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[yells]
[grunts]
Fuck!
[groans]
Skateboarding has gotten me through
everything I've ever experienced in my life.
People are like, "Are you Lacey Baker?" And I'm like, "Yeah."
-[skateboards popping] -[chuckles]
It's pretty crazy.
I fully can't even, like, look at footage of me
from, like, age 13 to, like, 18.
Lacey Baker was this fucking person that got put together
by just the world around me.
[crowd cheering]
I had to, like, become this person
and then having all of my dreams riding on that.
How could somebody not choose that?
[inspiring music playing]
[sportscaster 1] She's been a dominant force in women's skateboarding
for a very long time.
[sportscaster 2] You just don't see anybody else doing what Baker's doing.
[sportscaster 3] Lacey Baker's first ever gold medal.
[sportscaster 4] Seven X Games medals.
Super Crown champion 2016 and 2017.
A legend in women's skateboarding.
[crowd cheering]
[inspiring music continues]
[music fades out]
[skateboard wheels rattling]
[sniffles]
[exhales]
[skateboard thuds]
[skater] Do you think you could, uh, drop in on here
and do like two kickflips before you… before you got to there?
Oh my God. Okay, challenge accepted.
Have you ever tried that in like a… in like a ramp
where you try to drop in and do a trick on the flatbottom?
-[chuckling] No. -It's like a recipe for disaster. [laughs]
-[skateboard pops] -[chuckles]
Okay.
[Baker] I really became obsessed with skating
once I started trying to land a kickflip.
What is happening?
I remember when I finally landed it, my whole world just, like, exploded.
It was so like-- Just that feeling.
And I still get that feeling whenever I learn a new trick.
It never goes away.
-[cameraman chuckles] -I fucking did a front crook!
[cameraman chuckles]
Oh my God! [laughs]
[cameraman chuckles]
The last time I tried that shit, I was like 16 at Westco Park.
-Just… Whoom! -[cameraman] Yeah.
And then I was like, "Nope. I'm not doing that trick in my life."
-Oh my God. -Yeah.
-What, did you get rub in it? -Yeah.
[both chuckle]
[sportscaster 1] Skateboarding hits the big stage in Tokyo.
[sportscaster 2] Right. Skateboarding is finally coming to the Olympics.
[sportscaster 3] It's a substantial milestone for a sport
that 25 years ago was considered anything but mainstream.
-[indistinct chatter] -[gentle music playing]
-How's it going? -Good. Good to see you.
Yeah, you too.
-[skater] How you doing? -Good. How are you?
-You been good? -[Baker] What's up?
[audience clapping]
So we're here today for the USA National Team announcement.
These skaters, through their own dedication
to something that they love,
have now provided themselves
an opportunity to get the Olympics in Tokyo 2020.
[Baker] It's the first time skateboarding ever has been in the Olympics,
so I want to make it there.
[Jenn] Still can't really believe it to see how far skateboarding has come.
So this even being an opportunity is insane.
[Josh] Alexis Sablone.
[audience cheering]
[Alexis] It's the ultimate competition. It's a huge honor.
So yeah, I mean, I think I would regret it forever
if I didn't try as hard as I could to get there.
But it's weird,
and how it will change skateboarding is a question mark.
[Josh] Next up, Lacey Baker.
[all cheering]
Another veteran of the women's contest scene.
[Baker] It's a pretty historic event.
Lacey has been seen putting it down for years.
[Baker] You have to qualify to make it,
so there's gonna be a lot of competing.
It just makes me feel nervous.
So, congratulations.
-Yay. -[audience cheering]
Thanks.
[Josh] …see what you're gonna do.
These are your 2019 USA Skateboarding Women's National Team.
-[audience continues cheering] -[camera shutter clicks]
Thank you.
[man] I definitely saw Leo as very talented early on.
You could tell that there was… there was a determination there
that was beyond his years.
[inspiring music playing]
[Alexis] Lee is one of the most skilled people
on a skateboard.
They do riskier tricks that are, for most of us, like,
no one can do that first try.
No one's trying to do that in a competition.
[audience cheers]
[man 2] There's a lot of confidence in the tricks,
but also, there's a lot of technical skill
threading tricks together, like, one really powerful flip trick
and then a really hard manual trick.
It's a very specific style of skateboarding,
and it's one that requires crazy perseverance.
[skater] Leo's consistent because he practices a lot.
Seeing him try a trick for two hours,
it's kind of inspiring to see someone skate like that.
You have to have mind and skill.
Like, you have to be one with your board,
so you can flip it, catch it, land in the manual,
-and then flip it back out. -[filmer] Whoo!
[Neen] You know? And that takes a lot of mind power. That's like what Lee does.
[Josh] We're looking forward to watching
their level of skating continue to increase.
-I love you. -I love you too, Mom.
-[Josh] On with the guys. -All right. That's for you.
-Yay, another for me. -Yeah, that prize is for Mom right there.
[audience cheers]
[Leo] It would be really special for a person like me
just to be visibly queer on such a global scale,
but also, being trans,
I feel really out of place, um, in that setting.
-[dog barking] -[gentle music playing]
Hi.
[food sizzling in pan]
[Leo] You know what I was thinking about?
Putting a desk in here and making that into a living room.
[sighs] The never-ending…
[chuckles] …home-improvement project.
Well, here's why it's an improvement, because I think it'd be…
[Leo] It's really important to be with someone
who, like, really understands you.
Mel is one of the most kind, loving, and supportive people
I've ever met in my life.
Wait, so we'd get rid of your desk.
Well, my desk is an amplifier with a piece of wood on it.
-So, that's not really a desk. -[both chuckle]
-Okay. And then… -[chuckling continues]
[Mel] I'm not involved in the skate world at all,
and until I met Lee, I didn't know anything.
But we had so much fun together.
He was just really easy to get close with immediately.
[Donna] There. You think you're gonna come?
Yeah, Lee will be there.
[clears throat] I think I get in on… maybe like the first.
Because I have to shoot, um, a skate video thing.
And then… then it's just the contest weekend, so…
[Donna] You're coming in on the 26th--
[Leo] In the industry, I've always been known as Lacey Baker.
With close friends and family, I prefer to be called Leo.
-[sirens wailing] -[dog barking]
Not a lot of people know that, especially in the industry,
just because it's like…
I mean, I don't know why. I… [sighs]
It's a process that I'm going through and like discovering myself and…
I don't know. Fuck. I don't know.
The industry is just a big… thing, like, for people to know about that.
I don't know.
[Mel] When I met Leo, I asked what pronouns he preferred.
[ticket machine whirring, beeps]
And he kind of nervously responded quickly, like, "Uh, she/her is fine."
He was like, "No one's ever asked me that before."
[Leo] Like, I just was, like, avoidant.
But literally, the next day, it was like, "Actually…"
She was just like, "Yeah, I'm queer. I get it."
To have space to explore those things about myself
alongside somebody who, like, really understands,
it was like immediate freedom.
-[indistinct chatter] -[chuckles]
[Mel] There was one night where he opened up
and just poured everything out to me…
[indistinct announcement over PA]
…telling me that he was trans and he's known for a really long time
but just sort of, like, pushed it down.
It would be impossible for him to come out because of his career.
And he has to choose between being his authentic self
and his career that he's worked so hard for.
[audience cheers]
[Leo] It got to a point for me where I felt like I'm living a split life.
[audience cheering]
I know in what space I'm gonna be Lacey and when I can just be me.
[producer] You afraid of some sort of backlash?
[inhales]
-[sighs] -[footsteps tapping away]
[cameraman] Smile for us, sweet ladies.
[indistinct chatter]
[cameraman] Right there. Right there.
Nice. Oh, fix the jacket so I can see the Nike.
Real quick, for your team.
-Team official headshot right there. -[camera beeping]
Right. You work it.
[Alexis] Lee is a good friend of mine that I've known for years
but is also internationally known and respected as someone else.
So it's confusing if I'm talking about "Lee" and "he."
I don't want them to, like, miss out on the credit
of, like… [chuckles] …their reputation, basically.
-Turn around. -[camera shutter clicks]
-[Leo] Sick. -[producer] All right, girls. Yes, girls.
All right. Right there.
[Alexis] I can't really imagine how it feels for Lee.
I mean, even for me, it's just like,
"Okay, ladies." Like, it doesn't fit what you're doing.
[camera shutter clicks]
It feels like you're… been put in this category,
the ladies category. You're like, "No, we're just skateboarders."
-[photographer] Give me some… Work it. -[camera shutter clicks]
I don't want to work it. [chuckles]
[photographer] AZ, can you make her smile? Someone make her smile.
-Come on, make her smile. -[producer] Yes!
[Leo] So, right now, there's a lot of emphasis on the Olympics.
[Leo sighs]
And that is so far off from where skateboarding came from.
[skater] Slow down! Slow down!
[gentle music playing]
[groans]
[chuckles]
[Alexis] When I started skating in the '90s,
if you told somebody
that skateboarding was gonna be in the Olympics right now,
they would laugh in your face and walk away, you know?
You didn't even call yourself an athlete.
Skateboarding was not a sport. It's like the anti-jock.
It's for everybody. It's a lot more than how it's gonna appear on TV.
[Leo] We were skating because we love it so much…
[chuckles, groans]
…not to win contests.
[scoffs] Getting… getting schooled by, like, a 15-year-old.
That time period in our lives, when we were all young,
and there was no money in it,
and we were just skateboarding 'cause we loved it was super special.
Whoo!
Ah! Whoo!
[Leo] What do you think of that?
-Wonderful. Yeah. -[Leo] Pretty good?
-Very good. They're experts. -[Leo chuckles]
I thought it was only for boys, you know, but I never saw girls doing it.
[Leo chuckles]
That was it. I mean, we're just like little skaters.
-[Leo] What are you doing? -[speaks indistinctly]
[rock music plays through headphones]
It's funny because I didn't speak English.
And then, the only way we could communicate
was, like, punching each other. [chuckles]
So that's… that's how we became friends.
[all chuckling]
[filmer] Whoo!
[indistinct chatter]
-[Leo] So, what are you doing, Vanessa? -Some fucking shit, dude.
Our generation was just all about going out and skating and learning tricks.
-[Leo] Yes! -[clapping, whistles]
[Vanessa] And now there's an objective.
And with the Olympics, it's like, "Gold."
So, are you doing two decimal, or is it on a one to ten?
Um, for the park, it will be, uh, zero to a hundred.
-Okay, so… -Two decimals.
-[Josh] Street should be one decimal. -[Vanessa] One to ten, yeah.
That's rad, though.
It breaks down all the logistics literally right there underneath, like, each rider.
You guys know the rules for the trick counting?
-If you're in a transition, it counts. -[skater] Yeah.
Um, if you haven't tapped your tail on a street trick, it doesn't count.
[audience cheering]
Olympics is honestly a language
that I don't think any of us know as skateboarders.
That makes our job really hard,
because it's like, you have a technical trick
and then you just have this fucking massive carcass toss thing.
You know what I mean? So it's like, how do they measure up?
You need to be pushing boundaries of skateboarding and what is possible.
-[clapping] -[upbeat music playing]
[Josh] Thank you guys for coming out. Super proud to see where we're headed
in this road to Tokyo 2020.
♪ Electricity Put it through the concrete ♪
♪ Big shot… ♪
At its core, skateboarding is so difficult… [chuckles]
…that anyone that can do it gets the respect.
-[audience cheering] -[announcer speaking indistinctly]
[crowd] Aw!
Today, you can pick up a basketball, and you can make a hoop.
I guarantee you would not be able to ollie in one day.
They should be Olympians. They should have gold medals.
The narrative I hate is that we're lucky to be there.
Like, pfft. "You're lucky to have us there."
[upbeat music playing]
♪ All-night reverie Melting in the city heat ♪
Really solid. Had a great mix. Skated the whole course.
She got some flip tricks, skated the rails.
The whole kit and caboodle.
-How's that? -Good.
[Mimi] The stakes are higher than they've ever been.
Yeah!
[Mimi] The competition is stronger than it's ever been.
Ultimately, who has the best overall top scores
stays on the team.
[man in audience] Yeah. What's up, boy?
[sighs]
[chuckles]
I really can't, like, afford in this moment
to, like, get surgery and not be able to skate, so…
They're being asked to do something that's never been done before.
It's like we used to just have these contests that are just spread out
maybe three, four times a year, you know?
And now we have a set schedule that's one back-to-back contest.
Even when you're skating these contests,
you still have to focus on working out, physical therapy. Everything is work.
[Mimi] It's a lot to adjust to.
Even more so for the people that have been in this for a while.
[Leo sighs] Definitely getting through this year of competition
is just gonna be like,
all of my focus and energy on, like, my physical strength,
my mental health, and, like, my ability to skate.
[audience clapping]
The impact of making it to the Olympics would be pretty big,
and I'm in a position where I could potentially make it there.
-Yeah! -Yes!
-And that is time right there. -Amazing.
[Mimi] Lee is a pioneer in the space.
Hands down, Lee earned this spot.
[Vanessa] Lee is one of the hardest-working people that I know.
I would love to see…
them get there.
I think that they're totally capable of doing it.
The question is, is their heart in it? You know what I mean?
[announcer speaking indistinctly]
-[indistinct chatter] -[dog barking]
[Leo exhales]
[Leo] Things occurred to me very late,
which is surprising, considering that I can look back on that
and be like, "Oh yeah, all that was there."
And when I was younger, I remember just being like,
"No, like, I'm a boy."
It's like I knew that
and then it got lost in the fucking ether of, like, capitalism.
[audience cheering]
[Sam] Lee, for years, was the star of women's skating.
[inspiring music playing]
Anything that was being said about Lee, it was like, "Female, female, female."
And they just, like, branded him.
[Leo] Lacey Baker, long blond hair.
They just associated me with that,
like that was some kind of trademark or something,
but it's never what I wanted.
I remember being in meetings, it was like a conversation amongst adults,
of them being like, "All the way down to, like, the name."
"Lacey Baker. It's so marketable."
[girl] Hard flip.
[all together] Ah!
[Leo] "Well, you're on the girls' team. You have to wear girls' clothes."
So, it was lots of pressure to dress more feminine,
and that's when things started getting super uncomfortable.
[Sam] I think it was something every company wanted him to do.
"Dress this way. Be this way. You're a skater and a punk,
but, like, don't be that weird."
I would pay to, like, hear someone be like,
"So here's the girl we're thinking you should be."
[Leo] People were just seeing me as marketable,
wearing all these women's clothes to sell a product.
They're just like, "Oh, just change this one thing about yourself."
"Just change this one thing." And I'm like,
"If I change that, then I level up."
And I'm just like, "This means I get to skate."
I mean, I was so young.
How could I even see?
[door hinge creaks]
[exhales]
[chuckles]
-[Leo] What are you doing? -[Mel] Putting socks on.
Thinking about stealing one of your shirts.
[Leo] Okay, go ahead.
Maybe this one.
[Leo] That one's dirty, but you can wear it.
[sniffs] Mmm.
[Mel] When he's at home, he's started to feel this acceptance
within the queer community, like, "I can be who I am,"
and then goes to work
or goes to shoot a video or travel to do a contest or whatever,
-and there's so much emphasis… -[cheering]
…on the fact that he's a "female" skater.
And for someone's profession to focus around what your gender is,
and you're not that gender, that's crazy.
He's like, "I've worked my whole to get here."
"I'm finally able to support myself doing what I love,
and I can't throw it away because I need to come out as trans."
To see him go through this is…
I can't do anything to fix it, and that, I think, is the hardest part.
[silverware clanking]
[food sizzles]
[Leo] Right now, I'm on this journey of what's gonna work for me.
I'm trying to be comfortable in my body.
I'm 27 now, and it's been a long process to even get to this place,
but I'm just at the beginning of the road still.
If I was living a different life,
I might just transition and move to a new city
and live happily ever after.
But I'm in a space where I have to have a conversation about it with the world,
and I don't want to.
This is my high school right here.
When we had half days, we would skate behind this Albertsons.
There's just, like, flat ground around there.
We'd go and, like, skate after school sometimes.
[Vanessa] Adolescence and skateboarding is, like, all about loading docks.
-Dude, yeah. Kickflip everything. -[Vanessa] Let me see what I can…
What's the highest thing that I can jump off of?
Now it's, what's the lowest thing that I can skate?
[Leo] Yeah, definitely.
Hello?
-Hey, Mom. -[Donna] Hi!
-[Leo] Hi, Mama. -Hi.
[both chuckle]
-[Vanessa] Smells like home. -How are you?
-[Vanessa] Hi. How are you doing? -I'm good. How are you?
Oh, I love you so much.
-[Vanessa] Good to see you. -[Donna] I missed you.
[Vanessa] Well, it looks great in here, Ma.
[Leo] Oh my God. There's so much stuff in here. Oh my God!
-I can't believe this, dude. -[Vanessa] Oh my--
-Who in the… -I've known you this long.
-[Vanessa] Babies. -[Leo] Dude, look at this poster.
[Donna] That was your first poster you were ever put on.
"Kickflips and fish sticks." Like, what is that? [chuckles]
These are the shoes that Lacey was wearing
when she made it into the semis at the Tampa Am in 2008.
-Wait, those are sick-ass shoes. -My mom--
Every time I heard people referring to him as Lee,
I'm just like, "Why can't I do that?" It just… I want to do it so bad.
-That is Evan. -[Leo] Oh my God, I need that.
[chuckles]
Because I know she's a boy.
He's a boy.
I will get it. I will.
Who made this? Mom, who made this?
-I have no idea. -It is elaborate.
[Leo] Someone made a serious scrapbook.
Look what it says on the back.
-Skateboard Princess. -Wow.
[chuckles]
Dude. I should change my Instagram handle to this.
[Vanessa] Yes.
[indistinct chatter]
Welcome to Northview High School's Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony.
The first inductee epitomizes a Hall of Fame candidate.
USA Skateboarding National Team member for the 2020 Olympics.
Her accomplishments are staggering.
[Leo] What's up? Yeah.
-Thanks for having me. How you doing? -I'm doing well.
-Cool. Nice to see you. -Congratulations on everything.
Thanks so much.
We're lucky. We don't have a lot of, uh, stand-out females,
but the two we have… [exhales]
…you and Tatiana…
-Yeah. -Yeah.
It's nice to have two world-class athletes around.
-Cool, man, thanks. -Yeah. Have fun in the Olympics.
[sighs]
-[Donna] That was awkward. -[chuckles]
I'm like, "Yeah…"
[chuckles]
It's just super awkward to be referred to as female.
It just feels really weird.
What do you think is in here?
[both chuckle]
[birds cawing]
[chuckles]
[Leo] Oh my God. So good to see you guys.
-[man] I know. -Check it out. Look at you.
[laughing] Oh fuck. That's so crazy.
Aw, look how cute you were.
You still are, but like, you were such a little cutie.
Well, the shop wouldn't be anything if it wasn't for the actual skateboarders,
and that's been a part of it.
All the kids come in to hang out and stuff
'cause there's, like, not many places to be around here in Covina.
-Staying out of trouble's kind of hard. -Yeah.
So this place gives you, like, more of a home,
'cause us kids that skateboard come from broken homes, right?
It's just like our family.
Yeah. [chuckles] Yeah.
[Donovon] Trying to make the most of it.
That was always the thing about skateboarding.
We would be able to go skate.
We could forget about all the troubles we already have at home.
[Leo] The Covina skateboarding community,
that's what saved my life.
[Donna] There was a lot of great times, and there was some good times,
but there was some bad times. There was some…
[inhales]
…heartbreak along the way.
I say I came out of the 1980s
with three beautiful children and an addiction to meth.
My mom and dad met in rehab. It's where I was conceived.
[Donna] When I had Lacey, I was in treatment.
And I got home, and not long after, I relapsed.
And then, um,
my sister had locked the door,
and they said, "You can't have your babies."
And I could hear Lacey behind the door, crying for me.
Calling, "Mommy, Mommy." Banging on the door.
I mean, how can I get that out of my head, ever?
[Leo] I just feel like I missed out on so much time with my family.
My dad was a rock star in bands and very talented.
Also, he was a junkie.
So, you know, it was a rocky road.
It cut his life short. I mean, he died, like, young.
[Donna] End up having to put them through foster care.
[Leo] I think I was three years old,
and I'd stand outside and watch my two foster brothers skate.
I would skate all the time and try to learn how to kickflip.
I love this photo.
[Donna] Which one is that?
Where it's my third birthday and you're there standing next to me.
Helping you blow out the candles?
[Leo] Yeah, and I'm like so little.
-How cute am I? -Teeny tiny.
-You were cute. -[chuckles]
I know.
My mom tried her absolute best to, like, get her shit together,
and she did, you know?
Camera real quick, Mom! Ah!
[Donna] I'm videoing, taping, or whatever.
My mom got us back, and so I was, like, living at home.
Adjust.
We hardly had anything, but, you know, she kept me skating
because it made me happy.
[announcer] She's got that one wired.
[Leo] My mom would drive me to competitions once a month.
-That was a majority of my teen years. -[Donna cheers] Lacey!
[Leo] Then I got sponsored.
-Oh wow. -These are all of the T-shirts.
[Leo] Oh yeah, from… My mom collected all the T-shirts
from the Damn Am and Tampa Am series anytime we'd go.
This you got at a Super Girl, and you were like,
"Yeah, no. I'm never gonna rock that stuff."
[chuckles] Wow.
[Donna] Like, nine months out of the year, we were on an airplane.
It was hard having the responsibility sometime as being manager.
Something would not go right over the weekend,
and I'd get home and get a phone call.
Like, "Why wasn't she wearing this and didn't have this on?"
And that's where, I think, a lot of the tension came
because I did find myself making sure,
"Okay. You got stickers, right? You got your T-shirts, right? Got this?"
And, God, I didn't wanna be that person.
I didn't wanna be that mom.
Because Ant and I went that day. We were all taking photos of you guys.
[Leo] I had my dreams that I wanted to fulfill,
but there was also my financial situation at home, like…
My mom wasn't exactly thriving.
She was, like, injured and, like, on workman's comp and shit.
And so, like, a lot of the income was, like, on my skating.
First big, grown-up trip.
[Leo] In 2008, at the Maloof Money Cup, I won $25,000.
That's what we lived on.
[Alex] If Leo had a choice when they were younger,
they would have never entered all these contests,
but, up until recently, there wasn't an option
for women skateboarders to have a career outside of competition.
[Leo] No brands really took girls skating seriously for many years.
So, it was like, if I win the one competition a year…
[announcer] Okay…
[Leo] …that was like the only way to win some money.
-[man] Second place. -[Donna] Second!
This was Leo's ticket out.
Leo was willing to go along with whatever needed to happen
to make money to survive and to be a skateboarder.
-[Leo] Are there more of these somewhere? -[Donna] Mmm…
[Leo] It's amazing to look back at all this stuff.
I've gone through many a transformation.
[Leo] Have you tried it ever before?
Like that. Like really grab my arms.
-Just stomp it. -[girl] Ready.
[indistinct chatter]
-[Leo] Whoo! We're just gonna go. Go! -[girl] You ready?
-[Leo sighs] Do you wanna take a break? -[girl] Uh, three time's a charm.
All right, we're going. Three time's a charm.
[girl chuckles]
-[cheering] -[Leo] Whoo!
-[girl] Thank you so much. -You're welcome.
How many days have you been skating?
[Leo] I felt a lack of inclusivity.
I felt like I didn't belong in skateboarding,
like there was no space for me.
And I know that there are other skaters that feel this.
I wanna do more events like this, get more people involved.
Create our own industry or something, you know?
Just like queer skate industry.
[cheering]
[Leo] Hello, everyone.
Thank you for coming to my event that we're all here. Whatever. Um…
[skater] We'll go around really quick. Just share your name,
pronouns, and one word that, uh, kind of describes, uh,
you know, how you are coming to the space right now.
I'm Gigi. I use she/her pronouns and, um…
[sucks teeth] …jazz.
I use he/him pronouns, um, privately, not really publicly right now.
Uh… [clears throat, sucks teeth]
Yeah, and I'm excited to actually learn
how to facilitate learning on the skateboard,
and I'm excited to be sharing this space with everyone here,
so thanks for coming.
[Leo] I felt really empowered after just saying it.
And it made me think, "Well, maybe I can,
you know, just, like, publicly talk about my gender identity
and, like, what I've felt my whole life."
I hope Lee comes out. I hope they tell the world they're trans.
You know what that would do for me, personally? Just being like,
shit, like, that's what we need, is someone who's got a big platform
to be like, "It's chill."
Like, it's chill.
Like… that would change the game.
-[upbeat music playing] -[crowd clamoring]
[inaudible]
[Mel] You want to talk to me about this outfit you have going on?
I don't know. Just feels good.
[Sam] Lee had kind of just found his stride in, like…
You can tell he was feeling this, like, masculinity.
It was really empowering and cool.
He was like, "I'm ready to, like, own this."
♪ Comin' out with a bang… ♪
And he was like, "I want to come into the studio."
"Let's take a bunch of portraits."
And we're just taking photos, and I'm like, "This is fucking dope."
[camera shutter clicks]
But I felt like that was a moment where he was like,
"I just don't give a shit anymore."
[keypad clicking]
[Leo] I wanted to post it because I like it.
That was just the first caption that came to mind.
Yeah, there are so many comments on this shit.
[somber music playing]
I obviously knew that those comments were coming,
so if I was to say, "I want he/him pronouns," publicly,
the whole world would be like, "Oh my God. You can't skate in these contests."
The Olympics are in July.
It's, like, eight months or so away, something like that.
And so I keep telling myself, like, "It's just so close."
"I might as well do it because it's so close."
I've been toughing things out for so long, and that's all I know.
And maybe I deserve to, like, pay attention to what my needs are.
I don't even try because I don't feel like I'm…
[inhales]
…I'm good enough. [exhales]
[phone line ringing]
[operator] Yes. Hi. How can I help you?
Hi, I wanted to set up an appointment for a consultation for top surgery.
[operator] Do you have your letter?
Uh…
No, I don't. What do I need a letter from?
[operator] From your therapist.
-Okay. -[operator] Clearing you for surgery.
Um, do you have a preferred name?
Nah, Lacey is good.
[operator] Okay.
[Mel] You don't want them to call you Lee?
[operator] And what is your address so I can register you?
I'm sorry. For my preferred name, can you actually have them call me Lee?
Just L-E-E.
[operator] Give me a sec. Let me--
Um, can we book that appointment?
But also, I have, like, a pretty intense travel schedule,
like, because I compete and travel for, like, skateboarding professionally,
and, uh, I was hoping that maybe I could book,
like, two or three appointments. Just so that--
[operator] I can't. Because I go according to what I have.
Based on my next available…
[Leo] The moment I discovered that you could get top surgery,
seven years ago or something, I've wanted to get it.
But every single month, I'm traveling nonstop for competitions.
I definitely don't have all the answers for what I'm trying to achieve.
[Leo] All right. Is that everything?
[Leo] I just, like… I'm taking steps that feel, like, right for me.
Kiss. [chuckles]
[gentle music playing]
[Leo] I'm excited.
I like when we get to go places together and stay in nice hotels.
Yeah.
And where are we right now?
We're at the Super Crown in Rio.
[crowd cheering]
[sportscaster] Baker. Coast-to-coast.
[Mel] All these people around him
were so excited that he was going to the Olympics,
his mom, his manager, me, his fans. Any single time he went to an interview,
it was like, "You are going to the Olympics?"
Whole career became, like, the Olympics.
I was like, "Do what makes you happy." But also,
"When are you gonna go to the Olympics again?"
"That's crazy, you know? Do that, like, if you can."
[inspiring music playing]
[Leo] Norway.
London.
[Mimi] We basically have no idea where we're gonna go, when we're gonna go.
We're in it for the adventure.
[Leo] Spain. Portugal.
Then on the Dew Tour.
[sportscaster 1] That's an easy day for Baker.
[sportscaster 2] Going for the long nose manual.
[Leo] Directly after that, I skated Minneapolis.
[sportscaster 3] Making their 14th X Games appearance.
[Mel] Yeah, so that's been four months of literally nonstop.
[chuckles]
Yeah, it's a lot.
We are in Mexico City.
[gentle music playing]
[Leo] I've thought about what would happen if I transitioned
and how would that affect my relationship with Mel.
The uncertainty of, like, how things will change
and how we will continue to relate to each other.
[chuckles]
[Mel] I mean, there's no way that I would never not be supportive,
but it is, like, slightly scary for me.
And I'm not gonna say I'll feel one way or the other.
Just… I'll see what happens, I guess.
[announcer] …one of five. What are we gonna see?
[crowd cheering]
[Leo] It would be really hard if we had to break up.
That's not what I want.
But I also wanna be happy and not be, like, avoiding
what I need to get done, you know?
I feel like watching those skate videos last night were long overdue for me.
I know. I've been telling you for a long time that I wanted to show you.
Alexis was like, "You've never seen Welcome to Hell?"
[Leo] That was like my fucking life. I watched it every day.
[Mel] What did your mom say?
She said, "The video is amazing. I gotta admit, I shed a little tear."
"The memories flood back. I love Melissa, and I love you."
Like, "Blech!"
Cute.
[Leo yawns] Fuck.
[Mel] After we get back to New York,
you'll have a month until you have to go out again, right?
[Leo] Ten days.
Okay, that's true. That's actually not very much time at all.
[Leo] Oh my God, and then my second appointment.
[Mel] Oh yeah. That's coming soon.
But I just want to ask about how I want the scars to look and stuff.
[Mel] Mmm. Interesting. I didn't know you could do that.
And then you get to pick, like, your nipple size and stuff, I guess.
[Mel] Crazy. What size nipple do you want?
-[Leo] Regular. -[chuckles]
Just so it all looks normal?
[Leo] And then, like, set the date.
[Mel chuckles] Day after Tokyo.
[Leo] We're going to the Nike SB video premiere tonight.
A video part is, like, each skater gets, like, two to three,
maybe four minutes of footage. And it's, like, their best street footage.
I'm so excited. We gotta go.
You ready?
[chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
[Leo] With a video part, you put your soul into it.
It's like a reflection of the way you skate. You pick the song.
Everything about it is an expression of who you are.
If a competition is like a test, this is like your thesis.
This is like-- Honestly, like, who are you?
[Alex] Shooting a video part is like having a baby
but lasts three years, and it's a terrible pregnancy.
You bleed for it, you break bones, you snap ligaments.
You're putting your whole self out there for everybody to see.
[Leo grunts]
It's gnarly.
[woman] The average kid, if you go to any skate park
and you ask them who won the Olympic qualifier over the weekend,
uh, nobody's gonna know.
Ultimately, what gets the most reverence in the skate world
is what you've done on video.
[Alex] If I think of a video part I connected with,
Brian Anderson in Welcome to Hell.
He's rolling up at a hubba. He looks like he's gonna kill this ledge.
Elissa Steamer in Welcome to Hell.
When I was little brat, I'd just watch her part
and be like, "I could do that. I'll learn that."
[Leo] To, like, have a part in a video that Elissa also has a part in,
it's just like, "Fuck."
[clears throat]
How did I get here?
[director] I hope everyone here enjoys the video.
-[woman] Whoo! -And here it is.
-[Leo] Yeah! -[all cheering]
[inspiring music playing]
[crowd cheering]
-[indistinct chatter] -[all clapping]
[Leo] Dude, you ripped!
I loved your part. Oh my God, I loved your songs. They were rad.
[Leo] When I'm able to just skate, and especially with queer community,
because I feel a sense of freedom and connected with myself.
-[Leo] Thank you. -[Mimi] I'm so proud of you.
-Everything you do is always beautiful. -[Leo] Aw!
-Yeah. -Mimi!
[Leo] I've been so influenced by sponsors
and, like, being marketable for so many years.
[Leo] I know! Thanks.
[Leo] What I really feel like I want right now
is to just focus on skating.
Just focusing on a video part
and never having to compromise for a contest.
[car horn honks]
[gentle guitar strumming]
There was a time when I was feeling really upset
and very, like, depressed and disconnected from the industry.
And for a long time, I was trying to escape my skateboarding identity.
I just had, like, a bad taste in my mouth.
[Sam] The big endorsement deals in skateboarding
are with the shoe companies.
Adidas, Nike, Vans, all of--
Those are the only people that pay you, like, enough
to really make a good living.
[clippers buzzing]
They support you with contests, flights, all that sort of stuff.
So, he was talking to sponsors.
He asked for like 500 bucks.
And they were like, "We just don't have 500 bucks."
[sportscaster] Baker has been a dominant force in women's skateboarding.
[Sam] It's like, you have one of the greatest skaters.
Female, male, gender, doesn't matter. Just, like, a great skater,
winning these contests.
I think he went and bought a pair of shoes to win the contest in.
That's fucking insane.
[clippers buzzing]
[Lisa] They were one of the best in the world,
winning in all these contests,
but no one was interested in putting them on the team
or including them in anything.
[Leo] I had a career, and then it just went away for some reason.
And I went to school and got a job because I'm like,
"Okay, well, I guess there's nothing for me."
[guitar continues strumming]
[Donna] When Leo was younger,
going from long hair to short hair, watching sponsors drop away,
that was tough.
Well, was that gonna be repeated?
It's a whole different level of worry now.
[Alexis] When do we have to wear this? Like out there?
-[Mimi] At the announcement. -So, they only made extra-large?
-[indistinct chatter] -What do the boys take? [laughs]
[Mimi] You can't wear that. You can't. [chuckles]
[Alexis] ♪ It's raining men ♪
-What is this? -[chuckling]
-Can you get Lee to wear this just today? -I can get Lee to wear it just for today.
-[Mimi] That'd be great. That'd be great. -[chuckles]
[announcer] The other return to the team this season, Lee Baker.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
[Alex] The Olympics boils down to who's the king and queen of a sport.
-[scattered cheering] -[indistinct chatter]
And by participating in the Olympics, we're adhering to this whole binary thing
of like, "There's only women and men,"
when, in fact, we know there's a whole spectrum of genders
and that a lot of skateboarders don't identify as a male or female,
and they wanna skate and participate at this elite level too.
[camera shutter clicks]
But then they have to pick a gender in order to skate.
[Leo] In competitions, I just get so stripped
of everything about me that makes me who I am.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
Like, I just get lost in, like, what everyone wants for me.
There's all these factors at play. My sponsors.
What's good for my career. What everyone thinks is gonna be best.
"Oh, but the Olympics is so cool."
"It's the first one ever. This is skateboarding history."
All of these voices that are just nonstop.
"Olympics. Olympics. Olympics."
[operator] You have reached Housing Works Health Services Department.
If this is a life-threatening emergency, please hang up and call 911.
Otherwise, someone will be right with you. Thank you.
[jazz music playing]
[Leo] It's like, "How many fucking years am I gonna put this off?" You know?
How much longer do I have to do this for before I like…
I don't know, maybe forever, you know.
And everyone's like, "It's the Olympics. It's just one year."
If I wait one more year, there might not be any more Leo.
There's just like no escaping the dysphoria.
Just like, my skin's crawling.
Like right now it is, talking about it.
[emotional music playing]
[sighs] Like going to the doctors and shit,
trying to get the letters for my top surgery
and, like, that process…
Like, one doctor said no to the writing the letter,
and it just, like, fucking destroyed me, because I'm just like, "Dude, please."
Like, "Just… just give me the letter."
Like, the clock is just ticking.
-[operator] How may I help you today? -Hi.
I'm calling because it says
that, uh, Housing Works is in my network for insurance.
[operator] I have to reach over to some other staff members.
It may take a while because we have a dozen or so numbers,
and we have to dial down the list and get one of them to answer.
-So just give me a moment. -All right.
[Leo] I wish that I just wasn't here doing this.
Then I'm like, "No, I have to, like, skate,
and I have to show up for, like, my mom and the community and all this stuff."
You know, but sometimes I actually just want to fucking die, so…
[inhales shakily]
That's like… That's it. [sighs]
[woman over phone] No choice will ever be harder than this one.
I… I just… I can't get myself to, like, be like, "I'm done."
I just feel like I have to, you know?
Like I feel like making the decision not to compete anymore
or, like, go for the Olympics is, like, actually super emotional.
[Yulin] So, does that mean you are gonna pull out then?
[sucks teeth]
[sportscaster] Tonight, eight of the best women skateboarders in the world
will be embarking on the path
to the 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan.
[announcer] Make some noise right here for Lacey Baker!
[audience cheering]
I don't know. I feel so happy when I go skate, you know?
Like, every time.
It feels so good.
And I come in this space, and I just feel so not good.
[tense music playing]
There's a wound inside of me that just keeps getting poked
anytime they're like, "Okay, ladies!" Or like, "This is the women's semifinal!"
Just, like, poking at this part of me that's just like… [scoffs]
…like, just so done.
[tense music continues]
[echoing] I'm just trying to live my life outside of my head.
And like, go to the skate park, and half the people are calling me Lacey.
The other half are calling me Lee, and I just want to skate,
but I can't even focus because it's like…
[clock ticking]
There's too much noise in my head about, like,
who the fuck I'm supposed to be in that moment.
[siren wailing in the distance]
[Leo sighs]
[cell phone vibrates]
-[Cher] Hi! [speaks indistinctly] -Oh my God.
I wanna show you raw clips.
Was it too long?
-What? -[Leo] Okay.
[Stephen] You're so stupid. Shut up.
[Leo chuckles]
Was the grind too long?
Oh my God. I love your--
Tell me how you feel about this outfit. Be honest.
This outfit's sick as hell.
Because my… my binder… Like, you can tell I have tits.
No, it looks like you have… It looks like you just work out. What do you mean?
Okay, I don't know. It just like… It's my dysphoria.
Yeah, no. You look great.
[Cher] Don't even trip about that.
Also, my clips are so the opposite. I'm like, "Can you tell I have boobs?"
[Leo, Stephen chuckle]
[skateboard grinds, pops]
-That was sick as fuck, dude. -[Leo] Um, Cher.
-[Cher] Yeah. -[Leo] I quit the Olympics.
[Cher] Dude, I'm so fucking hyped you did that.
-[Stephen] Yeah, me too. -Me too.
[all chuckle]
[Cher] You could be out skating and--
[Leo] I was just on top of the quarter pipe taking my run,
and they were just like, "Lacey Baker." And then I flew home, and I was like…
"I can't do it anymore. I just can't fucking do it."
I want to do this shit with you guys.
[Cher] Fuck, yes. This is--
We're street skaters. That's just what it is.
-[Leo] Yeah. -[Cher] Yeah.
[Leo] We're skating street. We're done with the competition.
[Stephen] We're getting clips.
[Leo] Fucking sent an email, like,
"I'm resigning from the USA Women's Olympic Team,"
and then I was just like…
Like, I just felt, like, this freedom. I was just like, "Clean slate."
I mean, I get why people would see that as a crazy decision.
Oh, it's history, and you could easily go, and you're going to choose not to?
I could have kept putting myself on hold
for another year and then, like, another four years
and then another four… like, or whatever
for every Olympics until I die.
Or I could just be like, "You know what? I'm done."
[Stephen] Know what's crazier than doing the Olympics?
Saying, "Fuck the Olympics."
[all chuckle]
[Leo] I feel like I've served my fucking time.
And I should just do what I wanna do.
I stayed Lacey Baker for way too fucking long.
I'm just, like, done with the fucking split life shit.
[Alex] Everybody knows how big of a deal
it would have been if he skated in the Olympics,
but for him to be like, "No, fuck that. I'm gonna do my own thing,"
is the biggest punk rock thing you could do.
I'm gonna do something different that I've never done before
and really hope for the best because I don't know what's gonna happen.
Like really, I don't know.
So I'm like, "Fuck! Am I gonna lose everything?"
[news anchor 1] Fast-breaking developments in the coronavirus emergency in the US
and around the world.
The number of cases soaring just today.
Eighty million Americans now told to stay at home.
Here in New York City, a state of emergency declared as well.
-[Leo] Ugh! It's not necessary. -[Mel] There's probably room in here.
We packed up our whole lives, and we're heading upstate.
Just 'cause we don't wanna get, like, stuck inside for however long.
[news anchor 2] Today, we learned the 2020 games
will be pushed back to next year,
due to the coronavirus.
[uplifting music playing]
[Mel] Leo was like, "Hey, let's go look at these puppies."
And I was like, "All right, we can go look,
but we're not gonna get a puppy right now. Let's just go look."
Then we were like, "Oh my God! We're gonna get a puppy!"
[chuckles]
[uplifting music continues]
Wow.
We're totally opposites in every single possible way you can imagine. [chuckles]
[Leo] Pretty cute life, huh? Don't you think?
[Mel] Which came out a lot during COVID.
It's not bad.
[Leo] Let's give Carlos a carrot. That's what we look forward to these days.
[Carlos whimpers]
[Mel] Leo is a total homebody.
Good boy.
I am the opposite.
♪ Gotta have faith in me… ♪
I wanna travel all the time. I wanna be social all the time.
Yeah.
There's no real, like, way to plan around anything
'cause no one knows what the hell's gonna happen.
[Carlos whimpers]
But for Leo, quarantine came at the perfect time
for him and his transition.
He said that, "I don't wanna be distracted by all this noise in life."
"I wanna be focusing on what's happening in my body
and really pay attention to it."
[Leo] This whole door opened up for me to really explore.
It's just easier to be in private.
You can just feel how you feel and just be who you are.
[gentle music playing]
Just, like, so fucking overwhelmed.
Just thinking about, like,
how it, like, doesn't have to hurt anymore.
This is, like,
the biggest thing that's ever happened to me.
And then I'm just like…
"I love you, and I don't want you to go anywhere."
"But I would understand…" [chuckles]
But I'm also just like…
[breathes deeply]
It's a lot. It's a lot of things.
[Mel] Yeah.
-I don't wanna go anywhere. -I don't want you to go.
[insects chirping]
[brushing teeth]
Maybe I'll just bring these. Uh, hi.
[Mel mumbles]
[Leo] I'm ready.
[Mel] Physically ready. Mentally, not so much?
-Mentally? Fuck, yeah. -[Mel] Okay, good.
Mentally, I'm like, "Get me there now." It's…
-It's been too long. -[Mel] Titties off.
-Titties off. [laughs] -[Mel] Operation Titties Off.
[Leo yawns] Oh God.
[gentle music playing]
[yawns]
Oh my God.
All right. I'll see you later.
-Good luck. -Thanks.
See you in a few.
I'll be there when you're out.
[chuckles] All right.
[Leo sighs]
[thermometer beeps]
-[Leo] I love you! -[Mel] Love you!
-[nurse] Okay, bye-bye, Leo! Take care. -[Leo] Thank you so much.
[nurse] Good luck with you, okay? Bye.
[Mel] Okay, so, front seat maybe so you don't get nauseous?
-[Leo] I wanna sit in the front, yeah. -[Mel] But don't put the seat belt here.
[exhales]
Should we go skate? [chuckles]
[groans]
I literally am gonna never wear a shirt again, probably.
[Mel chuckles]
[Leo] No, we gotta hear some Gaga right now.
-[Mel chuckles] -♪ The Arizona sky ♪
♪ Burnin' in your eyes ♪
[Mel chuckles]
♪ You look at me And, babe, I wanna catch on fire ♪
♪ It's buried in my soul ♪
♪ Like California gold ♪
♪ You found the light in me That I couldn't find ♪
[both chuckle]
♪ When the sun goes down ♪
♪ And the band won't play ♪
♪ I'll always remember us this way ♪
[doctor] Looks awesome. Want to see them? Take a look in the mirror.
[Leo] Oh my God.
[exhales. chuckles]
Oh my God.
[Mel] How do you feel?
[Leo] Better than I've ever felt in my life.
-[Mel] Really? -[Leo] Yes.
[Leo] We're putting in our order of Glue Boards like now.
-We want to do a red dipped-- -Is that basically the logo?
-Like low-res? -Mm-hmm.
See if you can do the letters going all the way around the rim.
-Oh, that's a great idea. -That'd be cool.
[Leo] One of the things that I was always so drawn to as a kid,
to like, certain skate companies.
They're all just, like, people doing what they want to do.
-[Cher] Are you ready? -[Stephen] Ready to go.
-Sorry. -[Stephen] I wasn't ready for that.
Oh!
["Cry: Outcry" by Shit Coffins playing]
[Cher] I love that.
Every time we smoke in the video.
[Leo] Glue Skateboards, it's a company I'm starting
with my friends Stephen and Cher, celebrating queer skateboarding.
To me, it just feels like a fucking sick company.
Me and my friends made the company we want to ride for.
[Leo] Go.
["Cry: Outcry" continues playing]
[Cher] Maybe I wouldn't be who I am today if I never saw Baker.
Maybe subconsciously, I'm like, "Oh, I'm a girl who skates too."
The moment I found out Lee came out,
that's kind of when I realized like,
"Our favorite fucking skateboarder is, like, trans too."
"Like, that's fucking crazy."
["Cry: Outcry" continues playing]
[Leo] Get under it?
-I should take off the wrapper, right? -[Stephen] Yeah.
[Leo] Boom.
Yeah.
Sick. Yeah.
[Stephen] Better backdrop.
[music ends]
[door opens]
[Leo] What up, Mom?
Oh my God, Leo.
[Leo] Hi.
[Donna sighs]
-I love you so much. -[Leo chuckles]
I love you too, Mom.
-[Donna] I don't even know what to say. -[Leo] Me either. It's been so damn long.
[all chuckling]
-[Mel] Oh my gosh. -[Leo] They left it here.
-[Donna] I know. -[Mel] Oh my gosh. It's a Leo shrine.
[Donna] When you competed at the Battle of the Berrics,
I just knew that was your last contest ever.
-Without you even say anything. -[Leo] For sure.
I'm like, "That's the last time I'll ever see that name in lights."
[Leo chuckles] Yeah.
It's the last time I'm gonna ever see that name on a T-shirt.
[Donna] He's so fucking brave
to do what he's done to live his true self.
And I think about kids that never have that opportunity
to have a parent that they could come to and say,
"You know what, Mom? I'm gay."
"You know what, Mom? I'm trans."
And it's okay.
[Leo] Coming out over at Nike was really scary.
But I was just like, "This is what's up."
[Leo and Mel chuckle]
[Leo] Oh man.
[Leo] And they were like, "All right. Let's fucking do it."
[chuckles]
[gentle music playing]
[sighs] It's just surreal to see it up there.
But I didn't actually know
that there were gonna be giant, massive billboards, you know?
I just started seeing them around.
So, basically, we're just capturing a few facial poses.
The neutral and then eyes closed.
-Joy, disgust, and so on. -[Leo chuckles] Okay.
[photographer] So it's like that.
[Tony] Having Leo in our game inspired people trying to figure out
who they are.
It gave them a sense of validation.
[camera shutter clicking rapidly]
[Leo] It's like fucking mind-blowing.
I'm like, "I played this game. I know I can be a pro skater."
"I wanna be a pro skater when I, like, grow up."
Then I became a pro skater, and now I'm in the game.
I learned a lot through those years of struggle.
You know, like the hard work ultimately paid off.
People were just like, "Yeah, you're still skating and ripping."
And so, people started to be like, "Oh, like, yeah, we wanna invest in that."
[camera shutter clicks]
And now there's just like a clearing for so many new possibilities
that just I did not have in that life I was living.
[Leo] Ooh!
[announcer speaking indistinctly on TV]
Back in first place.
[Leo] And sitting there watching the Olympics
and feeling absolutely fucking elated that I'm not there.
It's like, I know what's best for me,
and I think I knew it all along.
Even when I was, like, really, really young.
[Stephen] Leo's done a really good job of being visible for a lot of people.
That's what real representation is,
Is people feeling like they have permission to be themselves.
I'm getting a pro shoe from Nike.
-[Donna] A pro shoe? Like-- -[Leo] Like my own model.
You know…
-Oh! -[Leo] Aw!
-[Donna] I'm so proud of you. -[Leo chuckles]
Oh my God. Leo.
[door opens]
[Stephen] Hello?
[chuckling]
Hi.
-[Leo] Hi. -Oh, hello, puppy.
-We need stickers. -[chuckles] Let's get stickers.
[Stephen] I feel like we should do only Glue stickers, whatever--
[Leo] Yeah, for sure.
[Leo] The way that I felt for a long time about my pre-sponsored self…
[Stephen] Gonna look sick.
[Leo] …it's like I'm just now getting back in touch with that person.
There's no more, uh…
like, facade.
[Stephen] Skating, at this point, is a multibillion-dollar industry,
and you can count on two hands the amount of, like, professionals
who are, like, gay, queer, trans, or even, like, women also, you know?
-It's crazy. -[Leo] You can, like, name them all.
[Cher] Epic Glue party.
It's about to start.
-[Cher] Oh my God. -[both chuckle]
[gentle music playing]
[Leo] All right, kickflip.
All right. Whoever gets the first kickflip gets a board,
but you have to do it in 30 seconds.
[skaters] Oh!
-[Alexis] Oh, there it goes! -[all clapping]
[Stephen] All right, we got a winner.
[loudspeaker wailing]
[chuckles]
I really look up to Leo, honestly.
Ju, like, the freedom of doing whatever you want
and being whoever you want. Not being afraid to show your true self.
Dude, they're doing everything. Doing everything they should be doing.
[indistinct chatter]
[Sam] I think Lee's legacy will be bringing
some much-needed authenticity to skating.
[Leo] Okay, that's great. Right here. Whoa, turn around.
Lee becoming so popular and famous and everything just shattered everything.
[Leo] I know what it's like
to, like, not have anyone to look up to.
[laughing]
But there's trans people everywhere,
which is something I wish that I knew as a kid.
[skateboard wheels rattling]
Everything leading up to right now
is one version of being trans,
but there are so many versions of it.
["Hold Me Till We're Home" playing]
I don't have the answers.
I only have, like, my answers that I've gotten so far.
I just think it's really important to have compassion for yourself.
And that, like, every iteration of yourself counts.
I'm just, like, one fucking person…
and I just happen to be trans.
And I think that, l just existing should be enough.
At the end of the day, I'm just a fucking skater, so, like,
I just gonna skate. [chuckles]
And, like, enjoy it.
Because it's like, life is so brief, so I don't wanna waste any more time.
♪ Lifeless ♪
♪ Barely holding on ♪
♪ I feel it moving on And dragging me along ♪
♪ I need to ♪
♪ Remember all the times you told me ♪
♪ Everything will be all right ♪
♪ Am I a human being? ♪
♪ Am I known as she? ♪
♪ I need you by my side ♪
♪ Don't leave me here alone ♪
♪ Please hold me till we're home ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Hold me till we're home ♪