- [Sam] Tonight, not waiting for me
to finish their introduction-
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a meeting
with Spielberg in 25, Sam.
Let's go. Give me a prompt.
A man who's a bongo.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, bing-bong, bing-bong!
- [Sam] A baseball player
taking his time rounding the bases,
it's Kurt Maloney! (Kurt mimics bat smacking)
- That is gone!
Hell yeah!
That is-
Yeah, I'm going.
First!
Dodger Stadium!
And that's second.
Get loud!
- [Sam] And hiding that her hands are glued together,
it's Angela Giarratana!
(Angela tongue waggling and screaming)
- (laughs wildly) How y'all doing?
- (laughing) Hey.
- Good to be here!
- Hey, nice to see you. What's up?
- No!
- [Sam] They're all here to...
- [All] Make Some Noise!
(exuberant jazzy music)
- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"
the game so good we spun it off "unchanged".
I am your host, Sam Reich. Here's how the show works.
I have here a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right, players?
- Correct.
- Never seen it. - Uh-huh.
- They will, to the best of their ability,
fulfill those prompts.
I will award them corresponding points
and the winner will go home with the coveted Golden Ear,
which it feels like it probably would have more sense
to do the Golden Mouth, but it's too late now!
Players, are you ready to rumble?
(Jacob rumbling)
(Jacob and Kurt rumbling)
(players rumbling)
This is a little minigame that we like to call
A Challenger Appears.
Our players are going to step forward one at a time
and speak on a topic expertly.
If, at any point, they would like to challenge each other,
they may do so by buzzing in and yelling "challenge."
Last player speaking at the end of three minutes wins.
Your topic is:
developing your taste in music.
(buzzer rings) Jacob.
- You're gonna love what you listen to when you're 15,
at which you like- - Hm, challenge.
(buzzer rings) - Angela.
- Nostalgia is lies.
- I love it.
- If you liked a song 'cause you were in second grade
and you heard it, then you just miss second grade.
(buzzer rings) - Challenge!
- Kurt.
- "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" still slaps.
- It certainly does! - [Angela] Oh!
- Not only do you get to sing it as loud as you can,
but then your buddies get to come in
like, a little bit later,
and that is called a refrain?
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
It's calling singing in the round!
- Damn it! (Angela laughing)
- (laughing) That is correct!
- I think it's fun when kids sing
because nobody judges them that hard.
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
- [Sam] Yeah. - Fuck Kidz Bop.
- Yeah, 100% - I'll judge 'em.
Every Kidz Bop song
is a worse version of the regular song.
You ever heard "Wet-Ass Pussy" by Kidz Bop?
If you wanna listen to good music,
"Tony Hawk Pro Skater" has some really-
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
Kurt's only saying that
because I played the "Tony Hawk Pro Skater" playlist
before we filmed this episode to get the vibes right.
- Wow, Kurt! - Damn it!
- Called the fuck out!
- Don't steal ideas unless you're hot.
You can steal ideas if you're hot.
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
- [Sam] Yes.
- I feel like I'm hot enough to steal an idea.
Not all the ideas, but I get one!
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
- Yeah.
- Kurt is not hot enough to steal ideas.
(Sam and Jacob cackling)
- Fuck!
- It's yours. 20 seconds. - Yes.
Hot people can steal,
and Kurt is not one of them with us today.
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
- [Sam] Yeah. - Well guess what,
I'm stealing anyways!
(Angela laughing) That's what stealing is,
is taking what's yours and making it mine.
- That's technically true. - [Angela] Yeah.
- Sometimes I'll steal Pokémon cards (laughs)
because they're very expensive.
Pokémon is a game that has no music in it.
- Challenge. - [Sam] Yes.
- So much music in Pokémon.
- So much music. - [Kurt] As I said it...
♪ Pokémon ♪ - [Sam] 10 seconds.
♪ Gotta catch 'em all ♪
(Jacob scatting)
- Challenge. - [Sam] Yeah.
- He clearly doesn't know the rest of the lyrics.
- Yeah, that's correct.
- The next lyric is "Pokémon."
- Challenge! - It's Pokémon.
- [Sam] Yeah. - No, it's not.
♪ Gotta catch 'em all, Pokémon ♪
- No.
♪ Gotta catch 'em all ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo dee-doo-doo, Pokémon ♪
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
- Angela.
- That's a melody, not lyrics.
- That's true.
- Fuck you guys. I don't know anything about Pokémon.
- Challenge! (buzzer rings)
- [Sam] Yeah. - I know plenty.
(buzzer blares) - And that's yours, Jake!
- (proudly) Pikachu! (players and crew clapping)
- Jacob an early front-runner in this game
where the points don't matter.
- You know what does matter?
When your friend says you're not hot.
- Okay... (Sam guffawing)
- Goddamn!
- Now, hot, I think, is uncontestable, and I say that
because we look similar.
- Yeah, if Kurt's not hot, you're not hot for sure.
(cheerful whimsical music) - That brings us to round one?
(Angela laughs) Jacob!
- Hey man, happy to be here.
- One of these haunted house sounds doesn't belong.
(Jacob mimics door creaking spookily)
(Jacob mimics lightning crackling and thunder crashing)
(Jacob mimics wolf howling)
- (nasally) Do you wanna buy a new car?
(Jacob mimics lightning crackling and thunder crashing)
(Jacob mimics heart thumping loudly)
(nasally) It's a 2006 Scion!
(Sam and crew laughing)
My CDs are still in the-
(Jacob mimics heart thumping)
(screaming) No, no, my spleen! My body, no, no, no!
(nasally) It's got new tires!
Anybody want a-
(Jacob mimics lightning crackling)
(Jacob mimics heartbeats slowing dramatically)
(nasally) Anybody in this house?
(Sam and players laughing) (buzzer blares)
- In the lore of this, he entered the house.
- Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A 12-foot-tall point out on the front lawn for you.
(Jacob chuckles)
Kurt.
(laughs) I sincerely apologize.
After three years, I should know better.
- Yeah, it's been, this is our third season together.
- Treat you with respect.
- Please.
- Mr. Kurt. - Mr. Sam.
- An applicant shoehorns adversity
into his college interview.
- Adversity, of course.
(racking brain) Uh, I have struggled, uh, in my life.
Um... (Angela and crew laughing)
Growing up, um, and sorry if I get emotional.
(fakes getting emotional) But growing up, my mom and my dad,
they very much love each other
and they always stuck through thick and thin,
uh, but they had, like, different vibes
they wanted for the house
(players and Sam laughing)
as far as decor goes.
My dad was like, more mid-century modern,
but my mom wanted to be more like, cottagecore,
and it was just like, mid-century cottagecore
'cause they found, like, some sort of agreement
'cause they would never fight in front of me.
They never fought in front of me!
And so like, I had to see this like, healthy marriage,
like, but in the background,
it just like, didn't make any sense!
It's uh...
(seriously) I'll suck your dick if you let me into Yale.
(Sam and crew laughing) (buzzer blares)
- That's tough. I'm sorry you went through that.
- Thank you. Yeah. - Yeah.
- 10 lightly scuffed silver spoons for you, Kurt.
- Thank you. - Which brings us to Angela.
- Yeah!
- Just the longest explanation of a Halloween costume.
- (laughs) Right? Season four, episode two, the prologue?
(Sam laughing)
I know, so in the back, the door opens.
Do you remember in another season of "The Leftovers"
where that girl walks through the door?
This is that door.
And up here, (Sam and crew laughing)
I'm doing like, kind of like a bit of a nod
to like, queer culture.
Wait, hold on, stop. Come over here.
Do you remember season four, episode two?
Yeah, in the back, in back you'll see-
Will you read it? It explains it in the back.
Yeah. (laughs)
Wait, hold on, the shoes?
When I tell you the shoes
are a little bit of a nod to Shakespeare,
have you read the Bard? (laughs)
Come back!
(buzzer blares) (Sam laughing)
- A true patchwork. I couldn't even identify a theme.
- Me either, Sam! I've never seen "The Leftovers."
- 77 fun-sized points for you, Angela.
Jacob. - Yeah?
- A huckster pitches a get-rich-slow scheme.
- (mimics circus barker) Step right up, step right up!
Step right up! I've got a plan to make you rich!
(pounding emphatically) We are going to
slowly raise chickens! (Sam and crew laughing)
I got incubator gains! I got incubator gains!
What we're going to do is take this egg.
We are going to hatch a chicken!
And we're gonna wait to see if it's a boy or a girl.
We're going to wait to see what sex the chick is.
Once you determine the sex of the chicken,
you will come back to me!
And I will provide you with another chicken egg!
Incubator chicken egg, incubator chicken egg,
incubator chicken egg!
You will find that sex of the second chicken.
If they are compatible, you will make your chickens fuck.
They want to do that.
If they are not compatible, you will come back to me
for another incubator chicken egg,
incubator chicken egg, incubator chicken egg.
Once those two chickens have begun to fuck,
they will lay an incubator chicken egg,
an incubator chicken egg, and an incubator chicken egg.
Once you have an offspring of a chicken,
you have to come back to me for another set
of two incubator chicken eggs, incubator chicken eggs,
incubator chicken eggs because we do not want DNA crossover.
We will not be having incestual chickens, understood?
Once you have four DNA sets of chickens,
you're gonna make those chickens fuck-
(Sam laughing)
Once you have four chickens fucking,
you're just gonna get eggs.
You're gonna wait 12 days.
You're gonna take those eggs.
You're gonna put them in a carton.
You're gonna sell those eggs, but trust me,
one day, eggs will be so much money.
(Sam and Angela laughing) (buzzer blares)
- Wow! Hurling toward a punchline I didn't see coming.
- It's time to Make Some Noise.
- Did you know that was where you going
at the beginning of that?
- This whole show is, "Will the parachute come out?"
- Yeah, yes, yes. - Oh my god, yes!
- You're just like, "I hope it comes!"
- And you're like, "Look at the view!"
(players and Sam laughing)
- Let's say 33 points at 4.10% APY for you.
Which brings us to Mr. Kurt.
- Mr. Sam.
- Gangster Drew Carey wants a word with Sam Reich
about "Make Some Noise."
- Oh yeah!
- Oh, Sam, come in.
Sit. Take a seat.
It is so good that we finally met, you know?
'Cause we've been circling each other for some time.
- Quite some time.
- And really what we've been circling
is each other's businesses.
(crew members giggling)
More specifically, my business.
(Sam laughing) More specifically...
we have a problem.
Don't look away. I have stationed my guards behind me.
- (laughs) Yes, you have.
- Wayne Brady.
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- And Colin Mochrie.
- I'm tall.
(Sam cackling)
- Colin thinks he's Ryan Stiles.
(Sam and crew laughing) It's weird. It's weird.
(Jacob laughing) You're bald, not tall.
25% and I'll look the other way.
- 25?
- Because here's the deal, Sam.
I invented improv, and you come in onto my turf
hiring younger talent
that is fucking hot, all of them!
And who do I got? I got Wayne Brady.
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- And a bald man who thinks he's a tall man.
- That's all of us.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- For your insubordination, it's now 30%!
- I mean, I have no choice. I accept your terms.
- Drew Carey, you can actually, that's a real contract.
(buzzer blares) A verbal contract is abiding.
You're welcome. - Please, no!
- Call me.
- 10,000 points to me for being so brave.
(Kurt snaps fingers dejectedly)
Angela. - Yeah!
- Whispered commentary on every trailer before the movie.
- Ooh, from the producers of "Wedding Crashers"?
My god. (laughs)
Oh, this looks like a fucking shitshow. Oh my god.
What'd they shoot this, Chadsworth for Brazil? (laughs)
Ssh, shh!
(Sam cackling)
Ssh, ssh.
- I'm not speaking. I was-
- Ariana Grande, I think- - Okay.
- Honestly, needs a new team. (laughs)
- Okay. - Shh, shh, shh!
- Are you shushing me?
(Jacob shushing)
I'm not the one! I'm not the one that's saying something.
(Jacob continues shushing) Okay, okay, okay.
- I heard a lot about Jerry Bruckheimer
and this whole drama.
Have you heard about the drama with the movie?
- So crazy.
- It's honestly really fucking crazy. Like, honestly-
- What's the drama?
(Jacob and Angela shushing)
- The set was insane! No one could walk.
- Everything was on rafters.
- Yeah, so they had- (Sam and crew laughing)
(Angela and Jacob shushing)
- Me? I'm asking the- (Sam clapping and laughing)
- They had the level for Jerry above
and never walked on the bottom.
What do you think about that?
- I think this movie looks good.
- Dude, I'm fucking with my kids.
(Sam cackling) (buzzer blares)
I was with my kid, man.
- He's with his fucking kid. - You're fucking with him?
- PG-13 points for you.
- Oh.
- That brings us to our second minigame.
This is a little minigame
that we like to call the Warp Zone.
How it works is, players, I am going to apply face filters
to each of your faces. (Jacob chuckles)
- Yes! - You'll be able to see it
merely by looking down the barrel of this lens.
- This is what I do at home when I'm sad and alone.
- Me too! (Sam and crew laughing)
- Players, your assignment is a simple one.
(Jacob and Angela laughing)
I merely want you to create a character
based on the filter in front of you.
Jacob, we will start with you.
- (childishly) Okay, okay!
Okay, my mom, my mom, my mom did my hair today.
(players laughing) Okay!
Yes, I'm ready for picture day today. My mom did my hair.
Hello! Yay!
(buzzer blares)
- I loved that, Jake!
Same filter, let's see what happens with Kurt.
- [Jacob] Conan O'Brien-ass.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- (slurred speech) Hey man, are you good, dude?
(Sam and Angela laughing)
Hey, bro, it's not regular water, man.
(Jacob and Angela laughing)
That was laced, man!
I woulda told you,
but I didn't see you bring it up, man.
Like 40 hits of acid!
Like 40 hits of acid, man!
(buzzer blares) (Jacob and Angela laughing)
- Oh my god, I cried!
- Angela, same filter.
Let's see what inspires you. - Okay.
(players and crew laughing)
- (shouting) Hey, guys!
We got free iPads out here in Alhambra!
Come on, pick up your free iPads!
These iPads are nice, right? All right?
And they come with a ticket to Six Flags!
We're going on roller coasters! (laughs)
(buzzer blares)
- Just absolute nightmare fuel.
- Alhambra. Come down to Alhambra!
- Come on down to Alhambra!
- Jacob, let's see what inspires you.
Now, this is fun 'cause you kinda have to find
where you wanna be in it and then who the-
(laughing) Oh god! Oh god! (crew laughing and clapping)
- That's so fucked up! (Sam cackling)
- (nasally) You were not aware that this is a shared Airbnb?
(Sam and crew cracking up)
Yes, I'm directly across the hall from you,
but I'm only interested in sharing the kitchen.
If you don't mind, I'll be cooking what I call American dal,
which is, of course,
a classic Indian dish with American spices.
I love a little bit of cumin.
I love a little bit of lemongrass.
(buzzer blares) (Kurt and crew laughing)
- Oh, a shared Airbnb!
- (nasally) You're not aware?
- You weren't aware that this is a shared Airbnb?
- Oh, Kurt.
- Yeah, a little fun fact about me is,
I actually used to have another head.
But we had to part ways, you know?
He's fine.
He's just the head part now,
but we just had a lot of disagreements on like,
dating preferences, so...
(buzzer blares)
- I love when an improviser interviews themself
trying to find more material.
- [Angela] Yeah. - What do I like?
(Sam and players laughing)
- Angela.
- I'm gonna get up front too 'cause I don't have my glasses,
if that's okay.
(crew members laughing)
(nasally) Do you have an appoint at the Genius Bar?
I'm sorry that that dongle doesn't work.
Oh no, you're like four updates behind, my guy!
Come on now! Okay?
Well no, you have to wait at that brown table
and then they'll bring you to this brown table
and then they'll bring you over here to the kids corner
where they do GarageBand.
I teach iMovie slideshows on Saturdays if you wanna come.
(Sam cackling)
(Angela chuckles) (buzzer blares)
- And that is a minigame.
- What a hoot.
- I could do that for truly days!
(bombastic lively music)
- That brings us to round two, where our players
will now test their talents in teams of twos!
Jacob. - Yeah!
- Mr. Kurt. - Mr. Sam.
- A "weird guy" inspection checkpoint.
- So this is some sort of a checkpoint or something?
What are they even fucking looking for?
- I don't know. I was just told to stand in line.
- Yeah. - I was checking the sky,
learning my exact location based on the angle of the Sun,
and they said, "Hey, weirdo, go get in line
so we can figure out which one of you is the worst."
- That's not weird at all.
- I know, that's not weird. - That's not weird at all.
- Don't you wanna know where you stand
in the beautiful universe? - Yeah. Yeah, right?
I was playing with bugs that I brought in this jar and they-
- Oh my gosh!
- Yeah, look! - What are their names?
- All right, folks, let's empty your pockets.
What do you got? What do you got?
- I got two ladybugs.
- Okay, you?
- I have a copy of my 23andMe.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- Oof, okay. Now back pockets, let's see.
- Fake eyebrows.
- A second copy of my 23andMe.
- Oh, you did it twice?
- Yeah, yeah, I wanted to see
if there was any differentials.
- Do you guys have anything on your stomachs?
- Just Russian prison tattoos.
- Okay, great, you guys are in the right line.
- I wasn't even trying to get in line.
I was just trying to cross the Canadian border
to go to Tim Hortons.
- We love Tim Hortons.
- You know, we don't have Tim Hortons in Michigan.
- We don't. - So we gotta cross the border
to get our Tim Hortons.
- It's just all right.
- What a fucking loser! - Okay, then you need
to get in this line! - What a weirdo!
- Yeah, weirdo! - Get in line!
- Get over here. Yeah. - Get in line. Hello?
Hey, by the way, what was your name?
- Geoffrey. What's your name?
- Alphabet.
(buzzer blares)
- Alphabet?
- Weird guy. - I just liked the moment
where I looked in Jake's eyes and we both went,
"Well, I'm not gonna be the straight man in this one."
- Yeah, yeah. (Sam laughing)
- Let's just peas in a pod this thing.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, five points on your weird guy license
for both of you.
Mr. Kurt. - Mr. Sam.
- Angela. - Yeah?
- Your girlfriend's grandma thinks of herself
as your grand-girlfriend.
(Jacob cackling)
♪ Bing-Bong ♪
- I'm letting myself in
'cause you told me to do that last time.
- (grandmotherly) Of course, come on in.
(Sam and crew laughing) - I'll come in.
Jessica just wanted me to swing by
and return the towels that you let us borrow.
- Oh, honey, you didn't text me back.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- Oh, I- I- I didn't see that you texted me.
- I liked your story and I heard nothing back.
- Oh yeah, so, Nana Amy, that's not a text.
It's like, I don't see who likes the story.
- Yes, you do.
I know you do.
- Okay, you're right. I did see that you liked the story.
It just, it was a little odd.
Actually, I wanted to talk to you about it.
It's a little odd 'cause it was me and Jess,
and we were shirtless, or I was shirtless and-
- I liked you shirtless.
- It just felt like, a little uncomfortable.
- Oh, speaking of uncomfortable,
you haven't wished me a happy anniversary
since we started hooking up.
(Sam and crew guffawing)
- Nana Amy, it's the anniversary with me and Jessica.
- Yes, but you were hooking up
and you came here and I baked you bread.
We're hooking up.
- No, so that's not what that word means.
Hooking up is like a, it's like a sexual thing.
- Will you get my dialysis machine?
- [Kurt] Yeah, of course.
(Jacob belly laughs)
(crew laughing)
Okay, so I should go then?
- I got us matching T-shirts!
- Oh god, okay. Yeah, let's see the matching T-shirts.
- Well, I'm hooked up to dialysis! Take it off first!
- Sorry, I thought you wanted me to take...
- There it is, it's one of those Instagram ads
where it's a bunch of pictures of my face
and it says you're my boyfriend.
- Oh, oh, you put your face on Jessica's body.
- 'Cause I used to look exactly like her.
We're related. (chuckles)
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. (Sam laughing)
So okay, it was good to see you.
- Tons of unopened Snapchats.
- Yes, I am not opening those anymore
because you are not fully clothed in any of them.
- I don't see the issue here.
(Kurt, Angela, and Sam cracking up)
- Okay, I guess I'll open 'em.
- Mm, good. I took 'em for you.
- Oh, god.
Oh!
- Yeah. - Well, you know your angles.
That's good. - Yeah, thanks.
(buzzer blares) (Sam laughing)
That was my ass. My angle is my ass.
- Yeah, I guess nine grandpoints to you both.
Which brings us to Angela.
- Yeah.
- And Jacob.
- Hey. - Hey.
- A stand-up and a heckler have surprising chemistry.
- Are you girls growing out your bushes these days?
I am. (laughs)
(crew members clap and cheer) I'm like, so into it.
I was like, seeing this guy and he was like,
"Is that a fucking bush?"
And I was like- - Shit, I don't mind that!
- (laughs) You don't? - Shit!
- Oh my god, where are you from?
- Oh yeah. I'm from LA.
- Okay, god, if I see another fucking LA boy
with a fucking neck tattoo,
I'm gonna fucking blow my brains out.
- It's like, if everybody has a tattoo nobody does, right?
- That's cra-
Uh, yeah, I... (stammers)
Yeah, totally! I honestly was just about to say that.
Anyway- - You're so funny.
- What? - You're so funny.
You've been so funny this whole time.
- Dude, have I been funny the whole time?
- You've been so funny this whole time.
- Do you think the smelly vag thing didn't go over well?
- No, I thought that humanized you, and that shit was rad.
- Holy fuck, dude. Um... - Yeah.
Keep rippin' it! Keep rippin' it!
- Okay! Do I have any Florida heads here? (laughing)
You don't, you're not, you don't...
- I don't fuck with Florida.
- [Angela] Oh, fuck. Okay, um...
- [Jacob] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I've been single for a bit.
- No way.
(Sam and crew laughing and clapping)
It's crazy 'cause like, you're just so hot,
and if somebody was uglier doing your same jokes,
they wouldn't be as funny.
- You wanna go get some wings?
- What's up?
(Sam laughing)
Everybody give us a second.
What's your Snapchat?
This is crazy. I've never connected with somebody like this.
- This is crazy.
- I'm not gonna call you for four days.
- All right. Oh, you too.
(buzzer blares) (Sam and crew laughing)
- The only reason I didn't cut that off sooner
is I got caught up in the plot.
- Me too. I started being like, we're in a movie.
- We were taking our time.
It was sort of like an indie flick, like,
you shoot that on a 5D with some like,
twinkly lights in the background.
- Oh my god, 12 points with a two-drink minimum-
- Mm-hmm. - for both of you,
which brings us all the way back to Jacob and Mr. Kurt.
- Mr. Sam.
- The final transmission to base camp
from the failed expedition up Mountain Dew.
- Too all of those who are listening,
we've reached a Code Red.
(Sam and crew laughing and clapping)
My name is Dr. Alfonzo Balatraz,
and I'm here with our expe-Dew-tion leader.
- Amanda Rebenholtz.
- If you're hearing this,
everybody else on the expedition has died.
The mountain was simply too gnarly.
There was too much sick shit going on.
- Our Captain, Reynolds, was on a BMX biking expedition
to scout ahead, and he did three backflips off the mountain
and splattered on the ground.
- You're probably wondering
about our forward expedition crew.
All 13 of them, they died because
there was a Red Bull flume log happening on the mountain.
Each of them were individually struck
by a handmade soapbox car
that looked like a TV show you remember.
We've tried to reach the tip of the mountain,
but every time we get up there,
we're experiencing some ultrasonic frequencies.
It sounds like a "Call of Duty" lobby.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- If we had to put words to it,
it would be something like...
(operatic "ah"-ing)
- Which one of you bitches is ready to get murked?
- Killmonger Killtastrophe!
- So many dead!
- Killing spree!
- If we've got one last message, it's to know,
nobody should do the Dew up here.
- And send chili cheese fries to balance it out.
(buzzer blares) - Wow, somber. Yeah!
- Okay, we're pitching features!
- [Sam] Bravo!
- I was Jack Black and he was Jason Momoa.
- Yeah, I don't know. Jason Momoa?
Not as hot as Kurt.
- Thank you!
- 33 Code Red points for you both.
Kurt!
- Mr. Sam.
- Sincere apologies. Mr. Kurt.
- Sam.
(Sam chuckles)
- See how it feels, man?
- Don't feel good.
- And Angela.
- Yeah!
- Starting a bar fight over absolutely nothing.
- Crazy fucking thing about gin and tonic
is I don't even know how much tonic they put in this one.
- You can watch the guy make the drink. They measure it out.
- You're gonna tell me the bartender measures stuff?
- Yeah, every drink is a recipe.
- I'm so fucking sick of you, dude!
Put the drink down. Let's handle this like men.
- Okay, yeah. I'm actually excited this is happening.
- Yeah, what are you fucking excited about?
- I just haven't felt something in a long time,
and I'd like to feel something!
- I just don't think anybody measures anything,
and anytime anybody does that, I feel really stupid!
- Hit me.
- Up next for karaoke's Brian!
- You're gonna have to wait one second.
That is me, and I get real excited about karaoke.
(Angela screams)
Thank you so much.
This one goes out
to the guy I'm about to fight after this song.
Hit it!
♪ Isn't she lovely ♪
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
- Hurry the fuck up!
♪ Isn't she wonderful ♪
- I'm gonna fuck you up. - You knew
this was happening too, huh?
- I just read the list. ♪ Isn't she precious ♪
(Angela screams) - Oh, there's a 33-second-
- Oh, classic! You're measuring the music break!
- It says on the fucking TV! - Stop measuring shit! Stop!
- [Sam] Wow, way to bring it full circle, gang!
- Nice.
- Let's say a one-to-one ratio of points
for the both of you.
Which brings us to the last prompt of round two, Angela
- Yeah.
- and Jacob.
- Okay!
- Cheerleaders cheer a eulogy for their fallen classmate.
(crew laughing)
- D! (Angela claps)
E! (Angela claps)
A! (Angela claps)
D! (Angela claps)
Brianna is gone (Angela claps)
and my heart's real sad. (Angela claps)
- Brianna is gone (claps)
and I'm feeling really bad! (claps)
- What if we didn't have a loss?
- What if we didn't find her body?
♪ Her body was at the bottom ♪
♪ Of a lake ♪ ♪ Of a lake ♪
♪ She was not a good swimmer ♪
- We actually don't know what happened yet.
We don't actually fully know what happened yet,
and you shouldn't say things like that.
- But if we look like we're trying to hide something
it will be weird, Jessica!
- T! (claps)
R! (claps)
U! (claps)
T! (claps)
H! (claps)
We don't know.
- (clapping) T-R-U-T-H!
We'll tell you what we have to give,
which is an alibi!
- We need our lawyers.
If you're asking,
we need our lawyers! - Our lawyers!
- [Both] If you're asking, we need our lawyers!
- 'Cause we are not scared of the...
- [Both] (clapping) T-R-U-T-H!
(buzzer blares) (crew clapping)
- Wow!
- That was good.
- Yeah, two, four, six, eight points for you both.
Which brings us to our third and final minigame.
This is a little minigame
that we like to call Silent but Deadly.
- Mm! - Mm.
- How this'll work is my players
will begin a scene in total silence.
They will allow the tension in that scene to build
until they feel they have no choice
but to finally punctuate it with dialogue.
To begin this scene, my players require no suggestion.
Take it away, players.
(crew members chuckle)
(crew members giggling)
(Angela sniffles)
(Sam giggles softly)
(crew laughing)
- If you wanna be buried alive, we'll do it.
- You'll do it?
- We'll do it. - We'll do it.
- Whatever you want, Dad.
- Someone come with me.
(Sam laughing)
- You can't Nose Goes our dad's death, Diego!
- I already Nose Goes-ed you, now go!
(buzzer blares) Whatever, Diana!
- [Angela] (mockingly) Whatever, Diana!
(lively piano music)
- That brings us to round three
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss together.
- Okay! Yes, fun time!
- Jacob. - Oh.
- Mr. Kurt. - Mr. Sam.
- And Angela. - Yeah!
- Trying to network in the mosh pit.
- [Angela] Fuck yeah.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, how's it going?
- Hey, hey. Sorry.
- Hey, what's up? Tanner, Tanner, Tanner.
- Joey, Joey. - Cool, hey, what's up? Yeah.
- Miranda.
- I have a Smashburger spot I have in my backyard.
(Sam laughs)
- I'm actually in marketing if you're ever in that...
- Serious? - [Kurt] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Like social media marketing? - [Kurt] Yeah.
- That's so funny you guys brought that up
'cause I'm an actor looking for work.
- Have you been in anything?
- Yeah, what have you been in?
- [Jacob] What have you been in?
- What have you been in?
- What are your credits?
Where have I seen you from? - "Make Some Noise."
- Where have I seen you from? - Have you heard of it?
- No. - It's a really fun show.
- [Jacob] No. - It's kinda like improv.
- What's your full name?
- What's improv? (Sam laughing)
- What the fuck is a Smashburger?
- Whoa. - Whoa.
Hey, that's bad vibes.
- It's just a burger but smaller and thin?
- Shut up!
(Sam and crew laughing)
- You guys wanna take my card?
- Oh, I thought you were gonna say, do I wanna take a break?
Yes.
- [Kurt] Yes. It's time to take a break.
(buzzer blares) - [Angela] I love that!
- That's about as good an out as I can ask for.
- I'm not 19 anymore. I can't do it.
- I did start pushing you harder actually.
- I was flying.
- What's improv? - Whoa! (laughs)
- Let's say seven-second-degree connection
points for you all.
Next up, Jacob.
♪ Ah ♪
(Jacob chuckles)
- (laughs) You surprised yourself.
- Ah!
- Mr. Kurt. - Mr. Sam.
- Angela. - Yeah.
- "Challengers" but for competitive eating.
- I care about competitive eating a lot.
- Same.
- If we could just make this about the game.
- [Kurt] Sure. - And not about anything else,
I think it would be fine.
- Whoa.
Do you mind if I take a bite of your dog?
- You're more than welcome to.
- And I'm gonna make deep eye contact
with you while I do it. (Sam laughing)
(Angela stifling laughter) (Sam and crew chuckling)
- Eat it at the same time.
- What?
(Sam laughing)
- But we've been best friends since we were three years old.
- Both of you chug this can of beans together.
(Jacob gulping)
Don't chew, chug!
(Jacob gulping intensely)
- Get some hot dog too.
(Jacob and Kurt munching and moaning)
- Is this good? - (clapping) Game, set, match!
- I've loved you and I've always loved you.
- I love you more, and I've always loved you more.
- Both of you let me down in different ways.
(buzzer blares) - [Kurt] Damn it!
- As she does in the movie.
- That's the movie, that's the movie.
- Well navigated, gang!
- All I know is I'm gonna get a text from Kurt's girlfriend.
"Why you up in my man?"
- It's been a really horny episode, Sam.
- That's just showbiz, babe!
- 10 points dipped in water
in order so that they go down easier.
That brings us to the last prompt of our game.
- It's crazy. - Sweet.
- Jacob.
(Jacob screaming)
Mr. Kurt. - Mr. Sam.
- And Angela.
- (breathy) Yeah!
- The Founding Fathers dissuade Henry Poopfartbarf
from signing the Declaration of Independence.
- And since we are all in agreeance
that we are going to sign this piece of paper
(Sam laughing) in defiance of the king's rule
who will go first?
- I shall!
- [Kurt] Oh. - I'm Alexander Hamilton.
- (gravelly) I'll sign right under Alexander Hamilton.
- Oh, uh...
We actually didn't see you there, Mr. Poopfartbarf.
- I'll just sign right under Hamilton!
- Okay, all right, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!
I actually should sign first, me, John Hancock,
so I'll go first.
John... (Sam and crew clap and laugh)
- Oh, really big.
- Yeah. - Hancock.
- Good, good, good, good, good.
- Seems like there's a little space here for you, Alex.
- Yes, yes. - And I'll make room for mine.
Mine's just dick and balls with a happy face.
- Just wait! Wait, just wait!
- Whoa, let's just wait, let's just wait, let's just wait.
- One second.
- The balls are bigger than the dick. It's so funny!
- Let's just wait, let's just wait.
I'm sorry, is your signature-
- Yes, my name is Poopfartbarf,
and my signature is dick, balls, and a happy face.
- Okay, wait a minute- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (Angela screaming)
- It's just, it's an important document
and you're getting ink everywhere.
I know, since I've signed...
- I'm going to sign it.
- And then Alex's sign and then the rest of us
can kinda just say aye.
- Alexander Hamilton, definitely here for this.
- All three of us were really here.
- Really here. - Alexander Hamilton.
- Hamilton, John Hancock. - John Hancock.
(Angela babbling aggressively)
(buzzer blares) (Kurt and Sam laughing)
- Was gonna motorboat.
- Angela, perhaps my favorite character
I've ever seen you do.
A number of points that they won't tell you about
in history books.
That brings us to the end of our show.
Our winner tonight...
(paper rips)
Angela Giarratana. (bright upbeat music)
- Yeah! (clapping) - Yes! (clapping)
- Wow! Wow! - [Sam] Angela-
- [Jacob and Kurt] Congratulations!
- You are the recipient- - You brought it home.
- Wow! Wow! - [Jacob] Yes!
- of the coveted Golden Ear! (Angela laughing)
That does it for us here at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for more of the game samer.
I'm Sam Reich, and that sounds pretty good to me.
Good night.
(smooth upbeat music)
(upbeat music fades)