1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:04,172 LAINEY: Back in the '90s, one of the biggest toy fads was Beanie Babies. 2 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:07,141 These cute little stuffed animals took the world by storm. 3 00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:09,743 People would flock to shopping malls in a mad dash 4 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,312 to collect as many as they could, 5 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,481 and they were especially popular at William Penn. 6 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,582 What's your poison? 7 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:15,749 I need Claude the Crab. 8 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,485 That'll cost you $40. JOHNNY: Hey! 9 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,787 You know there's no dealing Beanies on school grounds. 10 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,755 Beat it before I tell Glascott. 11 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,957 I got Claude the Crab for $30. 12 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,494 That's right, suckers. 13 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,129 You're looking at a first-edition 14 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,164 mint-condition Patti the Platty! 15 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,700 I did a lot of things I'm not proud of to get this Beanie Baby. 16 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,369 You do know you're drooling over a bag of beans, and you're also adults? 17 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,004 Says the guy who loves Tamagotchis, 18 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,306 Furbys, Koosh balls... 19 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,707 Harry Potter, Goosebumps, 20 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,642 Pokemon, Magic: The Gathering... 21 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,777 Pogs, man. Pogs? Oh, come on! 22 00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,380 It says right there on the Pog package "fun for all ages." 23 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,682 But this whole Beanie Baby craze? Don't get it. 24 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,850 LAINEY: But they're so cute and cuddly. 25 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,152 Uh, look, don't touch. 26 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,720 Because, you know, your hands are gross. 27 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,189 Any way you'd part with Patti? 28 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,890 Come on. How much we talking? 29 00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,226 You collect these things, too? 30 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,328 Collect? No. I flip 'em. 31 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,563 Buy low, sell high, reap the rewards. 32 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,732 Above-ground pool, here I come! 33 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,201 These things double in value every day. 34 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,436 Ask Warren Buffett. 35 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,172 He'll tell you, "Sell stocks, buy beanies." 36 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,507 You're all fools. I know, right? 37 00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,676 What I mean is, there's a 100% chance 38 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,646 that one day we'll all be living in a post-apocalyptic world 39 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,382 where Beanie Babies are the only form of legal tender. 40 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,816 Do I sound this stupid talking about 41 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,051 all the weird stuff that I like? 42 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,820 You'll be a believer when you're scavenging for scraps 43 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,756 and I live like a king, 44 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,691 trading Pinchers the Lobster 45 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,427 for matches, seeds, and ice-cold drinking water. 46 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:34,528 Do you seriously believe that? 47 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:35,596 Oh, I do. 48 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,698 It's the only way I can justify spending $600 49 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,734 on a bean-stuffed crustacean in an eBay bidding war. 50 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,769 LAINEY: Can I pet it? 51 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:46,474 * One of these days You're gonna get outta here 52 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,543 * Live your life And finally be free 53 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,446 * Go where you wanna go Do what you wanna do 54 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,083 * Someday, you will say "Those were the days" * 55 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,386 LAINEY: It was December 11th, 1990-something, 56 00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,388 and Wilma was about to discover a holiday surprise. 57 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,456 Well, I'll be damned! 58 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,294 It's happening. 59 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,061 It's happening! 60 00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,063 Look what's on the card shelves this year. 61 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,665 Kwanzaa? That's right. 62 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,901 And as we all know, once we make it to Hallmark, 63 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,403 that means we're official! 64 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:16,570 Move over, Santa. 65 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:19,072 If you can, you fat sack of garbage. 66 00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,574 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 67 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,976 I'm sorry, but come on. Kwanzaa? 68 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,912 Oh. I'm Jehovah's Witness, 69 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,880 so we really don't do holidays. 70 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,749 What is your problem, man? Why do you got to ruin stuff, Coop? 71 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,150 I'm just saying... Once you find out... Ooh, you know what? 72 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,985 We should add it to the Christmas concert. 73 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,354 It'll be a good way to teach people 74 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,522 what Kwanzaa's all about. 75 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,689 You know, I think it'd be great 76 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,291 to put some new life into our holiday show. 77 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,527 We've been doing the same, old script since I went to school here. 78 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,761 And lucky for us, we have 79 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,297 a semi-professional script writer on faculty. 80 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,466 Who? Dear God! Do not ask. 81 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,534 Too late. She asked. 82 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,469 Screenplay, you ask? 83 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,838 Why, yes. I'll tell you all about it. 84 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,173 Sole Brothers? 85 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,142 Yeah, it's the story of Jeffrey Sole 86 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,945 and his identical twin, David Alan Brothers. 87 00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:00,714 They're shoe salesmen who moonlight as detectives. 88 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,717 If they're twin brothers, why do they have different last names? 89 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:04,852 Okay, we're good. No more questions. 90 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:05,953 Sorry. I got to know. 91 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,621 Why the hell is there a genie lamp? 92 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,122 You know what? It's better if I pitch it. 93 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,558 Do not pitch it! Fade in. 94 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,961 Exterior, Arabian Desert. Dead of night. 95 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,863 Camels walking... Yeah, I've heard enough. 96 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,398 Lainey, you're writing about Kwanzaa. 97 00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:20,100 Um, are you sure it should be me? 98 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,270 You know, because I'm, like, you know... 99 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:25,005 And people who celebrate Kwanzaa are, um... 100 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,474 You know, they're, um... 101 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,808 So, you know... (CHUCKLES) 102 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,743 Okay, what is going on with you right now? 103 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,479 Whenever I talk about this kind of thing, I'm just, 104 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,514 you know, like, worried I'm gonna say the wrong thing. 105 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,883 What exactly do you think you're gonna say? 106 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,518 Oh, God! Nothing! 107 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,953 But, yeah, John should take charge. 108 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,154 Kwanzaa's all yours. 109 00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:42,656 Not that I won't be there to support it, 110 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,725 'cause I do support it a lot. 111 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,127 But not too much. I don't want to overstep my bounds. 112 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,396 Just the appropriate amount of supporting. 113 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,497 Lainey. Yes? 114 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,698 Please stop. Stopping. 115 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,566 While I was awkwardly getting into Kwanzaa, 116 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,867 my new roommate, CB, 117 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,403 was getting into the holiday spirit. 118 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,739 Dude! You cleaned my entire place and got me a Christmas tree? 119 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,240 Why do you keep doing stuff like this? 120 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,710 Well, 'cause my place burned down and you took me in rent-free, 121 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,044 and cleaning helps me forget 122 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,347 my place burned down and you took me in rent-free. 123 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,915 Aw, man. If I knew I had a tree, 124 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,550 I wouldn't have opened Barry's gift already. 125 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,684 (IMITATING BARRY'S VOICE) Hi, baby. 126 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,554 I'm fishing you a Merry Christmas. 127 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,856 I've been listening to bad fish puns all day. 128 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,158 Are you sure you want to keep that in a place of prominence? 129 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,960 I am fin love with you. 130 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,495 Yeah. It's just so Barry. 131 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,531 Look! I'm a Barry-cuda. Ha! 132 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,366 You mean loud and intrusive? Stop. 133 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,535 You just have to get to know him, and then you'll see what I see. 134 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,802 Why the fish? 135 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,504 'Cause you've been dropping him hints all month 136 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,373 that you wanted that platypus Beanie Baby. 137 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,775 Eh, it's disappointing, but they're really hard to find, 138 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,410 and this just screams "Barry." 139 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,779 My name's Barry, and I'm a fish! 140 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,748 Come on. Don't make excuses for the guy. 141 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,115 You deserve that Beanie Baby. 142 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,352 Well, my birthday's in a month, so maybe he'll be my hero then 143 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,386 and get me that new Beanie Baby. 144 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,823 Yo, Coop! 145 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:50,991 Hey, man, you got a sec? 146 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,926 I need some help translating this Spanish verse 147 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,962 for my poetry class. Sure! 148 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,398 It's nice to know you want to talk to me about something other than Lainey. 149 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,632 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 150 00:04:58,666 --> 00:04:59,733 So, what's up? 151 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:00,801 It's about Lainey. 152 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,002 Oh, come on, man! 153 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,137 I finally found a way to win her heart. 154 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,272 Beanie Babies. 155 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,207 Please unlock the door. I'm scared. 156 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,542 Just listen for one sec. 157 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,077 Living with Lainey made me realize 158 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,479 how perfect we are for each other, 159 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,582 and once I get her a Patti the Platypus, she'll see it, too. 160 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,149 (SIGHS) Seriously? 161 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,151 You think your way in is a Beanie Baby? 162 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,320 It's not the Beanie itself that wins her over. 163 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,622 It's what the Beanie represents. 164 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,690 Which is? 165 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:23,857 That Barry's all wrong for her. 166 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,025 For some reason, Lainey thinks 167 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,027 that he's some special, amazing guy, when, really, 168 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,029 he's a spazzy goofus who bought her a talking fish. 169 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,297 But not CB. 170 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,400 Just one problem with your plan, though. 171 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,334 No one can get their hands on that platypus. 172 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,003 I can. 173 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,771 There's a Beanie Baby drop going down 174 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,507 in Willow Grove, 8:00 a.m. sharp. 175 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,809 I'm gonna camp out overnight so I can be first in line, 176 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,644 'cause you're gonna cover my last two classes 177 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,012 and run my after-school book club 178 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,815 and then drive Earl Ball home 'cause his Volvo's in the shop 179 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,684 and then, in the morning, just drive him downtown 180 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,152 to pick up said Volvo from the mechanic. 181 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,320 Is that okay? 182 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,589 LAINEY: While CB was hatching his plan to win me over, 183 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:56,724 I gathered up my students 184 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,492 for Glascott's big Kwanzaa announcement. 185 00:05:58,526 --> 00:05:59,960 Okay, we're finally making 186 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,862 this Christmas concert all-inclusive. 187 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,665 That means we now cover the weeklong celebration 188 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,200 of African and African-American culture 189 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,869 known as Kwanzaa. 190 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,170 * Kwanzaa! * 191 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,271 Don't do that. 192 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,440 Kwanzaa. 193 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:14,007 Sounds like a dude from Mortal Kombat. 194 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,142 (BOTH LAUGH) 195 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,209 GLASCOTT: That's enough. 196 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,645 All right. Let's rehearse. 197 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,613 Uh, Felicia, you take the lead in this one. 198 00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,314 But I didn't even raise my hand. 199 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,983 Yep, part's all yours. 200 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,818 I already have a part in the nativity scene. 201 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,554 Which I now give to Marni. 202 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,655 You can't do that. 203 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,857 But I did. It's done. Yay! 204 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,358 * Kwanzaa! * No. 205 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,861 Can we, like, talk in the hall right now? 206 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:34,928 To the hall! 207 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,029 I don't care what you say. 208 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,097 You can't make me do this. 209 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,832 Please! It's really important. 210 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,300 To you, maybe. 211 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,769 But they're just gonna laugh at me. 212 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,471 And that's why it's your job to teach them 213 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,938 what Kwanzaa's all about. 214 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,540 Why is it my job? 215 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,841 I'm in high school. 216 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,342 I just want to fly under the radar 217 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,578 and not embarrass myself. 218 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,780 The fact that you find Kwanzaa so embarrassing 219 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,782 is the exact reason that you're doing this. 220 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,116 But... No buts. 221 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,752 We finally have an all-inclusive holiday show, 222 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,220 and you need to be proud of it. 223 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,723 Oh, you are such a hypocrite. Excuse me? 224 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,925 You're just excited because now it includes us. 225 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,661 What about Reza? You didn't add anything about Diwali. 226 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:08,962 Only 'cause I haven't heard of it 227 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,297 until this very second, 228 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,566 but thank you very much, because now it's in. 229 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,434 You sure you want to take this on? 230 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,137 Squeezing four holidays into one show is gonna be tough. 231 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,372 You think I can't handle four holidays? 232 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:22,543 I have ideas for 16 Sole Brothers sequels. 233 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:25,112 Do not pitch me your lame movie right now! 234 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,514 I mean it! Fade in. 235 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,981 No! Nuclear submarine. 236 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,216 It makes no sense. 237 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,552 We angle on Naval Captain Jeffrey Sole... Stop! 238 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:32,986 Please! Come on! ...and his identical twin brother 239 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,287 David Alan Brothers. 240 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,388 Fine! 241 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:37,290 I will do Kwanzaa. 242 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,260 But mark my words, you will regret it. 243 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,996 Thank you. And I'm choosing to ignore that threat. 244 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,599 And, again, if you would just read the screenplay... (SCOFFS) 245 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:48,135 ...it explains in flashbacks how they can be brothers. 246 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,704 LAINEY: As Glascott got Felicia to join his quest for Kwanzaa, 247 00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,140 CB was ready to battle for my Beanie Baby. 248 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,775 You got this, Chucky. 249 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,810 Get the Beanie, be the hero. 250 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,646 Get the Beanie, be the hero. 251 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,148 (SURVIVOR'S EYE OF THE TIGER PLAYS) (SHOUTING) 252 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,284 Elite athlete coming through, baby! 253 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,986 Rick? (GRUNTS) 254 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,622 (MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS) 255 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:09,790 (SIGHS) 256 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,592 Come back, you animals. 257 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,893 I got you. (GRUNTS) 258 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,161 Thank you. 259 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,663 Rick, what are you even doing here? 260 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,130 Coop told me you were camped out in line, 261 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,600 which reminded me I had to snag a Christmas present for Toby. 262 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,968 But I waited all night. 263 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,136 How do you arrive last and then beat everyone? 264 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,972 Took years of hard work, CB. 265 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,506 You see, when I was but a boy, 266 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,142 I wandered into my local gym for the first time. 267 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,343 There, I saw... Yeah, I don't need to hear the whole story. 268 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,145 Please tell me you grabbed a spare platypus. 269 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,047 Oh, Toby's over Beanie Babies. 270 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,983 Instead, I got him this bad boy. 271 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,518 Turbo Man? (CHUCKLING) The hell is that? 272 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:41,054 Only the coolest action figure of the year, 273 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:43,691 as seen in the upcoming holiday hit "Jingle All the Way." 274 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,958 Yeah, I don't know about that, man. 275 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,159 Hello? 276 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,295 It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. 277 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,630 Okay, forget about Turbo Man. 278 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,665 I need your freakishly fast roadrunner legs 279 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:53,767 to get me that Beanie Baby when the new shipment arrives. 280 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,603 You want me to come back to this madhouse? 281 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,305 Here. Just take a Turbo Man. There's a shocking amount left. 282 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,073 I don't want Turbo Man. 283 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,209 What about Lieutenant Dan Taylor from "Forrest Gump?" 284 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,476 No. 285 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,079 "Cape Fear" fun for all ages. No. 286 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,148 "Can't Hardly Wait," Seth Green? 287 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,482 Again, no! 288 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:10,784 "Troll 2?" Seriously? 289 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,085 "Ghost?" 290 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,154 "Get off my train!" Who makes these? 291 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,624 (AS MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY) "Alright, alright, alright." 292 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,225 Okay, please stop. 293 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,027 It's got to be Patti the Platypus, okay? 294 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,561 I thought you hated Beanie Babies. 295 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,063 Okay, truth be told? 296 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,497 I'm doing it for love. 297 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,666 Love? 298 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,801 I love love. 299 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,069 This changes everything. 300 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,503 Okay, this might sound crazy, 301 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,172 but if I get her this Beanie Baby, 302 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,441 maybe she'll see that I'm the one who can make her happy. 303 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,243 It is crazy. 304 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,578 But so is love. Let's do this. 305 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,347 LAINEY: The next day, Mellor and CB waited 306 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,649 for another shot at Patti the Platty, 307 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,216 all in the name of love. 308 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,352 Oh, God. There's a bigger crowd here than yesterday. 309 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,554 Are you sure you can outrun all these people? 310 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,757 CB, look at me. 311 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,025 I'm gonna get you that bag of beans, 312 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,862 and nothing, nothing is gonna stand in my way. 313 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:55,929 Okay. 314 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,030 What the... 315 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,098 Barry? 316 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,635 Hey! It's Coach and BJ! 317 00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:07,540 LAINEY: Thanks to Felicia's defiance, our Christmas concert 318 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:08,909 was about to add a few more holidays. 319 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,279 Okay, good news. Diwali has also been added 320 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:15,015 into our all-inclusive holiday show. 321 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,249 Sounds good, Reza? 322 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,384 Okay. 323 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,786 * Diwali * 324 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,253 Why don't you take a walk? 325 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,855 Walking. Right. 326 00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,323 Okay. So, we're good. 327 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,793 We got a little Kwanzaa, we got some Diwali. 328 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,095 (CHUCKLES) This is gonna be the best holiday show ever. 329 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,429 Uncle J? 330 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,198 I actually did some Internet surfing, 331 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,500 and we are far from all-inclusive. 332 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:37,204 Which is why I have a list of other holidays, like, uh... 333 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:41,241 The Feast of Seven Fishes, St. Lucia, Boxing Day. 334 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,410 (CHUCKLING) Boxing Day. Awesome. I love "Rocky." 335 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,878 (AS SYLVESTER STALLONE) "Yo, Adrian." 336 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,914 (AS STALLONE) Yo, Ronnie! Consider all of it in! 337 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,081 What about Krampus? 338 00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,149 (NORMAL VOICE) What is a Krampus? 339 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,650 He's, like, this half-goat demon 340 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,585 that punishes misfit children during the holiday season. 341 00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,087 So badass. 342 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,655 If we're doing Krampus, then I want the Yule Cat. 343 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,758 Yule wha? My Grammy's from Iceland, 344 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,259 and that's her favorite holiday story. 345 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,994 The Yule Cat eats kids who haven't received 346 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,896 any new clothes to wear before Christmas Eve. 347 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,898 Okay, sounds unnecessarily punitive, 348 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,934 but tell Granny it's in. 349 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:10,103 Ooh! Uh, can we add in Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us? 350 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,005 No! That's from "Seinfeld." 351 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,173 No, it's real now. 352 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,475 My dad makes us gather around the Festivus pole 353 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,944 for the airing of grievances. 354 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,378 This sounds like a lot of work. 355 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,080 Why don't we just go back to the original play? 356 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,448 Okay, I see what you're doing. 357 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,984 You're suggesting a bunch of lame-butt holidays 358 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,452 so I'll give up on Kwanzaa. 359 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,721 Did you just call Diwali a lame-butt holiday? 360 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:30,157 No, no, no! They're all equally big in the butt department. 361 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,293 Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and Diwali 362 00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,128 and the demon-goat thing 363 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:39,266 and your granny's Icelandic snow cat who eats naked kids. 364 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,500 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 365 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,502 Okay. Is that the bell? Well... 366 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,671 Good luck, Uncle J. 367 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,106 LAINEY: While Felicia turned Kwanzaa 368 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,941 into an avalanche of holidays for Glascott, 369 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,676 CB faced his own disaster. 370 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,811 Why are you here? 371 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,712 To buy a Christmas present for Lainey. 372 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,014 It's a platypus. 373 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,282 What about the Barry-cuda? 374 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:59,019 Decoy. Only problem is, Detroit loves their Beanie Babies, 375 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,653 and they're all tapped out. 376 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,756 Luckily, my lazy-eyed nerd brother, Adam, 377 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:05,993 says this store always has the goods. 378 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,194 Wow. That's so weird. 379 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,162 That platypus is the exact same Beanie Baby 380 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,397 I'm here to get for CB. 381 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,499 It's not weird. It's actually very normal. 382 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,534 Can you be a pal and sit this one out? 383 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,836 I'm doing this for love. 384 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:18,872 Again, so weird, because CB is also doing it for love. 385 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,008 You know what? We don't have to talk about it anymore. 386 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,876 In fact, you know what? We should go. Go? 387 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,878 But you said this Beanie Baby is the only way to get 388 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,380 the girl you love to realize she's dating the wrong person. 389 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,515 Aw, man! 390 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,850 She's got a boyfriend? 391 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:30,951 Please don't root for me. 392 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,219 Sounds like a total dingus. 393 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,321 Hey, guys, can we open that (BLEEP) gate? 394 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,156 (EYE OF THE TIGER PLAYS) MELLOR: It's go time! 395 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,690 Go, go, go, go. Go, go. 396 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,792 Run, Rick, run! 397 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,160 (MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS) 398 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,162 (SCREAMS) My unbreakable ankle! 399 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,330 We need a doctor! 400 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,631 Incoming stat! 401 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,633 Leave me! Go get your Patti the Platty! 402 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,936 Your ankle's swelling! I've got to get you to the ER! 403 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,537 (GRUNTS) Sneaky strong. 404 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,272 Make way! 405 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,042 I've got an injured American gym teacher! 406 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,510 I'm helping, too. I have his shoe. 407 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,513 LAINEY: While Coach was in bad shape, Glascott and Wilma came to see 408 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,582 how the all-inclusive holiday show was shaping up. 409 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,885 * Jingle bells, jingle bells 410 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,987 * Jingle all the way * 411 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,788 * Seven days of Kwanzaa 412 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,723 * Kwanzaa, eh * 413 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:14,127 * Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay 414 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,797 * Diwali's here for five great nights * 415 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,300 (TO TUNE OF EYE OF THE TIGER) * Box, Boxing Day 416 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,102 * A day to box 417 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,272 * Boxing Day 418 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:29,542 * It's the day of the boxing, it's the Boxing Day 419 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:33,080 * But it's not the Rocky kind of boxing 420 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,415 What's the deal with Festivus? 421 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,817 * It's when lords give their servants 422 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,552 * New, shiny gifts 423 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:43,756 * In a box on a day, so it's called 424 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,326 * Day of boxing * 425 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:50,663 All hail Krampus, horned king of holiday darkness! 426 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:53,566 While Glascott realized he may have wrecked the holiday show, 427 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,869 CB was hoping Mellor's ankle wasn't wrecked. 428 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:58,571 I don't know why, but I feel like this is partially my fault. 429 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,773 Maybe you feel that way because every part of this is your fault! 430 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,610 I need a new ankle because you wanted a bean-filled platypus. 431 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,145 I would never even have asked 432 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,980 if I'd known that Barry was gonna be there, 433 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,348 getting the same darn Beanie Baby 434 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,382 for the same darn girl. 435 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,618 Wait, what? What? 436 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,120 Darn girl who? Who? What? 437 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,988 Lainey who. Lainey who, what? 438 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,189 You know who, what! 439 00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:17,824 Are you telling me I need a new ankle 440 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,993 because you wanted to break up my friend and the love of her life? 441 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,195 (STAMMERS) Yes. 442 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,330 What is wrong with you? 443 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,864 Lainey would never leave Barry. 444 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,166 That dude's the best. 445 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,601 Yeah, well, everyone says that, but I just don't see it. 446 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:29,970 Well, you gotta get to know him! 447 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,071 I do know him. 448 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,906 He's immature and clueless and dopey, 449 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,142 and, honestly, I don't even understand 450 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,044 how that assclown became a doctor. 451 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,913 Good news, Coach. Took a peek at your file. 452 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,682 Seems like the doctor on call thought he saw a fracture, 453 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,151 but the cortices are intact, 454 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,286 so it's just a ligamentous problem. 455 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,356 Okay. Those are the words of a very skilled doctor. 456 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,890 I know. 457 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,193 You probably think I'm just some clueless, dopey assclown. 458 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,728 (CHUCKLING) What? No. 459 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,498 My whole life, I always made a bad first impression. 460 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,333 I get nervous around new people, 461 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,335 and then I overcompensate 462 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,838 by calling myself Big Tasty and rap and nunchuck. 463 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,374 This is all very self-aware. 464 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,741 All thanks to Lainey. 465 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,478 She's the first person I could be myself around. 466 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,947 But now that we went through this together, 467 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,382 we're bros. 468 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,517 Now you get to see the real me. 469 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,052 He good. I like. 470 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,387 Thanks, CB. 471 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,056 Anyway, it's just a bad sprain. No need for surgery. 472 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,058 Sweet Lord, you saved my ankle's life! 473 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,360 My ankle will never forget this kindness, Doc Barry. 474 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,928 Here. 475 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,263 For the patient's helper. 476 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,365 I'll go get you discharged. 477 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,600 You were saying? 478 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,103 (INHALES DEEPLY) I see it now. 479 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,438 That amazing bastard is the best guy ever. 480 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,040 Why didn't you just tell me this was about Lainey? 481 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,841 You could've avoided this whole mess. 482 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:45,245 I'm sorry. I guess I just wanted to believe that I had a shot. 483 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,679 But I get it now. 484 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,822 LAINEY: As Glascott was making some last-minute changes 485 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,125 to his show, I had a few of my own. 486 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,227 Okay, I stayed up all night writing a few songs, 487 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,129 but we're good to go on Australian Christmas. 488 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,530 Australian what's happening? 489 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,631 You didn't hear? 490 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,266 Ronnie's super upset 491 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,934 'cause we so cruelly left out the holiday of his people. 492 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,270 Ronnie's from South Philly, and his parents own a hoagie shop. 493 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,871 There's no way he's Australian. 494 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,273 Not to mention, Australian Christmas 495 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,974 is just Christmas. 496 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,776 Classic Wilma, so closed-minded. 497 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,545 Thankfully, Felicia came directly to me 498 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:19,612 so I could address the issue. 499 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,481 Felicia? Okay, wait. 500 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,017 No, she's right. I'm super closed-minded. 501 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,552 Please tell me all about 502 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,620 how they celebrate the holidays down under. 503 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,822 Legend tells tale of Kangy Dundee, 504 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,025 the magical kangaroo who hops into town, 505 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,494 bringing with him a pouch full of fresh shrimps off the barbie 506 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,163 to give to all the good boys and girls. 507 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,797 And if you're naughty? Then you get cold Vegemite 508 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,199 with nary a cracker to spread it on. 509 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,467 (PITCH PIPE BLOWS) 510 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,036 * They call him Kangy, Kangy Dundee... * 511 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,937 Stop. Just stop. 512 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,806 Felicia was messing with you to get at me. 513 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,275 How could you not know this? 514 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,977 'Cause, I'm open-minded to all races and cultures, 515 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,779 and I'm very bad at this, John! 516 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,414 So bad! 517 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,216 Shame on you. 518 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,151 Playing on Lainey's desperate need 519 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,121 to not be looked at as an intolerant white lady. 520 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,190 Yeah! You were supposed to give up when I said Boxing Day, 521 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,524 but you refused to back down. 522 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,825 'Cause this is important. 523 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,794 I know you want to fly under the radar, 524 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,829 but you can't live your life like that. 525 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,531 Why not? That's why. 526 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,699 Your grad-school degree? 527 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:13,866 Do you notice anything? 528 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,635 It says your name is...Andre? 529 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:16,936 Exactly. 530 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,505 When I went to Vassar, our program only had 531 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,140 two black grad students in it... 532 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,942 John Glascott and Andre Jones. 533 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,411 Let's just say people got us confused. 534 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,712 A lot. 535 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,414 It felt easier to just laugh it off 536 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,548 than to speak up. 537 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,383 But soon enough, everyone actually thought 538 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,984 that my name was Andre, 539 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,686 even my professors 540 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,388 who wrote my recommendation to work here. 541 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,056 Wait. 542 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,526 You mean everyone here thought your name was Andre? 543 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,827 Only for 12 years. 544 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,495 Then one day, I snapped. 545 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,331 My name is not Andre. 546 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,266 (VOICE BREAKING) My name is Jonathan! 547 00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,335 And I love you, Lunch Lady Bernice! 548 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,837 That day kick-started a whirlwind two weeks 549 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,872 with a woman that I was not ready for. 550 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,274 While this is a bummer story, 551 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,908 what exactly does it have to do with me? 552 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:59,011 Because I want you to stand up and be proud of who you are, 553 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,281 not laugh it off and fly under the radar, 554 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,549 like I did. 555 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,551 That makes sense. 556 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,752 Well, doesn't matter now. 557 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,820 We're going back to our old Christmas concert, 558 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,823 because our all-inclusive show is a disaster. 559 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,260 (YOU GOTTA BE PLAYS) 560 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,228 Maybe we can still give it a shot. 561 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,897 Just, with a tad less "Rocky" and puffy Seinfeld shirts. 562 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,233 It's fine. You don't have to do Kwanzaa for me. 563 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,468 I'm not. 564 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,403 Look, I didn't want to stand out, 565 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,373 but if that leads to me losing a part of myself, 566 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:27,774 I'm not gonna let that happen. 567 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,310 And I'm also part of the problem 568 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:33,012 when I get all awkward talking about this stuff. 569 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,113 No more, sista. 570 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,215 Don't. No. 571 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,317 Let's go spread some holiday cheer, huh? 572 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,652 Yeah. 573 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:44,557 * Try and keep your head up to the sky 574 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,093 * Lovers, they may cause you tears 575 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,862 * Go ahead, release your fears 576 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,631 * Stand up and be counted 577 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,933 * Don't be ashamed to cry 578 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,335 * You gotta be... * 579 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,237 LAINEY: That night, we put on the best holiday show 580 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,906 the school had ever seen. 581 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,274 Even though the idea was 582 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,476 for everyone to learn about our holidays, 583 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,012 we all ended up learning something more important. 584 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,616 When you set aside your differences 585 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,352 and learn to embrace them, you can accomplish anything. 586 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,154 * All I know is, love will save the day 587 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:17,890 * Herald what your mother said * 588 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,227 Here ya go. Fresh from the oven. 589 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:23,062 I'm gonna get out of here, give you guys some alone time. 590 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,531 You sure you don't want to hang? 591 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,366 No. No, you, you two have fun. 592 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,535 You got some presents to open, I see. 593 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,704 Is this what I think it is? 594 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,340 Uh, I hope so. 595 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,378 Oh, my God! 596 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:39,612 How did you find this? 597 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,681 I.... 598 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:42,782 He waited all night 599 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,451 at the Willow Grove Mall to get one. 600 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:45,685 You were right. 601 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,720 He really is the best, once you get to know him. 602 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,089 Thank you. 603 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,925 LAINEY: Sometimes in life, you have to make big sacrifices, 604 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,261 even if it means letting go 605 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,129 of the people who mean the most to you. 606 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,098 But in the end, the people you love most 607 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,367 will always know you care. 608 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,401 Hey, CB? 609 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,135 Yeah? 610 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,203 Thank you. 611 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,338 For what? 612 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,039 For tracking down that Beanie Baby. 613 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,575 Oh. No. 614 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:11,010 That was all Barry. 615 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,145 He really would do anything for you. 616 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,947 I know. 617 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,516 Merry Christmas, Lainey Lewis. 618 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,819 Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. 619 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,422 * You gotta be wiser 620 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,325 * You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough * 621 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,329 Let me open it. I'm in the Christmas spirit. 622 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,531 Look, he got me sand darts! 623 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,434 WOMAN: These are the Furbys! 624 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,536 Connect Four. Thank you! 625 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,841 BARRY: Who's this Lainey Lewis I've been herring about? 626 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,877 She's the gill of my dreams. 627 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:48,615 Every day, I thank cod I met someone like you. 628 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:49,949 * Oh, my marlin 629 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,352 * Oh, my marlin 630 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:55,722 * Oh, my marlin Lainey Lewis* 631 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,890 Gah! Yeah, this one sucks. 632 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,861 I'm so lovesick that I need to see a heart sturgeon. 633 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,363 I just want to say I love you. 634 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:04,797 Why? For the halibut. 635 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:07,900 I have such strong eelings of love for you. 636 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:08,968 Eel. Get it? 637 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,236 It's the snake of the sea. 638 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,571 Let me do this over. 639 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,406 How do you stop recording on this thing? 640 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,975 Damn it, it won't turn off! 641 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,577 I think he's done. 642 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,546 Babe, my love for you is more delicious 643 00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:21,714 than a nicely grilled branzino. 644 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,383 It's a mild white fish.