1 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:03,604 LAINEY: Back in the '90s, an indie comedy called Swingers 2 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:04,905 exploded onto the scene. 3 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,774 Everyone loved the on-screen bromance 4 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,909 between Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn, 5 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,779 and their catchy lingo inspired many friendships at William Penn, 6 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,281 where we quoted it on the regular. 7 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,348 Vegas, baby. 8 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:15,783 Vegas, baby. 9 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,219 Vegas! Vegas! 10 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,621 Others were more inspired by the movie's fashion. 11 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:21,922 Why are you dressed like half the dudes 12 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:22,990 in my Gampaw's retirement home? 13 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,025 I'm Trent from Swingers... 14 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,294 Single, confident man 15 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,196 on the prowl for beautiful honey babies. 16 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,963 Little baby's all growsed up. 17 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,166 Little baby's all growsed up! 18 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,601 I'm going. (LAUGHS) 19 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,237 But there was one student who definitely was not a follower 20 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,638 of Swingers fashion. 21 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,340 Lately, she was embracing a darker look 22 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,474 that had me a little concerned. 23 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,775 Hey, Claudia. 24 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,344 You didn't want to maybe switch up your look 25 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,645 and go with a Swingers vibe? 26 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,347 No, those clothes look stupid. 27 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,349 Stupid fresh. (SCOFFS) 28 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,320 But the biggest trend Swingers brought to William Penn 29 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,487 was all about dance. 30 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:55,223 (WHISTLE BLOWS) All right! 31 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:58,959 As you know, I am required to have one unit of dance a year, 32 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,562 and that has always been square dancing, 33 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,930 which nobody likes. 34 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:07,435 So I'm replacing it with the far more athletic swing dancing. 35 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,870 Now watch and learn as Ronnie and Weasel demonstrate. 36 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,373 Have at it, boys. 37 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,874 Phew. 38 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,343 Okay, dude. 39 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,010 It's just like we practiced in your mom's basement. 40 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,379 This is our moment to shine. 41 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,880 Let's rock 'n' roll, boys! 42 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,349 (KEVIN REARDON'S RAGHAT BOOGIE PLAYS) 43 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,916 A five, six, seven, eight... 44 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,524 * There's a party starting, better gather 'round 45 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:31,725 Twirlies! 46 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,194 * That magic sound 47 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,396 (LAUGHS) I did not see that one coming! 48 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,931 * It's a raghat boogie tonight * 49 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,204 (SOUR NOTES PLAY, MUSIC STOPS) 50 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,339 Oh. That was not money. 51 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:50,010 * One of these days, you're gonna get outta here 52 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,013 * Live your life and finally be free 53 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,916 * Go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do 54 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,453 * Someday, you will say "Those were the days" * 55 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,855 LAINEY: It was February 19th, 1990-something, 56 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,657 and I was wrapping up a class discussion. 57 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,226 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 58 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,595 Remember to read chapter six, okay? 59 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,397 And papers are due when, Claudia? 60 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,798 If you don't know, how should I? 61 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,900 They're due on Tuesday, so I do know. How 'bout that? 62 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,035 Great. Give yourself a gold star. 63 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,104 LAINEY: Claudia was a student I had been having difficulty 64 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,506 getting through to, 65 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,774 so when she accidentally left her notebook behind that day, 66 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:21,942 I couldn't help but skim through it 67 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,111 in order to try and gain some insight. 68 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:28,449 "I was born to a demon mother, fire in my veins. 69 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,351 ""She steals my freedom with her voodoo, 70 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,886 always keeps me in chains"? 71 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,322 "She is such a f... " What are you doing? 72 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,658 I'm so sorry. 73 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,992 But I think I get it now. 74 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,495 I'm guessing not everything is cool between you and your mom. 75 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,596 Like you would know. 76 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,698 Well, I just read a poem called "Mother Sucker." 77 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,767 And... And then there's "Devil in a Blue Skort" 78 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,168 and "Mom, You're a Raging..." 79 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,537 Just mind your own business. 80 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,672 I'm a teacher. You are my business. 81 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,674 As I struggled to connect to a lost student, 82 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,344 Wilma was rallying everyone for a "swinging" night out. 83 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,111 All right, we're all going to 84 00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,913 Swing Dancing Night at the Greenwood Inn. 85 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:00,981 Who's game? 86 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,082 Actually, Wilma, 87 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,484 I don't think Julie and I can attend, 88 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,719 'cause we have those already established plans, 89 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,154 right, Julie? JULIE: Yes. 90 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,122 We have plans to go swing dancing with Wilma. 91 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,124 All right, we're in. 92 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,661 I'm down, daddy-o. 93 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:14,728 And you'll love it, CB. 94 00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:15,963 You won't look so out of place. 95 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,030 Everyone wears stupid ties. 96 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,367 Ha. I think I'm gonna pass, Wilma. 97 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,001 My students are turning in their, uh, 98 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,136 Scarlet Letter essays by end of day Friday, 99 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,204 and I want to get them graded. 100 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,839 Ugh. You never come out with us. 101 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,008 Okay. Gather up, everyone. 102 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,879 It is that time of the year when we have run out of money 103 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,848 and I realize I do not have an adequate support staff. 104 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,984 So, who's up for some volunteering? 105 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,019 We're here for ya, boss. What can we do ya for? 106 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,755 Well, first up, Saturday morning school beautification. 107 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,056 Use any fancy words you want... 108 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,858 It's just picking up trash at 6:00 a.m. 109 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,361 Sold! No better way to start my weekend. 110 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,762 Any other volunteers? 111 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,063 No one? 112 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,433 All right, next up, Model U.N. 113 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,867 We need a few advisors. 114 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,670 Si. Oui. Ja. (CHUCKLES) 115 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,205 Grazie, CB. 116 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,774 And, finally, we need someone to plant some begonias 117 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:02,075 by the front entrance. 118 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,512 Uh... Rick, how 'bout you? 119 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,146 I don't know what begonias are, 120 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,716 and, besides, we start dodgeball next week, 121 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,918 and 300 rubber balls are not going to inflate themselves. 122 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,686 I gotchoo, PG. I'm on it. 123 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,657 Well, that's all, then, and thank you to CB and CB only. 124 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,627 I get you love your job, 125 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,862 but grading papers on a Friday night, 126 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,897 and now this extra volunteer work? 127 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,566 It's like you practically live at this school. 128 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,368 Oh, God, that'd be absurd. 129 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,236 (CHUCKLES) Plus the insurance wouldn't even allow that... 130 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,738 Not that I've checked. 131 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,972 Oh, come on, CB. 132 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,807 You're a young single guy in his 20s. 133 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:36,209 You should be going out and having fun. 134 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,512 I got to get 35 mini flags for Model U.N., 135 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,349 poster board for the bake sale, and I need milk. 136 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,250 That's three "going outs" right there. 137 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,418 Full skedge! 138 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:45,753 See? I don't even have time 139 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,621 to say the full word "schedule" I'm so busy. 140 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,223 LAINEY: Now, I didn't quite know how to help Claudia, 141 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,992 but I knew who could help me help her. 142 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,227 John, we have a Code 5 emergency. 143 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,529 A raccoon in the cafeteria? 144 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,898 Is it exhibiting signs of rabies? No. 145 00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,200 No rabies brings it down to a Code 5-A. 146 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,402 There's no raccoon. 147 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,537 Then that's not a Code 5 at all. 148 00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:06,206 Lainey, my code system is not a toy. 149 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,741 It's about Claudia Caughlin. 150 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:08,976 She left her notebook in my class 151 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,778 full of super-heavy emotional poetry. 152 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,246 Poetry? Hmm. Have a seat. 153 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,115 I don't know if you know this, but I've been known 154 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,817 to sling a few verses here and there. 155 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,086 I'm actually doing a poetry slam next week. 156 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,854 Wait, seriously? Indeed. 157 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,990 My stage name is Furious G. 158 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,858 Feast your ears on this. 159 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,394 "Fish sticks. 160 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,862 "Sticks of fish I eat. 161 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,699 "Nourishment for my body home. 162 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:36,404 "Aquarium? A query? Yum. 163 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,271 "Once a swimmer in the tide, 164 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:41,675 "but now fried to keep me... 165 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,310 "Alive." 166 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,812 What (BLEEP) was that? 167 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,879 I know, right? 168 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,881 Well, Claudia's stuff is less seafood-related 169 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,683 and more terrible-mother-related. 170 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,018 Oh, well, that explains why 171 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,986 she started dressing like Lily Munster. 172 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,456 (CHUCKLES) Such a good show. 173 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,690 I really feel for Claudia. 174 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,291 Of course, because of everything you went through 175 00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,893 with your mother when you were here in school. 176 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,795 Yes. I remember when you forced me to talk about it 177 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,697 in our mandatory "Feelings Friday" sessions. 178 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,633 And a little during "What's up Wednesdays." 179 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,135 And now here you are with those unique insights 180 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,604 and Claudia obviously needing counseling. 181 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:12,440 Exactly. So, can you help her? 182 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:14,475 Lainey, you're the one who needs to help her. 183 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,709 You relate to her. 184 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,077 You understand what she's going through. 185 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,378 I guess that makes sense. 186 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,013 You're lucky you had a terrible childhood. 187 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,749 I wish I could help her, 188 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:25,085 but my relationship with my mother is just so solid. Of course it is. 189 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,020 I mean, she's so loving. Got it. 190 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,288 She calls me every other day... 191 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,723 Good for you. ...just to say "I love you." 192 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,158 I am blessed. 193 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,461 Hey, but Furious G, on the other hand, 194 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,063 he is a child of the streets. 195 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,768 Oh, hey. You heading home? 196 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,670 Careful. The manure's pretty fresh. 197 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,071 I picked up on that. 198 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,673 But it looks like you're almost finished. 199 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,240 Maybe reconsider coming out with us. 200 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,408 Oh, I'm not almost finished. 201 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,110 I still have to handle Mellor's balls. 202 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,244 Oh. 203 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,246 I have to pump up his dodgeball balls. 204 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,382 But doing that was Mellor's excuse 205 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,550 for why he couldn't do the flowers. 206 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,486 Yeah, Rick said he had a personal emergency, 207 00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,553 and it must be serious 208 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:01,254 'cause he went right to the nurse's office. 209 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,423 The nurse's office, where his girlfriend works? 210 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,427 So, this is why you dumped your work on CB? 211 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,029 This is your emergency? 212 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,764 Yes. Aunt Julie is the light of my life, 213 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,733 and every time I'm not with her, it's an emergency. 214 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,234 He's mostly just playing with my stickers. 215 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,236 Ah, and I did a "grape" job. 216 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,540 So, even though CB already does everything around here, 217 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,709 you saddled him with even more? 218 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,276 Saddled? The guy loves it! 219 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,444 Do you see how excited he gets 220 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,113 every time he volunteers for something? 221 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,681 I think you might be missing the point, Rick. 222 00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:28,916 Thank you, Julie. 223 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,251 Although I don't know what the point is. 224 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,786 I just know that he's missing it. 225 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,756 The point is CB's taking on all this extra work 226 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,992 because he's avoiding having a life outside of school. 227 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,260 Why would he do that? 228 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,562 Wait. 229 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,796 I think I know. 230 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,132 Is this about how CB used to have a crush on Lainey? 231 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,634 Witch! 232 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,269 Um, not wicked witch, the mind-reader witch. 233 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,938 Okay, we all know about that, 234 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,574 except he's not hung up on Lainey anymore, 235 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:54,908 but he's still stuck in a rut, 236 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,710 spending all his time here at school. 237 00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:57,978 I get that, 238 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,113 for I, too, had nothing to live for beyond these walls 239 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,415 until I met my sweet nurse, Aunt Julie. 240 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,618 Exactly. So, don't you see, 241 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,187 by dumping even more extra schoolwork on CB, 242 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,723 you're helping to prevent him from getting out there 243 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,559 and maybe meeting his Aunt Julie? 244 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:15,295 Impeding CB's ability to meet his very own Aunt Julie 245 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,064 is the worst offense a man can commit! 246 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,132 Knowing your glory, 247 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,135 I want every man in the world to have you. 248 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,571 Aww. 249 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,839 I know you meant that to sound sweet. 250 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,007 And it did. 251 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,045 LAINEY: Wilma and Coach had agreed to help CB 252 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,513 spread his wings outside the school, 253 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,048 and Coach had the perfect plan. 254 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,283 What's this about? 255 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,819 Okay, I know we agreed to work together to help fix CB, 256 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,921 but, lucky for you, I went rogue. 257 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,590 I am beyond nervous. Don't be. 258 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:43,857 I was so riddled with guilt 259 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,358 at robbing CB of his opportunity 260 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,628 to find his very own Nurse Aunt Julie 261 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:50,197 that I have gathered in his classroom... 262 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,069 ...a fine collection of eligible single ladies. 263 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,537 Oh, my... 264 00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,039 I was told there would be food. 265 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,709 Uh, the... It's coming, uh, fine single lady. 266 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,343 Yeah. 267 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,512 I told them there'd be an elaborate buffet, 268 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,348 but one of these fine ladies is actually a nurse, 269 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,184 three are aunts, and one is named Judy. 270 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,553 Well, it's not Julie, but it's pretty damn close. 271 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:16,023 So, CB just waltzes in here and picks one? 272 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,858 This is extremely weird and awkward. 273 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,359 Just like CB! It's perfect. 274 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,861 Excuse me. 275 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,229 When does the raffle start? 276 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,064 After the buffet. Oh. 277 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,265 I also told them there was a raffle. 278 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,399 I had to get them all in here. 279 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,768 Buffet, raffle... What are you gonna do? 280 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,537 Um, sorry. What is this? 281 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,773 CB. Yes? 282 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,243 Feast your eyes on this smorgasbord of eligible single ladies. 283 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,344 Why... What are you doing? 284 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,979 I am determined to help you 285 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,081 find the same joy that I have found. 286 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,916 Here he is, ladies! What a catch. 287 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,918 Full head of hair, he owns his own car, 288 00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,287 and he's halfway vested to a teacher's pension. 289 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,156 I'll start the bidding at $20. 290 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,523 No, no, it's not an auction. 291 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:51,759 $25. 292 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:52,926 Well, what the hell? I'm flexible. 293 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,028 Do I hear $30? Okay, um, 294 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,464 thank you so much, women, for coming out, 295 00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,099 but I'm... I'm not looking right now. 296 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,267 Thank you. 297 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,434 $30! 298 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,837 Read the room, Ethel. 299 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:04,905 CB, wait. 300 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,774 No! Good instincts, keep going. 301 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,076 Um, thank you for whatever this was, 302 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,711 but what was this? 303 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,380 First, to be clear, I was not a part of the insanity 304 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,115 of gathering this hodgepodge of women. 305 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,449 That was all me, baby. (SIGHS) 306 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,852 But it's not even about finding a woman. 307 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,221 We just want you to spend a little less time by yourself 308 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,756 and a little more time getting out there. 309 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,091 You don't think I'm getting out there? 310 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,893 Well, you did just tell all those fine gals 311 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,194 that you're not looking right now. 312 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,196 Yeah, I'm not looking 'cause I already have someone. 313 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,430 You do? Who? 314 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,732 Her name is Annabelle. 315 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,335 She's actually a model s... Uh, catalogue, but still. 316 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,569 We have a date Friday night. 317 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,138 Then why didn't you tell me that 318 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,307 instead of saying you were grading papers on Friday night? 319 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,209 Well, I like to keep my private life private. 320 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,078 You know, I always saw Julie as a potential catalogue model. 321 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,346 How do you get into that line of work? 322 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,315 LAINEY: Wilma wasn't buying CB's story, 323 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,150 and as for Claudia, she wasn't sold 324 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,119 on a teacher like me wanting to help her. 325 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,054 So, I tried playing a different role. 326 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,890 Hey. Don't you, like, hate the sun? 327 00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,525 It's just so bright and all in your face. 328 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,327 What are you doing? Why are you dressed like that? 329 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,662 Because I'm sick of wearing that clown costume 330 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,064 they make me wear here every day. 331 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,666 This speaks to the color of my soul. 332 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,970 You're wearing flip-flops with little plastic flowers on them. 333 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,371 Oh. Yes. 334 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,073 Only because my... 335 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,574 Goth shoes are at the cobbler. 336 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,011 So, I was thinking of replacing my bed with a coffin. 337 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,180 I'm not... Look. Let me save you further embarrassment. 338 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,481 I know what you're doing. 339 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,850 You don't know anything about me. 340 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,017 That's the thing... I do. 341 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,719 You have a tough relationship with your mother, 342 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,954 and so did I when I was your age. 343 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,289 No way it was as bad as mine. Oh, yeah? 344 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:32,659 I'd put my mom issues up against yours any day. 345 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,395 Couple weeks ago, I was five minutes late for curfew, 346 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,798 and she grounded me for a week and took away my Ouija board. 347 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,466 I would've killed to have a curfew! 348 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,568 That would've meant my mom wanted me to come home. 349 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:42,702 Last Saturday night, 350 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,704 I forgot to tell my mom I was going to a big party, 351 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,306 and she showed up and dragged me out 352 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,108 and embarrassed me in front of all my friends. 353 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,409 One time, when I was 11, 354 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,745 my dad and I had to drag my mom out of a biker bar 355 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,981 because she was "being too rowdy." 356 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:56,884 Last Christmas, I asked my mom for tickets to see The Cure. 357 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:57,985 All she got me was a bunch 358 00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,686 of stupid sweaters from Fashion Bug. 359 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,655 Christmas. We used to celebrate those. 360 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,292 Until one Christmas Eve, my mom walked out on me and my dad. 361 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,994 No reason, no warning, no letter. 362 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,061 Just gone. 363 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,397 I haven't seen or talked to her since. 364 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,400 Wow. 365 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,735 That sure beats stupid sweaters. 366 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,605 And one was okay, actually. 367 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:19,639 It had a giraffe on it. 368 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,143 I didn't know any of that about you. 369 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,444 Yeah. 370 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,579 And what really helped was I started writing and performing songs 371 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,081 about what happened. 372 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,749 It was a great outlet for my feelings. 373 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,719 You could perform that poem you wrote about your mother. 374 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,323 I can take you to a place where people get up and do slam poetry. 375 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,058 I think it would really help you deal with things. 376 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,160 Maybe expressing my feelings 377 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,629 is better than keeping them hidden away in a notebook. 378 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:43,864 Exactly. 379 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,432 Okay. I'll go. 380 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,100 But you're not gonna show up like that, are you? 381 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,036 Oh, God, no. I ran out of foundation, 382 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,603 and my left cheek is mostly Wite-Out. 383 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,105 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 384 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,276 Why, hello. Oh. 385 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,778 You're not Paul from upstairs returning my cake plate. 386 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,580 And you're not on a date with Annabelle, 387 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,583 but I can see the name on that little ship is Annabelle. 388 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,286 Yes, that is because I named it after her 389 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:07,955 'cause that's how serious she and I are. 390 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,056 What's Annabelle's last name? 391 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,223 Bottleboat. 392 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,291 I have no date. 393 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,692 I had a feeling. 394 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,228 Why'd you lie? 395 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,663 Look, I love teaching, 396 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,098 and I don't mind saying I'm great at it. 397 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,432 No arguments here. 398 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,733 It's totally my zone. 399 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,302 It's where I feel most comfortable, 400 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,637 I get a ton of positive feedback, 401 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,908 but the things in my life outside of my zone, 402 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,077 well, they're not working out as well. 403 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,846 Like Lainey? No, I'm over the whole Lainey crush, 404 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,983 but it was a reminder that the things outside of teaching 405 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,852 aren't a guaranteed success for me, you know? 406 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,454 So it's like, "Why not go all in on my best thing?" 407 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,957 When I first started teaching, I was all about work. 408 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,159 On a Friday night, there was nothing I liked more 409 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,496 than being at home, dissecting a fetal pig or a frog 410 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,564 or maybe even something I hit with my car on my way home. 411 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,500 Accidentally, I hope? Sure. 412 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,103 Anyway, one night, the power went out in my place, 413 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,005 so I went to a bar down the block, 414 00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,340 and turns out people from work were there. 415 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,609 A couple of beers, a few Limoncellos, 416 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,711 and a bus ticket to Atlantic City later, 417 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,980 I now own two-thirds of a goat farm. 418 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,115 Seriously? 419 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,183 And all this time, I've been buying my own goat cheese. 420 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,119 The point is that was 10 years ago, 421 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,321 and those people are still my friends, 422 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,624 all because I went out and connected with other people. 423 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,126 So, come dancing. 424 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,461 And if you don't do it for you, do it for us. 425 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,630 We like having you around. Thanks. 426 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,999 I like being around you guys, too. 427 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,267 But I'm gonna take a rain check, 428 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,369 and, you know, maybe next time. 429 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,204 Okay. 430 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:32,339 Maybe next time. 431 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,474 Cool. 432 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,911 All right. Let's welcome our next poet to the stage, Furious G. 433 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,012 Whoo! 434 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,214 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 435 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,249 You all know me. 436 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,685 This is a little piece that I wrote. 437 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,320 It's called "Within the Lines." 438 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:52,825 "Parking spot, my spot to park. 439 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:56,763 "You see me with the day, start and end. 440 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,131 "I drive away." 441 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,702 All right. 442 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,971 (SIGHS) 443 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:09,376 Thank you, Furious G. That was about a parking spot. 444 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,012 Next up, we'll bring a new poet to our stage. 445 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,481 Please give a warm welcome to Claudia. 446 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,715 You can do this. 447 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,417 Just get it all out, share your feelings. 448 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,953 Thanks. I know it'll feel good to get this off my chest. 449 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,124 I am proud of you, Lainey, 450 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,293 and how well you've taken my sage advice. 451 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,129 (FEEDBACK) Okay, here we go. 452 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,563 "Oh, brother, 453 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:34,034 "gross boy on the other end of our Jack and Jill bathroom, 454 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,102 "how I hate you." 455 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,203 Wait. What's that now? 456 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,271 "Dried toothpaste blobs in the sink, 457 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,540 "toilet bowl filled with stink, 458 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,842 "your crusty towel hung akimbo. 459 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,077 "Oh, bro. 460 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,146 "No, no, no." 461 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,584 (APPLAUSE) The (BLEEP) was that? 462 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:54,087 Oh, my God. I was so nervous, but I did it. 463 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,222 Yeah, congrats. 464 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,789 But what happened to that poem trashing your mom? 465 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,458 Oh, I don't need to read that one anymore. 466 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,293 Why not? It was your chance to let it all out. 467 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:04,164 Now, everyone, give it up for our next poet, Li'l Street Rat. 468 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,399 He's good. No. Uh, sorry, no. 469 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,800 Go back to your seat. Don't give it up. 470 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,002 Go back to your seat, Li'l Rat Face. 471 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:10,470 Claudia has another poem. 472 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,305 Right, Claudia? No, I don't. 473 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,007 Yes, you do. It's called "Mother Sucker." 474 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,475 It's about her mom, really lets her have it. 475 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,809 Lainey, it's okay. She doesn't want to... 476 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,245 Not now, Furious G. 477 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,879 I'm not reading it, Ms. Lewis. 478 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,115 Yes, you are. You have to. 479 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:24,351 You can't just bottle up all these negative feelings about your mother. 480 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,286 It will only mess you up for years to come. 481 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,354 But my mom and I are good now. 482 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,722 No, you're not. You hate her. Not anymore. 483 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,624 After you told me about what a disaster 484 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,193 your relationship was with your mother 485 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,361 and what she did to you, 486 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:37,030 it made me realize I'm lucky my mom's still here. 487 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:40,333 So I went home and I talked to her and I shared my feelings. 488 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:43,903 Anyways, my mom and I are making Rice Krispie treats tonight. 489 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,505 See you Monday. Bye. 490 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,308 She was supposed to go up there and read that poem 491 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,742 that vented all her anger at my mom. 492 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:50,910 Your mom? 493 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,480 No, her mom, not mine. Lainey, I think... 494 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,215 Don't try to make this a thing about me and my mom. 495 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,983 This is all about Claudia. 496 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,985 Thanks a lot for making me do this, John. 497 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,493 LAINEY: Wilma's efforts to get CB to join the fun didn't quite land, 498 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,961 but even alone at home, there were some people he couldn't dodge. 499 00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:12,165 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) Hey, CB! It's Rick Mellor, 500 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,600 Coach Rick Mellor from William Penn. 501 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,235 (SWING MUSIC PLAYS) WILMA: Hey, CB. 502 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,671 Anyway, Julie, Wilma, and I are at Swing Dancing Night. 503 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,407 You should come by! JULIE: Not the same without you! 504 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,841 RICK: Uh, by the way, first drink's on... 505 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,943 (BEEP) Hey, CB. Coach Rick again. 506 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,612 Uh, I think I got cut off there, 507 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,415 so I was just calling back to make sure you heard the first drink's on me. 508 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,949 WILMA: Come on out and dance with us! 509 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,518 RICK: Anyway, I really hope you can make... (BEEP) 510 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,852 Rick again. WILMA: We love you, CB! 511 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,421 RICK: I just want you to know I was saying 512 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,223 I really hope you can join us. 513 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,624 Again, this is Rick Mel... 514 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:38,725 (BEEP) ...lor. 515 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,693 I got cut off at "Mell," so I don't... 516 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,994 JULIE AND WILMA: (CHANTING) CB! I don't want you to think, uh, 517 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,330 it's Rick Mell, some strange guy. 518 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,198 It's actually Mellor. Mellor. 519 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,233 (BEEP) 520 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,868 These baristas. 521 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,205 I clearly told them that my name is Furious G, 522 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,107 and they wrote "Furbiest Gene." 523 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,343 (CHUCKLES) That's not even a real name. 524 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,845 I can't believe I screwed up so bad. 525 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:02,282 Well, your goal was to help Claudia, and you did just that. 526 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,252 Yeah, by showing her how humiliatingly worse my childhood was 527 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,287 and what a mess I apparently still am? 528 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,422 Come on, Lainey. You're not a mess. 529 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,023 It's just that helping Claudia 530 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,593 brought up some old, unresolved issues. 531 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,995 She left more than 10 years ago. 532 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,564 I thought I was over it. 533 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,232 Well, maybe you should take 534 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,867 the same advice that you gave Claudia. 535 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,469 She didn't take my advice. 536 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,004 I told her to express her feelings to the audience here. 537 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,473 She went and expressed them to her mom. 538 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:29,075 And it seems like that really worked out for her. 539 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:32,011 You know, Lainey, sometimes when you help a student, 540 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,646 they can end up helping you. 541 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,583 Thank you, Furious G. 542 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,918 Yo. 543 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,388 LAINEY: Glascott had helped me see all the good I'd done for Claudia, 544 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,456 but as Swing Dancing Night went into full effect, 545 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,425 CB was still nowhere to be found. 546 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,060 So Julie, Coach, and Wilma made the best of it without him. 547 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,629 Julie, I don't know how you did it, 548 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,431 but you are looking both cute and hot. 549 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,500 Oh, well, thanks. I could say the same about you. 550 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,634 Ah! 551 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,869 Hello, ladies... And Rick. 552 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,238 Whoa, that is one heck of a suit. 553 00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,672 Thanks. It was my grandfather's. 554 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:00,907 It's really nice. 555 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,642 He died in it. 556 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,978 (NEW RADICALS' YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE PLAYS) 557 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,418 * Unh 558 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,320 * Cha, cha, cha 559 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,322 * Cha 560 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,757 Oh, look at this! 561 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,292 CB, you came out. 562 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,694 I did. Did you bring Annabelle? 563 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,364 Um, let's just say my relationship with her sank. 564 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,099 But turns out I have some really pushy friends 565 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,901 that I'm very lucky to have. 566 00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,136 We're lucky, too. 567 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,938 * One, two, three, ow! 568 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,606 LAINEY: Life is full of challenges, 569 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,475 and they can be scary to face alone, 570 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,076 but that's why it's important to remember 571 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,511 that with friends by your side, 572 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,513 you'll never have to. 573 00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,615 'Cause even in the most difficult of times, 574 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,084 if you have the support of those who care about you, 575 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,454 you'll find those tough moments get a whole lot easier. 576 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:50,257 * ...busy still saying please 577 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,826 So if someone wants to lend a helping hand, take it. 578 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,395 * Frenemies 579 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,630 Because when we connect with each other, 580 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,632 the possibilities are endless. 581 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,868 * We smash a Mercedes-Benz 582 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,004 * First we run, and then we laugh till we cry * 583 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,475 And some challenges are a lot harder to face than others. 584 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:11,010 But you need to have faith that the harder it is, 585 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,045 the bigger the reward will be. 586 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,715 So when you find yourself nervous or afraid, 587 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,317 know that the best way through it all 588 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:19,552 is to face it head-on. 589 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:24,357 'Cause in the end, it just might open up new doors to something even better. 590 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,925 (SIGHS) 591 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,730 Hey, Dad. 592 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,032 I was thinking maybe it's time I talked to Mom. 593 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,334 Do you have her number? 594 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,340 This is a little thing I call "Crazy World." 595 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,509 "In crazy times, I build a bridge 596 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,177 "from my jumbled mind to my mini fridge 597 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,979 "inside of which resides the cure 598 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,516 "to a world so cold and so impure. 599 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:53,386 "When pain and strife in one do mingle, 600 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,423 "I open the door and get my Kraft Single." 601 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,625 So deep how he uses Kraft Singles 602 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,627 as a metaphor for achieving inner peace. 603 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,062 No, not a metaphor. He's literally talking about cheese. 604 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,031 This is called "Wherever Did You Go?" 605 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,066 "The silver screen is now laid bare, 606 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,603 "a shadow of the glory that was once there. 607 00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:13,406 "You looked so silky, lush, and hip 608 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,274 "perched atop the upper lip 609 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:19,045 "of a man so full of style and panache. 610 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:22,181 "Please come back, Burt Reynold's mustache." 611 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,816 That can't be about Burt... 612 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,152 Burt Reynold's mustache. Yes, it absolutely was.