1 00:00:00,217 --> 00:00:03,727 - [Sam] Tonight, unaware he has a terrible podium allergy, 2 00:00:03,727 --> 00:00:06,157 it's Brennan Lee Mulligan. 3 00:00:06,157 --> 00:00:08,817 - So excited to be here, Sam! What's up... 4 00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:13,717 - [Sam] Discreetly paying tribute to the Illuminati, 5 00:00:13,717 --> 00:00:15,637 it's Jacob Wysocki. 6 00:00:15,637 --> 00:00:18,907 - Wow, season three. What a true, true honor. 7 00:00:18,907 --> 00:00:20,887 It is so nice to see everybody. 8 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,887 How's everybody doing out there, huh? Woo! 9 00:00:24,907 --> 00:00:27,487 - [Sam] And daring the snipers to take a shot, 10 00:00:27,487 --> 00:00:29,587 it's Lou Wilson. 11 00:00:29,587 --> 00:00:32,587 - Hey, good day, everyone. Here I am, right in the open. 12 00:00:32,587 --> 00:00:35,017 Right here. Not even moving. 13 00:00:35,017 --> 00:00:37,355 Give it a shot, motherfucker! 14 00:00:37,355 --> 00:00:42,355 - They're all here to... - Make some noise! 15 00:00:42,605 --> 00:00:45,355 (cheerful music) 16 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,207 - Welcome to "Make Some Noise", 17 00:00:55,207 --> 00:00:58,147 the game so good we spun it off unchanged. 18 00:00:58,147 --> 00:00:59,767 I am your host, Sam Reich. Here's how the show works. 19 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:02,677 I have here a series of improvisational prompts 20 00:01:02,677 --> 00:01:05,797 our players have never seen before. 21 00:01:05,797 --> 00:01:07,747 Isn't that right, players? 22 00:01:07,747 --> 00:01:09,157 - Here's the thing about this bit. 23 00:01:09,157 --> 00:01:10,957 We do it every season, 24 00:01:10,957 --> 00:01:13,087 and I feel like people at home don't get the bit. 25 00:01:13,087 --> 00:01:15,277 If I had a box, and you couldn't see in it, 26 00:01:15,277 --> 00:01:18,547 and I said, "Have you seen the thing in this box before?" 27 00:01:18,547 --> 00:01:21,100 You'd be crazy to say no! - No! 28 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:23,107 - No? 29 00:01:23,107 --> 00:01:24,337 - Yes, the prompts are all 30 00:01:24,337 --> 00:01:26,611 future "Dimension 20" season titles. 31 00:01:26,611 --> 00:01:27,847 - Oh. 32 00:01:27,847 --> 00:01:29,197 - They will, to the best of their ability, 33 00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:30,030 fulfill those prompts, 34 00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:31,054 I will award them corresponding points, 35 00:01:31,054 --> 00:01:33,967 and the winner will go home with the coveted golden ear. 36 00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:36,097 - It's very gold this season. - Yes, it's very shiny. 37 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,977 Which is missing a giant AirPod, 38 00:01:38,977 --> 00:01:40,807 if anyone's seen one lying around. 39 00:01:40,807 --> 00:01:43,687 Players, are you ready to rumble? 40 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,587 - Woo! - Let's do it. 41 00:01:44,587 --> 00:01:45,937 - Come on! - [Sam] First up, 42 00:01:45,937 --> 00:01:50,937 a little warmup game to whet your palates. 43 00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:52,897 This is a little game we like to call Take Some Direction. 44 00:01:52,897 --> 00:01:54,817 How it works is, players, I'm going to give you 45 00:01:54,817 --> 00:01:56,337 a line of dialogue- - Great. 46 00:01:56,337 --> 00:01:59,737 - ...to repeat over and over and over again. 47 00:01:59,737 --> 00:02:03,307 As you do, I'm going to be giving you direction, 48 00:02:03,307 --> 00:02:05,377 micro-adjustments, if you will, 49 00:02:05,377 --> 00:02:06,937 to incorporate into your performances. 50 00:02:06,937 --> 00:02:08,287 Does that make sense? - Yeah. 51 00:02:08,287 --> 00:02:12,787 - Your line is, "Keep the change, ya filthy animal." 52 00:02:12,787 --> 00:02:15,067 Brennan, we'll start with you. No direction. 53 00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,207 Take it away whenever you're ready. 54 00:02:16,207 --> 00:02:18,759 (with irregular intonation) - Keep the change, you filthy animal. 55 00:02:18,759 --> 00:02:20,209 (Sam and crew laughing) 56 00:02:20,209 --> 00:02:21,187 - Was that really- 57 00:02:21,187 --> 00:02:22,597 - That's my neutral. Is that bad? 58 00:02:22,597 --> 00:02:24,517 - [Sam] Jake, give me a little bit more. 59 00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:28,837 (nasal and high-pitched) - Keep the change, you filthy animals! 60 00:02:28,837 --> 00:02:30,517 - Lou, give me a little bit more. 61 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:31,467 (very high-pitched) - Listen here! 62 00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:36,757 Keep the change, you filthy animals! 63 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,137 - Brennan, politely. 64 00:02:38,137 --> 00:02:39,217 - Someone's gotta keep the change, 65 00:02:39,217 --> 00:02:41,047 and if you want it to be me, 66 00:02:41,047 --> 00:02:43,147 I'd be happy to keep the change. 67 00:02:43,147 --> 00:02:45,337 But my understanding of what we were asked to do 68 00:02:45,337 --> 00:02:47,411 is make sure that a filthy animal had it. 69 00:02:47,411 --> 00:02:48,653 (Sam laughing) 70 00:02:48,653 --> 00:02:50,917 If you feel that that describes you, I would love, 71 00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:53,947 if that were to happen to be you, to do that. 72 00:02:53,947 --> 00:02:55,117 - Jake, under your breath. 73 00:02:55,117 --> 00:02:56,857 - Keep the change, you filthy animal. 74 00:02:56,857 --> 00:02:59,099 - [Sam] Lou, on an inhale instead of an exhale. 75 00:02:59,099 --> 00:03:01,816 (Lou exhales) 76 00:03:01,816 --> 00:03:03,583 - Keep the change, you filthy animal. 77 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,887 - There it is! - There it is! 78 00:03:05,887 --> 00:03:09,798 - Brennan, like a sweet wittle baby. 79 00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,707 (Brennan babbling like a sweet wittle baby) 80 00:03:11,707 --> 00:03:14,555 Jake, like it's the secret code to a speakeasy. 81 00:03:14,555 --> 00:03:15,907 (Jacob knocks on the podium) 82 00:03:15,907 --> 00:03:18,487 - Keep the change, you filthy animal. 83 00:03:18,487 --> 00:03:19,927 - [Sam] Lou, to your beloved pet. 84 00:03:19,927 --> 00:03:22,362 - Aw! (babbling adoringly) 85 00:03:22,362 --> 00:03:25,477 Keep the change, you filthy animal! 86 00:03:25,477 --> 00:03:28,417 I don't have a pet, so. (everyone laughing) 87 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:32,677 - Brennan, like a sweetie wittle baby who needs his baba. 88 00:03:33,898 --> 00:03:35,689 (crew laughing) 89 00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:37,486 - Give me my fucking baba. 90 00:03:37,486 --> 00:03:38,452 (Sam and crew laughing) 91 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:42,187 - Jake, like it's code for, "I'm DTF." 92 00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:43,267 - Yeah, keep the change. 93 00:03:43,267 --> 00:03:44,947 Keep the change, you filthy animal. Whatever you want. 94 00:03:44,947 --> 00:03:46,957 - Lou, like a heckler at a comedy club. 95 00:03:46,957 --> 00:03:48,599 - Hey! 96 00:03:48,599 --> 00:03:49,927 Hey! 97 00:03:49,927 --> 00:03:50,760 Hey! 98 00:03:51,937 --> 00:03:54,617 Keep the change, you filthy animal! 99 00:03:56,123 --> 00:03:56,956 Me, dude. 100 00:03:56,956 --> 00:04:01,432 - Brennan, like the sweetest, widdlest widdle baby 101 00:04:01,432 --> 00:04:03,826 with a poopy-oopy diaper. 102 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,176 (imitates baby cries) 103 00:04:05,176 --> 00:04:06,217 - I don't care how sweet the baby is. 104 00:04:06,217 --> 00:04:08,407 If it has a poopy-oopy diaper, it's upset. 105 00:04:08,407 --> 00:04:10,224 - Yeah. (Brennan crying) 106 00:04:10,224 --> 00:04:11,970 - Keep the change, you filthy animal! 107 00:04:11,970 --> 00:04:13,567 I still need my baba! 108 00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:16,130 It's unclear if we're building on the last prompt! 109 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:19,117 - Jake, as a WWE entrance line. 110 00:04:19,117 --> 00:04:21,794 - About $8,000 worth of pyrotechnics. 111 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,017 (imitates explosion) 112 00:04:23,017 --> 00:04:26,219 Keep the change, you filthy animal! 113 00:04:26,219 --> 00:04:27,052 Yeah! 114 00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:32,223 (everyone laughing) 115 00:04:33,711 --> 00:04:38,262 - And finally, Lou, shouting over your flamethrower. 116 00:04:38,262 --> 00:04:42,319 - Keep the change, you filthy animals! 117 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:47,080 - And that is a minigame. Bravo, gentlemen. 118 00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:49,915 Way to warm. (jazzy music) 119 00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:54,157 That brings us to round one. Brennan. 120 00:04:54,157 --> 00:04:56,017 - Let's go. - [Sam] Almost performing, 121 00:04:56,017 --> 00:05:01,017 and then asking for clarification on this prompt five times. 122 00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:03,787 - Sorry, is this prompt sort of referencing itself? 123 00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:05,017 - Yes, it's a meta prompt. 124 00:05:05,017 --> 00:05:06,517 - I'm totally fine to do it. 125 00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:10,237 My concern would be that it's a little bit meta, 126 00:05:10,237 --> 00:05:12,457 just for the first beat of the show. 127 00:05:12,457 --> 00:05:14,407 - I would nonetheless appreciate it 128 00:05:14,407 --> 00:05:15,877 if you would just take a stab at it. 129 00:05:15,877 --> 00:05:18,547 - I want to do this, because I think it's challenging. 130 00:05:18,547 --> 00:05:20,077 I've noticed for "Make Some Noise" 131 00:05:20,077 --> 00:05:23,137 I tend to get very cerebral prompts. 132 00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:25,057 - Yes, that is true. - You know what I'm saying? 133 00:05:25,057 --> 00:05:26,617 I don't want anyone to feel lost. 134 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,597 What would it look like to reference this prompt? 135 00:05:28,597 --> 00:05:30,667 - I think I would probably begin with like 136 00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:33,547 some sort of commentary about it being a meta prompt. 137 00:05:33,547 --> 00:05:36,607 - Isn't that sort of putting a hat on a hat, though? 138 00:05:36,607 --> 00:05:38,467 (Sam laughing) It's already meta. 139 00:05:38,467 --> 00:05:41,227 Are we worried that by commenting on its meta-ness, 140 00:05:41,227 --> 00:05:42,367 it's like a matryoshka doll? 141 00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:44,137 We're kind of incepting ourselves. 142 00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:48,427 - It would be, if we then began to comment on commenting 143 00:05:48,427 --> 00:05:50,107 about it being a meta prompt. 144 00:05:50,107 --> 00:05:53,217 - I'm so close to beginning this prompt, but I do want to... 145 00:05:53,217 --> 00:05:55,926 Do you guys feel like we're going to... 146 00:05:57,132 --> 00:05:58,271 (Brennan gasps) 147 00:05:58,271 --> 00:05:59,504 (Sam and crew laughing) 148 00:05:59,504 --> 00:06:00,957 Jacob knows a secret spot on my neck. 149 00:06:00,957 --> 00:06:02,767 - It calms him down. - It calms me down! 150 00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:05,917 - It's like a virtual whoosah. (buzzer buzzing) 151 00:06:05,917 --> 00:06:08,197 - It's like picking up a dog by the scruff. 152 00:06:08,197 --> 00:06:11,857 - Yeah, I immediately zen. I immediately go zen. 153 00:06:11,857 --> 00:06:13,567 - Let's say one fifth of a point for you. 154 00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:14,400 - Wow. 155 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,990 - Just, you know, for all the false starts. 156 00:06:16,897 --> 00:06:17,947 Jacob. 157 00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:22,947 Jacob Wysocki's alter ego, Jacob Ice Hockey. 158 00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:24,847 - Ooh yes! Yes! - Finally. 159 00:06:24,847 --> 00:06:26,437 - Tell me I'm the first person to do this. 160 00:06:26,437 --> 00:06:27,737 - Yeah, you're the first person to do this. 161 00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:28,874 - Hell yeah! 162 00:06:28,874 --> 00:06:30,577 - You're the first person to see Wysocki 163 00:06:30,577 --> 00:06:32,767 and go, "Ice hockey!" (Sam laughing) 164 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,158 - You need more space? 165 00:06:34,158 --> 00:06:37,477 - Yeah, man. Yeah, man. - I'm gonna head out. 166 00:06:37,477 --> 00:06:40,060 - Jacob Ice Hockey needs this. 167 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:41,884 - [Brennan] Oh no! 168 00:06:45,954 --> 00:06:48,362 (Lou cackling) 169 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,247 - Nice to see you, eh? 170 00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:53,527 (Sam and crew laughing) 171 00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:55,717 You want to go smoke some (indistinct)? 172 00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:57,967 I'm sick to my stomachs, fam. 173 00:06:57,967 --> 00:07:00,247 Nice to see everybody. Thanks for being here. 174 00:07:00,247 --> 00:07:02,095 That's it for me. 175 00:07:02,095 --> 00:07:04,417 (crew laughing loudly) 176 00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:06,577 Oh, and don't forget! 177 00:07:06,577 --> 00:07:08,710 My last name, Ice Hockey. 178 00:07:12,217 --> 00:07:13,850 - I can't fault you there. (buzzer buzzing) 179 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,920 I can't fault you there, Jake. 180 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,197 - Thank you for the space. - You needed it! 181 00:07:17,197 --> 00:07:18,277 - It wouldn't have happened. 182 00:07:18,277 --> 00:07:22,897 - Two tickets to Jacob Ice Hockey on ice for you, Jake. 183 00:07:22,897 --> 00:07:23,730 Lou. 184 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,717 - You got something for me, Sam? 185 00:07:25,717 --> 00:07:27,120 - Let's make that a thing. 186 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,567 - I feel like I'm trying out catchphrases today. 187 00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:29,400 - Yeah, do it! 188 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:34,227 Five laughs, each a little wealthier than the last. 189 00:07:35,107 --> 00:07:37,420 (Lou chuckles) 190 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:39,019 (Lou laughs deeply) 191 00:07:39,019 --> 00:07:39,902 (Brennan laughs) 192 00:07:39,902 --> 00:07:41,251 - [Sam] Yeah, a little bit. 193 00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,486 (Lou chortles) 194 00:07:42,486 --> 00:07:44,251 (Sam laughs) 195 00:07:44,251 --> 00:07:46,751 (Lou guffaws like a cartoonish rich man) 196 00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:52,555 (Lou cackles like a wealthy supervillain) 197 00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:56,557 That last one was a sadistic billionaire. 198 00:07:56,557 --> 00:07:57,937 - Of course. - Yeah, Lou. 199 00:07:57,937 --> 00:08:01,387 Let's say a Lou Wilson net worth Google search 200 00:08:01,387 --> 00:08:02,853 amount of points for you. - Ooo! 201 00:08:02,853 --> 00:08:03,727 - Those are always correct. 202 00:08:03,727 --> 00:08:05,017 - Brennan. - Yeah-huh? 203 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:10,017 - What's in the 'Elon Musk' at a New York City deli? 204 00:08:10,597 --> 00:08:11,430 - For people that don't know, 205 00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:12,547 there's a lot of famous New York delis 206 00:08:12,547 --> 00:08:15,397 that have sandwiches named after people that were either 207 00:08:15,397 --> 00:08:17,497 the famous sandwich that they ordered, or what they loved. 208 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,007 Elon Musk is the latest in a long line of technocrats 209 00:08:21,007 --> 00:08:24,067 who offer absolutely nothing to society. 210 00:08:24,067 --> 00:08:27,187 They posture as inventors and visionaries. 211 00:08:27,187 --> 00:08:28,837 - This is the second time you've taken 212 00:08:28,837 --> 00:08:30,547 what I thought was going to be a bit 213 00:08:30,547 --> 00:08:32,377 and just gone off on the monologue. 214 00:08:32,377 --> 00:08:34,777 - Let's pretend it says, "A New York guy- 215 00:08:34,777 --> 00:08:35,610 - Sure, yes. 216 00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:37,507 - ...describing what's in the Elon Musk." 217 00:08:37,507 --> 00:08:39,697 (New York accent) Hey, welcome to the New York deli. 218 00:08:39,697 --> 00:08:40,530 - Hey! We're back at the show! 219 00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:42,367 - How we doin'? You want an Elon Musk? 220 00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:45,247 Great, that's a foot long semolina 221 00:08:45,247 --> 00:08:48,427 with an absolutely cratering Tesla stock 222 00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:49,897 in the middle, okay? (Sam laughs) 223 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,057 And then we smear that with an aioli, 224 00:08:52,057 --> 00:08:53,947 which is just a fancy mayonnaise, 225 00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:56,377 and then on top of that, we put a person 226 00:08:56,377 --> 00:09:00,187 (drops accent) who's being poisoned mentally by the social media company 227 00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:02,107 that they bought, and should not have, 228 00:09:02,107 --> 00:09:05,407 who is radically becoming basically a neo-Nazi 229 00:09:05,407 --> 00:09:08,137 in front of all of our eyes. - We lost the character. 230 00:09:08,137 --> 00:09:10,836 (accent returns) - No, no! And we got some gabagool! 231 00:09:10,836 --> 00:09:14,170 We got some gabagool, and we put it on. Molto bene! 232 00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,364 ♪ This is the night ♪ 233 00:09:16,364 --> 00:09:17,917 - Yeah, can we get one of those, 234 00:09:17,917 --> 00:09:19,207 but without the Tesla stock? 235 00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:21,510 - But you do want the rapid descent into fascism? 236 00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:22,861 - Yes. - [Brennan] Okay, you got it. 237 00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:24,153 ♪ Makin' the sandwich, makin' the sandwich ♪ 238 00:09:24,153 --> 00:09:25,215 (buzzer buzzing) 239 00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:26,842 - I love, "Makin' a sandwich." 240 00:09:26,842 --> 00:09:29,917 ♪ Makin' a sandwich, makin' a sandwich ♪ 241 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,142 - Eight points on soggy wet bread for you, Brennan. 242 00:09:32,142 --> 00:09:33,067 - Wow. Thank you. 243 00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:34,627 - Jacob. - One quick sip. 244 00:09:34,627 --> 00:09:35,752 - You may need it. 245 00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:41,380 Tonight's DJ set, Prospector Bugaboo's Electric Jamboree. 246 00:09:42,424 --> 00:09:44,377 (Jacob whistling cheerily) 247 00:09:44,377 --> 00:09:46,377 - I'm warming up. (whooping) (Sam laughing) 248 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,737 (Imitating a record playing a hog call) - Sooie, sooie, sooie, sooie sooie 249 00:09:49,737 --> 00:09:51,306 Sooie! 250 00:09:51,306 --> 00:09:52,332 You know you got that... 251 00:09:52,332 --> 00:09:53,166 You got that... 252 00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:54,126 You know you got that... 253 00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,837 You got that good, good gold! 254 00:09:55,837 --> 00:09:58,807 You got that, you got that, you got that good, good gold! 255 00:09:58,807 --> 00:09:59,640 And don't forget, you're at 256 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,698 (imitates a record slowing down) Bugaboo's Electric Jamboree! 257 00:10:02,698 --> 00:10:03,556 (Sam laughing) 258 00:10:03,556 --> 00:10:07,057 Giddy-on, giddy-on, giddy-on, giddy-on my big one. 259 00:10:07,057 --> 00:10:10,684 Giddy-on my big one. Big, big, big! 260 00:10:10,684 --> 00:10:13,548 (Jacob scatting) (Sam laughing) 261 00:10:13,548 --> 00:10:18,520 (rhythmic scatting) 262 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,527 (scatting continues) 263 00:10:20,527 --> 00:10:22,363 - [Jacob] Where's your claim? 264 00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:24,190 (indistinct) selling shovels. 265 00:10:25,444 --> 00:10:26,277 (Sam laughing) 266 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:27,247 (buzzer buzzing) (crew cheering) 267 00:10:27,247 --> 00:10:28,957 - [Sam] I like that a lot, Jake. 268 00:10:28,957 --> 00:10:29,992 - I jumped in on the jug. - [Sam] Way to go. 269 00:10:29,992 --> 00:10:30,983 - That was great, that was great. 270 00:10:30,983 --> 00:10:34,417 - I jumped in on the jug. - I think that was perfect. 271 00:10:34,417 --> 00:10:35,767 - I think that's exactly it. 272 00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:39,337 - Yeah, let's say what looks like 30 points, 273 00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:43,177 but is actually 30 fools worth of points for you. 274 00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:46,387 Last prompt of round one. Lou. 275 00:10:46,387 --> 00:10:49,657 - Now Sam, I told you not to come around here 276 00:10:49,657 --> 00:10:51,115 without no prompt. 277 00:10:51,115 --> 00:10:52,865 (Sam and crew laughing) 278 00:10:54,037 --> 00:10:57,175 - [Sam] Hell yeah. Hell yeah. - I'm trying catchphrases! 279 00:10:57,175 --> 00:10:58,234 - Oh, you're trying catchphrases. 280 00:10:58,234 --> 00:10:59,975 - He's digging in on those catchphrases, for sure. 281 00:10:59,975 --> 00:11:00,808 - My bad. 282 00:11:00,808 --> 00:11:04,072 - [Sam] Your problematic grandpa comes full circle 283 00:11:04,072 --> 00:11:05,222 (Brennan chortles) 284 00:11:05,222 --> 00:11:07,575 on a single specific issue. 285 00:11:07,575 --> 00:11:10,057 - Jason, can I ask you something? 286 00:11:10,057 --> 00:11:14,227 Jason, I've been seeing how the kids these days, they're uh, 287 00:11:14,227 --> 00:11:17,693 you guys are going to non-alcoholic bars? 288 00:11:17,693 --> 00:11:19,837 (Brennan and crew laughing) 289 00:11:19,837 --> 00:11:20,887 The hell is that? 290 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:21,967 You want to have a drink, 291 00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:23,677 but you don't want to have a drink, 292 00:11:23,677 --> 00:11:25,201 but you want to have a drink? 293 00:11:25,201 --> 00:11:26,034 I don't understand. (Sam laughing) 294 00:11:26,034 --> 00:11:29,497 I mean, back in the day, you go to a bar, you meet a girl, 295 00:11:29,497 --> 00:11:32,491 you take her home, you do a little something, 296 00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:34,687 you get a little married, and you have a beautiful life. 297 00:11:34,687 --> 00:11:37,687 I mean, what are you doing, turning bars into places 298 00:11:37,687 --> 00:11:40,837 where people can commune and, what, 299 00:11:40,837 --> 00:11:42,967 enjoy each other's company? 300 00:11:42,967 --> 00:11:44,666 Have a long chat? 301 00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:46,267 (Brennan chortles) 302 00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:50,233 And not rely on the dark liquor 303 00:11:50,233 --> 00:11:51,397 (Everyone laughing) 304 00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,707 to lubricate social interaction? 305 00:11:53,707 --> 00:11:56,437 You're telling me you find out who your real friends are, 306 00:11:56,437 --> 00:11:59,587 and who your fake friends are that you can only tolerate 307 00:11:59,587 --> 00:12:01,750 when you're drunk out of your mind? 308 00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:05,867 (sadly) You're just with your friends, like when you were young? 309 00:12:07,867 --> 00:12:10,267 Jason, can we go to one of these non-alcoholic bars? 310 00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:11,510 (buzzer buzzing) 311 00:12:11,510 --> 00:12:14,199 - [Sam] Oh, I love Grandpa! - Beautiful. 312 00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:16,687 - An old dog learning new tricks amount of points 313 00:12:16,687 --> 00:12:18,016 for you, Lou. - Wow. 314 00:12:18,016 --> 00:12:19,657 (cheerful music) 315 00:12:19,657 --> 00:12:22,567 - That brings us to our second minigame. 316 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,937 This is a little game we like to call 317 00:12:24,937 --> 00:12:27,067 Now "That's What I Call". 318 00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:29,887 In this case, masturbation. 319 00:12:29,887 --> 00:12:34,147 Players, I am going to give you a series of locations, 320 00:12:34,147 --> 00:12:36,577 contexts, regions, if you will. 321 00:12:36,577 --> 00:12:40,687 You buzz in and let me know what masturbation is called, 322 00:12:40,687 --> 00:12:43,447 a nickname for it, in said location. 323 00:12:43,447 --> 00:12:45,787 Does that make sense? - Nasty. So nasty. 324 00:12:45,787 --> 00:12:48,880 - First off, Portland, Oregon. 325 00:12:50,286 --> 00:12:51,788 (Sam laughing) 326 00:12:51,788 --> 00:12:52,621 (buzzer dings) 327 00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:54,187 Eyes on Lou. Lou! 328 00:12:54,187 --> 00:12:55,567 - Organic reclamation. 329 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,117 - Ooh! - Wow. 330 00:12:58,117 --> 00:12:59,865 - That's gonna be tough to beat. 331 00:12:59,865 --> 00:13:01,477 (buzzer dings) ♪ Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪ 332 00:13:01,477 --> 00:13:02,707 Again, that's my buzzer sound. 333 00:13:02,707 --> 00:13:04,248 - Oh my god, Jake. - [Jacob] That is not- 334 00:13:04,248 --> 00:13:05,081 (Brennan laughs) 335 00:13:05,081 --> 00:13:07,027 - Of course, now I will say what it is. 336 00:13:07,027 --> 00:13:09,187 - Yes. - It's the city of bridges, 337 00:13:09,187 --> 00:13:12,290 which of course, I mean, is a frenulum. 338 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,134 - I like that, Jake. I see what you did there, too. 339 00:13:13,134 --> 00:13:15,577 - It's a big thinker. - I just keep thinking, 340 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,347 how do I combine a penny-farthing bicycle- 341 00:13:18,347 --> 00:13:19,930 (Lou laughs) (buzzer dings) 342 00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:21,007 ♪ Ba-du-ba-du-bwee ♪ 343 00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:21,840 - Jacob. 344 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,708 - Portland, Orgasm. - Woo! 345 00:13:24,577 --> 00:13:25,627 - You know what? Great. 346 00:13:25,627 --> 00:13:27,097 I am going to say this one goes to Lou. 347 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,467 - And thank god, 'cause Brennan put his hand on the buzzer, 348 00:13:29,467 --> 00:13:30,907 like he'd finally conquered 349 00:13:30,907 --> 00:13:32,917 penny-farthings and masturbation. 350 00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:34,387 - [Sam] The mad scientist did it. 351 00:13:34,387 --> 00:13:36,870 Next up, a dorm shower. 352 00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:37,703 (buzzer dings) 353 00:13:37,703 --> 00:13:39,067 ♪ Bi-di-di-di-di-di-dee-di-di ♪ 354 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:41,406 - Jake. - The fungus ruckus. 355 00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:42,772 (Sam chuckles) 356 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,217 - I like it. Brennan. (buzzer dings) 357 00:13:45,217 --> 00:13:47,117 - The least gross thing that happens here. 358 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,267 - Yeah, yeah. 359 00:13:49,267 --> 00:13:52,207 Let's say that one goes to Brennan. 360 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,402 - [Sam] Next up, a sperm bank. 361 00:13:54,402 --> 00:13:55,447 (buzzer dings) Brennan. 362 00:13:55,447 --> 00:13:57,517 - Making a deposit. - Absolutely, we do. 363 00:13:57,517 --> 00:13:59,047 - Really good. (buzzer dings) 364 00:13:59,047 --> 00:13:59,880 - Lou. 365 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,496 - A deeply caring and thoughtful act. 366 00:14:02,496 --> 00:14:04,297 (Brennan and crew laughing) 367 00:14:04,297 --> 00:14:05,947 - A little side hustle there, Lou? 368 00:14:05,947 --> 00:14:08,572 - Please guys, come on down. (Sam laughing) 369 00:14:08,572 --> 00:14:09,413 (buzzer dings) 370 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,587 ♪ Bi-du-di-du-dwee-do-du-du ♪ 371 00:14:11,587 --> 00:14:13,548 - Jacob. - A whale of a good time. 372 00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:14,381 (Brennan laughing) 373 00:14:15,223 --> 00:14:19,657 - Let's say that one goes to Lou once more. 374 00:14:19,657 --> 00:14:23,037 - [Sam] Next up, back in your grandpa's day. 375 00:14:23,037 --> 00:14:23,947 (buzzer dings) Brennan. 376 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,163 - Fighting the Kaiser. 377 00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:26,763 (Sam and crew laughing) 378 00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:30,457 - That one really got me. Lou. (buzzer dings) 379 00:14:30,457 --> 00:14:33,455 - Going back around to say hello to Vinny Spigot. 380 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,571 (Brennan laughing) 381 00:14:34,571 --> 00:14:35,929 - Who's that?! 382 00:14:35,929 --> 00:14:37,450 - Somebody from your grandpa's day. 383 00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:38,283 (buzzer dings) - [Sam] Brennan. 384 00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:41,077 - A Protestant thunderstorm. (Sam and crew laughing) 385 00:14:41,077 --> 00:14:42,847 - I feel like you could do this one for a while. 386 00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:44,738 - This is right in my lane. (Sam laughs) 387 00:14:44,738 --> 00:14:45,571 This is right in my wheelhouse. 388 00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:46,404 (buzzer dings) 389 00:14:46,404 --> 00:14:47,557 ♪ Doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo ♪ 390 00:14:47,557 --> 00:14:49,708 - [Sam] Jacob. - World War Me! 391 00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:51,174 (Brennan and crew laughing) 392 00:14:51,174 --> 00:14:52,477 (Sam laughing) 393 00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:54,517 I needed that inspiration, though. You inspired that. 394 00:14:54,517 --> 00:14:56,137 - It's also because it implies 395 00:14:56,137 --> 00:14:58,705 that this guy's having a really hard time. 396 00:14:58,705 --> 00:15:00,487 (Sam and crew laughing) 397 00:15:00,487 --> 00:15:03,067 I'm gonna need about a whole day to get this job done! 398 00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:05,620 - Self love can be a battlefield of its own. 399 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,227 - Let's say that point goes to Brennan. 400 00:15:08,227 --> 00:15:11,027 Next up, a priest's confessional. 401 00:15:11,027 --> 00:15:11,866 (buzzer dings) 402 00:15:11,866 --> 00:15:13,837 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-dwee-doo-doo-doo ♪ 403 00:15:13,837 --> 00:15:15,517 - Jake. - Guilty pleasure. 404 00:15:15,517 --> 00:15:17,617 - Ooh, elegant. (buzzer dings) 405 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:20,287 Brennan. - Tran-cum-stantiation. 406 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,369 Tran-cum-stantiation! 407 00:15:22,369 --> 00:15:23,714 (Sam laughs) 408 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,417 - I was about to repeat it on your behalf. 409 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:26,250 - Do you see what I did? 410 00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:28,383 I put the word cum in transubstantiation. 411 00:15:28,383 --> 00:15:29,216 (buzzer dings) 412 00:15:29,216 --> 00:15:31,557 - [Sam] Lou. - (groaning) Our Father! 413 00:15:31,557 --> 00:15:32,723 (Brennan and crew laughing) 414 00:15:33,629 --> 00:15:34,507 (Brennan yelps) 415 00:15:34,507 --> 00:15:37,537 - Let's say this one goes to Brennan once more, 416 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,669 for tran-cum-stantiation. - Would've given it to you. 417 00:15:39,669 --> 00:15:41,617 I would've given it to Lou. - Last one. 418 00:15:41,617 --> 00:15:43,927 Jane Goodall's field notes. 419 00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:45,997 - Wait, this prompt is asking us, 420 00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:47,757 in Jane Goodall's field notes- - Yes. 421 00:15:47,757 --> 00:15:49,987 - ...how she describes masturbation? 422 00:15:49,987 --> 00:15:52,310 - Yeah, that's correct. - I love this prompt. 423 00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,993 (everyone laughs) 424 00:15:53,993 --> 00:15:55,502 I don't have one coming to me immediately, 425 00:15:55,502 --> 00:15:57,349 but I'm like, what would- (buzzer dings) 426 00:15:57,349 --> 00:15:59,290 No, shit! Shit, no! 427 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,949 - This is canon! This is on the record! 428 00:16:01,949 --> 00:16:04,177 - No! - Five, four, three, two, one! 429 00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:05,486 (Jacob mimics buzzer buzzing) 430 00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,122 - The first elimination from "Make Some Noise"! 431 00:16:08,122 --> 00:16:09,912 You can no longer play! Get in your car and go home! 432 00:16:09,912 --> 00:16:13,657 - Lou, so sorry. So sorry, man. 433 00:16:13,657 --> 00:16:15,877 - [Brennan] Wow! Wow. - [Sam] I'm so sorry, Lou. 434 00:16:15,877 --> 00:16:17,714 - Hey, thank you so much, Sam. - [Sam] Yeah, you too, man. 435 00:16:17,714 --> 00:16:19,867 - Appreciate the opportunity. - Here's the wild thing. 436 00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:23,287 Lou isn't allowed on any Dropout projects anymore. 437 00:16:23,287 --> 00:16:24,852 - Until he fights his way back 438 00:16:24,852 --> 00:16:25,980 to the tournament at the end of the year? 439 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,517 - I heard that. - Sick! 440 00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:28,657 - I heard that. - I heard that. 441 00:16:28,657 --> 00:16:29,866 - The bit's over? - Yeah. 442 00:16:29,866 --> 00:16:31,027 (buzzer dings) - Brennan. 443 00:16:31,027 --> 00:16:32,377 - Bonobo special. 444 00:16:32,377 --> 00:16:33,307 Bonobos are actually 445 00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:36,495 our most closely related primate species- 446 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,887 - Brennan, it's not the extra credit show! 447 00:16:38,887 --> 00:16:41,647 I got places to be! Lou. (buzzer dings) 448 00:16:41,647 --> 00:16:44,355 - Monkey business. - Woo! 449 00:16:44,355 --> 00:16:46,963 (Sam chuckles) 450 00:16:46,963 --> 00:16:48,072 Shit. 451 00:16:48,072 --> 00:16:51,247 - Jane, you dog! - That's what I call it. 452 00:16:52,338 --> 00:16:53,171 (buzzer dings) 453 00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:54,672 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-dwee-doo-doo ♪ 454 00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:55,505 - Jake. 455 00:16:55,505 --> 00:16:58,225 - We observe the young teen monkeys peeling their bananas. 456 00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:01,027 (everyone laughing) 457 00:17:01,027 --> 00:17:02,419 - I like the additional worldbuilding there. 458 00:17:02,419 --> 00:17:03,487 (buzzer dings) Brennan. 459 00:17:03,487 --> 00:17:05,687 - The discovery of tool use. 460 00:17:05,687 --> 00:17:06,991 - Oh! 461 00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:11,077 - Brennan! That one goes to you once again. 462 00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:14,167 And that is a minigame. - Dr. Goodall. 463 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,237 - [Sam] Damn! - Hey, this is for you, Jane. 464 00:17:16,237 --> 00:17:18,288 - Thinking about you, girl. - Yeah, girl. 465 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,521 (Sam and crew laughing) 466 00:17:19,521 --> 00:17:21,967 (cheerful music) 467 00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:24,397 - That brings us to round two, where our players 468 00:17:24,397 --> 00:17:28,355 will now test their talents in teams of twos. 469 00:17:28,355 --> 00:17:29,707 (Brennan chortles) 470 00:17:29,707 --> 00:17:30,817 Brennan. - Yes. 471 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:31,957 - Jacob. - Ah! 472 00:17:31,957 --> 00:17:36,648 - Two guys from Brooklyn's fight turned meet-cute. 473 00:17:36,648 --> 00:17:39,697 (Brooklyn accents) - Hey, hey, hey, hey! Man, the guy said you're gone! 474 00:17:39,697 --> 00:17:41,377 That's it! You and your friends- 475 00:17:41,377 --> 00:17:42,847 - I fucking basically live there! 476 00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:43,680 - Oh, yeah- 477 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,217 - I fucking live in there, basically! 478 00:17:45,217 --> 00:17:46,897 - Then why does Nicole not know who you fucking are? 479 00:17:46,897 --> 00:17:49,447 - She's brand fucking new! - Hey, come on, man! 480 00:17:49,447 --> 00:17:50,557 - And she lives in Staten Island! 481 00:17:50,557 --> 00:17:51,607 - You think 'cause you're fucking handsome, 482 00:17:51,607 --> 00:17:53,437 you can do whatever you want? - Yeah, I can! 483 00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:55,837 I got a leather jacket, there's studs on it, 484 00:17:55,837 --> 00:17:57,457 and my boots are made of snakes! 485 00:17:57,457 --> 00:17:59,947 - Mister big dick with the big, beautiful dick. 486 00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:01,867 - Yes, it's huge! Could you handle it? 487 00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:04,647 - There's only one way to find out, motherfucker! 488 00:18:04,647 --> 00:18:06,455 (Sam and crew laughing) 489 00:18:06,455 --> 00:18:07,977 - I like the way you fucking smell. 490 00:18:07,977 --> 00:18:09,697 (Sam and crew laughing) 491 00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,947 You smell like that shit whales make. 492 00:18:11,947 --> 00:18:13,690 - Ambergris, baby boy. 493 00:18:15,067 --> 00:18:16,267 - Did you go to college? 494 00:18:17,354 --> 00:18:18,604 - A little bit. 495 00:18:20,257 --> 00:18:23,197 You have a fire in your heart, and it burns bright, 496 00:18:23,197 --> 00:18:25,687 and it motivates great passions, 497 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:28,357 and life is nothing without its great passions. 498 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,307 - You know, this is really awesome, but the tough thing is, 499 00:18:32,728 --> 00:18:35,243 I'm actually moving to Los Angeles tomorrow. 500 00:18:35,243 --> 00:18:36,293 (crew laughs) 501 00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:39,918 - I don't know if I even believe in love. 502 00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,137 (Sam laughing) 503 00:18:41,137 --> 00:18:42,629 - I've never felt this way in my entire life. 504 00:18:42,629 --> 00:18:43,477 - Never felt this way my entire life. 505 00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:45,006 - I feel like I've only felt like 506 00:18:45,006 --> 00:18:46,177 (indistinct) in a microwave. 507 00:18:46,177 --> 00:18:48,277 - And if all we have is tonight, 508 00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:50,107 I got a bag of coke in my jacket. 509 00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:51,865 - And I got poppers in mine. 510 00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:53,573 (buzzer buzzing) (Sam laughing) 511 00:18:53,573 --> 00:18:54,914 (crew cheering) 512 00:18:56,017 --> 00:18:58,754 - Never seen a cleaner Brennan set up than, 513 00:18:58,754 --> 00:19:00,685 "That stuff that whales make." 514 00:19:00,685 --> 00:19:02,468 (Brennan laughs) 515 00:19:02,468 --> 00:19:03,301 He's gonna know. 516 00:19:03,301 --> 00:19:04,327 - Two points, a point hitting you 517 00:19:04,327 --> 00:19:06,130 and you hitting the ground. 518 00:19:07,057 --> 00:19:08,047 Jacob. - Hi. 519 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:08,977 - And Lou. 520 00:19:08,977 --> 00:19:12,794 - Now Sam, don't you come 'round here with no prompt. 521 00:19:12,794 --> 00:19:14,524 - Don't you come 'round here with no prompt? 522 00:19:14,524 --> 00:19:18,787 - Now Sam, don't you not come 'round here with no prompt. 523 00:19:18,787 --> 00:19:19,620 - It's working. 524 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,667 - I'll be honest, I doubted it. It's working. 525 00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:24,165 - Uber, but on horseback. 526 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,756 (Sam and crew laughing) 527 00:19:28,756 --> 00:19:30,614 - Are you Kevin? - Brian? 528 00:19:30,614 --> 00:19:33,256 - Okay, yeah, it says bronco. 529 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,387 (Sam laughing) 530 00:19:34,387 --> 00:19:35,887 Do you mind if I put my hand on your shoulder? 531 00:19:35,887 --> 00:19:37,328 - Absolutely not. That's the only way up. 532 00:19:37,328 --> 00:19:39,719 - Thank you. (Sam and crew laughing) 533 00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:42,457 - You're not allergic to shit, are you? 534 00:19:42,457 --> 00:19:43,477 - Allergic to shit? 535 00:19:43,477 --> 00:19:45,547 - Yeah, are you allergic to shit or hay? 536 00:19:45,547 --> 00:19:47,411 - No, I don't have any shit or hay allergies. 537 00:19:47,411 --> 00:19:48,652 - Then hold on tight, baby. 538 00:19:50,497 --> 00:19:53,110 - Is this new? - No, its very, very old. 539 00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:54,351 (Sam and crew laughing) 540 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,710 Four-way stop. I hate these. - Oh yeah. 541 00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:03,427 - Go ahead. Go ahead. 542 00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:05,020 So what are you doing tonight? 543 00:20:06,127 --> 00:20:07,897 - I'm going on a first date with a girl. 544 00:20:07,897 --> 00:20:10,177 We met on Hinge. Do you know Hinge? 545 00:20:10,177 --> 00:20:13,227 - I think so. It's what goes in a door. 546 00:20:13,227 --> 00:20:14,557 (Brennan and Sam chuckling) 547 00:20:14,557 --> 00:20:15,427 - It's a dating app, but yeah, 548 00:20:15,427 --> 00:20:17,227 she's in tech and I'm in tech- - Well, if it goes wrong, 549 00:20:17,227 --> 00:20:20,827 I could hang outside and you could signal me with smoke. 550 00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:23,467 I could rush in and, you know, 551 00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:25,657 kind of save the date if it's going bad. 552 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:29,077 - Is that extra, or is that- - Hold on. 553 00:20:29,077 --> 00:20:30,485 - Oh shit. - Sorry, I gotta 554 00:20:30,485 --> 00:20:33,002 put some gas in the engine. - I'm dizzy! 555 00:20:34,038 --> 00:20:36,577 (Sam and crew laughing) 556 00:20:36,577 --> 00:20:38,137 - I'm not gonna get charged for this, am I? 557 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,157 - Well, it depends what the app says. 558 00:20:39,157 --> 00:20:41,377 I make no fucking money on this! 559 00:20:41,377 --> 00:20:43,284 By the time I pay for carrots, 560 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,667 (Sam laughing) 561 00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,485 and the time I get my leather conditioned, 562 00:20:46,485 --> 00:20:48,107 I'm actually losing money doing this. 563 00:20:48,107 --> 00:20:50,851 - Yeah. Totally, dude. - So a tip would be awesome! 564 00:20:50,851 --> 00:20:51,984 (Sam laughing) 565 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,159 - Hey, I'm just gonna kind of put on headphones, 566 00:20:53,159 --> 00:20:55,447 if that's okay. (buzzer buzzing) 567 00:20:55,447 --> 00:20:59,050 - I will cut you off there. Holy shit. 568 00:20:59,956 --> 00:21:01,840 (Sam and crew laughing) 569 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,842 - [Sam] But I'm really a musician! 570 00:21:03,842 --> 00:21:05,433 (Jacob laughing) 571 00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:07,897 Two points in a one horse town for the both of you. 572 00:21:07,897 --> 00:21:10,057 Lou. - Now, Sam. 573 00:21:10,057 --> 00:21:13,878 Don't you come around here not having no prompt. 574 00:21:13,878 --> 00:21:15,157 - And Brennan. 575 00:21:15,157 --> 00:21:18,307 - It's not never the wrong time to have had not... 576 00:21:18,307 --> 00:21:19,657 You didn't have a prompt for- 577 00:21:19,657 --> 00:21:23,377 - [Sam] An audiobook concludes, and the other guy, 578 00:21:23,377 --> 00:21:27,967 who's there to say, "This has been," really goes for it. 579 00:21:27,967 --> 00:21:31,417 - And so we are borne back, boats against the current, 580 00:21:31,417 --> 00:21:34,660 ceaselessly into the past, 581 00:21:36,637 --> 00:21:38,647 left only to navigate 582 00:21:38,647 --> 00:21:40,722 this last (Sam and crew laughing) 583 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,897 dream of dreams. 584 00:21:43,897 --> 00:21:48,340 Regarding the house that our actions have built, 585 00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:50,827 (Sam and crew continue laughing) 586 00:21:50,827 --> 00:21:53,647 Nicholas turned to look one last time 587 00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:56,467 at the billboard over the freeway, 588 00:21:56,467 --> 00:21:59,887 the eyes of Dr. Eckleberg looking down. 589 00:21:59,887 --> 00:22:04,327 He gazed at the manor and the green light across the bay 590 00:22:04,327 --> 00:22:05,954 and said, 591 00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:06,970 "This time, 592 00:22:08,017 --> 00:22:08,920 this time, 593 00:22:10,117 --> 00:22:15,117 I choose a different path." (Lou panting hungrily) 594 00:22:15,923 --> 00:22:16,756 The end. 595 00:22:18,431 --> 00:22:21,356 - This has been 596 00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:25,357 an audiobook presentation 597 00:22:25,357 --> 00:22:27,882 by Penguin Books, motherfucker! 598 00:22:27,882 --> 00:22:29,977 (everyone laughing) 599 00:22:29,977 --> 00:22:33,993 I'm @LionelCulvert. You can find me on Instagram. 600 00:22:33,993 --> 00:22:35,431 (Sam laughing) 601 00:22:35,431 --> 00:22:37,597 It has been a pleasure. Shout out to my man, he was great. 602 00:22:37,597 --> 00:22:39,238 You were great. (Sam laughs) 603 00:22:39,238 --> 00:22:40,658 Dude, 604 00:22:40,658 --> 00:22:42,757 (buzzer buzzing) We need to hang out! 605 00:22:42,757 --> 00:22:46,627 - I love that. Oh shit, those warmup moves. 606 00:22:46,627 --> 00:22:48,037 - Let me at 'em, dog. 607 00:22:48,037 --> 00:22:50,737 - Five audio points, which are just points, 608 00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:51,967 but they're easier to read. 609 00:22:51,967 --> 00:22:53,527 - Sam, you don't get enough credit for those. 610 00:22:53,527 --> 00:22:54,360 They're great, man. 611 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:55,718 - He's just trying to get back on the show. 612 00:22:55,718 --> 00:22:56,551 - I know. 613 00:22:56,551 --> 00:22:58,504 - Come on, Sam, let me massage you! 614 00:22:58,504 --> 00:22:59,677 - Please! 615 00:22:59,677 --> 00:23:00,510 - Brennan. 616 00:23:00,510 --> 00:23:02,557 - Yes. - And Jacob. 617 00:23:02,557 --> 00:23:03,817 You just don't say anything. 618 00:23:03,817 --> 00:23:04,837 - Sometimes less is more. 619 00:23:04,837 --> 00:23:06,067 - I think it's a power move. I like it. 620 00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:07,807 - Wow. - Oh shit. 621 00:23:07,807 --> 00:23:12,667 - The best and worst person to sit next to on an airplane. 622 00:23:12,667 --> 00:23:15,217 - I think I'm at the window. - Oh yeah, of course. 623 00:23:20,676 --> 00:23:23,509 (Brennan shrieks) 624 00:23:24,406 --> 00:23:27,406 I'm gonna go to the bathroom, sorry. 625 00:23:28,369 --> 00:23:29,902 (Sam and crew laughs) 626 00:23:30,927 --> 00:23:32,887 - Hey, hey. I've got some wet wipes, here. 627 00:23:32,887 --> 00:23:35,071 - Oh, thank you so much. - Yeah. Keep them. 628 00:23:35,071 --> 00:23:36,610 - Hey, I got some wet wipes. 629 00:23:38,136 --> 00:23:39,877 (Sam and crew laughing) 630 00:23:40,715 --> 00:23:42,565 I'm bad! (laughter continues) 631 00:23:44,107 --> 00:23:45,657 - I'm gonna pray for the plane. 632 00:23:47,347 --> 00:23:49,327 Dear god, just get everybody where they're going safe, 633 00:23:49,327 --> 00:23:50,617 and if anything bad happens, 634 00:23:50,617 --> 00:23:53,107 let me and everyone else survive. 635 00:23:53,107 --> 00:23:56,527 - I'm gonna pack these paper straws full of cayenne powder 636 00:23:56,527 --> 00:23:59,613 and go (exhales sharply) spray it in babies' faces. 637 00:23:59,613 --> 00:24:01,357 (Sam and crew laughing) 638 00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:04,417 - Hey, would anyone like a pre-flight drink? Soda, water? 639 00:24:04,417 --> 00:24:06,640 - I have my own bottle of rubbing alcohol. 640 00:24:08,227 --> 00:24:09,060 - Okay, and- 641 00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:10,177 - I heard it was your birthday. 642 00:24:10,177 --> 00:24:11,010 - It is. 643 00:24:11,010 --> 00:24:12,367 - Here, I carry chocolates around 644 00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:14,257 just in case it's somebody's birthday. 645 00:24:14,257 --> 00:24:16,417 It's from Sweden. It's a family thing. 646 00:24:16,417 --> 00:24:18,607 - Oh my god, thank you so much. I appreciate that. 647 00:24:18,607 --> 00:24:20,517 - Do you guys like Gavin DeGraw? 648 00:24:20,517 --> 00:24:22,174 (Sam laughing) 649 00:24:22,174 --> 00:24:23,533 ♪ I don't want to be ♪ 650 00:24:23,533 --> 00:24:26,737 ♪ Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately ♪ 651 00:24:26,737 --> 00:24:29,527 - Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to put on headphones. 652 00:24:29,527 --> 00:24:30,547 - I have an extra pair. 653 00:24:30,547 --> 00:24:31,547 - What if I do this? 654 00:24:33,067 --> 00:24:34,593 Somewhere up there in those seats. 655 00:24:34,593 --> 00:24:36,427 - And I will cut this off. (buzzer buzzing) 656 00:24:36,427 --> 00:24:39,757 That sounds like a good last beat to me. 657 00:24:39,757 --> 00:24:41,287 Let's say points that stand up 658 00:24:41,287 --> 00:24:43,987 when the airplane comes to a stop for the both of you. 659 00:24:43,987 --> 00:24:46,027 Jacob and Lou. 660 00:24:46,027 --> 00:24:49,068 - Now Sam, don't you come around here with not having no... 661 00:24:49,068 --> 00:24:49,927 (crew laughing) 662 00:24:49,927 --> 00:24:52,837 - [Sam] What parents imagine happens to a bully 663 00:24:52,837 --> 00:24:55,627 when you say the 'sticks and stones' thing. 664 00:24:55,627 --> 00:25:00,037 - Hey, where's my lunch money, huh? 665 00:25:00,037 --> 00:25:02,587 You little squid! 666 00:25:02,587 --> 00:25:05,317 Go back to the ocean, you little squid! 667 00:25:05,317 --> 00:25:08,500 - Hey, I'm gonna give you one opportunity to apologize. 668 00:25:09,727 --> 00:25:11,137 - You're not gonna give me anything 669 00:25:11,137 --> 00:25:13,567 but your lunch money, squid! 670 00:25:13,567 --> 00:25:15,787 Or I'm gonna put you down the toilet, 671 00:25:15,787 --> 00:25:17,467 so you could get a little bit of that water 672 00:25:17,467 --> 00:25:18,847 that you love so much! 673 00:25:18,847 --> 00:25:20,797 - Stick and stones may break my bones, 674 00:25:20,797 --> 00:25:22,637 and I will break yours! 675 00:25:23,637 --> 00:25:28,637 (Jacob screaming powerfully) (Lou screaming in pain) 676 00:25:29,039 --> 00:25:31,656 (Lou screeching like a man being torn asunder) 677 00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:34,464 (Jacob screaming) 678 00:25:34,464 --> 00:25:35,803 (Lou whimpering) 679 00:25:35,803 --> 00:25:39,217 (Jacob shouting indistinctly) 680 00:25:39,217 --> 00:25:41,437 When are we gonna learn about dinosaurs? 681 00:25:41,437 --> 00:25:42,728 (crew laughing) 682 00:25:42,728 --> 00:25:43,927 (buzzer buzzing) 683 00:25:43,927 --> 00:25:48,927 - Jesus Christ! Full telekinesis, oh my god! 684 00:25:49,207 --> 00:25:51,247 - I blacked out. (Brennan laughs) 685 00:25:51,247 --> 00:25:52,867 - Points equal to the amount of times 686 00:25:52,867 --> 00:25:55,477 words have hurt me to the both of you. 687 00:25:55,477 --> 00:25:58,807 Last prompt of round two, Lou. 688 00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,967 - Now Sam, don't you come around here not having no prompt. 689 00:26:00,967 --> 00:26:03,907 - And Brennan. - Come as you are. 690 00:26:03,907 --> 00:26:05,827 - All of Grandpa's stories 691 00:26:05,827 --> 00:26:09,037 somehow involve a guy named Chorizo Joe. 692 00:26:09,037 --> 00:26:11,287 - What's up, Gramps? - Hi there, kiddo. 693 00:26:11,287 --> 00:26:13,177 I know it's a sad day. - Yeah. 694 00:26:13,177 --> 00:26:18,177 - But, you know, your father was such a good man. 695 00:26:19,057 --> 00:26:20,437 My son. 696 00:26:20,437 --> 00:26:22,357 - Mm-hm. (Sam laughs) 697 00:26:22,357 --> 00:26:23,467 - You've done such a good job, 698 00:26:23,467 --> 00:26:25,837 and I know that you're taking care of everybody else here, 699 00:26:25,837 --> 00:26:26,887 and taking care of your sisters. 700 00:26:26,887 --> 00:26:28,200 - I'm doing what I can, yeah. 701 00:26:29,843 --> 00:26:31,777 - You know, it's funny. 702 00:26:31,777 --> 00:26:34,147 Your dad once told me way back, 703 00:26:34,147 --> 00:26:36,217 he was about 12 or 13 years old, 704 00:26:36,217 --> 00:26:37,814 and he came to me and he said, 705 00:26:37,814 --> 00:26:41,017 "Pappy, if I catch you stealing horses 706 00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:45,397 with Chorizo Joe one more time, I'm gonna call the sheriff, 707 00:26:45,397 --> 00:26:47,854 and we're gonna kick him out of the shed!" 708 00:26:48,967 --> 00:26:49,800 (Lou chuckles) - That's funny. 709 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,930 - Chorizo Joe was living in the shed at the time. 710 00:26:51,930 --> 00:26:53,767 (Sam and crew laugh) 711 00:26:53,767 --> 00:26:56,167 Your dad, that was who he was, you know? 712 00:26:56,167 --> 00:26:58,747 He stood up for what he believed in. 713 00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:01,221 - 100%. - Not like Chorizo Joe. 714 00:27:01,221 --> 00:27:02,587 (Sam and crew laughing) 715 00:27:02,587 --> 00:27:05,887 - What was Dad like as a kid? You know, it's funny 716 00:27:05,887 --> 00:27:09,094 he never told me those stories, kind of, growing up. 717 00:27:09,094 --> 00:27:11,587 - Did he never tell you how he actually got that scar? 718 00:27:11,587 --> 00:27:12,697 - No! 719 00:27:12,697 --> 00:27:15,517 - Chorizo Joe kicked him as hard as he could, 720 00:27:15,517 --> 00:27:16,350 (Sam and crew laughing) right in the head. 721 00:27:16,350 --> 00:27:18,498 - Grandpa, who is Chorizo Joe? 722 00:27:18,498 --> 00:27:19,870 (Jacob blows a raspberry) 723 00:27:19,870 --> 00:27:21,445 - Goddamn! 724 00:27:21,445 --> 00:27:22,449 (Sam laughing) 725 00:27:22,449 --> 00:27:23,811 Goddamn! 726 00:27:23,811 --> 00:27:27,426 (gruffly) - Is it too late to pay my respects? 727 00:27:27,426 --> 00:27:31,120 - Oh, Chorizo. You slimy son of a bitch. 728 00:27:32,857 --> 00:27:36,097 Chorizo, this is Paul's son, David. 729 00:27:36,097 --> 00:27:37,327 - Hey, it's nice to meet you. 730 00:27:37,327 --> 00:27:41,047 - Your dad was one of 'em. - Your dad was one of 'em! 731 00:27:41,047 --> 00:27:43,380 - What is this on my hand? - Chorizo! 732 00:27:43,380 --> 00:27:44,213 (buzzer buzzing) 733 00:27:44,213 --> 00:27:46,327 - I think I'll cut this off there. 734 00:27:46,327 --> 00:27:49,968 80 points handmade by Chorizo Joe himself. 735 00:27:49,968 --> 00:27:51,907 (cheerful music) 736 00:27:51,907 --> 00:27:55,567 That brings us to our third and final minigame. 737 00:27:55,567 --> 00:27:58,657 This is a minigame we like to call "Vent It Out". 738 00:27:58,657 --> 00:28:02,257 How it works is, players, I am going to give each of you 739 00:28:02,257 --> 00:28:05,827 something to rant and rave about. 740 00:28:05,827 --> 00:28:06,847 - Ooh, Sam! (Jacob clears his throat) 741 00:28:06,847 --> 00:28:09,217 - I'm going to call on each of you by name. 742 00:28:09,217 --> 00:28:13,087 You are only allowed to rant and rave when it is your turn. 743 00:28:13,087 --> 00:28:15,847 Your rant and rave must pick up 744 00:28:15,847 --> 00:28:19,837 exactly where your fellow player's rant and rave left off. 745 00:28:19,837 --> 00:28:20,917 Brennan. - Yes. 746 00:28:20,917 --> 00:28:23,827 - Drug store items behind plastic guards. 747 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,717 - Essentially, we have decided 748 00:28:25,717 --> 00:28:28,117 that we cannot trust our fellow citizens. 749 00:28:28,117 --> 00:28:30,787 When you take something as simple as, I don't know, 750 00:28:30,787 --> 00:28:33,307 a shampoo, and you put it behind a plastic guard, 751 00:28:33,307 --> 00:28:35,291 what you are communicating to your customers- 752 00:28:35,291 --> 00:28:36,124 - Stop, and Lou. 753 00:28:36,124 --> 00:28:39,307 - ...is that I think you are the other, 754 00:28:39,307 --> 00:28:44,307 come here to my drug store to invade like the Mongolians- 755 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:45,877 (Lou stammering) 756 00:28:45,877 --> 00:28:47,557 - Stop! Jacob! 757 00:28:47,557 --> 00:28:50,587 - Killing thousands and thousands of people. 758 00:28:50,587 --> 00:28:52,387 But in fact, that's not the same crime. 759 00:28:52,387 --> 00:28:53,257 - Stop. Brennan. 760 00:28:53,257 --> 00:28:55,207 - We spend more in this country- 761 00:28:55,207 --> 00:28:56,040 - Stop. Jacob. 762 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,375 - ...on sex and missiles 763 00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:00,157 (everyone laughing) 764 00:29:00,157 --> 00:29:03,487 than we do protecting our people! 765 00:29:03,487 --> 00:29:05,257 - And next topic! 766 00:29:05,257 --> 00:29:08,887 Let's begin with Lou, that pets die. 767 00:29:08,887 --> 00:29:12,607 - We gotta figure this out, guys. We gotta figure this out. 768 00:29:12,607 --> 00:29:14,887 My heart is gigantic, 769 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,167 and I am eager to give it to so many things, 770 00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:21,247 yet as long as we continue to allow pets to die, I- 771 00:29:21,247 --> 00:29:22,657 - Stop, and Jacob. 772 00:29:22,657 --> 00:29:25,987 - I won't rest. We need to get to the bottom of it. 773 00:29:25,987 --> 00:29:28,417 I don't want humans to live longer. 774 00:29:28,417 --> 00:29:31,147 Let's stop oncological studies. Let's stop it. 775 00:29:31,147 --> 00:29:34,067 Let's get pets living longer, because the heart- 776 00:29:34,067 --> 00:29:35,007 - Stop, and Brennan. 777 00:29:35,007 --> 00:29:37,327 - ...of a pet is the heart of a family, 778 00:29:37,327 --> 00:29:40,837 and our understanding of purpose and meaning in life 779 00:29:40,837 --> 00:29:43,327 is not rooted in a selfish, hedonistic, 780 00:29:43,327 --> 00:29:44,317 first person perspective. 781 00:29:44,317 --> 00:29:46,027 It's rooted in meaning. 782 00:29:46,027 --> 00:29:46,987 Where does meaning come from? 783 00:29:46,987 --> 00:29:49,717 Our connection to the living things around us. 784 00:29:49,717 --> 00:29:50,847 By having a cat- - Stop. Lou. 785 00:29:50,847 --> 00:29:54,337 - ...or a dog, I am investing all of my life's 786 00:29:54,337 --> 00:29:56,797 worth and meaning into that vessel, all right? 787 00:29:56,797 --> 00:29:59,737 And you're telling me that it just breaks after 10 years? 788 00:29:59,737 --> 00:30:04,737 Build a better box! Okay? - And we will move on. 789 00:30:05,017 --> 00:30:09,427 Jacob, let's start with you. The lack of third spaces. 790 00:30:09,427 --> 00:30:14,427 - Why has our life been taken down to so little things? 791 00:30:15,097 --> 00:30:20,097 Work and home. Can't there be somewhere else, baby? 792 00:30:20,109 --> 00:30:21,667 (Sam and Brennan laughing) 793 00:30:21,667 --> 00:30:25,057 A bar, a park- - [Sam] Stop. Brennan. 794 00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:27,817 - A park with a bar in it. (Sam laughing) 795 00:30:27,817 --> 00:30:31,507 A bowling alley with a bar that you find in a park, folks- 796 00:30:31,507 --> 00:30:32,340 - Stop. Lou. 797 00:30:32,340 --> 00:30:37,340 - We need more bar parks or bowl bars, all right? 798 00:30:37,957 --> 00:30:39,997 Where you get to be yourself! 799 00:30:39,997 --> 00:30:41,707 Where you get to express and allow- 800 00:30:41,707 --> 00:30:42,717 - Stop. Jacob. 801 00:30:42,717 --> 00:30:47,717 - ...copious amounts of booze in your mouth! 802 00:30:47,737 --> 00:30:49,492 You can drink in the sky. 803 00:30:50,437 --> 00:30:53,167 Why can't we drink everywhere we go? 804 00:30:53,167 --> 00:30:56,757 Get rid of brown bags. Let the third space be a Miller- 805 00:30:56,757 --> 00:30:57,590 - Stop. Brennan. 806 00:30:57,590 --> 00:30:59,870 - ...High Life. - Thank you! 807 00:30:59,870 --> 00:31:01,997 - I'm right there with you, baby. I'm right there with you. 808 00:31:01,997 --> 00:31:06,367 - Let's move on. Let's start with Lou once more. 809 00:31:06,367 --> 00:31:08,797 That men don't get flowers. 810 00:31:08,797 --> 00:31:12,097 - Y'all know I'm upset. (everyone laughs) 811 00:31:12,097 --> 00:31:13,210 Y'all know I'm mad. 812 00:31:15,517 --> 00:31:17,797 I'm tired of watches. 813 00:31:17,797 --> 00:31:20,107 I'm tired of tie clips. 814 00:31:20,107 --> 00:31:23,647 - Stop. Brennan. - I'm 36 years old. 815 00:31:23,647 --> 00:31:28,647 I promise you, I got the things I need for myself. 816 00:31:29,077 --> 00:31:34,077 What I don't have are perishable, consumable things that, 817 00:31:34,087 --> 00:31:38,077 in their ephemeralness, give beauty to my life. 818 00:31:38,077 --> 00:31:40,597 Would it kill you to get me a fucking bouquet? 819 00:31:40,597 --> 00:31:42,387 I just want to feel- - Stop. Jacob. 820 00:31:42,387 --> 00:31:43,937 - ...something. 821 00:31:43,937 --> 00:31:45,577 (Sam, Brennan, and crew laughs) 822 00:31:45,577 --> 00:31:47,074 Anything. 823 00:31:47,074 --> 00:31:50,650 And I don't want it to be when I'm gone in a casket. 824 00:31:51,547 --> 00:31:56,547 I want to know it now, and I'm not playing games. 825 00:31:56,677 --> 00:31:58,377 I've been to the- - Stop. Lou. 826 00:31:58,377 --> 00:31:59,957 - ...the mountaintop. 827 00:31:59,957 --> 00:32:01,357 (Jacob laughing) 828 00:32:01,357 --> 00:32:03,187 I've been there, I've seen what they have, 829 00:32:03,187 --> 00:32:05,107 and what I want is something small. 830 00:32:05,107 --> 00:32:07,510 - Stop. Brennan. - As small as a daisy. 831 00:32:08,827 --> 00:32:10,597 As small as a peony. 832 00:32:10,597 --> 00:32:12,967 As small as- - Stop. Jacob. 833 00:32:12,967 --> 00:32:15,393 - My mental health! 834 00:32:15,393 --> 00:32:19,327 - And I will cut this off there. Last one, Brennan. 835 00:32:19,327 --> 00:32:23,557 That Daniel Day-Lewis is so choosy about his roles. 836 00:32:23,557 --> 00:32:25,867 - I guess it would've been awesome for Michelangelo 837 00:32:25,867 --> 00:32:29,047 to be like, "Oh, I can't do the Sistine Chapel, 838 00:32:29,047 --> 00:32:31,721 I have to be in the west of Ireland fucking jerking off." 839 00:32:31,721 --> 00:32:32,554 (Sam laughs) 840 00:32:32,554 --> 00:32:35,429 Make more movies, dog! Fucking do it! 841 00:32:35,429 --> 00:32:37,567 You're so talented! 842 00:32:37,567 --> 00:32:40,477 I think about Bill the Butcher every day, 843 00:32:40,477 --> 00:32:42,187 and you're out here being like, "Well, as an actor- 844 00:32:42,187 --> 00:32:43,107 - Stop. Lou. 845 00:32:43,107 --> 00:32:46,477 - ...I have to be particular! There are only so many roles!" 846 00:32:46,477 --> 00:32:47,737 Fuck that! 847 00:32:47,737 --> 00:32:50,707 I want you to be in "The Guardians of the Galaxy!" 848 00:32:50,707 --> 00:32:51,745 I want you to be Rocket Raccoon! 849 00:32:51,745 --> 00:32:55,147 - Stop. Jacob. - Ryan Reynolds, gone! 850 00:32:55,147 --> 00:32:57,607 John Cena, gone! 851 00:32:57,607 --> 00:33:00,217 The guy who voiced Mario whose name I won't say 852 00:33:00,217 --> 00:33:03,757 'cause he's that bad, gone! - Stop. Brennan. 853 00:33:03,757 --> 00:33:06,337 - I know you were great in "Phantom Thread". 854 00:33:06,337 --> 00:33:07,867 I can't watch it 855 00:33:07,867 --> 00:33:10,897 because it doesn't have fucking swords in it! 856 00:33:10,897 --> 00:33:12,547 If you had been Aragorn, 857 00:33:12,547 --> 00:33:14,707 if you had been fucking Obi-Wan Kenobi- 858 00:33:14,707 --> 00:33:18,277 - Stop. Jacob. - I would watch! 859 00:33:18,277 --> 00:33:19,117 I'd tune in! 860 00:33:19,117 --> 00:33:23,197 But instead, I'm not getting Disney Plus, okay? 861 00:33:23,197 --> 00:33:24,030 I'm out! 862 00:33:24,030 --> 00:33:26,137 Do I have a Dropout subscription? No. 863 00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:27,727 If Daniel Day-Lewis was here, 864 00:33:27,727 --> 00:33:30,252 I'd be paying six hot ones a month! 865 00:33:30,252 --> 00:33:31,085 - And (buzzer buzzing) 866 00:33:31,085 --> 00:33:34,237 I will cut this off there. That's a minigame. 867 00:33:34,237 --> 00:33:35,257 - I think we might get Daniel Day-Lewis 868 00:33:35,257 --> 00:33:38,974 for the next "Um, Actually". (cheerful music) 869 00:33:40,147 --> 00:33:42,397 - That brings us to round three, where our players 870 00:33:42,397 --> 00:33:47,126 will now hold hands and jump into the abyss together. 871 00:33:47,126 --> 00:33:49,846 - Yeah! - Whee! 872 00:33:49,846 --> 00:33:50,822 Brennan. - (indistinct)! 873 00:33:50,822 --> 00:33:51,784 - Jacob. Lou. 874 00:33:51,784 --> 00:33:52,897 - Now don't you come 'round here 875 00:33:52,897 --> 00:33:54,127 with not no havin' no prompt. 876 00:33:54,127 --> 00:33:56,977 - A divorced dad tries to get the kids 877 00:33:56,977 --> 00:34:00,470 excited about his new houseboat. 878 00:34:00,470 --> 00:34:02,201 (Jacob chuckling) - Who wants it? 879 00:34:02,201 --> 00:34:03,372 (Brennan and Jacob laughing) 880 00:34:03,372 --> 00:34:04,205 - Any of us! 881 00:34:04,205 --> 00:34:06,063 - Any one of us. Everyone knows. 882 00:34:06,063 --> 00:34:08,410 (everyone laughing) 883 00:34:08,410 --> 00:34:10,567 It's like, here's a slice of cake. 884 00:34:10,567 --> 00:34:11,827 Who wants the first bite? 885 00:34:11,827 --> 00:34:13,807 - Maybe you should rock, paper, scissors for it. 886 00:34:13,807 --> 00:34:15,097 - Winner gets the divorced dad? 887 00:34:15,097 --> 00:34:16,657 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Winner gets it. 888 00:34:16,657 --> 00:34:18,654 - [All] Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! 889 00:34:18,654 --> 00:34:21,264 - Oh, so we both- - [Sam] Okay, so Jake's out. 890 00:34:21,264 --> 00:34:22,897 - [Brennan] Jake's out. - Fuck! 891 00:34:22,897 --> 00:34:24,637 - [Both] Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! 892 00:34:24,637 --> 00:34:25,727 - Bam. - Divorced dad! 893 00:34:25,727 --> 00:34:28,147 - Brennan's Dad. Here we go, that's how it works. 894 00:34:28,147 --> 00:34:29,587 That's how we do it here on "Make Some Noise". 895 00:34:29,587 --> 00:34:31,327 - All right, when can we take off the blindfolds, Dad? 896 00:34:31,327 --> 00:34:33,082 - Come on! Come on! 897 00:34:33,082 --> 00:34:35,107 - When can we take them off? - Hey, all right, all right. 898 00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:39,160 Who's ready for summer vacation? 899 00:34:41,797 --> 00:34:43,657 Now, I don't have any life jackets, 900 00:34:43,657 --> 00:34:45,247 so you're gonna hold my hand. 901 00:34:45,247 --> 00:34:48,577 - Why does it smell like salt and dead fish? 902 00:34:48,577 --> 00:34:50,347 - Are we doing fishing? That's fun! 903 00:34:50,347 --> 00:34:52,897 - Oh, you don't want the fish in this harbor. No, no. 904 00:34:52,897 --> 00:34:54,637 Kiddos, kiddos, kiddos! 905 00:34:54,637 --> 00:34:58,777 The Anna Marie, she's a worthy vessel, all right? 906 00:34:58,777 --> 00:35:01,357 She used to be a fishing dinghy. 907 00:35:01,357 --> 00:35:03,010 You guys know what a dinghy is? 908 00:35:03,010 --> 00:35:04,700 (Jacob burps) (Sam and crew laughing) 909 00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:06,097 - I think David needs to throw up. 910 00:35:06,097 --> 00:35:08,557 - Don't throw up. The pelicans are gonna swarm. 911 00:35:08,557 --> 00:35:10,051 Don't throw up, don't throw up. 912 00:35:10,051 --> 00:35:11,257 - What? - Come on, come on. 913 00:35:11,257 --> 00:35:12,697 Hey, hey, hey! Hey! 914 00:35:12,697 --> 00:35:13,530 I'm trying! 915 00:35:13,530 --> 00:35:15,139 (Sam and crew laughing) 916 00:35:15,139 --> 00:35:16,057 - Okay. - Okay. 917 00:35:16,057 --> 00:35:17,377 - It's summer vacation. 918 00:35:17,377 --> 00:35:19,657 - Yeah. - Yeah! 919 00:35:19,657 --> 00:35:20,947 - Don't do that. - What? 920 00:35:20,947 --> 00:35:22,957 - The bass, the bass will feel the movement, 921 00:35:22,957 --> 00:35:23,797 and they'll come up. 922 00:35:23,797 --> 00:35:26,527 There's some tarpons. I saw a kid, he had a doxen. 923 00:35:26,527 --> 00:35:30,697 That fish, bam, took it out. It cleared over the bridge. 924 00:35:30,697 --> 00:35:33,067 By the way, a lot of people throw trash off the bridge. 925 00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:36,067 Okay. Here we go. - Oh! 926 00:35:36,067 --> 00:35:38,233 - Into the boat, into the boat. 927 00:35:38,233 --> 00:35:41,823 Careful, careful. Hold hands. - Oh no! 928 00:35:41,823 --> 00:35:43,027 - That's gone, that's gone, that's gone. 929 00:35:43,027 --> 00:35:44,587 - What? 930 00:35:44,587 --> 00:35:45,847 - The shoe's gone. - Okay. 931 00:35:45,847 --> 00:35:47,947 - Go back to jail. (Sam laughs) 932 00:35:47,947 --> 00:35:51,187 - You think I haven't asked? (buzzer buzzing) 933 00:35:51,187 --> 00:35:53,137 You think I haven't asked to go back to jail? 934 00:35:53,137 --> 00:35:54,337 - Unreal. 935 00:35:54,337 --> 00:35:56,407 - Sad. - Fucking sad. 936 00:35:56,407 --> 00:35:58,837 - 60 house points to each of you, 937 00:35:58,837 --> 00:36:00,547 which brings us to Brennan. 938 00:36:00,547 --> 00:36:01,380 - Yes. - Jacob. 939 00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:02,213 - Hi. - Lou. 940 00:36:02,213 --> 00:36:05,107 ♪ Don't you come 'round here not having no prompt ♪ 941 00:36:05,107 --> 00:36:09,877 - An intimacy coordinator for two boxers about to fight. 942 00:36:09,877 --> 00:36:12,157 - All right, guys. I'm your intimacy coordinator. 943 00:36:12,157 --> 00:36:13,987 I've been doing this job for about four months. 944 00:36:13,987 --> 00:36:16,547 I got a certificate online. (Sam and crew laughing) 945 00:36:16,547 --> 00:36:17,797 - Okay. - That's all it takes. 946 00:36:17,797 --> 00:36:20,497 It's a rather new job, so there's some nuances 947 00:36:20,497 --> 00:36:22,117 that you guys might not understand, 948 00:36:22,117 --> 00:36:23,377 so let me explain what we're doing here. 949 00:36:23,377 --> 00:36:24,817 We're gonna talk about exactly where you're 950 00:36:24,817 --> 00:36:26,767 gonna get touched, how you're gonna get touched, 951 00:36:26,767 --> 00:36:28,530 and how you prefer to be touched, okay? 952 00:36:28,530 --> 00:36:31,207 Because there will be touching in this boxing match. 953 00:36:31,207 --> 00:36:33,097 You guys are going to absolutely obliterate each other, 954 00:36:33,097 --> 00:36:35,287 but we need to make sure that that's consensual. 955 00:36:35,287 --> 00:36:36,320 (Sam laughing) - [Jacob] That's my job. 956 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:37,867 I earned that right, to figure that out, 957 00:36:37,867 --> 00:36:39,277 because I went to a course online. 958 00:36:39,277 --> 00:36:40,110 - I'm a little confused, 959 00:36:40,110 --> 00:36:42,847 because broadly, I consent. - Yes. 960 00:36:42,847 --> 00:36:44,887 - But I think if we go step by step, 961 00:36:44,887 --> 00:36:47,197 it ruins the boxing match. - See, that's the thing. 962 00:36:47,197 --> 00:36:50,017 Sometimes two people go into a scene or a boxing match 963 00:36:50,017 --> 00:36:52,177 and they go, "I'm good with whatever happens." 964 00:36:52,177 --> 00:36:54,217 And then something happens that they didn't expect, 965 00:36:54,217 --> 00:36:55,237 and then they're not good with it. 966 00:36:55,237 --> 00:36:57,457 (Sam and crew laughing) So we want to eliminate that. 967 00:36:57,457 --> 00:36:59,257 - How many times have you been punched in the face? 968 00:36:59,257 --> 00:37:02,827 - I mean, countless. - Same. I feel pretty good- 969 00:37:02,827 --> 00:37:04,897 - But let me posit a question. - [Brennan] Yeah. 970 00:37:04,897 --> 00:37:06,337 - What if you got punched in a face 971 00:37:06,337 --> 00:37:10,078 that made you feel dirty, underpaid, 972 00:37:10,078 --> 00:37:13,087 (Sam laughing) under-appreciated, 973 00:37:13,087 --> 00:37:15,337 and like you're being taken advantage of? 974 00:37:15,337 --> 00:37:16,747 What if? - Okay- 975 00:37:16,747 --> 00:37:17,917 - Wouldn't it be nice to avoid 976 00:37:17,917 --> 00:37:19,657 all those hard, tough feelings? 977 00:37:19,657 --> 00:37:21,827 - All right, let's just walk through a few moves, okay? 978 00:37:21,827 --> 00:37:24,517 - Okay, so can I pitch what should happen first? 979 00:37:24,517 --> 00:37:25,350 - Okay. 980 00:37:25,350 --> 00:37:27,546 - I think you should touch tongues. 981 00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:29,017 (Sam and crew laughing) 982 00:37:29,017 --> 00:37:30,517 Instead of touching gloves. 983 00:37:30,517 --> 00:37:32,617 Does that feel comfortable, or does that feel nasty? 984 00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,086 - I mean, wildly uncomfortable. 985 00:37:34,086 --> 00:37:35,154 - Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. 986 00:37:35,154 --> 00:37:36,397 - Wildly uncomfortable. 987 00:37:36,397 --> 00:37:37,717 If it's a choice between touching tongues 988 00:37:37,717 --> 00:37:42,397 or getting hit in the face, I'd rather touch tongues. 989 00:37:42,397 --> 00:37:43,927 - How does that make you feel? 990 00:37:43,927 --> 00:37:45,757 - I mean, I'm open to touching tongues. 991 00:37:45,757 --> 00:37:48,302 - Again, again, I'm 19. 992 00:37:48,302 --> 00:37:49,535 (Sam and crew laughing) 993 00:37:49,535 --> 00:37:52,027 I've never kissed or fucked, 994 00:37:52,027 --> 00:37:53,857 and I took a course online to be here. 995 00:37:53,857 --> 00:37:58,297 - And cut! Incredible! (buzzer buzzes) 996 00:37:58,297 --> 00:38:02,947 50 million pay-per-view points for the three of you. 997 00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:05,247 Last prompt of our game. - What? 998 00:38:05,247 --> 00:38:07,297 - If I could, I would just double the order. 999 00:38:07,297 --> 00:38:09,384 Double the episode. - Aren't you in charge? 1000 00:38:09,384 --> 00:38:11,158 (everyone laughing) 1001 00:38:11,158 --> 00:38:12,037 Is Sam not in charge? 1002 00:38:12,037 --> 00:38:14,278 - If not you, who can make this call? 1003 00:38:14,278 --> 00:38:15,127 - Exactly! 1004 00:38:15,127 --> 00:38:16,117 - Brennan! - Yuh? 1005 00:38:16,117 --> 00:38:17,767 - Jacob, and Lou. 1006 00:38:17,767 --> 00:38:20,527 - Now Sam, don't you come 'round here not having no prompt. 1007 00:38:20,527 --> 00:38:22,777 - I like it better and better each time. 1008 00:38:22,777 --> 00:38:24,152 - I'm never going to do it again. 1009 00:38:24,152 --> 00:38:24,985 (Brennan and Jacob chortle) 1010 00:38:24,985 --> 00:38:29,985 - This funeral home is run like a New York City deli. 1011 00:38:30,607 --> 00:38:32,227 (Brooklyn accent) - Come on up. Who died? 1012 00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:33,727 - Grandpa. - Cremated or coffin? 1013 00:38:33,727 --> 00:38:35,197 - Can we do coffin? - Satin, silk? 1014 00:38:35,197 --> 00:38:36,030 - Satin. 1015 00:38:36,030 --> 00:38:37,657 - Buried Green-Wood or outside the city? 1016 00:38:37,657 --> 00:38:38,557 - Shit, shit, shit. 1017 00:38:38,557 --> 00:38:40,238 Which one do you recommend this time of year? 1018 00:38:40,238 --> 00:38:41,071 - Just move to the side real quick. 1019 00:38:41,071 --> 00:38:41,904 - Oh, sorry 'bout that. 1020 00:38:41,904 --> 00:38:43,867 - You think about it over here. I'll get the next guy. 1021 00:38:43,867 --> 00:38:44,700 Who died? 1022 00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:46,057 (Texan accent) - Hey, howdy. I'm visiting from Texas. 1023 00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:47,467 Never been to New York City before. 1024 00:38:47,467 --> 00:38:48,300 - Who died? 1025 00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:49,537 - A lot of people died this year. Been a tough year. 1026 00:38:49,537 --> 00:38:51,217 My aunt, she passed away. She passed away. 1027 00:38:51,217 --> 00:38:53,467 She fell down a well. (Sam and crew laughing) 1028 00:38:53,467 --> 00:38:54,300 She fell down a well. 1029 00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:55,867 - Okay, you doing cremate or you doing burial? 1030 00:38:55,867 --> 00:38:57,813 - She wanted to be turned into a tree. 1031 00:38:57,813 --> 00:38:58,657 - Okay, move to the other side. 1032 00:38:58,657 --> 00:39:00,233 - Okay. - This guy here. 1033 00:39:00,233 --> 00:39:01,205 - Hey, what's going on? 1034 00:39:01,205 --> 00:39:03,414 - Hey, Tony! What's up, boss? 1035 00:39:03,414 --> 00:39:04,834 Yeah, you got it. - Yeah, what's going on? 1036 00:39:04,834 --> 00:39:06,187 I mean, yeah, can we just do the number two? 1037 00:39:06,187 --> 00:39:07,597 Make it quick. - Yeah, real quick. 1038 00:39:07,597 --> 00:39:09,503 You want the Elon Musk? - Yep, yep. 1039 00:39:09,503 --> 00:39:10,778 (Sam and crew laughing) 1040 00:39:10,778 --> 00:39:13,393 Hey, thank you. Perfect, perfect, perfect. 1041 00:39:13,393 --> 00:39:15,687 Thank you, brother. - We also do sandwiches. 1042 00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:18,787 Oh, what we got here? - We got a fresh one. 1043 00:39:18,787 --> 00:39:21,007 - I can do this right now. I got it, hold on. 1044 00:39:21,007 --> 00:39:22,237 - I was gonna take it downstairs. 1045 00:39:22,237 --> 00:39:23,377 - No, we gotta lock it from the outside, 1046 00:39:23,377 --> 00:39:25,754 'cause the guy keeps going... (babbling rapidly) 1047 00:39:25,754 --> 00:39:27,418 (Jacob babbling rapidly in a Brooklyn accent) 1048 00:39:27,418 --> 00:39:28,401 - You don't know what you're fucking talking about! 1049 00:39:28,401 --> 00:39:29,234 - Fuggedaboudit! - Hey, excuse me! 1050 00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:30,097 I think I know. I'm gonna do Green-Wood. 1051 00:39:30,097 --> 00:39:31,807 Let's do Green-Wood. - Get him a Green-Wood! 1052 00:39:31,807 --> 00:39:33,233 He got a grandpa that gotta go in the ground! 1053 00:39:33,233 --> 00:39:34,423 - Hey, hey, hey, hey! 1054 00:39:34,423 --> 00:39:36,757 Not a lot of people asking you, how you doin'? 1055 00:39:36,757 --> 00:39:38,221 - You know me. I can't complain. 1056 00:39:38,221 --> 00:39:41,128 - Ah! (buzzer buzzes) 1057 00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,020 (everyone laughing) 1058 00:39:43,020 --> 00:39:45,037 - Un-fucking-real. 1059 00:39:45,037 --> 00:39:47,797 45 points, survived by their recipients, 1060 00:39:47,797 --> 00:39:49,897 Lou, Jake, and Brennan. 1061 00:39:49,897 --> 00:39:53,077 That brings us to the end of our show. 1062 00:39:53,077 --> 00:39:55,300 Our winner tonight. 1063 00:39:57,667 --> 00:40:01,087 I have never seen three more evenly matched players 1064 00:40:01,087 --> 00:40:04,033 up on this stage, and this is a three way tie. 1065 00:40:04,033 --> 00:40:05,149 (players cheering in unison) - Wow! 1066 00:40:05,149 --> 00:40:05,982 (celebratory music) 1067 00:40:05,982 --> 00:40:09,637 Congratulations, the three of you! 1068 00:40:09,637 --> 00:40:14,167 You are all the recipients of the coveted golden ear. 1069 00:40:14,167 --> 00:40:16,850 - We're all going to have to move into the same house! 1070 00:40:16,850 --> 00:40:17,683 - Yeah! - I guess! 1071 00:40:18,637 --> 00:40:20,887 - That does it for us here at "Make Some Noise". 1072 00:40:20,887 --> 00:40:23,077 Tune in next time for more of the game samer. 1073 00:40:23,077 --> 00:40:25,147 I'm Sam Reich, and that sounds pretty good to me. 1074 00:40:25,147 --> 00:40:28,120 Goodnight. (relaxing music) 1075 00:40:31,832 --> 00:40:35,415 (relaxing music continues and fades)