Butt-Head.
[chuckles]
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You heard what she said.
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I'm gonna listen to a chick
and not you.
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[chuckles]
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I'm gonna go get
some yoga pants,
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and then I shall score.
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[chuckles]
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[slurps]
28
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You've seen it before,
but not on this scale.
29
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[laughs]
30
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I thought we all needed
cheering up, myself included.
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So I know how you love
a little bit of rock cooking.
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I thought I'd go OTT with it.
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You know--you know,
Butt-Head, um,
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sometimes I worry that
I'll never score, you know?
35
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But, um--
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but this guy will never score.
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Yeah, I don't see
how he could.
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[chuckles]
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Is this the outback
or something?
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He's in the outback
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'cause his wife
kicked him out,
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and now he's living out back
behind his mom's house.
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[chuckles]
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"Mom, can I play breakfast
in the backyard again?"
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[both chuckle]
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This guy's survival skill,
is it, like, if he runs out
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of food, he just goes
to his mom's house
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and gets a bunch
of stuff out of the fridge?
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[both chuckle]
50
00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:02,237
And then he just goes
into the backyard
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and cooks it all, yeah.
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[chuckles]
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On one of those tiles
from the roof, yeah.
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[chuckles]
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Why didn't he just, like,
get some Froot Loops
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or something?
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[both chuckle]
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This breakfast
is a cry for help.
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[both chuckle]
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He made a face
out of eggs and sausage
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'cause he's lonely.
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[both chuckle]
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"Let's make some
pancake boobs here."
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[both chuckle]
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He's like,
"I'm cooking for two
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"in case Jennifer comes back.
Has anyone seen her?
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No?
Well, that means more for me."
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[chuckles]
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This is turning out
to be a great day
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without Jennifer,
and many more to come, yeah.
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[chuckles]
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" Yeah, my ex-wife
likes oranges,
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so I guess I'll make her
some orange juice.
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[chuckles]
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And I'll make it here
in her sawed-off leg bone.
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[both chuckle]
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That was lovely.
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[chuckles]
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Yup, all good things
must come to an end,
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like this filthy breakfast
and my marriage of 14 months.
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[both chuckle]
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Come on, Butt-Head.
This is getting too sad.
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[chuckles]
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Yeah.
[chuckles]
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"And now I filled
this backpack with rocks,
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and I'm just gonna go
walk into the ocean."
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[both chuckle]
- Yeah.
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"In the next episode, you'll
be seeing an outback funeral."
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[both chuckle]
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"Let me know if she's there."
[chuckles]
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"She'll probably cry,
and then she'll regret
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running off
with her college roommate."
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Yeah.
[both chuckle]
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She'll be like, "You know,
if I hadn't left him,
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"he'd still be alive and
cooking me a filthy breakfast
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on a rock."
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[both chuckle]
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"And don't forget,
if you like this video,
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can you please go
find my wife?"
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[both chuckle]
101
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Just smash
that find-my-wife button.
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[both chuckle]
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Go get me some yoga pants.
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Ooh, yeah.
[chuckles]
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Uh, here you go, Beavis.
[chuckles]
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Um, those look kind of small,
Butt-Head.
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Of course they look small, dumbass.
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That's because they, like,
stretch and stuff so that
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they can, like, rearrange
your butt or something.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense, yeah.
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[chuckles]
This is gonna be cool.
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[chuckles]
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- [slurps]
- Okay.
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I'll take these off.
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Here we go.
[chuckles]
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Ah.
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Hey, how's it going?
[chuckles]
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Hey, Butt-Head,
I'm, like, naked in a place
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that, like,
chicks have been naked in.
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Cool.
[chuckles]
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- Boing, oing, oing.
- [chuckles]
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Okay, okay.
[chuckles]
123
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- [slurps]
- Put these bad boys on.
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[chuckles]
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[grunting]
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[slurps]
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[grunting]
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About halfway there.
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[grunting]
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Son of a bitch!
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[elastic snaps]
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[sighs]
Okay.
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[chuckles]
Here we go.
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How do I look?
[chuckles]
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Uh, Beavis?
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Pretty sexy.
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[chuckles]
- Uh, Beavis?
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[chuckles]
- Yeah, I'd tap that.
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Yeah--ooh.
[chuckles]
140
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Uh, Beavis, it looks like
you don't have any nads.
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What?
What're you talking about?
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Or a schlong.
[chuckles]
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No way, Butt-Head.
My schlong is right--
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[screams]
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No, what happened to my nads?
- [chuckles]
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I know they're in there
'cause these pants
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are really making 'em hurt.
148
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Uh, you better take 'em off
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before any chicks see you, Beavis.
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That's embarrassing.
- [grunting]
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They won't come off,
Butt-Head.
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[grunts]
153
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My wiener's going numb.
[screaming]
154
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Just get ahold of yourself, Beavis.
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Hold of yourself.
[chuckles]
156
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I can't get 'em off.
Ahh!
157
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[grunting]
You gotta help me, Butt-Head.
158
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These pants are cutting off
oxygen to my schlong.
159
00:06:29,374 --> 00:06:33,247
Hmm, we need to find a place
that sells schlong oxygen.
160
00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:34,944
No, we gotta find something
to get 'em off
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before my wiener dies.
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Damn it.
[grumbles]
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We just need to,
like, oil 'em up,
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and then they'll
just slide right off.
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Now just wait over there.
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I'll be right back.
[chuckles]
167
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Care to try our new
olive oils from Tuscany?
168
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Okay, Beavis,
I got you some oil,
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and it has Tuscany in it.
170
00:06:56,836 --> 00:06:58,577
What's that?
171
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I don't know,
but it'll grease you up good.
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Open up your pants.
[chuckles]
173
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It's not working, Butt-Head.
174
00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:12,286
That's 'cause you need
some muscle, dumbass.
175
00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:14,201
Hold on to that thing,
and let a real man do this.
176
00:07:18,162 --> 00:07:20,120
Uh, Butt-Head, Butt-Head.
177
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:20,947
Butt-Head,
I'm starting to slip.
178
00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:23,080
Hold on, dumbass.
179
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- I can't.
- Almost got it.
180
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No, Butt-Head.
181
00:07:26,387 --> 00:07:27,562
No, no, no--oh, no!
182
00:07:27,649 --> 00:07:29,173
Ahh!
183
00:07:30,739 --> 00:07:33,916
[screaming]
184
00:07:41,185 --> 00:07:44,188
[chuckles]
That was cool.
185
00:07:44,275 --> 00:07:46,494
[chuckles]
186
00:07:46,581 --> 00:07:48,496
[grunts]
187
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I can't get up, Butt-Head.
188
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Ow, ah.
[grunting]
189
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:55,677
It just keeps going down.
190
00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:59,028
Uh, don't worry, Beavis.
I'm gonna go get help.
191
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Ow.
[grunting]
192
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:01,727
Going down.
[chuckles]
193
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,946
Oh, yeah.
[grunting]
194
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,470
Eh, but really, Butt-Head,
come on.
195
00:08:05,557 --> 00:08:07,863
Ah, ow, ah.
196
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,389
Uh, excuse me.
197
00:08:11,476 --> 00:08:13,130
We need help and stuff.
198
00:08:13,217 --> 00:08:14,087
What's the problem?
199
00:08:14,174 --> 00:08:18,047
Uh, my friend has no nads.
200
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[grunts]
Ah, ow, ah, ow, ah!
201
00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:23,618
Uh, he says he doesn't know
how to help you, Beavis.
202
00:08:23,705 --> 00:08:24,750
Damn it.
203
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:28,232
[grunting]
204
00:08:28,319 --> 00:08:30,625
Well, I'll see you at home.
205
00:08:30,712 --> 00:08:32,453
- [screams]
- Let me know how it turns out.
206
00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,542
[chuckles]
- Okay, see you later.
207
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:35,935
Damn it.
208
00:08:36,022 --> 00:08:39,112
Ah, ow.
Ah, ow.
209
00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,812
[grunting]
210
00:08:46,598 --> 00:08:47,512
Ah!
211
00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,992
Damn it.
212
00:08:52,604 --> 00:08:55,259
[snoring]
213
00:09:00,394 --> 00:09:02,483
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
214
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:03,963
[chuckles]
215
00:09:06,444 --> 00:09:07,662
[snoring]
216
00:09:07,749 --> 00:09:10,665
[coughs]
217
00:09:10,752 --> 00:09:13,364
[snoring]
218
00:09:30,772 --> 00:09:32,078
Chirp.