(Thugga) The boat's out at sea with the laundry, and they can't get to shore.
Their little runner boat broke or something.
- He wants us to buy a boat? - Buy them whatever they ask for.
The last thing you need is someone finding a bunch of dead Chinese
and a half a ton of laundry floating off the coast, yeah?
Then why don't you tell him he looks like an amateur?
(Thugga) We even bought him a new boat.
- (Mack) The ad said it'd been checked over. - Yeah. Me mate, Dodge.
(Sam) Cai and I will collect the goods and deliver it as promised.
We were hoping to launch it off the beach at 90 Mile.
(Justine) That's dangerous. You're gonna need more than a tractor;
you're gonna need someone that knows that place backwards. Ed's your guy.
- (Ed) Why are you going out? - (Stevie) Well, you see, our brother died.
We've got his ashes that we want to scatter out west.
It shouldn't be an issue, mate. Make it about 11am. The tide should be higher then.
-(Loui) Is that real? -(Sam) Cai loves his blowtorch.
(Cai laughs) -(Sam) Just keep your head down.
Do your job, and the riches will be yours. You know.
-(Cai laughs) -(man screams)
(apprehensive music)
(satellite phone rings)
(dramatic music)
(sighs)
(Louie) Stevie. I really gotta use the toilet. I'm busting, bruh.
Bro. Not now.
Come on, man.
Go in the camper van, Louie.
(tuts)
(groans)
Just a few more hours.
(gate rattles) Hello? (dog barks)
They're here.
- (Stevie) Gidday, Ed. - Hey, good to see you again, Stevie.
- This is, uh, Louie. - (dog pants) - Hi.
Oh, yeah. I remember you — from the garage, right?
Gas. Generator.
Well, it looks like you're the guy that we need.
(Ed) Yeah. So, look, I was thinking we head down to Shipwrecks Bay.
That's the easiest place to launch the boat. It's just down the end there.
- Yeah, the name sounds promising. - Uh, whatever you think's best.
-This is my wife, Heather. -Gidday.
Stevie. Louie.
-Hey. -Gidday.
How do you get their coat so shiny?
-(Heather chuckles) -Vegetables.
-(Louie) Huh? -Yeah. Yeah, leftover veges from the chow chow I make.
I just feed it to the dogs.
-Chow chow? -(Heather) Yeah, yeah. It's a type of pickle. Chinese, I think.
What say you bring the ute down? We might need some tools. I'll follow you down on the tractor.
Stevie, bruh! Uh...
Bro, I got the camper van stuck trying to get it on to the beach.
-(sighs) Uh, this is Gravel. -(Ed) Yeah, gidday, mate. -(Heather) Gidday.
-What's good?
(eerie vocal theme music)
www.able.co.nz Able 2023
(quirky, percussive music)
(Heather) So, how come you brought this down to the beach?
(Gravel) Um, you know, cos the water's over there, and our boat, you can just launch it from here.
-And who's that guy? -That's Mack.
You know, he's really affected by death. You know, he's just updating the brother on the dox's departure.
Hey, um, your dogs are Golden Retrievers, eh?
Yeah. Yeah, I love 'em.
Yeah, my neighbour used to have one. They're real beautiful dogs. Real calm.
I wanted one, but my mum always said they were too expensive.
Yeah. Yeah, they can be.
-How much?
-4000.
-What? For a dog? -Mm-hm.
Cai would like to know how long?
Tell him to hold his horses and don't be so impatient.
Make him a Milo and have some biscuits and relax, yeah?
(door slams)
Who are those guys?
Uh, yeah, that's Sam and Cai. Real close with the brother.
-(Ed) You all good? -Yeah, we're good.
(tractor engine starts)
(engine revs, wheels scrape)
(grunts)
(acid jazz-style music)
(Gravel) Far. Should you drive down there?
We just got stuck. -She just went.
We don't wanna seem like we don't know what we're doing.
Go slow, though, yeah?
(Heather) Do you know there's a couple of Asian blokes in the camper?
-What? Chinese?
-Yeah. Think so.
Sam and...
some other guy.
(uneasy music)
He's done this before, right?
Why else would he be out here?
In and out in a few hours. It'll all be over soon.
Come on.
(tense music)
(Ed) She'll do the job.
-But she's all good to go, right? -(Gravel) Yeah. Uh, all checked by the guy we got it from.
-Hey, Ed, there's no bung. -Bung?
Yeah. They're the things that you put in the boat to stop it sinking.
Right. Uh, bungs.
Um, I'm sure they're here somewhere.
Ah, here it is.
Bung.
So, who did you say you got to check your boat over?
- Uh, Do... Do...
-Dodge. -Dodge, ugh!
I wouldn't trust him to shine my hubcaps.
- Gee, this engine looks like it's on its last legs. - Really?
Uh, can't we just take it out the once and then, uh, get it back in?
Yeah, I suppose,
but I wouldn't guarantee it.
-It's up to you. -Uh, right.
We'd just really like to get those ashes out today, you know?
(Ed) Yeah, I totally get it, mate. Pay your respects.
Look, I'll see what I can do.
(chuckles) He's just really excited to get out on the water.
That's the spirit. You heard the man. Let's get it done.
-So, uh...
So, where are you from? -Oh, uh, Brisbane.
Like, I spend time here in NZ working...
- Mm-hm. - ...but my girlfriend and kid are back home.
- Ah. - Yeah.
- Our boy Louie's got another one on the way. Can't keep it in his pants.
(both chuckle)
-So, how old's your first one? -He's 3.
-Aw. -Yeah.
-There's no oil.
You guys got any? -Uh, no.
Do we?
Uh, I can run to the store, pick some up.
Sure. Um, just one moment.
Here. Thank you.
-Louie, go help the lady. -(Heather) No, no, I'm good.
Go with her.
Go.
-(Ed) Get me something to eat. -(Heather) Sausage roll? -Yeah.
-Whatever they got. -Yeah!
Huh?!
(tense atmospheric music)
-(Heather) So, is he your brother? -(Louie) My brother?
Yeah, you know, the one who died?
Oh, yeah, my brother.
But he was a toko to all of us.
Toko?
Toko means brother in Tongan. Yeah, he was like a brother to all of us Tongans.
- Mm-hm.
God, it's so hard losing someone so close, eh?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
In this life... (clears throat) sometimes you lose people.
-So, do you miss your kid? -Yeah, every day.
I wish I didn't have to be here, you know?
It's just so hard to get a job. And then once you're in, you're in.
You know?
Why do you think I make so much chow chow?
(both chuckle)
(Heather) I won't be sec. Don't come in.
If Tina sees you, she'll ask you 20 questions, and you'll never get away to farewell your brother.
OK. (chuckles)
(bell dings) - Hey, hey. - So, he got it done. Snip, snip!
(Heather) Oh, good old Michael. How'd it go?
Oh, well, the way he's carrying on, you would have thought he was the first.
(laughs) Really?
(Tina) This morning, I heard a scream, so I rushed down the hallway to see who died.
There he is, naked, looking at his balls, saying,
'They're black! Nobody said they were gonna go black.'
- So what did you do? - I got him a bag of frozen peas,
and I said to him he should count himself lucky.
You know, every month, we shed a part of our uterus.
He only has to worry about a few days of black balls.
Then I came to work.
- Why are you buying the oil? - Oh, we're helping some townies launch a boat down at Shippies,
and they didn't have any.
Oh. Townies. (register beeps) Oh, well, good luck.
-Frozen peas for dinner? -Oh, Michael's cooking, so probably.
I'll see you at aerobics. -Yeah, see you there.
It's all go. Should land late tonight.
Are you sure this time?
Shit. You two text more than lovers.
Just keeping on top of it.
Here it is. (phone bleeps)
(reads text)
Then he does an emoji of, like, a wave, boat and cash.
(Blaze) Once it's on the beach, our syndicate pays 50 million to Tse,
then it's our responsibility. You understand?
You guys, no excuses, right?
They're a lock. Laundry lands. Tall guy drives the Chinese guys back.
Bury one half. The other half the rest of them load into the camper,
stay at a safe house and then drive it back down tomorrow.
Good job, Thugga.
When it comes through, you should treat yourself.
(seagulls call)
(strains)
(sighs)
(Ed) When this boat was new, it would have been a pretty good rig.
-Yeah. Still a nice boat.
- So, look, we'll get the oil in. We should be good to go. - OK.
So, whose brother was he?
(car door closes)
He was my brother, um...
But, you know, he was— he was like a brother to all us boys.
(Ed) Yeah. It's always tough to lose someone close.
Ka aroha, brothers.
(Heather) And here's your change.
Uh, don't worry about it. You keep it. It's not an issue.
No, no, it's yours.
Seriously, you keep it — you know, for all your help.
(Ed) OK. We're good to go!
(seagulls call)
Um, we've just gotta get the urn. Gravel, would you mind if...
(door clunks open)
(sighs) Which one?
(scoffs) No toko of mine would be caught in that love heart shit.
Easy, brah!
I've prepared a small speech.
(sombre acoustic guitar music)
Dear God and power...
please take our brother into the sky.
Let him live there forever with you...
by your side...
until we see him again soon.
But hopefully not too soon.
Louie.
Goodbye.
Forever.
(shouts) Tokos for life!
And now death.
(sombre music continues)
You made everything bright and light.
Shine on, my dox.
(sobs loudly)
(Gravel continues weeping)
(Gravel) Well said, lads.
- (whispers) It was his brother. - I thought it was Louie's brother.
(crying continues)
Goodbye, brother.
Uh, Sam. Take this, please.
- Are you guys not going? - Oh, nah, mate. I'm, uh... I'm a bit crook, eh?
- Uh... I don't like, um...
large areas of water.
- Yeah, I'm not really a bath guy.
- Don't like boats.
So none of you are gonna go out there with him?
Those two are gonna handle the spreading of the ashes. We've, uh...
We've passed on the torch, so to speak.
(gulls call, waves roll)
OK. We'll get this done, then, huh?
(tractor engine starts)
(expectant drum music)
(tractor revs)
(upbeat jazz funk music)
Start the engine!
Sam, get him to start the engine!
It's not working!
Turn the key on, push the button!
(engine roars into life)
OK.
-(Ed) OK. Get ready! -Yep.
I'm going to push you off the trailer now!
Looks good.
Well, it's like a mill pond out there. He just needs to turn the boat and go.
Even Carly could do it.
Your dog can drive your boat?
Nice!
(upbeat music continues)
(engine mount whirrs)
(strains) (gears clunk)
(engine roars)
(engine mount whirrs)
What's he doing?
(water sploshes, engine stops)
(in English) The motor's not going down!
OK. No worries. The stern leg must be broken.
I'm gonna have to check it out.
The what?
That's that thing that makes the prop go up and down.
(sombre music)
(coughs and wheezes)
What's his deal?
(Sam) Uh, he just loved the brother so much, you know?
He just wants to go out there, do the thing.
Oh yeah. I know what it's like to lose somebody.
OK, it's just a fuse. No big deal.
(Ed) Can you grab another 15 amp from the truck?
Yeah, 15 amp.
- So, he knows what he's doing, right? - Yeah, yeah, of course.
Um, but do you mind showing me anyway, just cos it's my first time and everything?
Yeah. All good.
Yeah. We'll keep it simple.
So, I'm gonna jerk the boat off the trailer, right?
OK.
(Ed) Then you push down this button, the stern leg.
-Is that the motor? -Yeah. Yeah, the propeller bit.
Then put it into reverse.
Turn the boat around, into neutral, forward
and head out over the waves.
(Ed) OK?
OK. Yeah.
I got it.
(Heather) Here, dear.
Oh thank you, hon.
OK, let's try that. Have a look.
(Sam) OK.
(stern leg whirrs) Is she going down?
Yeah. Yeah, that's going down.
Going up? (stern leg whirrs)
-Yeah, it's working.
-OK.
We're good to go. - (Gravel) Yes!
(Heather) You're lucky to have Ed, you know, fixing as you go.
- Yeah, oath. You know, the value keeps going up and up.
-Now that it's fixed. -Yeah.
And you can scatter your brother's ashes.
Yeah, that too.
(hip-hop music plays)
(phone dings)
(Heather) So, uh, your— your Chinese mate there —
how long's he been driving boats?
(Stevie) Oh, he's actually very experienced. He has all the captain's tickets.
- (Heather) Wow. - So, yeah. - Yeah.
-I'm gonna back the boat in. -OK.
(expectant drum music)
(tractor starts)
(Ed) Start the engine!
(engine starts)
OK, let's go!
(thud!) Hey!
(stern leg whirrs)
(metallic clunk)
Huh?
What are you doing?!
I think the motor hit the bottom of the beach!
(Ed) You've come too close! You bloody beached it!
(Sam) He says it's OK! It's all under control!
(wave crashes) Aah! Whoa.
(Ed) Do it one more time. The tide's going out. This is getting bloody dangerous!
We understand.
Thank you! Thank you!
Bloody idiots.
What the fuck are you two doing in here?
Far, didn't you see what just happened?
- Yeah. Are they going again? - Yeah.
So it doesn't explain why you two are fucking in here.
Brah, it's cold. (phone dings, vibrates)
Bruh. What did the boss say?
(Mack) He says get the fuck out of the truck.
We're supposed to be burying your brother. Get out there and start saying goodbye.
Dox.
Did you see me cry? Unbelievable. (laughs)
Dox, De Niro type shit, eh! Did you see that?
Bro, siana, you're really convincing. I really thought you lost your brother.
But get the fuck out there and pretend you're scattering fucking ashes! Fuck's sakes!
Get the fuck out of here, the both of you!
We could just get Ed to get his boat
and go out there and scatter the ashes.
Thank you. That's a really lovely gesture. But, um, these guys want to do it.
And, uh, you know, it's really important to them, um, and to us.
Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
How do the Chinese guys know him? I mean, your mate, I mean.
Um, he was...
really well loved by... everyone. He just got on with everyone.
What, including the guy who can't speak English?
Uh, yeah, the um... the bro spoke Chinese.
He... He learnt it at school.
A Tongan speaking Chinese. That's rare.
He went to China, actually, as an exchange student.
Wow.
A Tongan in China. That's a bit different.
Yep. He really was. Really was.
-(Ed) Ok, you're going to turn the engine on, push the button.
Then push this one down. (stern leg whirrs)
Stern leg.
Then reverse.
Turn it at 180 degree, that way.
Then forward.
And away you go, over the wave, straight into it.
He says "Thank you for your lesson."
It's just a little bit more difficult than where he's from, that's all.
Yeah, yeah, all good. Let's just get these ashes spread.
Thank you.
-(Heather) Everything OK? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back them in as far as I can go.
That way, it'd be impossible for them to beach their boat.
And if it wasn't for their dead brother, I wouldn't even be bothered.
(Heather) I know.
OK, let's get this over and done with.
-(Heather) Yep. -Get them out of our lives.
(tractor starts up)
(expectant drum music)
- You think he'll be OK this time? - Well, he's had enough practice.
Like, he'll still be able to get out there and get the job done, right?
Yes. And your brother will get the send-off he deserves.
(Ed) So get ready! I'm gonna pull away now!
(screams)
(Ed) When the trailer is clear, turn the boat around and go!
-(Ed) Go, go!
(engine starts)
(stern leg whirrs)
(exclaims)
(engine revs)
Is he coming towards us?
No!
(exclaims)
Oh my God! (screams)
Reverse! (gears crunch)
-What the fuck is that sound? -Ahh!
Turn around, you fuckin' idiot.
(Sam screams)
(Ed) Whoa, whoa!
(grinding)
- Shit. Fucking useless piece of shit. - Oh shit.
(Ed) Sam, I thought I showed you what to do.
(Sam) He says it was an accident. Won't happen again.
Well, it won't happen again all right, that's for sure.
- What the fuck just happened?! - These guys don't know how to drive a boat, that's what's happened.
How do you expect to get out and get the fucking job done if you can't even get off the beach?!
Guys, just settle down, OK? There's no point blaming each other.
Let's just load it up and get these ashes out to sea, please.
Well, that's not gonna happen. Your boat's broken.
- Sorry, what? - (Ed) Yeah, he's bent the pushrod.
The boat's not going anywhere. You're done for the day.
(Sam ) He says he's, uh... ashamed of the accident that he's caused.
Where's he going?
(Sam) Tired, I think. Jet lag. I'll just go check up on him.
- Well, I'm gonna go teach aqua aerobics. You all right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll see you at home, huh? - OK.
Go and sort it out and drop them off to the hotel.
(Louie) Hey, you don't think they... think something's up?
Nah. Besides big boss crashing our boat, our cover story's legit.
You saw Gravel. Oscar performance.
Heather, hi. Um, we just wanted to...
give you a bit of a token of our appreciation for all of your work.
Oh, no, no, no, no, it's fine.
We were just helping you bury your brother.
We insist.
(tense music)
Go on. Please take it.
Well, it's...
Wow. It's not necessary, but, um...
thank you.
Well, it's a shame it didn't work out, but I'm sure we'll see each other again.
- Not likely. Not with that boat. - Well, we'll get it fixed.
See you soon. - OK.
OK. See ya.
(game bleeps)
(phone rings)
- Ed. - Yeah, mate, you're gonna have to take practice tonight.
Yeah. I'm down Shipwrecks Bay, helping these guys launch their boat. They're bloody idiots.
It's only supposed to take 30 minutes, but it stretched out.
I know the feeling, mate. Took me five minutes
to pass level 433, but 434 — mate, I've been on it for hours.
Some things just take time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, is Toia there?
- Nah, she's lazy. - Can you go get her?
Nah. If she doesn't wanna be here, she doesn't wanna be here.
Seriously, mate, can you just go get her, please?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Hold your horses. I'll sort it.
- OK. Thanks, mate.
- Where's Ed? - He's being held up.
This is us. All of us today.
So go and do some sprints.
Go! Go! Go!
(game bleeps)
(jazz funk music)
(bike engine revs loudly)
- (chuckles) Sounds mean. - How do you like those bars? All right?
- Oh, nah, they're dope. - I can make them a little smaller if you like.
- Nah, nah, nah. I can handle that. Go big or go home. - Yeah.
- Work hard, ride hard, as they say. - Mean.
Can I test-ride? - Yeah. You're just gonna have to wear a helmet, that's all.
Insurance. - All G.
(jazz funk music)
(phone beeps and vibrates)
(notification dings)
Shit.
(man) Thugga!
Thugga!
(funky synth music continues)
(knocks on door)
What are you doing here? Don't come here unless Tall Guy's here.
Look, he crashed it.
Shit. Get out. Get out, get out.
What do you mean? - The Chinese dude crashed the boat on to the shore.
- With the laundry? - No, he didn't even get out.
- Shit, Thugga. What do you want me to do?
- I don't know. I just... thought I'd let you know.
Is this the boat that your guys bought?
- Well, yeah, but— - Yeah, I'll tell you this once. The Chinese are the best at this.
And if the boat crashed, I can only imagine whose fault it was.
Fix it.
(Heather) Back and forward. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.
Keep going.
So, what are you having tonight, Tina?
- I'm thinking a pot pie. - Ooh, I love a pot pie.
Hey, what do you think those guys you were helping today on the boat are having?
Well, if they cook like they launch boats, probably nothing. (all laugh)
Oh, the best part of the story was when they handed their brother to the Chinese guy.
(laughing)
Those guys, right?!
Well, they're someone else's problem now, thankfully.
(Heather) OK, now swing the leg, side... to side.
(tractor rumbles)
What are you gonna do about the boat?
Brah, look. I know it's broken, but it's still a good boat and should be worth something. Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Something.
Can you fix it for us?
Ooh, I don't know about that, mate. I know a guy in town, though. - Dodge?
No, no, no, not Dodge.
(Mack) Can you at least have a look at it? We want to get finished up ASAP, like.
Money's no issue. We'll pay you whatever.
(Gravel) Yeah, and it's already on your tractor, brah, you know? The camper van doesn't have a tow bar.
Stevie and the Asian guys, they already took off in the other ride.
Yeah, OK, well, I'll take it home and have a look at it anyway. Can't promise anything, though.
(Mack) My man. We'll be in touch. Get it working, eh?
-Yeah, all good, I'll have a look. (tractor starts)
(smooth, percussive music)
(music continues)
(Mack) Is there a tech store open in Kaitaia?
Noel Leeming is open until 7, I think.
Brah! Are we gonna upgrade our walkies?
No, we're not upgrading our walkies.
Go and buy an iPhone for the Chinaman.
- They're gonna call home? - So they can learn how to launch a fucking boat on YouTube!
Hey.
Good idea, boss. - Fucking hell, man!
Hey, Louie! Take us to Noel Leeming, brah.
(ominous music)
(Hui chuckles)
(tense music)
(phone bleeps)
(tense atmospheric sting)
I know, I know. But it's a payphone, like fucking nowhere.
And after that idiot crashed the boat and everything with Stevie,
I just needed to— -(Thugga) Slow down. Fucking breathe.
Who saw? -Who saw what?
The boat crash.
No one.
Well, a couple of people — the ones we hired to help us launch it.
Yeah, I guess they saw. -Who are they? They look like the talking type?
Nah, cover story was solid.
You should've seen Gravel, crying and shit.
- What?
-Don't worry, bro. It's fine. -You sure they ain't gonna talk?
Because if they did, you'd have to do something about it.
(dark music)
(leaves rustle)
(dark tense music plays)
(sighs)
(tense music continues)
How are you feeling?
(Carmen) Like I'm gonna burst at any moment.
- Yeah. When are you due again? - Louie, if you don't know the actual date, I will leave you.
Uh, three weeks...
I think. - 14 days, Louie.
14 days. You better be there.
- OK. I will be, OK? Promise. - You've been promising for weeks.
Yeah. It'll be worth it. Debt paid and we'll be cashed up.
Be like I'm on maternity leave or whatever it's called.
(soft music)
Just a few more days. Promise me?
I...
I have to be here.
Till it's done.
I promise.
-OK. -Are you sure?
Well, if it really is ashes, we can just pour them back in.
Then we'll know they're just useless at launching boats.
- And driving boats. - And boat safety - And buying boats.
- Anything to do with boats, really. - (chuckles)
But if it's not...
I don't really wanna think about it.
(dark, intriguing music)
(music intensifies)
(gentle acoustic guitar music)
Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.
www.able.co.nz Able 2023