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LAINEY: Back in the '90s,
dating-themed TV game shows

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00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:05,744
hit a peak
like never before.

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00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:07,485
Shows likeBlind Date,
Studs,

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00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,661
Personals
ruled the airwaves,

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00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,794
at least between
midnight and 2:00 a.m.

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00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:14,231
But the king of them all
was the monster hit
Singled Out,

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and there was
no bigger fan of the show

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00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,018
than our own
Principal Glascott.

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All right, everybody.

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00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,673
I've got big
Valentine's Day news.

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00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:24,502
We are gonna put on our own
version of Singled Out.

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00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:25,590
That MTV dating show?

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Exactly.

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With us teachers
as the contestants.

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It'll be for charity,
and the students will love it.

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00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,336
Oh, Barry's coming
for Valentine's Day.

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I'm pretty sure
he'll want to play

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'cause he's
super competitive.

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It's often unhealthy.

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In a supreme act
of chivalry,

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I say my love Julie
must bow out of this.

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The idea of dozens of men
vying for her hand
sickens her.

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I'm fine with it.

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Trying to be so brave,
but it's tearing her
up inside.

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It's not.

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Love demands that
I remove Julie
from this contest.

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For her sanity.

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I am good with whatever
you need me to do, John,

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and Rick's
fine with it, too.

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GLASCOTT: Thank you.

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And I thought
that our own Wilma Howell

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would serve
as our bachelorette.

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You? Selecting from
50 bachelors? Yowza!

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No. Pass.

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Is there romance in the air
for Wilma?

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This is weird
and out of bounds.

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It'll be fun. Just do it.

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Yeah, no.
Please.

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No, no, no.
Do it.

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No.
Come on.

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Fine.
If it'll end this.

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All right. She loves it.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.

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And for William Penn's
saucy former Playmate
sidekick, Jenny McCarthy?

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Choice is pretty obvious.

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Liz Flemming.

46
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Oh, Liz is actually
in Upstate New York
showing her dogs...

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Not competitively,
just around.

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00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,527
Oh, okay. Well, I guess
we could use Lainey.

49
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Oh, so,
I'm second choice?

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Do you want the job, or...

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No, I'll do it.
Great.

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So, that only leaves
selecting the host.

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We need someone that is
camera-ready, charismatic,

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really comfortable
in front of a crowd.

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How about
Johnny Atkins?

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Yes! My big break!

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Hollywood, here I come.

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Hey, what a great idea, CB,
to have Johnny do it.

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So, I guess we're all set,
then, right? [CHUCKLES]

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Oh, Johnny,
I have one question.

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Do you have your own
game-show microphone?

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Uh, no.

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Oh, that's too bad,
because...

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I do! [LAUGHS]

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00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:06,909
♪ One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here

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♪ Live your life
and finally be free

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♪ Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do

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♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪

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LAINEY: It was February 12th, 1990-something,

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and it had been a week
since I'd found out

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CB had more-than-friend
feelings for me,

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which had me feeling
a little uneasy.

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Why are you
crab-walking

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00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,017
around the cafeteria
like you're Sebastian?

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I'm trying to avoid CB,
which I wouldn't have to do

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if you hadn't told me
he has a crush on me.

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I did? Wow.

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What Mr. Granger said

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00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:35,938
while he was stealing
office supplies is true...

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I am no good
at keeping secrets.

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See?
I just did it again.

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I just don't want to hurt
CB's feelings.

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But I guess
since he doesn't
know that I know,

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all I have to do
is play it cool,

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and everything
will be normal.

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Hey, Lainey.

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[THUD]
Ooh, Lainey.

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You broke my heart.

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What?
I didn't even know!

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Uh, i-if I did,
I didn't do it
on purpose.

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It's okay.
It's just a cookie.

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Right.
Obviously. Duh.

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[CHUCKLES] That's...
[LAUGHS]

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That's funny.
That's a funny cookie.

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Happy Valentine's Day.

96
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,272
Um, are you okay?

97
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,099
You're acting weird.
Me? No.

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00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,276
Anyway, thank you
for the nice cookie
friend gift. Mm.

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Cool and normal...
Check and check.

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You be quiet.
I just wasn't prepared.

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But now I can just behave
the same as normal,

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and our friendship
won't change.

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Since that knowledge

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is in the prefrontal cortex
of your brain,

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you will not be
able to behave
as if you didn't know.

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It's science.
Yeah?

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Well, I have my doubts
about this "science"
you speak of.

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You can't doubt science.

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Oh, I doubt it, all right.
I doubt it all over.

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I will prove
your science wrong.

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Then the challenge is on!
Science is gonna waste ya!

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You got a little scary.

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You come for science,
you come for me.

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LAINEY: As the challenge
was on between Wilma and me,

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Glascott was getting some
pushback of his own.

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So, game show host-wise,
I was thinking of going

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with a modern
Richard Dawson vibe.

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What do you think?

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I think no kids
will be paying attention.

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Hm.

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Uhp, gotta go.

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Well, thanks
for playing our game!

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[CHUCKLES]

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Felicia feeling
any better?

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She's doing just great.

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What makes you think
she's not?

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She missed PE.

128
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,760
Oh, that's weird.
Felicia loves PE.

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This is the fifth class
she's missed

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for medical reasons.

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I didn't know
she was sick.How could you not?

132
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You're the one who signed
all her excuse notes.

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This does look
like my handwriting,

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but somehow better.

135
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Forging signatures,
often the first step

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in a life of crime...

137
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,210
Or light
secretarial work.

138
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,865
I love how she crosses
the T's in "Glascott"
with one line

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and then curls it under.

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It's bold yet refined.

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'Tis.

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Hey, do you mind
if I keep it?

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I'm gonna
get my rubber stamps
made just like this.

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Have at it,

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but if your niece misses
one more swim class,

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I may have to fail her
for the semester.

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Wait.
She's skipping swim class?

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I think I know
what's going on.

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The recurring "medical" issue
is probably a womanly issue

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that she's too embarrassed
to talk about.

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00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,582
It's... It's her, uh...

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It's her uteroshmmhmmm.

153
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,283
Her "uteroshmmhmmm"?

154
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,893
What's her uteroshmmhmmm?

155
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,287
Her perioushmmhmmhmmhmm.

156
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I don't know
how to make it
any more clear.

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Oh, that!

158
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She needs guidance.

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Can't she talk to her mom
about that stuff

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or any lady she sees in
the street that's not us?

161
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Come on, Rick.
My sister's working two jobs.

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Her plate is full.

163
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We can handle this.
We're evolved.

164
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,389
Well, to be honest with you,
I'm still a little unclear

165
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about some of the nuts
and bolts down there.

166
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Well, it's a good thing
that I'm emotionally equipped

167
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,829
to handle
delicate feminine topics.

168
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:10,048
In fact, I just talked to
my secretary, Martha,

169
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about menopause

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and gently guided her into
the quiet winter of her life.

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LAINEY: Glascott was willing
to have an uncomfortable talk
with his niece,

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and I was
proving to Wilma

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that things between CB and I had never been more pleasant.

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Oh, hello, CB.
And how are you today?

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I am fine.
I'm fine, as well.

176
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Oh, I brought you
one of my Snapples

177
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:28,240
from the teachers' lounge
fridge,

178
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,111
and I would be
happy to share,

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00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,547
as I always do
with you.

180
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Thanks, but I'm more
into brewed tea now.

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Gently steeped
young leaves

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paired with
riveting conversation?

183
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,511
Nothing better.

184
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,034
I got something
to show you.

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00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,252
See? Couldn't
be more normal.[DRAWER OPENS]

186
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,384
Yeah, it's early.

187
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,081
Check out
my new tea ball.

188
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:46,302
Tea Spectatorsays
it's perfect for
brewing oolong,

189
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,564
which is kind of my jam
these days.

190
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,566
I had been dabbling
in rooibos,

191
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,221
but the subtle
mouth feeling
of oolong...

192
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:55,180
Now I know why
they call it "ooo" long.

193
00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,573
[CHUCKLES]

194
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,749
This is the guy
you want to stay friends with?

195
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:01,230
Lainey likes
a nice Earl Grey.

196
00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:02,579
Does she occasionally
enjoy chamomile?

197
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:03,667
Yes, she does.

198
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,321
Let's go grab
a cup of tea later

199
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,627
in the same manner
as we often do.

200
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,280
Oh, I was hoping to see
the movie Babe

201
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,456
before
it leaves theaters.

202
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,806
The pig movie?
That looks adorable!

203
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,808
And since we're such
good friends,
how 'bout I join you?

204
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,418
Oh, sure, yeah,
if you'd like.

205
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,898
In fact, let's grab
a bite after...

206
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:17,986
Two friends
discussing a film.

207
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,857
Sounds good.

208
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,077
Wilma, can I use
a Bunsen burner
in your classroom?

209
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,731
My electric teapot's
on the fritz.

210
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:24,906
I don't get the whole
tea thing, but sure.

211
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:25,776
Oh! Thank you.

212
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,345
See? What'd I tell you?

213
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,130
Lainey, one,
science, zippo.

214
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:34,568
Despite knowing,
just like I said I would,
I behaved totally normal.

215
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,265
What I saw was you
just totally

216
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:37,788
normally asked CB
out on a date.

217
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,224
What? No!

218
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,531
We're going, uh, to a movie
and then dinner and...

219
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:42,793
Oh, my God.
We're going on a date.

220
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:45,143
Yep, I had made things way
weirder between CB and I.

221
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,580
As for Glascott,

222
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,625
he took a totally normal
approach with Felicia.

223
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:49,844
I hope you didn't
bring me in here

224
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,847
to look at more clothes
for your Singled Out...

225
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:53,630
Oh, no.

226
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,852
Coach Mellor told me
that you've been
skipping swim class.

227
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,245
Oh, my God.

228
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,160
It's okay.
I'm here for you.

229
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:03,858
And so are these.
[CHUCKLES]

230
00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:06,730
I didn't know
which ones to get.
There's so many.

231
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:09,646
There's max flow
and wings, overnight.

232
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,648
But it's not like
you're gonna be sleeping
in the swimming pool.

233
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:12,736
That would be crazy.

234
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,869
Seriously,
just stop talking.

235
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,175
I tried to find
"sport cut,"
but apparently,

236
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:19,308
Playtex has not cracked
that nut yet.

237
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,440
But you know what?

238
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:21,658
With a little creativity,

239
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,268
you and I could get
a pair of scissors

240
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,574
and sort of create
a new s...

241
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,358
Uncle John, you can't
wear pads in a pool.

242
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:27,795
Well,
that's good to know.

243
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:29,492
My period is not
why I don't want
to do swimming.

244
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:30,754
Then what's the problem?

245
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,800
I hate putting on
the swimsuit, okay?

246
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,193
All the other girls
in my class
are like half my size,

247
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,021
and it just makes
me feel self-conscious
and gross and...

248
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:38,414
Ugh!

249
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,329
Please, can we just stop
talking about this?

250
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,592
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize
you felt this way.

251
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:43,724
But that's crazy.

252
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,334
You are perfect
just the way you are.

253
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,814
You're my uncle.
You have to say that.

254
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,599
But I know what I see
when I look in the mirror.

255
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:54,822
♪♪

256
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,215
I should not have
used the receipt
to throw away my gum.

257
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:02,046
LAINEY: I had accidentally asked CB out on a friend date,

258
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,484
but the universe kept trying
to make it more romantic.

259
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,790
Again, I'm sorry the movie
Babewas sold out,

260
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,227
but I thought Eyes Wide Shut
was an interesting film.

261
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,664
Yeah, no pigs
in that one.

262
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,014
Some people live
really sexy lives, I guess.Mm.

263
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,406
Good evening.

264
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,626
Welcome to
Bistro De L'Amore.

265
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,629
Oh! Je suisCB.

266
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,805
I'm sorry. Is this not
a TGI Fridays anymore?

267
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,113
It was,
then a Houlihan's
and a Sbarro,

268
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,245
then a laser-tag place,

269
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:30,771
and now the most
romantic dining experience
in Jenkintown.

270
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,512
Mm. Of course it is.

271
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,731
Seriously? Two people are
supposed to fit in there?

272
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,341
Come on.
Calm down.

273
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:37,299
We... We can
squeeze in.

274
00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:38,648
I may just stand.

275
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:39,780
Really?
Yes.

276
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:42,391
It is actually better
for your digestion.

277
00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,436
Your whole deal
just lines right up.

278
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,960
You know,
you've been kind of
acting weird all day,

279
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,222
and I think I know
what it is.

280
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,963
You do?
Yes.

281
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:49,703
Please sit.

282
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:57,362
Um, I think you know
that I kind of maybe
had a crush on you.

283
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,581
Oh. Well...

284
00:08:58,625 --> 00:08:59,800
No, but it's okay.

285
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,845
I'm moving on now,
I got my own place,

286
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,543
you and Barry
are great together,

287
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,546
and...it's all good
between us, right?

288
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,156
Yes. It's all good
between us.

289
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:11,855
Okay, good, 'cause
I really didn't want
to ruin this friendship.

290
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:14,466
I was dumb to think
that I could act normal
and hide it,

291
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,207
but y-you can't
act normal.

292
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,513
It's gonna affect
your behavior.

293
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,297
Everyone knows that.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

294
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,472
Everyone knows that.

295
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:21,909
It's science.
Yes.

296
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:24,259
♪♪

297
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,565
So, I talked to my niece.

298
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:26,957
You get her period
all squared away?

299
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,045
'Cause we're starting
water polo,

300
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,394
and I need gals
with reach.

301
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,092
Turns out
it wasn't about that.

302
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,703
She's at that age
where she's uncomfortable
with her body.

303
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:34,835
She's really down.

304
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,401
I've never seen her
like this before.

305
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,012
Time to do things my way,

306
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:41,450
and that's to get her active,
get her endorphins flowing.

307
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,278
Then she'll feel good
about her body again.

308
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,714
I think
this is a good idea,

309
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:47,238
and I'm gonna join you
to support Felicia,

310
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,284
and to tone up
for my big debut

311
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,286
as the host of
Singled Out!

312
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,549
Yeah,
I'm still not playing.You sure about that?

313
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,116
The winner receives
a year's supply

314
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,118
of feminine hygiene
products.

315
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:58,554
I'm not playing
even more now.

316
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:01,731
Circuit training?
Really?

317
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,951
Eighteen stations
of nonstop fun.

318
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:05,474
I'm afraid so, Felicia.

319
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:08,042
Coach Mellor's
letting you do this
to earn extra credit

320
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,696
so that you don't
fail PE.

321
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,698
And I'm gonna
do it with you.

322
00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:14,265
Let's rock and roll!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

323
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:15,832
Ab blasters!

324
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,834
[EXHALES DEEPLY]

325
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,444
[STRAINING] I should not
have started the day

326
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,316
with that crab cake
omelet! Ugh!

327
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,144
Let's go, let's go!
Crunch it up!

328
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,885
Let's do
some frog squats.

329
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,060
Low.

330
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,149
Kick it out. Bang!
[GRUNTS]

331
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:30,281
My God.

332
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,327
Frogs must be in
constant pain.

333
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,677
Felicia, you work out
like an athlete
at the top of her game,

334
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,548
and I can say
with authority

335
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:39,551
that, physically,
you have nothing
to be insecure about.

336
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:40,988
Look forward to seeing you
at the pool tomorrow.

337
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,859
You guys
just don't get it.

338
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:44,774
I know I'm fit,
but I still don't
want to be seen

339
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,167
in a bathing suit, okay?

340
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,169
Why? Are people saying
mean things to you?

341
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:49,387
They don't have to.

342
00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:51,694
I say enough mean things
to myself.

343
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,000
LAINEY: That's when
they realized

344
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,655
sometimes body issues aren't about the body at all.

345
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,265
So, what do we do now?

346
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,919
Maybe something
will come to me
while I'm throwing up.

347
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,704
Wilma, you were right.

348
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,532
I know. About what?

349
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:04,968
About the brain's
prefrontal cornhole.

350
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,578
If something's in it,
you cannot hide it.

351
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,580
That's cortex,
and also, I told you so.

352
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:10,452
Don't mess with science.

353
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:11,888
So, you told CB you know?

354
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,977
No. He thought
I was acting weird

355
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,109
because he was
acting weird

356
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,327
when he was staying
at my place

357
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,808
because liking me was
in his prefrontal cortex.

358
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,592
Anyway, it all came out.

359
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:21,768
Wow, that must've
been awkward.

360
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,160
No, it was
actually great.

361
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,553
Ooh. Science twist.

362
00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:26,555
Once everything was
out in the open,
we were able to relax

363
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,296
and enjoy
a really nice dinner.Mm-hmm.

364
00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,646
We had a couple
bottles of wine,
we laughed a ton.

365
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,169
Mm-hmm.
We must've lost
track of time,

366
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,475
'cause next thing you knew,
it was 1:00 a.m.

367
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:34,868
and they were
kicking us out.

368
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,043
Man, I haven't had fun
like that in a long time.

369
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,827
Mm-hmm!

370
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,133
Wait. Why was that
"mm-hmm" different?

371
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,351
It wasn't different.
Oh, it was different.

372
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,831
Look, I don't know
what you're implying,

373
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,051
but you can just drop it,
'cause things are good
and back to normal.

374
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,617
Are they, though?
Yes!

375
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,315
CB and I are back
to being friends.

376
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,099
Are you, though?
Of course.

377
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,885
And Barry is clearly
the one for me.Is he, though?

378
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,191
Just say what you're implying
with your vague questions.

379
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,237
All I'm saying is
Barry lives far away

380
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,629
and you hardly ever
see each other.

381
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,806
I'm not questioning
how you feel,

382
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,068
but a long-distance
situation

383
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:02,896
can make it tough
for a relationship to grow.

384
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:07,378
Is it possible it might be
holding you back?

385
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,032
From what,
being with CB?Maybe.

386
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,731
Or maybe just from exploring
and experiencing things

387
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:13,341
that are right here
in the present.

388
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:14,777
Why are you doing this?
Doing what?

389
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,083
You asked me
to say things.

390
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,911
Yeah, but I meant
different things!

391
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,393
First I got to be in
the dumb game show,
now this.

392
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,178
LAINEY: Determined to make
Felicia feel better,

393
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,049
Glascott came up with
a plan to show Felicia

394
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,964
she wasn't the only one
with insecurities.

395
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:31,185
Oh, Felicia.
Fancy running
into you here.

396
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,839
In the cafeteria
at lunchtime,

397
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,405
where all students
are required to be?

398
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,798
Someone's been reading
the student handbook.

399
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,669
[LAUGHS]

400
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:39,802
Anyhoo,
Coop was just telling me

401
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,848
he's insecure
because he can't read.

402
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:44,067
No, I-I said I was
an early reader.

403
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:46,069
And the kids,
they would call me

404
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:49,072
very hurtful,
hurtful names...Mm. Mm.

405
00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:51,553
...bookworm, Poindexter...
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

406
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,294
...Literate Larry.

407
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,687
Point is, it made you feel
so bad, you learned
how to read.

408
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:56,776
Come on, man.
I ju...

409
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:57,994
I'm sorry.

410
00:12:58,038 --> 00:12:59,866
Is this a conversation
about feeling bad?

411
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,432
Why, yes, it is, CB.

412
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,391
Do you, by chance,
have anything to add?

413
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,219
Do I ever.

414
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,221
I'd love to talk to someone
about my weird ankles.

415
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,744
They make me feel less than.

416
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,093
GLASCOTT: Ohh.
CB: You know?

417
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,879
People are always saying,
"CB, your ankles
are perfectly fine,"

418
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,271
but that's not
how I see it.Mm-hmm. Mm.

419
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:16,230
It's the great shame
at the end of my legs.

420
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:17,927
I know what you're doing,
Uncle J.

421
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,624
We talking body-confidence
issues over here?

422
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,365
Hold on. Not yet.

423
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,106
I'm not doing anything.
[CHUCKLES]

424
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,238
All right, go on.

425
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,936
Are we talking
body-confidence issues
over here?

426
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,459
Wait, you can't tell me
Rick Mellor

427
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,635
has body-confidence issues.

428
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,160
[LAUGHS] Do I ever.
Where do I even start?

429
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,857
Head, shoulders, knees, toes?

430
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,554
You're just doing
the song.

431
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,992
But, Rick, I think that
your head, shoulder,
knees and toes,

432
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,602
knees and toes
are just beautiful.Ugh.

433
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,125
What the hell is going on?

434
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,127
It's just good to know that
we all have insecurities.

435
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,389
Yeah, so you don't
have to feel bad

436
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,174
about wearing
a bathing suit.Oh, my God!

437
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,566
Did you tell
the whole school?

438
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,917
No, just all your
teachers.Just us.

439
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,527
I am already embarrassed
about this,

440
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:53,963
and now I feel
even more ashamed

441
00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:56,052
because everybody knows
my personal business.

442
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,488
Thanks a lot!

443
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:58,881
Felicia, wait.

444
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:01,928
Felicia, please,
let's talk.

445
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:03,886
No, I'm done,
Uncle John.

446
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,279
Just stop trying
to fix this.

447
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,715
You don't get it,
and you never will.

448
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:13,113
♪♪

449
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,810
LAINEY: Glascott
finally realized

450
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,203
it wasn't that anybody
could tell her

451
00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,508
to feel good about herself,

452
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:18,814
because everywhere
she looked,

453
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,163
society was telling her
she shouldn't.

454
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:26,604
It was Valentine's Day,
the day of the big
Singled Out game.

455
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,171
Barry had made his way
down from Detroit,

456
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:30,391
and I had a plan to
prove Wilma wrong.

457
00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:32,610
Hey, I want to be the girl
contestant for Singled Out.

458
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,830
Done. I'm free!
And you'll be
Jenny McCarthy.

459
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,093
Oh, still not great,
but better than before.

460
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,225
Why the sudden change?

461
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:39,835
Well, Singled Out
takes a big group of guys

462
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,445
and narrows them down
to reveal who's right for you,

463
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,534
and I'm gonna prove to you
that the last man standing

464
00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:45,623
will be Barry Goldberg.
Mm-hmm.

465
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,799
I'm not doing the "mm-hmm"
thing again. Just say it.

466
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,584
Well, I don't think
you're trying to prove
anything to me.

467
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:50,933
I think you're trying
to prove it to yourself.

468
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,245
This is gonna be awesome.

469
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:00,377
It was always my destiny
to be on MTV.

470
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:03,163
I figured it'd be as a rapper,
but this is a close second.

471
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,642
Again,
this is not on TV.

472
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:07,210
That's why I love you.
You keep me grounded.

473
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,559
Oh, hey,
there's been a change.

474
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,213
I'm gonna be the bachelorette
for Singled Out.

475
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:13,129
Oh, sweet!
There's no way I can lose!

476
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,566
I know all the desires
of my Lainey-love's heart.

477
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:16,654
Damn right you do.

478
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:17,960
I'm gonna go psych out
the competition,

479
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,266
get inside their heads.

480
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,658
Hey, dummies.

481
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:21,746
You all look dumb.

482
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,357
[MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

483
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,228
♪♪

484
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:28,449
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

485
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,582
Welcome to the first-ever

486
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:34,803
William Penn Valentine's Day
edition of Singled Out.

487
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,633
"And now please
welcome the man

488
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:41,418
"who put the 'prince'
and the 'pal'
in 'principal...'"

489
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,420
Oh, God,
I should've just stayed
the contestant.

490
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:44,726
...John Glascott.

491
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,206
[APPLAUSE]

492
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,990
Yeah! Thank you!

493
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,818
I'm so happy to be here.

494
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:51,951
Now let's meet
our lucky lady.

495
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,953
Or should I say
lucky Lainey?

496
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,824
John, come on.
[LAUGHS]

497
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,826
It's our very own
Lainey Lewis!

498
00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,480
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

499
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,224
Okay, Wilma.

500
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,052
Please tell everyone
how the game works.

501
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,401
If I have to.
You do.

502
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:08,706
Sure.

503
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,927
Principal Glascott
will give Lainey
a series of choices,

504
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,843
and the guys whose answers
don't match up with Lainey's
get the boot,

505
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:16,888
until there's
only one left.

506
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,020
We all know who
that's gonna be.

507
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:21,284
GLASCOTT:
All right, Lainey.
First choice.

508
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,852
Skiing on the mountain
or sunning on the beach?

509
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,158
Sunshine all day, John.

510
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:26,289
All right, guys.
Let's see 'em.

511
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:31,033
Oh. All you mountain men,
it's time to take a hike.

512
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,861
[LAUGHS]

513
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,386
Oh, come on, Rick.

514
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,084
To me, Nurse Julie
is the answer
to all the questions.

515
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,695
Yeah, says the loser
who's just been booted.

516
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,653
Also, you're a good man
and a friend through
the years.

517
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,568
Okay, that was a mess.

518
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,831
But back to our game.

519
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:49,617
Lainey,
scary movie or rom-com?

520
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:50,879
Rom-com all the way.

521
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,188
You guys suck at knowing
personal information

522
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,580
about my girlfriend.

523
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,843
LAINEY: And this
process repeated
again and again.

524
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,541
Italian or Chinese?

525
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,846
LAINEY: Italian.

526
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,587
LAINEY: Sweet.
Sweet, baby.

527
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:05,285
LAINEY: Massage.

528
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,461
Twelve questions later,
it was down to Barry

529
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:08,940
and, wouldn't you know it, CB.

530
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,073
Now one question
would decide it all.

531
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,902
Mr. Serious
or big ol' goofball?

532
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,078
Goofball.

533
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:18,515
Okay.
One more question.

534
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,256
Dogs or cats?
Cats.

535
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,782
Okay. It was
a lot more questions.

536
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,915
Boxers.

537
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,134
Chevrolet.
Vroom!

538
00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,614
Chocolate milk.

539
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:32,790
Well, um,
I'm afraid that's it.

540
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,097
What? That can't be it.
There's still two guys left.

541
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,664
Well, that's all
the cards we have.

542
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,144
For the first time

543
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,711
in the first-ever
William Penn Singled Out,

544
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,365
we have a tie!

545
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,150
Tie? There can't be a tie!

546
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,716
There needs to be
a clear winner.

547
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,630
And there will be!

548
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,284
[BOARD CLACKS]

549
00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:50,939
One, two, three, four,

550
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,419
I declare a thumb war.

551
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:53,637
Come on, come on.

552
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,509
Yes. Ohh, one, two, three.

553
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:56,727
Yes! Whoo!

554
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,512
Big Tasty for the win!

555
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,079
Yes!
Whoo!

556
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,124
That was a lot of fun,
Barry.

557
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,647
Thank you so much
for coming into town.

558
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,171
Victory lap!

559
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:07,999
♪♪

560
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:15,616
Hey.
Where you going?

561
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,008
Oh, I just need
a little air.

562
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,228
Well, you must be
feeling pretty good.Why?

563
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:20,403
You proved what
you wanted to prove.

564
00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:21,535
I don't know if I did.
[SIGHS]

565
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:24,059
What do you mean?
Barry won.Did he, though?

566
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,670
TheSingled Out game
had left me more
confused than ever.

567
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,890
As for Glascott, he finally
understood Felicia's issue.

568
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:29,934
Mind if I have a seat?

569
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:35,810
Look, it was...

570
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,942
It was wrong for me
to try and "fix" you.

571
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:40,249
I'm really sorry
about that.

572
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,209
Well, I guess it was
just you trying to help
in your own stupid way.

573
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,993
The truth is,
you don't need fixing.

574
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,777
You're perfect
just the way you are.

575
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:48,649
I really mean it.

576
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,868
And I'm not saying that
just because I'm your uncle.

577
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,392
I appreciate it.

578
00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,611
It's just, you have
no idea what it's like

579
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,787
to be a teenage girl
and have to deal
with all this stuff.

580
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,876
You're right. I don't.

581
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,705
But I do know what
it's like to be an uncle

582
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,533
who would do anything
to help his niece
when she's hurting.

583
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:09,322
Would you let me
try one more
stupid thing to help?

584
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:12,194
[TLC'S UNPRETTYPLAYS]

585
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,543
Go ahead. Open it.

586
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:16,677
♪ I wish I could tie
you up in my shoes

587
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,809
♪ Make you feel unpretty, too

588
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:22,465
♪ I was told I was beautiful

589
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,511
♪ But what does that
mean to you?

590
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,121
♪ Look into the mirror,
who's inside there

591
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,079
FELICIA: What's all this?

592
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,559
You had a bunch of
pictures in there

593
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:33,041
that showed how you wanted
the world to see you.

594
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:35,478
I'm showing you
how the world
does see you,

595
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:38,438
as a smart, amazing,
driven young woman

596
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,396
who kicks all kinds of ass.

597
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,357
FELICIA: That was
a really cool day.Are you kidding me?

598
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,054
The first
female football player

599
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:48,404
in the history
of William Penn?

600
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,493
That was the best day.

601
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,582
You know,
maybe I'm not giving
my body enough credit.

602
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:55,281
I mean, it has got me some
pretty incredible things.

603
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,152
It really has.

604
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,719
And that's
a beautiful thing.

605
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,286
Thanks, Uncle J.

606
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,722
LAINEY: Growing up
can be hard.

607
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:04,464
You spend so much time trying to be someone you're not,

608
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,509
you often lose sight
of who you really are.

609
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,948
All right!
Good class, everyone!

610
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:14,213
But if you're smart enough
to listen to the people
who know you the best,

611
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,518
you'll always
find yourself again.

612
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,695
And even when
you're a grown-up,

613
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,871
you still need those people
who care enough about you

614
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,308
to tell you the truth.

615
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:25,093
♪ You can't look inside you

616
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:28,183
♪ Find out who am I to

617
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:33,493
♪ Be in the position
to make me feel
so damn unpretty

618
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,973
♪ You can buy your hair
if it won't grow ♪

619
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:38,149
LAINEY: And when life
throws some really tough
questions your way,

620
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:43,894
sometimes the person
you have to listen to
is yourself.

621
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,551
John, took a lot
of convincing,

622
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,249
but I know you're totally
on board with this.

623
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,902
I am not on board
with this.

624
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:53,077
Let's rock 'n' roll!

625
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,557
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

626
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,080
Come on.
Give me three more.
Let's go!

627
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,344
[GROANS]
I hate you.

628
00:20:58,387 --> 00:20:59,910
I hate you.

629
00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,912
I hate you.
Yeah.

630
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:03,566
Come on. Let's twist.
Use your obliques.

631
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,176
I don't want to
twist anymore.

632
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,482
Stop passing me the ball.

633
00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:09,442
Please keep it.

634
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,531
You're not
listening to me.

635
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:14,055
This is how friendships
fall apart.

636
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,535
Keep going.
Feel the burn.

637
00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:17,014
What's the point, Rick?

638
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,366
What's the [BLEEP] point?

639
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,281
All right.
Good work, John.

640
00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:23,369
Same time tomorrow?

641
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:24,761
I'll be here,

642
00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:26,285
because I cannot move.

643
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,199
[BREATHING HEAVILY]