(Thugga) So the suppliers are called 'The Company'
and they're from China.
They're so good, they can ship the world over.
Cops never even heard of them.
(Mack) No more baby 50 gram bags, We're moving into kilos.
Ed, What's Toby doing?
(Huggins) When my mum had arthritis, she'd use infrared therapy.
-Helped ease the pain. -You reckon?
Could be worth a try?
(Carmen) It's been two weeks and it sounds like you're on holiday.
You need to come home.
-You know I can't.
-He misses his dad.
How much are we bringing in?
-500 kilos. -What?
Worth about half a billion on the street.
(Stevie) How did you not know?
We've won the lotto, man.
-Yeah. -Good boy, Toby.
(edgy music)
(sniffs)
(water splashes)
(edgy music continues)
Shipping updates.
(music intensifies)
(plane engines hum)
I think Jasmine smells just a little bit like...
shit.
("Coco Solid" by Diamond Nail plays)
Ugh. Come on, girl, I'm telling you.
(Sez) So I told him, 'This doesn't even look like a green smoothie.
'It's brown.' And he said he put beetroot in it.
If you put beetroot in a green smoothie,
-it's not a green smoothie. -Exactly.
Oh, shoot.
Who? The Chinese guys?
No, shoot like talk.
Oh, yeah.
So the boat's out at sea with the laundry and they can't get to shore.
Their little runner boat broke or something but,
because they guarantee delivery to the spot,
he's organised a crew and he's flying in to sort it.
Why couldn't you just text me?
-He wants us to buy a boat. -So buy him a boat.
He wants supplies, like food, water, petrol.
Buy them whatever they ask for.
(Blaze) If they're stranded,
the last thing you need is someone finding a bunch of dead Chinese
and a half a ton of laundry floating off the coast, yeah?
-I'll need more cash. -Whatever it costs.
You heard? Tall Guy's coming back.
Aye?
Oh, no.
-(Blaze) Can you sort him out? -Yeah, of course.
-Make sure you buy them vegetables. -Huh?
For the supplies, so they can make green smoothies.
True. You don't want them getting scurvy.
Scurvy?
(Blaze) You're done. Go sort it. It's up to you and your boys.
All greens, no beetroot.
Definitely no beetroot.
(opening credit music)
(waves crash)
(distant laughter)
(Tina)...Oh, has to be seen to be believed.
So, Michael cooked the pulled pork with Serrano chilli.
So he's cutting up the chilli, washed his hands.
I told him he should still be careful.
Ignores me. Goes to the toilet.
Comes back with his penis literally on fire.
-Literally? (chuckles) -Oh, well, figuratively on fire.
So I said to him he should get some milk.
-You know, something alkalising. -Yeah.
He wants ice.
The ice, of course, sticks to his foreskin.
(laughs)
So I grabbed the milk, pour some in a glass,
and he plonks it straight in there.
(laughter)
I swear it's always about his willy with you two.
(laughter)
(light music)
(Ed) Terry. Where's your boots?
-At home. -Well, go get them, man.
-Oh, man. -Where's Toia?
At home.
This is not golf. This is a team sport.
Huh?
Pointless training if we've only got enough for a basketball team
and that ball's a different shape.
And you guys are too short for the NBA.
(Amo) No Maori's are tall enough for the NBA.
Steven Adams is tall.
He's not Maori, he's English.
-(Boy) No, he's Tongan. -(Amo) His mum's Tongan, his dad—
Look, it doesn't matter where his dad's from, OK?
We're here to play rugby.
I'm going to go get Toia.
I want you guys 12 times around the posts, OK?
Warm up. Let's go.
(claps hands)
You count, Amo.
That's it. Keep an eye on them, Tane.
-(computer game bleeps) -(Ed) Let's go. Let's go.
(upbeat exciting music)
(horn toots)
(knocking) Toia?
Oh, gidday, mate. Toia home?
-Fuck knows. -Those pikelets smell nice.
Oh, fuck me. You are home.
-Coach is here. -Yeah, I can see that.
-Can I have one, Dad? -Make your own.
Come on, girl. Grab your boots.
(bell tinkles)
(sighs) Hello.
I've, um, run out of hot water in my shower, again.
Hm. Let me guess. In your mate's rooms as well.
How did you know?
Maybe you should think about going to a hospital.
Thanks. I just need longer showers.
Is there something I can actually help you with?
Yes, can I please use your computer?
Ah, my phone isn't connecting to the Wi-Fi.
I just need to buy something online quickly.
(horn toots) (tyres squeal)
(Mack) See ya!
(Gravel) Bruh, we're going to Auckland to get cashed up
to buy the boat.
-Psych (laughs) -Fuck!
-(tyres screech) -(sighs)
(bluegrass music plays in background)
(sighs heavily)
(door closes)
(keyboard clacks)
-What are you buying? -A boat.
We're going fishing. Way out.
We're going to launch off the West Coast.
-West Coast? -Mm.
That's real dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.
Do you know what you're doing?
(computer trills) Of course we do.
Thank you.
(tense music)
(tense music continues)
(muffled arguing)
(boat creaks)
(ominous music)
(exciting upbeat music)
-Champagne, sir? -Oh.
(sighs)
Sorry.
-(taxi driver) You were on an island? -Yeah.
You go there before they send you home.
-Send you home? -Deported.
What did you do?
Oh, a couple of small jobs.
Didn't think it was that bad but, shucks, Australia,
they're just racist. And the judge was like, sweet.
Off to Christmas Island, then back to New Zealand for you.
(taxi driver) Why do they call it Christmas Island?
Because brother, once you get out, ooh, it's like Christmas. (chuckles)
-(Tall Guy) My toko, eh? -(Thugga) Tall Guy!
(laughing)
-What's going on, blood? -How are you, Toks?
Good?
Uh, other than it being a few months...
yeah, I'm good.
-Let's get what you need. -Say less. (laughs)
(upbeat electro music)
(whistle blows)
(Ed) Come on, ref. Keep up, ref.
(whistle blows) Put your glasses on, man.
-(Toia) You ready for this? -(Amo) Yeah.
-We got this. -Yeah.
(ref) Crouch! Line, set.
(team chatter)
(crowd cheers)
-(crowd cheering) -(Ed) Go, Toia! That's the way.
(crowd claps) Go, Toia! Go, go, go!
(whistle sounds)
(crowd cheers) (exclaims)
(applause)
(Tane) Yes...
Yes. Yes. Yes!
(computer game bleeps)
Level 358. Been an absolute 'mare.
(light music)
(Lesley) So, let me get this straight — you want to book four rooms,
but first you want to know how long you can shower for.
Correct.
Becs.
-(Becs) Huh? -Becs.
Yeah?
These fellas want to know how long they can shower for.
What are you guys getting up to in the shower?
Oh, nothing dodgy.
(Stevie) Er, you see, I've got this condition where my stomach produces way — and I mean way — too much acid.
And so the hot water releases endorphins,
which makes me feel better.
Maybe you should just go to the hospital.
Oh, no, no. I've already picked up some meds,
they, uh, they just don't work that quickly, so, um,
(Stevie) a few more showers and I should be sweet.
Yeah, well, the rooms have infinity hot water, so...
-go at it. -(Stevie) That is perfect.
-(Stevie) Will 3000 be enough?
(chuckles)
Whoa, hold your horses, Bill Gates.
The rooms are $80 a night, so we'll settle up when we're done.
-Oh, I see. -Sign here.
(Louie) Hi,
-You look like your mum, don't ya? -Not my kid.
Emergency housing. Free childcare receptionists.
-(sarcastically) Love it! -My mistake.
Uhh, spare towels?
End of the hallway. Towel shelf's around the corner.
(Stevie) Thank you.
Hey, don't you think this is getting, you know, a bit too obvious?
Bro, chill, OK? We're taking precautions.
You know when they send people from China,
you know it's serious.
And these guys are professionals.
Look, don't worry. It's all happening.
We'll be out of here soon,
and you'll be back for the birth of your bubba.
("Walk" by Tami Neilson plays)
Does Tracy ever ask about me? (woman moans in background)
-No. -What about Sonya?
No.
-Jasmine? -Jasmine?
-Siana, she's dead. -Huh?
(laughs) She's married, though.
Eh!
Have you got any other plans, besides calling old girlfriends?
Nah, not really, eh.
(laughter)
Look, Blaze wants you part of this job.
Yeah. Whatever. I'm in.
Look, this is the plug, Toko.
There's some top-level shit.
(Thugga) Understand?
Understand.
You might get a call from Customs if they get stopped.
This is their cover story.
Follow it to the letter. Yeah?
Yeah.
What's up? Professional is my surname, a'ight?
Don't worry!
(woman continues moaning in background)
You sweet?
Got any coin?
You know, just to tide me over.
Ooh, what the f--? Toks!
Welcome-home present.
(chuckles) This is mean, G. My man's balling.
-I'll see you soon, yeah? -Yeah.
Easy.
(laughs)
(phone rings)
You want another root?
I'm good, babe. I got to go see my nana.
-Tell your friends. -No need.
This address is scratched on the bathroom wall at Christmas Island.
(upbeat funky music)
(indistinct chatter)
(knocking) (Tall Guy) Nana?
(Nana) Hey!
Come here, my handsome mokopuna. So good to see you.
-(Tall Guy) Good to see you. -Priorities...
Kataki. Sorry for coming late, Nana.
Oh, it's fine. You are here.
-You're home. You're safe. -I'll leave you two to catch up.
Your little brother has just arrived.
Yeah. Work, Nana.
OK.
-Love you. -Love you.
(indiscernible chat)
Come here, sit down. Oh.
I missed you, Nana.
(edgy music)
(phone rings)
(sighs)
(phone rings)
(tense music)
(sighs)
(upbeat exciting music)
(atmospheric electronic music)
(phone rings)
(clears throat)
Hello... hello, hello.
Hello.
(Fan) Hello, is this Levi?
Yes.
Is your name Levi or Levis?
Levi.
(Fan) My name is Fan and I am from New Zealand Customs
at Auckland Airport.
Are you expecting someone today?
Yes, I am.
Can you tell me who you're expecting?
Um...
I, don't er, really know. Can you call me back in five minutes?
Are you at the airport now?
Can I come out and have a talk to you?
Oh, I'm not there yet. Um...
-I'm on my way. -Their plane landed an hour ago.
Really?
(strains)
(atmospheric music)
(coughs)
(apprehensive music)
(plane roars)
(chill music)
(car door closes)
(Mack) Hey bruh, we're here for the boat.
That's it.
Gets out to sea, right? Like, way out?
It did last time.
The ad said it had been checked over?
Yeah, me mate, Dodge.
Cool name.
-He knows his boats? -Oh, yeah.
Dodge knows his bow from his stern.
Cool. Inspection done, bruh!
-Perfect. 40K? -That's what the 'Buy Now' said.
-A bargain for this beauty. -Sounds good.
Cash? I'll need to count all this.
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Gravel. Bring the truck around.
(gravel crunches)
(bees buzz)
(Mack) Do you even know what you're doing?
Yeah, bruh. There we go.
That's the brake. And we're done, lad.
We're on ways.
(Troy) Yeah, that's all good.
-I'll just get the paperwork. -(Mack) No, no, no, bro.
It's all good.
Well, then I better write down that you own the boat
on, er... this bit of paper.
-(Troy) What's your name? -(Mack) Gravel.
Yeah, my name is Gravel.
Better with your real name. Ownership.
What's your name, Gravel?
It's Tevita Koula.
-How do you spell that? -Tevita Koula.
I'll give it a go.
Good one.
(chilled out music)
-Sweet. -Say that.
You gave him your real name.
It's not like he was asking for ID.
Toks, I own a boat now.
-Legit. -(Mack scoffs)
Bruh, I can sell it after we finish the job.
We paid 40K for it.
I can probably sell it for, like, what, 25 easy, bruh.
Why is it only worth 25K, after one job?
Siana, it's done a drug run. Contamination, bruh.
(incredulously) Why would you tell anyone it's done a drug run?
Oh, true. Probably worth 35 then, bruh.
Don't even need that crypto course.
Crypto course?
Siana, don't worry, bruh. Your man here, is always thinking.
You know, you're going to need to pay for the lot
even if you took the beetroot out.
-All good. -(Amo) Ten boxes of marae kai
and some muesli bars.
That'll be $178.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
-(Heather) Oh...
You need a hand?
-Nah, I'm all good. -OK.
All right. Thank you.
-(Heather) Hey, Amo. -Hey.
Another batch of chow chow from Belle's.
Have you got any old veggies for the dogs?
Um, do dogs like beetroot?
(diesel gurgles)
(pump clunks)
You know, you can always put the gas straight in your tank.
Oh, yeah. It's, uh.
It's for a generator.
Pretty big generator.
Big job... Big generator.
(Thugga) The Chinese dudes were waiting at the airport
for the people for five hours.
(Tall Guy) Yeah bro. The Customs guy called me, like, three times.
Fucking rude. Real rude.
No but, asked me the questions, gave him your answers,
and then he hung up.
What answers?
My name is Levi. In the business with my wife.
Oh. Added we got offices in Christchurch.
-Why? -Just went with the feeling.
(Thugga) Did you fuck it up?
No, Toks. It was chill.
So why did he hang up on you?
I don't know. It's Customs.
Hella manners. Chill, relax.
Looks like I did a good job, though. Look who's showing up.
(pants)
He said he's been waiting five hours.
The captains are still not here.
Ah, he wonders why that is.
We told Customs his cover story.
The fishing business. All of it.
Maybe it was someone on his side that got it wrong.
He understands that it's nobody's fault,
but we're in a predicament.
He would like to know what we should do next?
He knows the deal. We agreed. 90 Mile Beach.
That was the place. My guys are waiting.
We even bought him a new boat.
Oh.
So why don't you tell him he looks like an amateur.
(tense music)
Come on. What's the big man want to do?
(tense music continues)
Cai and I will collect the goods and deliver it as promised.
And he thanks you for your patience.
OK, that'll work.
All I'm trying to say is that we're professionals over here.
Tall Guy will be your driver up north.
(upbeat electronic music)
So like, what apps do you guys use in China?
Like, do you have Tinder, Bumble?
Oh, you use Grindr, eh?
(laughs)
Oh, that's a joke, bruh.
And, like, why do you guys eat chicken feet?
Is that, you know, tradition or--
Cai suggested maybe you just concentrate on the drive.
Just making conversation.
(knocking)
(knocking repeats)
(door creaks open)
(door creaks shut)
(ominous atmospheric music)
(vacuum cleaner hums)
(vacuum cleaner stops)
Becs.
-(Becs) Huh? -Come check this out.
It's like the start of a joke.
Three Tongans, two Chinese fullas and a Maori.
One where they give us shit loads of money for showers.
Who are these fullas?
Boat looks good.
And he thanks you guys for sorting out the food.
Yeah, we spent a lot of time getting it all done before he got here.
He wants to know where we plan on launching it.
Show him.
Here.
Looks awesome...
(Sam) Have you got a photo without your face on it?
Ah, thought it was a good angle.
Cai is just a bit concerned that the waves seem quite big.
(Sam) And the ramp doesn't reach the water.
-Do you guys have any other options? -We understand.
But to launch with the Prado, we need to use the ramp.
(Gravel) What about here?
(Sam) Yeah, that's good. Looks good.
OK, so we need a tractor.
Shh.
(vacuum cleaner starts)
(Sam) He suggests you guys organise a tractor,
and please have a cover story for all of us.
He also apologises, politely, that he's going to take a nap.
Jet lag.
Yeah, when I got back from Aus, I was still tired as.
(Stevie) Gravel...
There's only a two hour time difference
between Sydney and New Zealand.
Bruh, still needed a nap, though.
You three, go pick up the generator.
See if they do tractors and sort out a cover story.
I got to keep Thugga updated.
-(Gravel) Sweet. -(Stevie) Yeah. Nice, nice, nice.
(upbeat rhumba music)
Hello, stranger.
Oh, no. You know me. Louis.
I was joking.
Oh, I'm just here for that generator again.
That's a surprise. (chuckles)
-Is it? -No, Louis, I was bloody joking.
Are you all right? You seem a bit off.
-Oh. I'm fine. -Hello again, madam.
Are you still sick?
Ah, yes. Sorry.
So you hire tractors?
Uh, nope.
Why you want one of those? You got a boat to launch?
-Yeah. -Oh.
-Good boat? -(Gravel) Great boat.
Hey, did you want to buy it after our little fishing trip?
Tempting.
But no.
So we were hoping to launch it off the beach at 90 Mile.
(Justine) That's dangerous.
You're going to need more than a tractor.
You're going to need someone that knows that place backwards.
Do you happen to know anyone?
(Justine) Yep, Ed's your guy. Do you want his number?
-Yes. -Nice.
-There you go. -Oath.
-Thank you. -Yeah, thanks.
Hey, do you guys still want the generator or...
Oh, shit. Yeah, of course. Yeah.
(light music)
(phone numbers beep)
(phone rings)
(Heather) No, it's not tea time yet. Uh. Uh.
(phone rings)
(Ed) Yep.
Ah, hello, sir.
Ah, All roads lead to Rome. And in this case, Rome is you.
We were very much hoping that you had a tractor
and possibly some time to help us launch our boat.
Yep, I've got a tractor. What sort of boat you got?
(Stevie) Uh, it's— uh, it's big.
It's blue and white and er,
has a large motor and looks like it used to have a canopy.
Where are you?
Currently, we are at the Northerner.
(Ed) OK, look, I've got to come down to the Northerner,
so I'll have a look at the boat and see if we'll be good to go.
Much obliged.
(crockery clatters)
(gentle piano music plays)
Yeah, this one.
Bruh, with all them hearts?
My brother wouldn't be seen dead in that.
Oh, I'm so sorry. Was it one of your brothers who died?
(together) Yeah, my brother.
(funeral director) Oh, dear. Both your brothers died.
-Nah, nah— -Yeah, nah, he was like...
Bruh, he was like a brother to all of us, you know?
(funeral director) I do. I'm very sorry.
You were looking at this one?
-He had a big heart. -Yeah, and I liked this one, too.
You know? Job, you always need a plan B, bruh.
Of course.
-Death has many plans. -Yeah, that, death.
Hey, do you guys take cash?
(birds chirp)
Why are you going out?
Ah. Well, you see, our brother died,
and so we've got his ashes that we want to scatter out west.
Oh, I'm sorry for your loss, mate. It's always a tough one.
-(Ed) You just buy this? -Yeah.
Only a few days ago.
You see, our brother left some money in his will for the boat.
That's what he wanted, you know?
And you got someone to check it out, right?
Oh, yeah, of course. Of course.
And did you ask the local iwi about spreading the ashes?
The iwi?
Yeah, absolutely. All sorted.
-(Ed) You sure? -Yep.
(Gravel) Hey, what's good, lad?
(Toia's dad) You still here? I thought you'd be outskis by now.
(Gravel) Nah, I bought me a boat, lad.
-(Gravel) Going to go spread some ashes later.
(Toia's dad) Mean. What can I get for you?
(Gravel) Just a couple hundy of the smoke, and we'll be good, yeah.
(Toia's dad) Sweet. Just give it, like, five minutes.
Hey. Easy, bruh.
(Toia's dad) All good.
(Ed) Oh, yeah.
I'll be able to launch this beast, no problem.
OK, um,
how about today, seeing as you're already here?
Oh, no, no. Sorry.
I can't do it today. I've got to take this girl running.
I got the next Black Fern here.
-Can I go sit in the ute? -Yeah, it's all good.
Grab yourself a muesli bar.
Ah, tomorrow?
Tomorrow should work. Just give us a call later, eh?
I've got to see what the tide is doing.
We've just got to get it right.
(plane engines roar overhead)
(Bi strains)
(plane roars)
(intense music)
(plane engines get louder)
(intense music continues)
(music intensifies)
(shouting)
(music builds)
(plane engines fade)
(sighs)
(tense music)
(indistinct chatter)
Hey, let's get all the sweet and sour chicken and pork.
Is that sweet and sour lamb?
Yeah. We'll get them that, too.
Bruh, I think it's, like, a New Zealand thing, eh?
He wants to do it tonight.
Because he wants to launch from the beach,
the guy with the tractor can't do it till morning.
He asks if there's any way we can make him come tonight.
You know, like a...
(whispers) bribe.
That's not how it's done here.
We keep a low profile and launch it in the morning.
He can wait it out and drop the laundry at night.
That's just how it is.
He says he needs the satellite phone.
I only have a BlackBerry.
Just call them from the landline.
Sam.
I suggest you get the satellite phone as soon as possible.
Bruh, got the sweet and sour.
(foreboding music)
(Heather) She told you that?
(Ed) Yeah. The bugger is selling it straight out of his room.
Ed, you can't say anything. It's not our place.
-Isn't it? -If you do, say something...
(phone rings)
Hello, Ed here. Yeah, Stevie.
No, shouldn't be an issue, mate.
Make it about 11 a.m. The tide should be higher then.
Yeah, should only take 20, 30 minutes at the most.
OK. I'll see you there.
I got to help launch these guys' boat.
They want to spread some ashes at 11 a.m.
-You around? -Mm-hm.
I've got aquarobics at 5, but that's all.
You know...
I reckon that you should coach Toia,
but I don't think she should come to the house.
(Heather) We just don't want to get caught up in all of that.
We don't know where it leads.
Yeah, you're right.
I just don't like it.
Love you.
Love you, too.
Love you too, Toby. (dog pants)
Hey. Sup, bro?
What are you watching? Anything funny?
Work stuff. Message from the big boss, Tse.
Come, take a look.
(dogs bark in distance)
(metal door creaks)
(metal door slams shut)
(valve squeaks) (gas rushes)
Hey, what the fuck?
Is that real?
(ominous music) Cai loves his blowtorch.
(blow torch roars) (Cai laughs)
Wait, as in...
(ominous music continues)
Yeah, as in Cai.
(muffled screams)
(torch blasts)
(man screams)
This happen a lot?
(man screaming) (Cai laughs)
If you fuck up.
(man screams in agony)
(man screams)
No, it's OK. (screaming continues)
-(Cai laughs) -Just keep your head down.
Do your job, keep the peace. (laughing and screaming continues)
And the riches will be yours. You know.
-(Cai laughs) -(man screams)
Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.
www.able.co.nz Able 2023