1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:02,837
THERAPIST:
How are you both?
2
00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,506
DANNY: Great.
CLARE: Fine.
3
00:00:04,506 --> 00:00:05,465
Good.
4
00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,842
Danny blasted porn
on the Bluetooth speaker--
5
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:10,554
Clare's vibrator literally
melted from overuse.
6
00:00:10,554 --> 00:00:11,930
♪
7
00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:13,390
CLARE:
My life is a mess.
8
00:00:13,390 --> 00:00:15,809
My husband kicked me out
a few days ago.
9
00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:18,770
My daughter hates me.
[gasps]
10
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:20,355
- Oh, my God.
- Mom!
11
00:00:20,355 --> 00:00:21,815
A threesome is a big leap.
12
00:00:21,815 --> 00:00:25,235
Maybe you were subconsciously
worried about our little threesome?
13
00:00:25,235 --> 00:00:27,320
- What?
- Me and you and Dad.
14
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,196
Ew!
15
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,949
♪
16
00:00:30,949 --> 00:00:32,909
CLARE:
What would I tell
17
00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:35,787
my 22-year-old self?
18
00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:37,539
Don't take your mom for granted.
19
00:00:37,539 --> 00:00:39,583
She won't be here forever.
20
00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:41,543
♪
21
00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:43,920
What does it mean to heal?
To move on?
22
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,131
To let go?
23
00:00:46,131 --> 00:00:48,675
♪
24
00:00:49,426 --> 00:00:51,761
Why can't you make new friends?
Like what happened to Bethany?
25
00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:54,139
Bethany had anal sex
on a Greyhound going to Reno.
26
00:00:54,139 --> 00:00:55,473
- What?
- Yeah.
27
00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,934
Why would she want to take
a bus to Reno?
28
00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:02,188
[keyboard clicking]
29
00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:03,481
WOMAN:
Dear Sugar,
30
00:01:04,274 --> 00:01:06,151
I've never written a fan letter before,
31
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:09,905
but I read your advice column religiously.
32
00:01:11,281 --> 00:01:14,284
Probably because
given the state of my life,
33
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:16,286
I could use some advice.
34
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:19,289
♪ Where they at? Where they at?
Where they at? Where they at? ♪
35
00:01:19,289 --> 00:01:21,791
♪ Where they at? Where they at?
Where they at? Come on now ♪
36
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,710
♪ If you wanna go
and take a ride with me ♪
37
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:26,421
[woman singing along]
♪ We three-wheeling
in the fo' with the gold D's ♪
38
00:01:26,421 --> 00:01:29,174
♪ Oh, why do I live this way? ♪
39
00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:31,218
♪ Hey, must be the money ♪
40
00:01:31,218 --> 00:01:33,345
♪ If you wanna go and get high with me ♪
41
00:01:33,345 --> 00:01:35,180
♪ Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E... ♪
42
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:38,600
[woman humming]
43
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,518
♪ Oh, must be the money ♪
44
00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:43,688
WOMAN:
Which house is it again, dear?
45
00:01:47,442 --> 00:01:49,569
- Uh.
- Who can't find their way home?
46
00:01:49,569 --> 00:01:52,155
Oh, that's it.
That's the one, that's right there.
47
00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:55,951
Great job.
[continues singing]
48
00:01:55,951 --> 00:01:59,412
You know, thank you so much,
and happy retirement.
49
00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:01,790
Oh, it's locked.
50
00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:04,167
Sorry.
[locks click open]
51
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:05,502
Thank you.
52
00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:07,837
Congratulations.
53
00:02:11,258 --> 00:02:13,426
Ooh, must be the money!
54
00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:14,302
Shhh.
55
00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:18,390
[car driving away]
56
00:02:22,561 --> 00:02:23,603
Noo.
57
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:35,824
[knocks softly]
58
00:02:41,955 --> 00:02:42,956
Yes!
59
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:46,459
[grunting]
60
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:49,921
[bag thudding]
61
00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:58,722
[sing-song] Must be the money!
It's gotta be the money.
62
00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:03,602
[thuds]
[groans] Fuck!
63
00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:08,440
- [groaning]
- Don't you fucking move!
64
00:03:08,982 --> 00:03:11,401
Wha-- Oh, my God. Danny, it's just me.
65
00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:12,903
[footsteps thudding upstairs]
Shhh.
66
00:03:12,903 --> 00:03:16,031
Jesus, Clare! Shit, you had me--
I was about to call the cops!
67
00:03:16,031 --> 00:03:17,157
Why?
68
00:03:17,157 --> 00:03:19,367
What are you doing?
What are you wearing?
69
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:23,663
Oh, I borrowed it.
It was, um... It's Hawaiian-themed.
70
00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:27,042
I didn't have my keys, and then I--
71
00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:30,503
The window was-- And it went so... late.
72
00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:31,546
You're drunk.
73
00:03:31,546 --> 00:03:34,216
Is there chicken?
'Cause it smells chickeney in here.
74
00:03:34,216 --> 00:03:36,301
Yeah, we had chicken. Six hours ago.
75
00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:38,845
Ugh.
76
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,475
Mmm. Mm.
77
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,603
Aah.
78
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,355
Ah.
79
00:03:48,355 --> 00:03:50,106
There were toasts and speeches
80
00:03:50,106 --> 00:03:52,734
and, ugh, it's all so tragic, you know?
81
00:03:52,734 --> 00:03:57,030
It's like 43 years of work
just whittled down
82
00:03:57,030 --> 00:04:00,242
to a tray
of bacon-wrapped pineapple skewers
83
00:04:00,242 --> 00:04:03,453
and Retire-Mints. Get it?
84
00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:04,663
FRANKIE:
Mom?
85
00:04:04,663 --> 00:04:09,459
Oh, hey! Frankie, sweetie.
86
00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:13,672
- Rae.
- Hey, hon. You wan-- You want some mints?
87
00:04:13,672 --> 00:04:15,590
No. No one wants mints. Ever.
88
00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:16,758
[scoffs]
89
00:04:16,758 --> 00:04:18,385
So there's no chicken?
90
00:04:18,385 --> 00:04:19,844
We ate all the fucking chicken, Clare.
91
00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:20,804
Why are you here?
92
00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:22,722
Whoa! Okay.
93
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:26,184
Why is everyone being such assholes?
94
00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:27,185
What's going on?
95
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,691
Are you... back?
96
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,069
Wha-- Huh?
97
00:04:37,904 --> 00:04:41,366
Well, I thought that you weren't
supposed to be here... or something.
98
00:04:46,705 --> 00:04:47,706
Oh.
99
00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:51,668
[moaning]
100
00:04:53,712 --> 00:04:55,046
Why am I eating this?
101
00:04:55,672 --> 00:04:57,591
Because you literally took the wheel
when we drove past--
102
00:04:57,591 --> 00:04:58,758
Well, you shouldn't have let me.
103
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:00,886
Shouldn't have let me.
104
00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:02,470
You cannot tell Frankie.
105
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,471
It's Rae.
106
00:05:03,972 --> 00:05:05,098
I hate calling her that.
107
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,978
But she's right, though,
because they are horrible to gay people.
108
00:05:11,146 --> 00:05:12,355
Queer people. Sorry.
109
00:05:12,939 --> 00:05:14,733
But it isn't just their homophobia.
110
00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:18,278
It's-- it's-- Really, it's, like,
look here, it's all this crap
111
00:05:18,278 --> 00:05:21,156
that's just gonna
be floating on the planet forever.
112
00:05:21,156 --> 00:05:25,201
You know, wedged into the nostril
of some innocent turtle.
113
00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:28,038
But... [moans]
114
00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:29,956
...the butter and the pickles, it's just--
115
00:05:30,999 --> 00:05:31,958
Fucckk!
116
00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:35,921
- And those damn waffle fries.
- Ooh.
117
00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:37,839
So good.
118
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,259
Well, it's what makes it all so hard.
119
00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:45,639
Everything good turns out to be bad.
120
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:47,390
[chuckles]
121
00:06:01,238 --> 00:06:02,239
You're welcome.
122
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,869
You kicked me out.
You want a "thank you"?
123
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:09,704
You do realize you're not the victim?
124
00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:11,998
Well, neither are you, Danny.
125
00:06:11,998 --> 00:06:13,708
That's great.
CLARE: Neither are you!
126
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:16,253
- All right. Absolutely great.
- Yeah, great, great. Thank you!
127
00:06:16,253 --> 00:06:17,420
[drink splashes]
128
00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:28,390
My life is a mess, Sugar.
129
00:06:29,182 --> 00:06:30,725
My daughter hates me.
130
00:06:30,725 --> 00:06:32,686
My husband kicked me out a few nights ago,
131
00:06:33,186 --> 00:06:36,231
and he thinks
I'm crashing on my best friend's couch,
132
00:06:36,231 --> 00:06:37,983
but I'm not.
133
00:06:37,983 --> 00:06:42,487
I'm sitting on her stoop
waiting for an Uber... Pool.
134
00:06:43,071 --> 00:06:46,074
♪
135
00:06:50,829 --> 00:06:54,082
Wondering how the hell
my life ended up here,
136
00:06:54,082 --> 00:06:57,878
looking for comfort
from a woman I don't even know.
137
00:06:57,878 --> 00:06:59,379
And also wondering,
138
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:02,299
has anyone ever written in
to offer comfort to you?
[phone chimes]
139
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:10,056
Then I told my mom,
"Bitch, college is for pussies.
140
00:07:10,056 --> 00:07:12,058
All that money to graduate for what?"
141
00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:14,519
[boy continues talking]
CLARE: I read your response
in this week's column,
142
00:07:14,519 --> 00:07:17,981
and one sentence
buried deep within your advice
143
00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:19,983
compelled me to write.
144
00:07:19,983 --> 00:07:23,320
It was a sentence
about your sister and her cancer.
145
00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:29,034
I'm sorry
that she died too young and too soon.
146
00:07:30,535 --> 00:07:31,995
Oh, wait. This is good.
147
00:07:31,995 --> 00:07:33,288
Wait. Stop, stop, stop.
148
00:07:36,708 --> 00:07:37,626
PASSENGER:
Cool pad.
149
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:40,337
[device beeps]
150
00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:42,214
CLARE:
But that's the thing about grief,
151
00:07:43,048 --> 00:07:45,967
you can't cry it away or eat it away
152
00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:47,427
or punch it away.
153
00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:50,597
It's just... there,
154
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:53,308
and you have to survive it.
155
00:07:53,308 --> 00:07:55,227
You have to endure it.
156
00:07:55,227 --> 00:07:56,686
You have to live with it,
157
00:07:58,188 --> 00:07:59,940
which is the hardest thing in the world.
158
00:08:04,778 --> 00:08:06,821
I was 22 when my mother was diagnosed.
159
00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:10,742
WOMAN:
Everyone, ready?
160
00:08:10,742 --> 00:08:12,202
Yes.
BOY: Yes.
161
00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:16,289
Clare Marie Pierce
is an award-winning essay writer
162
00:08:16,289 --> 00:08:19,167
and soon-to-be college graduate
with a 4.0,
163
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:22,879
who is committed to summiting
Machu Picchu over spring break!
- Mexico!
164
00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:24,548
Come on out, Clare!
165
00:08:24,548 --> 00:08:27,551
[both cheering]
166
00:08:29,052 --> 00:08:31,513
And now, a high school senior
167
00:08:31,513 --> 00:08:33,557
who cannot get a tattoo
until he graduates,
168
00:08:33,557 --> 00:08:35,225
no matter how compelling his argument,
169
00:08:35,225 --> 00:08:38,061
- and who's--
- Is still a virgin!
170
00:08:38,061 --> 00:08:39,062
BOY:
Stop saying that.
171
00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:40,647
Worn the same T-shirt
for four days running
172
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:44,025
and appears to have
no intention of taking it off!
173
00:08:44,568 --> 00:08:48,446
- Get out here, Lucas!
- Lucas!
174
00:08:48,446 --> 00:08:51,700
[both cheering]
175
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,909
Yeah.
176
00:08:52,909 --> 00:08:54,452
Are we ever gonna be too old for this?
177
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:55,787
We'll be doing this when I'm 80.
178
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:58,456
Merry Christmas.
179
00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:01,710
CLARE: And lately,
I keep playing our last Christmas together
180
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:04,129
over and over in my mind.
181
00:09:05,881 --> 00:09:07,340
WOMAN:
Me first.
182
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:09,134
Me first.
183
00:09:09,968 --> 00:09:11,386
I get to go first.
184
00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:16,057
Ooh.
185
00:09:17,017 --> 00:09:20,478
LUCAS: Oh, no way!
Is it vintage or something?
186
00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:22,063
I knew you wanted one.
187
00:09:22,856 --> 00:09:24,107
It was your father's.
188
00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:27,485
He sent it?
189
00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:30,572
I refurbished it.
190
00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:34,451
- [tool clatters]
- Lucas, don't be a little shit.
191
00:09:34,451 --> 00:09:35,911
Somebody gives you something, you take it.
192
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:36,912
You take it.
193
00:09:36,912 --> 00:09:38,705
I'm not the one
who's ever wanted anything from him.
194
00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:40,707
It's okay. He doesn't have to.
195
00:09:44,169 --> 00:09:46,046
All right, you go ahead, honey.
196
00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:49,841
Jess said that you needed one.
197
00:09:49,841 --> 00:09:51,843
And I thought
that it would be great for New York.
198
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:02,646
Do you like it?
199
00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:04,731
Yeah, I love it.
200
00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:08,985
Uh-- I do. I-- I love it.
201
00:10:08,985 --> 00:10:10,695
[mockingly] You do? You love it?
202
00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:12,197
Hey.
203
00:10:15,909 --> 00:10:16,910
Uh, it's--
204
00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:18,995
It's long
205
00:10:19,621 --> 00:10:22,290
and subs-- substantial.
206
00:10:22,624 --> 00:10:23,625
I thought it was unique.
207
00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:29,714
I just wonder, does it--
208
00:10:31,299 --> 00:10:32,884
Does it make more sense to get black?
209
00:10:33,385 --> 00:10:37,055
Because it's dirty in New York,
and it'll probably last longer.
210
00:10:37,055 --> 00:10:38,807
And it's-- it's probably easy to exchange.
211
00:10:40,642 --> 00:10:44,020
Sure. Sure.
You should have what you want, honey.
212
00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:49,734
CLARE:
I hope, in your sister's death,
213
00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:52,404
you'll be able
to do something that I haven't.
214
00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,155
Create something of her life.
215
00:10:55,657 --> 00:10:56,825
Make it beautiful.
216
00:10:58,034 --> 00:11:00,453
And then, please, tell me how you did it.
217
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:04,124
Love, Clare.
218
00:11:05,417 --> 00:11:08,420
♪
219
00:11:39,826 --> 00:11:41,036
Uh, that can come down.
220
00:11:42,203 --> 00:11:46,041
You were so wasted last night.
How are you even walking this morning?
221
00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:47,334
CLARE:
I don't know, Shan.
222
00:11:47,334 --> 00:11:48,710
Somehow I stagger on,
223
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:52,214
despite fielding the vitriol
of an entitled millennial.
224
00:11:52,214 --> 00:11:54,674
SHAN:
I mean, literally walking.
225
00:11:54,674 --> 00:11:56,593
When you fell off the stage
after "Me and Bobby McGee,"
226
00:11:56,593 --> 00:11:59,804
I thought you, like,
broke a hip... or something.
227
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:05,435
Would you just take
the fucking sign down, Shan? Thank you.
228
00:12:06,603 --> 00:12:09,773
Oh, Bev's daughter wanted you
to come by. Room 19.
229
00:12:09,773 --> 00:12:11,107
She told me it was urgent.
230
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,989
- When?
- Like, an hour ago.
231
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:19,491
[Clare scoffs]
232
00:12:21,493 --> 00:12:23,245
[Clare mumbling]
233
00:12:23,245 --> 00:12:24,621
SHAN:
And I'm a Zoomer.
234
00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:29,251
CLARE:
Krystal, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
235
00:12:29,251 --> 00:12:30,335
I just got your message.
236
00:12:30,335 --> 00:12:32,170
- Did you sleep in here last night?
- Uh...
237
00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:34,839
My mom said
the admissions lady slept here last night.
238
00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:42,681
I know that you get lonely sometimes.
239
00:12:42,681 --> 00:12:46,393
And even though
you know that I can't sleep in here,
240
00:12:46,393 --> 00:12:48,061
I will always keep you company
241
00:12:48,061 --> 00:12:51,690
and make sure you're feeling cozy
and all tucked in, right?
242
00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:52,983
- Right?
- Mmm.
243
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:55,485
[whispering] It's the Alzheimer's.
244
00:12:59,656 --> 00:13:00,991
- There you go.
- Thank you.
245
00:13:01,491 --> 00:13:02,576
Gentleman.
246
00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:07,414
- What?
- Wow.
247
00:13:07,414 --> 00:13:09,165
CLARE:
Oh, my God!
248
00:13:09,165 --> 00:13:11,710
Sam! What're you doing here?
249
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:14,713
SAM: Oh, it's been--
CLARE: Been forever! Shit!
250
00:13:14,713 --> 00:13:16,965
- You look great!
- Wha-- Oh.
251
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:19,301
- Wait, when was the last time--
- I don't know!
252
00:13:19,301 --> 00:13:20,969
Was it, uh, Bread Loaf?
253
00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:22,929
Uh, uh, City Lights. Hannah's reading.
254
00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:24,431
Oh, fuck! Yeah.
255
00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:28,435
Aah. Wait, are you still at,
uh, uh, The Believer?
256
00:13:28,435 --> 00:13:30,145
No. They folded in March.
257
00:13:30,145 --> 00:13:32,397
But I left for The Mantros years ago.
258
00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,858
Oh, I love The Mantros.
259
00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:37,360
Essays... Dear Sugar...
260
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,487
I know!
I got your fan letter last night!
261
00:13:42,532 --> 00:13:43,742
You wrote in to Dear Sugar.
262
00:13:45,994 --> 00:13:46,995
I'm Sugar.
263
00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:50,999
I'll explain. Do you want to go somewhere?
264
00:13:50,999 --> 00:13:52,000
Do you still not drive?
265
00:13:53,209 --> 00:13:55,712
An advice column is easy clicks.
266
00:13:55,712 --> 00:13:59,466
But who-- who wants to get advice
from some middle-aged white dude?
267
00:13:59,466 --> 00:14:02,385
I've literally been reading this column
for the last three months,
268
00:14:02,385 --> 00:14:03,678
and it's fucking you?
269
00:14:03,678 --> 00:14:05,847
- How can it be you?
- I'm detecting some disdain here.
270
00:14:05,847 --> 00:14:09,142
You're pretending
to be a-- a woman? What?
271
00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:11,311
I know. I know! I am living a lie.
272
00:14:11,311 --> 00:14:14,147
But then... you wrote in.
273
00:14:14,147 --> 00:14:16,733
And I saw your name
and I remembered your writing
274
00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:18,944
and the essay--
That fucking essay.
275
00:14:19,361 --> 00:14:23,114
And I realized that this woman
that I'm pretending to be,
276
00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:26,785
you know, working class,
pulled herself up by her bootstraps,
277
00:14:26,785 --> 00:14:28,203
- kinda disheveled--
- Okay.
278
00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:29,663
- She's literally you!
- Okay. Okay.
279
00:14:29,663 --> 00:14:32,540
- Okay, just take a left at Elm.
- You should be the one doing this.
280
00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:34,209
Doing what?
281
00:14:34,209 --> 00:14:36,753
- Being Sugar!
- What? No.
282
00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:37,754
I mean, it doesn't pay.
283
00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:41,132
And-- And, you know,
there's no credit 'cause it's anonymous.
284
00:14:41,132 --> 00:14:42,884
But I would be your point.
285
00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:46,513
And all you have to do
is answer, like, one letter a week and--
286
00:14:46,513 --> 00:14:48,014
Sam, stop it.
287
00:14:48,014 --> 00:14:50,058
I'm not giving anybody advice.
288
00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:54,062
My life is a fucking shit show!
289
00:14:55,689 --> 00:14:56,815
And I--
290
00:14:56,815 --> 00:14:58,400
I'm not a writer!
291
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,694
You're one of the best writers I know.
292
00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:05,365
You didn't get a book deal
off of that essay for nothing.
293
00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:07,993
Doesn't count
if you don't write the book.
294
00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:09,995
Everything counts, Sugar.
295
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:13,498
Don't call me that!
296
00:15:22,632 --> 00:15:24,217
I'm sorry about your sister.
297
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,806
Clare, I don't have a fucking sister.
I made it up.
298
00:15:29,806 --> 00:15:33,602
You made up someone
having fucking cancer?
299
00:15:33,602 --> 00:15:35,103
Take a right.
300
00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:37,147
SAM:
Yes, I made it all up!
301
00:15:37,147 --> 00:15:38,440
This is why I need you!
302
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,400
Oh, you are the worst, Sam!
303
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,235
I can't believe
I almost ever slept with you.
304
00:15:42,235 --> 00:15:43,236
Pull over!
305
00:15:43,236 --> 00:15:45,238
SAM: What are you doing?
CLARE: I'm-- I'm getting out.
306
00:15:45,238 --> 00:15:46,573
Wait, what do you mean, "almost"?
307
00:15:46,573 --> 00:15:48,325
We never slept together? Why not?
308
00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:50,201
'Cause you're an asshole.
309
00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:53,121
Oh, so you're done with me now?
That's it?
310
00:15:53,121 --> 00:15:55,665
I have therapy. Thank you for the ride.
311
00:15:55,665 --> 00:15:58,501
- What? You're an asshole!
- Okay, fine.
312
00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:00,212
SAM:
No, no, no, no. Here. Wait.
313
00:16:00,212 --> 00:16:03,590
I-- I printed out
the letters that I didn't answer
314
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:05,050
because I can't-- [mumbles]
315
00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:09,471
Just... read 'em.
And if you want, just answer one.
316
00:16:11,056 --> 00:16:14,309
Everyone's lives are a fucking shit show!
317
00:16:14,309 --> 00:16:16,353
People, they need help.
318
00:16:16,353 --> 00:16:20,065
You said it yourself,
"Create something of her life.
Make it beautiful."
319
00:16:23,401 --> 00:16:24,986
EMPLOYEE:
Let me see if I can help you.
320
00:16:24,986 --> 00:16:26,529
Did you happen to save the receipt?
321
00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:29,366
I... did not save the receipt.
322
00:16:29,366 --> 00:16:31,076
It was final sale.
323
00:16:31,076 --> 00:16:33,245
EMPLOYEE:
I-- I can try to look it up.
324
00:16:33,745 --> 00:16:35,038
WOMAN:
I appreciate that.
325
00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:39,459
EMPLOYEE:
I may need to talk to my supervisor.
326
00:16:46,007 --> 00:16:48,051
- Did it work out?
- Mm-hmm.
327
00:16:48,051 --> 00:16:49,302
- It's okay?
- It's okay.
328
00:16:55,475 --> 00:16:56,476
You're late.
329
00:16:56,476 --> 00:16:57,936
I'm actually two minutes early
330
00:16:57,936 --> 00:17:00,772
'cause she's always
five minutes late, so.
331
00:17:00,772 --> 00:17:03,441
[phone dings]
CLARE: [softly] Make sure that's off.
332
00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:08,113
Who is it?
333
00:17:09,197 --> 00:17:10,782
Hmm?
DANNY: [scoffs] Lucas again?
334
00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:16,454
WOMAN: I'm glad
you both are choosing to be here today.
335
00:17:18,873 --> 00:17:21,084
I know, in the past,
that hasn't always been the case.
336
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:26,464
This feels like a particularly hard moment
in your marriage.
337
00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:29,426
I think a lot has been said.
338
00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:34,014
And maybe... a lot hasn't been said.
339
00:17:37,142 --> 00:17:39,936
Yeah. No, um, I-- I feel that same way.
340
00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,772
Honestly, it's, um...
341
00:17:44,274 --> 00:17:45,275
Uh...
342
00:17:47,736 --> 00:17:48,737
Yeah.
343
00:17:50,488 --> 00:17:53,992
Jung once said,
"I am not what has happened to me.
344
00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:56,912
I am what I choose to become."
345
00:17:57,579 --> 00:17:59,331
Does that bring up
anything for you, Clare?
346
00:17:59,331 --> 00:18:00,332
No.
347
00:18:00,957 --> 00:18:04,085
How long am I supposed
to stay out of my own home?
348
00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:06,463
Well, how long do you think
you need to stay out of your home?
349
00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:10,592
What are we doing?
350
00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:14,179
What is this space supposed to accomplish?
351
00:18:14,179 --> 00:18:18,058
Or is it just, like,
one long, torturous experiment
352
00:18:18,058 --> 00:18:20,769
to slowly turn my own daughter against me?
353
00:18:20,769 --> 00:18:22,020
It was her college fund!
354
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:23,897
Part of. That he will pay back!
355
00:18:23,897 --> 00:18:25,899
You just gave it away
without even talking to me!
356
00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:27,567
What? You just thought I wouldn't notice?
357
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,861
What did you want me to fucking do?
Leave him homeless?
358
00:18:29,861 --> 00:18:32,864
It was our childhood home!
It's my mother's house!
359
00:18:32,864 --> 00:18:35,367
He lives there! And it was underwater.
360
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:37,077
Yeah, because he fucked up.
361
00:18:37,077 --> 00:18:38,203
Yeah, he fucks up all the time!
362
00:18:38,203 --> 00:18:39,537
Yeah, he does fuck up all the time and--
363
00:18:39,537 --> 00:18:42,040
Yeah, fine, fine!
But family takes care of family.
364
00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:43,708
I'm it for him.
365
00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:45,961
What would you do?
Would you leave me on the fucking street?
366
00:18:46,711 --> 00:18:48,463
Oh! [scoffs]
367
00:18:48,463 --> 00:18:52,259
Clare, have you ever heard
of the phrase "financial infidelity"?
368
00:18:52,259 --> 00:18:53,260
Oh, my God.
369
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:57,138
It can be as destabilizing
and damaging as sexual infidelity.
370
00:18:57,138 --> 00:18:58,139
Even more so.
371
00:18:58,139 --> 00:18:59,140
Yeah. Okay.
372
00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:01,017
That's not even in the same ballpark,
373
00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:02,852
- 'cause there's no betrayal here.
- Right.
374
00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:04,771
I needed to take care of my brother.
375
00:19:04,771 --> 00:19:07,065
Yeah, when you do something wrong,
it's-- it's different rules.
376
00:19:07,065 --> 00:19:08,358
This is not about rules.
377
00:19:08,358 --> 00:19:10,360
Not everybody comes from
where you come from,
378
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:13,905
or just-- or, you know,
starts life with an even playing field.
379
00:19:13,905 --> 00:19:15,156
I'm a Black man in America.
380
00:19:15,156 --> 00:19:17,284
I know people don't come
from an equal playing field, Clare.
381
00:19:17,284 --> 00:19:19,369
That's not what I mean.
I'm talking about being rich!
382
00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:21,288
- I grew up middle class.
- Yeah, that's rich.
383
00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:24,207
What do you want me to say?
My brother's a fuck-up. I'm a fuck-up.
384
00:19:24,207 --> 00:19:25,375
Okay, I'm an awful person.
385
00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:27,210
I'm awful. I'm horrible. That's it.
386
00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:29,254
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to fucking say.
387
00:19:29,921 --> 00:19:31,673
Let's just start
with how you're feeling, hm?
388
00:19:31,673 --> 00:19:35,594
I am feeling hungry. I am feeling tired.
389
00:19:35,594 --> 00:19:37,888
I'm feeling like a shell of a person.
390
00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:40,724
- Like I'm staring into an abyss--
- I get it.
391
00:19:43,101 --> 00:19:44,686
I mean, I'm not there yet,
392
00:19:44,686 --> 00:19:48,064
but I think it's really common
for women your age to feel this way.
393
00:19:48,064 --> 00:19:49,357
You've spoken before
394
00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:51,568
about your insecurities
with getting older--
395
00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:53,820
I thought we were talking
about me giving money to my brother.
396
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:56,615
- And with the age gap
between you and Danny--
- It's not that big.
397
00:19:56,615 --> 00:20:00,035
And the way our society
treats women over 50 as irrelevant--
398
00:20:00,035 --> 00:20:01,745
- I'm 49!
- You'll be 50 in a month.
399
00:20:01,745 --> 00:20:05,290
Women over 50 are treated
as if they are barely sexual beings.
400
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:09,794
Their beauty is fading, or at least
our conventional ideas of beauty.
401
00:20:09,794 --> 00:20:11,755
Because of that, their power wanes.
402
00:20:11,755 --> 00:20:16,009
Their wants and desires
are considered as an afterthought.
403
00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:17,844
Okay.
404
00:20:22,641 --> 00:20:23,642
[keys jingle]
405
00:20:41,451 --> 00:20:42,452
Oh.
406
00:20:48,291 --> 00:20:50,293
[muffled conversation]
407
00:21:00,136 --> 00:21:02,722
[Danny speaking indistinctly]
408
00:21:02,722 --> 00:21:04,724
♪
409
00:21:08,728 --> 00:21:10,146
I mean, it's therapy!
410
00:21:10,146 --> 00:21:13,441
It's not office hours.
You don't stick around after class!
411
00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:17,112
You know, that's like a cesspool
full of bacteria, right?
412
00:21:17,112 --> 00:21:20,198
Okay, why don't you ask
your hot dishwasher to clean it out?
413
00:21:20,824 --> 00:21:23,118
Oh, well, maybe I will.
414
00:21:24,744 --> 00:21:25,787
- Hello.
- There you go.
415
00:21:25,787 --> 00:21:26,871
Oh, my God!
416
00:21:26,871 --> 00:21:27,872
WOMAN:
Thank you.
417
00:21:27,872 --> 00:21:29,541
[woman laughing]
418
00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:30,834
Jesus Christ, Amy!
419
00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:32,836
[Amy snickering]
420
00:21:33,336 --> 00:21:34,838
I'm naughty!
421
00:21:34,838 --> 00:21:36,673
Uh, are they having sex?
422
00:21:36,673 --> 00:21:38,258
They-- Do they wanna have sex?
423
00:21:38,967 --> 00:21:43,513
Is couple's therapy some,
you know, sick psycho foreplay
424
00:21:43,513 --> 00:21:47,392
where they're just telepathically
jerking each other off in front of me?
425
00:21:47,392 --> 00:21:50,896
And... is my insurance paying for it?
426
00:21:50,896 --> 00:21:53,940
Oh, my God!
Maybe I should be a couple's therapist.
427
00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:55,650
CLARE:
I mean, I'm the one who found her!
428
00:21:55,650 --> 00:21:58,153
He didn't even wanna go!
And now he's like, what-- He's what?
429
00:21:58,153 --> 00:22:00,405
He's, like, fucking some woman
430
00:22:00,405 --> 00:22:05,452
who decorates her office with gnomes
grabbing their own weird stone vaginas?
431
00:22:05,452 --> 00:22:07,662
Okay. Danny loves you.
432
00:22:07,662 --> 00:22:12,292
He's not fucking his therapist
or any stone, uh, vaginas, okay?
433
00:22:13,835 --> 00:22:16,129
She called me barely a woman.
434
00:22:19,007 --> 00:22:20,634
Am I barely a woman?
435
00:22:20,634 --> 00:22:22,552
I mean,
she probably said it to get laid.
436
00:22:22,552 --> 00:22:25,263
Thanks, Amy.
AMY: Hang in there.
437
00:22:33,563 --> 00:22:34,564
Thanks.
438
00:22:48,703 --> 00:22:49,704
Hey.
439
00:22:51,081 --> 00:22:52,082
Hey.
440
00:22:56,211 --> 00:22:58,213
♪
441
00:23:04,010 --> 00:23:05,011
[softly] Hey.
442
00:23:06,221 --> 00:23:09,224
♪
443
00:23:21,027 --> 00:23:24,364
[young Clare moaning]
444
00:23:35,584 --> 00:23:37,794
[Clare grunting] Okay.
445
00:23:37,794 --> 00:23:39,087
MAN:
I can't get it in.
446
00:23:39,087 --> 00:23:41,506
No, it's because, uh--
It's-- it's-- The angle is wrong
447
00:23:42,716 --> 00:23:43,842
Okay, yeah, maybe we--
448
00:23:43,842 --> 00:23:44,968
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let's go.
449
00:23:45,844 --> 00:23:46,970
[squishing]
450
00:23:46,970 --> 00:23:49,347
What the f--
Wait, what the fuck is happening?
451
00:23:49,931 --> 00:23:51,683
Wait, is this a waterbed?
452
00:23:51,683 --> 00:23:53,935
Oh, my God!
[laughing] Oh, my God.
453
00:23:53,935 --> 00:23:56,271
Am I in 1979?
454
00:23:56,271 --> 00:24:00,275
Am I in a-- Am I trapped
in a fucking Steely Dan song?
455
00:24:00,275 --> 00:24:02,235
Oh, my God.
456
00:24:03,111 --> 00:24:05,530
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What?
457
00:24:05,530 --> 00:24:09,284
[Clare laughing and crying]
458
00:24:10,535 --> 00:24:12,913
- Oh, my God.
- Are you okay?
459
00:24:12,913 --> 00:24:15,790
[Clare crying]
460
00:24:15,790 --> 00:24:18,668
I am not okay.
461
00:24:20,295 --> 00:24:21,504
Wait, are you married?
462
00:24:22,172 --> 00:24:24,633
- What the--
- The ring on your finger?
463
00:24:25,550 --> 00:24:28,720
Are you gonna fucking judge me?
You have a fucking waterbed!
464
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:29,721
So?
465
00:24:34,434 --> 00:24:36,186
And I like Steely Dan.
466
00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:38,897
Well, they're a great band.
467
00:24:49,783 --> 00:24:51,368
[phone chimes]
468
00:25:05,006 --> 00:25:08,009
♪
469
00:25:27,362 --> 00:25:28,738
WOMAN:
Dear Sugar,
470
00:25:28,738 --> 00:25:31,032
I'm 22, and my question is short.
471
00:25:32,075 --> 00:25:33,910
What would you tell
your 20-something self
472
00:25:33,910 --> 00:25:35,287
if you could talk to her now?
473
00:25:36,371 --> 00:25:38,248
Love, Seeking Wisdom.
474
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:43,461
♪
475
00:25:45,672 --> 00:25:46,715
CLARE:
476
00:25:50,677 --> 00:25:51,678
Dear...
477
00:25:56,308 --> 00:25:58,101
Dear Seeking Wisdom.
478
00:25:59,185 --> 00:26:01,980
What would I tell my 22-year-old self?
479
00:26:03,523 --> 00:26:05,859
I'd say,
stop worrying whether you're fat.
480
00:26:06,568 --> 00:26:08,403
Feed yourself, literally.
481
00:26:09,571 --> 00:26:13,742
The people worthy of your love
will love you more for this.
482
00:26:18,538 --> 00:26:23,335
I'd also say that
most things will be okay eventually,
483
00:26:24,878 --> 00:26:26,129
but not everything.
484
00:26:31,885 --> 00:26:33,845
One afternoon in your 20s,
485
00:26:33,845 --> 00:26:37,182
when you've gotten yourself
ridiculously tangled up with heroin,
486
00:26:37,182 --> 00:26:40,977
you'll be riding the bus and thinking
what a worthless piece of shit you are.
487
00:26:42,395 --> 00:26:44,773
A little girl will get on the bus
with her mother,
488
00:26:44,773 --> 00:26:46,858
holding the strings
of two purple balloons.
489
00:26:47,609 --> 00:26:50,612
She will offer you one of the balloons,
but you won't take it
490
00:26:50,612 --> 00:26:52,989
because you believe
you no longer have a right
491
00:26:52,989 --> 00:26:55,242
to such tiny beautiful things.
492
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,081
You're wrong.
493
00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:05,168
You do.
494
00:27:07,462 --> 00:27:12,092
EMPLOYEE:
That's $127.62. I'm so sorry.
495
00:27:12,092 --> 00:27:14,678
CLARE: And someday,
you'll look back on that one Christmas,
496
00:27:14,678 --> 00:27:17,013
when your mother gave you
a mustard-yellow coat
497
00:27:17,013 --> 00:27:19,182
that she'd saved for months to buy.
498
00:27:21,268 --> 00:27:24,271
♪
499
00:27:27,857 --> 00:27:28,942
Don't hold it up and say
500
00:27:28,942 --> 00:27:30,735
it's longer than
you like your coats to be,
501
00:27:30,735 --> 00:27:34,614
and too puffy,
and possibly even too warm.
502
00:27:36,575 --> 00:27:38,910
Because your mother
will be dead by spring...
503
00:27:38,910 --> 00:27:39,911
[door opens]
504
00:27:41,079 --> 00:27:43,498
...and that coat will be the last gift
she ever gave you.
505
00:27:44,874 --> 00:27:45,875
Are you okay?
506
00:27:50,463 --> 00:27:51,840
I love you. [sniffles]
507
00:27:53,341 --> 00:27:54,843
You know that, right?
508
00:27:54,843 --> 00:27:57,345
Ab-- About the money,
it's-- it's not gone.
509
00:27:57,345 --> 00:27:58,889
It's not about the money.
510
00:27:58,889 --> 00:27:59,890
Then what?
511
00:28:04,185 --> 00:28:05,478
Do you want me to bring that in?
512
00:28:11,693 --> 00:28:13,862
CLARE: And you will regret
the small thing you didn't say
513
00:28:13,862 --> 00:28:14,988
for the rest of your life.
514
00:28:15,906 --> 00:28:16,907
RAE:
Have a good night.
515
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,201
You too.
516
00:28:20,201 --> 00:28:23,747
When a gift is given, say thank you.
517
00:28:23,747 --> 00:28:24,748
Mom?
518
00:28:30,879 --> 00:28:31,880
You dropped something.
519
00:28:33,256 --> 00:28:37,510
CLARE:
When a gift is given, say thank you.
520
00:28:44,226 --> 00:28:46,770
When a gift... is given...
521
00:28:49,564 --> 00:28:50,815
[door closes]
522
00:28:50,815 --> 00:28:51,816
Thank you.
523
00:28:56,988 --> 00:28:59,991
♪
524
00:29:01,451 --> 00:29:05,163
♪ I'm trying to tell you
something 'bout my life ♪
525
00:29:06,706 --> 00:29:11,169
♪ Maybe give me insight
between black and white ♪
526
00:29:11,169 --> 00:29:14,923
♪ And the best thing
that you ever done for me ♪
527
00:29:16,174 --> 00:29:19,928
♪ Is to help me
take my life less seriously ♪
528
00:29:19,928 --> 00:29:22,681
♪ It's only life after all ♪
529
00:29:26,059 --> 00:29:28,520
♪ I went to the doctor ♪
530
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,939
♪ I went to the mountains ♪
531
00:29:30,939 --> 00:29:33,400
♪ I looked to the children ♪
532
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,860
♪ I drank from the fountains ♪
533
00:29:35,860 --> 00:29:39,614
♪ There's more than one answer
to these questions ♪
534
00:29:39,614 --> 00:29:42,200
♪ Pointing me in a crooked line ♪
535
00:29:43,118 --> 00:29:46,913
♪ And the less I seek my source ♪
536
00:29:46,913 --> 00:29:51,167
♪ The closer I am to fine ♪
537
00:29:52,127 --> 00:30:02,012
♪ Closer I am to fine ♪