1 00:00:01,211 --> 00:00:02,712 RAE: No, you can't make me go! 2 00:00:02,712 --> 00:00:04,129 CLARE: Get dressed. RAE: No! 3 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,131 CLARE: Now! RAE: No! 4 00:00:05,131 --> 00:00:06,591 CLARE: Just put it on! 5 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:09,094 Oh, my God! You're acting like such a fucking-- 6 00:00:11,513 --> 00:00:12,722 Frankie, uh-- 7 00:00:13,557 --> 00:00:15,392 Rae! God-- God-- God damn it! 8 00:00:16,101 --> 00:00:18,061 DANNY: It's a little early for all the screaming, isn't it? 9 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:20,522 RAE: We need a tranquilizer gun. The kind for large animals. 10 00:00:24,276 --> 00:00:26,027 Rae, I swear to God, I'm-- 11 00:00:27,112 --> 00:00:29,781 Could you tell our daughter that she's going to school? 12 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,408 Rae, you're going to school. 13 00:00:31,408 --> 00:00:33,410 I'm not going to school because she ruined school! 14 00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:36,288 I hate it there. Everyone's horrible. And it's all your fault. 15 00:00:36,288 --> 00:00:38,623 Why is everything in this family my fault? 16 00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:40,500 Because you fuck everything up! 17 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,002 Do not speak to me like that! 18 00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:43,211 Don't talk to me like that! 19 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,838 DANNY: Okay, okay, enough. Enough, all right? 20 00:00:44,838 --> 00:00:46,715 Rae, you're going to school. Go get dressed. 21 00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:48,842 - Thank you! - Fine. Fine! Okay. 22 00:00:48,842 --> 00:00:50,510 Then I'm gonna transfer to Douglass. 23 00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:52,012 No, you're not. Douglass sucks. 24 00:00:52,012 --> 00:00:53,430 Okay. I went to Douglass, all right? 25 00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:55,056 Yeah, you're the one who told me that it sucks. 26 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,684 Wow. Well, white feminism strikes again! 27 00:00:57,684 --> 00:00:59,311 Sorry, what exactly is so wrong 28 00:00:59,311 --> 00:01:02,814 about a predominantly Black public high school, Mom? 29 00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:04,190 We chose St. Anne's 30 00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:06,860 because we wanted you to go to a good college. 31 00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:08,486 I don't care about college! 32 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:09,821 I'm not even going to college! 33 00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:10,739 - DANNY: Whoa, Rae! - Wait, whoa! 34 00:01:10,739 --> 00:01:11,907 What are you saying right now? 35 00:01:11,907 --> 00:01:13,158 Nobody's listening to me! 36 00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:14,409 Yes, I am listening to you. 37 00:01:14,409 --> 00:01:16,161 That's why I just said, "What are you saying?" 38 00:01:16,161 --> 00:01:19,164 If you don't let me transfer, then I'm going to drop out! 39 00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:20,957 [yelling] That's enough! You're not dropping out. 40 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:23,209 You're late. Go get dressed. 41 00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:24,211 This is done. 42 00:01:26,588 --> 00:01:28,089 - Hey. - Don't touch me! 43 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,341 Hey! 44 00:01:29,341 --> 00:01:30,300 Listen to me. 45 00:01:31,051 --> 00:01:35,931 You are finishing high school, and then you are going to go to college 46 00:01:35,931 --> 00:01:39,559 because that is what you are going to do. 47 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,561 Okay? 48 00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:44,022 Mm-hmm? Well, Dad, he didn't finish college. 49 00:01:44,022 --> 00:01:45,273 And he regrets it. 50 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,524 What? Neither did you. 51 00:01:48,193 --> 00:01:49,194 [sighs] 52 00:01:50,362 --> 00:01:51,363 RAE: What? 53 00:01:52,489 --> 00:01:53,990 - You dropped out of college. - No. 54 00:01:58,078 --> 00:02:01,706 Just get your fucking backpack and get dressed for school now. 55 00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:05,627 Go! 56 00:02:05,627 --> 00:02:07,003 RAE: [scoffs] Oh, my God. 57 00:02:08,922 --> 00:02:09,923 DANNY: [softly] I'm sorry. 58 00:02:10,757 --> 00:02:11,591 Hey. 59 00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:12,968 Thank you! Jesus! 60 00:02:15,345 --> 00:02:16,346 [Clare sighs] 61 00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:17,973 Okay. 62 00:02:18,557 --> 00:02:19,558 What is this? 63 00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:23,853 DANNY: I know you don't think you'll walk away. 64 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:25,647 Bring your ass back here, Rae! 65 00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:29,359 [Rae sighs] 66 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,993 ♪ Where Is My Mind by Pixies playing ♪ 67 00:02:43,999 --> 00:02:45,000 What the hell is this? 68 00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:48,962 A nose mug. I made it in Ceramics. 69 00:02:50,714 --> 00:02:51,882 Why would you make this? 70 00:02:52,299 --> 00:02:54,301 Because-- I was gonna give it to you for Mother's Day. 71 00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:58,138 ♪ Try this trick and spin it, yeah ♪ 72 00:02:59,431 --> 00:03:01,057 ♪ Your head will collapse ♪ 73 00:03:01,057 --> 00:03:02,851 ♪ But there's nothing in it ♪ 74 00:03:02,851 --> 00:03:04,519 ♪ And you'll ask yourself ♪ 75 00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,980 ♪ Where is my mind? ♪ 76 00:03:07,939 --> 00:03:09,566 ♪ Where is my mind? ♪ 77 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:13,612 ♪ Where is my mind? ♪ 78 00:03:14,738 --> 00:03:15,739 BOY: 'Sup. 79 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,450 What? 80 00:03:19,284 --> 00:03:20,327 You look really familiar. 81 00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:22,454 [continues playing on headphones] ♪ Way out in the water ♪ 82 00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:24,956 ♪ See it swimming ♪ 83 00:03:28,418 --> 00:03:31,004 Did we bang at a Dead show or something? 84 00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:33,048 ♪ I was swimm-- ♪ [turns off Walkman] 85 00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:34,799 I'd rather die than go to a Dead show. 86 00:03:35,842 --> 00:03:38,803 MAN: All right, everyone. Welcome to Advanced World Fiction. 87 00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:41,431 I know that the final quarter can be a little bit of a drag, 88 00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:42,766 but over the next nine weeks, 89 00:03:42,766 --> 00:03:45,101 we're gonna be having some good ol' literary fun. 90 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:47,479 We're gonna be reading The Nose by Gogol, 91 00:03:47,479 --> 00:03:49,314 The Autumn of the Patriarch by Márquez, 92 00:03:49,314 --> 00:03:52,192 and a number of stories by Guy de Maupassant. 93 00:03:52,192 --> 00:03:55,070 So, you do anything cool over spring break? 94 00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:00,450 Climbed Machu Picchu. 95 00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:04,788 [door slams shut] FRANKIE: Oh, boy. 96 00:04:06,873 --> 00:04:08,375 What happened? 97 00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:09,834 I'm not going back. 98 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:11,336 I'm done with school. 99 00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:16,174 People are mean and horrible and... mean! 100 00:04:16,174 --> 00:04:18,343 People can be. It's true. 101 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,220 But you love school. 102 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,931 And how will you be the next Eudora Welty without it? 103 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:25,308 Well, maybe I'll just be a waitress like you. 104 00:04:26,935 --> 00:04:29,563 I don't think you have the patience to handle the lunch rush. 105 00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:33,275 Hey. 106 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:37,445 You can't let the worst things that happen to you 107 00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:40,657 stop you from getting what you want. 108 00:04:41,575 --> 00:04:42,909 And if you do, 109 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,413 that is nobody's fault but yours. 110 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:53,879 CLARE: Sorry. 111 00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:54,880 S-- Sorry. 112 00:04:56,631 --> 00:04:58,133 - BOY: Hey-- Hey! - What? 113 00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,009 - Hey. - What? 114 00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:00,552 You, uh, you forgot this. 115 00:05:00,552 --> 00:05:01,595 Okay. Thank you. 116 00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:03,597 Do you wanna go get a drink or something? 117 00:05:04,264 --> 00:05:05,891 We went to junior high together, Eric. 118 00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:08,226 And you terrorized me. So, yeah, no. 119 00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:14,316 JESS: You-- You can't get high in here. I mean, this is our home. 120 00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:16,109 [exhales] 121 00:05:20,447 --> 00:05:21,740 - It's, uh-- - What's wrong? 122 00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:24,451 [softly] Your brother. 123 00:05:25,452 --> 00:05:27,412 He says he's not going back to school. 124 00:05:27,412 --> 00:05:28,705 And... 125 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:31,666 he-- he says he's not going back home. 126 00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:34,377 [indistinct chatter on TV] 127 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,213 CLARE: Okay, you can't do that in here. 128 00:05:39,883 --> 00:05:41,551 What do you mean you're not going back to school? 129 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:43,220 Your narc husband say that? 130 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,346 Oh, Jesus! 131 00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:49,267 [door slams shut] 132 00:05:51,353 --> 00:05:52,354 [sighs] 133 00:05:58,026 --> 00:06:00,237 You don't need to go back to school tomorrow, 134 00:06:01,905 --> 00:06:03,907 but you do need to go back. 135 00:06:04,991 --> 00:06:08,203 Um, we just buried Mom three days ago, so... 136 00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:12,249 excuse me for not giving a shit about high school right now. 137 00:06:12,791 --> 00:06:14,376 I haven't been in a month anyway. 138 00:06:19,923 --> 00:06:21,216 Mom would want you to graduate. 139 00:06:23,218 --> 00:06:24,427 She'd want both of us to. 140 00:06:25,512 --> 00:06:27,264 Well, Mom's not fucking here. 141 00:06:30,559 --> 00:06:31,851 CLARE: Mom! 142 00:06:33,311 --> 00:06:34,312 Mom! Mom! 143 00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:35,772 What is it? What's wrong? What's wrong? 144 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,527 - No. - Yes. 145 00:06:41,278 --> 00:06:44,281 Yeah. Yes. Yes. 146 00:06:44,281 --> 00:06:47,117 [both exclaiming, laughing] 147 00:06:47,117 --> 00:06:48,868 Lucas, your sister got in! 148 00:06:49,369 --> 00:06:50,829 CLARE: Mom, you don't have to do this. 149 00:06:50,829 --> 00:06:53,206 We're not little kids anymore. 150 00:06:53,206 --> 00:06:57,669 You are the first person in this family to go to college. 151 00:06:57,669 --> 00:07:03,049 Of course, that calls for a fancy-lady dinner. 152 00:07:03,049 --> 00:07:05,677 Your drinks, Mademoiselle, Monsieur. 153 00:07:05,677 --> 00:07:07,429 Mom, how are we gonna pay for all this 154 00:07:07,429 --> 00:07:09,347 when we can't even afford real Kool-Aid? 155 00:07:09,347 --> 00:07:11,266 That's what loans are for, dumbass. 156 00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:13,602 And grants and scholarships. 157 00:07:14,144 --> 00:07:15,854 And you got some of those too. 158 00:07:18,064 --> 00:07:19,482 I wanna hear the letter again. 159 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,818 [Frankie laughs] 160 00:07:21,818 --> 00:07:24,237 LUCAS: "Dear Claire, congratulations. 161 00:07:24,237 --> 00:07:26,239 I'm honored to share this news with you." 162 00:07:26,239 --> 00:07:28,158 Blah, blah, blah, I guess we'll accept you. 163 00:07:28,158 --> 00:07:29,784 Oh, did you see this thing at the bottom? 164 00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:34,831 "Parents of students may enroll in classes for no additional charge." 165 00:07:34,831 --> 00:07:35,790 Wait, what? 166 00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:37,042 For free? 167 00:07:41,254 --> 00:07:43,173 I've always wanted to go to college. 168 00:07:44,591 --> 00:07:46,676 Okay, but you're not gonna go with me. 169 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:54,059 No. No. 170 00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:56,853 - No. - No. 171 00:07:57,771 --> 00:07:58,772 No. 172 00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,153 CLARE: Okay. 173 00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:06,905 Do you remember the rules? 174 00:08:06,905 --> 00:08:08,531 - We don't know each other. - Yes. 175 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,909 - And if you see me-- - I ignore you. 176 00:08:10,909 --> 00:08:11,952 Except if I talk to you fir-- 177 00:08:11,952 --> 00:08:14,746 Like, if I talk to you first, then you can talk to me. 178 00:08:14,746 --> 00:08:17,207 But if not, your gaze shall not-- 179 00:08:17,207 --> 00:08:18,667 Just stop looking at me. Stop staring at me. 180 00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:19,918 Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes. 181 00:08:19,918 --> 00:08:21,711 Your gaze shall not linger on me. 182 00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:22,712 Yes, Your Highness. 183 00:08:25,298 --> 00:08:26,925 You're a stranger to me. 184 00:08:26,925 --> 00:08:28,969 Okay. Strangers. It's a deal. 185 00:08:28,969 --> 00:08:30,220 - Seriously. - Yeah. 186 00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:34,891 Right now-- You can be my mom right now. 187 00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:40,605 - I love you, Mom. - I love you. 188 00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:54,035 ♪ 189 00:08:57,038 --> 00:08:58,039 Excuse me? 190 00:09:04,546 --> 00:09:05,547 Mom? 191 00:09:10,844 --> 00:09:13,096 - Oh! - Jesus! Fuck! 192 00:09:13,096 --> 00:09:14,890 ERIC: [chuckling] Pierce. 193 00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:18,727 Have you se-- Have you seen a woman? Like-- Like, mom-aged? 194 00:09:18,727 --> 00:09:22,147 Woman like mom-aged? Uh... no. No. 195 00:09:22,814 --> 00:09:25,233 Hey, so "terrorized." 196 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:28,653 Yeah, that's-- that's a-- It's a bit overdramatic, don't you think? 197 00:09:28,653 --> 00:09:30,071 What? 198 00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:32,490 You said I terrorized you in junior high. 199 00:09:33,742 --> 00:09:36,828 Yeah. Yeah, Eric, you did. You made my life a living hell. 200 00:09:38,997 --> 00:09:40,123 [softly] Yeah, it was-- 201 00:09:40,123 --> 00:09:41,166 Not that I... 202 00:09:44,252 --> 00:09:46,087 knew what hell was. Um... 203 00:09:47,797 --> 00:09:48,798 I have a paper to write. 204 00:09:48,798 --> 00:09:50,091 Hey then, then fuck your paper! 205 00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:51,301 Fuck you! 206 00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,137 Is that what you want? 207 00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:56,640 ♪ Connection by Elastica playing ♪ 208 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,475 ♪ Riding on any wave ♪ 209 00:09:58,475 --> 00:10:00,518 ♪ That is the luck you crave ♪ 210 00:10:00,518 --> 00:10:02,437 ♪ They don't believe it now ♪ 211 00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:04,481 ♪ They just think it's stupid ♪ 212 00:10:04,481 --> 00:10:07,859 ♪ 213 00:10:10,362 --> 00:10:11,363 [knock on door] 214 00:10:17,661 --> 00:10:18,912 I might need the bottle. 215 00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:22,832 Sure. You'll have to pry it from your brother's underage hands first. 216 00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:26,294 Have you read this story called The Nose? 217 00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:28,171 - JESS: No. - Mm. 218 00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:32,509 It-- It's about this guy whose nose walks away from his face. 219 00:10:32,509 --> 00:10:36,096 It's like-- I just-- How am I supposed to write five pages on this crap? 220 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:40,016 Come on, didn't you just finish a 20-page paper last week 221 00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:44,479 about the s-- sublime... subversiveness of something? 222 00:10:45,146 --> 00:10:47,607 This just is different, so. JESS: No. 223 00:10:48,024 --> 00:10:49,317 One more month, 224 00:10:50,902 --> 00:10:52,612 then you are free. Hm? 225 00:10:53,113 --> 00:10:54,906 A college graduate. Hm. 226 00:10:55,657 --> 00:10:56,658 Yeah. 227 00:10:58,076 --> 00:10:59,744 Magna cum laude. 228 00:11:12,716 --> 00:11:13,717 [softly] How's that? 229 00:11:16,177 --> 00:11:17,387 Does that feel good? 230 00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:18,388 [whispering] Stop. 231 00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:21,516 - [louder] Stop. Stop! - I'm s-- sorry. Sorry. 232 00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,268 I just-- 233 00:11:23,602 --> 00:11:25,520 - Sorry. - No. Just-- 234 00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:33,778 [door closes] 235 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,283 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 236 00:11:47,584 --> 00:11:48,585 [phone chimes] 237 00:12:38,927 --> 00:12:40,929 [raccoon chittering on video] 238 00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:47,852 ♪ somber music continues ♪ 239 00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:14,880 Okay. So... what are we to make 240 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:19,301 of what Gogol is trying to say with this story? 241 00:13:19,301 --> 00:13:22,929 And literary critics have been divided a century over this. 242 00:13:24,347 --> 00:13:26,057 [softly] Probably 'cause it's bullshit. 243 00:13:26,057 --> 00:13:27,142 What was that? 244 00:13:27,142 --> 00:13:29,853 Oh, man. [clears throat] 245 00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:32,147 Nothing. Nothing. 246 00:13:32,147 --> 00:13:33,356 No. 247 00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:34,733 No, you said it was bullshit. 248 00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:37,068 Why? 249 00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:39,779 Some guy's nose walks off his face one day 250 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:42,616 and goes out, has a rager, 251 00:13:42,616 --> 00:13:47,996 and we're expected to-- to believe that this thing that is impossible, 252 00:13:47,996 --> 00:13:50,957 that it's actually supposed to mean something? Um... 253 00:13:50,957 --> 00:13:52,709 Well, some would say that it's an allegory 254 00:13:52,709 --> 00:13:54,044 for male sexual impotence 255 00:13:54,044 --> 00:13:55,921 or divine immaculate conception. 256 00:13:55,921 --> 00:13:59,007 But perhaps it's just inviting us 257 00:13:59,007 --> 00:14:03,136 to consider what it would be like if the impossible became possible. 258 00:14:03,136 --> 00:14:04,971 I'm just sad that we haven't moved beyond literature 259 00:14:04,971 --> 00:14:07,641 by misogynistic male authors 260 00:14:07,641 --> 00:14:11,186 that can't write about anything except allegories for their broken dicks. 261 00:14:11,686 --> 00:14:17,108 Like, this-- this entire semester, we've only read one-- one female author! 262 00:14:17,108 --> 00:14:18,777 Well, you didn't have any problem 263 00:14:18,777 --> 00:14:21,863 writing a really fairly wonderful piece about Márquez. 264 00:14:21,863 --> 00:14:23,615 Márquez is different than Gogol! 265 00:14:23,615 --> 00:14:26,826 Then, I look forward to having you articulate the differences 266 00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:29,162 between Márquez and Gogol on your paper, 267 00:14:29,162 --> 00:14:31,081 which is required for you to graduate, so. 268 00:14:32,624 --> 00:14:35,168 That's class. Uh, thank you, everyone. 269 00:14:39,881 --> 00:14:42,384 Claire, if you want a little extra time-- 270 00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:44,094 We all understand that this is a difficult time. 271 00:14:44,094 --> 00:14:45,095 I don't. 272 00:14:49,724 --> 00:14:51,393 [indistinct chatter on TV] 273 00:14:55,188 --> 00:14:57,315 So this is how you spend your life? LUCAS: Shhh. 274 00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:01,111 Oh, you just made me miss what Monica said. 275 00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,867 Um, she was in a coma last week, 276 00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:10,579 but they think that she's gonna beat her breast cancer. 277 00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:15,834 Good for her. 278 00:15:17,252 --> 00:15:21,298 ...and vomiting and waking up having your hair on the pillow next to you... 279 00:15:21,298 --> 00:15:25,468 That's a stupid fucking cancer-hero narrative. 280 00:15:25,468 --> 00:15:26,761 Like... [scoffs] 281 00:15:28,096 --> 00:15:30,807 Mom died 'cause she didn't wanna live badly enough? 282 00:15:35,937 --> 00:15:36,938 I like the show. 283 00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:44,279 ...just keep going on this whole process... 284 00:15:44,279 --> 00:15:46,489 Do you ever think about why, out of all the people in the world, 285 00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:48,909 Mom had to die while everyone else just gets to live? 286 00:15:50,744 --> 00:15:51,745 Yeah. 287 00:15:54,497 --> 00:15:55,916 It makes me hate everyone. 288 00:15:58,668 --> 00:15:59,669 And everything. 289 00:16:03,798 --> 00:16:04,799 You wanna get wasted? 290 00:16:06,635 --> 00:16:09,638 ♪ Supernova by Liz Phair playing ♪ 291 00:16:11,306 --> 00:16:12,307 Fuck! 292 00:16:12,307 --> 00:16:13,516 - Can we get another one? - Oh. 293 00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:15,602 - You all right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 294 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:20,649 ♪ I have looked all over the place ♪ 295 00:16:20,649 --> 00:16:22,943 ♪ But you have got... ♪ 296 00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:24,986 He's my brother. Who do you think is older? 297 00:16:24,986 --> 00:16:27,614 I think she looks older, but I look more mature. 298 00:16:27,614 --> 00:16:28,657 What does that even mean? 299 00:16:29,282 --> 00:16:34,955 ♪ Your eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass ♪ 300 00:16:34,955 --> 00:16:38,375 ♪ And your lips are sweet and slippery ♪ 301 00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:42,420 ♪ Like a cherub's bare wet ass ♪ 302 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:46,633 ♪ 'Cause you're a human supernova... ♪ 303 00:16:47,217 --> 00:16:49,844 - Clare? Come on. - What the fuck? 304 00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:50,845 Oh, my God. Sorry. 305 00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:52,013 What the fuck? LUCAS: What? 306 00:16:54,683 --> 00:16:55,809 Come on. 307 00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:00,021 Ow! 308 00:17:00,021 --> 00:17:01,106 What the fuck? 309 00:17:01,856 --> 00:17:02,899 Claire, you're-- 310 00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:06,820 you're married, and then, now you're just a lesbian or something? 311 00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:10,198 I'm not anything, Lucas. I'm whatever the fuck I want to be. 312 00:17:10,198 --> 00:17:11,408 Oh, does Jess know that? 313 00:17:11,408 --> 00:17:13,034 Okay, I'm a terrible person! 314 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:14,661 Okay? 315 00:17:16,454 --> 00:17:17,747 I cheated on Jess. 316 00:17:18,248 --> 00:17:19,583 She was a chick. 317 00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:23,378 Jess doesn't even have to know about it. 318 00:17:23,378 --> 00:17:24,379 No. 319 00:17:25,672 --> 00:17:27,132 I'm not talking about her. 320 00:17:27,132 --> 00:17:28,258 What? 321 00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:30,176 Do you remember Joel? 322 00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:32,596 [urinating] At the funeral home? 323 00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:34,764 Yeah, he and I... 324 00:17:36,308 --> 00:17:37,434 Before Mom's funeral. 325 00:17:37,934 --> 00:17:40,061 - He and you what? - We boned. 326 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,606 And then a few weeks ago, I did the same thing with... 327 00:17:43,356 --> 00:17:46,651 this guy who used to bully me in junior high. 328 00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:49,988 He's a Deadhead now. 329 00:17:49,988 --> 00:17:51,239 What the fuck? 330 00:17:51,239 --> 00:17:54,618 Uh, Eric-- Eric Olsen. Do you remember him? 331 00:17:55,493 --> 00:17:57,078 We did it in the back of his Bronco. 332 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,750 Jesus Christ! Who are you? 333 00:18:03,001 --> 00:18:05,545 You're like Carly on General Hospital. She fucks everybody. 334 00:18:11,176 --> 00:18:12,761 I can't be good without her. 335 00:18:24,898 --> 00:18:27,901 ♪ 336 00:18:32,989 --> 00:18:35,992 [indistinct chatter] 337 00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:42,040 Um... Um, I'll catch up with you guys later. 338 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,250 - Okay. 339 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:44,251 - Bye. - Bye. 340 00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:54,636 - Good morning! - [gasps] Oh, dear God! 341 00:18:56,555 --> 00:18:58,223 - I brought you some coffee. - Yeah. 342 00:18:58,807 --> 00:19:00,141 It doesn't make up for it. 343 00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:01,142 You feel good? 344 00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:02,561 - You're gonna kill finals. - Okay. 345 00:19:02,978 --> 00:19:05,939 - Did you sleep here? - Early test. Too far to drive. 346 00:19:05,939 --> 00:19:07,399 Okay. Go, go, go. Gotta study. 347 00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:08,817 - Okay. Good luck. - Okay. 348 00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:10,151 - I love you. - I love you too. 349 00:19:10,151 --> 00:19:11,403 - Bye. - Bye. 350 00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:14,030 - Don't do that again. - Bye. [chuckles] 351 00:19:18,743 --> 00:19:21,746 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 352 00:19:25,542 --> 00:19:30,005 [music playing on Walkman] 353 00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:39,931 ♪ 354 00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:57,741 Clare? 355 00:19:57,741 --> 00:20:01,620 Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry. Just-- Shhh. 356 00:20:02,412 --> 00:20:03,622 Well, where were you? 357 00:20:06,124 --> 00:20:08,251 - At the library. - Oh, really? 358 00:20:08,251 --> 00:20:09,211 Ow! 359 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:10,921 Fuck! 360 00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:14,299 I was trying to... finish that paper. 361 00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:17,886 - Yeah? - You know, the one that I have to g-- graduate, 362 00:20:17,886 --> 00:20:20,847 and I just can't fucking start it. 363 00:20:20,847 --> 00:20:22,182 [sighs] Are you drunk? 364 00:20:23,558 --> 00:20:24,559 What? 365 00:20:25,101 --> 00:20:26,937 Were you trying to write it drunk? 366 00:20:27,938 --> 00:20:29,606 All writers drink. 367 00:20:29,606 --> 00:20:30,607 It's called... 368 00:20:31,441 --> 00:20:32,609 lubrication. 369 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,904 I'm just following in a grand literary tradition. 370 00:20:35,904 --> 00:20:36,905 Lucas was wasted too. 371 00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:40,867 He came home a couple of hours ago and he puked all over the bathroom. 372 00:20:41,952 --> 00:20:43,453 Yuck. Sorry. 373 00:20:46,373 --> 00:20:48,625 [exhales deeply] 374 00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:55,382 No. He's in high school, Clare. 375 00:20:57,467 --> 00:20:58,468 He's a kid. 376 00:21:02,430 --> 00:21:04,057 Someone has to look after him. 377 00:21:04,057 --> 00:21:05,600 Yeah, he needs his mom. 378 00:21:16,444 --> 00:21:17,654 We need our mom. 379 00:21:22,742 --> 00:21:24,744 ♪ 380 00:21:25,495 --> 00:21:31,501 ♪ Paper roses, paper roses ♪ 381 00:21:33,336 --> 00:21:37,632 ♪ Oh, how real they seem... ♪ 382 00:21:37,632 --> 00:21:38,967 Mom? 383 00:21:40,135 --> 00:21:43,346 ♪ But they're only... ♪ 384 00:21:43,930 --> 00:21:44,931 Mom? 385 00:21:46,349 --> 00:21:47,350 Mom! 386 00:21:52,564 --> 00:21:53,773 Hi, honey. 387 00:21:56,568 --> 00:21:57,736 You know what to do. 388 00:21:58,528 --> 00:21:59,529 Mom, no. 389 00:22:00,113 --> 00:22:01,281 It'll be so quick. 390 00:22:01,281 --> 00:22:02,282 [gasps] 391 00:22:04,659 --> 00:22:07,662 [panting] 392 00:22:21,927 --> 00:22:23,136 CLARE: What does it mean to heal? 393 00:22:26,806 --> 00:22:27,807 To move on? 394 00:22:31,144 --> 00:22:32,145 To let go? 395 00:22:36,816 --> 00:22:40,237 What does it mean when the worst thing that could happen 396 00:22:40,237 --> 00:22:41,488 actually happens? 397 00:22:43,156 --> 00:22:45,200 And it stops you cold in your tracks? 398 00:22:47,494 --> 00:22:51,039 My mother died on a Monday during spring break of our senior year. 399 00:22:53,333 --> 00:22:54,459 Mine and hers. 400 00:22:56,127 --> 00:22:59,172 After her funeral, I immediately went back to school 401 00:22:59,172 --> 00:23:00,840 because she begged me to. 402 00:23:03,802 --> 00:23:05,095 To prove her life mattered, 403 00:23:05,095 --> 00:23:08,723 I became determined to blow up the life I'd begun to build, 404 00:23:11,309 --> 00:23:13,186 the life my mother had wanted for me. 405 00:23:14,980 --> 00:23:16,273 I failed to get my diploma 406 00:23:16,273 --> 00:23:19,484 because I didn't complete a five-page paper on a short story 407 00:23:19,484 --> 00:23:22,445 about a man who woke up one day and couldn't find his nose. 408 00:23:24,114 --> 00:23:25,240 I couldn't bring myself to do it 409 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,952 because I thought the story was preposterous and incomprehensible. 410 00:23:29,619 --> 00:23:31,121 ERIC: I saw what they're doing for your mom. 411 00:23:32,038 --> 00:23:33,540 I'm so sorry. 412 00:23:34,791 --> 00:23:36,042 I had no idea. 413 00:23:38,753 --> 00:23:39,754 Thanks. 414 00:23:40,255 --> 00:23:41,256 Yeah. 415 00:23:43,967 --> 00:23:45,343 CLARE: There was no subtext. 416 00:23:46,344 --> 00:23:48,722 It was simply a story about what it was about... 417 00:23:51,725 --> 00:23:54,060 - Uh, thanks-- Yeah. - Yeah. 418 00:23:54,060 --> 00:23:55,270 Okay. 419 00:23:59,274 --> 00:24:02,360 CLARE: ...the absurd and arbitrary nature of disappearance... 420 00:24:10,619 --> 00:24:14,789 Finally, in memory of a gifted student 421 00:24:14,789 --> 00:24:17,250 who left this world far too soon. 422 00:24:17,250 --> 00:24:20,212 CLARE: ...our hungry ache to resurrect what was lost, 423 00:24:20,212 --> 00:24:23,965 and the bald truth that the impossible can become possible 424 00:24:23,965 --> 00:24:25,383 faster than anyone dreams. 425 00:24:25,383 --> 00:24:31,097 We posthumously honor Francis "Frankie" Pierce 426 00:24:31,097 --> 00:24:33,683 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in History. 427 00:24:40,273 --> 00:24:41,983 CLARE: My mother was alive and healthy. 428 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,320 And yet, seven weeks later, she was dead. 429 00:24:46,571 --> 00:24:47,572 Impossible. 430 00:24:53,161 --> 00:24:54,329 I had gone to college, 431 00:24:55,247 --> 00:24:57,582 and my mother had gone to college with me. 432 00:24:58,583 --> 00:24:59,584 Impossible. 433 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,303 I'd earned straight A's, 434 00:25:10,303 --> 00:25:11,805 and yet, I didn't graduate. 435 00:25:12,597 --> 00:25:14,391 But my dead mother did. 436 00:25:15,559 --> 00:25:16,935 Impossible too. 437 00:25:19,104 --> 00:25:23,608 Sometimes a story is not about anything except precisely what it is about. 438 00:25:27,153 --> 00:25:30,365 Sometimes you wake up and find that you actually have lost your nose. 439 00:25:31,533 --> 00:25:33,994 And you have to figure out how you're gonna live without it. 440 00:25:51,970 --> 00:25:56,892 WOMAN: Congratulations, Class of 1995! 441 00:25:56,892 --> 00:25:58,894 [students cheering] 442 00:26:16,953 --> 00:26:18,496 CLARE: As my mother once said, 443 00:26:20,248 --> 00:26:23,251 "You can't let the worst thing that happened to you stop you. 444 00:26:26,671 --> 00:26:27,672 "If you do, 445 00:26:29,841 --> 00:26:31,468 it's nobody's fault but your own." 446 00:26:44,981 --> 00:26:46,650 Okay, Rae. Rae? 447 00:26:47,150 --> 00:26:49,444 I am calling you Rae, okay? 448 00:26:54,616 --> 00:26:56,201 If you don't wanna do this, 449 00:26:57,953 --> 00:26:59,079 what do you want to do? 450 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,665 I just-- Can we just go home? 451 00:27:06,628 --> 00:27:07,629 Please? 452 00:27:09,631 --> 00:27:10,840 [Rae sniffling] 453 00:27:12,467 --> 00:27:13,468 Okay. 454 00:27:18,723 --> 00:27:19,724 Really? 455 00:27:21,893 --> 00:27:23,478 I want so much for you, 456 00:27:25,355 --> 00:27:28,275 but you're not gonna get any of it if you don't want it for yourself. 457 00:27:30,193 --> 00:27:31,194 [exhales] 458 00:27:32,988 --> 00:27:35,407 Healing is a small and ordinary thing. 459 00:27:40,036 --> 00:27:41,037 [sighs] 460 00:27:43,415 --> 00:27:45,166 And it's one thing and one thing only. 461 00:27:59,598 --> 00:28:01,391 It's doing the impossible thing 462 00:28:02,142 --> 00:28:03,310 every single day. 463 00:28:06,730 --> 00:28:08,732 ♪ I Know the End by Phoebe Bridgers playing ♪ 464 00:28:12,819 --> 00:28:17,240 ♪ Somewhere in Germany but I can't place it ♪ 465 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,535 ♪ Man, I hate this part of Texas ♪ 466 00:28:20,535 --> 00:28:23,705 ♪ Close my eyes, fantasize ♪ 467 00:28:23,705 --> 00:28:25,790 ♪ Three clicks and I'm home ♪ 468 00:28:26,791 --> 00:28:29,794 ♪ When I get back, I'll lay around ♪ 469 00:28:29,794 --> 00:28:33,173 ♪ Then I'll get up and lay back down ♪ 470 00:28:33,173 --> 00:28:36,551 ♪ Romanticize a quiet life ♪ 471 00:28:36,551 --> 00:28:39,137 ♪ There's no place like my room ♪ 472 00:28:42,182 --> 00:28:43,767 ♪ But you had to go ♪ 473 00:28:44,476 --> 00:28:47,062 ♪ I know, I know, I know ♪ 474 00:28:49,147 --> 00:28:53,526 ♪ Like a wave that crashed and melted on the shore ♪ 475 00:28:55,153 --> 00:28:59,950 ♪ Not even the burnouts are out here anymore ♪ 476 00:29:01,743 --> 00:29:03,286 ♪ And you had to go ♪ 477 00:29:03,870 --> 00:29:06,998 ♪ I know, I know, I know ♪