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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[quirky music plays]
4
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:31,341
[traffic hums]
5
00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:35,242
[children chattering]
6
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:37,244
[train squeaks]
7
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:45,804
[claps]
8
00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:48,738
[screams gleefully]
9
00:00:50,119 --> 00:00:52,052
Look at you. Look at you.
10
00:00:53,674 --> 00:00:55,193
Gorgeous. [chuckles]
11
00:00:59,197 --> 00:01:02,407
115 minutes, four trains.
12
00:01:02,579 --> 00:01:04,650
You're so lucky
I fucking love you.
13
00:01:04,754 --> 00:01:08,758
I am. But also, walking
five blocks this pregnant?
14
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,726
It's equal.
- Touche, bitch!
15
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:13,245
Woo! We're doing it.
16
00:01:13,349 --> 00:01:15,005
[music fades]
17
00:01:15,454 --> 00:01:18,492
Hi. Do you have any tickets
available for the 9 a.m.?
18
00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:22,392
Yeah, yeah, they all are.
It's Thanksgiving at 9 a.m...
19
00:01:22,841 --> 00:01:26,155
Okay, well, [chuckles]
we'll take two then,
20
00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:29,606
but you can keep the attitude
in the booth.
21
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,332
It's a ritual, man.
22
00:01:31,712 --> 00:01:34,646
We've seen a movie
every Thanksgiving
for 27 years.
23
00:01:34,749 --> 00:01:38,063
Traditions of this caliber
don't come by--
24
00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:40,721
Okay, Eden? Can we just
get the tickets
so we can sit down?
25
00:01:40,824 --> 00:01:42,032
My back hurts.
26
00:01:42,171 --> 00:01:43,482
You fucked up her back.
27
00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:46,761
You did not fuck up my back,
baby did that.
28
00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:50,834
[Eden] So I had a crazy night
last night.
29
00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:52,181
I'm drinking a hot toddy.
30
00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:54,010
I clocked this other bitch
drinking a hot toddy.
31
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,357
Oh, ew, wait a minute.
My seat is wet.
32
00:01:56,461 --> 00:01:58,877
Ew. Yuck!
- What? Yuck.
33
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,568
So gross.
34
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,571
So I see
she's drinking a hot toddy.
You know, like your classic.
35
00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:06,816
So we strike up a conversation
or whatever.
36
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,266
It turns--
- Ew!
37
00:02:08,576 --> 00:02:11,096
This seat is wet, too.
- No.
38
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,754
- Yes.
- Gross.
- Yuck.
39
00:02:13,857 --> 00:02:17,171
[laughs] Ew. Okay.
40
00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:21,555
Turns out
she's a retired nurse.
41
00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:25,110
And I was like,
"What's the most gruesome
death you've ever seen?"
42
00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:26,491
Oh that's a good follow up.
43
00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,976
- And she's like--
- Fuck, no.
44
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:30,633
- What?
- This seat is wet too.
45
00:02:30,736 --> 00:02:32,945
Why does this theater
have so many wet ass seats.
46
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:34,430
Okay. Is it you, maybe?
47
00:02:34,533 --> 00:02:37,295
Are you possibly
the wet factor?
48
00:02:37,398 --> 00:02:39,055
None of my seats
have been wet.
49
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,853
I mean, maybe it could be me,
but I'm not due
for another two weeks.
50
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,613
Can you check?
- Sure.
51
00:02:45,717 --> 00:02:46,683
[groans]
52
00:02:47,753 --> 00:02:48,858
[popcorn crunches]
53
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,241
Let's see.
54
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,966
All right. Nothing...
55
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:55,105
- Cool.
- Nothing...
56
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,245
[gasps] A drop.
57
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,039
Another drop.
58
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,972
Okay. All right.
59
00:03:00,076 --> 00:03:04,253
Are you pissing, perchance?
- I don't think I'm pissing.
60
00:03:04,356 --> 00:03:07,048
You know, in the movies,
it's like this 'whoosh'!
61
00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:09,189
But this is just
a light pussy drizzle.
62
00:03:09,292 --> 00:03:11,018
Pussy drizzle, okay.
You know what?
63
00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:12,571
I'm gonna call Doctor Morris.
64
00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:13,745
[popcorn crunches]
65
00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:17,956
Two. Emergency.
66
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:20,890
Morris. Okay,
it's ringing now.
67
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:23,237
Doctor Morris, it's dawn.
68
00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:24,687
Okay.
Trickling is accelerating.
69
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:27,207
It's like, one and a drop
and a one and a drop...
70
00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:29,209
I just need to know
if my water broke
or if it's just droplets.
71
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:31,349
It's a...
- One and a drop.
- It's a one and a drop.
72
00:03:31,452 --> 00:03:33,523
There's more of a swing to it:
And a one and a drop...
73
00:03:33,627 --> 00:03:36,146
It's a one and a drop
and a one and a drop.
74
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,425
With more of a swing to it.
- Okay it's getting faster.
It's triplets now.
75
00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:39,667
Okay. Thank you I got it.
76
00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:41,704
And d-d-drop,
drop-drop-drop-drop.
77
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:44,016
Thank you, Bobby McFerrin.
Yeah.
78
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,468
Okay. Thanks.
79
00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:52,542
So I'm definitely in labor.
80
00:03:53,198 --> 00:03:54,406
[laughs]
81
00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,202
Oh my God.
82
00:03:57,616 --> 00:03:59,273
What should we do? Should I--
Should I hug you?
83
00:03:59,377 --> 00:04:00,619
- No, please don't touch me.
- Okay.
84
00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,069
He said I've got to go
to the hospital.
85
00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:03,657
But when I went in
with Tommy,
86
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,935
It... [sighs]
It was 25 hours
until he was born.
87
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,627
25 hours of labor,
and I couldn't eat any food.
88
00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:12,804
They just gave me ice chips.
- Okay, what if we
bag the movie?
89
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:16,842
It still counts,
our streak lives,
for a last supper of sorts.
90
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:18,292
I love that.
91
00:04:18,741 --> 00:04:20,156
Oh, yes.
92
00:04:20,329 --> 00:04:21,882
Okay. That's it.
- [fancy music plays]
93
00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:23,746
I would say let me know
if you need anything else,
94
00:04:23,849 --> 00:04:25,644
but this is literally
all the foods we have.
95
00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:28,233
So... [chuckles]
- Don't go far, though.
We might need seconds.
96
00:04:28,337 --> 00:04:30,235
Okay, no problem.
And-- Oh, I'm sorry.
97
00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:31,547
It looks like you had
a little spill there.
98
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:33,238
Oh, no no no.
That's just some drippage.
99
00:04:33,411 --> 00:04:34,826
I'm in labor. [laughs]
100
00:04:35,447 --> 00:04:36,828
Congratulations to me.
101
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,589
In the movies,
it's like this monsoon whoosh.
102
00:04:39,693 --> 00:04:41,522
[Dawn] Mh-hm.
- But in real life,
it can be trickles.
103
00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:43,869
The water will keep coming.
Don't worry
about cleaning it up.
104
00:04:43,973 --> 00:04:47,321
Uh, okay. No, I definitely
will need to tell my boss that
just 'cause...
105
00:04:47,425 --> 00:04:49,737
it's fluids
and there's people eating.
Who knows what's in the fluid.
106
00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:50,911
[Eden] I don't think this
is gonna end well.
107
00:04:51,118 --> 00:04:52,119
What are you?
The Gordon Ramsay
of my pussy?
108
00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:53,085
Get out of here.
109
00:04:53,189 --> 00:04:54,363
Why do you hate women?
110
00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:55,847
I-- no--
- I need more chocolate mousse.
111
00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:58,470
I will get that, I just--
- Thank you, bye.
112
00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:01,646
I wonder what
off-Broadway play he's in.
113
00:05:01,749 --> 00:05:03,786
It's like he's never seen
a pregnant person before.
114
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,616
Honestly, you're digging
the vibe up here?
115
00:05:06,789 --> 00:05:09,343
Don't you miss
that Dominican diner?
Compared to this place?
116
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:11,897
Feels a little Stepford.
117
00:05:12,035 --> 00:05:13,209
[groans]
118
00:05:13,554 --> 00:05:15,315
I don't know, man.
Astoria misses you.
119
00:05:15,522 --> 00:05:18,456
It's calling you.
It's like Don, Don.
Where's Don?
120
00:05:19,491 --> 00:05:20,699
[coughs, groans]
121
00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:22,839
Are you good, dude?
122
00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:25,670
I need you to check my shit.
123
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,913
Oh, my God, you're in labor.
[laughs] I forgot.
124
00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,227
Okay. Move the panties, please.
125
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,470
Yeah get in there.
126
00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:34,644
I don't know the medical term
for this, but...
127
00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:37,682
- Yeah?
- Your pussy is opened way
the fuck up.
128
00:05:37,785 --> 00:05:39,546
How many centimeters
would way the fuck up be?
129
00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:41,617
Your vagina looks like
it's yawning. Like.
130
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:46,000
[gasps] Oh my God,
call an Uber.
131
00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:47,277
I thought I had more time.
132
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,658
Fuck, I'm still hungry.
133
00:05:51,661 --> 00:05:52,973
Okay, take your time.
134
00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:54,008
It just comes in waves.
135
00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:56,459
[groans]
136
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:01,499
[yells]
137
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,262
Aren't women amazing?
Birth, miracle.
138
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,919
Enjoy your risotto.
139
00:06:08,091 --> 00:06:09,507
[panting]
140
00:06:09,783 --> 00:06:12,026
Eden, was that loud?
- Mm-mm.
- Are you sure?
141
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,994
- Miraculous.
- I feel like everyone's
looking at me.
142
00:06:14,097 --> 00:06:18,516
- No, no no no,
everyone's in awe.
- [groans]
143
00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:22,451
Thank you.
144
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,660
- Yeah.
- Eden, tip him well.
145
00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:26,696
- Will do.
- Do you want some water?
146
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,249
Yes. I need a sip of water.
147
00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:29,837
[Eden] This is amazing.
The elegance.
148
00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:32,840
[guzzles]
149
00:06:33,013 --> 00:06:36,257
[spits]
I don't need the water.
150
00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:39,571
[jug clanks] Help me! Help me!
151
00:06:39,985 --> 00:06:42,436
Where's the door?
Get the door, open the door!
152
00:06:42,574 --> 00:06:43,748
[music continues]
153
00:06:43,851 --> 00:06:45,128
[screams]
154
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,510
Eden: And that's New York,
baby!
155
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:50,582
[Liza Minelli - But the World
Goes 'Round plays]
156
00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:57,693
Yes! Got it! Got it!
157
00:06:57,796 --> 00:07:00,040
All right. There you go.
- [shouts, exhales]
158
00:07:00,143 --> 00:07:02,594
Thank you so much. Thank you.
- This is good, this is good.
159
00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:04,527
This is good.
We're almost there.
Almost there.
160
00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:06,115
[breathes loudly]
- Almost there.
161
00:07:06,771 --> 00:07:08,738
Oh, you're so good.
You are doing it.
You're almost there.
162
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:11,845
Fuck no, this is not good!
Get me up, get me up.
163
00:07:11,983 --> 00:07:14,503
And now we're standing up.
Standing up.
- [groans]
164
00:07:14,606 --> 00:07:16,505
Good, good, good. Okay.
- [panting]
165
00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:18,265
You're doing so good, honey.
166
00:07:18,748 --> 00:07:21,095
Standing up is no good,
standing up--
Oh, no. It hurts when I stand!
167
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:22,442
Let me get on the floor.
168
00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:24,202
- You don't want to do that.
- Yes she does!
- Shut up!
169
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,893
- [whines]
- Okay, just do your thing.
170
00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:27,826
You're doing so good,
what you're doing.
171
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:29,483
It's so gross.
172
00:07:29,587 --> 00:07:30,898
[Eden] Okay.
173
00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:32,866
Eyes on your own paper.
Scram!
174
00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:34,039
[yells]
175
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:35,213
Okay. We're taking it for you.
176
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:36,766
It is so hot, it is so hot!
177
00:07:38,561 --> 00:07:40,218
Alright, okay.
- [cries]
178
00:07:40,321 --> 00:07:41,564
Here we go.
179
00:07:41,909 --> 00:07:44,118
I don't want to give birth
in the lobby. [yells]
180
00:07:45,603 --> 00:07:47,570
I don't want this
to be my journey.
181
00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:49,607
You never seen
a bad bitch crawl?
182
00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:50,884
[music continues]
183
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:53,024
And...
Just gonna get the elevator.
184
00:07:53,127 --> 00:07:55,682
Ignore me.
Sorry to be in your way.
185
00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:57,718
[pants]
- Here we go.
186
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:00,825
[groaning]
187
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,864
[music drowns out dialogue]
188
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,937
[groaning, yelling]
189
00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:12,181
[elevator dings]
190
00:08:14,148 --> 00:08:14,977
Okay.
191
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:18,014
Woo! Here we go!
192
00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:20,051
I need to go
to the fourth floor.
193
00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:22,640
Fourth floor, please.
Thank you so much.
194
00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:24,952
[yelling continues]
195
00:08:26,851 --> 00:08:29,163
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
196
00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:30,130
[elevator dings]
197
00:08:31,856 --> 00:08:33,547
[music continues]
198
00:08:35,066 --> 00:08:36,585
[yelling]
199
00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:39,484
She's gonna have
your freckles. Oh my--
200
00:08:39,588 --> 00:08:42,004
I am so proud of you.
- Don't touch me.
201
00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:43,177
Okay.
202
00:08:43,281 --> 00:08:44,869
Hold my hand. [cries]
203
00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:47,250
- You got it.
- Great Dawn,
you're doing great.
204
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:48,976
- You got this.
- I'm dynamic.
205
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,771
You're dynamic.
Tell her she's dynamic.
206
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:52,980
- [groans]
- Oh, you are so strong.
207
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:56,225
Do you smell that?
There's a terrible smell
happening.
208
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:57,709
That's a good smell.
209
00:08:57,985 --> 00:09:00,401
We can't possibly
be smelling the same thing.
210
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,577
Oh my God.
Oh my God, I feel like
I have to shit.
211
00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:04,992
Great. Follow it.
212
00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:06,856
Just keep going.
We're almost crowning.
213
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,720
This is what it's all about.
214
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:11,516
Crowning's one
of the most beautiful things
you will ever see.
215
00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:13,863
Push! Come on, push! [yells]
216
00:09:14,692 --> 00:09:16,625
And we're crowning.
217
00:09:16,866 --> 00:09:19,524
That's my daughter's forehead.
218
00:09:19,938 --> 00:09:22,251
Oh my God, is it that bad?
Why does she look like that?
219
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,977
Did I just shit on my baby?
220
00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:27,152
No. It's more like you babied
on your shit.
221
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:28,637
[yells]
222
00:09:29,327 --> 00:09:30,570
Be right back.
223
00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:33,814
[retches]
224
00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:37,438
[music stops]
225
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:41,201
I am shocked by how disgusted
you were.
226
00:09:41,304 --> 00:09:45,515
I mean, we literally
send pictures of our poopies
to each other to name.
227
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,621
I was shocked as well.
228
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:51,211
But I missed Tommy's birth
so I was not going to miss
this one.
229
00:09:51,314 --> 00:09:54,110
But if you guys have a third,
I might have to skip.
230
00:09:54,248 --> 00:09:58,459
I think it's far more
disturbing you guys text
each other every dump.
231
00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:01,083
We do not text ever-y dump, okay?
232
00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:04,742
But Dawn is integral
to all my dumps.
233
00:10:04,845 --> 00:10:06,709
- Aw.
- Ever since you guys
left Astoria,
234
00:10:06,813 --> 00:10:08,608
instead of reading
on the toilet,
235
00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:13,474
I just look at Dawn's
share-location-dot bop
around the Upper West Side.
236
00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:16,167
Aw, I look at your
shared-location-dot too.
237
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,686
Really?
238
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,378
This is really cute.
Was it you two that just had
the baby, or..?
239
00:10:20,481 --> 00:10:23,726
I love when Marty
is jealous of me. Yes.
- I know, right?
240
00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:26,384
Don't be a jellybean.
- I am jealous.
241
00:10:26,487 --> 00:10:27,316
[Dawn] Don't be jealous,
baby.
242
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,869
I contributed to the IP.
243
00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,768
You honestly contributed less
to baby Melanie
244
00:10:30,871 --> 00:10:33,149
than there is Cheeto dust
on my fingers.
245
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,082
You did what you had to do...
- Thank you.
246
00:10:35,255 --> 00:10:37,153
...and I appreciate
your service,
thoughts and prayers.
247
00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:38,361
Okay, okay.
248
00:10:38,568 --> 00:10:39,535
But if you want me
to love you
249
00:10:39,811 --> 00:10:40,605
as much
as I love Eden,
250
00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,194
can you please just...
251
00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:45,023
get me some sushi?
252
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:48,371
I'm tired of chips.
I'm tired of cheese
and skittles.
253
00:10:48,475 --> 00:10:51,478
I don't want
to taste the rainbow no more.
I want some sushi.
254
00:10:51,581 --> 00:10:53,031
I've been waiting
ten months for this.
255
00:10:53,135 --> 00:10:55,102
No, no, no, guys,
this one's on me.
256
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:57,173
- Oh.
- I'm gonna get you the works.
257
00:10:57,587 --> 00:11:01,695
And you were going to have
the sexiest, most gorgeous
postpartum poo poo
258
00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:02,869
of all time.
259
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:04,146
I'm talking about you too,
Marty.
260
00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:05,009
Ew.
261
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,496
[woman] And so,
total is $457.53.
262
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,256
[piano music plays]
263
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:14,432
Oh, okay. No. Okay.
264
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:19,333
That's the cost of the food
in these here bags.
265
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:22,923
Where's the butler, Madame?
Butler! [laughs]
266
00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:29,309
Cash cool?
267
00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:30,655
Mh-hm.
268
00:11:31,035 --> 00:11:33,140
All right.
I'm not a drug dealer.
[laughs]
269
00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:36,557
I'm a yoga teacher.
I got my own studio,
in my apartment.
270
00:11:36,661 --> 00:11:40,423
Okay. And there's no
good guy discount?
[chuckles]
271
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:42,943
[whispers] Four.
- [music stops]
272
00:11:44,945 --> 00:11:48,259
Oh my God.
Literally precious moments.
273
00:11:48,362 --> 00:11:49,881
[camera clicking]
274
00:11:49,985 --> 00:11:52,712
- Uh, excuse me?
- Oh. You scared me.
275
00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:54,748
I know it looks creepy,
but...
276
00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:56,716
Is this a gorgeous family or?
277
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:58,545
I'm not a rando.
278
00:11:58,648 --> 00:12:00,167
Dawn is like my sister.
279
00:12:00,271 --> 00:12:02,307
Okay, but only pre-approved
actual family members
280
00:12:02,411 --> 00:12:04,137
can be in the room
after visiting hours.
281
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,727
Okay, well this sushi
was $500.
282
00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:10,384
So do you have a fridge
I could pop it in
283
00:12:10,488 --> 00:12:11,972
so it doesn't go bad for them.
284
00:12:12,214 --> 00:12:14,250
No, I mean, we have a fridge,
but it's for, you know,
285
00:12:14,354 --> 00:12:15,735
blood and organs.
286
00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:18,013
[subway squealing]
287
00:12:19,704 --> 00:12:20,809
Mmm.
288
00:12:27,574 --> 00:12:29,438
[conductor over intercom]
Closing this unit down
for the holiday.
289
00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:32,821
You all need to get out
and transfer to the next 2.
290
00:12:33,822 --> 00:12:34,961
Oh, fuck.
291
00:12:36,307 --> 00:12:37,687
Okay, okay, okay.
Wait, guys.
292
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,241
Hold up! MTA.
293
00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:41,070
This was $500.
294
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,555
[subway beeps]
295
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:47,249
Hey.
296
00:12:47,525 --> 00:12:48,388
Be nice to people.
297
00:12:48,491 --> 00:12:49,803
[subway beeps]
298
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:53,151
[conductor over intercom]
Sir, let the doors close, sir.
299
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:54,808
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
300
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,431
Whew! Oh, man.
301
00:12:58,674 --> 00:12:59,813
Happy Thanksgiving.
302
00:13:00,849 --> 00:13:01,884
Happy Thanksgiving.
303
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,368
I'm Eden.
304
00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:04,853
Claude.
305
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,718
Ugh. Brutal.
306
00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:10,755
My commute
is usually three trains,
307
00:13:10,859 --> 00:13:11,998
but with the holidays
it's four.
308
00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:13,654
Yeah. Me too. [sighs]
309
00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:17,106
[both] 2 to the 7,
to the G, to the end.
[chuckling]
310
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,350
Uhm. [clears throat]
311
00:13:20,454 --> 00:13:21,352
You like sushi?
312
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:24,217
I fucking love sushi.
313
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:26,667
[gentle piano music plays]
314
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,255
So where are you coming from?
Prom?
315
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:31,534
No. God, no. I hated prom.
316
00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:33,053
Me too.
317
00:13:33,502 --> 00:13:35,435
I love the idea of dressing up
in big ass outfits,
318
00:13:35,538 --> 00:13:37,437
but to celebrate high school
is such a waste.
319
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:41,579
Like, you know,
I got neck acne
and no identity.
320
00:13:41,682 --> 00:13:44,893
- [laughs]
- Take my picture. [laughs]
- No, I totally agree.
321
00:13:44,996 --> 00:13:47,447
It feels like prom
should happen way later
in life.
322
00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:50,381
You know,
for some higher purpose
or something.
323
00:13:50,484 --> 00:13:52,072
I love that idea.
324
00:13:52,210 --> 00:13:53,936
But seriously,
why are you dressed
like a waiter
325
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,904
from the Great Depression?
[laughing]
326
00:13:57,112 --> 00:14:00,701
I was shooting a movie.
Martin Scorsese.
327
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,945
Yeah, I've heard of him.
- Yeah.
328
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:05,396
That guy.
- What's your role?
329
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,881
You're gonna laugh. Uhm...
- Okay.
330
00:14:08,054 --> 00:14:09,779
But don't. It's, a...
- Okay.
331
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,678
A sexy black waiter.
332
00:14:11,781 --> 00:14:13,922
I'm not laughing.
- Okay fine, you can laugh.
- [laughs]
333
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,233
It was two lines.
334
00:14:15,544 --> 00:14:17,477
But in exchange,
I got this tux. [laughs]
335
00:14:21,136 --> 00:14:22,482
[music brightens]
336
00:14:26,279 --> 00:14:29,040
Mochi is like
a disembodied testicle.
337
00:14:30,559 --> 00:14:31,629
Just try it.
338
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:41,673
I feel like I definitely
prefer mushrooms over weed.
339
00:14:41,777 --> 00:14:43,261
Mm-mm.
340
00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:46,471
Shrooms have been making me
so paranoid lately.
- Have they?
341
00:14:46,609 --> 00:14:50,027
Last time I did them
I freaked out
that I was pregnant.
342
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:53,133
I bought dozens and dozens
of pregnancy tests.
343
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:55,480
I took like,
I swear to God, 30.
344
00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:56,861
Oh, God.
345
00:14:57,344 --> 00:15:00,244
It didn't even make sense,
my paranoia, because uhm...
346
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,315
Okay, sorry,
this is going to be TMI,
347
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:04,386
but we are
on our second train.
348
00:15:04,593 --> 00:15:06,940
No, that's cool.
This is a safe space.
349
00:15:07,044 --> 00:15:08,493
[music continues]
350
00:15:08,769 --> 00:15:15,224
But I have, never been,
uhm...
cummed inside, rawly.
351
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:18,331
[clears throat]
Sorry, I've never
had unprotected sex.
352
00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:22,059
Wow.
- I've never
had unprotected sex either.
353
00:15:22,542 --> 00:15:24,371
- Are you just saying that?
- I'm serious.
- You're not lying?
354
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:26,477
No, I mean,
I've heard great things
about it.
355
00:15:26,615 --> 00:15:28,962
Humanity is obsessed
with unprotected sex.
356
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:30,860
I don't know,
it's risky out there, man.
357
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,760
Diseases and shit.
I get tested every month.
358
00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:35,141
Oh, yeah? Same.
359
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,384
You don't go to the twins
on 43rd, do you?
360
00:15:37,488 --> 00:15:39,041
I-- I can't believe
you're saying this.
361
00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:40,284
- Oh my gosh.
- Yes.
362
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,630
I would trust those guys
with my life.
363
00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:42,942
Honestly.
- Totally.
364
00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:45,116
I mean, they're literally
my emergency contact.
365
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:47,774
- Oh, that's a nice
two for one.
- Quite the duo.
366
00:15:47,877 --> 00:15:49,224
I can't believe
you go to them.
367
00:15:51,157 --> 00:15:52,365
[music continues]
368
00:15:57,439 --> 00:15:59,717
Dad died when I was
in high school.
369
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,823
Mom died last year.
- No, I'm so sorry.
370
00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:06,586
- Yeah, it's okay.
- My mom died when I was three
and a half.
371
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:10,417
My dad has issues, man.
He is a mess.
372
00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:13,627
He's, like, agoraphobic
and a hoarder.
373
00:16:13,731 --> 00:16:17,700
And he's kind of a deadbeat.
But I'm not trying to compete.
374
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:20,427
Deadbeat dad's not as tough
as a dead, dead dad.
375
00:16:20,531 --> 00:16:23,879
Well, look, I think
we can both agree
that deadbeat, dead-dead,
376
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,467
they both suck.
- Yeah.
377
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:26,330
[chuckling]
378
00:16:27,331 --> 00:16:29,160
Oh, it's all a mess.
379
00:16:29,436 --> 00:16:35,753
But I like to live with hope.
Today I saw a baby be born.
380
00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:37,203
What?
381
00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:40,102
Covered in shit.
It was life in a nutshell.
382
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:46,177
A perfect, flawless,
newborn human being enveloped
in its mother's shit.
383
00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:49,008
[laughs] You should put that
on a t-shirt.
384
00:16:49,387 --> 00:16:52,045
Thank you. Thank you.
- [laughs]
385
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,289
[baby coos]
386
00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:56,912
Do you want to try just
moving it, right?
387
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,017
Really?
388
00:16:58,672 --> 00:16:59,777
You want to try it?
389
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,468
You want to show me
how to breastfeed
on your titties?
390
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:02,469
Show me how you'd breastfeed
your titties.
391
00:17:02,573 --> 00:17:04,954
No, you try it.
No, you try it this way.
392
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:10,339
Hi, sweet baby. How are you
enjoying the wonderful world,
cute stuff?
393
00:17:10,443 --> 00:17:12,962
Here's your creams.
Witch Hazel for your labia,
394
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,757
Preparation H
for your hemorrhoids
395
00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:18,071
and super strength ibuprofen
for all your other pains.
396
00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:20,660
Bowel movement yet?
- No, not yet.
397
00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:23,249
Would you like the card
of a lactation consultant?
398
00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:24,974
- Yes.
- No.
- No.
399
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:27,322
[nurse] Okay.
[Marty] I'll just hold it.
But I don't want it.
400
00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:31,119
And before I go,
here's some diapers for you, cutie.
401
00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:32,982
And some diapers for you.
402
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,501
[baby coos]
403
00:17:38,747 --> 00:17:39,886
Come on, bubba.
404
00:17:39,989 --> 00:17:41,819
- It's okay.
- Come on.
405
00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:43,269
Was it this hard
the first time?
406
00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:44,822
Like, I can't even remember.
407
00:17:44,925 --> 00:17:46,272
Well, with Tommy
408
00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:50,517
you had a third degree tear
with four hemorrhoids.
409
00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:53,175
But this time, you only have
a second degree tear
410
00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:54,728
with three hemorrhoids.
411
00:17:56,247 --> 00:17:57,869
So you're kind of crushing it.
412
00:17:58,042 --> 00:17:59,147
Aw.
413
00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:05,118
You're doing great.
414
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,500
[train rattles]
415
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:10,641
Okay, so...
what are you thankful for?
416
00:18:10,813 --> 00:18:12,194
What am I thankful for?
417
00:18:12,298 --> 00:18:13,471
Come on,
It's our fourth train.
418
00:18:13,644 --> 00:18:14,886
It's the nice part
of the holiday,
419
00:18:15,059 --> 00:18:17,303
If you can ignore
the genocide.
420
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:20,168
I don't know,
I guess I'm thankful
for my Xbox.
421
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:21,134
Does that count?
422
00:18:21,238 --> 00:18:22,031
[gentle piano music plays]
423
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,205
Yes.
- Good.
424
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:27,347
- What do you play?
- Street fighter.
425
00:18:27,451 --> 00:18:31,593
Dude, all I do
is Street Fighter.
Who is your character?
426
00:18:31,696 --> 00:18:35,390
Chun-Li.
- That is so feminist.
I love it.
427
00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:37,771
I mean, powerful thighs.
Unstoppable. Who's yours?
428
00:18:37,875 --> 00:18:39,532
Ryu.
Loyal since day one.
429
00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,258
- Wow.
- What?
430
00:18:41,361 --> 00:18:43,018
Are we about
to throw down?
431
00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:47,436
I think I'm about
to throw you down
and you don't stand a chance.
432
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,644
[laughs]
433
00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:54,167
[Claude] Wait, stop!
434
00:18:54,271 --> 00:18:55,203
[Eden] No I won't.
435
00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:56,065
Is this even allowed?
436
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,343
You mean winning?
437
00:18:57,688 --> 00:19:00,863
Okay. Even with a cheat?
Even with a cheat?
438
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:02,451
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
439
00:19:02,555 --> 00:19:05,627
Oh, sorry. I'm truly sorry...
- Damn it.
440
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:08,906
...that I'm shockingly good
at Street Fighter.
441
00:19:09,009 --> 00:19:10,149
[music stops]
442
00:19:10,390 --> 00:19:12,392
[Street Fighter
character shouts]
443
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,261
[exhales, chuckles]
444
00:19:20,331 --> 00:19:21,746
[laughing]
445
00:19:25,819 --> 00:19:30,824
Do you think
that we are going to have sex?
446
00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:33,137
- Sex?
- Yes, that.
447
00:19:33,241 --> 00:19:37,762
Well, it's kind of up to us,
right? We could.
448
00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:39,730
We could not.
449
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:44,804
I mean, it'd be nice.
How do you feel?
450
00:19:46,426 --> 00:19:50,050
I feel like it would also
be nice.
451
00:19:50,396 --> 00:19:54,848
I have just one big wrinkle.
452
00:19:55,194 --> 00:20:01,303
Or it's more like
one big gelatinous clot.
I am on my period.
453
00:20:04,789 --> 00:20:05,790
And?
454
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:09,725
Cool.
455
00:20:11,348 --> 00:20:12,659
Uhm, okay...
456
00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:15,524
So then, I have an idea.
457
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:19,770
Our conversation
got my wheels turning
458
00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:22,773
on those no-condom feels.
459
00:20:22,911 --> 00:20:26,397
You know, I have my period,
so I can't get pregnant...
460
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:28,848
And I'm clean
by the Twins this month.
461
00:20:28,986 --> 00:20:29,918
As am I.
462
00:20:31,713 --> 00:20:32,748
[sighs]
463
00:20:32,886 --> 00:20:34,336
Let's go ruin a towel.
464
00:20:34,923 --> 00:20:36,856
[laughing]
465
00:20:37,339 --> 00:20:39,479
[A Different Life
- Art Moore plays]
466
00:20:52,975 --> 00:20:54,701
[music fades]
467
00:20:54,805 --> 00:20:56,358
[laughing]
468
00:20:57,877 --> 00:20:59,258
Oh my God.
469
00:20:59,603 --> 00:21:01,467
Do you speak other languages?
470
00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:02,847
Umpah.
471
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:04,297
- Umpah.
- Wait.
472
00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:06,886
- Cake or pie?
- Definitely pie.
473
00:21:06,989 --> 00:21:08,025
Yes.
474
00:21:08,197 --> 00:21:09,406
Wait, does cheesecake count?
475
00:21:09,889 --> 00:21:14,307
Oh, that is the only cake
that may top pie.
476
00:21:14,411 --> 00:21:15,412
Tell me when.
477
00:21:15,515 --> 00:21:17,103
[music resumes]
478
00:21:17,206 --> 00:21:19,588
Not yet.
- Tell me when.
- Not yet.
479
00:21:19,726 --> 00:21:23,420
I studied French
from seventh grade
to 12th grade,
480
00:21:23,523 --> 00:21:26,733
and I-- I know un per.
- [laughs]
481
00:21:27,941 --> 00:21:30,979
How about now?
[squeals] Getting closer.
482
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:33,533
[laughing]
483
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,712
[music continues]
484
00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:48,030
[Eden] At Fourth Floor
Walk-Up Yoga,
485
00:21:48,134 --> 00:21:50,964
no one's judging your ass
through a window.
486
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,759
You're safe up here.
487
00:21:53,035 --> 00:21:56,107
So as we close out this year,
fuck a resolution.
488
00:21:56,211 --> 00:21:59,628
Just thank yourself
for the work you already did
this year.
489
00:21:59,835 --> 00:22:02,838
Whatever you're doing,
keep doing that.
490
00:22:03,529 --> 00:22:04,944
[indistinct chatter]
491
00:22:05,220 --> 00:22:06,083
[music continues]
492
00:22:14,885 --> 00:22:15,920
[growls]
493
00:22:28,174 --> 00:22:29,486
[music fades]
494
00:22:29,865 --> 00:22:31,350
Too soft.
495
00:22:32,454 --> 00:22:33,904
Too hard.
496
00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:36,976
[inhales sharply]
497
00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:38,943
Missing.
- Missing?
498
00:22:39,047 --> 00:22:41,912
I think what we want to do
is just really amp up
your supply
499
00:22:42,015 --> 00:22:44,190
so it forces its way out.
500
00:22:44,293 --> 00:22:47,193
I'd like to recommend...
[thud]
501
00:22:47,296 --> 00:22:49,229
...a hospital grade pump.
502
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:53,130
This is the one and only
Her Majesty.
503
00:22:53,441 --> 00:22:57,479
I have seen Her Majesty
pull milk out of the nipples
of boy children.
504
00:22:57,583 --> 00:22:59,343
She's that powerful.
505
00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:01,932
These are going super fast
from my Squarespace site:
506
00:23:02,035 --> 00:23:03,692
Lactation Lesley dot com.
507
00:23:03,865 --> 00:23:06,523
But I always bring
an extra one
for in-person clients.
508
00:23:07,662 --> 00:23:10,216
Okay, I'll get it.
509
00:23:10,596 --> 00:23:12,356
Don't know why
we're milking boys, but--
510
00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:14,047
You need it, sweetie.
511
00:23:14,151 --> 00:23:15,186
[phone chimes]
512
00:23:16,049 --> 00:23:17,430
Okay, I guess I'll just...
513
00:23:23,091 --> 00:23:26,750
Well, I'm going to get
started now, so thank you.
514
00:23:26,853 --> 00:23:27,716
You can go.
515
00:23:32,583 --> 00:23:34,067
[yelling from upstairs]
516
00:23:35,034 --> 00:23:36,656
Oh my God.
- [front door closes]
517
00:23:36,898 --> 00:23:39,797
Jesus Christ.
What happened to you?
518
00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:42,041
I got sprayed by Tommy.
- What?
519
00:23:42,144 --> 00:23:45,493
He refuses to wear undies,
so now he wants diapers again.
520
00:23:45,596 --> 00:23:46,839
Me too. So what?
521
00:23:46,977 --> 00:23:49,117
Some of it got in my mouth.
- Oh.
522
00:23:49,289 --> 00:23:52,258
Is it weird
that I love him so much
that I didn't even care?
523
00:23:52,672 --> 00:23:56,745
Like it wasn't good,
but it tasted cute.
524
00:23:56,849 --> 00:24:00,922
Oh my God,
that is the most romantic shit
you have ever said.
525
00:24:01,025 --> 00:24:02,717
I love you so much.
526
00:24:03,096 --> 00:24:05,236
Don't ever tell anyone
that story.
We are getting fucking weird.
527
00:24:05,340 --> 00:24:07,756
I think Tommy's jealous
that we're giving Melani
so much attention,
528
00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:09,517
so he's regressing.
- No, we have a baby.
529
00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:11,277
We don't need another baby.
530
00:24:11,864 --> 00:24:14,314
In fact, we had a second baby
because he's not a baby
anymore.
531
00:24:14,418 --> 00:24:16,213
We timed it perfectly, okay?
532
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,596
So talk to your boy
and tell him to lock it
the fuck up.
533
00:24:19,699 --> 00:24:21,736
I'm sure he's. gonna follow
that logic.
534
00:24:22,184 --> 00:24:25,498
I have to be diligent
with my pumping
with my low production.
535
00:24:25,602 --> 00:24:27,707
I gotta...
[thud]
536
00:24:27,811 --> 00:24:29,191
...get to it.
- [Tommy] Mommy.
537
00:24:30,952 --> 00:24:32,436
Daddy.
- Okay, look, wait. Just wait.
538
00:24:32,540 --> 00:24:33,817
Stop stop stop, please.
539
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,922
No. I made Melanie
with my body,
540
00:24:36,026 --> 00:24:39,098
and I'm going to feed her
with my body.
541
00:24:39,201 --> 00:24:41,065
I just have to figure out
how this thing works.
542
00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:42,998
Wait a second,
weren't you supposed
to hang out with Eden tonight?
543
00:24:43,102 --> 00:24:45,518
Yeah, but I canceled
because I've got to pump.
544
00:24:45,829 --> 00:24:48,038
Okay, listen, listen, listen,
listen. Put that down.
545
00:24:48,141 --> 00:24:50,178
Stop.
- What?
546
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:53,181
I go back to work next week,
which means it's going
to be you and the babies
547
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:55,321
for a couple of months,
and then you go back to work.
548
00:24:55,424 --> 00:24:56,909
I can't wait for the day.
549
00:24:57,012 --> 00:24:58,462
So please take me up on this.
550
00:24:58,566 --> 00:25:00,602
Go out tonight, have fun.
551
00:25:01,016 --> 00:25:03,018
Relaxing a bit
will be good for production.
552
00:25:03,122 --> 00:25:04,710
[crying from upstairs]
553
00:25:05,193 --> 00:25:07,160
Oh my God,
you're absolutely right.
[laughs] I love you so much.
554
00:25:07,264 --> 00:25:08,334
Bye. I'll miss you.
555
00:25:08,437 --> 00:25:09,300
I'll miss you too.
556
00:25:10,957 --> 00:25:13,373
Ooh! Pump and dump.
- [pop music plays
in background]
557
00:25:13,477 --> 00:25:15,410
- Oh, and... oh.
- That's good. Thank you.
558
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:16,307
[firework bangs]
559
00:25:16,411 --> 00:25:17,481
Wow.
560
00:25:17,585 --> 00:25:19,897
Oh! Pump and dump!
561
00:25:20,001 --> 00:25:21,934
Do it. Pump it and dump it.
562
00:25:22,037 --> 00:25:23,660
One more time.
Pump, pump, pump it up.
563
00:25:23,763 --> 00:25:25,282
Dump, dump, dump, dump,
dump it out.
564
00:25:25,385 --> 00:25:27,595
Mmm, that was good.
565
00:25:27,836 --> 00:25:31,219
I'm typically the ghost-er,
not the ghost-ee.
566
00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:33,014
I just really liked him.
567
00:25:33,117 --> 00:25:35,223
He even left his bow tie here
and hasn't asked for it back.
568
00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:38,916
Okay, you fucked a guy
that owns a bow tie?
569
00:25:39,020 --> 00:25:42,575
That's, uhm... charming.
Do you have any shrooms?
570
00:25:42,748 --> 00:25:44,370
Can you pump
and dump shrooms?
571
00:25:44,473 --> 00:25:46,337
I can answer that.
572
00:25:46,683 --> 00:25:49,582
I'm not producing anything.
So, you can't dump
what's not there.
573
00:25:49,686 --> 00:25:50,721
That's deep...
574
00:25:51,308 --> 00:25:52,585
I think.
575
00:25:52,689 --> 00:25:54,276
Shrooms, please.
576
00:25:54,380 --> 00:25:57,314
New Year's, us,
shrooms, please.
577
00:25:57,417 --> 00:25:59,212
New year's, us...
- What?
578
00:25:59,316 --> 00:26:01,629
I can't say no to that.
579
00:26:01,732 --> 00:26:03,354
Ow!
- Aww.
580
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,909
Okay, I'm gonna go
to my secret spot and get 'em.
- Okay.
581
00:26:06,012 --> 00:26:09,498
Oh, is this secret spot
in Fraggle Rock where--
582
00:26:09,602 --> 00:26:11,190
Ooh! Yay!
583
00:26:11,293 --> 00:26:12,674
You raw dogging it?
584
00:26:12,847 --> 00:26:14,089
No, actually, do you have,
like, a crostini
585
00:26:14,193 --> 00:26:15,643
or some butter
I can saute them in?
586
00:26:15,746 --> 00:26:16,954
I need a little nosh
with my shrooms.
587
00:26:17,058 --> 00:26:19,232
You are so classy
it's insane.
588
00:26:19,336 --> 00:26:20,371
Thank you.
589
00:26:20,475 --> 00:26:22,028
[Doja Cat - MOOO! plays]
590
00:26:22,132 --> 00:26:24,237
[Dawn] This is our big titty
Ted Talk.
591
00:26:24,341 --> 00:26:26,377
You're my best friends.
592
00:26:26,550 --> 00:26:29,070
I work for you.
I work for everyone.
593
00:26:29,898 --> 00:26:33,937
We gotta feed our baby.
594
00:26:35,663 --> 00:26:41,876
Moo!
[echoing, distorted] Moo!
595
00:26:41,979 --> 00:26:44,672
Hello, Dawn!
It's your titties.
596
00:26:44,775 --> 00:26:47,916
We just woke the fuck up.
597
00:26:48,089 --> 00:26:51,368
Know what girl?
Prepare for a flood.
598
00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:53,646
Here we go!
599
00:26:54,095 --> 00:26:56,028
[Apache Indian
- Boom Shack-A-Lack plays]
600
00:26:58,513 --> 00:27:02,310
Oh shit! Eden! Here we go!
601
00:27:02,793 --> 00:27:06,245
Woo! Get me a bottle.
602
00:27:07,315 --> 00:27:08,799
Okay, got it.
603
00:27:08,903 --> 00:27:11,353
Woo! It's coming!
604
00:27:13,701 --> 00:27:15,185
Bitch, I'm a cow!
605
00:27:16,220 --> 00:27:17,636
You see this? Woo!
606
00:27:17,739 --> 00:27:20,293
Yes! Yes. What?
607
00:27:20,466 --> 00:27:24,125
Melanie, I'm coming home baby!
I'm coming home!
608
00:27:24,228 --> 00:27:26,334
[groans] Ow!
609
00:27:27,093 --> 00:27:28,370
Not again...
610
00:27:28,543 --> 00:27:31,373
Whoa! Oh, God.
611
00:27:31,546 --> 00:27:33,686
Come on, shrooms. Chill.
612
00:27:33,962 --> 00:27:36,827
You are some silly Simon.
613
00:27:36,931 --> 00:27:38,864
- [baby screams]
- Oh...
614
00:27:39,140 --> 00:27:42,143
I am not pregnant.
Come on, shrooms.
615
00:27:42,246 --> 00:27:43,213
Ooh.
616
00:27:43,316 --> 00:27:44,870
[lid pops]
- [blows]
617
00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:47,389
Am I over a toilet?
- Completely.
618
00:27:49,253 --> 00:27:50,220
[urine swooshing]
619
00:27:50,323 --> 00:27:52,671
[singing] Okay, okay.
620
00:27:52,843 --> 00:27:54,362
Shall we make ice cream?
621
00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:55,466
Fuck!
- [lid pops]
622
00:27:55,570 --> 00:27:56,675
[blows]
623
00:27:56,847 --> 00:27:58,159
[urine swooshing]
- Ooh!
624
00:27:58,331 --> 00:28:00,161
I feel like I could just
breastfeed the Knicks.
625
00:28:00,264 --> 00:28:01,334
Dawn, uh...
626
00:28:01,438 --> 00:28:02,473
Crisis.
627
00:28:02,577 --> 00:28:03,992
Not in a sexual way, but...
628
00:28:04,855 --> 00:28:06,236
...also in a sexual way.
629
00:28:06,339 --> 00:28:07,651
Line's positive.
630
00:28:07,755 --> 00:28:08,721
Pregnant.
631
00:28:08,825 --> 00:28:11,206
I feel this!
632
00:28:12,311 --> 00:28:13,484
[music stops]
633
00:28:15,314 --> 00:28:16,556
Oh, God.
634
00:28:16,798 --> 00:28:22,528
Okay. I'm thinking maybe,
just maybe,
635
00:28:22,631 --> 00:28:26,256
I am a pregnant person.
636
00:28:26,532 --> 00:28:29,569
I'm 28 for 28.
I could do a 29th?
637
00:28:29,673 --> 00:28:31,848
Yeah, no.
638
00:28:32,227 --> 00:28:34,816
You are clearly pregnant.
- Okay...
639
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,405
I-- I don't know how
this could have happened.
640
00:28:37,508 --> 00:28:40,926
I've had sex once
since my last period,
but I was on my period.
641
00:28:41,305 --> 00:28:43,894
- So?
- So you can't get pregnant
on your period.
642
00:28:43,998 --> 00:28:47,726
Girl.
- Girl?
- Girl.
643
00:28:47,829 --> 00:28:50,107
- Girl. [clears throat]
- Girl
- Girl.
644
00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:51,350
Yes you can.
645
00:28:51,453 --> 00:28:53,110
Girl, stop!
646
00:28:53,801 --> 00:28:55,803
Girl, you stop.
We went to the same school.
We learned the same shit.
647
00:28:55,906 --> 00:28:57,425
Come on. No you can't.
648
00:28:57,528 --> 00:28:59,496
Ma'am, I'm a doctor.
649
00:29:00,773 --> 00:29:02,913
You are a dentist.
650
00:29:03,224 --> 00:29:04,466
You're a whore.
651
00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:05,744
[laughs] True.
652
00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:08,470
You're a whore.
You're a flexible whore.
653
00:29:08,574 --> 00:29:09,540
Better believe.
654
00:29:09,817 --> 00:29:11,922
Maybe it's someone else?
655
00:29:12,026 --> 00:29:14,442
No, Claude is the only person
it could be.
656
00:29:14,545 --> 00:29:16,133
I don't even know
his last name.
657
00:29:16,444 --> 00:29:18,929
Maybe y'all got
some mutual people
you know in common?
658
00:29:19,033 --> 00:29:23,037
Oh, I don't think we do,
but uhm...
659
00:29:23,692 --> 00:29:25,177
Actually.
660
00:29:27,041 --> 00:29:29,457
[both] Hey! Eden!
[Eden] Hey, how are ya?
661
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,597
Long time no see.
So, what are we doing today?
662
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:33,081
Left arm, right arm?
663
00:29:33,426 --> 00:29:35,946
Uhm, actually,
I am not here to get tested.
664
00:29:36,257 --> 00:29:40,295
I am here to ask
about another patient.
665
00:29:41,676 --> 00:29:44,127
LOL. His name is Claude.
666
00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:46,336
[inhales sharply] Ooh, okay
uh...
667
00:29:46,508 --> 00:29:48,683
Yeah. We can't talk
about other patients.
668
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,340
I'm not sure
if you're familiar with HIPAA.
669
00:29:50,443 --> 00:29:52,307
It's against the rules.
- HIPAA.
- HIPAA.
670
00:29:52,411 --> 00:29:53,861
- Familiar with HIPAA?
- HIPAA, oh yeah.
671
00:29:53,964 --> 00:29:54,862
- We can't--
- Hope, HIPAA.
672
00:29:54,965 --> 00:29:56,311
I got a tip up for ya.
673
00:29:56,415 --> 00:29:57,968
It's that HIPAA.
674
00:29:58,555 --> 00:29:59,867
Ooh, you hit the HIPAA?
- You hit the HIPAA.
- He's hit the HIPAA.
675
00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:01,765
Hungry, hungry HIPAA.
676
00:30:02,145 --> 00:30:05,734
It's the H, the I, the P,
the P the A, the H,
the I, the P.
677
00:30:05,838 --> 00:30:07,081
Is HIPAA.
678
00:30:07,184 --> 00:30:08,876
Totally respect.
- Mh-hm.
679
00:30:08,979 --> 00:30:11,982
But the thing is I am...
680
00:30:12,845 --> 00:30:16,331
pregnant with Claude's fetus.
681
00:30:16,435 --> 00:30:17,781
[fake laughs]
682
00:30:18,264 --> 00:30:20,853
I can't get him on the phone.
I don't know his last name.
683
00:30:20,957 --> 00:30:23,407
You know how it is
because you test people
who fuck a lot.
684
00:30:23,511 --> 00:30:26,479
Uhm... he was just
in a Scorsese movie.
685
00:30:26,583 --> 00:30:28,481
Do you know him?
- Yeah, yeah.
686
00:30:28,585 --> 00:30:30,932
We-- we know exactly
who you're talking about.
687
00:30:31,036 --> 00:30:32,658
He's beautiful, man.
- Mm.
688
00:30:32,761 --> 00:30:34,729
Kind-- kind eyes.
He has kind eyes.
689
00:30:34,867 --> 00:30:37,870
But here's the thing about
him, though. Uh...
690
00:30:38,664 --> 00:30:39,907
He died. [exhales]
691
00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:41,909
He died. He's dead.
692
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:44,981
What?
693
00:30:45,326 --> 00:30:46,845
That was very poorly done.
- What do you mean?
694
00:30:46,948 --> 00:30:48,156
Bro, I mean, the other thing
about him?
695
00:30:48,260 --> 00:30:49,571
- It's hard news to break.
- Right.
696
00:30:49,675 --> 00:30:51,539
When? How?
697
00:30:51,642 --> 00:30:53,713
[sighs] It was the day
after Thanksgiving.
698
00:30:53,817 --> 00:30:55,854
Freak accident.
He choked on an almond.
699
00:30:56,061 --> 00:30:57,683
We were really surprised
to get the call,
700
00:30:57,786 --> 00:31:00,203
but also felt honored
that he saw us
701
00:31:00,306 --> 00:31:02,239
as emergency contact level
dudes.
702
00:31:02,343 --> 00:31:04,172
He knows. Pretty cool.
- Right.
703
00:31:04,793 --> 00:31:07,141
Did he die alone?
704
00:31:07,244 --> 00:31:09,281
Yes he-- yes he did.
He died alone.
705
00:31:09,384 --> 00:31:11,628
There wasn't anyone there
to deliver the Heimlich.
706
00:31:11,731 --> 00:31:13,733
Yeah. It's perilous
to live alone.
707
00:31:13,837 --> 00:31:15,804
One of the many reasons
I love living with this guy.
708
00:31:15,908 --> 00:31:18,531
- Right.
- We give each other
the Heimlich all the time.
709
00:31:18,635 --> 00:31:19,670
- All the time.
- Yeah.
710
00:31:19,912 --> 00:31:21,017
We had thin throats
growing up.
711
00:31:21,293 --> 00:31:22,294
I mean,
we have thin throats now.
712
00:31:22,501 --> 00:31:23,847
We were born premature, so...
- Yeah.
713
00:31:24,020 --> 00:31:25,918
- And we eat too fucking fast.
- Too fast.
714
00:31:26,367 --> 00:31:27,333
Me too.
715
00:31:29,197 --> 00:31:34,893
Holy shit. I'm pregnant
with a dead man's baby?
716
00:31:35,721 --> 00:31:39,759
I mean, I wouldn't say that...
I mean, he was alive
when you fucked him.
717
00:31:39,863 --> 00:31:41,485
He was alive. He was alive
when you...
718
00:31:41,589 --> 00:31:43,384
But he is fucking currently.
719
00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:44,868
Well, yeah.
- Yeah.
720
00:31:44,972 --> 00:31:45,834
- He's gone.
- Yeah, yeah.
721
00:31:45,938 --> 00:31:47,112
- He's dead.
- Yeah.
722
00:31:49,942 --> 00:31:51,047
[sighs]
723
00:31:54,395 --> 00:31:55,983
[enthusiastically] Single mom.
724
00:31:56,086 --> 00:31:58,433
She may not keep the baby.
Choice.
725
00:31:58,537 --> 00:31:59,710
Oh, right. Right.
726
00:31:59,814 --> 00:32:02,161
[enthusiastically] Single...
727
00:32:02,610 --> 00:32:03,956
[Kevin Morby - Nothing Sacred
/ All Things Wild plays]
728
00:32:28,843 --> 00:32:30,603
[music fades]
729
00:32:30,707 --> 00:32:33,054
[subway squeaks]
730
00:32:33,227 --> 00:32:35,332
I do think that the subway
sounds like
731
00:32:35,436 --> 00:32:37,472
the Gregorian chants
from like the 1500s.
[subway squeals]
732
00:32:37,576 --> 00:32:38,508
That's weird.
733
00:32:40,096 --> 00:32:42,063
[singing high notes]
734
00:32:42,477 --> 00:32:43,858
There it goes again.
There it is.
735
00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:44,963
[music resumes]
736
00:33:18,479 --> 00:33:19,721
[music fades]
737
00:33:19,894 --> 00:33:21,758
So you're sure that's a fetus
738
00:33:21,861 --> 00:33:26,452
and not like
my spleen got loose
and is floating around?
739
00:33:26,556 --> 00:33:29,973
I am as certain as I am that
this combover is no longer
working for me,
740
00:33:30,077 --> 00:33:31,561
and I need a new idea.
741
00:33:32,596 --> 00:33:33,839
Mmm.
742
00:33:34,150 --> 00:33:36,704
I can't believe I got pregnant
on my period.
743
00:33:36,807 --> 00:33:40,397
I thought that was impossible.
- It's not likely,
but possible.
744
00:33:40,501 --> 00:33:43,297
Does the fetus look healthy?
Because I didn't know
I was pregnant
745
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:47,922
and I've had [exhales]
weed, shrooms, alcohol,
746
00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:51,684
sushi, coffee
and unpasteurized cheese.
747
00:33:51,788 --> 00:33:54,273
Well, if you decide
to continue
with the pregnancy,
748
00:33:54,377 --> 00:33:55,792
all of that has to stop.
749
00:33:55,895 --> 00:33:57,345
But the fetus looks great.
750
00:33:57,518 --> 00:33:59,727
We should do some genetic
testing to make sure
751
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:01,418
there aren't any
big red flags.
752
00:34:01,522 --> 00:34:03,248
Jewish people carry
certain diseases.
753
00:34:04,387 --> 00:34:06,320
How did you know
I was Jewish?
754
00:34:06,423 --> 00:34:10,151
You put J on the form.
- Oh, I filled it out. Yeah.
755
00:34:10,427 --> 00:34:13,879
Okay. Do you only do
minority stuff?
756
00:34:13,982 --> 00:34:18,090
Certain ethnicities
carry certain
genetic diseases.
757
00:34:18,470 --> 00:34:21,680
So genetic testing
is necessarily racist.
758
00:34:21,783 --> 00:34:23,958
It's true. Doctor Morris
wanted to test me
for sickle cell,
759
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,304
and I was offended.
760
00:34:25,408 --> 00:34:27,237
Well, you called me
a white devil.
761
00:34:27,996 --> 00:34:31,207
But turns out I'm a carrier,
so this white devil knows
what he's talking about.
762
00:34:31,379 --> 00:34:34,279
So we don't have
the father's DNA?
763
00:34:34,451 --> 00:34:37,385
No.
- Okay, well we have your DNA,
764
00:34:37,489 --> 00:34:40,285
so you can schedule
a screening with the Quest,
765
00:34:40,388 --> 00:34:44,358
and you can have the results
on your phone in a jiff.
766
00:34:44,461 --> 00:34:47,395
Okay. Guess I'll go swab up
some Jew cells.
767
00:34:48,293 --> 00:34:49,708
[vacuum whirs]
768
00:34:51,572 --> 00:34:53,677
Hey big boy, you wanna
help Mama clean?
769
00:34:55,714 --> 00:34:57,233
Okay.
770
00:34:57,819 --> 00:35:01,478
Oh come on, I have refreshed
this app so many times
771
00:35:01,582 --> 00:35:03,170
my phone is starting
to get hot.
772
00:35:03,342 --> 00:35:05,482
You don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.
773
00:35:05,586 --> 00:35:08,244
Honestly? Honestly,
you wouldn't judge me
if I got an abortion?
774
00:35:08,347 --> 00:35:10,970
Even if the baby's healthy?
- Absolutely not.
775
00:35:11,247 --> 00:35:13,732
Look, you got to think
about yourself, Eden, okay?
776
00:35:13,835 --> 00:35:16,183
This is all about your choice
and what's good for you.
777
00:35:17,425 --> 00:35:18,771
Oh, the results are in,
778
00:35:20,980 --> 00:35:24,156
It says no red flags. And...
779
00:35:26,158 --> 00:35:27,263
It's all good.
780
00:35:27,366 --> 00:35:29,265
Listen. It's okay.
781
00:35:30,507 --> 00:35:32,854
I have your back,
no matter what.
782
00:35:33,338 --> 00:35:36,927
Truly, truly, truly,
you will be there for me
783
00:35:37,031 --> 00:35:39,965
every step of the way,
no matter what choice I make?
784
00:35:40,276 --> 00:35:41,691
I need to know that.
785
00:35:41,794 --> 00:35:42,761
[Melanie crying]
786
00:35:42,864 --> 00:35:43,727
Yes.
787
00:35:44,590 --> 00:35:45,626
Okay.
788
00:35:47,041 --> 00:35:48,767
I am going to have...
789
00:35:52,702 --> 00:35:57,845
A baby. [laughs]
I'm going to have the baby.
790
00:35:58,432 --> 00:36:01,469
Mom? Yeah. [laughs]
791
00:36:01,883 --> 00:36:04,162
[sighs] Okay.
- Yes. I'm going
to be a mother.
792
00:36:04,265 --> 00:36:08,027
I'm going to be a mommy,
I like that.
793
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:10,547
Okay, mamacita.
No, that's appropriation.
794
00:36:10,651 --> 00:36:13,964
[claps] Okay,
I'm having a baby.
795
00:36:14,068 --> 00:36:16,277
Okay? Yes, dog.
796
00:36:16,381 --> 00:36:18,383
Yeah. It just feels
like destiny.
797
00:36:18,486 --> 00:36:24,423
And this is Destiny's Child.
[laughs] Can you believe that?
798
00:36:24,527 --> 00:36:26,598
Did you hear that,
Destiny's Child?
799
00:36:26,805 --> 00:36:28,979
Oh! Jumpin', jumpin'.
800
00:36:29,773 --> 00:36:31,499
Whoa. Okay. It's on.
801
00:36:31,672 --> 00:36:35,020
Eden. Are you sure about this?
802
00:36:35,538 --> 00:36:38,541
Because the hormones
can be pretty intense--
803
00:36:38,644 --> 00:36:39,680
Hormones? LOL.
804
00:36:39,852 --> 00:36:42,441
Mitch McConnell,
uhm, I love you. What?
805
00:36:42,545 --> 00:36:45,686
Eden, I just want to--
806
00:36:45,824 --> 00:36:48,206
I'm just trying to say--
What I'm-- I'm just.
807
00:36:48,309 --> 00:36:49,931
Dawn, you think I can do this.
Right?
808
00:36:50,069 --> 00:36:51,726
[Melanie crying]
809
00:36:52,175 --> 00:36:54,833
[Marty] Mama! Melanie's
waiting for you.
810
00:36:56,179 --> 00:36:57,318
- Yeah.
- Yes!
811
00:36:57,422 --> 00:36:58,837
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
812
00:36:59,286 --> 00:37:00,632
[Marty] Mommy, really.
813
00:37:01,978 --> 00:37:03,290
- Yes.
- Yes.
814
00:37:03,497 --> 00:37:05,015
[Le Tigre
- My My Metrocard plays]
815
00:37:10,089 --> 00:37:13,886
[Eden on phone] You did not
tell me how sexy it is
to be pregnant.
816
00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:16,303
Were you crazy horny?
817
00:37:16,406 --> 00:37:18,339
It comes out of nowhere.
818
00:37:18,512 --> 00:37:21,411
[Dawn] I honestly
can't even remember.
819
00:37:21,515 --> 00:37:22,447
Hey.
820
00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:25,657
[groans]
821
00:37:25,829 --> 00:37:26,658
[sighs]
822
00:37:31,387 --> 00:37:33,561
[Eden on phone] But girl,
you been to the grocery store
lately?
823
00:37:34,355 --> 00:37:36,702
That produce is teasing us.
824
00:37:38,739 --> 00:37:42,812
Two orgasms
are better than one. [laughs]
825
00:37:59,794 --> 00:38:01,209
[music stops]
826
00:38:01,313 --> 00:38:03,315
She's here, she's here.
827
00:38:03,419 --> 00:38:05,283
Nanny Dani is here.
828
00:38:06,076 --> 00:38:07,699
Oh, thank God. [chuckles]
829
00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:10,564
You had just moved here
830
00:38:10,736 --> 00:38:14,153
and I went
to the new playground
with Tommy.
831
00:38:14,257 --> 00:38:15,914
Everyone was so fancy
up there.
832
00:38:16,017 --> 00:38:19,297
One fancy couple liked
how I played with Tommy
833
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,919
and want me to go
and work for them,
834
00:38:21,022 --> 00:38:22,679
and I say I can't.
835
00:38:23,266 --> 00:38:27,408
I work for Marty and Dawn,
but they asked me,
just babysit one night.
836
00:38:27,512 --> 00:38:29,479
And I said, okay.
837
00:38:30,066 --> 00:38:35,623
When fancy parents came back,
they offered me fancy drinks
and fancy desserts.
838
00:38:35,796 --> 00:38:38,764
One fancy thing led to another
and they offered me
a full time job.
839
00:38:38,868 --> 00:38:40,179
And I said yes.
840
00:38:40,594 --> 00:38:43,286
- Whore.
- You don't mean that.
She doesn't mean that.
841
00:38:43,390 --> 00:38:45,702
[laughs] You're not that.
- [exhales]
842
00:38:47,980 --> 00:38:51,501
[Eden] Do you have any advice
for me as an upcoming
black parent?
843
00:38:52,537 --> 00:38:55,954
No, because you're
not a black parent.
844
00:38:56,057 --> 00:38:58,508
You're going
to be a white parent
of a half black child.
845
00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,373
Yes. Excellent note.
846
00:39:01,546 --> 00:39:02,995
[door opens]
- Hey, how's everything going?
847
00:39:04,169 --> 00:39:07,137
Pregnancy wise,
I'm killing it.
848
00:39:07,241 --> 00:39:10,486
I don't have morning sickness,
but I do have
morning horniness.
849
00:39:10,658 --> 00:39:12,419
Afternoon and night as well.
850
00:39:12,522 --> 00:39:14,628
Well, that is wonderful.
851
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,597
This-- [growls]
Just don't look at it.
It's just way out of hand.
852
00:39:18,770 --> 00:39:21,117
Okay, well,
I read that it's good
853
00:39:21,220 --> 00:39:24,741
to have a birth plan,
and I read some basic ones,
854
00:39:24,845 --> 00:39:27,537
and they are just so sterile.
855
00:39:27,641 --> 00:39:30,126
I mean, all they talk about
is medicine and apparatuses.
856
00:39:30,229 --> 00:39:31,576
I'm like, cool?
857
00:39:31,679 --> 00:39:34,751
I want this birth
to be original,
858
00:39:34,855 --> 00:39:37,167
one that celebrates humanity.
859
00:39:37,271 --> 00:39:38,617
I'm thinking less
in clinical terms
860
00:39:38,721 --> 00:39:40,619
and more along the line
of theme.
861
00:39:40,964 --> 00:39:45,935
And the theme of my birth
will be, drumroll please,
Doctor Morris.
862
00:39:46,453 --> 00:39:47,661
[sighs]
863
00:39:47,764 --> 00:39:49,214
Prom.
864
00:39:49,628 --> 00:39:51,803
Prom sucked for me,
Claude hated it too.
865
00:39:51,906 --> 00:39:54,564
A person, giving birth
should be the prom of life.
866
00:39:54,668 --> 00:39:56,601
That's when the pageantry
is truly deserved.
867
00:39:56,704 --> 00:40:03,021
So welcome to...
Eden's prom birth
extravaganza.
868
00:40:03,124 --> 00:40:04,609
[laughs]
869
00:40:04,885 --> 00:40:08,026
I've already started building
a epic Spotify playlist.
870
00:40:08,129 --> 00:40:13,065
Okay, I'll, I'll read this
when I have a chance
to really take it in.
871
00:40:13,169 --> 00:40:15,205
Actually, that's the only
hard copy I have,
872
00:40:15,309 --> 00:40:18,208
so I will email you guys PDFs.
873
00:40:19,175 --> 00:40:20,659
[tranquil music plays]
874
00:40:21,246 --> 00:40:24,594
And now guys we're going
to gently go
into downward dog, okay?
875
00:40:24,698 --> 00:40:25,768
[clears throat]
876
00:40:28,115 --> 00:40:29,668
[swallows loudly]
877
00:40:31,152 --> 00:40:32,153
[gasps]
878
00:40:33,292 --> 00:40:34,362
[groans]
879
00:40:34,501 --> 00:40:37,124
Let's go into upward dog.
880
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,437
[people breathing heavily]
881
00:40:41,404 --> 00:40:42,888
[vomit swirls]
882
00:40:43,337 --> 00:40:44,545
[swallows]
883
00:40:47,099 --> 00:40:48,066
[chokes]
884
00:40:49,343 --> 00:40:50,620
[clears throat]
885
00:40:52,070 --> 00:40:53,036
[swallows]
886
00:40:54,072 --> 00:40:55,004
[exhales]
887
00:40:56,315 --> 00:40:57,420
[grunts]
888
00:40:57,558 --> 00:40:58,766
[exhales]
889
00:41:01,355 --> 00:41:02,356
[music stops]
890
00:41:02,529 --> 00:41:04,531
Oh, it is scorching out here.
891
00:41:04,634 --> 00:41:08,742
What? It's 61 and beautiful.
You are scorching.
892
00:41:08,845 --> 00:41:11,296
Oh, man. It feels like
the surface of the sun.
893
00:41:11,745 --> 00:41:14,644
God, I am flying
through underwear.
894
00:41:14,748 --> 00:41:16,646
Oh, yeah,
the random vagina waters.
895
00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:20,374
It's not piss, it's not sweat.
It's just like a--
896
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,170
A proper mix, like...
like salad dressing.
897
00:41:23,826 --> 00:41:24,861
[exhales]
898
00:41:25,172 --> 00:41:26,553
You sure you gonna be okay
to babysit?
899
00:41:26,656 --> 00:41:28,313
Oh, yeah. Of course.
900
00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:30,073
You and Marty
deserve a date night.
901
00:41:30,522 --> 00:41:31,799
[burping]
902
00:41:35,389 --> 00:41:37,184
Never treble burped before.
903
00:41:37,460 --> 00:41:40,014
You look good, though, bitch.
Let's go.
904
00:41:40,152 --> 00:41:41,602
[electro music plays]
905
00:41:43,224 --> 00:41:45,054
Yes. Oh, are you crowning?
906
00:41:45,157 --> 00:41:47,988
We don't know,
but you got a crown on.
907
00:41:48,091 --> 00:41:50,024
[camera clicking]
908
00:41:50,162 --> 00:41:52,061
I don't know
if you're giving me
Little Kim or Rachel Dolezal,
909
00:41:52,164 --> 00:41:53,545
but I'm here for it.
910
00:41:54,063 --> 00:41:55,789
Give me, 'Oops.
Did I just have
the last donut?'
911
00:41:55,892 --> 00:41:57,169
What?
912
00:41:57,653 --> 00:42:00,379
Give me shy whore.
You know how to do it.
913
00:42:00,552 --> 00:42:01,726
[camera clicking continues]
914
00:42:03,417 --> 00:42:04,452
[seductively] Hi.
915
00:42:04,625 --> 00:42:05,695
[music stops]
916
00:42:05,868 --> 00:42:07,248
Babe, we got to go to dinner.
917
00:42:07,352 --> 00:42:08,905
[Dawn] I'm in the zone, Marty.
918
00:42:09,043 --> 00:42:10,769
Why is she wearing
a mosquito net?
919
00:42:12,288 --> 00:42:14,014
That's fine.
920
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:15,843
[Tommy coos]
921
00:42:16,016 --> 00:42:19,571
Jesus Christ, [laughs]
you scared me, Tommy.
922
00:42:19,675 --> 00:42:21,677
[tense TV music plays
in background]
923
00:42:21,780 --> 00:42:24,542
[sighs] Okay, I'm not
your mommy or your daddy.
924
00:42:24,645 --> 00:42:27,130
I've always considered us
friends.
925
00:42:27,234 --> 00:42:33,792
So as a friend,
what is going on
with the baby thing?
926
00:42:33,896 --> 00:42:35,691
I don't know, it's fun.
927
00:42:36,174 --> 00:42:37,278
It's fun.
928
00:42:37,589 --> 00:42:39,867
I hear that, but I don't know.
929
00:42:39,971 --> 00:42:43,630
To me, being a baby
looks like it sucks.
930
00:42:43,733 --> 00:42:47,634
Like if you were a big boy,
I'd ask you
to watch this with me.
931
00:42:47,737 --> 00:42:50,671
It's an R-rated movie.
932
00:42:50,809 --> 00:42:54,019
It's called The Omen.
It's about a boy like you.
933
00:42:54,123 --> 00:42:59,611
- Is he a big boy or a baby?
- He's actually the devil.
934
00:42:59,715 --> 00:43:01,164
Woo? [laughs]
935
00:43:01,268 --> 00:43:02,649
What's the devil?
936
00:43:02,821 --> 00:43:05,306
Okay, let's just watch.
No more spoilers.
937
00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:11,519
But if I let you watch,
you cannot tell your parents, okay?
938
00:43:11,727 --> 00:43:16,663
And you're going
to stop acting like a baby.
939
00:43:17,698 --> 00:43:18,803
Deal?
940
00:43:23,670 --> 00:43:25,326
Deal.
- Okay.
941
00:43:26,362 --> 00:43:27,674
He a big boy.
942
00:43:28,398 --> 00:43:29,676
Oh, with a paci, but...
943
00:43:30,331 --> 00:43:31,332
It 's a start.
944
00:43:31,505 --> 00:43:32,679
[explosion]
945
00:43:33,645 --> 00:43:34,922
[screams]
946
00:43:38,374 --> 00:43:40,859
Whoa! That was intense.
947
00:43:42,896 --> 00:43:44,863
[Dawn] It's your tone.
[Marty] I have no tone.
948
00:43:44,967 --> 00:43:46,002
- That's the tone I'm--
- Shh!
949
00:43:46,106 --> 00:43:46,865
[door closes]
950
00:43:47,659 --> 00:43:51,801
Hey. He uh... couldn't sleep.
951
00:43:52,284 --> 00:43:55,184
It's okay.
All right, buddy, let's go.
952
00:43:55,287 --> 00:43:57,842
[whispering]
Let's go upstairs.
Come on, Tommy.
953
00:43:58,014 --> 00:44:00,430
Come on. [grunts]
There we go.
954
00:44:00,534 --> 00:44:01,708
[Tommy whines]
955
00:44:02,018 --> 00:44:03,710
Oh, we're still doing
the paci? Okay.
956
00:44:03,813 --> 00:44:06,644
You got it? All right.
Say good night to Eden.
957
00:44:06,954 --> 00:44:08,749
Oh, what a good dada.
958
00:44:09,025 --> 00:44:11,787
Dada can go fuck himself.
- Totally.
959
00:44:11,890 --> 00:44:14,065
The whole night,
he was just going on and on
960
00:44:14,168 --> 00:44:16,446
and on about
my low milk production.
961
00:44:16,550 --> 00:44:20,243
I mean, he even said
I should quit
because I'm stressed
962
00:44:20,347 --> 00:44:22,798
and that I should feel
more confident
963
00:44:22,901 --> 00:44:24,834
and I should feel good
about myself.
964
00:44:24,938 --> 00:44:28,286
And he said I was beautiful.
- That sucks.
965
00:44:28,389 --> 00:44:31,082
When you hear that
from somebody who love
and supports you.
966
00:44:31,185 --> 00:44:33,671
It's the worst.
He's such a know it all.
967
00:44:33,774 --> 00:44:37,916
Are you guys
having sexual intercourse?
968
00:44:38,192 --> 00:44:41,713
No. Not since Melanie
was born.
969
00:44:41,817 --> 00:44:44,164
That makes sense.
That makes a ton of sense.
970
00:44:44,267 --> 00:44:46,614
It's not like I don't want
to, I do.
971
00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:48,202
Did you see him
in that sweater?
972
00:44:48,375 --> 00:44:49,721
He looks good.
973
00:44:50,273 --> 00:44:52,517
What parent
wears white clothing?
[laughs] It's wild.
974
00:44:52,620 --> 00:44:57,764
But there's never a time
because we're so busy
and have so many things to do.
975
00:44:57,867 --> 00:44:59,697
And he's always holding a kid,
which is really hot.
976
00:44:59,904 --> 00:45:03,045
But you can't just knock
the kid out of his hand
and sit on his dick.
977
00:45:03,148 --> 00:45:05,530
That's not how life works.
[alarm beeping]
978
00:45:05,633 --> 00:45:07,843
God, gotta go milk the donuts.
979
00:45:09,258 --> 00:45:10,915
Here we go again.
980
00:45:12,088 --> 00:45:14,021
All right, I'm going
to ask you something.
981
00:45:14,125 --> 00:45:17,128
How many feedings
are you getting in
982
00:45:17,231 --> 00:45:19,958
with your titty milk
for Melanie in a day.
983
00:45:20,614 --> 00:45:22,098
Like, one day?
984
00:45:22,271 --> 00:45:25,619
You know how the earth spins
on an axis?
985
00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:27,241
I know how it works,
yeah, a day.
986
00:45:27,345 --> 00:45:30,900
So, I would say one-ish
987
00:45:32,246 --> 00:45:33,420
Bitch.
988
00:45:35,146 --> 00:45:36,906
- Bitch.
- Mm-mm bitch.
989
00:45:37,113 --> 00:45:39,702
- Bitch.
- Bitch.
- Biatche.
990
00:45:39,806 --> 00:45:42,187
- Bitch.
- Bitch.
- Bitch.
991
00:45:42,291 --> 00:45:45,777
- Bitch.
- The stories you tell
yourself, bitch.
992
00:45:45,881 --> 00:45:50,471
- Bitch.
- Bah bah bah bitch.
- Bitch.
993
00:45:51,714 --> 00:45:54,441
Come on, dude,
why are you doing it?
994
00:45:57,444 --> 00:45:58,859
I just...
995
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,690
I just want that feeling
of nourishing.
996
00:46:02,794 --> 00:46:03,968
[fake laughs]
997
00:46:04,244 --> 00:46:06,556
You want to nourish?
I laugh at that.
998
00:46:06,660 --> 00:46:08,904
All you do is nourish.
999
00:46:09,007 --> 00:46:11,941
You nourish Melanie,
you nourish Tommy,
1000
00:46:12,045 --> 00:46:13,667
you nourish Marty,
you nourish me,
1001
00:46:13,805 --> 00:46:15,462
you nourish
the fucking mail carrier.
1002
00:46:15,911 --> 00:46:19,121
You nourish the bodega guy,
you walk in a room,
you're sunshine.
1003
00:46:19,224 --> 00:46:22,296
You're giving light, warmth,
energy without even trying.
1004
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,884
All you do is nourish.
1005
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,094
You're-- You're a night time
cruise buffet of nourish.
1006
00:46:27,232 --> 00:46:28,371
Enough.
1007
00:46:28,544 --> 00:46:29,579
[exhales]
1008
00:46:30,442 --> 00:46:33,618
Okay, uhm... Wow. [sighs]
1009
00:46:33,721 --> 00:46:35,482
You know, honestly,
I could use a little break
1010
00:46:35,585 --> 00:46:38,416
because my nipples,
they look like, uhm...
1011
00:46:38,519 --> 00:46:41,315
Have you ever seen a sausage,
but not in the casing?
1012
00:46:41,419 --> 00:46:43,110
That's what my nipples
look like.
1013
00:46:43,214 --> 00:46:44,836
They look like
a melted Tootsie roll,
1014
00:46:44,940 --> 00:46:47,735
just a very long, brown,
skinny, sugary sweet.
1015
00:46:47,839 --> 00:46:49,841
Ew? Mm. [chuckles]
1016
00:46:49,945 --> 00:46:52,395
Sometimes I feel like
getting my nipple in my bra
1017
00:46:52,499 --> 00:46:54,881
is like figuring out
how to fold a fitted sheet.
1018
00:46:54,984 --> 00:46:56,848
There's just so many corners.
1019
00:46:56,952 --> 00:46:58,954
[sharply inhales] Something
to look forward to.
1020
00:46:59,057 --> 00:47:01,853
It's just, I don't want
to be a quitter.
1021
00:47:01,957 --> 00:47:03,268
You don't have to go out
on breastfeeding
1022
00:47:03,372 --> 00:47:05,167
with your tail
between your legs.
1023
00:47:05,443 --> 00:47:07,134
You can fucking attack.
1024
00:47:07,238 --> 00:47:09,309
[Shania Twain - Man! I Feel
Like A Woman plays!]
1025
00:47:09,447 --> 00:47:10,655
[pot smashes]
1026
00:47:10,897 --> 00:47:12,760
I love that flower pot.
- Oh, sorry.
1027
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:14,176
But I also love that.
1028
00:47:14,279 --> 00:47:15,280
[box thuds]
1029
00:47:15,453 --> 00:47:16,557
[mildly] Ooh.
1030
00:47:16,764 --> 00:47:19,319
Come on. Is it
the espadrilles?
1031
00:47:19,422 --> 00:47:20,527
[mildly] Ha!
1032
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,667
No, Dawn,
I want to see you destroy.
1033
00:47:22,770 --> 00:47:24,427
Everything about our bodies
is wrong.
1034
00:47:24,531 --> 00:47:26,740
You get a complex
that you're not enough,
1035
00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,984
so here it is. What are you
going to do?
1036
00:47:29,087 --> 00:47:30,917
Okay, uhm... Yeah.
1037
00:47:31,020 --> 00:47:34,368
You made me feel like I suck,
and I know I don't suck.
1038
00:47:34,472 --> 00:47:36,612
You don't suck shit!
1039
00:47:36,784 --> 00:47:38,303
Oh, God, I think
I peed a little.
1040
00:47:38,752 --> 00:47:40,512
That's right.
- You want to pump some more?
- That's right.
1041
00:47:40,616 --> 00:47:42,342
- You wanna pump some more?
- Get him, Tony!
1042
00:47:42,445 --> 00:47:44,447
- Do you wanna pump some more?
- Get him Tony!
1043
00:47:44,551 --> 00:47:47,623
- Do you want to pump some
more?
- Get him Tony!
1044
00:47:47,726 --> 00:47:50,419
What's that?
What's that, you finicky
little bitch?
1045
00:47:50,522 --> 00:47:53,353
Oh, you want me
to light you on fire?
1046
00:47:53,525 --> 00:47:55,320
No problem.
- [cracks]
1047
00:47:55,493 --> 00:47:56,494
Help me up.
1048
00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,255
- [claps]
- [match strikes]
1049
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:01,430
[fire roars]
1050
00:48:03,604 --> 00:48:05,020
[music continues]
1051
00:48:11,612 --> 00:48:12,613
[music stops]
1052
00:48:13,476 --> 00:48:14,822
[traffic hums]
1053
00:48:15,306 --> 00:48:17,377
So make sure that Tommy
wears his big boy undies
1054
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,759
and that he sits on the potty.
He won't like it,
but definitely--
1055
00:48:20,863 --> 00:48:22,865
I understand,
I will do my best.
1056
00:48:22,969 --> 00:48:26,179
Uhm... God, what else
was I gonna say?
1057
00:48:26,282 --> 00:48:28,698
It's been so long
since I've been back to work.
1058
00:48:28,802 --> 00:48:30,079
I'm just, uhm--
1059
00:48:30,562 --> 00:48:31,909
Don't worry, I've got this.
I'm from East New York.
1060
00:48:32,012 --> 00:48:34,359
I raised, like, 438 kids.
[laughs]
1061
00:48:34,463 --> 00:48:36,016
Okay, great.
I'm gonna get going then.
1062
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:37,707
Go start your work life.
1063
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,399
I'm gonna start
my work life. Thank you.
1064
00:48:39,502 --> 00:48:41,332
What are you, like,
the Puerto Rican Brene Brown?
1065
00:48:41,435 --> 00:48:43,437
Dominican, but it's okay,
my husband's Boricua.
1066
00:48:43,541 --> 00:48:44,542
[laughing]
1067
00:48:45,336 --> 00:48:46,716
[uplifting music plays]
1068
00:49:00,592 --> 00:49:02,594
[female voice] Welcome back,
kiddo!
1069
00:49:02,698 --> 00:49:04,010
[cheering]
1070
00:49:05,321 --> 00:49:06,840
Hi honey!
1071
00:49:07,220 --> 00:49:09,739
Look at you.
- Look at me.
1072
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,673
Your timing is perfect.
I just heard back.
1073
00:49:12,777 --> 00:49:15,676
You're one of the finalists
for the Invisalign campaign.
1074
00:49:15,780 --> 00:49:17,161
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
1075
00:49:17,264 --> 00:49:18,576
They're down to three.
1076
00:49:18,679 --> 00:49:20,164
Oh that's great.
1077
00:49:20,612 --> 00:49:22,407
That is so great.
We could really use
the extra money.
1078
00:49:22,511 --> 00:49:25,134
I always dreamed I'd be
one of those nine out of ten
1079
00:49:25,238 --> 00:49:28,172
dentists agree spokespeople
for commercials.
1080
00:49:28,344 --> 00:49:30,450
But I just never had the chin
for TV.
1081
00:49:30,553 --> 00:49:31,796
You have it.
1082
00:49:31,899 --> 00:49:33,349
[scoffs] You know what?
1083
00:49:33,832 --> 00:49:36,214
You have a shot
because you are good looking
for a dentist.
1084
00:49:36,318 --> 00:49:37,940
I think this
was a compliment, right?
1085
00:49:38,044 --> 00:49:39,493
And I have found
in my experience,
1086
00:49:39,597 --> 00:49:42,531
good looking dentists
are serial killers,
1087
00:49:43,221 --> 00:49:45,051
but not you.
1088
00:49:45,534 --> 00:49:48,433
Fingers crossed.
I'm going to keep you posted
on this one, okay?
1089
00:49:48,537 --> 00:49:49,848
Thanks.
1090
00:49:50,125 --> 00:49:52,299
Welcome back.
Come on, come on everybody.
1091
00:49:52,403 --> 00:49:53,507
[cheering]
1092
00:49:54,267 --> 00:49:55,544
[indistinct chatter]
1093
00:49:57,339 --> 00:49:58,961
Hey, Tommy.
Just coming to check.
1094
00:49:59,065 --> 00:50:00,998
Did you put on
your big boy undies?
1095
00:50:01,101 --> 00:50:02,516
[sinister sting]
1096
00:50:02,654 --> 00:50:04,656
- [whispering voices]
- [doors slamming]
1097
00:50:05,450 --> 00:50:07,452
- [baby giggling]
- [gasps]
1098
00:50:07,556 --> 00:50:08,626
[sinister sting]
1099
00:50:09,316 --> 00:50:11,594
[prays in Spanish]
1100
00:50:11,905 --> 00:50:13,562
[rising sting]
1101
00:50:13,769 --> 00:50:15,046
[screaming]
1102
00:50:16,599 --> 00:50:17,704
[cracker crunching]
1103
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:21,087
[heaves]
1104
00:50:26,126 --> 00:50:27,472
[swallows] Ah...
1105
00:50:27,576 --> 00:50:28,473
[phone vibrates]
1106
00:50:28,611 --> 00:50:30,096
[sighs]
1107
00:50:30,820 --> 00:50:35,135
[Dawn on phone] Babe,
I am so sorry,
but I can't make the amnio.
1108
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:37,448
Our new nanny just quit.
1109
00:50:37,862 --> 00:50:40,175
I didn't know Satan worship
was a part of regression
for a child,
1110
00:50:40,278 --> 00:50:42,349
but I got to get
the fuck home.
1111
00:50:42,729 --> 00:50:46,146
He drew six six sixes
and upside down crosses
all over his room.
1112
00:50:46,974 --> 00:50:49,046
He hissed at her in tongues.
1113
00:50:49,149 --> 00:50:52,187
Uh, anyways, I'm so sorry.
Good luck, Boo!
1114
00:50:54,637 --> 00:50:56,122
[somber music plays]
1115
00:50:58,055 --> 00:50:59,401
[sharply inhales]
1116
00:51:00,022 --> 00:51:01,161
[exhales]
1117
00:51:08,824 --> 00:51:13,587
Hey Dad. It's [clears throat]
Eden, your grown daughter.
1118
00:51:13,794 --> 00:51:18,523
Uhm, I just wanted
to let you know
that I'm having a baby.
1119
00:51:18,972 --> 00:51:25,944
And I have a really big
appointment today.
Amniocentesis.
1120
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:28,809
I know you don't like
tall buildings
1121
00:51:28,913 --> 00:51:31,536
or-- or small buildings
[laughs] or hospitals,
1122
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:35,678
but I was just curious
if you might want to come.
1123
00:51:36,162 --> 00:51:39,993
I can text you the details.
I know, I know,
it's last minute.
1124
00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:42,547
Either way, though, congratulations.
1125
00:51:42,651 --> 00:51:46,482
You're--you're going
to be a grandpa, so...
1126
00:51:46,586 --> 00:51:47,966
Yeah. Okay.
1127
00:51:48,070 --> 00:51:49,451
Bye.
1128
00:51:49,727 --> 00:51:50,417
[music continues]
1129
00:51:52,074 --> 00:51:53,317
[sighs]
1130
00:51:54,076 --> 00:51:54,904
[music fades]
1131
00:51:55,008 --> 00:51:56,320
[sonogram whirs]
1132
00:51:56,423 --> 00:51:59,150
Woah.
- Looking good.
1133
00:52:00,289 --> 00:52:02,395
Fantastic head shape.
1134
00:52:02,533 --> 00:52:04,776
Hey, speaking of head shape,
what do you think?
1135
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:05,674
You know, with the shaved.
1136
00:52:05,777 --> 00:52:06,675
[heaves]
1137
00:52:07,952 --> 00:52:09,160
It's nice.
1138
00:52:09,264 --> 00:52:10,920
It's terrible,
but I appreciate it.
1139
00:52:11,024 --> 00:52:12,336
[chair buzzes]
1140
00:52:12,681 --> 00:52:15,166
Do you want to know the sex?
- No, thank you.
1141
00:52:15,270 --> 00:52:17,134
I don't want to put a binary
on them right now,
1142
00:52:17,237 --> 00:52:20,413
but I feel like I know.
Maternal intuition.
1143
00:52:20,654 --> 00:52:22,863
It is a male spirit.
- Uh-huh.
1144
00:52:22,967 --> 00:52:28,075
How wild is it
to have a vagina
and be growing a penis?
1145
00:52:28,248 --> 00:52:30,526
I have a baby dick
inside of me? What?
1146
00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:32,114
Yeah. I never thought of that.
1147
00:52:32,287 --> 00:52:35,117
Little fetus penis.
That almost rhymes.
1148
00:52:35,255 --> 00:52:36,532
But I don't want
to know formally,
1149
00:52:36,636 --> 00:52:38,672
because I want Dawn here
for that.
1150
00:52:38,776 --> 00:52:40,812
And I'm pretty sure
she'd want to be here
for that, too.
1151
00:52:42,055 --> 00:52:43,712
Just to toss it out...
1152
00:52:43,919 --> 00:52:49,511
You might want to hire a doula
just in case Dawn's too busy
1153
00:52:49,614 --> 00:52:50,857
with, you know, her family.
1154
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,686
Wait, what? Say it again.
1155
00:52:53,273 --> 00:52:55,689
Well, Dawn might be too busy
with her family, you know,
given the schedule.
1156
00:52:55,793 --> 00:52:59,383
[laughs] No, no, no.
Dawn and I are family.
1157
00:52:59,486 --> 00:53:02,765
We are sisters.
- Uh-huh.
- Spouses.
1158
00:53:03,145 --> 00:53:05,251
Parents to each other
at times.
1159
00:53:05,354 --> 00:53:09,324
So I just hear you, thank you,
but no thank you.
1160
00:53:10,048 --> 00:53:12,050
So, uhm...
1161
00:53:12,327 --> 00:53:14,536
Amnio time. You ready?
It's a pretty big needle.
1162
00:53:14,639 --> 00:53:17,470
[exhales] Yes. Just don't stab
my baby's dick.
1163
00:53:17,711 --> 00:53:19,334
I'm going to be more worried
about the head.
1164
00:53:19,437 --> 00:53:20,645
Both are precious.
1165
00:53:22,337 --> 00:53:23,683
[sonogram whirs]
1166
00:53:23,855 --> 00:53:24,994
It's a good sized pocket.
1167
00:53:26,962 --> 00:53:28,101
Thank you.
- [gasps]
1168
00:53:28,377 --> 00:53:31,311
Oh, what?
- I told you it was big.
1169
00:53:31,415 --> 00:53:33,693
That's not big.
That's-- that's LOL.
1170
00:53:33,796 --> 00:53:34,866
What are we--
1171
00:53:34,970 --> 00:53:36,523
That's for my--
1172
00:53:36,696 --> 00:53:38,076
- Yeah.
- Cool.
1173
00:53:38,284 --> 00:53:40,355
No. Cool.
- Okay, you ready?
- Mh-hm.
1174
00:53:40,734 --> 00:53:43,427
- Okay.
- Mh-hm. [inhales sharply]
1175
00:53:43,634 --> 00:53:44,428
All right.
1176
00:53:44,842 --> 00:53:46,602
[screams]
1177
00:53:46,775 --> 00:53:48,363
No no no no no no no no no.
Just stop.
1178
00:53:48,466 --> 00:53:49,881
Just give me a sec.
Just give me a sec.
1179
00:53:49,985 --> 00:53:51,297
[inhales sharply]
1180
00:53:51,676 --> 00:53:54,231
Wow, you are such a big man.
You need that needle.
1181
00:53:54,334 --> 00:53:55,611
It does--
You're double my size.
1182
00:53:55,715 --> 00:53:57,337
What do you need
this needle for?
1183
00:53:57,613 --> 00:54:01,307
It does eventually have to go
inside to get the fluid.
1184
00:54:01,410 --> 00:54:03,550
That needle's nuts!
1185
00:54:03,723 --> 00:54:06,001
Okay, what about a blindfold?
1186
00:54:06,104 --> 00:54:07,520
How about that?
1187
00:54:08,141 --> 00:54:10,902
We don't blindfold
our patients, it's--
it's unethical.
1188
00:54:11,109 --> 00:54:14,043
Okay, how about a gag? Hm?
1189
00:54:14,872 --> 00:54:16,736
No gags, no blindfolds.
1190
00:54:16,943 --> 00:54:19,739
We don't do medicine that way.
It'll be fine.
1191
00:54:19,877 --> 00:54:20,981
[exhales]
1192
00:54:21,327 --> 00:54:23,156
You won't even feel it.
- Okay, okay.
1193
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,606
Okay? Good.
1194
00:54:25,883 --> 00:54:27,298
Doctor Morris. [exhales]
1195
00:54:27,505 --> 00:54:29,369
- Good, good, good.
- Je trust.
1196
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:30,957
- Okay.
- [sonogram whirs]
1197
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:32,786
[screams] No, no!
1198
00:54:33,580 --> 00:54:37,412
[sighs]
- Mm-mm No. Sorry.
1199
00:54:37,550 --> 00:54:38,999
I wasn't even close.
1200
00:54:39,137 --> 00:54:41,761
Mm, I was ready, but I--
[chuckles]
1201
00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:44,729
Okay.
- Okay, okay.
1202
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:46,455
Okay.
- I'll gag you.
1203
00:54:46,938 --> 00:54:48,181
Ah...
1204
00:54:48,457 --> 00:54:52,185
Now don't tell anyone.
1205
00:54:52,358 --> 00:54:53,497
[arguing outside]
1206
00:54:53,980 --> 00:54:54,877
[exhales]
1207
00:54:55,913 --> 00:54:56,983
[Doctor Morris] Perfect.
1208
00:54:58,295 --> 00:54:59,365
[Eden] Oh, Jesus.
1209
00:54:59,572 --> 00:55:00,745
[female voice]
Sorry Doctor Morris!
1210
00:55:00,918 --> 00:55:03,196
This is my dad.
[Doctor Morris] Oh.
1211
00:55:03,438 --> 00:55:04,715
What are you doing
to my kid, man?
1212
00:55:04,956 --> 00:55:07,200
You could come in and just--
just take a seat.
1213
00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:08,408
- Okay.
- Hi.
1214
00:55:08,512 --> 00:55:09,444
[Dad] How you doing?
1215
00:55:11,515 --> 00:55:12,895
Ready?
[Eden] Mh-hm.
1216
00:55:14,897 --> 00:55:15,864
[sonogram whirs]
1217
00:55:15,967 --> 00:55:18,763
Okay, there it is.
1218
00:55:19,799 --> 00:55:21,110
[Dad screams]
1219
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,009
Sorry. I'm sorry.
1220
00:55:23,285 --> 00:55:25,045
Keep going, keep going,
keep going.
1221
00:55:25,425 --> 00:55:26,806
[exhales] Sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
1222
00:55:26,944 --> 00:55:28,739
[traffic hum]
[birds chirping]
1223
00:55:34,192 --> 00:55:35,780
If this isn't good--
- No, no, no.
1224
00:55:35,884 --> 00:55:37,610
It's great, it's great,
it's fantastic.
1225
00:55:43,029 --> 00:55:44,444
[sighs]
1226
00:55:44,755 --> 00:55:47,827
So who's the uhm...
Who's the dad?
1227
00:55:48,828 --> 00:55:50,450
This guy Claude.
1228
00:55:50,864 --> 00:55:55,731
He reminds me of Mom,
actually, from what
you've described.
1229
00:55:57,975 --> 00:55:58,838
Where the fuck is he?
1230
00:56:00,805 --> 00:56:01,806
He died.
1231
00:56:04,153 --> 00:56:05,085
Oh wow.
1232
00:56:06,639 --> 00:56:07,812
He is like Mom.
1233
00:56:08,710 --> 00:56:09,849
[laughs]
1234
00:56:12,092 --> 00:56:13,335
Shit.
1235
00:56:13,577 --> 00:56:15,613
Yeah.
- Honey, I'm so sorry.
1236
00:56:16,303 --> 00:56:17,684
Yeah.
1237
00:56:17,995 --> 00:56:19,341
Does he have any family?
1238
00:56:19,617 --> 00:56:22,275
Not really. It's just small
like ours.
1239
00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:23,794
Not a lot left.
1240
00:56:24,311 --> 00:56:27,660
I tracked down his
closest relative
who got his ashes.
1241
00:56:27,763 --> 00:56:30,732
It was his second cousin,
and we zoomed.
1242
00:56:30,835 --> 00:56:33,804
I thought it was going to be
this mind blowing moment,
1243
00:56:33,907 --> 00:56:36,600
but it definitely
just creeped her out.
1244
00:56:37,601 --> 00:56:38,809
W-- were you together long?
1245
00:56:40,673 --> 00:56:43,261
No, not-- not long.
1246
00:56:43,572 --> 00:56:45,471
But I don't know,
I don't know...
1247
00:56:46,333 --> 00:56:48,888
It was an important
connection.
1248
00:56:48,991 --> 00:56:50,061
A real connection.
1249
00:56:51,131 --> 00:56:52,201
Connection?
1250
00:56:52,512 --> 00:56:55,446
It can't be measured in time,
you know?
1251
00:56:55,550 --> 00:56:57,690
Grammy and grandpa
were together for 50 years.
1252
00:56:57,793 --> 00:56:59,692
They hated each other's guts.
1253
00:56:59,795 --> 00:57:01,141
[laughs]
1254
00:57:01,797 --> 00:57:07,354
And I know, myself,
I've not been the best parent,
perhaps, in the world.
1255
00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:13,533
But maybe one of the perks
of being a bad dad is that,
I don't know...
1256
00:57:13,637 --> 00:57:17,779
You turned out so good.
So, so strong, so resourceful.
1257
00:57:19,539 --> 00:57:24,475
So you think
if you were a good dad,
I'd be a worse person?
1258
00:57:24,579 --> 00:57:27,167
Exactly. That's exactly
what I mean.
- [laughs]
1259
00:57:27,271 --> 00:57:29,825
I mean, there's all kinds
of great dads out there
with shitty kids, right?
1260
00:57:29,929 --> 00:57:32,345
That's true.
That's really true.
1261
00:57:32,794 --> 00:57:39,214
If a guy like me, right,
with the scant crumbs
of parenting that I put forth,
1262
00:57:39,317 --> 00:57:45,634
can call somebody
as sensational as you are
his daughter,
1263
00:57:46,532 --> 00:57:47,774
Well, you got this.
1264
00:57:48,292 --> 00:57:49,500
You can do this.
1265
00:57:51,882 --> 00:57:53,539
Thanks, Dad.
- [soft piano music plays]
1266
00:57:53,711 --> 00:57:56,680
Look, honey, I know this
should be, like, a great time
1267
00:57:56,783 --> 00:58:01,685
for this to turn
into a Nora Ephron movie,
you know?
1268
00:58:01,788 --> 00:58:03,618
And I come to all
your appointments and stuff,
1269
00:58:03,997 --> 00:58:06,034
but I'm sorry, honey,
I just can't, I won't.
It's not going to happen.
1270
00:58:06,137 --> 00:58:08,070
You know, just sitting here,
I just start to feel.
1271
00:58:08,174 --> 00:58:09,796
I'm just-- My heart's racing.
It's just not good.
1272
00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:11,211
I don't feel good. You know,
- I feel you.
1273
00:58:11,315 --> 00:58:13,386
It's okay. This...
1274
00:58:13,697 --> 00:58:16,320
This was good.
I got a lot out of this crumb.
1275
00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:19,150
No, it-- it sucks.
1276
00:58:19,426 --> 00:58:24,328
But I want you to know
that I would really love
to meet your baby someday.
1277
00:58:24,673 --> 00:58:27,504
Okay? But I gotta go--
I gotta go now. I'm sorry.
1278
00:58:34,407 --> 00:58:35,822
Thanks, Dad.
- Okay.
1279
00:58:38,169 --> 00:58:39,136
[exhales]
1280
00:58:41,621 --> 00:58:42,864
[sighs]
1281
00:58:44,728 --> 00:58:46,315
[birds chirping]
1282
00:58:50,423 --> 00:58:51,700
[music fades]
1283
00:58:51,873 --> 00:58:54,220
I missed
the Invisalign meeting.
1284
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,429
They're going to go
with someone else
and we need that money.
1285
00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:58,811
[Marty] Okay, but I can't
take time off work like you.
1286
00:58:58,914 --> 00:59:00,571
Just give it a couple
more weeks,
we'll find another Nanny.
1287
00:59:00,675 --> 00:59:01,745
Guys. Hey, guys.
1288
00:59:01,848 --> 00:59:04,541
Hey. I got your message.
1289
00:59:04,644 --> 00:59:07,992
I was just in the area
after my appointment
1290
00:59:08,096 --> 00:59:10,754
and saw your share location
was here.
1291
00:59:10,857 --> 00:59:15,344
Used my keys. Hey. [chuckles]
So, uh, yeah.
1292
00:59:15,448 --> 00:59:19,245
Good news from the appointment
is my, appetite's coming back?
1293
00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:20,315
[laughs]
1294
00:59:20,453 --> 00:59:22,179
So, uhm, 'sup?
1295
00:59:23,283 --> 00:59:24,630
[chip crunching]
1296
00:59:30,118 --> 00:59:31,119
Uhm... [claps]
1297
00:59:31,222 --> 00:59:34,640
My amnio was pretty good,
1298
00:59:34,881 --> 00:59:37,815
but Doctor Morris
was just like,
"Where's Dawn?"
1299
00:59:37,919 --> 00:59:42,682
And I didn't know what to say.
He was kind of pissed and sad.
1300
00:59:42,786 --> 00:59:47,584
Just because you said
you were going to be
at all the appointments.
1301
00:59:48,999 --> 00:59:51,588
So just maybe
you shouldn't miss more.
1302
00:59:51,898 --> 00:59:55,108
Our children
were almost abandoned
1303
00:59:55,212 --> 00:59:58,905
because you decide
to show Tommy The Omen.
1304
00:59:59,009 --> 01:00:01,528
He just demon-ed our nanny
right out of our house.
1305
01:00:01,632 --> 01:00:06,154
Whoa! He told you?
We had a deal.
1306
01:00:06,257 --> 01:00:08,156
We, you know,
pinky-sweared out or whatever,
1307
01:00:08,259 --> 01:00:10,296
but that's their language
at that point.
1308
01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:11,953
He's four going on one.
1309
01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:14,231
He's not beholden
to pinky swears, Eden.
1310
01:00:14,334 --> 01:00:15,888
I'm so sorry.
1311
01:00:16,233 --> 01:00:18,925
I was trying
to do a nice thing,
and it backfired.
1312
01:00:19,236 --> 01:00:20,202
And I'll...
1313
01:00:21,065 --> 01:00:21,928
I'll go.
1314
01:00:26,243 --> 01:00:27,554
Okay, I'll see ya.
1315
01:00:28,003 --> 01:00:30,178
Okay, one last thing.
- Oh my God.
1316
01:00:30,281 --> 01:00:32,974
Doctor Morris was just like,
"Maybe you should
get a doula."
1317
01:00:33,077 --> 01:00:36,184
And I was like, "What?
What are you talking about?"
1318
01:00:36,287 --> 01:00:38,704
"I don't think Dawn's going
to miss more."
1319
01:00:38,911 --> 01:00:42,017
So should I even consider
getting a doula?
1320
01:00:42,121 --> 01:00:43,536
Yeah.
1321
01:00:43,985 --> 01:00:47,298
I think you should get a doula
because we have no childcare.
1322
01:00:47,402 --> 01:00:48,575
Get a doula.
1323
01:00:48,886 --> 01:00:50,785
Got it. Okay,
I'm going to get a doula.
1324
01:00:50,957 --> 01:00:54,098
Just get a back up doula.
Not a definite doula.
1325
01:00:54,202 --> 01:00:57,515
I'm going to get
a doula back up.
Not a doula definite.
1326
01:00:57,619 --> 01:00:59,069
No. You should get a doula
as a definite.
1327
01:00:59,966 --> 01:01:02,072
Definitely get yourself
a doula
1328
01:01:02,175 --> 01:01:03,452
I-- I-- I got it.
1329
01:01:03,556 --> 01:01:05,351
Sorry about that. All right.
1330
01:01:05,454 --> 01:01:07,180
I'll uh...
[keys rattle]
1331
01:01:07,284 --> 01:01:08,181
You can have the chips.
1332
01:01:09,286 --> 01:01:10,943
[quirky music plays]
1333
01:01:11,046 --> 01:01:14,463
Why does she
still have a key?
- I don't know.
1334
01:01:14,567 --> 01:01:16,396
[both] Same. [laughing]
1335
01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:20,573
Crazy. Your face,
your resume, your vibe.
1336
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:22,368
We are very similar.
1337
01:01:22,886 --> 01:01:24,957
I think you're gonna find that
all doulas are super similar
to you, dude.
1338
01:01:25,060 --> 01:01:26,234
You should just be a doula.
[laughing]
1339
01:01:27,373 --> 01:01:28,685
Thank you.
1340
01:01:29,064 --> 01:01:31,377
I'm looking for a backup Dawn,
and she's like a foil,
1341
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:34,069
whereas you're like a--
[both] Saran wrap.
1342
01:01:34,345 --> 01:01:36,278
You know--
- I know what you mean.
[laughing]
1343
01:01:38,902 --> 01:01:40,110
I'm going to have to pass.
1344
01:01:42,975 --> 01:01:44,286
[music continues]
1345
01:01:45,460 --> 01:01:46,806
[chuckles]
1346
01:01:53,433 --> 01:01:54,331
[exhales]
1347
01:01:54,434 --> 01:01:55,642
Okay. You can go.
1348
01:01:55,919 --> 01:01:58,784
Why am I a doula as a man?
Simple.
1349
01:01:59,198 --> 01:02:01,510
I just want to honor
the female body.
1350
01:02:01,648 --> 01:02:02,995
Get out!
1351
01:02:03,409 --> 01:02:05,963
I'm sorry.
I know it sounds creepy,
but it's true.
1352
01:02:06,067 --> 01:02:07,447
I really mean it.
1353
01:02:07,862 --> 01:02:10,416
[sighs] Let me hear it
one more time.
1354
01:02:10,657 --> 01:02:12,694
I want to honor
the female body.
1355
01:02:12,832 --> 01:02:14,144
I'm sorry.
1356
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:17,354
Maybe I'm backwards.
but when you say that
I get sick.
1357
01:02:17,457 --> 01:02:18,665
That's your journey.
1358
01:02:18,769 --> 01:02:20,219
Okay, don't say journey.
1359
01:02:20,322 --> 01:02:21,220
Get out of here.
1360
01:02:22,497 --> 01:02:24,533
Your name? Dragana.
1361
01:02:24,637 --> 01:02:26,294
What does that mean,
a female dragon?
1362
01:02:26,466 --> 01:02:27,571
No.
1363
01:02:27,847 --> 01:02:29,193
I figured. I was just joking.
1364
01:02:30,539 --> 01:02:33,197
So what's your experience
level?
1365
01:02:33,301 --> 01:02:36,166
40 years doula,
40 years wet nurse.
1366
01:02:37,167 --> 01:02:39,410
You've been a wet nurse
for 40 years?
1367
01:02:39,514 --> 01:02:42,379
Lactating every day since 16.
1368
01:02:42,517 --> 01:02:43,656
[gasps]
1369
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:46,590
[claps] Hallelujah.
1370
01:02:46,693 --> 01:02:50,421
I mean, people don't even know
about the phenomenon
of wet nursing,
1371
01:02:50,525 --> 01:02:54,840
keeping milk pumping
through your titties
to feed other people's babies.
1372
01:02:56,669 --> 01:02:58,844
I love this, this electricity.
1373
01:03:00,431 --> 01:03:02,468
You're the one.
You're back up, Dawn.
1374
01:03:03,710 --> 01:03:04,850
Okay.
1375
01:03:05,678 --> 01:03:06,575
[music stops]
1376
01:03:06,748 --> 01:03:07,922
Tommy.
1377
01:03:08,094 --> 01:03:09,786
You gonna be good to Blanche?
1378
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,029
Blanche, you're not afraid
of witches or anything
like that?
1379
01:03:12,133 --> 01:03:13,962
Demons, chupacabras?
1380
01:03:14,273 --> 01:03:16,378
[Dawn] You can say so.
- No?
- No judgment. [laughs]
1381
01:03:16,689 --> 01:03:18,449
You're locked in.
You are locked in.
1382
01:03:18,622 --> 01:03:19,726
Bye. You guys.
1383
01:03:19,830 --> 01:03:21,625
Bye. Love you so much.
1384
01:03:21,728 --> 01:03:23,316
[Marty] The good times
are here.
1385
01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:24,559
[Tommy whines]
1386
01:03:24,662 --> 01:03:26,043
[soft music plays]
1387
01:03:29,219 --> 01:03:30,530
[Marty] Tommy, be good.
1388
01:03:30,703 --> 01:03:33,499
[Dawn] Love you so much.
- See ya!
1389
01:03:33,706 --> 01:03:35,604
[high fives, kisses]
1390
01:03:50,171 --> 01:03:52,276
[Tommy] Mom!
[hitting door]
1391
01:03:54,416 --> 01:03:56,625
Mom! Mommy!
1392
01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,008
Mommy! Mom!
1393
01:04:02,114 --> 01:04:06,359
[singing] Happy Birthday,
dear Daddy
1394
01:04:08,775 --> 01:04:13,194
[singing] Happy Birthday
to you
1395
01:04:13,332 --> 01:04:14,574
[blows]
1396
01:04:17,923 --> 01:04:20,097
[biting sounds]
1397
01:04:20,615 --> 01:04:22,513
[Marty] The monsters
are gonna be faster
than the humans.
1398
01:04:23,342 --> 01:04:24,584
[biting sounds]
1399
01:04:25,171 --> 01:04:26,379
[laughs]
1400
01:04:33,559 --> 01:04:35,354
[music fades]
1401
01:04:36,562 --> 01:04:38,150
[door opens]
[Doctor Morris] Dawn!
1402
01:04:38,253 --> 01:04:39,668
Good to see you. Been a while.
1403
01:04:39,772 --> 01:04:40,807
Yeah, you too.
1404
01:04:40,911 --> 01:04:42,050
I've been swamped.
1405
01:04:42,361 --> 01:04:44,639
Work and kids and
work and kids.
1406
01:04:44,742 --> 01:04:47,849
It was also Marty's birthday
weekend. No big deal.
1407
01:04:47,953 --> 01:04:49,989
More work, more kids.
1408
01:04:50,093 --> 01:04:55,029
But I took the day off
to sort of break it up
to be here. So, yeah.
1409
01:04:55,132 --> 01:04:57,134
I am so grateful
to have you back.
1410
01:04:57,238 --> 01:05:00,517
I'm running on fumes.
- Oh yeah, the end.
1411
01:05:00,620 --> 01:05:05,142
Yeah, so close but so far.
And it only gets worse
from here. [laughs]
1412
01:05:05,591 --> 01:05:11,424
My wife and I had a babymoon
little trip,
1413
01:05:11,562 --> 01:05:13,254
before the baby was born
to celebrate.
1414
01:05:13,461 --> 01:05:15,704
Because you don't have time
after, right?
- That's right.
1415
01:05:17,361 --> 01:05:19,053
It's the last time I had hair.
1416
01:05:20,571 --> 01:05:21,918
And truthfully, a wife.
1417
01:05:22,228 --> 01:05:23,436
Oh.
1418
01:05:23,643 --> 01:05:26,094
Oh no, she's not dead.
She just hates bald guys.
1419
01:05:26,198 --> 01:05:27,682
Tried to fix it
with these stupid plugs,
1420
01:05:27,785 --> 01:05:30,167
but now I look like
a fucking monster. [laughs]
1421
01:05:30,443 --> 01:05:35,897
No, you're wearing plugs?
I had zero clue.
1422
01:05:36,001 --> 01:05:38,486
Same. They look natural.
1423
01:05:38,589 --> 01:05:42,524
Very, like, I want to run
my finger in that.
1424
01:05:42,628 --> 01:05:46,080
Thank you. Still, a babymoon
is a good idea.
1425
01:05:46,183 --> 01:05:47,667
That is a really good idea.
I just uhm...
1426
01:05:47,771 --> 01:05:52,155
It would be so weird
and sad to go alone. [laughs]
1427
01:05:52,293 --> 01:05:53,535
I would go with you.
- What?
1428
01:05:53,639 --> 01:05:58,540
Yeah I-- I really need this--
to do for you.
1429
01:05:58,644 --> 01:06:01,543
I want to do this for you.
1430
01:06:03,856 --> 01:06:05,478
You're a good doctor.
1431
01:06:06,203 --> 01:06:08,033
[pop music plays]
1432
01:06:08,136 --> 01:06:10,207
Whoo! All right!
1433
01:06:10,690 --> 01:06:14,108
Mama's ready
to let her hair down
and take her tits out.
1434
01:06:14,211 --> 01:06:17,421
I'm free. Oh my God.
- [dance music plays]
1435
01:06:17,525 --> 01:06:20,010
Oh, my God, I haven't been
on a bridge in a while. [gags]
1436
01:06:20,114 --> 01:06:23,186
When I say baby,
you say moon, baby...
1437
01:06:23,289 --> 01:06:25,084
- Moon.
- Baby...
- Moon.
1438
01:06:25,188 --> 01:06:26,568
- Baby...
- Moon.
1439
01:06:26,741 --> 01:06:28,950
Babymoon, here we go.
1440
01:06:29,054 --> 01:06:30,469
Okay, I'm just
gonna lay back.
1441
01:06:30,572 --> 01:06:31,953
Woo!
1442
01:06:32,195 --> 01:06:33,506
[tranquil music plays]
1443
01:06:38,718 --> 01:06:39,996
[exhales]
1444
01:06:40,755 --> 01:06:42,895
[woman] Welcome, champagne?
1445
01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:44,379
[man] Hi, I'll take these.
[Dawn] Thank you.
1446
01:06:44,483 --> 01:06:48,245
- Hi. Oh, sorry, I'm pregnant.
- Okay.
1447
01:06:48,349 --> 01:06:51,421
So, do you have anything
that's non-alcoholic?
1448
01:06:51,524 --> 01:06:53,630
Yeah. Of course.
Here you go.
1449
01:06:53,733 --> 01:06:57,013
Oh, actually,
is this one of those flowers
you can eat?
1450
01:06:57,289 --> 01:07:01,155
Like, one of those fun,
edible flowers or just a...
1451
01:07:01,741 --> 01:07:04,296
big dumb flower you plopped
in the water. [chuckles]
1452
01:07:04,399 --> 01:07:05,883
I don't know,
these are just the flowers
1453
01:07:05,987 --> 01:07:08,645
we have here
in all the water.
1454
01:07:11,199 --> 01:07:12,752
Well, I'll pass.
1455
01:07:12,856 --> 01:07:14,823
Okay, of course. No problem.
1456
01:07:15,100 --> 01:07:16,584
Congrats, by the way.
1457
01:07:16,687 --> 01:07:17,826
Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
1458
01:07:18,620 --> 01:07:19,794
[folk music plays]
1459
01:07:22,452 --> 01:07:26,180
[Dawn] ...out of this world.
[Eden] Whoo!
- Okay!
1460
01:07:26,283 --> 01:07:29,148
Yes, I'm getting country,
I'm getting city.
1461
01:07:29,252 --> 01:07:31,323
I'm just feeling wealthy.
1462
01:07:32,634 --> 01:07:36,086
Oh, hey! Oh, ho!
1463
01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:41,091
Oh my God, look at this bed.
- Yes.
1464
01:07:41,195 --> 01:07:44,094
Look at you.
- So Japanese and so Feng Shui.
1465
01:07:44,198 --> 01:07:45,509
Get on here.
It's so comfortable. Try it.
1466
01:07:46,855 --> 01:07:48,167
Oh my goodness.
1467
01:07:48,271 --> 01:07:49,858
Oh, and there's free wine.
1468
01:07:49,962 --> 01:07:50,859
Ohh...
1469
01:07:50,963 --> 01:07:52,482
That is-- sounds good.
1470
01:07:52,585 --> 01:07:53,586
Okay.
1471
01:07:53,759 --> 01:07:54,898
It's a cab sauv.
1472
01:07:55,001 --> 01:07:56,555
My favorite.
- Ohh.
1473
01:07:56,969 --> 01:08:00,179
I'm gonna go wash my poon
because she is feeling dank.
1474
01:08:00,283 --> 01:08:03,251
Ohh.
- Comfy, right?
- Yes.
1475
01:08:03,424 --> 01:08:04,873
Bitch, it's a babymoon.
1476
01:08:04,977 --> 01:08:07,393
[chuckles] Whoo!
1477
01:08:09,568 --> 01:08:11,432
Ah, I don't...
1478
01:08:12,329 --> 01:08:15,367
Oh, okay. That...
that did help.
1479
01:08:15,470 --> 01:08:16,575
Okay.
1480
01:08:17,679 --> 01:08:18,473
Ah!
1481
01:08:21,787 --> 01:08:23,133
[clears throat]
1482
01:08:28,138 --> 01:08:30,175
[exhales]
1483
01:08:40,150 --> 01:08:41,669
[tranquil music plays]
1484
01:08:41,945 --> 01:08:45,466
Welcome. Dawn on this table,
other guest on this one.
1485
01:08:45,569 --> 01:08:48,054
Please undress
and get settled,
and we'll be back in a moment.
1486
01:08:48,158 --> 01:08:49,332
[Dawn] Thank you.
1487
01:08:51,782 --> 01:08:55,131
Okay. Can you lay
on your stomach, please?
1488
01:08:55,234 --> 01:08:57,340
Oh. No, I'm-- I'm pregnant.
1489
01:08:57,443 --> 01:08:58,513
Okay.
1490
01:08:58,927 --> 01:09:01,171
There is a button to click
if you are pregnant.
1491
01:09:01,275 --> 01:09:04,105
Just so we can get
a special trained person
for you.
1492
01:09:04,209 --> 01:09:05,693
Did you click it?
- I didn't book it.
1493
01:09:05,796 --> 01:09:09,110
She did. Dawn, did you click
a pregnant button?
1494
01:09:09,214 --> 01:09:13,079
[Dawn] Oh, so good already
right there.
1495
01:09:13,183 --> 01:09:15,668
[whispering] Okay, so...
what. should we do?
1496
01:09:15,772 --> 01:09:20,294
I don't know,
I've never worked
on a pregnant person before,
1497
01:09:20,397 --> 01:09:21,916
so I just don't want to do
something wrong.
1498
01:09:22,019 --> 01:09:24,988
I guess I have this fear
that I will tweak a nerve
1499
01:09:25,091 --> 01:09:28,716
of yours, and then
the blood flow gets cut off
and the baby drops dead.
1500
01:09:28,819 --> 01:09:30,096
Jesus.
1501
01:09:30,407 --> 01:09:33,410
Very dark. Yeah,
we don't want to do that.
1502
01:09:33,514 --> 01:09:35,654
I don't want to waste
your money or your time.
1503
01:09:35,757 --> 01:09:38,450
So let me just think
of something else
I could do for you, okay?
1504
01:09:40,831 --> 01:09:45,146
[Dawn moaning] Oh, yeah.
1505
01:09:45,250 --> 01:09:46,803
How about
a nice foot massage?
1506
01:09:46,941 --> 01:09:48,563
I don't think I could kill
your baby through your feet.
1507
01:09:48,667 --> 01:09:49,978
You know what?
1508
01:09:50,531 --> 01:09:53,327
A foot massage sounds good,
but could we, pump the brakes
1509
01:09:53,430 --> 01:09:55,536
on the baby killing verbiage?
1510
01:09:55,639 --> 01:09:58,642
No more of that.
Now, let's get going on
those feet, okay?
1511
01:09:59,643 --> 01:10:00,748
Okay.
1512
01:10:00,851 --> 01:10:01,887
[whimsical music plays]
1513
01:10:04,027 --> 01:10:05,511
[chuckles]
1514
01:10:06,926 --> 01:10:09,308
[Dawn] Oh, yeah.
1515
01:10:12,173 --> 01:10:13,347
So good.
1516
01:10:14,451 --> 01:10:16,108
Could you go
a little firmer?
1517
01:10:16,246 --> 01:10:19,836
It feels like a bug
is crawling on my feet.
1518
01:10:19,939 --> 01:10:22,459
I just don't want
to press too hard because...
1519
01:10:22,563 --> 01:10:24,599
Well, you don't want me
to say.
1520
01:10:24,703 --> 01:10:28,465
When you say you don't want me
to say, I know what you mean.
1521
01:10:28,569 --> 01:10:31,434
So it still kills the vibe.
1522
01:10:31,606 --> 01:10:34,816
Could you give me
any pressure, please?
1523
01:10:34,954 --> 01:10:35,852
Okay.
1524
01:10:41,892 --> 01:10:45,517
[Dawn moaning]
Oh, it's so good.
1525
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:48,830
Oh, your hands are magic.
1526
01:10:52,144 --> 01:10:53,801
[crickets chirping]
1527
01:10:54,077 --> 01:10:55,354
[music fades]
1528
01:10:55,458 --> 01:10:56,666
[silverware clinks]
1529
01:10:56,769 --> 01:11:01,015
Ooh, sorry it took so long, honey.
1530
01:11:01,153 --> 01:11:04,501
I washed my hands, like,
50 times.
The soap is so good.
1531
01:11:04,605 --> 01:11:07,297
Smell. It's a jelly.
1532
01:11:08,540 --> 01:11:10,818
Okay? I can't eat anything
right now.
1533
01:11:10,921 --> 01:11:12,060
I would eat those hands.
1534
01:11:12,233 --> 01:11:14,408
So good. I took some
to take home.
1535
01:11:14,511 --> 01:11:17,480
I was just gonna ask you
how the house is feeling now.
1536
01:11:17,583 --> 01:11:19,136
A little while in.
1537
01:11:19,758 --> 01:11:20,897
Are you guys still thinking
of making the basement
an Airbnb?
1538
01:11:21,138 --> 01:11:22,726
Ugh, the quote from the
contractor was crazy,
1539
01:11:22,830 --> 01:11:24,556
so we don't even know
if it's worth it.
1540
01:11:25,971 --> 01:11:27,869
Okay, so I-- I had an idea.
1541
01:11:27,973 --> 01:11:30,562
[waitress] Wine plate
for you.
- Thank you.
1542
01:11:30,907 --> 01:11:34,428
- Water for you,
flower on the side.
- Thank you so much.
1543
01:11:35,325 --> 01:11:37,258
Mmm. You know what? Excuse me.
1544
01:11:37,396 --> 01:11:39,260
Can I get another flight?
- Yes, ma'am.
1545
01:11:39,364 --> 01:11:41,435
Thank you. Just making
a round trip. [laughs]
1546
01:11:41,918 --> 01:11:42,953
[groans]
1547
01:11:44,196 --> 01:11:45,301
Ooh. [slurps]
1548
01:11:46,094 --> 01:11:48,407
That is delicious. Ooh.
1549
01:11:49,650 --> 01:11:50,616
[slurps]
1550
01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:52,687
Oh, it's a little buttery.
1551
01:11:53,999 --> 01:11:54,862
[slurps]
1552
01:11:55,587 --> 01:11:56,622
Ahh.
1553
01:11:56,933 --> 01:11:59,522
So, you said you had an idea.
What is it?
1554
01:12:02,663 --> 01:12:05,528
Maybe not while you're drunk.
1555
01:12:05,631 --> 01:12:09,186
It's a little more serious.
- [laughs] I'm not drunk.
1556
01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:10,843
I'm just relaxed,
I'm having fun.
1557
01:12:10,947 --> 01:12:12,086
I'm a little tipsy.
1558
01:12:12,189 --> 01:12:14,916
[sighs] Okay, okay.
1559
01:12:15,192 --> 01:12:20,128
Well, I was thinking,
what about instead
of an Airbnb,
1560
01:12:20,991 --> 01:12:26,687
me and my baby moved in.
1561
01:12:29,586 --> 01:12:34,626
Are you serious?
- Yeah I am.
1562
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:40,045
Can't you picture it?
1563
01:12:40,148 --> 01:12:44,394
You guys upstairs
and me and my baby downstairs.
1564
01:12:44,498 --> 01:12:46,707
Just around.
1565
01:12:46,879 --> 01:12:48,847
You know, we just would
never have to say goodbye.
1566
01:12:48,950 --> 01:12:53,196
We would have that casual
see you later vibes.
1567
01:12:53,783 --> 01:12:57,269
I-- just going through this,
I would love that comfort.
1568
01:12:57,373 --> 01:13:01,100
And, come on,
we always dreamed
of living like that.
1569
01:13:01,204 --> 01:13:03,275
Girl, we dreamed
about that shit
when we were 11.
1570
01:13:03,413 --> 01:13:04,656
We were children.
1571
01:13:04,759 --> 01:13:06,243
We're grown ups now, adults.
1572
01:13:06,347 --> 01:13:07,969
That's not realistic. Okay?
1573
01:13:08,073 --> 01:13:09,385
Okay.
1574
01:13:09,730 --> 01:13:11,628
But we never dreamed
at any age
1575
01:13:11,732 --> 01:13:14,528
of taking four trains
for two hours
1576
01:13:14,631 --> 01:13:19,981
to hang out for 45 minutes
where you're pretty bitchy
and not fun the whole time.
1577
01:13:22,467 --> 01:13:23,468
Can I be honest with you?
1578
01:13:28,196 --> 01:13:30,682
I am exhausted.
1579
01:13:31,165 --> 01:13:33,236
Exhausted actually doesn't
even cover it.
1580
01:13:33,339 --> 01:13:35,583
I-- I did this to myself.
1581
01:13:35,721 --> 01:13:37,343
I'm mind fucked myself.
1582
01:13:37,516 --> 01:13:39,173
Because when your first kid
gets a little older,
1583
01:13:39,449 --> 01:13:41,278
you think, "Wow,
this isn't so bad.
I could do this again."
1584
01:13:41,382 --> 01:13:44,592
And like a fucking lunatic,
you have a second child
1585
01:13:44,696 --> 01:13:46,180
thinking that shit's going
to be easier.
1586
01:13:46,283 --> 01:13:48,147
And it's not.
1587
01:13:48,320 --> 01:13:53,014
The first year
with your second child
is a special kind of hell.
1588
01:13:53,152 --> 01:13:55,534
It is vicious, relentless.
1589
01:13:55,707 --> 01:13:58,848
An endless loop
of other people's needs.
1590
01:13:59,020 --> 01:14:02,990
Which is why me
and the basement
would be chill.
1591
01:14:03,093 --> 01:14:04,785
Chill?
1592
01:14:05,510 --> 01:14:11,377
You think this would be chill?
In my already suffocating,
storm of shit fire.
1593
01:14:11,481 --> 01:14:15,381
You decided to have a baby
with a random
fucking stranger.
1594
01:14:15,485 --> 01:14:18,419
Whoa. Hurtful dude.
1595
01:14:18,523 --> 01:14:21,491
Claude really meant something
to me.
1596
01:14:21,733 --> 01:14:24,494
And I know all this
may be weird,
1597
01:14:24,598 --> 01:14:27,324
and do I wish I was normal?
1598
01:14:27,428 --> 01:14:31,328
Do I wish I could live
in boring, predictable bliss?
1599
01:14:31,432 --> 01:14:34,539
Of course I do, but I'm not.
1600
01:14:34,642 --> 01:14:38,577
I had something special
with this one person.
1601
01:14:38,681 --> 01:14:40,199
So here we are.
1602
01:14:40,303 --> 01:14:43,720
And sure, I'm scared
of the decision I made.
1603
01:14:43,824 --> 01:14:47,897
I feel, like,
a lion is chasing me scared.
1604
01:14:48,138 --> 01:14:52,591
But I know that we can handle
anything together,
1605
01:14:52,695 --> 01:14:55,145
and we wouldn't even have
to be having this conversation
1606
01:14:55,249 --> 01:14:59,805
if you didn't just up and move
to the Upper West Side
without even consulting me.
1607
01:14:59,909 --> 01:15:03,084
Oh my God, I do not
have to consult you.
1608
01:15:03,222 --> 01:15:06,605
Adults don't plan their lives
around their best friends.
1609
01:15:06,778 --> 01:15:11,714
Jesus Christ Eden,
with the 11 year old dreams
and the birth prom plan.
1610
01:15:11,817 --> 01:15:13,612
You live like a child.
1611
01:15:13,785 --> 01:15:16,512
Have you even started
to prep baby stuff
in your house?
1612
01:15:16,615 --> 01:15:18,479
Or are you just waiting for me
to do it?
1613
01:15:18,652 --> 01:15:20,274
No, you know what
you're waiting for?
1614
01:15:20,377 --> 01:15:23,242
You want to move into my house
and mooch off of my family?
1615
01:15:23,346 --> 01:15:24,589
Fuck you.
1616
01:15:24,968 --> 01:15:27,626
Best friends
are so fucked over
in adulthood.
1617
01:15:27,730 --> 01:15:30,733
If we don't
couple ourselves off,
we are fucked.
1618
01:15:30,871 --> 01:15:32,907
Not everybody's made up
like that.
1619
01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:35,013
I've known you twice as long
as Marty.
1620
01:15:35,116 --> 01:15:38,913
And a lifetime longer
than Tommy
and Melanie's brand new ass.
1621
01:15:39,017 --> 01:15:41,606
What? Just because
we're not blood related,
we're not family?
1622
01:15:41,778 --> 01:15:45,886
That's bullshit.
You and me, we're family.
1623
01:15:48,302 --> 01:15:49,648
[crickets chirping]
1624
01:15:52,271 --> 01:15:53,618
We're family.
1625
01:15:55,999 --> 01:15:57,311
I have a family.
1626
01:16:00,486 --> 01:16:01,971
[somber music plays]
1627
01:16:02,074 --> 01:16:04,974
Listen. And I say this
for your own good.
1628
01:16:05,181 --> 01:16:11,463
Rather than living together
and becoming too reliant
on each other,
1629
01:16:11,739 --> 01:16:15,294
I think it's good for us
to take some space,
gain our independence.
1630
01:16:15,398 --> 01:16:19,505
We can just focus
on our families.
1631
01:16:19,609 --> 01:16:22,267
I can focus on mine,
you can focus on yours.
1632
01:16:26,651 --> 01:16:29,101
I really do think
this will be for the best.
1633
01:16:30,965 --> 01:16:33,174
Yeah, I think
it will be fucking great.
1634
01:16:38,214 --> 01:16:39,387
[music fades]
1635
01:16:40,078 --> 01:16:41,113
[car hums]
1636
01:16:53,954 --> 01:16:54,851
[exhales]
1637
01:16:55,783 --> 01:16:57,405
[machine whirring]
1638
01:16:58,821 --> 01:17:00,167
[mellow music plays]
1639
01:17:02,134 --> 01:17:03,377
Marty?
1640
01:17:04,861 --> 01:17:06,345
Marty? [coughs]
1641
01:17:07,553 --> 01:17:08,762
[Marty] We're in the kitchen.
1642
01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:14,422
[coughs]
1643
01:17:16,252 --> 01:17:17,425
What was that?
1644
01:17:17,598 --> 01:17:19,013
What is going on?
1645
01:17:19,704 --> 01:17:21,464
What is that smell?
1646
01:17:21,809 --> 01:17:24,398
I tried to get Tommy
on the potty again.
1647
01:17:24,501 --> 01:17:28,851
We flushed, and then the pipes
backed up
and everything exploded.
1648
01:17:29,506 --> 01:17:30,715
[music fades]
1649
01:17:30,922 --> 01:17:32,855
Tommy's never getting back
on the potty.
1650
01:17:34,201 --> 01:17:35,305
Neither will I.
1651
01:17:35,409 --> 01:17:36,686
[plastic rustles]
1652
01:17:37,722 --> 01:17:39,931
So, I figured out
what happened.
1653
01:17:40,345 --> 01:17:42,416
There was a clog
in an old original pipe.
1654
01:17:42,519 --> 01:17:45,384
I'm talking about
a 200 year old clog here.
1655
01:17:45,488 --> 01:17:50,148
Centuries of new shit
just piling up on old shit
and just pushing that shit.
1656
01:17:50,251 --> 01:17:52,737
Almost like new shit
was shitting out
the old shit.
1657
01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:55,705
And I mean, like,
Revolutionary War dook, man.
1658
01:17:55,809 --> 01:17:58,052
It's like New Amsterdam,
Arakaka.
1659
01:17:58,190 --> 01:17:59,847
And suddenly it all went pop!
1660
01:18:00,365 --> 01:18:01,918
[gags]
1661
01:18:02,643 --> 01:18:04,369
That's the nightmare
we're all smelling up
our noses right now.
1662
01:18:04,576 --> 01:18:05,681
We see it all the time.
1663
01:18:05,784 --> 01:18:07,096
You see this all the time?
1664
01:18:07,199 --> 01:18:10,755
Our home
is a functional sewer.
1665
01:18:10,858 --> 01:18:12,584
In New York, constantly.
1666
01:18:12,929 --> 01:18:14,724
There's a brownstone joke
there to make.
1667
01:18:14,931 --> 01:18:16,864
Some plumbers do,
but I don't.
1668
01:18:17,037 --> 01:18:20,903
I've given my whole
fucking life
to fighting stench.
1669
01:18:21,006 --> 01:18:23,526
Okay. Thank you
for your service.
1670
01:18:23,802 --> 01:18:25,597
Can you please not touch that?
- Nice counter.
1671
01:18:25,701 --> 01:18:26,978
[pipes glug]
1672
01:18:30,982 --> 01:18:32,466
[muffled] Oh my God.
1673
01:18:33,674 --> 01:18:34,848
[coughs]
1674
01:18:37,713 --> 01:18:40,060
Oh, my-- [retches]
1675
01:18:42,648 --> 01:18:45,203
[Marty] Okay.
I'll be right there.
Thank you.
1676
01:18:45,306 --> 01:18:46,514
[stairs creak]
1677
01:18:48,516 --> 01:18:51,002
Whoa! You okay?
1678
01:18:52,210 --> 01:18:54,419
Okay, am I okay?
1679
01:18:54,522 --> 01:18:57,733
Our house oozes of civil war,
racist dumps.
1680
01:18:57,836 --> 01:19:00,114
It smells like
Thomas Jefferson's colon,
1681
01:19:00,218 --> 01:19:02,530
A-- and you want to know
if I'm okay?
1682
01:19:02,634 --> 01:19:04,118
No, I'm not okay. All right?
1683
01:19:04,222 --> 01:19:06,258
I just can't take it anymore.
1684
01:19:06,534 --> 01:19:08,157
What can't you take?
- It!
1685
01:19:09,330 --> 01:19:10,642
What is it?
1686
01:19:10,780 --> 01:19:12,851
I don't know what it is.
1687
01:19:12,955 --> 01:19:16,924
And that's part
of the problem too.
I can't pinpoint what it is.
1688
01:19:17,028 --> 01:19:20,134
I just know
that I can't take it.
1689
01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:26,900
I just feel like I have it all
and nothing at once.
1690
01:19:27,003 --> 01:19:29,557
I couldn't wait
to get back to work,
1691
01:19:29,661 --> 01:19:31,145
but then at work,
I missed the kids
1692
01:19:31,456 --> 01:19:33,078
and I feel like a bad parent
because I'm not with them.
1693
01:19:33,354 --> 01:19:35,322
And when I'm home,
I don't want
to fucking be here.
1694
01:19:35,425 --> 01:19:37,807
I want to be motherfucking
free and...
1695
01:19:39,913 --> 01:19:42,881
And I'm-- I'm sorry.
1696
01:19:43,330 --> 01:19:46,091
I'm sorry for being
in such a bad mood
all the time.
1697
01:19:47,955 --> 01:19:49,646
You're doing so good.
1698
01:19:49,750 --> 01:19:52,926
Just trying to hold it
together for me
1699
01:19:53,029 --> 01:19:55,998
and the kids, and always
in a good mood,
1700
01:19:56,101 --> 01:20:00,899
and always cleaning
and never complaining
about all the shitty diapers.
1701
01:20:01,003 --> 01:20:04,420
So... I just want to say
thank you for that.
1702
01:20:04,523 --> 01:20:06,249
I'm sorry I'm such a bummer.
1703
01:20:07,388 --> 01:20:08,389
[sighs]
1704
01:20:08,838 --> 01:20:09,943
It's okay.
1705
01:20:11,841 --> 01:20:13,153
I understand.
1706
01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:15,811
You do?
1707
01:20:16,087 --> 01:20:18,123
You know sometimes
when I'm alone,
1708
01:20:19,228 --> 01:20:23,059
I'll just scream
for three or four seconds.
1709
01:20:23,577 --> 01:20:24,543
And it helps.
1710
01:20:26,200 --> 01:20:29,203
I don't know what it helps,
but it helps.
1711
01:20:29,997 --> 01:20:31,861
It's so weird because...
1712
01:20:33,656 --> 01:20:35,002
I hate work.
1713
01:20:36,210 --> 01:20:39,144
But I can't be home all day.
And then I feel guilty,
1714
01:20:39,248 --> 01:20:41,733
and I'm with the kids
and I love the kids,
1715
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:43,562
but they're fucking
exhausting.
1716
01:20:43,666 --> 01:20:47,083
And then I go back to work
and nobody gives a fuck.
1717
01:20:48,636 --> 01:20:52,640
Best case scenario,
I work my entire life.
1718
01:20:53,227 --> 01:20:57,335
And then I die
while the kids are healthy
and happy.
1719
01:20:59,924 --> 01:21:01,132
That's the pinnacle.
1720
01:21:03,099 --> 01:21:07,172
Death followed by mild relief.
1721
01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:11,314
We are so fucked.
1722
01:21:16,319 --> 01:21:18,874
I am so glad
to be so fucking fucked
with you though.
1723
01:21:19,805 --> 01:21:21,324
[emotional music plays]
1724
01:21:23,982 --> 01:21:25,294
[moaning]
1725
01:21:28,849 --> 01:21:30,230
[Marty] Come on.
1726
01:21:33,267 --> 01:21:34,337
Wait.
1727
01:21:34,544 --> 01:21:35,649
Throw this on the floor.
1728
01:21:35,994 --> 01:21:36,961
- Take this off.
- Okay, let's do it.
1729
01:21:37,064 --> 01:21:38,514
Okay, I'm gonna take it off.
1730
01:21:38,617 --> 01:21:39,653
[door buzzes]
1731
01:21:39,756 --> 01:21:41,517
[Eden singing]
1732
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,934
Threw me for a loop,
my packages.
1733
01:21:45,072 --> 01:21:47,247
[jolly music plays]
1734
01:21:47,488 --> 01:21:48,420
[box cracks]
1735
01:21:49,249 --> 01:21:50,146
Okay.
1736
01:21:51,561 --> 01:21:54,116
This is what all that...
1737
01:21:54,461 --> 01:21:56,359
practice is for.
- [phone vibrates]
1738
01:21:57,395 --> 01:21:58,499
Okay, guys.
1739
01:22:01,330 --> 01:22:02,158
[sighs]
1740
01:22:03,401 --> 01:22:05,610
Don't have to do
total no talking.
1741
01:22:07,301 --> 01:22:10,580
Pretty normal,
successful bitch.
1742
01:22:10,684 --> 01:22:11,685
I love her so much.
1743
01:22:12,410 --> 01:22:13,721
Okay, guys.
1744
01:22:13,859 --> 01:22:15,689
I'm gonna have
to make some cuts.
1745
01:22:15,792 --> 01:22:19,555
Pineapple, milk, gherkins.
You guys are too heavy.
1746
01:22:19,658 --> 01:22:21,315
Little prime, I'll be back.
1747
01:22:21,419 --> 01:22:23,593
Ooh-ee.
1748
01:22:24,284 --> 01:22:25,319
Okay.
1749
01:22:25,595 --> 01:22:29,668
No more. I can't be pregnant
anymore.
1750
01:22:29,772 --> 01:22:31,567
How do we finish this, please?
1751
01:22:31,670 --> 01:22:34,466
Well, technically,
at 37 weeks,
you are at full term.
1752
01:22:34,570 --> 01:22:38,884
But the due date is 40,
and New York State
allows 42.
1753
01:22:38,988 --> 01:22:40,956
42 weeks?
1754
01:22:41,059 --> 01:22:44,407
That's almost a year.
That is bullshit.
1755
01:22:44,511 --> 01:22:46,409
Can we do anything
to speed this up?
1756
01:22:46,513 --> 01:22:50,241
C-section, induction
and also a membrane sweep.
1757
01:22:50,344 --> 01:22:52,208
But that's not medically
sound for you.
1758
01:22:52,312 --> 01:22:55,591
Can I eat more fiber?
- A baby is not
a bowel movement,
1759
01:22:55,694 --> 01:23:00,113
so no. There are other things
that people say might help.
1760
01:23:00,216 --> 01:23:01,390
They may not be
medically sound,
1761
01:23:01,493 --> 01:23:02,839
but if you're
really desperate.
1762
01:23:02,943 --> 01:23:04,703
Yeah, I'm-- I'm desperate.
1763
01:23:05,083 --> 01:23:08,673
Stimulating the nipples,
that releases oxytocin,
contracts the uterus.
1764
01:23:08,811 --> 01:23:11,296
So is it me?
Does it have
to be somebody else?
1765
01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:15,266
Well, you can always ask
someone to do it.
Sex, they say, helps.
1766
01:23:15,369 --> 01:23:18,510
I don't know,
maybe it's the gyration,
possibly the orgasms.
1767
01:23:18,614 --> 01:23:21,513
Great. Know anybody who likes
somebody almost about
to give birth?
1768
01:23:21,617 --> 01:23:24,758
Castor oil, they say
might help, one or two
tablespoons daily.
1769
01:23:24,861 --> 01:23:27,726
In my pussy?
- No, no, you drink it.
1770
01:23:27,899 --> 01:23:29,211
Oh, got you.
1771
01:23:29,521 --> 01:23:33,215
Uh, dates, pineapple,
red raspberry leaf tea.
1772
01:23:33,318 --> 01:23:36,666
Also oral, or is that..?
- All of it is oral.
1773
01:23:36,770 --> 01:23:39,152
I just want to do whatever
is going to get the baby out.
1774
01:23:39,255 --> 01:23:42,638
Well, a red raspberry tea
douche will not do it.
1775
01:23:42,810 --> 01:23:48,264
Gotcha. All oral,
lest we forget. [chuckles]
1776
01:23:49,783 --> 01:23:52,475
Hi, honey. I got great news.
1777
01:23:52,579 --> 01:23:55,064
The other good looking
dentist they got for the gig.
1778
01:23:55,168 --> 01:23:57,411
He's indeed a serial killer.
1779
01:23:57,515 --> 01:24:00,311
- Oh.
- But this is good news
for you. They called.
1780
01:24:00,414 --> 01:24:03,762
They want you.
- Oh, my God, they want me.
1781
01:24:03,866 --> 01:24:05,868
But you're going to have
to fly out tomorrow
1782
01:24:05,971 --> 01:24:08,008
to San Francisco
to do the filming.
1783
01:24:08,181 --> 01:24:09,423
[machine whirring]
1784
01:24:10,528 --> 01:24:11,391
[water splashes]
1785
01:24:11,494 --> 01:24:12,323
Ahh.
1786
01:24:13,910 --> 01:24:15,326
[cat meows]
1787
01:24:15,429 --> 01:24:16,465
[laughs]
1788
01:24:19,985 --> 01:24:21,677
[duck ringtone plays]
1789
01:24:29,029 --> 01:24:30,272
[phone chimes]
1790
01:24:30,513 --> 01:24:33,723
Oh, hey.
- Hi. You picked up.
1791
01:24:33,827 --> 01:24:35,173
Yeah. Sorry.
1792
01:24:35,277 --> 01:24:38,038
I've been, pretty busy.
1793
01:24:38,142 --> 01:24:40,075
Okay. Sure.
Yeah, I get it.
1794
01:24:40,178 --> 01:24:44,665
Are you on an airplane?
- I am, I got
the Invisalign campaign.
1795
01:24:44,769 --> 01:24:46,081
They're sending me out
to shoot it.
1796
01:24:46,184 --> 01:24:49,946
Oh my God, yes.
That's great.
1797
01:24:50,119 --> 01:24:54,503
Does that help for the money
with the uh...
with the shit pipe repairs?
1798
01:24:54,606 --> 01:24:56,056
I wish.
1799
01:24:56,160 --> 01:24:58,507
Our place is damn near
condemnable.
1800
01:24:58,610 --> 01:25:01,958
We're basically holding back
our next flood
with a piece of duct tape.
1801
01:25:02,062 --> 01:25:04,133
We're just gonna have
to move all together,
you know?
1802
01:25:04,237 --> 01:25:06,273
We're looking for a place,
maybe in the suburbs.
1803
01:25:07,102 --> 01:25:09,794
That's amazing.
1804
01:25:10,243 --> 01:25:15,075
Okay, you can't even
not wince at me just saying,
1805
01:25:15,179 --> 01:25:17,008
"Looking at a place
in the suburbs."
1806
01:25:17,491 --> 01:25:22,876
It's partly that, but also,
my stomach's been cramping
like crazy for hours.
1807
01:25:22,979 --> 01:25:25,672
Are you having contractions?
- I don't think so.
1808
01:25:25,775 --> 01:25:28,882
I called Doctor Morris
a couple times yesterday,
and they weren't.
1809
01:25:28,985 --> 01:25:34,059
And these are weaker
than yesterday, so we'll see.
I'm ready.
1810
01:25:34,163 --> 01:25:36,786
Mh-hm. I totally get it.
With Tommy, I just drank
1811
01:25:36,890 --> 01:25:39,272
a bunch of castor oil
to, like, push it along.
1812
01:25:39,444 --> 01:25:41,515
Dude, I chugged it.
1813
01:25:41,619 --> 01:25:44,104
But I think I want some
chocolate almond milk
right now.
1814
01:25:44,208 --> 01:25:45,485
I'll BRB.
1815
01:25:45,657 --> 01:25:47,349
Apologies, you might
get flashed.
1816
01:25:49,005 --> 01:25:50,697
Oh, okay.
1817
01:25:51,318 --> 01:25:52,630
Eden.
- What?
1818
01:25:52,733 --> 01:25:53,976
Bend over.
1819
01:25:54,114 --> 01:25:55,978
Perv.
- Just do it, bend over.
1820
01:25:56,081 --> 01:26:01,156
Yo, your pussy
is very fucking open.
How long you been hurting?
1821
01:26:01,259 --> 01:26:04,020
Hours, but I'm really
feeling it now
1822
01:26:04,124 --> 01:26:05,988
that I'm letting myself
feel it.
1823
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,542
You need to go now.
Call the hospital.
1824
01:26:08,646 --> 01:26:10,234
Oh my God. What?
1825
01:26:10,786 --> 01:26:12,201
[flight attendant]
Phones off.
The cabin is closed.
1826
01:26:12,650 --> 01:26:14,859
Ma'am, I'm going to need you
to turn your phone off.
1827
01:26:14,962 --> 01:26:16,585
Ma'am.
- I'm so sorry, okay?
1828
01:26:16,757 --> 01:26:19,277
This is so rude,
but I'm literally.
being yelled at.
1829
01:26:19,381 --> 01:26:21,486
Go to the hospital now.
Goodbye, I love you.
1830
01:26:21,659 --> 01:26:22,867
[plane hums]
1831
01:26:23,039 --> 01:26:26,319
Oh, God. Dragana!
1832
01:26:29,114 --> 01:26:30,806
[flight announcement]
1833
01:26:33,395 --> 01:26:34,430
['80s pop music plays]
1834
01:26:34,603 --> 01:26:35,983
[exhales] Where's the Lyft?
1835
01:26:36,087 --> 01:26:38,262
Almost here. Was surge.
1836
01:26:38,365 --> 01:26:40,919
Why kept canceling.
1837
01:26:41,126 --> 01:26:43,232
If shit hits fan,
I have many times
1838
01:26:43,336 --> 01:26:45,993
to reach in
and pull out the baby.
1839
01:26:46,442 --> 01:26:48,375
Let's hope it doesn't come
to that.
1840
01:26:48,720 --> 01:26:51,620
I don't enjoy it, but I do it.
1841
01:26:52,414 --> 01:26:53,932
[emotional music plays]
1842
01:26:54,692 --> 01:26:55,831
[cars honking]
1843
01:26:55,934 --> 01:26:57,281
You go ahead.
1844
01:27:00,387 --> 01:27:01,664
[car honking]
1845
01:27:06,048 --> 01:27:08,223
Let's go my little MILF to be.
1846
01:27:09,120 --> 01:27:10,363
[laughs]
1847
01:27:18,888 --> 01:27:23,790
No, wait, actually, I--
I forgot you suck.
I'm taking a Lyft.
1848
01:27:24,169 --> 01:27:26,379
Come on, Eden,
I'm not missing this.
1849
01:27:29,347 --> 01:27:31,349
Admit you were
a legit asshole
1850
01:27:31,453 --> 01:27:33,109
about me
and Claude's connection.
1851
01:27:33,248 --> 01:27:36,872
I was a legit asshole
about you and Claude's
connection.
1852
01:27:38,322 --> 01:27:39,357
[sighs]
1853
01:27:39,495 --> 01:27:41,635
Admit you and me are family.
1854
01:27:44,983 --> 01:27:45,915
We're family.
1855
01:27:49,367 --> 01:27:50,368
[sighs]
1856
01:27:51,438 --> 01:27:53,578
I am so sorry.
1857
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:55,304
[sighs]
1858
01:27:56,995 --> 01:27:57,927
Okay.
1859
01:27:59,446 --> 01:28:00,827
I'm sorry too.
1860
01:28:02,656 --> 01:28:08,421
I took advantage of how much
you can hold,
and I piled it on.
1861
01:28:10,319 --> 01:28:11,769
I know I'm a lot.
1862
01:28:13,943 --> 01:28:15,393
[music continues]
1863
01:28:27,543 --> 01:28:29,442
[music swells]
1864
01:28:41,730 --> 01:28:44,008
Dragana, we're riding
with this bitch.
1865
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:45,768
[uplifting music plays]
1866
01:28:47,770 --> 01:28:50,601
[Dawn] Just keep breathing.
Keep breathing.
1867
01:28:51,878 --> 01:28:53,431
[traffic hums]
1868
01:28:56,054 --> 01:28:57,090
[grunts]
1869
01:29:02,129 --> 01:29:03,476
[brakes squeak]
1870
01:29:04,684 --> 01:29:06,099
[Dawn] Here we go.
1871
01:29:06,202 --> 01:29:07,514
Here we go!
1872
01:29:12,450 --> 01:29:13,762
[Eden] Yep, yep.
1873
01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:19,457
[pants]
1874
01:29:22,391 --> 01:29:23,461
My streamers.
1875
01:29:23,910 --> 01:29:24,704
[groans]
1876
01:29:26,982 --> 01:29:29,467
Oh, sorry.
Forgot you, baby girl.
1877
01:29:29,881 --> 01:29:32,021
Let's go have a baby.
[laughing]
1878
01:29:32,677 --> 01:29:34,541
[inhales] Breathe.
1879
01:29:34,748 --> 01:29:37,889
[music fades]
- Five, four, three, two, one!
1880
01:29:37,993 --> 01:29:39,270
[yells]
1881
01:29:39,684 --> 01:29:41,306
This position isn't helping.
Let's turn her over.
1882
01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:42,756
Hands and feet,
hands and feet.
1883
01:29:43,032 --> 01:29:44,586
[Eden] Okay,
what's happening?
1884
01:29:45,276 --> 01:29:47,071
Why am I in doggy style?
I don't wanna doggy style
with my baby.
1885
01:29:47,174 --> 01:29:50,143
This is a common birth
position.
Can you move down?
1886
01:29:50,246 --> 01:29:51,903
No, I'm up here!
1887
01:29:53,388 --> 01:29:55,079
Okay, I'll come to you.
- Okay.
1888
01:29:55,182 --> 01:29:57,219
We'll do it right here.
Here comes another one.
1889
01:29:57,564 --> 01:30:00,429
Here comes another one.
Good, good, good, good,
good, good, good.
1890
01:30:00,533 --> 01:30:02,638
Push, push, push, push.
Push, push, push!
1891
01:30:02,742 --> 01:30:04,985
I'm doggy style with my baby,
I feel weird about it.
1892
01:30:05,089 --> 01:30:06,608
Push this last one. Push.
1893
01:30:06,711 --> 01:30:07,954
I see the head, push!
1894
01:30:08,057 --> 01:30:10,301
[Eden] Okay, I think.
I have to shit.
1895
01:30:10,405 --> 01:30:11,820
I don't want to shit
on my baby like Dawn.
1896
01:30:11,923 --> 01:30:14,512
Dude it was disgusting
what you did.
- Okay.
1897
01:30:14,685 --> 01:30:16,203
Keep pushing.
[Doctor Morris] Last push.
1898
01:30:16,307 --> 01:30:18,102
Good, good, good.
1899
01:30:18,274 --> 01:30:20,207
There we are,
there we are, there we are!
1900
01:30:20,311 --> 01:30:21,450
[yells]
1901
01:30:22,693 --> 01:30:24,867
- [baby crying]
- Perfect, perfect.
1902
01:30:25,074 --> 01:30:27,387
[gasping]
- You did it!
1903
01:30:27,491 --> 01:30:29,078
- [laughs]
- You did it.
1904
01:30:29,769 --> 01:30:30,735
I did it.
1905
01:30:31,046 --> 01:30:32,668
Okay, we're gonna
cut the cord now.
1906
01:30:32,772 --> 01:30:34,843
No, no, no, I want
Dawn to cut the cord.
1907
01:30:35,153 --> 01:30:38,467
- Okay.
- I would be--
I would be honored.
1908
01:30:38,571 --> 01:30:39,606
Obviously.
1909
01:30:41,677 --> 01:30:43,955
There you are. Right there.
[baby crying]
1910
01:30:44,508 --> 01:30:45,957
[sobs]
1911
01:30:46,061 --> 01:30:47,511
[laughing]
1912
01:30:48,373 --> 01:30:49,513
Okay.
1913
01:30:52,930 --> 01:30:54,587
Oh my God.
1914
01:30:54,863 --> 01:30:58,418
Oh my God. My baby had a baby.
- [laughs]
1915
01:30:58,522 --> 01:31:01,076
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.
1916
01:31:01,352 --> 01:31:03,043
[baby crying continues]
1917
01:31:03,354 --> 01:31:08,359
Thank you for being here.
- Where the fuck else
would I be?
1918
01:31:08,704 --> 01:31:11,017
[nurse] Okay,
just a few more pushes.
1919
01:31:11,293 --> 01:31:12,846
Is there another one
in there?
1920
01:31:13,019 --> 01:31:14,123
It's the placenta.
1921
01:31:15,470 --> 01:31:16,885
They don't tell you
about this part.
1922
01:31:16,988 --> 01:31:18,542
[Dragana] I'll take placenta.
1923
01:31:19,197 --> 01:31:20,578
It makes smoothies.
1924
01:31:20,682 --> 01:31:23,374
Okay. That's a choice.
Here we go.
1925
01:31:23,650 --> 01:31:25,687
This is just ridiculous.
1926
01:31:27,482 --> 01:31:28,690
[exhales]
- [nurse] Great.
1927
01:31:29,484 --> 01:31:31,140
Oh, God. That's wild.
1928
01:31:31,244 --> 01:31:33,798
Smells good, doesn't it?
- Oh, God. [laughs]
1929
01:31:34,730 --> 01:31:36,594
Shut up! [laughs]
1930
01:31:37,388 --> 01:31:38,838
Okay.
1931
01:31:38,941 --> 01:31:39,873
[baby crying]
1932
01:31:40,771 --> 01:31:42,600
Yeah, man. Give me my boy.
1933
01:31:42,773 --> 01:31:45,914
I didn't want to rain
on your maternal instincts.
1934
01:31:46,017 --> 01:31:49,952
But, it's a girl.
It's always been a girl.
1935
01:31:50,056 --> 01:31:51,506
[John Lennon, Yoko Ono
- Remember Love plays]
1936
01:31:51,609 --> 01:31:53,956
I had two pussies?
- Mh-hm.
1937
01:31:54,578 --> 01:31:55,648
[laughs]
1938
01:31:57,926 --> 01:31:58,961
Holy shit.
1939
01:31:59,065 --> 01:32:02,724
This is crazy.
This is fucking crazy.
1940
01:32:03,241 --> 01:32:04,484
[sniffles]
1941
01:32:04,864 --> 01:32:07,245
How are we not talking
about this all the time?
1942
01:32:07,349 --> 01:32:12,250
We grow bodies inside
of our bodies.
What the fuck?
1943
01:32:12,665 --> 01:32:16,392
This person just came out
of my vagina. [laughs]
1944
01:32:16,669 --> 01:32:18,602
[sniffles]
This is all the hot news
1945
01:32:18,705 --> 01:32:21,121
anchors should be covering
twenty-four seven.
1946
01:32:21,294 --> 01:32:23,710
People coming out of pussies.
1947
01:32:23,848 --> 01:32:27,990
Every day for thousands
and thousands of years.
1948
01:32:28,577 --> 01:32:30,268
What the fuck?
1949
01:32:32,443 --> 01:32:33,720
[laughs]
1950
01:32:33,824 --> 01:32:35,377
You're so beautiful.
1951
01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:37,310
You're so beautiful.
1952
01:32:37,586 --> 01:32:40,244
What? What?
[laughs]
1953
01:32:40,416 --> 01:32:42,280
[music covers talking]
1954
01:33:03,163 --> 01:33:04,889
[music fades]
1955
01:33:05,131 --> 01:33:08,513
- [baby crying]
- [midwife] Congrats!
Congrats!
1956
01:33:08,617 --> 01:33:09,860
You're ready to go home.
1957
01:33:09,963 --> 01:33:11,896
No, no, I'm not ready.
- Yes, you are.
1958
01:33:12,000 --> 01:33:14,105
You can do it.
And we need the bed.
1959
01:33:14,209 --> 01:33:16,245
But before you go,
a few parting gifts,
1960
01:33:16,349 --> 01:33:19,214
some extra diapers
for her and some for you.
1961
01:33:19,317 --> 01:33:22,182
Oh, good. I dropped a deuce
a little while ago,
so thank you.
1962
01:33:22,355 --> 01:33:24,460
You're not supposed to poop
in your diaper.
1963
01:33:24,564 --> 01:33:26,221
It's for blood. Get that off.
1964
01:33:26,324 --> 01:33:29,396
See? I'm not ready.
I'm shitting myself wrongly.
1965
01:33:29,500 --> 01:33:31,226
Shh.
- [baby crying]
1966
01:33:31,502 --> 01:33:33,366
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
1967
01:33:35,851 --> 01:33:37,991
[softly] Thank you guys
so much.
1968
01:33:38,095 --> 01:33:39,579
Really, really...
1969
01:33:39,683 --> 01:33:41,236
[traffic hums]
1970
01:33:45,516 --> 01:33:47,380
Mm-mm-mm.
1971
01:33:47,552 --> 01:33:48,968
[sirens wail]
1972
01:33:52,005 --> 01:33:53,179
[grunts]
1973
01:33:54,214 --> 01:33:55,526
Hey.
1974
01:33:55,837 --> 01:33:58,425
Yes. Please yes.
Please yes. Please. Yes.
1975
01:33:58,529 --> 01:34:00,876
Oh, yes.
Thank you so much.
1976
01:34:01,049 --> 01:34:04,569
Thank you so much.
[exhales] Okay. Okay.
1977
01:34:04,673 --> 01:34:05,501
[gentle music plays]
1978
01:34:05,605 --> 01:34:07,262
Thank you so much.
1979
01:34:10,127 --> 01:34:11,059
Okay.
1980
01:34:12,716 --> 01:34:14,372
[grunts] Oh, God.
1981
01:34:17,375 --> 01:34:18,273
[seatbelt clicks]
1982
01:34:26,695 --> 01:34:28,352
Okay, just one second.
1983
01:34:29,698 --> 01:34:30,975
Astoria, please.
1984
01:34:31,838 --> 01:34:33,357
[tires squeal]
1985
01:34:33,460 --> 01:34:34,530
[horns blare]
[music stops]
1986
01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:35,808
[baby crying]
1987
01:34:36,187 --> 01:34:37,326
I'll fucking kill you!
- I'll fucking kill you!
1988
01:34:37,430 --> 01:34:38,949
I'll fucking kill you both!
1989
01:34:40,847 --> 01:34:44,437
Okay. It's okay. Oh, fuck.
1990
01:34:45,369 --> 01:34:46,819
[music resumes]
1991
01:34:47,716 --> 01:34:49,753
Welcome home, Claudette.
1992
01:34:53,411 --> 01:34:54,758
All right.
1993
01:34:54,861 --> 01:34:58,209
Welcome home, Claudette.
1994
01:34:59,728 --> 01:35:01,903
Okay. Wow.
1995
01:35:02,869 --> 01:35:04,975
This is where we live.
1996
01:35:07,460 --> 01:35:11,671
You're gonna have sleep overs
in here. Because we're
gonna share the bedroom.
1997
01:35:11,947 --> 01:35:13,949
This is where
you're gonna sleep.
1998
01:35:14,053 --> 01:35:17,781
All right, we got this.
We got this, baby.
We got this.
1999
01:35:19,472 --> 01:35:21,129
Oh, yeah.
2000
01:35:21,405 --> 01:35:23,510
[Dad on phone] I love you,
Claudette.
2001
01:35:23,821 --> 01:35:24,960
[blows kiss]
2002
01:35:29,068 --> 01:35:32,657
[Marty] Ready buddy?
[Eden] Hey Little sleepy
girl.
2003
01:35:32,761 --> 01:35:34,073
It's gonna be great.
2004
01:35:34,211 --> 01:35:35,730
[subway rattles]
2005
01:35:36,109 --> 01:35:37,455
[Eden] Hi! [laughs]
[Marty] Hey.
2006
01:35:37,559 --> 01:35:38,974
Oh my God.
2007
01:35:39,078 --> 01:35:41,149
Thank you guys for coming
to us.
2008
01:35:41,321 --> 01:35:43,876
Of course, whoever has
the youngest
we do the commuting for,
2009
01:35:43,979 --> 01:35:45,774
it's only fair.
- Oh, I love that rule.
2010
01:35:45,912 --> 01:35:48,018
Well, that's why I
got the tickets, so.
Let's go.
2011
01:35:48,121 --> 01:35:49,364
Oh, nice.
[Marty] Let's do this.
2012
01:35:49,674 --> 01:35:50,779
Yeah, I can't wait.
You got it?
2013
01:35:50,952 --> 01:35:52,505
Yep, I got you.
[Marty] You ready?
2014
01:35:52,677 --> 01:35:53,955
[Tommy]
Yeah.
- All right.
2015
01:35:55,301 --> 01:35:57,648
[yells in film]
[gunshot in film]
2016
01:35:57,752 --> 01:35:59,236
[male in film] Fuck you,
motherfucker
2017
01:35:59,443 --> 01:36:00,927
[male 2 in film] Eat shit
and die, motherfucker!
2018
01:36:01,031 --> 01:36:01,997
[gunshot in film]
[screams in film]
2019
01:36:02,101 --> 01:36:02,998
[accordion music plays]
2020
01:36:03,102 --> 01:36:04,724
You see any of that shit?
2021
01:36:04,931 --> 01:36:06,933
- No.
- So you're not going
to fucking talk?
2022
01:36:07,037 --> 01:36:08,038
No.
2023
01:36:08,693 --> 01:36:11,386
Fuckin' cater waiter.
2024
01:36:11,489 --> 01:36:16,529
Jesus Christ!
Just get in the fucking car!
Jesus.
2025
01:36:16,874 --> 01:36:18,531
Claudette, that's your daddy.
2026
01:36:18,669 --> 01:36:20,844
[sirens, yelling in film]
2027
01:36:21,154 --> 01:36:23,605
There he is,
that's your daddy.
2028
01:36:23,743 --> 01:36:25,055
[male in film] Eat led,
cocksucker!
2029
01:36:25,158 --> 01:36:26,850
[gunshots, tires squealing
in film]
2030
01:36:27,264 --> 01:36:31,233
Sorry, that movie
was completely inappropriate
for children.
2031
01:36:31,337 --> 01:36:33,580
- I just-- I just wanted
to see him.
- It's fine.
2032
01:36:33,684 --> 01:36:34,996
It was fun. It was good.
2033
01:36:35,168 --> 01:36:36,514
[laughs]
- [gentle music plays]
2034
01:36:37,446 --> 01:36:41,243
[Tommy] Can we still
see movies with Eden
at the new house?
2035
01:36:41,347 --> 01:36:43,211
[Dawn] Yeah, of course
you can, Tommy.
2036
01:36:44,005 --> 01:36:45,558
You guys found a house?
2037
01:36:45,834 --> 01:36:47,974
Yeah. I mean, it just happened
this morning.
2038
01:36:48,078 --> 01:36:51,495
Our offer was accepted,
so it's happening real fast.
2039
01:36:51,598 --> 01:36:53,738
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
2040
01:36:53,911 --> 01:36:58,122
So, which 'burb
have you dorks selected?
2041
01:37:01,125 --> 01:37:02,609
You didn't tell her?
2042
01:37:02,920 --> 01:37:06,890
No, I didn't tell her.
I've just...
2043
01:37:07,269 --> 01:37:10,859
Been busy. Like, I mean,
all the work it takes
2044
01:37:10,963 --> 01:37:13,103
to find a new house
and the right 'burb.
2045
01:37:13,206 --> 01:37:15,001
You got this vision
of your dream home.
2046
01:37:15,105 --> 01:37:17,072
But then it literally
turned to shit.
2047
01:37:17,245 --> 01:37:19,074
And then there's the amount
of people that you have
2048
01:37:19,178 --> 01:37:22,043
to make appointments
with to even see a house.
2049
01:37:22,146 --> 01:37:24,355
You're bringing the kids
to all these houses,
2050
01:37:24,459 --> 01:37:26,875
and oof,
then there's a gut check.
2051
01:37:27,013 --> 01:37:29,050
Does it even feel
like a home?
2052
01:37:29,395 --> 01:37:33,399
And after all that, oh my God,
don't even get me started
on the paperwork.
2053
01:37:33,502 --> 01:37:36,954
It's insane the amount
of paperwork you have
to try and buy a house.
2054
01:37:37,058 --> 01:37:39,370
So, you want
to know what 'burb?
2055
01:37:41,614 --> 01:37:43,167
This is it.
2056
01:37:46,067 --> 01:37:51,141
You can't say that [laughs]
if it's not true.
2057
01:37:53,626 --> 01:37:57,595
Look, I know that
I cannot live with you.
2058
01:37:58,976 --> 01:38:01,427
But I also know that
we have to be close by,
2059
01:38:02,911 --> 01:38:05,396
Because I want our kids
to grow up together.
2060
01:38:06,466 --> 01:38:07,364
Like how we did.
2061
01:38:08,020 --> 01:38:09,262
[sighs]
2062
01:38:10,643 --> 01:38:12,714
Is three blocks okay?
2063
01:38:12,817 --> 01:38:14,509
I mean, does that work
for you?
2064
01:38:14,889 --> 01:38:17,961
[laughs] I think
I can make it work.
2065
01:38:20,135 --> 01:38:22,068
I love you.
- I love you too.
2066
01:38:26,141 --> 01:38:28,626
So I'm going to be over there.
2067
01:38:28,730 --> 01:38:31,940
And when I need something,
I barely have to call.
2068
01:38:32,044 --> 01:38:33,838
I'm just popping by.
2069
01:38:34,322 --> 01:38:37,187
You should let me know before
you come so we can make sure
Marty's wearing pants.
2070
01:38:37,290 --> 01:38:39,120
When I need something lifted.
2071
01:38:39,223 --> 01:38:41,363
I'm texting Marty,
I can go, I can skip you.
2072
01:38:41,467 --> 01:38:44,159
I might see you
on a Monday afternoon.
2073
01:38:44,263 --> 01:38:46,851
I might see you
late Monday night,
that same Monday.
2074
01:38:46,955 --> 01:38:48,681
And I would love that.
2075
01:38:48,853 --> 01:38:52,788
So I guess it's just, uhm,
a casual see you later?
2076
01:38:52,892 --> 01:38:53,824
[Bloods - Thinking Of You
Thinking Of Me plays]
2077
01:38:53,928 --> 01:38:55,032
Yeah.
2078
01:38:56,033 --> 01:38:57,897
That's it.
- That's it.
2079
01:38:58,001 --> 01:39:01,418
- You love me.
- I love you, and I'm--
I'm gonna see you later.
2080
01:39:01,521 --> 01:39:02,591
[laughs]
2081
01:39:05,801 --> 01:39:07,044
[squeals, laughs]
2082
01:39:07,838 --> 01:39:09,253
[moans happily]
2083
01:39:15,604 --> 01:39:17,330
[screams happily]
2084
01:39:38,869 --> 01:39:41,182
[music continues]
2085
01:41:32,741 --> 01:41:34,881
[music fades]
2086
01:41:42,026 --> 01:41:44,098
[mellow music plays]