Waking up from another dream, I open my wet eyelids
I curse my helplessness from those far days which dreadfully remain
Will this despair that burns my body feed me someday?
I keep burning myself from it as I crave adoration
Your eyes with glittering stars in them
All dried up, poor thing, a lack of love?
A dazzling light that saves all from loneliness
Is this shadow that falls only on me because of you?
You have given me a fatal flaw
Selfish giant star, ruined lives
Please, let me hear your voice
Even these tangled and twisted wounds
You're the only one who gave them to me
Please, keep your eyes on me
I'll weaponize even the pain carved by fate
So that it can light the regrets from sometime
Without you, I cannot live anymore
I would sacrifice anything for you
I can't get enough of your love
What should I use to fill in what's missing?
Fatal, fatal, fatal love
Fatal, fatal, fatal I
Fatal, fatal, fatal sorrow
Keep your eyes on me, my dearest fatale!
My dearest fatale
You're weak! Weak, weak, weak, weak!
You weakling!
Your movements sure have gotten better, huh?
You still suck at acting, though.
I can barely keep up in terms of acting...
But, I won't lose when it comes to emotion!
Shouldn't you have been more
energetic in that last scene?
What choice did I have?
You perform like you're the leading actor,
and Akane Kurokawa performs like
she wants to seize the starring role.
If everyone does as they please,
the play won't come together.
Someone here has to be a coordinator.
Hmm...
By the way, what're you doing?
I wanted to read the script, so I went to put
on my glasses, but the makeup artist said...
Stop! Your makeup'll come off!
So now, I'm doing air glasses.
That should go without saying.
You don't wear contacts?
Nope.
Get some already! I bet you can't see
everyone's acting, can you?
It's fine - I can see their broad movements.
Oh, come on, what about their expressions?
Is it really necessary to see them?
I mean, it's not like people in
the far back can see 'em, right?
I don't incorporate things the audience
can't see into my acting.
So, it's best I can't see the actors' expressions in
the first place.
That's my thinking, anyway.
Fellow actors can converse through movement alone.
Even so, not wearing contacts is taking it too far.
Well, contacts scare me.
That's your real reason, isn't it?
As a rule, top-class people
are weird in some way or other.
So...
why're you checking the script now, anyway?
Kurokawa's in the groove,
and she's gonna devour us at this rate.
I'll insert some ad-libbing in this scene.
What?
That stuff needs to be done more ahead-
You're capable of playing off
any kind of ad-lib, aren't you?
Just who do you think I am?!
Enemy of my kin! You, of all people...!
Huh? Who're you talking about?
I can't remember every last soul I've slain!
You jumped the gun there.
You can't help yourself, can you?
I'll fight alongside you.
Ajiro...
Hyaa!
What?! Why are you having such trouble?!
Eradicate the Shinjuku vermin at once!
You come fight too, then!
So you're Shibuya's strongest fighter?
Do you have any actual aspirations?
Huh?
I assure you Princess Saya does.
Aspirations, eh? I wouldn't say I don't,
but explainin' myself in words ain't my forte.
So, I say...
Let's speak... with our blades!
Very well.
Taiki Himekawa...
Theater Company Lala Lai's star actor.
Each of his actions is filled with emotion.
He's like an incarnation of information.
Now, this is emotional acting.
Come on, what's wrong?
Let's have some fun!
Sorry, but faced with a higher-ranking actor,
I have no intention of fighting in the same ring.
Ooh...? He's emotionless.
A contrasting framework, eh?
A what?
In contrast to Himekawa laying his emotions bare,
Aqua-kun's acting suppresses his emotions.
A comparison in quality cannot
be made between the two.
Hmm...
The more Himekawa turns in a performance
that's like a scorching flame,
the more Aqua-kun's ice-cold acting stands out.
It's a clever counter.
However...
Himekawa is not an actor
who can be dealt with so easily.
You're no fun. Let's enjoy ourselves!
What's with that guy?
Plus, compared to other blades,
something about that oath sword...
It's almost time for the scene where
Himekawa-san wanted to do some ad-libbing...
Watch out, Tsurugi!
There it is!
Acting that's not in the script?!
Er, you're leaving it all up to ME?!
Aqua! I'll deftly play off that, so follow my-
Woman, is this the time to be playing around?
Risking one's life in mortal combat should be left to men.
If you can't stand on the battlefield without
the protection of man, leave at once.
He's ad-libbing?
I-I can fight!
With this soft body?
Why don't you try building it up a bit?
Hey, watch it! What're ya doin' to
a maiden's alluring body?!
So you're a woman, after all.
A man is someone who protects women
at the risk of his own life.
So, there's absolutely no way I'm going to lose.
He's back on script!
Aqua is this great at playing off others?
Enough "women this," "women that"!
Don't make light of me!
I'm doing no such thing.
I had no idea.
After all, up until now, I was never the one to be reckless.
If everyone does as they please,
the play won't come together.
Someone here has to be a coordinator.
Either way, I'm not going to do you any harm.
And in terms of blocking, he's led me to center stage.
He's set it up so that the audience is focused on me.
It's easy to act now.
Fellow actors can converse through movement alone.
You don't need to switch to a coordinator role.
Leave the backseat roles to me.
I'll run with whatever ad-lib is thrown at me.
Do the kind of acting you long to, Kana Arima.
You truly are good at confounding people, aren't you?
Apparently, once upon a time, my mother
wanted to become an entertainer.
Which is why she entrusted that dream to me.
When I made it big, she chatted with celebs she admired,
got invited to house parties,
postured as a full-fledged member of the industry,
and seemingly had a great time doing it all.
It was fun for me, too.
I just acted as I pleased without giving it much thought,
and everyone praised me as a genius child actor.
My mom was all smiles, too.
It was the happiest period of my life.
Which is why my mom was most sensitive
of all to the popularity of Kana Arima.
Once it was clear my public favor was waning,
my mother became a bit difficult.
Not caring how it made her look, she made sales pitches
and insisted I get more screen time,
which caused trouble on set.
And as for me, well, she started
to take it out on me a bit, too.
I think the fact my dad fell for another woman
was because he was disgusted
with who my mother had become.
Do the Bell Pepper Exercises
dance with Kana-chan!
This winter, TV dramas are hot!
Get ready with story & relationship charts!
Breaking News on
Winter TV Dramas!
My mom liked the "popular Kana Arima."
I had no choice but to survive in the industry.
Or else...
You won't last long in this industry if you can't
get along with those around you a bit better.
It's thanks to the director's words that,
somehow or other, I didn't vanish from the industry.
If he hadn't told me that back then, I would've been
long gone by now.
I learned I wasn't a genius...
and that adults are more concerned with kids'
ease of use in a project than their acting ability.
Auditions
He was saying they've already decided
to choose you in the audition.
It's some kind of mistake, right?
You wouldn't cheat like that, would you?
I forced myself to swallow all the distasteful stuff.
To survive in the industry, I learned how
to bring my acting in line with others.
You guys seem to be having fun acting.
Watching it is enjoyable for me, too.
But I'm fine over here.
That's what will make everyone happy.
Both the adults and Mom...
It's okay if I'm not the star.
You're always doing that...
Even if you lift me up, it won't change anything.
Tsurugi's role is that of a simple
and innocent combat fanatic.
A timid performance won't shine on stage, will it?
Well, you do have a point there.
But, I'll cause trouble for everyone
around me if I do as I please.
They're saying that's what they wanna see from you.
I'll back you up.
I also wanna see you act just the way you want to, Arima.
Oh... good grief!
Aqua, you're to blame for this!
You always drive me crazy!
Don't mock me!
Just who do ya think I am?!
That looks fun.
Oh, that's right.
Commercially, there was a tendency to highlight
her easy-to-understand tearful acting,
but it was with this sort of performance
that Kana Arima took the world by storm.
The acting of a star, as dazzling the sun
and so bright it scorches your eyes.
I've been utilizing her due to how handy of a performer
she is, but apparently her brilliance never faded.
You never really know, do you?
Look! You wanted to see it, didn't you? My acting!
Look at me more!
ba-dump
Kana-chan... Kana-chan... Kana-chan...!
ba-dump
Kana Arima!
Arima.
Akane.
You two do great acting and look like you're having fun.
You're so radiant.
And what about you?
I'm different.
I don't have the star quality you girls do.
That's right.
That's the Kana-chan I was longing to see.
That's the Kana-chan I wanted to outshine.
Hyaa!
Blade! Now!
Got it!
Hyaa!
I wanted to win... you know.
My wound...
Take up your sword.
Your woman's been slain,
and you're gonna back down in silence?
I've had enough.
I fought solely in service of Princess Saya.
Having failed to protect her,
I no longer have a reason to fight.
Is that all?
Isn't there something more?
Deep within you as well...
Acting's fun, huh?
But with you, the more fun it is,
the more pained you look.
Your anxiety will melt away
Panic Disorder
Panic disorder isn't all that
uncommon of a condition, you know.
I have a number of friends who have it, actually.
The way to deal with it is to know
what triggers you to panic.
Someone who panics on trains may
not be affected if they're with other people.
Not knowing when and where you'll have
a panic attack just brings about even more of them.
Trigger...
My trigger...
Your sense of guilt, is it not?
I actually have some acting experience myself.
After watching you for a few days, I figured it out.
There's a moment when you get engrossed
in a performance and find yourself having fun acting.
And it's invariably during those times
you get a panic attack.
You have a sense of guilt toward enjoying acting.
By extension, toward Ai -
a sense of guilt toward your mother.
That's what drives you mad.
Am I wrong?
So, you knew?
Well, I've known you a rather long time, after all.
I was vaguely aware.
That extraordinary attachment you siblings had to Ai...
Plus, the first time we met was on a set with Ai.
Once I realized, a whole lot made sense.
I also have a pretty good idea of
why you're so set on showbiz.
Must be tough on you.
Unable to enjoy performing, it's like you're acting
solely for the sake of exacting revenge, huh?
You could step away from acting for now and
concentrate on your therapy, you know?
I'm fine continuing like this.
I don't care what becomes of me.
My sole purpose for living is to avenge Ai.
I see.
In that case, you have only one option.
It's a painful, exhausting one.
You must no longer...
enjoy acting.
Those good at performing nearly all love doing so,
and their ability to enjoy acting is their greatest gift of all.
You must take the opposite course.
Suffer as you perform.
For you, acting is something painful and arduous.
Never again think of it as enjoyable.
Ai...
Out of my way, Taiki Himekawa!
Kana Arima!
Akane Kurokawa!
I'll defeat you all and attain recognition in this industry!
I need nothing else.
For me, acting equals revenge!
Episode 19
Trigger
Always been trapped into my life
No matter how I try, I cannot get it right
Back in my mind again and now it feels like
Nobody sees me like I do
Trying to find a way to get a hold on
To everything that's dear to me but then I don't know
Why I leave every time
But I'm crying
In the light of the stage I see, I realize
Whatever comes my way
Be it pain, be it rain, let me be
Lying
In the moment behind a veil I hide away
All of my words unsaid
They are scars in their own way
(And all this time
It never leaves my mind)