1 00:00:03,510 --> 00:00:06,426 [rock music] 2 00:00:06,513 --> 00:00:09,429 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:09,516 --> 00:00:12,214 [both chuckling] 4 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,307 That statue kicks ass. 5 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,353 Yeah, yeah. [both chuckle] 6 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,571 What kind of pants are those? 7 00:00:21,659 --> 00:00:23,399 They're yoga pants, dumbass. 8 00:00:23,486 --> 00:00:25,793 Everybody knows that. [chuckles] 9 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,317 Well, that statue sure looks good in those yoga pants. 10 00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:30,102 [chuckles] - It sure does. 11 00:00:30,189 --> 00:00:32,321 [chuckles] - [chuckles] 12 00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:35,629 Yoga pants. [chuckles] 13 00:00:35,716 --> 00:00:37,239 Mm. 14 00:00:37,326 --> 00:00:38,980 Um, Butt-Head? 15 00:00:39,067 --> 00:00:40,721 I wonder if I would look sexy in yoga pants. 16 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:41,983 [chuckles] Yeah. 17 00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,159 Everyone looks sexy in yoga pants. 18 00:00:44,246 --> 00:00:47,162 Yeah, except for you, Beavis, 19 00:00:47,249 --> 00:00:48,990 'cause you're disgusting. 20 00:00:49,077 --> 00:00:50,905 No way, Butt-Head. [chuckles] 21 00:00:50,992 --> 00:00:52,428 You heard what she said. 22 00:00:52,515 --> 00:00:54,213 I'm gonna listen to a chick and not you. 23 00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:55,823 [chuckles] 24 00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:57,695 I'm gonna go get some yoga pants, 25 00:00:57,782 --> 00:00:59,435 and then I shall score. 26 00:00:59,522 --> 00:01:01,437 [chuckles] 27 00:01:01,524 --> 00:01:03,309 [slurps] 28 00:01:04,353 --> 00:01:06,225 You've seen it before, but not on this scale. 29 00:01:06,312 --> 00:01:08,183 [laughs] 30 00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:11,404 I thought we all needed cheering up, myself included. 31 00:01:11,491 --> 00:01:13,667 So I know how you love a little bit of rock cooking. 32 00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:16,017 I thought I'd go OTT with it. 33 00:01:16,104 --> 00:01:18,498 You know--you know, Butt-Head, um, 34 00:01:18,585 --> 00:01:20,326 sometimes I worry that I'll never score, you know? 35 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,719 But, um-- 36 00:01:21,806 --> 00:01:24,591 but this guy will never score. 37 00:01:24,678 --> 00:01:27,072 Yeah, I don't see how he could. 38 00:01:27,159 --> 00:01:29,335 [chuckles] 39 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,684 Is this the outback or something? 40 00:01:30,771 --> 00:01:33,426 He's in the outback 41 00:01:33,513 --> 00:01:35,210 'cause his wife kicked him out, 42 00:01:35,297 --> 00:01:38,083 and now he's living out back behind his mom's house. 43 00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:40,694 [chuckles] 44 00:01:40,781 --> 00:01:43,566 "Mom, can I play breakfast in the backyard again?" 45 00:01:43,653 --> 00:01:45,917 [both chuckle] 46 00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:51,618 This guy's survival skill, is it, like, if he runs out 47 00:01:51,705 --> 00:01:54,316 of food, he just goes to his mom's house 48 00:01:54,403 --> 00:01:56,449 and gets a bunch of stuff out of the fridge? 49 00:01:56,536 --> 00:02:00,279 [both chuckle] 50 00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:02,237 And then he just goes into the backyard 51 00:02:02,324 --> 00:02:03,412 and cooks it all, yeah. 52 00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:05,284 [chuckles] 53 00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:06,589 On one of those tiles from the roof, yeah. 54 00:02:06,676 --> 00:02:08,417 [chuckles] 55 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,158 Why didn't he just, like, get some Froot Loops 56 00:02:10,245 --> 00:02:11,333 or something? 57 00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,901 [both chuckle] 58 00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:16,643 This breakfast is a cry for help. 59 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,341 [both chuckle] 60 00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:24,346 He made a face out of eggs and sausage 61 00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:25,521 'cause he's lonely. 62 00:02:25,608 --> 00:02:28,481 [both chuckle] 63 00:02:31,397 --> 00:02:33,225 "Let's make some pancake boobs here." 64 00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:36,184 [both chuckle] 65 00:02:36,271 --> 00:02:38,360 He's like, "I'm cooking for two 66 00:02:38,447 --> 00:02:41,407 "in case Jennifer comes back. Has anyone seen her? 67 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,018 No? Well, that means more for me." 68 00:02:44,105 --> 00:02:45,672 [chuckles] 69 00:02:45,759 --> 00:02:47,761 This is turning out to be a great day 70 00:02:47,848 --> 00:02:50,633 without Jennifer, and many more to come, yeah. 71 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,896 [chuckles] 72 00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:54,942 " Yeah, my ex-wife likes oranges, 73 00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:57,684 so I guess I'll make her some orange juice. 74 00:02:57,771 --> 00:02:59,642 [chuckles] 75 00:02:59,729 --> 00:03:01,644 And I'll make it here in her sawed-off leg bone. 76 00:03:01,731 --> 00:03:04,647 [both chuckle] 77 00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,651 That was lovely. 78 00:03:08,738 --> 00:03:10,436 [chuckles] 79 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,613 Yup, all good things must come to an end, 80 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:16,921 like this filthy breakfast and my marriage of 14 months. 81 00:03:17,008 --> 00:03:19,097 [both chuckle] 82 00:03:19,184 --> 00:03:21,055 Come on, Butt-Head. This is getting too sad. 83 00:03:21,142 --> 00:03:22,274 [chuckles] 84 00:03:22,361 --> 00:03:24,842 Yeah. [chuckles] 85 00:03:24,929 --> 00:03:27,061 "And now I filled this backpack with rocks, 86 00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:28,802 and I'm just gonna go walk into the ocean." 87 00:03:28,889 --> 00:03:32,850 [both chuckle] - Yeah. 88 00:03:32,937 --> 00:03:36,288 "In the next episode, you'll be seeing an outback funeral." 89 00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:39,813 [both chuckle] 90 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,207 "Let me know if she's there." [chuckles] 91 00:03:42,294 --> 00:03:44,600 "She'll probably cry, and then she'll regret 92 00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:46,472 running off with her college roommate." 93 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,604 Yeah. [both chuckle] 94 00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,172 She'll be like, "You know, if I hadn't left him, 95 00:03:51,259 --> 00:03:54,393 "he'd still be alive and cooking me a filthy breakfast 96 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,785 on a rock." 97 00:03:55,873 --> 00:03:57,570 [both chuckle] 98 00:03:57,657 --> 00:04:00,355 "And don't forget, if you like this video, 99 00:04:00,442 --> 00:04:01,617 can you please go find my wife?" 100 00:04:01,704 --> 00:04:03,402 [both chuckle] 101 00:04:03,489 --> 00:04:04,882 Just smash that find-my-wife button. 102 00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:08,102 [both chuckle] 103 00:04:10,235 --> 00:04:12,150 Go get me some yoga pants. 104 00:04:12,237 --> 00:04:14,804 Ooh, yeah. [chuckles] 105 00:04:14,892 --> 00:04:18,547 Uh, here you go, Beavis. [chuckles] 106 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:21,333 Um, those look kind of small, Butt-Head. 107 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,465 Of course they look small, dumbass. 108 00:04:23,552 --> 00:04:26,033 That's because they, like, stretch and stuff so that 109 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,775 they can, like, rearrange your butt or something. 110 00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:30,429 Oh, yeah, yeah. That makes sense, yeah. 111 00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:32,561 [chuckles] This is gonna be cool. 112 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,606 [chuckles] 113 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,827 - [slurps] - Okay. 114 00:04:37,915 --> 00:04:39,090 I'll take these off. 115 00:04:39,177 --> 00:04:40,961 Here we go. [chuckles] 116 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,267 Ah. 117 00:04:42,354 --> 00:04:44,660 Hey, how's it going? [chuckles] 118 00:04:44,747 --> 00:04:48,273 Hey, Butt-Head, I'm, like, naked in a place 119 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,971 that, like, chicks have been naked in. 120 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,668 Cool. [chuckles] 121 00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:55,236 - Boing, oing, oing. - [chuckles] 122 00:04:55,323 --> 00:04:56,629 Okay, okay. [chuckles] 123 00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,544 - [slurps] - Put these bad boys on. 124 00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,632 [chuckles] 125 00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:02,635 [grunting] 126 00:05:09,903 --> 00:05:12,819 [slurps] 127 00:05:12,906 --> 00:05:16,083 [grunting] 128 00:05:19,957 --> 00:05:21,741 About halfway there. 129 00:05:21,828 --> 00:05:24,352 [grunting] 130 00:05:24,439 --> 00:05:25,658 Son of a bitch! 131 00:05:25,745 --> 00:05:26,833 [elastic snaps] 132 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,443 [sighs] Okay. 133 00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,010 [chuckles] Here we go. 134 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,794 How do I look? [chuckles] 135 00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:35,711 Uh, Beavis? 136 00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:37,931 Pretty sexy. 137 00:05:38,018 --> 00:05:40,368 [chuckles] - Uh, Beavis? 138 00:05:40,455 --> 00:05:41,630 [chuckles] - Yeah, I'd tap that. 139 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,241 Yeah--ooh. [chuckles] 140 00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:47,375 Uh, Beavis, it looks like you don't have any nads. 141 00:05:47,462 --> 00:05:48,246 What? What're you talking about? 142 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,552 Or a schlong. [chuckles] 143 00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,206 No way, Butt-Head. My schlong is right-- 144 00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:55,514 [screams] 145 00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:56,732 No, what happened to my nads? - [chuckles] 146 00:05:56,819 --> 00:05:58,604 I know they're in there 'cause these pants 147 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,085 are really making 'em hurt. 148 00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:02,825 Uh, you better take 'em off 149 00:06:02,912 --> 00:06:04,740 before any chicks see you, Beavis. 150 00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,265 That's embarrassing. - [grunting] 151 00:06:07,352 --> 00:06:08,483 They won't come off, Butt-Head. 152 00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:09,745 [grunts] 153 00:06:09,832 --> 00:06:11,399 My wiener's going numb. [screaming] 154 00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:15,099 Just get ahold of yourself, Beavis. 155 00:06:15,186 --> 00:06:17,144 Hold of yourself. [chuckles] 156 00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:19,103 I can't get 'em off. Ahh! 157 00:06:24,195 --> 00:06:25,674 [grunting] You gotta help me, Butt-Head. 158 00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:29,287 These pants are cutting off oxygen to my schlong. 159 00:06:29,374 --> 00:06:33,247 Hmm, we need to find a place that sells schlong oxygen. 160 00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:34,944 No, we gotta find something to get 'em off 161 00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:36,990 before my wiener dies. 162 00:06:37,077 --> 00:06:38,165 Damn it. [grumbles] 163 00:06:38,252 --> 00:06:40,733 We just need to, like, oil 'em up, 164 00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,778 and then they'll just slide right off. 165 00:06:42,865 --> 00:06:45,042 Now just wait over there. 166 00:06:45,129 --> 00:06:48,349 I'll be right back. [chuckles] 167 00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:52,353 Care to try our new olive oils from Tuscany? 168 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,442 Okay, Beavis, I got you some oil, 169 00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:56,749 and it has Tuscany in it. 170 00:06:56,836 --> 00:06:58,577 What's that? 171 00:06:58,664 --> 00:07:00,622 I don't know, but it'll grease you up good. 172 00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,755 Open up your pants. [chuckles] 173 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,588 It's not working, Butt-Head. 174 00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:12,286 That's 'cause you need some muscle, dumbass. 175 00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:14,201 Hold on to that thing, and let a real man do this. 176 00:07:18,162 --> 00:07:20,120 Uh, Butt-Head, Butt-Head. 177 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:20,947 Butt-Head, I'm starting to slip. 178 00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:23,080 Hold on, dumbass. 179 00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,603 - I can't. - Almost got it. 180 00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,300 No, Butt-Head. 181 00:07:26,387 --> 00:07:27,562 No, no, no--oh, no! 182 00:07:27,649 --> 00:07:29,173 Ahh! 183 00:07:30,739 --> 00:07:33,916 [screaming] 184 00:07:41,185 --> 00:07:44,188 [chuckles] That was cool. 185 00:07:44,275 --> 00:07:46,494 [chuckles] 186 00:07:46,581 --> 00:07:48,496 [grunts] 187 00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,150 I can't get up, Butt-Head. 188 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,892 Ow, ah. [grunting] 189 00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:55,677 It just keeps going down. 190 00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:59,028 Uh, don't worry, Beavis. I'm gonna go get help. 191 00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:00,247 Ow. [grunting] 192 00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:01,727 Going down. [chuckles] 193 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,946 Oh, yeah. [grunting] 194 00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,470 Eh, but really, Butt-Head, come on. 195 00:08:05,557 --> 00:08:07,863 Ah, ow, ah. 196 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,389 Uh, excuse me. 197 00:08:11,476 --> 00:08:13,130 We need help and stuff. 198 00:08:13,217 --> 00:08:14,087 What's the problem? 199 00:08:14,174 --> 00:08:18,047 Uh, my friend has no nads. 200 00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:21,921 [grunts] Ah, ow, ah, ow, ah! 201 00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:23,618 Uh, he says he doesn't know how to help you, Beavis. 202 00:08:23,705 --> 00:08:24,750 Damn it. 203 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:28,232 [grunting] 204 00:08:28,319 --> 00:08:30,625 Well, I'll see you at home. 205 00:08:30,712 --> 00:08:32,453 - [screams] - Let me know how it turns out. 206 00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,542 [chuckles] - Okay, see you later. 207 00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:35,935 Damn it. 208 00:08:36,022 --> 00:08:39,112 Ah, ow. Ah, ow. 209 00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,812 [grunting] 210 00:08:46,598 --> 00:08:47,512 Ah! 211 00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,992 Damn it. 212 00:08:52,604 --> 00:08:55,259 [snoring] 213 00:09:00,394 --> 00:09:02,483 - Good morning. - Good morning. 214 00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:03,963 [chuckles] 215 00:09:06,444 --> 00:09:07,662 [snoring] 216 00:09:07,749 --> 00:09:10,665 [coughs] 217 00:09:10,752 --> 00:09:13,364 [snoring] 218 00:09:30,772 --> 00:09:32,078 Chirp.