1 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:12,679 [Gomez] It's really weird. I don't live a normal life. 2 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,057 I do normal things. 3 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,227 I'm very normal, but I don't live a normal life. 4 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,396 Selena Gomez is the most followed person on Instagram. 5 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,650 [reporter 1] Time magazine's 100 most influential people in the world. 6 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,318 [reporter 2] Selena Gomez was presented 7 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,570 with the Billboard Woman of the Year award. 8 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,989 -That's pretty cool. How does that feel? -It's incredible. 9 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,910 Having all of the success early on was a lot, 10 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:39,206 but I started to recognize that with the platform that I had been given, 11 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:43,961 I was able to shift that light into what I really care about. 12 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,088 -[writer 1] Dear Selena… -Dear Selena… 13 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,631 You extended your platform 14 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:52,219 to lift up the voices of Black leaders engaged in social justice work. 15 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,846 By sharing your story, 16 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:57,432 you've given millions of people hope of recovery. 17 00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,978 Definitely believe I'm here for a reason that's much bigger than myself. 18 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:05,774 Thank you for helping to give me a voice that I can lend to others. 19 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:09,027 [writer 2] Your courage inspired me to do something too. 20 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:12,781 [Gomez] I'm here to experience life, to share that life 21 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:17,578 and hopefully allow people to believe in something bigger 22 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,538 and hopefully make them feel loved. 23 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,790 [writer 3] Dear Selena… 24 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,155 [Gomez] As a kid, I always was like, "There's more." 25 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:58,619 I kept saying, "There's definitely more and I want to see it and I wanna do it." 26 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:04,666 Growing up in Texas, my mom would take me to museums and plays. 27 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:09,086 And she just had this effortless imagination, 28 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,007 and she wanted me to have that growing up. 29 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:16,428 And I am grateful for that, because now my whole life is make-believe. 30 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,390 As a kid, I loved acting. 31 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,060 I kind of look at my older stuff and just laugh, 32 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,730 'cause I was just a kid trying, you know? 33 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:30,150 I got majorly made fun of, 'cause how could you not? 34 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,364 I'm rubber, you're glue. Take her smell and put it on you. 35 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:39,451 It was a huge part of my life that shaped me. 36 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,037 It was just so pure. 37 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,121 I'm home. 38 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,581 And I learned so much. 39 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,376 All the good and the bad that came with it. 40 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,503 Because during that time, 41 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:56,552 there became this, uh, interest in my life that I wasn't pretty stoked about. 42 00:02:56,635 --> 00:03:00,180 -[security] Give us room to walk, please. -[paparazzi clamoring] 43 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:03,725 The media and the press just started getting overwhelming. 44 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,687 There would be photographers that would show up on set, 45 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,939 and I-I would get very nervous. 46 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,401 I was very anxious experiencing that for the first time. 47 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,319 I didn't wanna be a headline. 48 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,321 Is it hard being under the spotlight the way you are? 49 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,657 Everything in your life, your social life, uh, 50 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,534 where you go, what you're doing. 51 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:24,538 -You're always being watched. -Yeah. It's a little frustrating at times. 52 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,040 [Gomez] This turn happened 53 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:30,919 and people started using my personal life a lot more. 54 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:34,256 And it took me years to kind of shift that light 55 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,383 back into what I really care about. 56 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,760 [crowd cheering] 57 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,973 I think, when you sign up for Disney, 58 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:48,187 you are acknowledging that you are a role model for children. 59 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,106 I was a bit-- I don't want to say controlled. 60 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:54,985 But monitored, if you will, with the material that I had. 61 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,070 And I was very limited. 62 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,822 [gasps] You look just like her. 63 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,824 But then, you know, I got older. 64 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:04,119 So naturally, I wanted to-- to become older. 65 00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:05,996 Give it to me. Stop! 66 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,248 But I lived with the thought of 67 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:11,710 "I'm gonna lose everything if I said this or did this. 68 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,129 Nobody would view me the same way." 69 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:18,132 But also, at the same time, if I was gonna grow as an artist, 70 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,302 I had to make those decisions. 71 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:24,681 ♪ 'Cause I just wanna look good for you Good for you ♪ 72 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:30,521 I released Revival, which was my first record with Interscope. 73 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,898 ♪ Let me show you how proud I am To be yours ♪ 74 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:38,570 I called the album Revival because I was in a revival. 75 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,533 ♪Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh ♪ 76 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,827 ♪ Can't keep my hands to myself ♪ 77 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:49,122 I felt like, "Okay, wow. I can actually say these things, 78 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,458 and it's okay now. So I'm gonna just talk about it." 79 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:54,253 -[doorbell rings] -♪ I want you all to myself ♪ 80 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:58,841 It was that turning point of, "We actually hear her as a woman. 81 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,677 A young woman who's growing into her own, 82 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,888 who is no longer this, like, little girl." 83 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,977 ♪ All of the downs and the uppers Keep making love to each other ♪ 84 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:14,898 It was my first time being sassy and sexy. 85 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:19,987 It helped me grow. It helped me be seen in a different light. 86 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:25,701 So Revival was me feeling this sense of power 87 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,202 over myself. 88 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:30,581 And the American Music Award goes to… 89 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,332 -Selena Gomez! -[audience cheering] 90 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:35,586 The iHeartRadio Music Award goes to… 91 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,713 Selena Gomez. 92 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:43,218 I was having all of this success, but I wasn't okay. 93 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,013 I didn't know why, 94 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:51,393 but I knew that I felt things much more intensely than other people. 95 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,812 -Do you feel like you got caught up in-- -[Gomez] No. 96 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,940 It was me almost feeling guilty about fame. 97 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,443 'Cause people can see anyone in my position and just say, 98 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:03,822 "Wow, they have it all figured out. They get to live this cool life." 99 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:06,408 So privately, it's a whole different feeling? 100 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,493 [Gomez] Yes. You're isolated. You're-- 101 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,371 You're being looked at. You're being judged. 102 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,583 There's not a worse feeling in the world. 103 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,965 And I learned mental health is just as important as physical health. 104 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:27,387 That has allowed me to have an immense amount of empathy 105 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,765 and compassion for people who are hurting. 106 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:36,021 Because I know a little bit of that, and I know what that feels like. 107 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:39,566 People do say that music is the universal language. 108 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:43,111 As far as language barriers, they almost don't exist. 109 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,532 So it's a huge, huge connection and lifeline 110 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,200 to me and the people that I love. 111 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,883 Dear Selena, 112 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,303 I'm in Bogotá, Colombia, the city where I was born. 113 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,849 [together] "I'm from a very close Latina family. 114 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,559 I had a great childhood." 115 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,479 But when I was in high school, I started to get sick. 116 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,898 [school bell rings] 117 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,573 [writer 1] Dear Selena, I'm from Sayville, New York. 118 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,117 Growing up there was stifling. 119 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:35,914 Somehow, I became the kid that everyone bullied from a very young age. 120 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:39,001 [together] "So young that I can't even remember when it started." 121 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:43,630 Being fearful about what's going to happen next, 122 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:47,176 who's going to hurt you, became years of my life. 123 00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:51,763 Finally, in ninth grade, I started therapy. 124 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:56,059 My doctor said to me, "You know, you have an anxiety disorder." 125 00:07:56,685 --> 00:08:00,397 [writer 3] I remember my mom and I driving all over the city 126 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,526 to different doctors and homeopaths to try and figure out what was wrong. 127 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:07,404 But even after my diagnosis of depression, 128 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,449 my mom would still only call it "deep sadness," 129 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,744 because no one wants to talk about these things in Colombia. 130 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,874 [writer 1] My family has always been very supportive, 131 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:22,503 but it's hard for people who don't struggle with these issues 132 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,880 to really understand them. 133 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,425 They don't know what it's like to feel like you can't breathe 134 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:32,596 and the walls are closing in around you when you're having a panic attack. 135 00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:36,892 [writer 3] A few years later, I had to come home from college. 136 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,229 [together] "I just went into this deep, terrible hole." 137 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,232 I couldn't do anything by myself. 138 00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:44,733 I couldn't sleep alone. 139 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,693 I couldn't go to the bathroom alone. 140 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:47,903 I couldn't drive. 141 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:53,408 I had to have at-home psychiatry treatment because I couldn't even leave my house. 142 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:58,205 Later that same year, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. 143 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,416 My body became another enemy of my mind. 144 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,294 That was my breaking point. 145 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,129 I attempted suicide. 146 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,720 [writer 1] I went to college at Virginia Tech, which is a huge school. 147 00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,722 35,000 people. 148 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:19,351 It was really crazy to be this kid from a small town 149 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,144 among all of these people, 150 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,522 and sometimes I'd get anxious. 151 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,691 I'd always been a fan of yours. 152 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,694 So whenever I'd feel that anxiety coming on, 153 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,988 I'd put on your album, Revival, 154 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,365 and it would always make me feel better. 155 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,409 -[audience cheering] -Selena Gomez! 156 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:40,330 Then I saw your acceptance speech at the American Music Awards. 157 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:45,586 I had everything, and I was absolutely broken inside. 158 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:48,463 You talked about your own struggles with mental health, 159 00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:51,133 -and you said… -[together] "If you are broken…" 160 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,926 …you do not have to stay broken. 161 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,511 [cheering] 162 00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,890 Mind blown. 163 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:01,810 Here you were, this hugely famous person, 164 00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:06,148 saying, "I went through this and came out whole on the other side." 165 00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:10,402 [together] "I felt like your words perfectly summed up my feelings." 166 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:14,740 It made me think I want to do more. 167 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:18,785 [writer 3] Selena, you were so transparent about your journey. 168 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,621 It was a conversation starter. 169 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,122 It helped a lot. 170 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,166 And it got me thinking. 171 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:27,753 I wanted to do something to make people in Colombia realize 172 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,964 that therapy is not something to be ashamed of. 173 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:34,635 I started writing about my issues and publishing articles online 174 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:39,056 as a way to heal myself and find some order in the chaos. 175 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,059 My senior year, I ran for the homecoming court. 176 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:46,855 Everyone is required to run on a platform, and I chose suicide prevention. 177 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,734 I had to walk out in front of 60,000 people 178 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:55,072 and have my name announced in conjunction with suicide prevention. 179 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,114 [announcer] And Jake Vail… 180 00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,950 -[cheering] -…escorted by Faye Vail. 181 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,994 [Jake] Me, the shy boy with the anxiety disorder. 182 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:04,623 But, Selena, your willingness to risk judgment 183 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,543 in talking about treatment was a guiding light 184 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:11,505 in my willingness to risk being flooded with crippling anxiety 185 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,715 to help fellow sufferers. 186 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:17,094 [together] "It was time to not let fear rule my life." 187 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,600 [writer 3] I feel seen by the world again. 188 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,937 Like I'm not hiding behind a mental illness diagnosis. 189 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:31,817 Now I'm a psychologist myself and a passionate mental health activist. 190 00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:36,947 I'm in grad school where I'm continuing to advocate for mental health. 191 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,449 I'm able to spread your message now. 192 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,994 I have friends from all over the world. 193 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:46,206 I am so grateful to you, Selena, 194 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:51,461 for giving me and the world hope by sharing your struggles. 195 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,966 Selena, thank you for showing people that recovery is possible 196 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,927 and that help is available if you want to reach for it. 197 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:02,514 I love this. 198 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:12,065 I went to an eye appointment when I was younger, 199 00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:15,110 and when you go to the doctor, 200 00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:18,488 they always check your blood pressure, temperature, all that. 201 00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:22,618 And my blood pressure was 155 over 100, 202 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:27,581 and they said, "This actually requires you to go to the emergency room." 203 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,167 They run a few tests on me. 204 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,127 I had to stay there overnight. 205 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:38,926 And all of that ended up coming down to I have lupus. 206 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,928 I didn't quite understand what that meant. 207 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,930 I know I had an autoimmune disease. 208 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:47,976 It was just my body fighting itself on the inside. 209 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,895 How you guys doing? 210 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,855 [cheering] 211 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:57,152 And that was the most surreal part because, well, I had never felt fatigue. 212 00:12:57,236 --> 00:13:00,280 I was young. I felt completely fine. 213 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:01,949 ♪ And it's not even my birthday ♪ 214 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:04,243 So, hearing from a doctor that, "Oh, you know, 215 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:07,371 you could have had a stroke on stage. You could have died." 216 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:13,335 It was a lot, but I didn't allow it to sink in. 217 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,920 I didn't want to process it. 218 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:21,718 My weight would constantly fluctuate 'cause I would be on certain medications. 219 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:26,098 And obviously people just ran with it. 220 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:30,561 It was like they couldn't wait to find a thing to bring me down. 221 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:38,569 I was being shamed for gaining weight because of my lupus. 222 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:43,615 I lied. I would go online, and I would post a picture of myself, 223 00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:45,742 and I would say "It doesn't matter." 224 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,872 "I'm not accepting what you're saying." 225 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:52,332 All the while being in the room, posting that, 226 00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:56,170 crying my eyes out because nobody deserves to hear those things. 227 00:13:57,171 --> 00:14:01,300 Though I was posting these things saying, "It doesn't bother me," 228 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,844 because I didn't want it to bother other people 229 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,597 who are experiencing the same thing. 230 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:11,018 Getting shamed for what they look like, who they are, who they love. 231 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,146 I just think it's so unfair. 232 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:18,650 I don't think that anybody deserves to feel less than. 233 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,486 [photographers clamoring] Selena. Turn your head, Selena. 234 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,948 [Gomez] In my early 20s, my lupus got really bad, 235 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:30,495 and it was now attacking my kidneys intensely. 236 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:35,083 It was scary, 'cause then it was, 237 00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:38,712 "Okay, well, now you have to have a kidney transplant." 238 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,759 I was terrified for my life completely. 239 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,303 I know that there's crazy waiting lists. 240 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,597 I know that it's an insane process. 241 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:53,101 I-- I know that that would require so much from me 242 00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:55,938 that I wasn't sure I was prepared to do. 243 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:58,732 One day, she came home and just started crying. 244 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,400 And I said, "What's wrong?" 245 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:01,818 And that's when she told me. 246 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:05,239 And she goes, "I don't know what to do. The list is seven to ten years long." 247 00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:08,700 And it just vomited out of me. I was like, "Of course I'll get tested." 248 00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:11,578 My best friend, her name is Francia. 249 00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,956 She said, "No, I'm absolutely getting tested." 250 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:17,459 So within three days, she went to go do it, and she was a match. 251 00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:24,675 And it was one of those moments where I felt watched over. 252 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,846 I know I was so, so, so lucky. 253 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,682 I understand that that doesn't happen for a lot of people, 254 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:37,729 and I know the outcome of some of those situations and how serious they are. 255 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:41,608 So I do not take it lightly that it's happened to me that way. 256 00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,569 -[crowd applauding] -To be honest, 257 00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,612 I think Francia should be getting this award… 258 00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:50,033 [inhales shakily] …um, 'cause she saved my life. [sniffles] 259 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:52,327 Sorry. 260 00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:53,704 [crowd cheering] 261 00:15:53,787 --> 00:16:00,752 I will never ever, ever be more in debt to a person than Francia. 262 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:07,968 The idea of someone not even second-guessing to be a donor 263 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:10,679 was unbelievably overwhelming. 264 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:14,141 I got a tattoo with her actually. 265 00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:17,853 And it is the date we did the kidney transplant. 266 00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:22,482 I think it had to happen the way that it did 267 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,652 in order for me to get to where I am. 268 00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:31,283 I was meant to go through it to do something for others. 269 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,168 Dear Selena, 270 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:44,421 We have a bond that runs deep in our veins. 271 00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:47,382 [together] "I'm from Texas like you, Selena." 272 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:51,261 And I just moved to Southern California with my new husband and young daughter 273 00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:56,767 about 20 years ago to teach ESL, math and science to international students. 274 00:16:57,267 --> 00:17:02,064 My life felt complete, but then it took a sharp left turn. 275 00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:05,442 I started experiencing strange symptoms. 276 00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:08,529 I was disoriented, couldn't think straight. 277 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,280 My hair was falling out. 278 00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,782 I suddenly gained all this weight. 279 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:16,161 Time went on, and nothing got better. 280 00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:19,790 Fortunately for me, I studied biology, 281 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:23,167 so I knew enough to start doing my own research. 282 00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:27,214 Looking at all my symptoms, comparing them to my findings, 283 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,092 I demanded to see a rheumatologist. 284 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:34,930 Now, Selena, I don't know how you felt when you received the diagnosis. 285 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,224 I was relieved. 286 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,685 [together] "At least my condition had a name." 287 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,228 Lupus. 288 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,483 Lupus is the invisible disease. 289 00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:50,821 We don't look like there's anything wrong with us. 290 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:55,075 We look normal, cute, fabulous even. 291 00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,661 I mean, look at you on the red carpet. 292 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,163 I'm sure you heard things like, 293 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:03,834 [together] "'Is she really sick? She looks fine to me.' 294 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,252 And we are." 295 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,587 Until we're not. 296 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:12,259 I had a flare-up that led to six months in the ICU. 297 00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:16,013 Because my lupus is systemic, it attacked my kidneys. 298 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:19,433 I spent nine years on dialysis. 299 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:23,770 That leads me to the second biggest thing you and I have in common, Selena. 300 00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:26,607 We both have had a kidney transplant. 301 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,526 Wow. 302 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:32,446 You being vocal about the disease is so important. 303 00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:37,284 As you know, the Latino and Black communities are hit the hardest. 304 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,370 It's so important that we have the information we need 305 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:42,748 to get people the care they deserve. 306 00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:47,002 So now, I work for the Lupus Foundation of America. 307 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:53,967 One of my favorite events we host is the annual gala called An Evening of Hope. 308 00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:59,723 It gives our lupus community the support I wished I had when I was first diagnosed. 309 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,018 [together] "It's the hottest party of the year. 310 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:03,936 Like you…" 311 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:05,938 I've become a face for lupus. 312 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,982 I was part of the first national ad campaign 313 00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:11,443 to bring awareness to our disease. 314 00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:17,115 But we know that what we're doing is so much bigger than us. 315 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:21,161 Thank you for speaking out about our condition, Selena. 316 00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:23,789 Lupus is a ferocious enemy, 317 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:27,501 but I'm honored to join you in the fight. 318 00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:31,463 Wow. That's not what I was expecting. 319 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,051 That's amazing, Wendy. 320 00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:39,012 I don't know what to say. Thank you. 321 00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:45,811 ♪ Baby, baby You've been so distant… ♪ 322 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,355 I'm very vulnerable. I'm very emotional. 323 00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:52,526 Songwriting can bring up so many different feelings. 324 00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:57,197 It is cathartic. It is something that I almost have to do. 325 00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:59,616 It's a way of expression. 326 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,744 ♪ Saw us getting older, older Burning toast in the toaster ♪ 327 00:20:02,828 --> 00:20:05,455 So even if I'm doing an upbeat song, 328 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:10,169 there tends to be a little bit of darkness in it. 329 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,004 And I'm okay with that. 330 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:17,593 I like that there is this substance to my music where people are wondering, 331 00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,344 "Okay, well what's that about?" 332 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:21,972 And then having them figure it out. 333 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,767 Surprisingly, they're usually right. 334 00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:30,898 Hey, um, I wanted to take time to do a quick message for you guys, 335 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:34,359 um, because I haven't been posting that much. 336 00:20:34,443 --> 00:20:38,113 I have a very big love-hate relationship with social media. 337 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,116 But during this past election, 338 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,786 I couldn't have been happier to have my platform. 339 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:47,039 [protesters] No justice, no peace! 340 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:50,751 No justice, no peace! 341 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:55,756 A lot of interesting things started happening in the world and in our country. 342 00:20:55,839 --> 00:21:01,303 And it was repulsive. It was dangerous. 343 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:05,599 It was very alarming, and it had a lot to do with color. 344 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:12,105 I needed to know how I could fix anything. 345 00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:17,319 But those voices that needed to be heard wasn't mine. 346 00:21:18,529 --> 00:21:20,531 But I had this space. 347 00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:22,574 My name is Ruby Bridges, 348 00:21:22,658 --> 00:21:26,328 and I just want to take a moment to thank Selena 349 00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:30,832 for this amazing opportunity to speak to you directly. 350 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:36,088 So, I decided to hand my platform over 351 00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:40,843 to people that have walked that life, 352 00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:42,594 that do know. 353 00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:45,264 We believe that papers don't determine your humanity 354 00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:47,933 and that race doesn't determine your value. 355 00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:50,602 And I couldn't have been more happy about it, 356 00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:52,604 because I was able to learn. 357 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:59,194 That, to me, made me more excited to fight for what I believed in. 358 00:22:05,993 --> 00:22:07,369 Dear Selena, 359 00:22:08,537 --> 00:22:10,956 You know that I have been an activist 360 00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:15,502 fighting in the name of the dignity and honor of Black transgender people 361 00:22:15,586 --> 00:22:17,004 throughout my career. 362 00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:22,426 Fresh out of college, I was a reporter for a small newspaper 363 00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:24,178 in my home state of Georgia. 364 00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:29,349 As you can imagine, back then, there was little space for me to show up 365 00:22:29,433 --> 00:22:33,437 in all of my glory and authenticity as a trans person. 366 00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:37,816 [together] "Transgender people are still so deeply discriminated against 367 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,526 in our society." 368 00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:42,237 Our experiences are diminished in the workplace, 369 00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:44,448 and schools, and government, 370 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:47,284 and even in our own homes and communities. 371 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:52,664 I knew I had to advocate for and be in service to the trans community. 372 00:22:53,332 --> 00:22:57,211 So, I began to work with community organizers in Atlanta. 373 00:22:57,836 --> 00:23:01,840 I became a national organizer for the Transgender Law Center, 374 00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:05,385 which is the country's largest trans-led organization. 375 00:23:05,469 --> 00:23:10,307 In 2018, I became executive editor of Out magazine, 376 00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:12,351 [together] "…where I was the first trans person 377 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:15,354 in a leadership role at the publication." 378 00:23:16,188 --> 00:23:20,192 [Willis] I was so glad to be able to expand the narrative of our community. 379 00:23:22,653 --> 00:23:26,156 Selena, I have always felt that you were such a bright light. 380 00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:30,160 Before most people were sharing the mic as a part of a trend, 381 00:23:30,244 --> 00:23:32,913 you extended your platform to lift up the voice 382 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:36,250 of the Black leaders engaged in social justice work. 383 00:23:36,333 --> 00:23:40,003 -[protester] Whose streets? Whose streets? -[protesters] Our streets! Our streets! 384 00:23:40,087 --> 00:23:41,755 [Willis] For Black trans people, 385 00:23:41,839 --> 00:23:45,717 not only are we facing the constant threat of state violence, 386 00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:49,346 but also violence and discrimination in our own communities. 387 00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:52,891 On June 13th of 2020, 388 00:23:52,975 --> 00:23:56,186 you gave me the opportunity to take over your Instagram. 389 00:23:56,270 --> 00:23:58,730 Now, I knew this was no small feat. 390 00:23:58,814 --> 00:24:01,859 After all, you have a massive global audience 391 00:24:01,942 --> 00:24:06,071 with one of the largest followings ever on Instagram. 392 00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:09,658 I was able to share the history of Black trans activists 393 00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:12,744 like Marsha P. Johnson and Miss Major. 394 00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:17,249 I was able to share a resource list that was compiled by community members 395 00:24:17,332 --> 00:24:20,836 of other Black trans leaders and organizations. 396 00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:23,297 [together] "It wasn't just an elevation of me. 397 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:25,716 It was an elevation of our movement." 398 00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:28,343 In the wake of taking over your IG, 399 00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:30,929 I was able to use my expanded platform 400 00:24:31,013 --> 00:24:35,934 to support the organizing efforts of a historical march here in Brooklyn. 401 00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:39,229 [protesters] Justice! Now! 402 00:24:39,313 --> 00:24:41,440 [Willis] We called it Brooklyn Liberation, 403 00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:45,861 and it was focused on honoring the lives of Black trans people that we've lost. 404 00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:48,113 I believe in your power. 405 00:24:48,197 --> 00:24:50,532 [protesters] I believe in your power. 406 00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:53,327 -I believe in our power. -[protesters] I believe… 407 00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:57,372 [Willis] It was the first time there was ever that large of a crowd. 408 00:24:57,456 --> 00:25:01,627 15,000 people specifically gathered for Black trans folks. 409 00:25:01,710 --> 00:25:05,380 I believe in Black trans power. 410 00:25:05,464 --> 00:25:08,592 [protesters] I believe in Black trans power. 411 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,886 [protesters cheering, applauding] 412 00:25:15,891 --> 00:25:17,768 It was an unprecedented moment 413 00:25:17,851 --> 00:25:21,188 that I will never forget for the rest of my life. 414 00:25:21,271 --> 00:25:24,983 [together] "Liberating Black trans people liberates everybody." 415 00:25:25,651 --> 00:25:29,738 Selena, thank you for modeling what it means to be a leader 416 00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:34,826 and springing into action in a moment when Black trans folks needed you most. 417 00:25:34,910 --> 00:25:37,204 [protesters] Till we win. Till we win. 418 00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,373 Look, we're matching. 419 00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:42,584 You know, I'd never wanted to be this untouchable thing. 420 00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:46,296 My mom had always taught me that there's no one bigger, 421 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:48,298 there's no one better, there's no one worse. 422 00:25:48,382 --> 00:25:51,969 It's all the same, but we all just grew up differently. 423 00:25:52,678 --> 00:25:54,096 That's how I view my life. 424 00:25:55,055 --> 00:25:58,225 That's why my meet-and-greets are meant to be an hour and a half, 425 00:25:58,308 --> 00:26:00,310 but usually are three hours long. 426 00:26:00,394 --> 00:26:04,189 And I'm not saying that as a lie. You could actually find that out. 427 00:26:04,898 --> 00:26:09,236 It's because I can have these conversations with my fans 428 00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:11,446 that I don't think I would be able to have 429 00:26:11,530 --> 00:26:15,117 if I was just this perfect, put-together person. 430 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:19,371 And it's not just fans. It's people. 431 00:26:19,454 --> 00:26:22,040 And I have a heart for people. 432 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:25,836 Selena, without your example, 433 00:26:25,919 --> 00:26:29,548 I wouldn't have had the tools I needed to speak out about this. 434 00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:33,010 I thank you deeply for making the struggles of many of us 435 00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:36,346 who feel like our bodies and our minds are beyond our control visible. 436 00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:38,473 Love, Raquel. 437 00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:40,851 Sincerely, Wendy. 438 00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:43,353 Sending you much love, Mariana. 439 00:26:43,437 --> 00:26:45,689 With admiration, Jake. 440 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:51,528 I just use everything that I have and do goodness with what I have. 441 00:26:51,612 --> 00:26:55,115 That's the part that I've found real joy in.