[upbeat music playing]
[chomps]
[explosive burp]
[sniffs]
[glass breaks]
- [James] Ah! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! - [Max] Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, ah!
[loud explosion]
See? Everything worked out.
[loud crash]
[James laughing]
Aww, I wanna be a letter!
[burps]
[hard rock music playing]
[bell ringing]
Yuck!
[both yell]
No junk food!
Mmm.
Psst! You got the stuff?
Ah!
I've got all your faves: Cheese Puffs, Cherry Nub-Nubs, and Double Choccy Milk.
Double Choccy Milk? I asked for a Triple.
Yeah, no, you can't handle the Triple.
It's not for you. Now, have you got what I asked for?
Perfect! Sweet! Thanks!
[mechanical whirring]
And don't do anything crazy with my mom's lab key card.
Relax. I'm just gonna borrow tools
to build a device that will aid in our quest to save the future.
And by our, I mean my, because you're too in denial to help.
Plus, it's Taco Tuesday.
[blasting off]
I could have handled the Triple.
[barfing noise]
Choccy my milk, cheese my puffs, one little nub is never enough.
- [Dr. Squats] Hyah! - Ah!
- [Dr. Squats] Hah! - Ah!
I knew I sensed sugar.
Read the rules!
"No junk food or candy on Campus."
[Dr. Squats] Ah!
[door slams]
Mmm. Mm-mm. I love confiscated snacks.
Yah! Time to grub-grub on some Cherry Nub-Nubs!
That's fine. Is there a Triple Choccy Milk?
You can't handle the Triple!
Mm-mm-m. You see this, Max?
Yeah! Dr. Squats put her feet on the table.
No! The bin full of confiscated snacks!
How is it that teachers can prohibit students
from enjoying junk food at school,
but then eat candy themselves in the teacher's lounge,
which is in the school?
Max, I'm done with the injustice.
I'm gonna orchestrate a heist into the teacher's lounge
to liberate our snacks.
But you're not a teacher!
You can't go into the teacher's lounge!
If you get caught, you'll be expelled! Or worse!
I won't get expelled, Max.
Daddy's got a plan.
Why are you calling yourself daddy?
Okay, here's the plan.
First, you'll stay outside and be on lookout.
Second, I'll go inside and grab the snacks.
That... That's it?
I thought it'd be more complicated when you broke out the blueprints.
[door lamming open]
[both laughing]
[wheels scraping against the floor]
[James groaning]
Remember the plan.
Wait. What was the plan again? Oh, I better check the blueprints!
[paper crumpling]
[door shutting softly]
Ooh, candy.
[rummaging]
[gasps]
Triple Choccy Milk!
Pfft. Can't handle the Triple.
I'll show Echo.
[gulping]
[coughing and hacking]
Oh, I like the burn.
[Principal Loudspeaker mumbling]
[Principal Loudspeaker] Did I hear a juvenile cough?
[crashing]
Young man! Students aren't allowed in the teacher's lounge!
I'm sorry, Principal Loudspeaker.
Oh-ha-ho!
It's I who should be sorry.
I d-d-didn't see the mustache.
You look good, sir.
You must be our new substitute
[laughs] teacher.
Uh, yeah! New sub, ha, that's me.
Well, well, well, we're thrilled to have an instructor of your caliber
here at Dirt High!
What was your name again?
It's, uh, Choccy.
Choccy Milkinson. Mr. Milkinson, for short.
Sounds legit.
[Principal Loudspeaker] Mr. McFly!
Please show our new sub to his class.
So you're the new hotshot sub?
Uh... Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm. Figures. Figures.
You don't have the confidence of a full-timer.
Are you nervous? Well, don't be.
As long as you remember that I am Dirt's star teacher.
Well, here is your class.
If you need anything, I'll be right across the hall.
And I'll be watching you like a spider watches me.
Ow! Ugh.
[door slams]
[bumping noises]
Sorry, new teacher.
I have to remember what the plan was for my buddy, James.
You know how to read a blueprint?
Max, it's me!
Witch!
Shh! No! I got caught in the lounge, and I didn't want to get expelled,
and I said I wasn't a student, and I guess my milk mustache sold it,
and now I'm posing as a substitute teacher,
and Choccy Milk made me do it!
Echo was right. You can't handle the Triple.
What? Yes, I can!
I just need to make it through the day without anyone realizing I'm a kid.
Can you cover for me in McFly's class so I don’t get expelled?
You want me to dress up and pretend to be you?
What? No, just tell people I'm sick or something.
[groaning]
- [James yelling] - [ominous music playing]
[James sighs, takes a breath, releases]
Cry! Cry! Cry! My life is so hard!
I need to complain about everything!
Can I speak to your manager?
[Mr. McFly] Oh, typical James. No, you cannot.
[Mr. McFly] Now, just-- just sit down.
Oh, he's good.
[explosive boon]
[crowd chattering]
[door shuts]
[children clamoring and laughing]
[glue dripping]
Uh-yah!
[glass shattering]
[Mr. McFly laughing]
[sighs]
All right. All right. Calm down.
Quiet llama.
[children crying]
Quiet llama! Can't you see the quiet llama?
It's quiet llama time!
Quiet llama! What? It's quiet llama!
[children whining]
The first one to sit down and be quiet gets candy.
[children stop crying]
[chipper music playing]
It worked. It worked!
[Principal Loudspeaker] Um, Mr. Milkinson.
I'm impressed at how well-behaved your students are.
I might have to make you Teacher of the Month.
[children cheering]
Teacher of the Month?
To a sub?
Well, I've been trying to get that title for years!
And there's only two teachers at this school.
Mr. Mc-Sigh!
Not now, James! Not now!
You can forget about Teacher of the Month, Mr. Milkinson.
I've got something in slime for you.
[maniacal laughter]
- [thunder crackling] - [diabolic music playing]
[diabolic music stops]
James, stop flicking the lights.
Sorry, Mr. McFly.
[peaceful music playing]
[smacking sound]
[wink ding]
[Mr. McFly laughing]
Oh, Mr. Milkinson!
Meet your new student, Stuart.
[ominous rock music sound]
[James gasps]
[yelping]
Oh, you doing okay there, Milkinson?
Uh, yup. Fine. Cool. I'm cool.
Good. Good, good, good, good.
'Cause Stuart's been a bit of a problem child in my class,
so Principal Loudspeaker and I decided that Dirt's
Substitute Teacher of the Month could handle it.
But this is a kindergarten class.
I know.
[Mr. McFly snickering]
[in a deep voiced tone] Hilarious, right?
[Mr. McFly resumes snickering]
- [ominous music playing] - [James gulps]
Why hello there, young--
Ha! Save it, James, I know it's you.
[burps]
I'd recognize that shiny bald head and those soulless little eyes
from a mile away.
Please don't rat me out.
Ha! Don't worry, I won't... [chuckles] 'cause I don't have to.
They're gonna figure it out for themselves.
Hey, kid, why kinda name is Milkinson anyway?
I bet his dad's a cow.
Yeah! Moo! Moo!
It's like it isn't even a real name.
- Moo! Moo! - Quack, quack!
[Principal Loudspeaker] M-M-M-M-Milkinson!
Why are the children mooing? Huh?
That's one letter away from b-b-b-booing!
[Stuart] Ha, I quacked.
Mr. Milkinson, get these calves under control!
[confused laughter]
A real teacher would take care of this.
Unless you're a phony baloney!
No. No. No, no, no, no, no.
I need more individually-wrapped supplies!
[door shuts]
Mr. McFly! I need you to cover my class while I get more candy!
[James gasps]
[buzzed licking noises]
Is something wrong, Milkinson?
- [grunts in frustration] - [door shuts]
[water pouring]
[in a baby voice] Oh, what's the matter?
Cwass won't wisten to you without your candy?
It's your candy too.
What are you talking about?
It's all of our candy.
What are you trying to tell me, James?
Just spit it out already.
All the candy I was using
was stolen from students.
[candy wrappers shuffling]
Oh, my gosh!
You know those Cheese Puffs that were taken from you today?
[bag busting open]
[Stuart] Oh, what's he doing to my Cheese Puffs?
I say we make a move and get our candy back.
Join me, Stuart,
and together we can redistribute each piece of candy to its rightful child!
Like Halloween.
Yeah.
This heist is gonna be the biggest heist that I've ever done.
It's going to need three steps.
[Stuart sniffs]
[spy music playing]
[James] First,
I'll write a note saying James is wanted in the principal's office.
[Max, as James] That's me.
Mmm.
[footsteps prattling]
[door twisting open]
[James] Second...
[Stuart] Oi hoy, hoy.
...you'll instruct him to pose as Mr. Milkinson
so my class isn't left unattended.
And finally, you'll distract McFly
while I sneak in through the window and retrieve the candy.
[Stuart] Oh, please, Mr. McFly, let me back in your dumb class.
Oh, you're a way better teacher than Mr. Moo-kinson.
Hmm.
[metal clanking]
[climbing effort noises]
Ascend.
Ascend!
[grunts]
[struggling noises]
[grunts and pants]
And your stained sweater,
I mean most people wouldn't be confident enough to walk around like that.
But not you. You like being disgusting.
[gasps]
[door twists open]
[children clamoring and yelling]
Oh. He couldn't even teach a class if his life depended on it.
[dramatic music playing]
[bells toll]
- [Stuart gasps] - [Mr. McFly] Hmm?
Huh.
[straining noises]
[grunting]
- [James screaming] - [children yelling]
Hey, get off! That's my nose!
[children screaming]
And that mustache, oh, how you--
[children screaming]
Wait!
[gasps]
That's not Milkinson!
Uh, this isn't what it looks like.
Oh, really?
Because it looks like you're trying to take us full-timers' rightfully stolen,
uh, I mean confiscated,
snacks!
That was your plan from the beginning, wasn't it,
Mr. Milkinson?
You're absolutely right!
[everyone gasps]
I came to Dirt to take back these snacks and rightfully return them to the students
because I couldn't stand by the hypocrisy of this school's no candy rule,
a rule where teachers can eat candy but students can't?
Is that just? Is that fair?
Kids should be able to snack freely the same way that teachers do.
[cheering]
We all work hard!
We all deserve to treat ourselves!
[Principal Loudspeaker] Mr. Milkinson.
I am touched.
I started as a substitute teacher, like you,
because I wanted to make a difference.
And when I got promoted to substitute principal, I swore I'd never run a school
with unfair rules!
I guess I lost my way.
The no snack rule is lifted!
Kids! Eat your snacks!
[all cheering]
And in addition to making you Teacher of the Month,
I'd like to offer you a full-time position.
With a raise.
A raise?
I've been working as a volunteer for all these years!
[crying loudly]
[Mr. McFly] Oh, no!
- Thank you, Principal Loudspeaker. - [Mr. McFly] Why me? Why me?
- It's been an honor. But I'm afraid... - [Mr. McFly] Life is not fair!
- ...my job here... - [Mr. McFly] Why, Momma?
- ...is done. - [Mr. McFly] Look into all my eyes
and tell me why!
[all gasp]
[clattering against glass]
[triumphant music playing]
I knew it. You drank a Triple, didn't you?
[sighs] Yeah.
I knew you couldn't handle the Triple.
[Mr. McFly] Not now, James! Not now!