1
00:00:50,162 --> 00:00:52,095
Look at you. Look at you.

2
00:00:53,717 --> 00:00:55,236
<i>Gorgeous. [chuckles]</i>

3
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,450
115 minutes, four trains.

4
00:01:02,622 --> 00:01:04,693
You're so lucky
I fucking love you.

5
00:01:04,797 --> 00:01:08,801
I am. But also, walking
five blocks this pregnant?

6
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:11,769
It's equal.
- Touche, bitch!

7
00:01:11,873 --> 00:01:13,288
<i>Woo! We're doing it.</i>

8
00:01:15,497 --> 00:01:18,535
Hi. Do you have any tickets
available for the 9 a.m.?

9
00:01:18,638 --> 00:01:22,435
Yeah, yeah, they all are.
It's Thanksgiving at 9 a.m...

10
00:01:22,884 --> 00:01:26,198
Okay, well,
we'll take two then,

11
00:01:26,301 --> 00:01:29,649
but you can keep the attitude
in the booth.

12
00:01:29,925 --> 00:01:31,375
It's a ritual, man.

13
00:01:31,755 --> 00:01:34,689
We've seen a movie
every Thanksgiving
for 27 years.

14
00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:38,106
Traditions of this caliber
don't come by--

15
00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:40,764
Okay, Eden? Can we just
get the tickets
so we can sit down?

16
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,075
My back hurts.

17
00:01:42,214 --> 00:01:43,525
You fucked up her back.

18
00:01:43,698 --> 00:01:46,804
You did not fuck up my back,
baby did that.

19
00:01:48,806 --> 00:01:50,877
<i>So I had a crazy night
last night.</i>

20
00:01:50,981 --> 00:01:52,224
<i>I'm drinking a hot toddy.</i>

21
00:01:52,741 --> 00:01:54,053
<i>I clocked this other bitch
drinking a hot toddy.</i>

22
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:56,400
Oh, ew, wait a minute.
My seat is wet.

23
00:01:56,504 --> 00:01:58,920
Ew. Yuck!
- What? Yuck.

24
00:01:59,023 --> 00:02:00,611
So gross.

25
00:02:01,198 --> 00:02:03,614
So I see
she's drinking a hot toddy.
You know, like your classic.

26
00:02:05,271 --> 00:02:06,859
So we strike up a conversation
or whatever.

27
00:02:06,962 --> 00:02:08,309
It turns--
- Ew!

28
00:02:08,619 --> 00:02:11,139
This seat is wet, too.
- No.

29
00:02:11,243 --> 00:02:13,797
- Yes.
- Gross.
- Yuck.

30
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:17,214
Ew. Okay.

31
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,598
Turns out
she's a retired nurse.

32
00:02:21,701 --> 00:02:25,153
And I was like,
"What's the most gruesome
death you've ever seen?"

33
00:02:25,257 --> 00:02:26,534
Oh that's a good follow up.

34
00:02:26,637 --> 00:02:29,019
- And she's like--
- Fuck, no.

35
00:02:29,122 --> 00:02:30,676
- What?
- This seat is wet too.

36
00:02:30,779 --> 00:02:32,988
Why does this theater
have so many wet ass seats.

37
00:02:33,092 --> 00:02:34,473
Okay. Is it you, maybe?

38
00:02:34,576 --> 00:02:37,338
Are you possibly
the wet factor?

39
00:02:37,441 --> 00:02:39,098
<i>None of my seats
have been wet.</i>

40
00:02:39,443 --> 00:02:43,896
I mean, maybe it could be me,
but I'm not due
for another two weeks.

41
00:02:43,999 --> 00:02:45,656
Can you check?
- Sure.

42
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:52,284
Let's see.

43
00:02:52,387 --> 00:02:54,009
All right. Nothing...

44
00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:55,148
- Cool.
- Nothing...

45
00:02:55,252 --> 00:02:56,288
A drop.

46
00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,082
<i>Another drop.</i>

47
00:02:58,255 --> 00:03:00,015
Okay. All right.

48
00:03:00,119 --> 00:03:04,296
Are you pissing, perchance?
- I don't think I'm pissing.

49
00:03:04,399 --> 00:03:07,091
You know, in the movies,
it's like this 'whoosh'!

50
00:03:07,195 --> 00:03:09,232
But this is just
a light pussy drizzle.

51
00:03:09,335 --> 00:03:11,061
<i>Pussy drizzle, okay.
You know what?</i>

52
00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:12,614
I'm gonna call Doctor Morris.

53
00:03:14,996 --> 00:03:17,999
Two. Emergency.

54
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,933
<i>Morris. Okay,
it's ringing now.</i>

55
00:03:21,036 --> 00:03:23,280
Doctor Morris, it's dawn.

56
00:03:23,384 --> 00:03:24,730
Okay.
Trickling is accelerating.

57
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,250
It's like, one and a drop
and a one and a drop...

58
00:03:27,422 --> 00:03:29,252
<i>I just need to know
if my water broke
or if it's just droplets.</i>

59
00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:31,392
It's a...
- One and a drop.
- It's a one and a drop.

60
00:03:31,495 --> 00:03:33,566
There's more of a swing to it:
And a one and a drop...

61
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:36,189
It's a one and a drop
and a one and a drop.

62
00:03:36,293 --> 00:03:38,468
With more of a swing to it.
- Okay it's getting faster.
It's triplets now.

63
00:03:38,571 --> 00:03:39,710
Okay. Thank you I got it.

64
00:03:39,848 --> 00:03:41,747
And d-d-drop,
drop-drop-drop-drop.

65
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:44,059
Thank you, Bobby McFerrin. Yeah.

66
00:03:45,751 --> 00:03:47,511
Okay. Thanks.

67
00:03:50,618 --> 00:03:52,585
So I'm definitely in labor.

68
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:57,245
Oh my God.

69
00:03:57,659 --> 00:03:59,316
What should we do? Should I--
Should I hug you?

70
00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:00,662
<i>- No, please don't touch me.</i>
- Okay.

71
00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:02,112
<i>He said I've got to go
to the hospital.</i>

72
00:04:02,388 --> 00:04:03,700
But when I went in
with Tommy,

73
00:04:04,079 --> 00:04:05,978
It...
It was 25 hours
until he was born.

74
00:04:06,081 --> 00:04:08,670
25 hours of labor,
and I couldn't eat any food.

75
00:04:08,774 --> 00:04:12,847
They just gave me ice chips.
- Okay, what if we
bag the movie?

76
00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:16,885
It still counts,
our streak lives,
for a last supper of sorts.

77
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,335
I love that.

78
00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:20,199
Oh, yes.

79
00:04:20,372 --> 00:04:21,925
Okay. That's it.

80
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,789
I would say let me know
if you need anything else,

81
00:04:23,892 --> 00:04:25,687
but this is literally
all the foods we have.

82
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:28,276
So...
- Don't go far, though.
We might need seconds.

83
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:30,278
Okay, no problem.
And-- Oh, I'm sorry.

84
00:04:30,382 --> 00:04:31,590
It looks like you had
a little spill there.

85
00:04:31,728 --> 00:04:33,281
Oh, no no no.
That's just some drippage.

86
00:04:33,454 --> 00:04:34,869
I'm in labor.

87
00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:36,871
Congratulations to me.

88
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,632
In the movies,
it's like this monsoon whoosh.

89
00:04:39,736 --> 00:04:41,565
Mh-hm.
- But in real life,
it can be trickles.

90
00:04:41,841 --> 00:04:43,912
The water will keep coming.
Don't worry
about cleaning it up.

91
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:47,364
Uh, okay. No, I definitely
will need to tell my boss that
just 'cause...

92
00:04:47,468 --> 00:04:49,780
it's fluids
and there's people eating.
Who knows what's in the fluid.

93
00:04:49,884 --> 00:04:50,954
I don't think this
is gonna end well.

94
00:04:51,161 --> 00:04:52,162
What are you?
The Gordon Ramsay
of my pussy?

95
00:04:52,265 --> 00:04:53,128
<i>Get out of here.</i>

96
00:04:53,232 --> 00:04:54,406
Why do you hate women?

97
00:04:54,578 --> 00:04:55,890
I-- no--
- I need more chocolate mousse.

98
00:04:55,993 --> 00:04:58,513
I will get that, I just--
- Thank you, bye.

99
00:04:59,756 --> 00:05:01,689
I wonder what
off-Broadway play he's in.

100
00:05:01,792 --> 00:05:03,829
It's like he's never seen
a pregnant person before.

101
00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:06,659
Honestly, you're digging
the vibe up here?

102
00:05:06,832 --> 00:05:09,386
Don't you miss
that Dominican diner?
Compared to this place?

103
00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:11,940
Feels a little Stepford.

104
00:05:13,597 --> 00:05:15,358
I don't know, man.
Astoria misses you.

105
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,499
It's calling you.
It's like Don, Don.
Where's Don?

106
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,882
Are you good, dude?

107
00:05:24,228 --> 00:05:25,713
I need you to check my shit.

108
00:05:25,885 --> 00:05:27,956
Oh, my God, you're in labor.
I forgot.

109
00:05:29,958 --> 00:05:31,270
Okay. Move the panties, please.

110
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,513
Yeah get in there.

111
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:34,687
I don't know the medical term
for this, but...

112
00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:37,725
<i>- Yeah?</i>
- Your pussy is opened way
the fuck up.

113
00:05:37,828 --> 00:05:39,589
How many centimeters
would way the fuck up be?

114
00:05:39,692 --> 00:05:41,660
Your vagina looks like
it's yawning. Like.

115
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,043
Oh my God,
call an Uber.

116
00:05:46,147 --> 00:05:47,320
I thought I had more time.

117
00:05:47,424 --> 00:05:48,701
Fuck, I'm still hungry.

118
00:05:51,704 --> 00:05:53,016
Okay, take your time.

119
00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,051
It just comes in waves.

120
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:06,305
Aren't women amazing?
Birth, miracle.

121
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,962
Enjoy your risotto.

122
00:06:09,826 --> 00:06:12,069
Eden, was that loud?
- Mm-mm.
- Are you sure?

123
00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:14,037
- Miraculous.
- I feel like everyone's
looking at me.

124
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:18,559
No, no no no,
everyone's in awe.

125
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,494
Thank you.

126
00:06:22,597 --> 00:06:24,703
- Yeah.
- Eden, tip him well.

127
00:06:24,806 --> 00:06:26,739
- Will do.
- Do you want some water?

128
00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:28,292
Yes. I need a sip of water.

129
00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:29,880
This is amazing.
The elegance.

130
00:06:33,056 --> 00:06:36,300
I don't need the water.

131
00:06:36,404 --> 00:06:39,614
Help me! Help me!

132
00:06:40,028 --> 00:06:42,479
<i>Where's the door?
Get the door, open the door!</i>

133
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,553
<i>And that's New York,
baby!</i>

134
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,736
Yes! Got it! Got it!

135
00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:00,083
All right. There you go.

136
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,637
Thank you so much. Thank you.
- This is good, this is good.

137
00:07:02,741 --> 00:07:04,570
This is good.
We're almost there.
Almost there.

138
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,158
Almost there.

139
00:07:06,814 --> 00:07:08,781
Oh, you're so good.
You are doing it.
You're almost there.

140
00:07:08,885 --> 00:07:11,888
Fuck no, this is not good!
Get me up, get me up.

141
00:07:12,026 --> 00:07:14,546
And now we're standing up.
Standing up.

142
00:07:14,649 --> 00:07:16,548
Good, good, good. Okay.

143
00:07:16,651 --> 00:07:18,308
You're doing so good, honey.

144
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:21,138
Standing up is no good,
standing up--
Oh, no. It hurts when I stand!

145
00:07:21,242 --> 00:07:22,485
Let me get on the floor.

146
00:07:22,864 --> 00:07:24,245
- You don't want to do that.
- Yes she does!
- Shut up!

147
00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:25,936
Okay, just do your thing.

148
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,869
You're doing so good,
what you're doing.

149
00:07:28,111 --> 00:07:29,526
It's so gross.

150
00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:30,941
<i>Okay.</i>

151
00:07:31,321 --> 00:07:32,909
Eyes on your own paper.
Scram!

152
00:07:34,289 --> 00:07:35,256
Okay. We're taking it for you.

153
00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:36,809
It is so hot, it is so hot!

154
00:07:38,604 --> 00:07:40,261
Alright, okay.

155
00:07:40,364 --> 00:07:41,607
Here we go.

156
00:07:41,952 --> 00:07:44,161
I don't want to give birth
in the lobby.

157
00:07:45,646 --> 00:07:47,613
<i>I don't want this
to be my journey.</i>

158
00:07:47,786 --> 00:07:49,650
You never seen
a bad bitch crawl?

159
00:07:51,168 --> 00:07:53,067
<i>And...
Just gonna get the elevator.</i>

160
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,725
Ignore me.
Sorry to be in your way.

161
00:07:55,828 --> 00:07:57,761
Here we go.

162
00:08:14,191 --> 00:08:15,020
Okay.

163
00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:18,057
Woo! Here we go!

164
00:08:18,368 --> 00:08:20,094
I need to go
to the fourth floor.

165
00:08:20,197 --> 00:08:22,683
Fourth floor, please.
Thank you so much.

166
00:08:26,894 --> 00:08:29,206
Congratulations.
- Thank you.

167
00:08:37,076 --> 00:08:39,527
She's gonna have
your freckles. Oh my--

168
00:08:39,631 --> 00:08:42,047
I am so proud of you.
- Don't touch me.

169
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:43,220
Okay.

170
00:08:43,324 --> 00:08:44,912
Hold my hand.

171
00:08:45,015 --> 00:08:47,293
- You got it.
- Great Dawn,
you're doing great.

172
00:08:47,397 --> 00:08:49,019
- You got this.
- I'm dynamic.

173
00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:50,814
You're dynamic.
Tell her she's dynamic.

174
00:08:50,918 --> 00:08:53,023
Oh, you are so strong.

175
00:08:53,541 --> 00:08:56,268
Do you smell that?
There's a terrible smell happening.

176
00:08:56,371 --> 00:08:57,752
That's a good smell.

177
00:08:58,028 --> 00:09:00,444
We can't possibly
be smelling the same thing.

178
00:09:00,548 --> 00:09:03,620
Oh my God.
Oh my God, I feel like
I have to shit.

179
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,035
Great. Follow it.

180
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:06,899
Just keep going.
We're almost crowning.

181
00:09:07,003 --> 00:09:08,763
This is what it's all about.

182
00:09:09,108 --> 00:09:11,559
Crowning's one
of the most beautiful things
you will ever see.

183
00:09:11,904 --> 00:09:13,906
Push! Come on, push!

184
00:09:14,735 --> 00:09:16,668
And we're crowning.

185
00:09:16,909 --> 00:09:19,567
That's my daughter's forehead.

186
00:09:19,981 --> 00:09:22,294
Oh my God, is it that bad?
Why does she look like that?

187
00:09:22,397 --> 00:09:24,020
Did I just shit on my baby?

188
00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:27,195
No. It's more like you babied
on your shit.

189
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:30,613
Be right back.

190
00:09:37,999 --> 00:09:41,244
I am shocked by how disgusted
you were.

191
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:45,558
I mean, we literally
send pictures of our poopies
to each other to name.

192
00:09:45,662 --> 00:09:47,664
I was shocked as well.

193
00:09:47,768 --> 00:09:51,254
But I missed Tommy's birth
so I was not going to miss
this one.

194
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:54,153
But if you guys have a third,
I might have to skip.

195
00:09:54,291 --> 00:09:58,502
I think it's far more
disturbing you guys text
each other every dump.

196
00:09:58,606 --> 00:10:01,126
We do not text ever-y dump, okay?

197
00:10:01,229 --> 00:10:04,785
But Dawn is integral
to all my dumps.

198
00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:06,752
- Aw.
<i>- Ever since you guys
left Astoria,</i>

199
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,651
<i>instead of reading
on the toilet,</i>

200
00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:13,517
I just look at Dawn's
share-location-dot bop
around the Upper West Side.

201
00:10:13,621 --> 00:10:16,210
Aw, I look at your
shared-location-dot too.

202
00:10:16,313 --> 00:10:17,729
Really?

203
00:10:18,453 --> 00:10:20,421
This is really cute.
Was it you two that just had
the baby, or..?

204
00:10:20,524 --> 00:10:23,769
I love when Marty
is jealous of me. Yes.
- I know, right?

205
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,427
Don't be a jellybean.
- I am jealous.

206
00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:27,359
<i>Don't be jealous, baby.</i>

207
00:10:27,462 --> 00:10:28,912
I contributed to the IP.

208
00:10:29,085 --> 00:10:30,811
You honestly contributed less
to baby Melanie

209
00:10:30,914 --> 00:10:33,192
than there is Cheeto dust
on my fingers.

210
00:10:33,296 --> 00:10:35,125
You did what you had to do...
- Thank you.

211
00:10:35,298 --> 00:10:37,196
...and I appreciate
your service,
thoughts and prayers.

212
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,404
Okay, okay.

213
00:10:38,611 --> 00:10:39,578
<i>But if you want me
to love you</i>

214
00:10:39,854 --> 00:10:40,648
<i>as much
as I love Eden,</i>

215
00:10:40,752 --> 00:10:43,237
can you please just...

216
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:45,066
get me some sushi?

217
00:10:45,273 --> 00:10:48,414
I'm tired of chips.
I'm tired of cheese
and skittles.

218
00:10:48,518 --> 00:10:51,521
I don't want
to taste the rainbow no more.
I want some sushi.

219
00:10:51,624 --> 00:10:53,074
I've been waiting
ten months for this.

220
00:10:53,178 --> 00:10:55,145
No, no, no, guys,
this one's on me.

221
00:10:55,249 --> 00:10:57,216
- Oh.
- I'm gonna get you the works.

222
00:10:57,630 --> 00:11:01,738
And you were going to have
the sexiest, most gorgeous
postpartum poo poo

223
00:11:01,842 --> 00:11:02,912
of all time.

224
00:11:03,153 --> 00:11:04,189
I'm talking about you too, Marty.

225
00:11:04,292 --> 00:11:05,052
Ew.

226
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:09,539
<i>And so,
total is $457.53.</i>

227
00:11:11,506 --> 00:11:14,475
Oh, okay. No. Okay.

228
00:11:14,578 --> 00:11:19,376
That's the cost of the food
in these here bags.

229
00:11:19,514 --> 00:11:22,966
Where's the butler, Madame?
Butler!

230
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:29,352
Cash cool?

231
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:30,698
Mh-hm.

232
00:11:31,078 --> 00:11:33,183
All right.
I'm not a drug dealer.

233
00:11:33,356 --> 00:11:36,600
I'm a yoga teacher.
I got my own studio,
in my apartment.

234
00:11:36,704 --> 00:11:40,466
Okay. And there's no
good guy discount?

235
00:11:41,329 --> 00:11:42,986
Four.

236
00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:48,302
Oh my God.
Literally precious moments.

237
00:11:50,028 --> 00:11:52,755
- Uh, excuse me?
- Oh. You scared me.

238
00:11:53,134 --> 00:11:54,791
I know it looks creepy, but...

239
00:11:54,998 --> 00:11:56,759
Is this a gorgeous family or?

240
00:11:57,518 --> 00:11:58,588
I'm not a rando.

241
00:11:58,691 --> 00:12:00,210
Dawn is like my sister.

242
00:12:00,314 --> 00:12:02,350
Okay, but only pre-approved
actual family members

243
00:12:02,454 --> 00:12:04,180
can be in the room
after visiting hours.

244
00:12:04,283 --> 00:12:07,770
Okay, well this sushi
was $500.

245
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:10,427
So do you have a fridge
I could pop it in

246
00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:12,015
so it doesn't go bad for them.

247
00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:14,293
No, I mean, we have a fridge,
but it's for, you know,

248
00:12:14,397 --> 00:12:15,778
blood and organs.

249
00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:20,852
Mmm.

250
00:12:27,617 --> 00:12:29,481
Closing this unit down
for the holiday.

251
00:12:29,757 --> 00:12:32,864
<i>You all need to get out
and transfer to the next 2.</i>

252
00:12:33,865 --> 00:12:35,004
Oh, fuck.

253
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:37,730
<i>Okay, okay, okay.
Wait, guys.</i>

254
00:12:37,834 --> 00:12:39,284
Hold up! MTA.

255
00:12:39,387 --> 00:12:41,113
This was $500.

256
00:12:46,222 --> 00:12:47,292
Hey.

257
00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:48,431
Be nice to people.

258
00:12:50,398 --> 00:12:53,194
Sir, let the doors close, sir.

259
00:12:53,298 --> 00:12:54,851
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

260
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,474
<i>Whew! Oh, man.</i>

261
00:12:58,717 --> 00:12:59,856
Happy Thanksgiving.

262
00:13:00,892 --> 00:13:01,927
Happy Thanksgiving.

263
00:13:02,376 --> 00:13:03,411
I'm Eden.

264
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:04,896
Claude.

265
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,761
Ugh. Brutal.

266
00:13:09,141 --> 00:13:10,798
My commute
is usually three trains,

267
00:13:10,902 --> 00:13:12,041
but with the holidays
it's four.

268
00:13:12,144 --> 00:13:13,697
Yeah. Me too.

269
00:13:14,112 --> 00:13:17,149
2 to the 7,
to the G, to the end.

270
00:13:17,874 --> 00:13:19,393
Uhm.

271
00:13:20,497 --> 00:13:21,395
You like sushi?

272
00:13:23,121 --> 00:13:24,260
I fucking love sushi.

273
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,298
So where are you coming from?
Prom?

274
00:13:29,161 --> 00:13:31,577
No. God, no. I hated prom.

275
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:33,096
Me too.

276
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:35,478
I love the idea of dressing up
in big ass outfits,

277
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,480
but to celebrate high school
is such a waste.

278
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:41,622
Like, you know,
I got neck acne
and no identity.

279
00:13:41,725 --> 00:13:44,936
- Take my picture.
- No, I totally agree.

280
00:13:45,039 --> 00:13:47,490
It feels like prom
should happen way later
in life.

281
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,424
You know,
for some higher purpose
or something.

282
00:13:50,527 --> 00:13:52,115
I love that idea.

283
00:13:52,253 --> 00:13:53,979
But seriously,
why are you dressed
like a waiter

284
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,947
from the Great Depression?

285
00:13:57,155 --> 00:14:00,744
I was shooting a movie.
Martin Scorsese.

286
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:02,988
Yeah, I've heard of him.
- Yeah.

287
00:14:03,195 --> 00:14:05,439
That guy.
- What's your role?

288
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,924
You're gonna laugh. Uhm...
- Okay.

289
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,822
But don't. It's, a...
- Okay.

290
00:14:09,926 --> 00:14:11,721
A sexy black waiter.

291
00:14:11,824 --> 00:14:13,965
I'm not laughing.
- Okay fine, you can laugh.

292
00:14:14,068 --> 00:14:15,276
It was two lines.

293
00:14:15,587 --> 00:14:17,520
But in exchange,
I got this tux.

294
00:14:26,322 --> 00:14:29,083
Mochi is like
a disembodied testicle.

295
00:14:30,602 --> 00:14:31,672
Just try it.

296
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:41,716
I feel like I definitely
prefer mushrooms over weed.

297
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:43,304
Mm-mm.

298
00:14:43,891 --> 00:14:46,514
Shrooms have been making me
so paranoid lately.
- Have they?

299
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:50,070
Last time I did them
I freaked out
that I was pregnant.

300
00:14:50,173 --> 00:14:53,176
I bought dozens and dozens
of pregnancy tests.

301
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,523
I took like,
I swear to God, 30.

302
00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:56,904
Oh, God.

303
00:14:57,387 --> 00:15:00,287
It didn't even make sense,
my paranoia, because uhm...

304
00:15:00,563 --> 00:15:02,358
Okay, sorry,
this is going to be TMI,

305
00:15:02,461 --> 00:15:04,429
but we are
on our second train.

306
00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:06,983
No, that's cool.
This is a safe space.

307
00:15:08,812 --> 00:15:15,267
But I have, never been, uhm...
cummed inside, rawly.

308
00:15:15,371 --> 00:15:18,374
Sorry, I've never
had unprotected sex.

309
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:22,102
Wow.
- I've never
had unprotected sex either.

310
00:15:22,585 --> 00:15:24,414
- Are you just saying that?
- I'm serious.
- You're not lying?

311
00:15:24,518 --> 00:15:26,520
No, I mean,
I've heard great things
about it.

312
00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:29,005
Humanity is obsessed
with unprotected sex.

313
00:15:29,109 --> 00:15:30,903
I don't know,
it's risky out there, man.

314
00:15:31,007 --> 00:15:33,803
Diseases and shit.
I get tested every month.

315
00:15:33,906 --> 00:15:35,184
<i>Oh, yeah? Same.</i>

316
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:37,427
You don't go to the twins
on 43rd, do you?

317
00:15:37,531 --> 00:15:39,084
I-- I can't believe
you're saying this.

318
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,327
<i>- Oh my gosh.</i>
- Yes.

319
00:15:40,603 --> 00:15:41,673
I would trust those guys
with my life.

320
00:15:41,845 --> 00:15:42,985
Honestly.
- Totally.

321
00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:45,159
I mean, they're literally
my emergency contact.

322
00:15:45,263 --> 00:15:47,817
- Oh, that's a nice
two for one.
- Quite the duo.

323
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,267
I can't believe
you go to them.

324
00:15:57,482 --> 00:15:59,760
Dad died when I was
in high school.

325
00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:02,866
Mom died last year.
- No, I'm so sorry.

326
00:16:02,970 --> 00:16:06,629
- Yeah, it's okay.
- My mom died when I was three
and a half.

327
00:16:06,974 --> 00:16:10,460
My dad has issues, man.
He is a mess.

328
00:16:10,564 --> 00:16:13,670
He's, like, agoraphobic
and a hoarder.

329
00:16:13,774 --> 00:16:17,743
And he's kind of a deadbeat.
But I'm not trying to compete.

330
00:16:17,847 --> 00:16:20,470
Deadbeat dad's not as tough
as a dead, dead dad.

331
00:16:20,574 --> 00:16:23,922
Well, look, I think
we can both agree
that deadbeat, dead-dead,

332
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,510
they both suck.
- Yeah.

333
00:16:27,374 --> 00:16:29,203
Oh, it's all a mess.

334
00:16:29,479 --> 00:16:35,796
But I like to live with hope.
Today I saw a baby be born.

335
00:16:35,899 --> 00:16:37,246
What?

336
00:16:37,556 --> 00:16:40,145
Covered in shit.
It was life in a nutshell.

337
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:46,220
A perfect, flawless,
newborn human being enveloped
in its mother's shit.

338
00:16:46,324 --> 00:16:49,051
You should put that
on a t-shirt.

339
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:52,088
Thank you. Thank you.

340
00:16:54,711 --> 00:16:56,955
Do you want to try just
moving it, right?

341
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,060
Really?

342
00:16:58,715 --> 00:16:59,820
You want to try it?

343
00:16:59,923 --> 00:17:01,511
You want to show me
how to breastfeed
on your titties?

344
00:17:01,615 --> 00:17:02,512
Show me how you'd breastfeed
your titties.

345
00:17:02,616 --> 00:17:04,997
No, you try it.
No, you try it this way.

346
00:17:05,101 --> 00:17:10,382
Hi, sweet baby. How are you
enjoying the wonderful world,
cute stuff?

347
00:17:10,486 --> 00:17:13,005
Here's your creams.
Witch Hazel for your labia,

348
00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:14,800
Preparation H
for your hemorrhoids

349
00:17:14,904 --> 00:17:18,114
and super strength ibuprofen
for all your other pains.

350
00:17:18,218 --> 00:17:20,703
Bowel movement yet?
- No, not yet.

351
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:23,292
Would you like the card
of a lactation consultant?

352
00:17:23,395 --> 00:17:25,017
- Yes.
- No.
- No.

353
00:17:25,570 --> 00:17:27,365
Okay.
I'll just hold it.
But I don't want it.

354
00:17:27,468 --> 00:17:31,162
And before I go,
here's some diapers for you, cutie.

355
00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:33,025
And some diapers for you.

356
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:39,929
Come on, bubba.

357
00:17:40,032 --> 00:17:41,862
- It's okay.
- Come on.

358
00:17:42,207 --> 00:17:43,312
Was it this hard
the first time?

359
00:17:43,415 --> 00:17:44,865
Like, I can't even remember.

360
00:17:44,968 --> 00:17:46,315
Well, with Tommy

361
00:17:46,556 --> 00:17:50,560
you had a third degree tear
with four hemorrhoids.

362
00:17:50,664 --> 00:17:53,218
But this time, you only have
a second degree tear

363
00:17:53,529 --> 00:17:54,771
with three hemorrhoids.

364
00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:57,912
So you're kind of crushing it.

365
00:17:58,085 --> 00:17:59,190
Aw.

366
00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:05,161
You're doing great.

367
00:18:07,646 --> 00:18:10,684
Okay, so...
what are you thankful for?

368
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:12,237
What am I thankful for?

369
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,514
Come on,
It's our fourth train.

370
00:18:13,687 --> 00:18:14,929
It's the nice part
of the holiday,

371
00:18:15,102 --> 00:18:17,346
If you can ignore
the genocide.

372
00:18:17,518 --> 00:18:20,211
I don't know,
I guess I'm thankful
for my Xbox.

373
00:18:20,314 --> 00:18:21,177
Does that count?

374
00:18:22,178 --> 00:18:23,248
Yes.
<i>- Good.</i>

375
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,390
<i>- What do you play?</i>
- Street fighter.

376
00:18:27,494 --> 00:18:31,636
Dude, all I do
is Street Fighter.
Who is your character?

377
00:18:31,739 --> 00:18:35,433
Chun-Li.
- That is so feminist.
I love it.

378
00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:37,814
I mean, powerful thighs.
Unstoppable. Who's yours?

379
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:39,575
Ryu.
Loyal since day one.

380
00:18:39,678 --> 00:18:41,301
<i>- Wow.</i>
- What?

381
00:18:41,404 --> 00:18:43,061
Are we about
to throw down?

382
00:18:43,648 --> 00:18:47,479
I think I'm about
to throw you down
and you don't stand a chance.

383
00:18:53,313 --> 00:18:54,210
Wait, stop!

384
00:18:54,314 --> 00:18:55,246
No I won't.

385
00:18:55,349 --> 00:18:56,108
Is this even allowed?

386
00:18:56,212 --> 00:18:57,386
You mean winning?

387
00:18:57,731 --> 00:19:00,906
Okay. Even with a cheat?
Even with a cheat?

388
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:02,494
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

389
00:19:02,598 --> 00:19:05,670
Oh, sorry. I'm truly sorry...
- Damn it.

390
00:19:05,773 --> 00:19:08,949
...that I'm shockingly good
at Street Fighter.

391
00:19:25,862 --> 00:19:30,867
Do you think
that we are going to have sex?

392
00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:33,180
- Sex?
- Yes, that.

393
00:19:33,284 --> 00:19:37,805
Well, it's kind of up to us,
right? We could.

394
00:19:38,841 --> 00:19:39,773
We could not.

395
00:19:41,637 --> 00:19:44,847
I mean, it'd be nice.
How do you feel?

396
00:19:46,469 --> 00:19:50,093
I feel like it would also
be nice.

397
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:54,891
I have just one big wrinkle.

398
00:19:55,237 --> 00:20:01,346
Or it's more like
one big gelatinous clot.
I am on my period.

399
00:20:04,832 --> 00:20:05,833
And?

400
00:20:08,698 --> 00:20:09,768
Cool.

401
00:20:11,391 --> 00:20:12,702
Uhm, okay...

402
00:20:13,427 --> 00:20:15,567
So then, I have an idea.

403
00:20:17,328 --> 00:20:19,813
Our conversation
got my wheels turning

404
00:20:19,916 --> 00:20:22,816
on those no-condom feels.

405
00:20:22,954 --> 00:20:26,440
You know, I have my period,
so I can't get pregnant...

406
00:20:26,544 --> 00:20:28,891
And I'm clean
by the Twins this month.

407
00:20:29,029 --> 00:20:29,961
As am I.

408
00:20:32,929 --> 00:20:34,379
Let's go ruin a towel.

409
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,301
Oh my God.

410
00:20:59,646 --> 00:21:01,510
Do you speak other languages?

411
00:21:01,924 --> 00:21:02,890
Umpah.

412
00:21:03,063 --> 00:21:04,340
- Umpah.
- Wait.

413
00:21:04,651 --> 00:21:06,929
- Cake or pie?
- Definitely pie.

414
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:08,068
Yes.

415
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,449
Wait, does cheesecake count?

416
00:21:09,932 --> 00:21:14,350
Oh, that <i>is</i> the only cake
that may top pie.

417
00:21:14,454 --> 00:21:15,455
<i>Tell me when.</i>

418
00:21:17,249 --> 00:21:19,631
Not yet.
- Tell me when.
- Not yet.

419
00:21:19,769 --> 00:21:23,463
I studied French
from seventh grade
to 12th grade,

420
00:21:23,566 --> 00:21:26,776
and I-- I know un per.

421
00:21:27,984 --> 00:21:31,022
How about now?
Getting closer.

422
00:21:46,313 --> 00:21:48,073
<i>At Fourth Floor
Walk-Up Yoga,</i>

423
00:21:48,177 --> 00:21:51,007
<i>no one's judging your ass
through a window.</i>

424
00:21:51,111 --> 00:21:52,802
<i>You're safe up here.</i>

425
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:56,150
<i>So as we close out this year,
fuck a resolution.</i>

426
00:21:56,254 --> 00:21:59,671
Just thank yourself
for the work you already did
this year.

427
00:21:59,878 --> 00:22:02,881
Whatever you're doing,
keep doing that.

428
00:22:29,908 --> 00:22:31,393
Too soft.

429
00:22:32,497 --> 00:22:33,947
Too hard.

430
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,986
Missing.
- Missing?

431
00:22:39,090 --> 00:22:41,955
I think what we want to do
is just really amp up
your supply

432
00:22:42,058 --> 00:22:44,233
so it forces its way out.

433
00:22:44,336 --> 00:22:47,236
I'd like to recommend...

434
00:22:47,339 --> 00:22:49,272
...a hospital grade pump.

435
00:22:49,445 --> 00:22:53,173
This is the one and only
Her Majesty.

436
00:22:53,484 --> 00:22:57,522
I have seen Her Majesty
pull milk out of the nipples
of boy children.

437
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,386
She's that powerful.

438
00:22:59,593 --> 00:23:01,975
These are going super fast
from my Squarespace site:

439
00:23:02,078 --> 00:23:03,735
Lactation Lesley dot com.

440
00:23:03,908 --> 00:23:06,566
But I always bring
an extra one
for in-person clients.

441
00:23:07,705 --> 00:23:10,259
Okay, I'll get it.

442
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,399
<i>Don't know why
we're milking boys, but--</i>

443
00:23:12,503 --> 00:23:14,090
You need it, sweetie.

444
00:23:16,092 --> 00:23:17,473
Okay, I guess I'll just...

445
00:23:23,134 --> 00:23:26,793
Well, I'm going to get
started now, so thank you.

446
00:23:26,896 --> 00:23:27,759
You can go.

447
00:23:35,077 --> 00:23:36,699
Oh my God.

448
00:23:36,941 --> 00:23:39,840
Jesus Christ.
What happened to you?

449
00:23:39,978 --> 00:23:42,084
I got sprayed by Tommy.
- What?

450
00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:45,536
He refuses to wear undies,
so now he wants diapers again.

451
00:23:45,639 --> 00:23:46,882
Me too. So what?

452
00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:49,160
Some of it got in my mouth.
- Oh.

453
00:23:49,332 --> 00:23:52,301
Is it weird
that I love him so much
that I didn't even care?

454
00:23:52,715 --> 00:23:56,788
Like it wasn't good,
but it tasted cute.

455
00:23:56,892 --> 00:24:00,965
Oh my God,
that is the most romantic shit
you have ever said.

456
00:24:01,068 --> 00:24:02,760
I love you so much.

457
00:24:03,139 --> 00:24:05,279
Don't ever tell anyone
that story.
We are getting fucking weird.

458
00:24:05,383 --> 00:24:07,799
I think Tommy's jealous
that we're giving Melani
so much attention,

459
00:24:07,903 --> 00:24:09,560
so he's regressing.
- No, we have a baby.

460
00:24:09,663 --> 00:24:11,320
We don't need another baby.

461
00:24:11,907 --> 00:24:14,357
In fact, we had a second baby
because he's not a baby anymore.

462
00:24:14,461 --> 00:24:16,256
We timed it perfectly, okay?

463
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:19,639
So talk to your boy
and tell him to lock it
the fuck up.

464
00:24:19,742 --> 00:24:21,779
I'm sure he's. gonna follow
that logic.

465
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:25,541
I have to be diligent
with my pumping
with my low production.

466
00:24:25,645 --> 00:24:27,750
I gotta...

467
00:24:27,854 --> 00:24:29,234
...get to it.
<i>- Mommy.</i>

468
00:24:30,995 --> 00:24:32,479
<i>Daddy.</i>
- Okay, look, wait. Just wait.

469
00:24:32,583 --> 00:24:33,860
Stop stop stop, please.

470
00:24:33,963 --> 00:24:35,965
No. I made Melanie
with my body,

471
00:24:36,069 --> 00:24:39,141
and I'm going to feed her
with my body.

472
00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:41,108
I just have to figure out
how this thing works.

473
00:24:41,315 --> 00:24:43,041
Wait a second,
weren't you supposed
to hang out with Eden tonight?

474
00:24:43,145 --> 00:24:45,561
Yeah, but I canceled
because I've got to pump.

475
00:24:45,872 --> 00:24:48,081
Okay, listen, listen, listen,
listen. Put that down.

476
00:24:48,184 --> 00:24:50,221
Stop.
- What?

477
00:24:50,566 --> 00:24:53,224
I go back to work next week,
which means it's going
to be you and the babies

478
00:24:53,327 --> 00:24:55,364
for a couple of months,
and then you go back to work.

479
00:24:55,467 --> 00:24:56,952
I can't wait for the day.

480
00:24:57,055 --> 00:24:58,505
So please take me up on this.

481
00:24:58,609 --> 00:25:00,645
Go out tonight, have fun.

482
00:25:01,059 --> 00:25:03,061
Relaxing a bit
will be good for production.

483
00:25:05,236 --> 00:25:07,203
Oh my God,
you're absolutely right.
I love you so much.

484
00:25:07,307 --> 00:25:08,377
Bye. I'll miss you.

485
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,343
I'll miss you too.

486
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,416
Ooh! Pump and dump.

487
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,453
- Oh, and... oh.
- That's good. Thank you.

488
00:25:16,454 --> 00:25:17,524
<i>Wow.</i>

489
00:25:17,628 --> 00:25:19,940
Oh! Pump and dump!

490
00:25:20,044 --> 00:25:21,977
Do it. Pump it and dump it.

491
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,703
One more time.
Pump, pump, pump it up.

492
00:25:23,806 --> 00:25:25,325
Dump, dump, dump, dump,
dump it out.

493
00:25:25,428 --> 00:25:27,638
Mmm, that was good.

494
00:25:27,879 --> 00:25:31,262
I'm typically the ghost-er,
not the ghost-ee.

495
00:25:31,365 --> 00:25:33,057
<i>I just really liked him.</i>

496
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,266
He even left his bow tie here
and hasn't asked for it back.

497
00:25:35,369 --> 00:25:38,959
Okay, you fucked a guy
that owns a bow tie?

498
00:25:39,063 --> 00:25:42,618
That's, uhm... charming.
Do you have any shrooms?

499
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:44,413
Can you pump
and dump shrooms?

500
00:25:44,516 --> 00:25:46,380
<i>I can answer that.</i>

501
00:25:46,726 --> 00:25:49,625
I'm not producing anything.
So, you can't dump
what's not there.

502
00:25:49,729 --> 00:25:50,764
That's deep...

503
00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:52,628
I think.

504
00:25:52,732 --> 00:25:54,319
<i>Shrooms, please.</i>

505
00:25:54,423 --> 00:25:57,357
New Year's, us,
shrooms, please.

506
00:25:57,460 --> 00:25:59,255
New year's, us...
- What?

507
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,672
I can't say no to that.

508
00:26:01,775 --> 00:26:03,397
Ow!
- Aww.

509
00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:05,952
Okay, I'm gonna go
to my secret spot and get 'em.
- Okay.

510
00:26:06,055 --> 00:26:09,541
Oh, is this secret spot
in Fraggle Rock where--

511
00:26:09,645 --> 00:26:11,233
Ooh! Yay!

512
00:26:11,336 --> 00:26:12,717
You raw dogging it?

513
00:26:12,890 --> 00:26:14,132
No, actually, do you have,
like, a crostini

514
00:26:14,236 --> 00:26:15,686
or some butter
I can saute them in?

515
00:26:15,789 --> 00:26:16,997
I need a little nosh
with my shrooms.

516
00:26:17,101 --> 00:26:19,275
You are so classy
it's insane.

517
00:26:19,379 --> 00:26:20,414
Thank you.

518
00:26:22,175 --> 00:26:24,280
<i>This is our big titty
Ted Talk.</i>

519
00:26:24,384 --> 00:26:26,420
You're my best friends.

520
00:26:26,593 --> 00:26:29,113
I work for you.
I work for everyone.

521
00:26:29,941 --> 00:26:33,980
We gotta feed our baby.

522
00:26:35,706 --> 00:26:41,919
Moo!
Moo!

523
00:26:42,022 --> 00:26:44,715
Hello, Dawn!
It's your titties.

524
00:26:44,818 --> 00:26:47,959
We just woke the fuck up.

525
00:26:48,132 --> 00:26:51,411
Know what girl?
Prepare for a flood.

526
00:26:51,514 --> 00:26:53,689
<i>Here we go!</i>

527
00:26:58,556 --> 00:27:02,353
Oh shit! Eden! Here we go!

528
00:27:02,836 --> 00:27:06,288
Woo! Get me a bottle.

529
00:27:07,358 --> 00:27:08,842
Okay, got it.

530
00:27:08,946 --> 00:27:11,396
Woo! It's coming!

531
00:27:13,744 --> 00:27:15,228
Bitch, I'm a cow!

532
00:27:16,263 --> 00:27:17,679
<i>You see this? Woo!</i>

533
00:27:17,782 --> 00:27:20,336
Yes! Yes. What?

534
00:27:20,509 --> 00:27:24,168
Melanie, I'm coming home baby!
I'm coming home!

535
00:27:24,271 --> 00:27:26,377
Ow!

536
00:27:27,136 --> 00:27:28,413
Not again...

537
00:27:28,586 --> 00:27:31,416
Whoa! Oh, God.

538
00:27:31,589 --> 00:27:33,729
Come on, shrooms. Chill.

539
00:27:34,005 --> 00:27:36,870
You are some silly Simon.

540
00:27:36,974 --> 00:27:38,907
Oh...

541
00:27:39,183 --> 00:27:42,186
I am not pregnant.
Come on, shrooms.

542
00:27:42,289 --> 00:27:43,256
Ooh.

543
00:27:45,223 --> 00:27:47,432
Am I over a toilet?
- Completely.

544
00:27:50,366 --> 00:27:52,714
Okay, okay.

545
00:27:52,886 --> 00:27:54,405
Shall we make ice cream?

546
00:27:54,508 --> 00:27:55,509
Fuck!

547
00:27:56,890 --> 00:27:58,202
Ooh!

548
00:27:58,374 --> 00:28:00,204
I feel like I could just
breastfeed the Knicks.

549
00:28:00,307 --> 00:28:01,377
Dawn, uh...

550
00:28:01,481 --> 00:28:02,516
Crisis.

551
00:28:02,620 --> 00:28:04,035
Not in a sexual way, but...

552
00:28:04,898 --> 00:28:06,279
...also in a sexual way.

553
00:28:06,382 --> 00:28:07,694
<i>Line's positive.</i>

554
00:28:07,798 --> 00:28:08,764
Pregnant.

555
00:28:08,868 --> 00:28:11,249
I feel this!

556
00:28:15,357 --> 00:28:16,599
Oh, God.

557
00:28:16,841 --> 00:28:22,571
Okay. I'm thinking maybe,
just maybe,

558
00:28:22,674 --> 00:28:26,299
I am a pregnant person.

559
00:28:26,575 --> 00:28:29,612
I'm 28 for 28.
I could do a 29th?

560
00:28:29,716 --> 00:28:31,891
Yeah, no.

561
00:28:32,270 --> 00:28:34,859
You are clearly pregnant.
- Okay...

562
00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:37,448
I-- I don't know how
this could have happened.

563
00:28:37,551 --> 00:28:40,969
I've had sex once
since my last period,
but I was on my period.

564
00:28:41,348 --> 00:28:43,937
- So?
- So you can't get pregnant
on your period.

565
00:28:44,041 --> 00:28:47,769
Girl.
- Girl?
- Girl.

566
00:28:47,872 --> 00:28:50,150
- Girl.
- Girl
- Girl.

567
00:28:50,254 --> 00:28:51,393
<i>Yes you can.</i>

568
00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:53,153
Girl, stop!

569
00:28:53,844 --> 00:28:55,846
Girl, you stop.
We went to the same school.
We learned the same shit.

570
00:28:55,949 --> 00:28:57,468
Come on. No you can't.

571
00:28:57,571 --> 00:28:59,539
Ma'am, I'm a doctor.

572
00:29:00,816 --> 00:29:02,956
You are a dentist.

573
00:29:03,267 --> 00:29:04,509
You're a whore.

574
00:29:04,613 --> 00:29:05,787
True.

575
00:29:06,063 --> 00:29:08,513
You're a whore.
You're a flexible whore.

576
00:29:08,617 --> 00:29:09,583
Better believe.

577
00:29:09,860 --> 00:29:11,965
Maybe it's someone else?

578
00:29:12,069 --> 00:29:14,485
No, Claude is the only person
it could be.

579
00:29:14,588 --> 00:29:16,176
I don't even know
his last name.

580
00:29:16,487 --> 00:29:18,972
Maybe y'all got
some mutual people
you know in common?

581
00:29:19,076 --> 00:29:23,080
Oh, I don't think we do,
but uhm...

582
00:29:23,735 --> 00:29:25,220
Actually.

583
00:29:27,084 --> 00:29:29,500
Hey! Eden!
Hey, how are ya?

584
00:29:29,603 --> 00:29:31,640
Long time no see.
So, what are we doing today?

585
00:29:31,743 --> 00:29:33,124
Left arm, right arm?

586
00:29:33,469 --> 00:29:35,989
Uhm, actually,
I am not here to get tested.

587
00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:40,338
I am here to ask
about another patient.

588
00:29:41,719 --> 00:29:44,170
LOL. His name is Claude.

589
00:29:44,273 --> 00:29:46,379
Ooh, okay uh...

590
00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:48,726
Yeah. We can't talk
about other patients.

591
00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:50,383
I'm not sure
if you're familiar with HIPAA.

592
00:29:50,486 --> 00:29:52,350
It's against the rules.
- HIPAA.
- HIPAA.

593
00:29:52,454 --> 00:29:53,904
- Familiar with HIPAA?
- HIPAA, oh yeah.

594
00:29:54,007 --> 00:29:54,905
- We can't--
- Hope, HIPAA.

595
00:29:55,008 --> 00:29:56,354
I got a tip up for ya.

596
00:29:56,458 --> 00:29:58,011
It's that HIPAA.

597
00:29:58,598 --> 00:29:59,910
Ooh, you hit the HIPAA?
- You hit the HIPAA.
- He's hit the HIPAA.

598
00:30:00,013 --> 00:30:01,808
Hungry, hungry HIPAA.

599
00:30:02,188 --> 00:30:05,777
It's the H, the I, the P,
the P the A, the H,
the I, the P.

600
00:30:05,881 --> 00:30:07,124
Is HIPAA.

601
00:30:07,227 --> 00:30:08,919
Totally respect.
- Mh-hm.

602
00:30:09,022 --> 00:30:12,025
But the thing is I am...

603
00:30:12,888 --> 00:30:16,374
pregnant with Claude's fetus.

604
00:30:18,307 --> 00:30:20,896
I can't get him on the phone.
I don't know his last name.

605
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,450
You know how it is
because you test people
who fuck a lot.

606
00:30:23,554 --> 00:30:26,522
Uhm... he was just
in a Scorsese movie.

607
00:30:26,626 --> 00:30:28,524
Do you know him?
- Yeah, yeah.

608
00:30:28,628 --> 00:30:30,975
We-- we know exactly
who you're talking about.

609
00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,701
He's beautiful, man.
- Mm.

610
00:30:32,804 --> 00:30:34,772
Kind-- kind eyes.
He has kind eyes.

611
00:30:34,910 --> 00:30:37,913
But here's the thing about
him, though. Uh...

612
00:30:38,707 --> 00:30:39,950
He died.

613
00:30:40,053 --> 00:30:41,952
He died. He's dead.

614
00:30:43,643 --> 00:30:45,024
What?

615
00:30:45,369 --> 00:30:46,888
That was very poorly done.
- What do you mean?

616
00:30:46,991 --> 00:30:48,199
Bro, I mean, the other thing
about him?

617
00:30:48,303 --> 00:30:49,614
- It's hard news to break.
- Right.

618
00:30:49,718 --> 00:30:51,582
When? How?

619
00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:53,756
It was the day
after Thanksgiving.

620
00:30:53,860 --> 00:30:55,897
Freak accident.
He choked on an almond.

621
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:57,726
We were really surprised
to get the call,

622
00:30:57,829 --> 00:31:00,246
but also felt honored
that he saw us

623
00:31:00,349 --> 00:31:02,282
as emergency contact level dudes.

624
00:31:02,386 --> 00:31:04,215
He knows. Pretty cool.
- Right.

625
00:31:04,836 --> 00:31:07,184
Did he die alone?

626
00:31:07,287 --> 00:31:09,324
Yes he-- yes he did.
He died alone.

627
00:31:09,427 --> 00:31:11,671
There wasn't anyone there
to deliver the Heimlich.

628
00:31:11,774 --> 00:31:13,776
Yeah. It's perilous
to live alone.

629
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,847
One of the many reasons
I love living with this guy.

630
00:31:15,951 --> 00:31:18,574
- Right.
- We give each other
the Heimlich all the time.

631
00:31:18,678 --> 00:31:19,713
- All the time.
- Yeah.

632
00:31:19,955 --> 00:31:21,060
We had thin throats
growing up.

633
00:31:21,336 --> 00:31:22,337
I mean,
we have thin throats now.

634
00:31:22,544 --> 00:31:23,890
We were born premature, so...
- Yeah.

635
00:31:24,063 --> 00:31:25,961
- And we eat too fucking fast.
- Too fast.

636
00:31:26,410 --> 00:31:27,376
Me too.

637
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:34,936
Holy shit. I'm pregnant
with a dead man's baby?

638
00:31:35,764 --> 00:31:39,802
I mean, I wouldn't say that...
I mean, he was alive
when you fucked him.

639
00:31:39,906 --> 00:31:41,528
He was alive. He was alive
when you...

640
00:31:41,632 --> 00:31:43,427
But he is fucking currently.

641
00:31:43,703 --> 00:31:44,911
Well, yeah.
- Yeah.

642
00:31:45,015 --> 00:31:45,877
- He's gone.
- Yeah, yeah.

643
00:31:45,981 --> 00:31:47,155
- He's dead.
- Yeah.

644
00:31:54,438 --> 00:31:56,026
Single mom.

645
00:31:56,129 --> 00:31:58,476
She may not keep the baby. Choice.

646
00:31:58,580 --> 00:31:59,753
Oh, right. Right.

647
00:31:59,857 --> 00:32:02,204
Single...

648
00:32:33,270 --> 00:32:35,375
I do think that the subway
sounds like

649
00:32:35,479 --> 00:32:37,515
the Gregorian chants
from like the 1500s.

650
00:32:37,619 --> 00:32:38,551
That's weird.

651
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:43,901
There it goes again.
There it is.

652
00:33:19,937 --> 00:33:21,801
So you're sure that's a fetus

653
00:33:21,904 --> 00:33:26,495
and not like
my spleen got loose
and is floating around?

654
00:33:26,599 --> 00:33:30,016
I am as certain as I am that
this combover is no longer
working for me,

655
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:31,604
and I need a new idea.

656
00:33:32,639 --> 00:33:33,882
Mmm.

657
00:33:34,193 --> 00:33:36,747
I can't believe I got pregnant
on my period.

658
00:33:36,850 --> 00:33:40,440
I thought that was impossible.
<i>- It's not likely,
but possible.</i>

659
00:33:40,544 --> 00:33:43,340
Does the fetus look healthy?
Because I didn't know
I was pregnant

660
00:33:43,443 --> 00:33:47,965
and I've had
weed, shrooms, alcohol,

661
00:33:48,069 --> 00:33:51,727
sushi, coffee
and unpasteurized cheese.

662
00:33:51,831 --> 00:33:54,316
Well, if you decide
to continue
with the pregnancy,

663
00:33:54,420 --> 00:33:55,835
all of that has to stop.

664
00:33:55,938 --> 00:33:57,388
<i>But the fetus looks great.</i>

665
00:33:57,561 --> 00:33:59,770
We should do some genetic
testing to make sure

666
00:33:59,873 --> 00:34:01,461
there aren't any
big red flags.

667
00:34:01,565 --> 00:34:03,291
Jewish people carry
certain diseases.

668
00:34:04,430 --> 00:34:06,363
How did you know
I was Jewish?

669
00:34:06,466 --> 00:34:10,194
You put J on the form.
- Oh, I filled it out. Yeah.

670
00:34:10,470 --> 00:34:13,922
Okay. Do you only do
minority stuff?

671
00:34:14,025 --> 00:34:18,133
Certain ethnicities
carry certain
genetic diseases.

672
00:34:18,513 --> 00:34:21,723
So genetic testing
is necessarily racist.

673
00:34:21,826 --> 00:34:24,001
It's true. Doctor Morris
wanted to test me
for sickle cell,

674
00:34:24,105 --> 00:34:25,347
and I was offended.

675
00:34:25,451 --> 00:34:27,280
Well, you called me
a white devil.

676
00:34:28,039 --> 00:34:31,250
But turns out I'm a carrier,
so this white devil knows
what he's talking about.

677
00:34:31,422 --> 00:34:34,322
So we don't have
the father's DNA?

678
00:34:34,494 --> 00:34:37,428
No.
<i>- Okay, well we have your DNA,</i>

679
00:34:37,532 --> 00:34:40,328
so you can schedule
a screening with the Quest,

680
00:34:40,431 --> 00:34:44,401
and you can have the results
on your phone in a jiff.

681
00:34:44,504 --> 00:34:47,438
Okay. Guess I'll go swab up
some Jew cells.

682
00:34:51,615 --> 00:34:53,720
Hey big boy, you wanna
help Mama clean?

683
00:34:55,757 --> 00:34:57,276
Okay.

684
00:34:57,862 --> 00:35:01,521
Oh come on, I have refreshed
this app so many times

685
00:35:01,625 --> 00:35:03,213
<i>my phone is starting
to get hot.</i>

686
00:35:03,385 --> 00:35:05,525
You don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.

687
00:35:05,629 --> 00:35:08,287
Honestly? Honestly,
you wouldn't judge me
if I got an abortion?

688
00:35:08,390 --> 00:35:11,013
Even if the baby's healthy?
<i>- Absolutely not.</i>

689
00:35:11,290 --> 00:35:13,775
Look, you got to think
about yourself, Eden, okay?

690
00:35:13,878 --> 00:35:16,226
This is all about your choice
and what's good for you.

691
00:35:17,468 --> 00:35:18,814
Oh, the results are in,

692
00:35:21,023 --> 00:35:24,199
It says no red flags. And...

693
00:35:26,201 --> 00:35:27,306
It's all good.

694
00:35:27,409 --> 00:35:29,308
Listen. It's okay.

695
00:35:30,550 --> 00:35:32,897
I have your back,
no matter what.

696
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:36,970
Truly, truly, truly,
you will be there for me

697
00:35:37,074 --> 00:35:40,008
every step of the way,
no matter what choice I make?

698
00:35:40,319 --> 00:35:41,734
I need to know that.

699
00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:43,770
Yes.

700
00:35:44,633 --> 00:35:45,669
Okay.

701
00:35:47,084 --> 00:35:48,810
I am going to have...

702
00:35:52,745 --> 00:35:57,888
A baby.
I'm going to have the baby.

703
00:35:58,475 --> 00:36:01,512
Mom? Yeah.

704
00:36:01,926 --> 00:36:04,205
Okay.
- Yes. I'm going
to be a mother.

705
00:36:04,308 --> 00:36:08,070
I'm going to be a mommy,
I like that.

706
00:36:08,209 --> 00:36:10,590
Okay, mamacita.
No, that's appropriation.

707
00:36:10,694 --> 00:36:14,007
Okay,
I'm having a baby.

708
00:36:14,111 --> 00:36:16,320
Okay? Yes, dog.

709
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:18,426
Yeah. It just feels
like destiny.

710
00:36:18,529 --> 00:36:24,466
And this is Destiny's Child.
Can you believe that?

711
00:36:24,570 --> 00:36:26,641
Did you hear that,
Destiny's Child?

712
00:36:26,848 --> 00:36:29,022
Oh! Jumpin', jumpin'.

713
00:36:29,816 --> 00:36:31,542
Whoa. Okay. It's on.

714
00:36:31,715 --> 00:36:35,063
Eden. Are you sure about this?

715
00:36:35,581 --> 00:36:38,584
Because the hormones
can be pretty intense--

716
00:36:38,687 --> 00:36:39,723
Hormones? LOL.

717
00:36:39,895 --> 00:36:42,484
Mitch McConnell,
uhm, I love you. What?

718
00:36:42,588 --> 00:36:45,729
Eden, I just want to--

719
00:36:45,867 --> 00:36:48,249
I'm just trying to say--
What I'm-- I'm just.

720
00:36:48,352 --> 00:36:49,974
Dawn, you think I can do this.
Right?

721
00:36:52,218 --> 00:36:54,876
<i>Mama! Melanie's
waiting for you.</i>

722
00:36:56,222 --> 00:36:57,361
- Yeah.
- Yes!

723
00:36:57,465 --> 00:36:58,880
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

724
00:36:59,329 --> 00:37:00,675
<i>Mommy, really.</i>

725
00:37:02,021 --> 00:37:03,333
- Yes.
- Yes.

726
00:37:10,132 --> 00:37:13,929
<i>You did not
tell me how sexy it is
to be pregnant.</i>

727
00:37:14,033 --> 00:37:16,346
<i>Were you crazy horny?</i>

728
00:37:16,449 --> 00:37:18,382
<i>It comes out of nowhere.</i>

729
00:37:18,555 --> 00:37:21,454
<i>I honestly
can't even remember.</i>

730
00:37:21,558 --> 00:37:22,490
Hey.

731
00:37:31,430 --> 00:37:33,604
<i>But girl,
you been to the grocery store
lately?</i>

732
00:37:34,398 --> 00:37:36,745
<i>That produce is teasing us.</i>

733
00:37:38,782 --> 00:37:42,855
Two orgasms
are better than one.

734
00:38:01,356 --> 00:38:03,358
She's here, she's here.

735
00:38:03,462 --> 00:38:05,326
Nanny Dani is here.

736
00:38:06,119 --> 00:38:07,742
Oh, thank God.

737
00:38:09,122 --> 00:38:10,607
You had just moved here

738
00:38:10,779 --> 00:38:14,196
and I went
to the new playground
with Tommy.

739
00:38:14,300 --> 00:38:15,957
<i>Everyone was so fancy
up there.</i>

740
00:38:16,060 --> 00:38:19,340
One fancy couple liked
how I played with Tommy

741
00:38:19,443 --> 00:38:20,962
<i>and want me to go
and work for them,</i>

742
00:38:21,065 --> 00:38:22,722
<i>and I say I can't.</i>

743
00:38:23,309 --> 00:38:27,451
I work for Marty and Dawn,
but they asked me,
just babysit one night.

744
00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:29,522
And I said, okay.

745
00:38:30,109 --> 00:38:35,666
When fancy parents came back,
they offered me fancy drinks
and fancy desserts.

746
00:38:35,839 --> 00:38:38,807
One fancy thing led to another
and they offered me
a full time job.

747
00:38:38,911 --> 00:38:40,222
And I said yes.

748
00:38:40,637 --> 00:38:43,329
- Whore.
- You don't mean that.
She doesn't mean that.

749
00:38:43,433 --> 00:38:45,745
You're not that.

750
00:38:48,023 --> 00:38:51,544
Do you have any advice
for me as an upcoming
black parent?

751
00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:55,997
No, because you're
not a black parent.

752
00:38:56,100 --> 00:38:58,551
You're going
to be a white parent
of a half black child.

753
00:38:59,172 --> 00:39:01,416
Yes. Excellent note.

754
00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:03,038
Hey, how's everything going?

755
00:39:04,212 --> 00:39:07,180
Pregnancy wise,
I'm killing it.

756
00:39:07,284 --> 00:39:10,529
I don't have morning sickness,
but I do have
morning horniness.

757
00:39:10,701 --> 00:39:12,462
Afternoon and night as well.

758
00:39:12,565 --> 00:39:14,671
Well, that is wonderful.

759
00:39:14,843 --> 00:39:18,640
This--
Just don't look at it.
It's just way out of hand.

760
00:39:18,813 --> 00:39:21,160
Okay, well,
I read that it's good

761
00:39:21,263 --> 00:39:24,784
to have a birth plan,
and I read some basic ones,

762
00:39:24,888 --> 00:39:27,580
and they are just so sterile.

763
00:39:27,684 --> 00:39:30,169
I mean, all they talk about
is medicine and apparatuses.

764
00:39:30,272 --> 00:39:31,619
I'm like, cool?

765
00:39:31,722 --> 00:39:34,794
I want this birth
to be original,

766
00:39:34,898 --> 00:39:37,210
one that celebrates humanity.

767
00:39:37,314 --> 00:39:38,660
I'm thinking less
in clinical terms

768
00:39:38,764 --> 00:39:40,662
<i>and more along the line
of theme.</i>

769
00:39:41,007 --> 00:39:45,978
And the theme of my birth
will be, drumroll please,
Doctor Morris.

770
00:39:47,807 --> 00:39:49,257
Prom.

771
00:39:49,671 --> 00:39:51,846
Prom sucked for me,
Claude hated it too.

772
00:39:51,949 --> 00:39:54,607
<i>A person, giving birth
should be the prom of life.</i>

773
00:39:54,711 --> 00:39:56,644
<i>That's when the pageantry
is truly deserved.</i>

774
00:39:56,747 --> 00:40:03,064
So welcome to...
Eden's prom birth extravaganza.

775
00:40:04,928 --> 00:40:08,069
I've already started building
a epic Spotify playlist.

776
00:40:08,172 --> 00:40:13,108
Okay, I'll, I'll read this
when I have a chance
to really take it in.

777
00:40:13,212 --> 00:40:15,248
Actually, that's the only
hard copy I have,

778
00:40:15,352 --> 00:40:18,251
so I will email you guys PDFs.

779
00:40:21,289 --> 00:40:24,637
And now guys we're going
to gently go
into downward dog, okay?

780
00:40:34,544 --> 00:40:37,167
Let's go into upward dog.

781
00:41:02,572 --> 00:41:04,574
Oh, it is scorching out here.

782
00:41:04,677 --> 00:41:08,785
What? It's 61 and beautiful.
You are scorching.

783
00:41:08,888 --> 00:41:11,339
Oh, man. It feels like
the surface of the sun.

784
00:41:11,788 --> 00:41:14,687
God, I am flying
through underwear.

785
00:41:14,791 --> 00:41:16,689
Oh, yeah,
the random vagina waters.

786
00:41:16,793 --> 00:41:20,417
It's not piss, it's not sweat.
It's just like a--

787
00:41:20,521 --> 00:41:23,213
A proper mix, like...
like salad dressing.

788
00:41:25,215 --> 00:41:26,596
You sure you gonna be okay
to babysit?

789
00:41:26,699 --> 00:41:28,356
<i>Oh, yeah. Of course.</i>

790
00:41:28,459 --> 00:41:30,116
You and Marty
deserve a date night.

791
00:41:35,432 --> 00:41:37,227
Never treble burped before.

792
00:41:37,503 --> 00:41:40,057
You look good, though, bitch.
Let's go.

793
00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:45,097
Yes. Oh, are you crowning?

794
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,031
We don't know,
but you got a crown on.

795
00:41:50,205 --> 00:41:52,104
I don't know
if you're giving me
Little Kim or Rachel Dolezal,

796
00:41:52,207 --> 00:41:53,588
but I'm here for it.

797
00:41:54,106 --> 00:41:55,832
Give me, 'Oops.
Did I just have
the last donut?'

798
00:41:55,935 --> 00:41:57,212
What?

799
00:41:57,696 --> 00:42:00,422
Give me shy whore.
You know how to do it.

800
00:42:03,460 --> 00:42:04,495
Hi.

801
00:42:05,911 --> 00:42:07,291
Babe, we got to go to dinner.

802
00:42:07,395 --> 00:42:08,948
I'm in the zone, Marty.

803
00:42:09,086 --> 00:42:10,812
Why is she wearing
a mosquito net?

804
00:42:12,331 --> 00:42:14,057
That's fine.

805
00:42:16,059 --> 00:42:19,614
Jesus Christ,
you scared me, Tommy.

806
00:42:21,823 --> 00:42:24,585
Okay, I'm not
your mommy or your daddy.

807
00:42:24,688 --> 00:42:27,173
I've always considered us friends.

808
00:42:27,277 --> 00:42:33,835
So as a friend,
what is going on
with the baby thing?

809
00:42:33,939 --> 00:42:35,734
I don't know, it's fun.

810
00:42:36,217 --> 00:42:37,321
It's fun.

811
00:42:37,632 --> 00:42:39,910
I hear that, but I don't know.

812
00:42:40,014 --> 00:42:43,673
To me, being a baby
looks like it sucks.

813
00:42:43,776 --> 00:42:47,677
Like if you were a big boy,
I'd ask you
to watch this with me.

814
00:42:47,780 --> 00:42:50,714
It's an R-rated movie.

815
00:42:50,852 --> 00:42:54,062
It's called The Omen.
It's about a boy like you.

816
00:42:54,166 --> 00:42:59,654
- Is he a big boy or a baby?
- He's actually the devil.

817
00:42:59,758 --> 00:43:01,207
Woo?

818
00:43:01,311 --> 00:43:02,692
What's the devil?

819
00:43:02,864 --> 00:43:05,349
Okay, let's just watch.
No more spoilers.

820
00:43:05,453 --> 00:43:11,562
But if I let you watch,
you cannot tell your parents, okay?

821
00:43:11,770 --> 00:43:16,706
And you're going
to stop acting like a baby.

822
00:43:17,741 --> 00:43:18,846
Deal?

823
00:43:23,713 --> 00:43:25,369
Deal.
- Okay.

824
00:43:26,405 --> 00:43:27,717
He a big boy.

825
00:43:28,441 --> 00:43:29,719
Oh, with a paci, but...

826
00:43:30,374 --> 00:43:31,375
It 's a start.

827
00:43:38,417 --> 00:43:40,902
Whoa! That was intense.

828
00:43:42,939 --> 00:43:44,906
<i>It's your tone.
I have no tone.</i>

829
00:43:45,010 --> 00:43:46,045
<i>- That's the tone I'm--
- Shh!</i>

830
00:43:47,702 --> 00:43:51,844
Hey. He uh... couldn't sleep.

831
00:43:52,327 --> 00:43:55,227
It's okay.
All right, buddy, let's go.

832
00:43:55,330 --> 00:43:57,885
Let's go upstairs.
Come on, Tommy.

833
00:43:58,057 --> 00:44:00,473
Come on.
There we go.

834
00:44:02,061 --> 00:44:03,753
Oh, we're still doing
the paci? Okay.

835
00:44:03,856 --> 00:44:06,687
You got it? All right.
Say good night to Eden.

836
00:44:06,997 --> 00:44:08,792
Oh, what a good dada.

837
00:44:09,068 --> 00:44:11,830
Dada can go fuck himself.
- Totally.

838
00:44:11,933 --> 00:44:14,108
<i>The whole night,
he was just going on and on</i>

839
00:44:14,211 --> 00:44:16,489
and on about
my low milk production.

840
00:44:16,593 --> 00:44:20,286
I mean, he even said
I should quit
because I'm stressed

841
00:44:20,390 --> 00:44:22,841
and that I should feel
more confident

842
00:44:22,944 --> 00:44:24,877
and I should feel good
about myself.

843
00:44:24,981 --> 00:44:28,329
And he said I was beautiful.
- That sucks.

844
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:31,125
When you hear that
from somebody who love
and supports you.

845
00:44:31,228 --> 00:44:33,714
It's the worst.
He's such a know it all.

846
00:44:33,817 --> 00:44:37,959
Are you guys
having sexual intercourse?

847
00:44:38,235 --> 00:44:41,756
No. Not since Melanie
was born.

848
00:44:41,860 --> 00:44:44,207
That makes sense.
That makes a ton of sense.

849
00:44:44,310 --> 00:44:46,657
It's not like I don't want
to, I do.

850
00:44:46,761 --> 00:44:48,245
Did you see him
in that sweater?

851
00:44:48,418 --> 00:44:49,764
He looks good.

852
00:44:50,316 --> 00:44:52,560
What parent
wears white clothing?
It's wild.

853
00:44:52,663 --> 00:44:57,807
But there's never a time
because we're so busy
and have so many things to do.

854
00:44:57,910 --> 00:44:59,740
And he's always holding a kid,
which is really hot.

855
00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:03,088
But you can't just knock
the kid out of his hand
and sit on his dick.

856
00:45:03,191 --> 00:45:05,573
<i>That's not how life works.</i>

857
00:45:05,676 --> 00:45:07,886
God, gotta go milk the donuts.

858
00:45:09,301 --> 00:45:10,958
Here we go again.

859
00:45:12,131 --> 00:45:14,064
All right, I'm going
to ask you something.

860
00:45:14,168 --> 00:45:17,171
How many feedings
are you getting in

861
00:45:17,274 --> 00:45:20,001
with your titty milk
for Melanie in a day.

862
00:45:20,657 --> 00:45:22,141
Like, one day?

863
00:45:22,314 --> 00:45:25,662
You know how the earth spins
on an axis?

864
00:45:25,766 --> 00:45:27,284
I know how it works,
yeah, a day.

865
00:45:27,388 --> 00:45:30,943
So, I would say one-ish

866
00:45:32,289 --> 00:45:33,463
Bitch.

867
00:45:35,189 --> 00:45:36,949
- Bitch.
- Mm-mm bitch.

868
00:45:37,156 --> 00:45:39,745
- Bitch.
- Bitch.
- Biatche.

869
00:45:39,849 --> 00:45:42,230
- Bitch.
- Bitch.
- Bitch.

870
00:45:42,334 --> 00:45:45,820
- Bitch.
- The stories you tell
yourself, bitch.

871
00:45:45,924 --> 00:45:50,514
- Bitch.
- Bah bah bah bitch.
- Bitch.

872
00:45:51,757 --> 00:45:54,484
<i>Come on, dude,
why are you doing it?</i>

873
00:45:57,487 --> 00:45:58,902
I just...

874
00:45:59,282 --> 00:46:02,733
I just want that feeling
of nourishing.

875
00:46:04,287 --> 00:46:06,599
You want to nourish?
I laugh at that.

876
00:46:06,703 --> 00:46:08,947
All you do is nourish.

877
00:46:09,050 --> 00:46:11,984
You nourish Melanie,
you nourish Tommy,

878
00:46:12,088 --> 00:46:13,710
you nourish Marty,
you nourish me,

879
00:46:13,848 --> 00:46:15,505
<i>you nourish
the fucking mail carrier.</i>

880
00:46:15,954 --> 00:46:19,164
You nourish the bodega guy,
you walk in a room,
you're sunshine.

881
00:46:19,267 --> 00:46:22,339
You're giving light, warmth,
energy without even trying.

882
00:46:22,443 --> 00:46:23,927
<i>All you do is nourish.</i>

883
00:46:24,203 --> 00:46:27,137
You're-- You're a night time
cruise buffet of nourish.

884
00:46:27,275 --> 00:46:28,414
Enough.

885
00:46:30,485 --> 00:46:33,661
Okay, uhm... Wow.

886
00:46:33,764 --> 00:46:35,525
<i>You know, honestly,
I could use a little break</i>

887
00:46:35,628 --> 00:46:38,459
because my nipples,
they look like, uhm...

888
00:46:38,562 --> 00:46:41,358
Have you ever seen a sausage,
but not in the casing?

889
00:46:41,462 --> 00:46:43,153
That's what my nipples
look like.

890
00:46:43,257 --> 00:46:44,879
They look like
a melted Tootsie roll,

891
00:46:44,983 --> 00:46:47,778
just a very long, brown,
skinny, sugary sweet.

892
00:46:47,882 --> 00:46:49,884
Ew? Mm.

893
00:46:49,988 --> 00:46:52,438
Sometimes I feel like
getting my nipple in my bra

894
00:46:52,542 --> 00:46:54,924
is like figuring out
how to fold a fitted sheet.

895
00:46:55,027 --> 00:46:56,891
There's just so many corners.

896
00:46:56,995 --> 00:46:58,997
Something
to look forward to.

897
00:46:59,100 --> 00:47:01,896
It's just, I don't want
to be a quitter.

898
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,311
You don't have to go out
on breastfeeding

899
00:47:03,415 --> 00:47:05,210
with your tail
between your legs.

900
00:47:05,486 --> 00:47:07,177
You can fucking attack.

901
00:47:10,940 --> 00:47:12,803
I love that flower pot.
- Oh, sorry.

902
00:47:12,907 --> 00:47:14,219
But I also love that.

903
00:47:15,496 --> 00:47:16,600
Ooh.

904
00:47:16,807 --> 00:47:19,362
Come on. Is it
the espadrilles?

905
00:47:19,465 --> 00:47:20,570
Ha!

906
00:47:20,881 --> 00:47:22,710
No, Dawn,
I want to see you destroy.

907
00:47:22,813 --> 00:47:24,470
Everything about our bodies
is wrong.

908
00:47:24,574 --> 00:47:26,783
You get a complex
that you're not enough,

909
00:47:26,887 --> 00:47:29,027
so here it is. What are you
going to do?

910
00:47:29,130 --> 00:47:30,960
Okay, uhm... Yeah.

911
00:47:31,063 --> 00:47:34,411
You made me feel like I suck,
and I know I don't suck.

912
00:47:34,515 --> 00:47:36,655
You don't suck shit!

913
00:47:36,827 --> 00:47:38,346
Oh, God, I think
I peed a little.

914
00:47:38,795 --> 00:47:40,555
That's right.
- You want to pump some more?
- That's right.

915
00:47:40,659 --> 00:47:42,385
- You wanna pump some more?
- Get him, Tony!

916
00:47:42,488 --> 00:47:44,490
- Do you wanna pump some more?
- Get him Tony!

917
00:47:44,594 --> 00:47:47,666
- Do you want to pump some
more?
- Get him Tony!

918
00:47:47,769 --> 00:47:50,462
What's that?
What's that, you finicky
little bitch?

919
00:47:50,565 --> 00:47:53,396
Oh, you want me
to light you on fire?

920
00:47:53,568 --> 00:47:55,363
No problem.

921
00:47:55,536 --> 00:47:56,537
Help me up.

922
00:48:15,349 --> 00:48:17,420
<i>So make sure that Tommy
wears his big boy undies</i>

923
00:48:17,523 --> 00:48:20,802
and that he sits on the potty.
He won't like it,
but definitely--

924
00:48:20,906 --> 00:48:22,908
I understand,
I will do my best.

925
00:48:23,012 --> 00:48:26,222
Uhm... God, what else
was I gonna say?

926
00:48:26,325 --> 00:48:28,741
It's been so long
since I've been back to work.

927
00:48:28,845 --> 00:48:30,122
I'm just, uhm--

928
00:48:30,605 --> 00:48:31,952
Don't worry, I've got this.
I'm from East New York.

929
00:48:32,055 --> 00:48:34,402
I raised, like, 438 kids.

930
00:48:34,506 --> 00:48:36,059
Okay, great.
I'm gonna get going then.

931
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,750
Go start your work life.

932
00:48:37,923 --> 00:48:39,442
I'm gonna start
my work life. Thank you.

933
00:48:39,545 --> 00:48:41,375
What are you, like,
the Puerto Rican Brene Brown?

934
00:48:41,478 --> 00:48:43,480
Dominican, but it's okay,
my husband's Boricua.

935
00:49:00,635 --> 00:49:02,637
<i>Welcome back,
kiddo!</i>

936
00:49:05,364 --> 00:49:06,883
Hi honey!

937
00:49:07,263 --> 00:49:09,782
Look at you.
- Look at me.

938
00:49:09,990 --> 00:49:12,716
Your timing is perfect.
I just heard back.

939
00:49:12,820 --> 00:49:15,719
You're one of the finalists
for the Invisalign campaign.

940
00:49:15,823 --> 00:49:17,204
Oh, my God, that's amazing.

941
00:49:17,307 --> 00:49:18,619
They're down to three.

942
00:49:18,722 --> 00:49:20,207
<i>Oh that's great.</i>

943
00:49:20,655 --> 00:49:22,450
That is so great.
We could really use
the extra money.

944
00:49:22,554 --> 00:49:25,177
<i>I always dreamed I'd be
one of those nine out of ten</i>

945
00:49:25,281 --> 00:49:28,215
dentists agree spokespeople
for commercials.

946
00:49:28,387 --> 00:49:30,493
But I just never had the chin
for TV.

947
00:49:30,596 --> 00:49:31,839
You have it.

948
00:49:31,942 --> 00:49:33,392
You know what?

949
00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:36,257
You have a shot
because you are good looking
for a dentist.

950
00:49:36,361 --> 00:49:37,983
I think this
was a compliment, right?

951
00:49:38,087 --> 00:49:39,536
And I have found
in my experience,

952
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:42,574
good looking dentists
are serial killers,

953
00:49:43,264 --> 00:49:45,094
<i>but not you.</i>

954
00:49:45,577 --> 00:49:48,476
Fingers crossed.
I'm going to keep you posted
on this one, okay?

955
00:49:48,580 --> 00:49:49,891
Thanks.

956
00:49:50,168 --> 00:49:52,342
Welcome back.
Come on, come on everybody.

957
00:49:57,382 --> 00:49:59,004
Hey, Tommy.
Just coming to check.

958
00:49:59,108 --> 00:50:01,041
Did you put on
your big boy undies?

959
00:50:26,169 --> 00:50:27,515
Ah...

960
00:50:30,863 --> 00:50:35,178
<i>Babe,
I am so sorry,
but I can't make the amnio.</i>

961
00:50:35,282 --> 00:50:37,491
<i>Our new nanny just quit.</i>

962
00:50:37,905 --> 00:50:40,218
<i>I didn't know Satan worship
was a part of regression
for a child,</i>

963
00:50:40,321 --> 00:50:42,392
<i>but I got to get
the fuck home.</i>

964
00:50:42,772 --> 00:50:46,189
<i>He drew six six sixes
and upside down crosses
all over his room.</i>

965
00:50:47,017 --> 00:50:49,089
<i>He hissed at her in tongues.</i>

966
00:50:49,192 --> 00:50:52,230
<i>Uh, anyways, I'm so sorry.
Good luck, Boo!</i>

967
00:51:08,867 --> 00:51:13,630
<i>Hey Dad. It's
Eden, your grown daughter.</i>

968
00:51:13,837 --> 00:51:18,566
Uhm, I just wanted
to let you know
that I'm having a baby.

969
00:51:19,015 --> 00:51:25,987
And I have a really big
appointment today. Amniocentesis.

970
00:51:26,126 --> 00:51:28,852
I know you don't like
tall buildings

971
00:51:28,956 --> 00:51:31,579
or-- or small buildings
or hospitals,

972
00:51:31,683 --> 00:51:35,721
but I was just curious
if you might want to come.

973
00:51:36,205 --> 00:51:40,036
I can text you the details.
I know, I know,
it's last minute.

974
00:51:40,140 --> 00:51:42,590
Either way, though, congratulations.

975
00:51:42,694 --> 00:51:46,525
You're--you're going
to be a grandpa, so...

976
00:51:46,629 --> 00:51:48,009
Yeah. Okay.

977
00:51:48,113 --> 00:51:49,494
Bye.

978
00:51:56,466 --> 00:51:59,193
Woah.
- Looking good.

979
00:52:00,332 --> 00:52:02,438
Fantastic head shape.

980
00:52:02,576 --> 00:52:04,819
Hey, speaking of head shape,
what do you think?

981
00:52:04,923 --> 00:52:05,717
You know, with the shaved.

982
00:52:07,995 --> 00:52:09,203
It's nice.

983
00:52:09,307 --> 00:52:10,963
It's terrible,
but I appreciate it.

984
00:52:12,724 --> 00:52:15,209
Do you want to know the sex?
- No, thank you.

985
00:52:15,313 --> 00:52:17,177
I don't want to put a binary
on them right now,

986
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:20,456
but I feel like I know.
Maternal intuition.

987
00:52:20,697 --> 00:52:22,906
It is a male spirit.
- Uh-huh.

988
00:52:23,010 --> 00:52:28,118
How wild is it
to have a vagina
and be growing a penis?

989
00:52:28,291 --> 00:52:30,569
I have a baby dick
inside of me? What?

990
00:52:30,673 --> 00:52:32,157
Yeah. I never thought of that.

991
00:52:32,330 --> 00:52:35,160
Little fetus penis.
That almost rhymes.

992
00:52:35,298 --> 00:52:36,575
But I don't want
to know formally,

993
00:52:36,679 --> 00:52:38,715
because I want Dawn here
for that.

994
00:52:38,819 --> 00:52:40,855
And I'm pretty sure
she'd want to be here
for that, too.

995
00:52:42,098 --> 00:52:43,755
Just to toss it out...

996
00:52:43,962 --> 00:52:49,554
You might want to hire a doula
just in case Dawn's too busy

997
00:52:49,657 --> 00:52:50,900
with, you know, her family.

998
00:52:51,003 --> 00:52:52,729
Wait, what? Say it again.

999
00:52:53,316 --> 00:52:55,732
Well, Dawn might be too busy
with her family, you know,
given the schedule.

1000
00:52:55,836 --> 00:52:59,426
No, no, no.
Dawn and I are family.

1001
00:52:59,529 --> 00:53:02,808
We are sisters.
- Uh-huh.
- Spouses.

1002
00:53:03,188 --> 00:53:05,294
Parents to each other
at times.

1003
00:53:05,397 --> 00:53:09,367
So I just hear you, thank you,
but no thank you.

1004
00:53:10,091 --> 00:53:12,093
So, uhm...

1005
00:53:12,370 --> 00:53:14,579
Amnio time. You ready?
It's a pretty big needle.

1006
00:53:14,682 --> 00:53:17,513
Yes. Just don't stab
my baby's dick.

1007
00:53:17,754 --> 00:53:19,377
I'm going to be more worried
about the head.

1008
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:20,688
Both are precious.

1009
00:53:23,898 --> 00:53:25,037
It's a good sized pocket.

1010
00:53:27,005 --> 00:53:28,144
<i>Thank you.</i>

1011
00:53:28,420 --> 00:53:31,354
Oh, what?
- I told you it was big.

1012
00:53:31,458 --> 00:53:33,736
That's not big.
That's-- that's LOL.

1013
00:53:33,839 --> 00:53:34,909
What are we--

1014
00:53:35,013 --> 00:53:36,566
That's for my--

1015
00:53:36,739 --> 00:53:38,119
- Yeah.
- Cool.

1016
00:53:38,327 --> 00:53:40,398
No. Cool.
- Okay, you ready?
- Mh-hm.

1017
00:53:40,777 --> 00:53:43,470
- Okay.
- Mh-hm.

1018
00:53:43,677 --> 00:53:44,471
All right.

1019
00:53:46,818 --> 00:53:48,406
No no no no no no no no no.
Just stop.

1020
00:53:48,509 --> 00:53:49,924
Just give me a sec.
Just give me a sec.

1021
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,274
Wow, you are such a big man.
You need that needle.

1022
00:53:54,377 --> 00:53:55,654
It does--
You're double my size.

1023
00:53:55,758 --> 00:53:57,380
What do you need
this needle for?

1024
00:53:57,656 --> 00:54:01,350
It does eventually have to go
inside to get the fluid.

1025
00:54:01,453 --> 00:54:03,593
That needle's nuts!

1026
00:54:03,766 --> 00:54:06,044
Okay, what about a blindfold?

1027
00:54:06,147 --> 00:54:07,563
How about that?

1028
00:54:08,184 --> 00:54:10,945
We don't blindfold
our patients, it's--
it's unethical.

1029
00:54:11,152 --> 00:54:14,086
Okay, how about a gag? Hm?

1030
00:54:14,915 --> 00:54:16,779
No gags, no blindfolds.

1031
00:54:16,986 --> 00:54:19,782
We don't do medicine that way.
It'll be fine.

1032
00:54:21,370 --> 00:54:23,199
You won't even feel it.
- Okay, okay.

1033
00:54:23,303 --> 00:54:24,649
Okay? Good.

1034
00:54:25,926 --> 00:54:27,341
Doctor Morris.

1035
00:54:27,548 --> 00:54:29,412
<i>- Good, good, good.</i>
- Je trust.

1036
00:54:29,723 --> 00:54:31,000
Okay.

1037
00:54:31,103 --> 00:54:32,829
No, no!

1038
00:54:33,623 --> 00:54:37,455
Mm-mm No. Sorry.

1039
00:54:37,593 --> 00:54:39,042
<i>I wasn't even close.</i>

1040
00:54:39,180 --> 00:54:41,804
Mm, I was ready, but I--

1041
00:54:42,943 --> 00:54:44,772
Okay.
- Okay, okay.

1042
00:54:45,083 --> 00:54:46,498
Okay.
<i>- I'll gag you.</i>

1043
00:54:46,981 --> 00:54:48,224
Ah...

1044
00:54:48,500 --> 00:54:52,228
Now don't tell anyone.

1045
00:54:55,956 --> 00:54:57,026
Perfect.

1046
00:54:58,338 --> 00:54:59,408
Oh, Jesus.

1047
00:54:59,615 --> 00:55:00,788
Sorry Doctor Morris!

1048
00:55:00,961 --> 00:55:03,239
This is my dad. Oh.

1049
00:55:03,481 --> 00:55:04,758
What are you doing
to my kid, man?

1050
00:55:04,999 --> 00:55:07,243
You could come in and just--
just take a seat.

1051
00:55:07,381 --> 00:55:08,451
- Okay.
- Hi.

1052
00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:09,487
<i>How you doing?</i>

1053
00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:12,938
Ready?
Mh-hm.

1054
00:55:16,010 --> 00:55:18,806
Okay, there it is.

1055
00:55:21,361 --> 00:55:23,052
Sorry. I'm sorry.

1056
00:55:23,328 --> 00:55:25,088
Keep going, keep going,
keep going.

1057
00:55:25,468 --> 00:55:26,849
Sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.

1058
00:55:34,235 --> 00:55:35,823
If this isn't good--
- No, no, no.

1059
00:55:35,927 --> 00:55:37,653
It's great, it's great,
it's fantastic.

1060
00:55:44,798 --> 00:55:47,870
So who's the uhm...
Who's the dad?

1061
00:55:48,871 --> 00:55:50,493
This guy Claude.

1062
00:55:50,907 --> 00:55:55,774
He reminds me of Mom,
actually, from what
you've described.

1063
00:55:58,018 --> 00:55:58,881
Where the fuck is he?

1064
00:56:00,848 --> 00:56:01,849
He died.

1065
00:56:04,196 --> 00:56:05,128
Oh wow.

1066
00:56:06,682 --> 00:56:07,855
He is like Mom.

1067
00:56:12,135 --> 00:56:13,378
Shit.

1068
00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:15,656
Yeah.
- Honey, I'm so sorry.

1069
00:56:16,346 --> 00:56:17,727
Yeah.

1070
00:56:18,038 --> 00:56:19,384
Does he have any family?

1071
00:56:19,660 --> 00:56:22,318
Not really. It's just small
like ours.

1072
00:56:22,422 --> 00:56:23,837
Not a lot left.

1073
00:56:24,354 --> 00:56:27,703
I tracked down his
closest relative
who got his ashes.

1074
00:56:27,806 --> 00:56:30,775
It was his second cousin,
and we zoomed.

1075
00:56:30,878 --> 00:56:33,847
I thought it was going to be
this mind blowing moment,

1076
00:56:33,950 --> 00:56:36,643
but it definitely
just creeped her out.

1077
00:56:37,644 --> 00:56:38,852
W-- were you together long?

1078
00:56:40,716 --> 00:56:43,304
No, not-- not long.

1079
00:56:43,615 --> 00:56:45,514
But I don't know,
I don't know...

1080
00:56:46,376 --> 00:56:48,931
It was an important connection.

1081
00:56:49,034 --> 00:56:50,104
A real connection.

1082
00:56:51,174 --> 00:56:52,244
Connection?

1083
00:56:52,555 --> 00:56:55,489
It can't be measured in time,
you know?

1084
00:56:55,593 --> 00:56:57,733
Grammy and grandpa
were together for 50 years.

1085
00:56:57,836 --> 00:56:59,735
They hated each other's guts.

1086
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:07,397
And I know, myself,
I've not been the best parent,
perhaps, in the world.

1087
00:57:07,501 --> 00:57:13,576
But maybe one of the perks
of being a bad dad is that,
I don't know...

1088
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:17,822
You turned out so good.
So, so strong, so resourceful.

1089
00:57:19,582 --> 00:57:24,518
So you think
if you were a good dad,
I'd be a worse person?

1090
00:57:24,622 --> 00:57:27,210
Exactly. That's exactly
what I mean.

1091
00:57:27,314 --> 00:57:29,868
I mean, there's all kinds
of great dads out there
with shitty kids, right?

1092
00:57:29,972 --> 00:57:32,388
That's true.
That's really true.

1093
00:57:32,837 --> 00:57:39,257
If a guy like me, right,
with the scant crumbs
of parenting that I put forth,

1094
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:45,677
can call somebody
as sensational as you are
his daughter,

1095
00:57:46,575 --> 00:57:47,817
Well, you got this.

1096
00:57:48,335 --> 00:57:49,543
You can do this.

1097
00:57:51,925 --> 00:57:53,582
Thanks, Dad.

1098
00:57:53,754 --> 00:57:56,723
Look, honey, I know this
should be, like, a great time

1099
00:57:56,826 --> 00:58:01,728
for this to turn
into a Nora Ephron movie,
you know?

1100
00:58:01,831 --> 00:58:03,661
And I come to all
your appointments and stuff,

1101
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,077
but I'm sorry, honey,
I just can't, I won't.
It's not going to happen.

1102
00:58:06,180 --> 00:58:08,113
You know, just sitting here,
I just start to feel.

1103
00:58:08,217 --> 00:58:09,839
I'm just-- My heart's racing.
It's just not good.

1104
00:58:09,943 --> 00:58:11,254
I don't feel good. You know,
- I feel you.

1105
00:58:11,358 --> 00:58:13,429
It's okay. This...

1106
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,363
This was good.
I got a lot out of this crumb.

1107
00:58:16,536 --> 00:58:19,193
No, it-- it sucks.

1108
00:58:19,469 --> 00:58:24,371
But I want you to know
that I would really love
to meet your baby someday.

1109
00:58:24,716 --> 00:58:27,547
Okay? But I gotta go--
I gotta go now. I'm sorry.

1110
00:58:34,450 --> 00:58:35,865
Thanks, Dad.
- Okay.

1111
00:58:51,916 --> 00:58:54,263
I missed
the Invisalign meeting.

1112
00:58:54,643 --> 00:58:56,472
<i>They're going to go
with someone else
and we need that money.</i>

1113
00:58:56,576 --> 00:58:58,854
<i>Okay, but I can't
take time off work like you.</i>

1114
00:58:58,957 --> 00:59:00,614
Just give it a couple
more weeks,
we'll find another Nanny.

1115
00:59:00,718 --> 00:59:01,788
Guys. Hey, guys.

1116
00:59:01,891 --> 00:59:04,584
Hey. I got your message.

1117
00:59:04,687 --> 00:59:08,035
I was just in the area
after my appointment

1118
00:59:08,139 --> 00:59:10,797
and saw your share location
was here.

1119
00:59:10,900 --> 00:59:15,387
Used my keys. Hey.
So, uh, yeah.

1120
00:59:15,491 --> 00:59:19,288
Good news from the appointment
is my, appetite's coming back?

1121
00:59:20,496 --> 00:59:22,222
So, uhm, 'sup?

1122
00:59:30,161 --> 00:59:31,162
Uhm...

1123
00:59:31,265 --> 00:59:34,683
My amnio was pretty good,

1124
00:59:34,924 --> 00:59:37,858
but Doctor Morris
was just like,
"Where's Dawn?"

1125
00:59:37,962 --> 00:59:42,725
And I didn't know what to say.
He was kind of pissed and sad.

1126
00:59:42,829 --> 00:59:47,627
Just because you said
you were going to be
at all the appointments.

1127
00:59:49,042 --> 00:59:51,631
So just maybe
you shouldn't miss more.

1128
00:59:51,941 --> 00:59:55,151
Our children
were almost abandoned

1129
00:59:55,255 --> 00:59:58,948
because you decide
to show Tommy The Omen.

1130
00:59:59,052 --> 01:00:01,571
He just demon-ed our nanny
right out of our house.

1131
01:00:01,675 --> 01:00:06,197
Whoa! He told you?
We had a deal.

1132
01:00:06,300 --> 01:00:08,199
We, you know,
pinky-sweared out or whatever,

1133
01:00:08,302 --> 01:00:10,339
but that's their language
at that point.

1134
01:00:10,442 --> 01:00:11,996
He's four going on one.

1135
01:00:12,168 --> 01:00:14,274
He's not beholden
to pinky swears, Eden.

1136
01:00:14,377 --> 01:00:15,931
<i>I'm so sorry.</i>

1137
01:00:16,276 --> 01:00:18,968
I was trying
to do a nice thing,
and it backfired.

1138
01:00:19,279 --> 01:00:20,245
And I'll...

1139
01:00:21,108 --> 01:00:21,971
I'll go.

1140
01:00:26,286 --> 01:00:27,597
Okay, I'll see ya.

1141
01:00:28,046 --> 01:00:30,221
Okay, one last thing.
- Oh my God.

1142
01:00:30,324 --> 01:00:33,017
<i>Doctor Morris was just like,
"Maybe you should
get a doula."</i>

1143
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:36,227
And I was like, "What?
What are you talking about?"

1144
01:00:36,330 --> 01:00:38,747
"I don't think Dawn's going
to miss more."

1145
01:00:38,954 --> 01:00:42,060
So should I even consider
getting a doula?

1146
01:00:42,164 --> 01:00:43,579
Yeah.

1147
01:00:44,028 --> 01:00:47,341
I think you should get a doula
because we have no childcare.

1148
01:00:47,445 --> 01:00:48,618
Get a doula.

1149
01:00:48,929 --> 01:00:50,828
Got it. Okay,
I'm going to get a doula.

1150
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:54,141
Just get a back up doula.
Not a definite doula.

1151
01:00:54,245 --> 01:00:57,558
I'm going to get
a doula back up.
Not a doula definite.

1152
01:00:57,662 --> 01:00:59,112
No. You should get a doula
as a definite.

1153
01:01:00,009 --> 01:01:02,115
Definitely get yourself
a doula

1154
01:01:02,218 --> 01:01:03,495
I-- I-- I got it.

1155
01:01:03,599 --> 01:01:05,394
Sorry about that. All right.

1156
01:01:05,497 --> 01:01:07,223
I'll uh...

1157
01:01:07,327 --> 01:01:08,224
You can have the chips.

1158
01:01:11,089 --> 01:01:14,506
Why does she
still have a key?
- I don't know.

1159
01:01:14,610 --> 01:01:16,439
Same.

1160
01:01:17,717 --> 01:01:20,616
Crazy. Your face,
your resume, your vibe.

1161
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:22,411
We are very similar.

1162
01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:25,000
I think you're gonna find that
all doulas are super similar
to you, dude.

1163
01:01:25,103 --> 01:01:26,277
You should just be a doula.

1164
01:01:27,416 --> 01:01:28,728
Thank you.

1165
01:01:29,107 --> 01:01:31,420
I'm looking for a backup Dawn,
and she's like a foil,

1166
01:01:31,523 --> 01:01:34,112
whereas you're like a--
Saran wrap.

1167
01:01:34,388 --> 01:01:36,321
You know--
- I know what you mean.

1168
01:01:38,945 --> 01:01:40,153
I'm going to have to pass.

1169
01:01:54,477 --> 01:01:55,685
Okay. You can go.

1170
01:01:55,962 --> 01:01:58,827
Why am I a doula as a man?
Simple.

1171
01:01:59,241 --> 01:02:01,553
I just want to honor
the female body.

1172
01:02:01,691 --> 01:02:03,038
Get out!

1173
01:02:03,452 --> 01:02:06,006
I'm sorry.
I know it sounds creepy,
but it's true.

1174
01:02:06,110 --> 01:02:07,490
<i>I really mean it.</i>

1175
01:02:07,905 --> 01:02:10,459
Let me hear it
one more time.

1176
01:02:10,700 --> 01:02:12,737
I want to honor
the female body.

1177
01:02:12,875 --> 01:02:14,187
I'm sorry.

1178
01:02:14,774 --> 01:02:17,397
Maybe I'm backwards.
but when you say that
I get sick.

1179
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:18,708
That's your journey.

1180
01:02:18,812 --> 01:02:20,262
Okay, don't say journey.

1181
01:02:20,365 --> 01:02:21,263
Get out of here.

1182
01:02:22,540 --> 01:02:24,576
Your name? Dragana.

1183
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:26,337
What does that mean,
a female dragon?

1184
01:02:26,509 --> 01:02:27,614
No.

1185
01:02:27,890 --> 01:02:29,236
I figured. I was just joking.

1186
01:02:30,582 --> 01:02:33,240
So what's your experience
level?

1187
01:02:33,344 --> 01:02:36,209
40 years doula,
40 years wet nurse.

1188
01:02:37,210 --> 01:02:39,453
You've been a wet nurse
for 40 years?

1189
01:02:39,557 --> 01:02:42,422
Lactating every day since 16.

1190
01:02:43,803 --> 01:02:46,633
Hallelujah.

1191
01:02:46,736 --> 01:02:50,464
I mean, people don't even know
about the phenomenon
of wet nursing,

1192
01:02:50,568 --> 01:02:54,883
keeping milk pumping
through your titties
to feed other people's babies.

1193
01:02:56,712 --> 01:02:58,887
I love this, this electricity.

1194
01:03:00,474 --> 01:03:02,511
You're the one.
You're back up, Dawn.

1195
01:03:03,753 --> 01:03:04,893
Okay.

1196
01:03:06,791 --> 01:03:07,965
Tommy.

1197
01:03:08,137 --> 01:03:09,829
You gonna be good to Blanche?

1198
01:03:10,243 --> 01:03:12,072
Blanche, you're not afraid
of witches or anything
like that?

1199
01:03:12,176 --> 01:03:14,005
Demons, chupacabras?

1200
01:03:14,316 --> 01:03:16,421
<i>You can say so.
- No?
- No judgment. [laughs]</i>

1201
01:03:16,732 --> 01:03:18,492
You're locked in.
You are locked in.

1202
01:03:18,665 --> 01:03:19,769
Bye. You guys.

1203
01:03:19,873 --> 01:03:21,668
Bye. Love you so much.

1204
01:03:21,771 --> 01:03:23,359
<i>The good times
are here.</i>

1205
01:03:29,262 --> 01:03:30,573
Tommy, be good.

1206
01:03:30,746 --> 01:03:33,542
Love you so much.
- See ya!

1207
01:03:50,214 --> 01:03:52,319
<i>Mom!</i>

1208
01:03:54,459 --> 01:03:56,668
<i>Mom! Mommy!</i>

1209
01:03:57,877 --> 01:04:00,051
Mommy! Mom!

1210
01:04:02,157 --> 01:04:06,402
Happy Birthday,
dear Daddy

1211
01:04:08,818 --> 01:04:13,237
Happy Birthday
to you

1212
01:04:20,658 --> 01:04:22,556
<i>The monsters
are gonna be faster
than the humans.</i>

1213
01:04:36,605 --> 01:04:38,193
Dawn!

1214
01:04:38,296 --> 01:04:39,711
Good to see you. Been a while.

1215
01:04:39,815 --> 01:04:40,850
Yeah, you too.

1216
01:04:40,954 --> 01:04:42,093
I've been swamped.

1217
01:04:42,404 --> 01:04:44,682
<i>Work and kids and
work and kids.</i>

1218
01:04:44,785 --> 01:04:47,892
It was also Marty's birthday
weekend. No big deal.

1219
01:04:47,996 --> 01:04:50,032
More work, more kids.

1220
01:04:50,136 --> 01:04:55,072
But I took the day off
to sort of break it up
to be here. So, yeah.

1221
01:04:55,175 --> 01:04:57,177
I am so grateful
to have you back.

1222
01:04:57,281 --> 01:05:00,560
I'm running on fumes.
- Oh yeah, the end.

1223
01:05:00,663 --> 01:05:05,185
Yeah, so close but so far.
And it only gets worse
from here.

1224
01:05:05,634 --> 01:05:11,467
My wife and I had a babymoon
little trip,

1225
01:05:11,605 --> 01:05:13,297
before the baby was born
to celebrate.

1226
01:05:13,504 --> 01:05:15,747
Because you don't have time
after, right?
- That's right.

1227
01:05:17,404 --> 01:05:19,096
It's the last time I had hair.

1228
01:05:20,614 --> 01:05:21,961
And truthfully, a wife.

1229
01:05:22,271 --> 01:05:23,479
Oh.

1230
01:05:23,686 --> 01:05:26,137
Oh no, she's not dead.
She just hates bald guys.

1231
01:05:26,241 --> 01:05:27,725
Tried to fix it
with these stupid plugs,

1232
01:05:27,828 --> 01:05:30,210
but now I look like
a fucking monster.

1233
01:05:30,486 --> 01:05:35,940
No, you're wearing plugs?
I had zero clue.

1234
01:05:36,044 --> 01:05:38,529
Same. They look natural.

1235
01:05:38,632 --> 01:05:42,567
Very, like, I want to run
my finger in that.

1236
01:05:42,671 --> 01:05:46,123
Thank you. Still, a babymoon
is a good idea.

1237
01:05:46,226 --> 01:05:47,710
That is a really good idea.
I just uhm...

1238
01:05:47,814 --> 01:05:52,198
It would be so weird
and sad to go alone.

1239
01:05:52,336 --> 01:05:53,578
I would go with you.
- What?

1240
01:05:53,682 --> 01:05:58,583
Yeah I-- I really need this--
to do for you.

1241
01:05:58,687 --> 01:06:01,586
I want to do this for you.

1242
01:06:03,899 --> 01:06:05,521
You're a good doctor.

1243
01:06:08,179 --> 01:06:10,250
Whoo! All right!

1244
01:06:10,733 --> 01:06:14,151
Mama's ready
to let her hair down
and take her tits out.

1245
01:06:14,254 --> 01:06:17,464
<i>I'm free. Oh my God.</i>

1246
01:06:17,568 --> 01:06:20,053
Oh, my God, I haven't been
on a bridge in a while.

1247
01:06:20,157 --> 01:06:23,229
When I say baby,
you say moon, baby...

1248
01:06:23,332 --> 01:06:25,127
- Moon.
- Baby...
- Moon.

1249
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:26,611
- Baby...
- Moon.

1250
01:06:26,784 --> 01:06:28,993
Babymoon, here we go.

1251
01:06:29,097 --> 01:06:30,512
Okay, I'm just
gonna lay back.

1252
01:06:30,615 --> 01:06:31,996
Woo!

1253
01:06:40,798 --> 01:06:42,938
<i>Welcome, champagne?</i>

1254
01:06:43,042 --> 01:06:44,422
Hi, I'll take these.
Thank you.

1255
01:06:44,526 --> 01:06:48,288
- Hi. Oh, sorry, I'm pregnant.
- Okay.

1256
01:06:48,392 --> 01:06:51,464
So, do you have anything
that's non-alcoholic?

1257
01:06:51,567 --> 01:06:53,673
Yeah. Of course.
Here you go.

1258
01:06:53,776 --> 01:06:57,056
Oh, actually,
is this one of those flowers
you can eat?

1259
01:06:57,332 --> 01:07:01,198
Like, one of those fun,
edible flowers or just a...

1260
01:07:01,784 --> 01:07:04,339
big dumb flower you plopped
in the water.

1261
01:07:04,442 --> 01:07:05,926
I don't know,
these are just the flowers

1262
01:07:06,030 --> 01:07:08,688
we have here
in all the water.

1263
01:07:11,242 --> 01:07:12,795
Well, I'll pass.

1264
01:07:12,899 --> 01:07:14,866
Okay, of course. No problem.

1265
01:07:15,143 --> 01:07:16,627
Congrats, by the way.

1266
01:07:16,730 --> 01:07:17,869
Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.

1267
01:07:22,495 --> 01:07:26,223
...out of this world.
Whoo!
- Okay!

1268
01:07:26,326 --> 01:07:29,191
Yes, I'm getting country,
I'm getting city.

1269
01:07:29,295 --> 01:07:31,366
I'm just feeling wealthy.

1270
01:07:32,677 --> 01:07:36,129
Oh, hey! Oh, ho!

1271
01:07:37,096 --> 01:07:41,134
Oh my God, look at this bed.
- Yes.

1272
01:07:41,238 --> 01:07:44,137
Look at you.
- So Japanese and so Feng Shui.

1273
01:07:44,241 --> 01:07:45,552
Get on here.
It's so comfortable. Try it.

1274
01:07:46,898 --> 01:07:48,210
<i>Oh my goodness.</i>

1275
01:07:48,314 --> 01:07:49,901
<i>Oh, and there's free wine.</i>

1276
01:07:50,005 --> 01:07:50,902
Ohh...

1277
01:07:51,006 --> 01:07:52,525
That is-- sounds good.

1278
01:07:52,628 --> 01:07:53,629
Okay.

1279
01:07:53,802 --> 01:07:54,941
<i>It's a cab sauv.</i>

1280
01:07:55,044 --> 01:07:56,598
<i>My favorite.</i>
- Ohh.

1281
01:07:57,012 --> 01:08:00,222
I'm gonna go wash my poon
because she is feeling dank.

1282
01:08:00,326 --> 01:08:03,294
Ohh.
<i>- Comfy, right?</i>
- Yes.

1283
01:08:03,467 --> 01:08:04,916
Bitch, it's a babymoon.

1284
01:08:05,020 --> 01:08:07,436
Whoo!

1285
01:08:09,611 --> 01:08:11,475
Ah, I don't...

1286
01:08:12,372 --> 01:08:15,410
Oh, okay. That...
that did help.

1287
01:08:15,513 --> 01:08:16,618
Okay.

1288
01:08:17,722 --> 01:08:18,516
Ah!

1289
01:08:41,988 --> 01:08:45,509
Welcome. Dawn on this table,
other guest on this one.

1290
01:08:45,612 --> 01:08:48,097
Please undress
and get settled,
and we'll be back in a moment.

1291
01:08:48,201 --> 01:08:49,375
Thank you.

1292
01:08:51,825 --> 01:08:55,174
Okay. Can you lay
on your stomach, please?

1293
01:08:55,277 --> 01:08:57,383
Oh. No, I'm-- I'm pregnant.

1294
01:08:57,486 --> 01:08:58,556
Okay.

1295
01:08:58,970 --> 01:09:01,214
There is a button to click
if you are pregnant.

1296
01:09:01,318 --> 01:09:04,148
Just so we can get
a special trained person
for you.

1297
01:09:04,252 --> 01:09:05,736
Did you click it?
- I didn't book it.

1298
01:09:05,839 --> 01:09:09,153
She did. Dawn, did you click
a pregnant button?

1299
01:09:09,257 --> 01:09:13,122
<i>Oh, so good already
right there.</i>

1300
01:09:13,226 --> 01:09:15,711
Okay, so...
what. should we do?

1301
01:09:15,815 --> 01:09:20,337
I don't know,
I've never worked
on a pregnant person before,

1302
01:09:20,440 --> 01:09:21,959
so I just don't want to do
something wrong.

1303
01:09:22,062 --> 01:09:25,031
I guess I have this fear
that I will tweak a nerve

1304
01:09:25,134 --> 01:09:28,759
of yours, and then
the blood flow gets cut off
and the baby drops dead.

1305
01:09:28,862 --> 01:09:30,139
Jesus.

1306
01:09:30,450 --> 01:09:33,453
Very dark. Yeah,
we don't want to do that.

1307
01:09:33,557 --> 01:09:35,697
I don't want to waste
your money or your time.

1308
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:38,493
So let me just think
of something else
I could do for you, okay?

1309
01:09:40,874 --> 01:09:45,189
Oh, yeah.

1310
01:09:45,293 --> 01:09:46,846
How about
a nice foot massage?

1311
01:09:46,984 --> 01:09:48,606
I don't think I could kill
your baby through your feet.

1312
01:09:48,710 --> 01:09:50,021
You know what?

1313
01:09:50,574 --> 01:09:53,370
A foot massage sounds good,
but could we, pump the brakes

1314
01:09:53,473 --> 01:09:55,579
on the baby killing verbiage?

1315
01:09:55,682 --> 01:09:58,685
No more of that.
Now, let's get going on
those feet, okay?

1316
01:09:59,686 --> 01:10:00,791
Okay.

1317
01:10:06,969 --> 01:10:09,351
Oh, yeah.

1318
01:10:12,216 --> 01:10:13,390
<i>So good.</i>

1319
01:10:14,494 --> 01:10:16,151
Could you go
a little firmer?

1320
01:10:16,289 --> 01:10:19,879
It feels like a bug
is crawling on my feet.

1321
01:10:19,982 --> 01:10:22,502
I just don't want
to press too hard because...

1322
01:10:22,606 --> 01:10:24,642
Well, you don't want me
to say.

1323
01:10:24,746 --> 01:10:28,508
When you say you don't want me
to say, I know what you mean.

1324
01:10:28,612 --> 01:10:31,477
So it still kills the vibe.

1325
01:10:31,649 --> 01:10:34,859
Could you give me
any pressure, please?

1326
01:10:34,997 --> 01:10:35,895
Okay.

1327
01:10:41,935 --> 01:10:45,560
Oh, it's so good.

1328
01:10:46,285 --> 01:10:48,873
<i>Oh, your hands are magic.</i>

1329
01:10:56,812 --> 01:11:01,058
Ooh, sorry it took so long, honey.

1330
01:11:01,196 --> 01:11:04,544
I washed my hands, like,
50 times.
The soap is so good.

1331
01:11:04,648 --> 01:11:07,340
Smell. It's a jelly.

1332
01:11:08,583 --> 01:11:10,861
Okay? I can't eat anything
right now.

1333
01:11:10,964 --> 01:11:12,103
I would eat those hands.

1334
01:11:12,276 --> 01:11:14,451
So good. I took some
to take home.

1335
01:11:14,554 --> 01:11:17,523
I was just gonna ask you
how the house is feeling now.

1336
01:11:17,626 --> 01:11:19,179
A little while in.

1337
01:11:19,801 --> 01:11:20,940
Are you guys still thinking
of making the basement
an Airbnb?

1338
01:11:21,181 --> 01:11:22,769
Ugh, the quote from the
contractor was crazy,

1339
01:11:22,873 --> 01:11:24,599
so we don't even know
if it's worth it.

1340
01:11:26,014 --> 01:11:27,912
Okay, so I-- I had an idea.

1341
01:11:28,016 --> 01:11:30,605
<i>Wine plate
for you.</i>
- Thank you.

1342
01:11:30,950 --> 01:11:34,471
- Water for you,
flower on the side.
- Thank you so much.

1343
01:11:35,368 --> 01:11:37,301
Mmm. You know what? Excuse me.

1344
01:11:37,439 --> 01:11:39,303
Can I get another flight?
<i>- Yes, ma'am.</i>

1345
01:11:39,407 --> 01:11:41,478
Thank you. Just making
a round trip.

1346
01:11:44,239 --> 01:11:45,344
Ooh.

1347
01:11:46,137 --> 01:11:48,450
That is delicious. Ooh.

1348
01:11:51,350 --> 01:11:52,730
Oh, it's a little buttery.

1349
01:11:55,630 --> 01:11:56,665
Ahh.

1350
01:11:56,976 --> 01:11:59,565
So, you said you had an idea.
What is it?

1351
01:12:02,706 --> 01:12:05,571
Maybe not while you're drunk.

1352
01:12:05,674 --> 01:12:09,229
It's a little more serious.
- I'm not drunk.

1353
01:12:09,368 --> 01:12:10,886
I'm just relaxed,
I'm having fun.

1354
01:12:10,990 --> 01:12:12,129
I'm a little tipsy.

1355
01:12:12,232 --> 01:12:14,959
Okay, okay.

1356
01:12:15,235 --> 01:12:20,171
Well, I was thinking,
what about instead
of an Airbnb,

1357
01:12:21,034 --> 01:12:26,730
me and my baby moved in.

1358
01:12:29,629 --> 01:12:34,669
Are you serious?
- Yeah I am.

1359
01:12:38,293 --> 01:12:40,088
Can't you picture it?

1360
01:12:40,191 --> 01:12:44,437
You guys upstairs
and me and my baby downstairs.

1361
01:12:44,541 --> 01:12:46,750
Just around.

1362
01:12:46,922 --> 01:12:48,890
<i>You know, we just would
never have to say goodbye.</i>

1363
01:12:48,993 --> 01:12:53,239
We would have that casual
see you later vibes.

1364
01:12:53,826 --> 01:12:57,312
I-- just going through this,
I would love that comfort.

1365
01:12:57,416 --> 01:13:01,143
And, come on,
we always dreamed
of living like that.

1366
01:13:01,247 --> 01:13:03,318
Girl, we dreamed
about that shit
when we were 11.

1367
01:13:03,456 --> 01:13:04,699
We were children.

1368
01:13:04,802 --> 01:13:06,286
We're grown ups now, adults.

1369
01:13:06,390 --> 01:13:08,012
<i>That's not realistic. Okay?</i>

1370
01:13:08,116 --> 01:13:09,428
Okay.

1371
01:13:09,773 --> 01:13:11,671
But we never dreamed
at any age

1372
01:13:11,775 --> 01:13:14,571
of taking four trains
for two hours

1373
01:13:14,674 --> 01:13:20,024
to hang out for 45 minutes
where you're pretty bitchy
and not fun the whole time.

1374
01:13:22,510 --> 01:13:23,511
Can I be honest with you?

1375
01:13:28,239 --> 01:13:30,725
I am exhausted.

1376
01:13:31,208 --> 01:13:33,279
<i>Exhausted actually doesn't
even cover it.</i>

1377
01:13:33,382 --> 01:13:35,626
I-- I did this to myself.

1378
01:13:35,764 --> 01:13:37,386
I'm mind fucked myself.

1379
01:13:37,559 --> 01:13:39,216
Because when your first kid
gets a little older,

1380
01:13:39,492 --> 01:13:41,321
you think, "Wow,
this isn't so bad.
I could do this again."

1381
01:13:41,425 --> 01:13:44,635
And like a fucking lunatic,
you have a second child

1382
01:13:44,739 --> 01:13:46,223
thinking that shit's going
to be easier.

1383
01:13:46,326 --> 01:13:48,190
And it's not.

1384
01:13:48,363 --> 01:13:53,057
The first year
with your second child
is a special kind of hell.

1385
01:13:53,195 --> 01:13:55,577
<i>It is vicious, relentless.</i>

1386
01:13:55,750 --> 01:13:58,891
An endless loop
of other people's needs.

1387
01:13:59,063 --> 01:14:03,033
Which is why me
and the basement
would be chill.

1388
01:14:03,136 --> 01:14:04,828
Chill?

1389
01:14:05,553 --> 01:14:11,420
You think this would be chill?
In my already suffocating,
storm of shit fire.

1390
01:14:11,524 --> 01:14:15,424
You decided to have a baby
with a random
fucking stranger.

1391
01:14:15,528 --> 01:14:18,462
Whoa. Hurtful dude.

1392
01:14:18,566 --> 01:14:21,534
Claude really meant something
to me.

1393
01:14:21,776 --> 01:14:24,537
And I know all this
may be weird,

1394
01:14:24,641 --> 01:14:27,367
and do I wish I was normal?

1395
01:14:27,471 --> 01:14:31,371
Do I wish I could live
in boring, predictable bliss?

1396
01:14:31,475 --> 01:14:34,582
Of course I do, but I'm not.

1397
01:14:34,685 --> 01:14:38,620
I had something special
with this one person.

1398
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:40,242
So here we are.

1399
01:14:40,346 --> 01:14:43,763
And sure, I'm scared
of the decision I made.

1400
01:14:43,867 --> 01:14:47,940
I feel, like,
a lion is chasing me scared.

1401
01:14:48,181 --> 01:14:52,634
<i>But I know that we can handle
anything together,</i>

1402
01:14:52,738 --> 01:14:55,188
and we wouldn't even have
to be having this conversation

1403
01:14:55,292 --> 01:14:59,848
if you didn't just up and move
to the Upper West Side
without even consulting me.

1404
01:14:59,952 --> 01:15:03,127
Oh my God, I do not
have to consult you.

1405
01:15:03,265 --> 01:15:06,648
Adults don't plan their lives
around their best friends.

1406
01:15:06,821 --> 01:15:11,757
Jesus Christ Eden,
with the 11 year old dreams
and the birth prom plan.

1407
01:15:11,860 --> 01:15:13,655
<i>You live like a child.</i>

1408
01:15:13,828 --> 01:15:16,555
Have you even started
to prep baby stuff
in your house?

1409
01:15:16,658 --> 01:15:18,522
Or are you just waiting for me
to do it?

1410
01:15:18,695 --> 01:15:20,317
No, you know what
you're waiting for?

1411
01:15:20,420 --> 01:15:23,285
You want to move into my house
and mooch off of my family?

1412
01:15:23,389 --> 01:15:24,632
Fuck you.

1413
01:15:25,011 --> 01:15:27,669
Best friends
are so fucked over
in adulthood.

1414
01:15:27,773 --> 01:15:30,776
If we don't
couple ourselves off,
we are fucked.

1415
01:15:30,914 --> 01:15:32,950
Not everybody's made up
like that.

1416
01:15:33,123 --> 01:15:35,056
I've known you twice as long
as Marty.

1417
01:15:35,159 --> 01:15:38,956
And a lifetime longer
than Tommy
and Melanie's brand new ass.

1418
01:15:39,060 --> 01:15:41,649
What? Just because
we're not blood related,
we're not family?

1419
01:15:41,821 --> 01:15:45,929
That's bullshit.
You and me, we're family.

1420
01:15:52,314 --> 01:15:53,661
We're family.

1421
01:15:56,042 --> 01:15:57,354
I have a family.

1422
01:16:02,117 --> 01:16:05,017
<i>Listen. And I say this
for your own good.</i>

1423
01:16:05,224 --> 01:16:11,506
Rather than living together
and becoming too reliant
on each other,

1424
01:16:11,782 --> 01:16:15,337
I think it's good for us
to take some space,
gain our independence.

1425
01:16:15,441 --> 01:16:19,548
We can just focus
on our families.

1426
01:16:19,652 --> 01:16:22,310
I can focus on mine,
you can focus on yours.

1427
01:16:26,694 --> 01:16:29,144
I really do think
this will be for the best.

1428
01:16:31,008 --> 01:16:33,217
Yeah, I think
it will be fucking great.

1429
01:17:02,177 --> 01:17:03,420
Marty?

1430
01:17:04,904 --> 01:17:06,388
Marty?

1431
01:17:07,596 --> 01:17:08,805
<i>We're in the kitchen.</i>

1432
01:17:16,295 --> 01:17:17,468
What was that?

1433
01:17:17,641 --> 01:17:19,056
What is going on?

1434
01:17:19,747 --> 01:17:21,507
What is that smell?

1435
01:17:21,852 --> 01:17:24,441
<i>I tried to get Tommy
on the potty again.</i>

1436
01:17:24,544 --> 01:17:28,894
We flushed, and then the pipes
backed up
and everything exploded.

1437
01:17:30,965 --> 01:17:32,898
Tommy's never getting back
on the potty.

1438
01:17:34,244 --> 01:17:35,348
Neither will I.

1439
01:17:37,765 --> 01:17:39,974
So, I figured out
what happened.

1440
01:17:40,388 --> 01:17:42,459
There was a clog
in an old original pipe.

1441
01:17:42,562 --> 01:17:45,427
<i>I'm talking about
a 200 year old clog here.</i>

1442
01:17:45,531 --> 01:17:50,191
Centuries of new shit
just piling up on old shit
and just pushing that shit.

1443
01:17:50,294 --> 01:17:52,780
<i>Almost like new shit
was shitting out
the old shit.</i>

1444
01:17:52,883 --> 01:17:55,748
And I mean, like,
Revolutionary War dook, man.

1445
01:17:55,852 --> 01:17:58,095
<i>It's like New Amsterdam, Arakaka.</i>

1446
01:17:58,233 --> 01:17:59,890
And suddenly it all went pop!

1447
01:18:02,686 --> 01:18:04,412
<i>That's the nightmare
we're all smelling up
our noses right now.</i>

1448
01:18:04,619 --> 01:18:05,724
We see it all the time.

1449
01:18:05,827 --> 01:18:07,139
You see this all the time?

1450
01:18:07,242 --> 01:18:10,798
Our home
is a functional sewer.

1451
01:18:10,901 --> 01:18:12,627
<i>In New York, constantly.</i>

1452
01:18:12,972 --> 01:18:14,767
There's a brownstone joke
there to make.

1453
01:18:14,974 --> 01:18:16,907
<i>Some plumbers do,
but I don't.</i>

1454
01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:20,946
I've given my whole
fucking life
to fighting stench.

1455
01:18:21,049 --> 01:18:23,569
Okay. Thank you
for your service.

1456
01:18:23,845 --> 01:18:25,640
Can you please not touch that?
- Nice counter.

1457
01:18:31,025 --> 01:18:32,509
Oh my God.

1458
01:18:37,756 --> 01:18:40,103
Oh, my--

1459
01:18:42,691 --> 01:18:45,246
<i>Okay.
I'll be right there.
Thank you.</i>

1460
01:18:48,559 --> 01:18:51,045
Whoa! You okay?

1461
01:18:52,253 --> 01:18:54,462
Okay, am I okay?

1462
01:18:54,565 --> 01:18:57,776
Our house oozes of civil war,
racist dumps.

1463
01:18:57,879 --> 01:19:00,157
It smells like
Thomas Jefferson's colon,

1464
01:19:00,261 --> 01:19:02,573
A-- and you want to know
if I'm okay?

1465
01:19:02,677 --> 01:19:04,161
<i>No, I'm not okay. All right?</i>

1466
01:19:04,265 --> 01:19:06,301
<i>I just can't take it anymore.</i>

1467
01:19:06,577 --> 01:19:08,200
What can't you take?
- It!

1468
01:19:09,373 --> 01:19:10,685
What is it?

1469
01:19:10,823 --> 01:19:12,894
I don't know what it is.

1470
01:19:12,998 --> 01:19:16,967
And that's part
of the problem too.
I can't pinpoint what it is.

1471
01:19:17,071 --> 01:19:20,177
I just know
that I can't take it.

1472
01:19:20,626 --> 01:19:26,943
I just feel like I have it all
and nothing at once.

1473
01:19:27,046 --> 01:19:29,600
<i>I couldn't wait
to get back to work,</i>

1474
01:19:29,704 --> 01:19:31,188
but then at work,
I missed the kids

1475
01:19:31,499 --> 01:19:33,121
and I feel like a bad parent
because I'm not with them.

1476
01:19:33,397 --> 01:19:35,365
And when I'm home,
I don't want
to fucking be here.

1477
01:19:35,468 --> 01:19:37,850
I want to be motherfucking
free and...

1478
01:19:39,956 --> 01:19:42,924
And I'm-- I'm sorry.

1479
01:19:43,373 --> 01:19:46,134
I'm sorry for being
in such a bad mood
all the time.

1480
01:19:47,998 --> 01:19:49,689
You're doing so good.

1481
01:19:49,793 --> 01:19:52,969
Just trying to hold it
together for me

1482
01:19:53,072 --> 01:19:56,041
and the kids, and always
in a good mood,

1483
01:19:56,144 --> 01:20:00,942
and always cleaning
and never complaining
about all the shitty diapers.

1484
01:20:01,046 --> 01:20:04,463
So... I just want to say
thank you for that.

1485
01:20:04,566 --> 01:20:06,292
I'm sorry I'm such a bummer.

1486
01:20:08,881 --> 01:20:09,986
It's okay.

1487
01:20:11,884 --> 01:20:13,196
I understand.

1488
01:20:14,645 --> 01:20:15,854
You do?

1489
01:20:16,130 --> 01:20:18,166
You know sometimes
when I'm alone,

1490
01:20:19,271 --> 01:20:23,102
I'll just scream
for three or four seconds.

1491
01:20:23,620 --> 01:20:24,586
And it helps.

1492
01:20:26,243 --> 01:20:29,246
I don't know what it helps,
but it helps.

1493
01:20:30,040 --> 01:20:31,904
It's so weird because...

1494
01:20:33,699 --> 01:20:35,045
I hate work.

1495
01:20:36,253 --> 01:20:39,187
But I can't be home all day.
And then I feel guilty,

1496
01:20:39,291 --> 01:20:41,776
and I'm with the kids
and I love the kids,

1497
01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:43,605
but they're fucking exhausting.

1498
01:20:43,709 --> 01:20:47,126
And then I go back to work
and nobody gives a fuck.

1499
01:20:48,679 --> 01:20:52,683
Best case scenario,
I work my entire life.

1500
01:20:53,270 --> 01:20:57,378
And then I die
while the kids are healthy
and happy.

1501
01:20:59,967 --> 01:21:01,175
That's the pinnacle.

1502
01:21:03,142 --> 01:21:07,215
Death followed by mild relief.

1503
01:21:09,908 --> 01:21:11,357
We are so fucked.

1504
01:21:16,362 --> 01:21:18,917
I am so glad
to be so fucking fucked
with you though.

1505
01:21:28,892 --> 01:21:30,273
Come on.

1506
01:21:33,310 --> 01:21:34,380
<i>Wait.</i>

1507
01:21:34,587 --> 01:21:35,692
<i>Throw this on the floor.</i>

1508
01:21:36,037 --> 01:21:37,004
- Take this off.
<i>- Okay, let's do it.</i>

1509
01:21:37,107 --> 01:21:38,557
<i>Okay, I'm gonna take it off.</i>

1510
01:21:41,940 --> 01:21:44,977
Threw me for a loop,
my packages.

1511
01:21:49,292 --> 01:21:50,189
Okay.

1512
01:21:51,604 --> 01:21:54,159
This is what all that...

1513
01:21:54,504 --> 01:21:56,402
practice is for.

1514
01:21:57,438 --> 01:21:58,542
Okay, guys.

1515
01:22:03,444 --> 01:22:05,653
<i>Don't have to do
total no talking.</i>

1516
01:22:07,344 --> 01:22:10,623
Pretty normal,
successful bitch.

1517
01:22:10,727 --> 01:22:11,728
I love her so much.

1518
01:22:12,453 --> 01:22:13,764
Okay, guys.

1519
01:22:13,902 --> 01:22:15,732
<i>I'm gonna have
to make some cuts.</i>

1520
01:22:15,835 --> 01:22:19,598
<i>Pineapple, milk, gherkins.
You guys are too heavy.</i>

1521
01:22:19,701 --> 01:22:21,358
Little prime, I'll be back.

1522
01:22:21,462 --> 01:22:23,636
Ooh-ee.

1523
01:22:24,327 --> 01:22:25,362
Okay.

1524
01:22:25,638 --> 01:22:29,711
No more. I can't be pregnant anymore.

1525
01:22:29,815 --> 01:22:31,610
How do we finish this, please?

1526
01:22:31,713 --> 01:22:34,509
Well, technically,
at 37 weeks,
you are at full term.

1527
01:22:34,613 --> 01:22:38,927
But the due date is 40,
and New York State
allows 42.

1528
01:22:39,031 --> 01:22:40,999
42 weeks?

1529
01:22:41,102 --> 01:22:44,450
That's almost a year.
That is bullshit.

1530
01:22:44,554 --> 01:22:46,452
Can we do anything
to speed this up?

1531
01:22:46,556 --> 01:22:50,284
C-section, induction
and also a membrane sweep.

1532
01:22:50,387 --> 01:22:52,251
<i>But that's not medically
sound for you.</i>

1533
01:22:52,355 --> 01:22:55,634
Can I eat more fiber?
- A baby is not
a bowel movement,

1534
01:22:55,737 --> 01:23:00,156
so no. There are other things
that people say might help.

1535
01:23:00,259 --> 01:23:01,433
They may not be
medically sound,

1536
01:23:01,536 --> 01:23:02,882
but if you're
really desperate.

1537
01:23:02,986 --> 01:23:04,746
Yeah, I'm-- I'm desperate.

1538
01:23:05,126 --> 01:23:08,716
Stimulating the nipples,
that releases oxytocin,
contracts the uterus.

1539
01:23:08,854 --> 01:23:11,339
So is it me?
Does it have
to be somebody else?

1540
01:23:11,443 --> 01:23:15,309
Well, you can always ask
someone to do it.
Sex, they say, helps.

1541
01:23:15,412 --> 01:23:18,553
I don't know,
maybe it's the gyration,
possibly the orgasms.

1542
01:23:18,657 --> 01:23:21,556
Great. Know anybody who likes
somebody almost about
to give birth?

1543
01:23:21,660 --> 01:23:24,801
Castor oil, they say
might help, one or two
tablespoons daily.

1544
01:23:24,904 --> 01:23:27,769
In my pussy?
- No, no, you drink it.

1545
01:23:27,942 --> 01:23:29,254
Oh, got you.

1546
01:23:29,564 --> 01:23:33,258
Uh, dates, pineapple,
red raspberry leaf tea.

1547
01:23:33,361 --> 01:23:36,709
Also oral, or is that..?
<i>- All of it is oral.</i>

1548
01:23:36,813 --> 01:23:39,195
<i>I just want to do whatever
is going to get the baby out.</i>

1549
01:23:39,298 --> 01:23:42,681
Well, a red raspberry tea
douche will not do it.

1550
01:23:42,853 --> 01:23:48,307
Gotcha. All oral,
lest we forget.

1551
01:23:49,826 --> 01:23:52,518
Hi, honey. I got great news.

1552
01:23:52,622 --> 01:23:55,107
<i>The other good looking
dentist they got for the gig.</i>

1553
01:23:55,211 --> 01:23:57,454
He's indeed a serial killer.

1554
01:23:57,558 --> 01:24:00,354
- Oh.
- But this is good news
for you. They called.

1555
01:24:00,457 --> 01:24:03,805
They want you.
- Oh, my God, they want me.

1556
01:24:03,909 --> 01:24:05,911
<i>But you're going to have
to fly out tomorrow</i>

1557
01:24:06,014 --> 01:24:08,051
to San Francisco
to do the filming.

1558
01:24:11,537 --> 01:24:12,366
Ahh.

1559
01:24:30,556 --> 01:24:33,766
Oh, hey.
- Hi. You picked up.

1560
01:24:33,870 --> 01:24:35,216
Yeah. Sorry.

1561
01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:38,081
I've been, pretty busy.

1562
01:24:38,185 --> 01:24:40,118
Okay. Sure.
Yeah, I get it.

1563
01:24:40,221 --> 01:24:44,708
Are you on an airplane?
- I am, I got
the Invisalign campaign.

1564
01:24:44,812 --> 01:24:46,124
<i>They're sending me out
to shoot it.</i>

1565
01:24:46,227 --> 01:24:49,989
Oh my God, yes.
That's great.

1566
01:24:50,162 --> 01:24:54,546
Does that help for the money
with the uh...
with the shit pipe repairs?

1567
01:24:54,649 --> 01:24:56,099
<i>I wish.</i>

1568
01:24:56,203 --> 01:24:58,550
Our place is damn near condemnable.

1569
01:24:58,653 --> 01:25:02,001
We're basically holding back
our next flood
with a piece of duct tape.

1570
01:25:02,105 --> 01:25:04,176
We're just gonna have
to move all together,
you know?

1571
01:25:04,280 --> 01:25:06,316
We're looking for a place,
maybe in the suburbs.

1572
01:25:07,145 --> 01:25:09,837
That's amazing.

1573
01:25:10,286 --> 01:25:15,118
Okay, you can't even
not wince at me just saying,

1574
01:25:15,222 --> 01:25:17,051
"Looking at a place
in the suburbs."

1575
01:25:17,534 --> 01:25:22,919
It's partly that, but also,
my stomach's been cramping
like crazy for hours.

1576
01:25:23,022 --> 01:25:25,715
Are you having contractions?
- I don't think so.

1577
01:25:25,818 --> 01:25:28,925
I called Doctor Morris
a couple times yesterday,
and they weren't.

1578
01:25:29,028 --> 01:25:34,102
And these are weaker
than yesterday, so we'll see.
I'm ready.

1579
01:25:34,206 --> 01:25:36,829
Mh-hm. I totally get it.
With Tommy, I just drank

1580
01:25:36,933 --> 01:25:39,315
a bunch of castor oil
to, like, push it along.

1581
01:25:39,487 --> 01:25:41,558
Dude, I chugged it.

1582
01:25:41,662 --> 01:25:44,147
But I think I want some
chocolate almond milk
right now.

1583
01:25:44,251 --> 01:25:45,528
I'll BRB.

1584
01:25:45,700 --> 01:25:47,392
Apologies, you might
get flashed.

1585
01:25:49,048 --> 01:25:50,740
Oh, okay.

1586
01:25:51,361 --> 01:25:52,673
Eden.
<i>- What?</i>

1587
01:25:52,776 --> 01:25:54,019
Bend over.

1588
01:25:54,157 --> 01:25:56,021
Perv.
- Just do it, bend over.

1589
01:25:56,124 --> 01:26:01,199
Yo, your pussy
is very fucking open.
How long you been hurting?

1590
01:26:01,302 --> 01:26:04,063
Hours, but I'm really
feeling it now

1591
01:26:04,167 --> 01:26:06,031
that I'm letting myself
feel it.

1592
01:26:06,204 --> 01:26:08,585
You need to go now.
Call the hospital.

1593
01:26:08,689 --> 01:26:10,277
Oh my God. What?

1594
01:26:10,829 --> 01:26:12,244
Phones off.
The cabin is closed.

1595
01:26:12,693 --> 01:26:14,902
<i>Ma'am, I'm going to need you
to turn your phone off.</i>

1596
01:26:15,005 --> 01:26:16,628
<i>Ma'am.</i>
- I'm so sorry, okay?

1597
01:26:16,800 --> 01:26:19,320
This is so rude,
but I'm literally.
being yelled at.

1598
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:21,529
Go to the hospital now.
Goodbye, I love you.

1599
01:26:23,082 --> 01:26:26,362
Oh, God. Dragana!

1600
01:26:34,646 --> 01:26:36,026
Where's the Lyft?

1601
01:26:36,130 --> 01:26:38,305
Almost here. Was surge.

1602
01:26:38,408 --> 01:26:40,962
Why kept canceling.

1603
01:26:41,169 --> 01:26:43,275
If shit hits fan,
I have many times

1604
01:26:43,379 --> 01:26:46,036
to reach in
and pull out the baby.

1605
01:26:46,485 --> 01:26:48,418
Let's hope it doesn't come
to that.

1606
01:26:48,763 --> 01:26:51,663
I don't enjoy it, but I do it.

1607
01:26:55,977 --> 01:26:57,324
You go ahead.

1608
01:27:06,091 --> 01:27:08,266
Let's go my little MILF to be.

1609
01:27:18,931 --> 01:27:23,833
No, wait, actually, I--
I forgot you suck.
I'm taking a Lyft.

1610
01:27:24,212 --> 01:27:26,422
Come on, Eden,
I'm not missing this.

1611
01:27:29,390 --> 01:27:31,392
Admit you were
a legit asshole

1612
01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:33,152
about me
and Claude's connection.

1613
01:27:33,291 --> 01:27:36,915
I was a legit asshole
about you and Claude's
connection.

1614
01:27:39,538 --> 01:27:41,678
Admit you and me are family.

1615
01:27:45,026 --> 01:27:45,958
We're family.

1616
01:27:51,481 --> 01:27:53,621
I am so sorry.

1617
01:27:57,038 --> 01:27:57,970
Okay.

1618
01:27:59,489 --> 01:28:00,870
I'm sorry too.

1619
01:28:02,699 --> 01:28:08,464
I took advantage of how much
you can hold,
and I piled it on.

1620
01:28:10,362 --> 01:28:11,812
I know I'm a lot.

1621
01:28:41,773 --> 01:28:44,051
Dragana, we're riding
with this bitch.

1622
01:28:47,813 --> 01:28:50,644
<i>Just keep breathing.
Keep breathing.</i>

1623
01:29:04,727 --> 01:29:06,142
<i>Here we go.</i>

1624
01:29:06,245 --> 01:29:07,557
Here we go!

1625
01:29:12,493 --> 01:29:13,805
<i>Yep, yep.</i>

1626
01:29:22,434 --> 01:29:23,504
My streamers.

1627
01:29:27,025 --> 01:29:29,510
Oh, sorry.
Forgot you, baby girl.

1628
01:29:29,924 --> 01:29:32,064
Let's go have a baby.

1629
01:29:32,720 --> 01:29:34,584
Breathe.

1630
01:29:34,791 --> 01:29:37,932
Five, four, three, two, one!

1631
01:29:39,727 --> 01:29:41,349
This position isn't helping.
Let's turn her over.

1632
01:29:41,626 --> 01:29:42,799
Hands and feet,
hands and feet.

1633
01:29:43,075 --> 01:29:44,629
<i>Okay,
what's happening?</i>

1634
01:29:45,319 --> 01:29:47,114
Why am I in doggy style?
I don't wanna doggy style
with my baby.

1635
01:29:47,217 --> 01:29:50,186
This is a common birth position.
Can you move down?

1636
01:29:50,289 --> 01:29:51,946
No, I'm up here!

1637
01:29:53,431 --> 01:29:55,122
Okay, I'll come to you.
<i>- Okay.</i>

1638
01:29:55,225 --> 01:29:57,262
We'll do it right here.
Here comes another one.

1639
01:29:57,607 --> 01:30:00,472
Here comes another one.
Good, good, good, good,
good, good, good.

1640
01:30:00,576 --> 01:30:02,681
Push, push, push, push.
Push, push, push!

1641
01:30:02,785 --> 01:30:05,028
I'm doggy style with my baby,
I feel weird about it.

1642
01:30:05,132 --> 01:30:06,651
<i>Push this last one. Push.</i>

1643
01:30:06,754 --> 01:30:07,997
I see the head, push!

1644
01:30:08,100 --> 01:30:10,344
Okay, I think.
I have to shit.

1645
01:30:10,448 --> 01:30:11,863
I don't want to shit
on my baby like Dawn.

1646
01:30:11,966 --> 01:30:14,555
Dude it was disgusting
what you did.
- Okay.

1647
01:30:14,728 --> 01:30:16,246
Keep pushing.
<i>Last push.</i>

1648
01:30:16,350 --> 01:30:18,145
Good, good, good.

1649
01:30:18,317 --> 01:30:20,250
<i>There we are,
there we are, there we are!</i>

1650
01:30:22,736 --> 01:30:24,910
Perfect, perfect.

1651
01:30:25,117 --> 01:30:27,430
You did it!

1652
01:30:27,534 --> 01:30:29,121
You did it.

1653
01:30:29,812 --> 01:30:30,778
I did it.

1654
01:30:31,089 --> 01:30:32,711
Okay, we're gonna
cut the cord now.

1655
01:30:32,815 --> 01:30:34,886
No, no, no, I want
Dawn to cut the cord.

1656
01:30:35,196 --> 01:30:38,510
<i>- Okay.</i>
- I would be--
I would be honored.

1657
01:30:38,614 --> 01:30:39,649
Obviously.

1658
01:30:41,720 --> 01:30:43,998
There you are. Right there.

1659
01:30:48,416 --> 01:30:49,556
Okay.

1660
01:30:52,973 --> 01:30:54,630
Oh my God.

1661
01:30:54,906 --> 01:30:58,461
Oh my God. My baby had a baby.

1662
01:30:58,565 --> 01:31:01,119
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.

1663
01:31:03,397 --> 01:31:08,402
Thank you for being here.
- Where the fuck else
would I be?

1664
01:31:08,747 --> 01:31:11,060
<i>Okay,
just a few more pushes.</i>

1665
01:31:11,336 --> 01:31:12,889
Is there another one
in there?

1666
01:31:13,062 --> 01:31:14,166
It's the placenta.

1667
01:31:15,513 --> 01:31:16,928
They don't tell you
about this part.

1668
01:31:17,031 --> 01:31:18,585
<i>I'll take placenta.</i>

1669
01:31:19,240 --> 01:31:20,621
It makes smoothies.

1670
01:31:20,725 --> 01:31:23,417
Okay. That's a choice.
Here we go.

1671
01:31:23,693 --> 01:31:25,730
This is just ridiculous.

1672
01:31:27,525 --> 01:31:28,733
Great.

1673
01:31:29,527 --> 01:31:31,183
Oh, God. That's wild.

1674
01:31:31,287 --> 01:31:33,841
Smells good, doesn't it?
- Oh, God.

1675
01:31:34,773 --> 01:31:36,637
Shut up!

1676
01:31:37,431 --> 01:31:38,881
Okay.

1677
01:31:40,814 --> 01:31:42,643
Yeah, man. Give me my boy.

1678
01:31:42,816 --> 01:31:45,957
I didn't want to rain
on your maternal instincts.

1679
01:31:46,060 --> 01:31:49,995
But, it's a girl.
It's always been a girl.

1680
01:31:51,652 --> 01:31:53,999
I had two pussies?
<i>- Mh-hm.</i>

1681
01:31:57,969 --> 01:31:59,004
Holy shit.

1682
01:31:59,108 --> 01:32:02,767
This is crazy.
This is fucking crazy.

1683
01:32:04,907 --> 01:32:07,288
How are we not talking
about this all the time?

1684
01:32:07,392 --> 01:32:12,293
We grow bodies inside
of our bodies.
What the fuck?

1685
01:32:12,708 --> 01:32:16,435
This person just came out
of my vagina.

1686
01:32:16,712 --> 01:32:18,645
This is all the hot news

1687
01:32:18,748 --> 01:32:21,164
anchors should be covering
twenty-four seven.

1688
01:32:21,337 --> 01:32:23,753
People coming out of pussies.

1689
01:32:23,891 --> 01:32:28,033
Every day for thousands
and thousands of years.

1690
01:32:28,620 --> 01:32:30,311
What the fuck?

1691
01:32:33,867 --> 01:32:35,420
You're so beautiful.

1692
01:32:35,593 --> 01:32:37,353
You're so beautiful.

1693
01:32:37,629 --> 01:32:40,287
What? What?

1694
01:33:05,174 --> 01:33:08,556
Congrats!
Congrats!

1695
01:33:08,660 --> 01:33:09,903
You're ready to go home.

1696
01:33:10,006 --> 01:33:11,939
No, no, I'm not ready.
<i>- Yes, you are.</i>

1697
01:33:12,043 --> 01:33:14,148
You can do it.
And we need the bed.

1698
01:33:14,252 --> 01:33:16,288
<i>But before you go,
a few parting gifts,</i>

1699
01:33:16,392 --> 01:33:19,257
some extra diapers
for her and some for you.

1700
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:22,225
Oh, good. I dropped a deuce
a little while ago,
so thank you.

1701
01:33:22,398 --> 01:33:24,503
You're not supposed to poop
in your diaper.

1702
01:33:24,607 --> 01:33:26,264
It's for blood. Get that off.

1703
01:33:26,367 --> 01:33:29,439
See? I'm not ready.
I'm shitting myself wrongly.

1704
01:33:29,543 --> 01:33:31,269
Shh.

1705
01:33:31,545 --> 01:33:33,409
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

1706
01:33:35,894 --> 01:33:38,034
Thank you guys
so much.

1707
01:33:38,138 --> 01:33:39,622
Really, really...

1708
01:33:45,559 --> 01:33:47,423
Mm-mm-mm.

1709
01:33:54,257 --> 01:33:55,569
Hey.

1710
01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:58,468
Yes. Please yes.
Please yes. Please. Yes.

1711
01:33:58,572 --> 01:34:00,919
Oh, yes.
Thank you so much.

1712
01:34:01,092 --> 01:34:04,612
Thank you so much.
Okay. Okay.

1713
01:34:05,648 --> 01:34:07,305
Thank you so much.

1714
01:34:10,170 --> 01:34:11,102
Okay.

1715
01:34:12,759 --> 01:34:14,415
Oh, God.

1716
01:34:26,738 --> 01:34:28,395
Okay, just one second.

1717
01:34:29,741 --> 01:34:31,018
Astoria, please.

1718
01:34:36,230 --> 01:34:37,369
I'll fucking kill you!
- I'll fucking kill you!

1719
01:34:37,473 --> 01:34:38,992
I'll fucking kill you both!

1720
01:34:40,890 --> 01:34:44,480
Okay. It's okay. Oh, fuck.

1721
01:34:47,759 --> 01:34:49,796
Welcome home, Claudette.

1722
01:34:53,454 --> 01:34:54,801
All right.

1723
01:34:54,904 --> 01:34:58,252
Welcome home, Claudette.

1724
01:34:59,771 --> 01:35:01,946
Okay. Wow.

1725
01:35:02,912 --> 01:35:05,018
This is where we live.

1726
01:35:07,503 --> 01:35:11,714
You're gonna have sleep overs
in here. Because we're
gonna share the bedroom.

1727
01:35:11,990 --> 01:35:13,992
This is where
you're gonna sleep.

1728
01:35:14,096 --> 01:35:17,824
All right, we got this.
We got this, baby.
We got this.

1729
01:35:19,515 --> 01:35:21,172
Oh, yeah.

1730
01:35:21,448 --> 01:35:23,553
<i>I love you, Claudette.</i>

1731
01:35:29,111 --> 01:35:32,700
<i>Ready buddy?
Hey Little sleepy girl.</i>

1732
01:35:32,804 --> 01:35:34,116
It's gonna be great.

1733
01:35:36,152 --> 01:35:37,498
Hi!
Hey.

1734
01:35:37,602 --> 01:35:39,017
Oh my God.

1735
01:35:39,121 --> 01:35:41,192
Thank you guys for coming
to us.

1736
01:35:41,364 --> 01:35:43,919
Of course, whoever has
the youngest
we do the commuting for,

1737
01:35:44,022 --> 01:35:45,817
it's only fair.
- Oh, I love that rule.

1738
01:35:45,955 --> 01:35:48,061
Well, that's why I
got the tickets, so.
Let's go.

1739
01:35:48,164 --> 01:35:49,407
Oh, nice.
Let's do this.

1740
01:35:49,717 --> 01:35:50,822
Yeah, I can't wait.
You got it?

1741
01:35:50,995 --> 01:35:52,548
Yep, I got you.
You ready?

1742
01:35:52,720 --> 01:35:53,998
Yeah.
- All right.

1743
01:35:57,795 --> 01:35:59,279
<i>Fuck you, motherfucker</i>

1744
01:35:59,486 --> 01:36:00,970
<i>Eat shit
and die, motherfucker!</i>

1745
01:36:03,145 --> 01:36:04,767
You see any of that shit?

1746
01:36:04,974 --> 01:36:06,976
- No.
- So you're not going
to fucking talk?

1747
01:36:07,080 --> 01:36:08,081
No.

1748
01:36:08,736 --> 01:36:11,429
<i>Fuckin' cater waiter.</i>

1749
01:36:11,532 --> 01:36:16,572
<i>Jesus Christ!
Just get in the fucking car!
Jesus.</i>

1750
01:36:16,917 --> 01:36:18,574
Claudette, that's your daddy.

1751
01:36:21,197 --> 01:36:23,648
There he is,
that's your daddy.

1752
01:36:23,786 --> 01:36:25,098
<i>Eat led,
cocksucker!</i>

1753
01:36:27,307 --> 01:36:31,276
Sorry, that movie
was completely inappropriate
for children.

1754
01:36:31,380 --> 01:36:33,623
- I just-- I just wanted
to see him.
- It's fine.

1755
01:36:33,727 --> 01:36:35,039
It was fun. It was good.

1756
01:36:37,489 --> 01:36:41,286
<i>Can we still
see movies with Eden
at the new house?</i>

1757
01:36:41,390 --> 01:36:43,254
<i>Yeah, of course
you can, Tommy.</i>

1758
01:36:44,048 --> 01:36:45,601
You guys found a house?

1759
01:36:45,877 --> 01:36:48,017
Yeah. I mean, it just happened
this morning.

1760
01:36:48,121 --> 01:36:51,538
Our offer was accepted,
so it's happening real fast.

1761
01:36:51,641 --> 01:36:53,781
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

1762
01:36:53,954 --> 01:36:58,165
So, which 'burb
have you dorks selected?

1763
01:37:01,168 --> 01:37:02,652
You didn't tell her?

1764
01:37:02,963 --> 01:37:06,933
No, I didn't tell her.
I've just...

1765
01:37:07,312 --> 01:37:10,902
Been busy. Like, I mean,
all the work it takes

1766
01:37:11,006 --> 01:37:13,146
to find a new house
and the right 'burb.

1767
01:37:13,249 --> 01:37:15,044
<i>You got this vision
of your dream home.</i>

1768
01:37:15,148 --> 01:37:17,115
<i>But then it literally
turned to shit.</i>

1769
01:37:17,288 --> 01:37:19,117
<i>And then there's the amount
of people that you have</i>

1770
01:37:19,221 --> 01:37:22,086
to make appointments
with to even see a house.

1771
01:37:22,189 --> 01:37:24,398
You're bringing the kids
to all these houses,

1772
01:37:24,502 --> 01:37:26,918
<i>and oof,
then there's a gut check.</i>

1773
01:37:27,056 --> 01:37:29,093
<i>Does it even feel
like a home?</i>

1774
01:37:29,438 --> 01:37:33,442
And after all that, oh my God,
don't even get me started
on the paperwork.

1775
01:37:33,545 --> 01:37:36,997
It's insane the amount
of paperwork you have
to try and buy a house.

1776
01:37:37,101 --> 01:37:39,413
<i>So, you want
to know what 'burb?</i>

1777
01:37:41,657 --> 01:37:43,210
This is it.

1778
01:37:46,110 --> 01:37:51,184
You can't say that
if it's not true.

1779
01:37:53,669 --> 01:37:57,638
Look, I know that
I cannot live with you.

1780
01:37:59,019 --> 01:38:01,470
<i>But I also know that
we have to be close by,</i>

1781
01:38:02,954 --> 01:38:05,439
Because I want our kids
to grow up together.

1782
01:38:06,509 --> 01:38:07,407
Like how we did.

1783
01:38:10,686 --> 01:38:12,757
Is three blocks okay?

1784
01:38:12,860 --> 01:38:14,552
I mean, does that work
for you?

1785
01:38:14,932 --> 01:38:18,004
I think
I can make it work.

1786
01:38:20,178 --> 01:38:22,111
<i>I love you.</i>
- I love you too.

1787
01:38:26,184 --> 01:38:28,669
So I'm going to be over there.

1788
01:38:28,773 --> 01:38:31,983
And when I need something,
I barely have to call.

1789
01:38:32,087 --> 01:38:33,881
I'm just popping by.

1790
01:38:34,365 --> 01:38:37,230
You should let me know before
you come so we can make sure
Marty's wearing pants.

1791
01:38:37,333 --> 01:38:39,163
When I need something lifted.

1792
01:38:39,266 --> 01:38:41,406
I'm texting Marty,
I can go, I can skip you.

1793
01:38:41,510 --> 01:38:44,202
I might see you
on a Monday afternoon.

1794
01:38:44,306 --> 01:38:46,894
I might see you
late Monday night,
that same Monday.

1795
01:38:46,998 --> 01:38:48,724
And I would love that.

1796
01:38:48,896 --> 01:38:52,831
So I guess it's just, uhm,
a casual see you later?

1797
01:38:53,971 --> 01:38:55,075
Yeah.

1798
01:38:56,076 --> 01:38:57,940
That's it.
- That's it.

1799
01:38:58,044 --> 01:39:01,461
- You love me.
- I love you, and I'm--
I'm gonna see you later.