1
00:00:10,256 --> 00:00:12,215
Shit!

2
00:00:14,326 --> 00:00:15,846
Nice to see you.

3
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,600
Jason, don't start me!

4
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,519
I can't believe I'm
working in Turley's.

5
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,560
Will I actually get to meet Turley, himself?
/ Mm.

6
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:31,870
Do you know Primark?

7
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,880
Why is it called Primark?

8
00:00:34,905 --> 00:00:37,785
Was the fella that
started it called Primark?

9
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:40,839
I wish someone would
name a shop after me.

10
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,400
But then who'd want to
call a shop "Gemma"?

11
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,439
My granny Betty hates tea.

12
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,519
I mean it's not even that she
doesn't like it, she hates it.

13
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,399
If you made her a cup of tea
she'd throw it in your face.

14
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,839
I says to her once: "Granny,
why do you hate tea so much?

15
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,719
She said: "Don't you ever ask me
that again or I'll break your neck!"

16
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,479
This government has done more
than any previous government

17
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,359
to end child poverty in
the developing world,

18
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,959
but no one in the media
wants to ask me about that!

19
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,479
And then you'd respond?

20
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,160
Uh... Seamus?

21
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,279
If I had a shop, I'd
call it "Bracelets."

22
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,079
But I wouldn't sell bracelets.

23
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,199
I just really like
the name, "Bracelets."

24
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,199
Do you know who I love?
Matthew McConaughey.

25
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,879
Do you know what I
don't love? Tomato soup.

26
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,239
But I like real tomatoes
and I don't like potatoes.

27
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,399
But I do like chips.
But I don't like fish.

28
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,719
But I do like scampi.

29
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,279
Seamus, I really
think we should-

30
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,720
Seamus?

31
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,000
Seamus?
/ Yeah, just...

32
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,120
one sec.

33
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,639
Um...

34
00:01:55,640 --> 00:02:00,879
Crisps, broccoli, lettuce,
marzipan, porridge, curly wurleys...

35
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,839
Seamus, could you...?

36
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,359
Sausages, vegetarian
sausages, vegan sausages...

37
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,920
Ahem.

38
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,199
OK, no!
/ Hey!

39
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,120
Anything vegan, anything
sausage-Shut the fuck up, Gemma!

40
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,639
I need you to focus.

41
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,959
Nisha Anand is a
formidable media performer.

42
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,119
If you're not prepared for this,
she will make you look amateur-

43
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:26,279
It's fine. Stop freaking
out. I'll just say, you know:

44
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,519
Nisha Anand, in an interview with
the Daily Telegraph, you described

45
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:34,319
the 2008 Climate Change Act as a
lurch towards global communism.

46
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,159
Seamus-Don't you think that
kind of language is not just

47
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,800
inflammatory but
hugely irresponsible?

48
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,959
Answer the question, Minister!

49
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,520
That wasn't her, Seamus.

50
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,599
Fuck! That was the
Health Secretary!

51
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,360
OK, OK, OK. I'll start again.

52
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,799
Foreign Secretary...

53
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,439
I'm sorry I shouted at you.

54
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,679
I'm a bit stressed, I shouldn't
have taken it out on you.

55
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,759
Are you depressed again?
Who told you that?

56
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,039
Everyone who works
here. I'm not depressed.

57
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,320
If anything, it's the
opposite, I'm... overjoyed.

58
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,999
Is this about a fella?
I can't talk about it.

59
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,959
It is about a fella!

60
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,879
I haven't told anyone about
him and it's driving me mental.

61
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,199
Who is he?
/ He's nobody. Well he's not nobody.

62
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,879
He's famous! Fuck off!

63
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,119
His girlfriend's famous,
too! He has a girlfriend?

64
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,799
I know, it's terrible
So how'd you meet him?

65
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,599
I saved his life.
And he saved my life!

66
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,919
We didn't have sex.

67
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,759
I mean we didn't-
We didn't even kiss.

68
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,679
But we've been texting
each other all week.

69
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,759
So who is he? Well, I
can't tell you that.

70
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,399
Is it Tom Cruise? Of
course it's not Tom Cruise!

71
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,119
He's English.
Is it Hugh Grant?

72
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,239
No it's not Hugh Grant. Fuck
it's not Simon Cowell, is it?

73
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,640
Stop guessing, I'm
not telling you.

74
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,039
He's staying in the
Merchant Hotel. Ooh-hoo!

75
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,439
Yeah, and I texted him saying,

76
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,079
"Oh I've always wanted to stay at the
Merchant," with a sexy winking emoji.

77
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,079
But he hasn't replied
and it's been three hours

78
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,999
and it's driving
me fucking mental!

79
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,439
Should I text him and tell
him I was only joking?

80
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,319
Cause it's-I
don't want to scare him away.

81
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,919
Ack, you know what these
English fellas are like.

82
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,759
You have to be very
forward with them.

83
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,240
They're too polite.

84
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,280
Coming, Jason.

85
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,119
We've moved things
around. / Yeah.

86
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,119
So, Nisha is up first. Uh-huh.
/ You have to go in hard. / OK.

87
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,839
I have people
coming up to me on the street

88
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,239
and they say, "I am 100%
behind you on this."

89
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:37,079
Fuck, she's really good. Do you
think you're ready for this?

90
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,199
I really think the public's
ahead of you on this one.

91
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,839
It's... fine.

92
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:43,919
It'll be fine.

93
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,039
Woah, woah, woah!
There's no way I'm staying here.

94
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,679
This is my hotel. Oh,
it looks really nice.

95
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,080
Sleep well.

96
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,480
Here you go, mate.

97
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,040
Thank you.

98
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,360
Woo-hoo!

99
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,400
Seamus, Seamus, Seamus.

100
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,800
Ooh! Ha-ha!

101
00:05:55,240 --> 00:06:00,159
Yeah! Yeah, girl! Wacka,
wacka. Wacka, wacka...

102
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,399
Hiiii.

103
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,559
It's only me!

104
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,679
Jesus fucking Christ!
What are you doing here?

105
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,679
Turn around!
/ I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-

106
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,319
Close your eyes! I was
trying to surprise you!

107
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,519
Surprise, surprise-
Go in the other room!

108
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,120
I'm sorry, I just-

109
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,839
I'm so sorry.

110
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,199
That was a big
misjudgement on my part.

111
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,159
You nearly gave me a
fucking heart attack.

112
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,559
I thought maybe
you were shy. What?

113
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,879
I thought you were shy, because
you didn't reply to my text,

114
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,039
I thought you wanted something to happen,
but you were being all English about it-

115
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,759
Sorry, I-I didn't
reply to your text

116
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,599
so you thought you'd
break into my hotel room?

117
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,519
I didn't break in!
Attack me in the shower!

118
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,999
I didn't attack you in the
shower, I gave you a little wave!

119
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,359
Did you not see my
wee wave? It was-What?

120
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,319
If you didn't want me to come up, why did
you tell me what room you were staying in?

121
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,799
Well... because I wanted to brag
about staying in Room Number One!

122
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,519
I didn't expect you to show up! Why
care about the number of the room?

123
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,719
Because it's the Presidential Suite!
Bill Clinton slept here! / What?

124
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,279
Look, anyway, how
did you get in?

125
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,279
Oh, the cleaner was leaving when
I arrived so I just-Jesus Christ!

126
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,359
Look, I'm sorry, I only
meant to knock on your door.

127
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,519
I never intended to drink your
champagne and eat your chocolates.

128
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,280
You drank my champagne?

129
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,559
Only most of it.

130
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,959
Wh-wh-where are
you going? Home.

131
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,119
Well, don't just go! You
don't seem happy to see me.

132
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,959
No, I am.

133
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,920
Look, do you want
to go for a drink?

134
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,680
Well, do you want
to get dressed?

135
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,999
So why do you think you're
staying at the Presidential Suite?

136
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,999
Erm, hmm, because I am.

137
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,719
The Presidential Suite's in the
Europa, which is a different hotel.

138
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,802
No-It's not the Presidential
Suite. No, no, no, no, no.

139
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,850
It's not the Presidential... Oh, excuse me. Hi.
/ Yes? - Hi.

140
00:07:50,874 --> 00:07:54,360
Erm, ahem, I'm staying
in Room 1. Yes, sir.

141
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,439
Which is... Room 1.

142
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:03,639
Yes, er, but could you tell
this lady, the very important,

143
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,319
famous guest, who once stayed
there? She doesn't believe me.

144
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,279
Ah. Certainly, sir.

145
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,359
On his "One Last
Time" tour in 2004,

146
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,115
Barry Manilow did stay in Room 1.
But it was only for the one night.

147
00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:18,639
No, no, no. Not, not,
not Barry Manilow.

148
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,919
I meant, erm, you know,
erm, Bill Clinton.

149
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,999
I'm sorry.

150
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:28,279
No, I'm afraid President
Clinton never stayed here.

151
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,679
Perhaps you're, erm,
thinking of the Europa?

152
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,679
Yeah,
perhaps, could be.

153
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,800
I should've
double-checked.

154
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,239
My mind's been very taken up
with this extremely important

155
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,919
interview I've got tomorrow.
Hmm. Who's the interview with?

156
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,120
Nisha... Anand.
/ Oh!

157
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,818
Am I supposed to know who that
is? She's the Foreign Secretary.

158
00:08:55,318 --> 00:08:56,855
Farm Secretary! What?

159
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,239
No, no. Not, not Farm Secretary.

160
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,039
Sorry, the-the
Foreign Secretary.

161
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:05,799
That's what I said, Farm Secretary.
No, no, foreign. Foreign.

162
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,439
For-reign!
/ Oh, Foreign. Foreign. Yes.

163
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,359
Foreign Secretary. Why
didn't you just say that?

164
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:13,639
Fuck off."I'm interviewing
the Farm, Foreign Secretary!"

165
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,439
Oh, is that supposed to be me? It's
what English people sound like.

166
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,839
Well, anyway, I'm not English,
I'm Irish.

167
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,599
What's funny about
that? I am Irish.

168
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,079
My name's Seamus O'Hannigan.

169
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,639
"My name's Seamus O'Hannigan.
Don't you know, old bean?"Fuck off!

170
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,119
I can't imagine you being any
good at interviewing people.

171
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,919
Oh, well, thank you very much!

172
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,959
It's only, erm, what
I do for a living.

173
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,719
No, you're too self-absorbed.

174
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,919
Surely to do your job you have to
be like interested in other people?

175
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,599
I am interested in other people!
Hey, I'm interested in you. / Bollocks.

176
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,279
You haven't asked me one single
question about myself since I sat down.

177
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,319
You haven't asked me anything.
/ I'm not interested in anything you have to say.

178
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,360
Well, fine, let's not talk then.
Fine by me. / Fine.

179
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,759
I do actually have a
serious question for you.

180
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,279
Well, I actually have a serious question for you too.
/ You go first.

181
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,999
No, no, no. You go first.
I'll ask mine after-

182
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,040
Why do you want
to kill yourself?

183
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,840
Why didn't you tell me
you had a girlfriend?

184
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,079
I don't want to
answer that question.

185
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,120
But thank you for
saving my life.

186
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,639
Look, I'm...

187
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,999
I'm sorry I didn't mention
I had a girlfriend.

188
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,279
I shouldn't have done that.

189
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,199
But look, we didn't
actually do anything, so-

190
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,080
So, what are we doing here now?

191
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,639
Er, well, erm, I like you.

192
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,479
I wanted to see you again.

193
00:10:55,480 --> 00:11:00,480
And, erm, I do-I do find
you extremely attractive.

194
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,399
Wow, what do you find
"extremely" attractive about me?

195
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,679
Pfft!

196
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:11,479
You-you want me to
spell it out? Yeah.

197
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:12,520
OK.

198
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,800
OK, erm...

199
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,359
Well, I like, erm, er...

200
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,279
Right, I like your
face. It's a nice face.

201
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,719
Erm, it's, erm, a
very regal, er, face.

202
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:32,559
Er, your-your brow, is as-
You got-You have eyes too-

203
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:37,919
Er, nice eyes-Is that it?
And-And your-your smile-

204
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,039
You like my smile?
/ Yeah.

205
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,239
You're not gonna
see me smiling much tonight

206
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,119
if that's the level of
compliment you're giving-

207
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,919
Alright, alright, alright,
alright. I-I-I like, erm-

208
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,399
I like that you
always tell the truth.

209
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,359
I like that you clearly don't give
a fuck what anyone thinks about you.

210
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,799
And I like how...

211
00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:00,520
you're just always
unapologetically you.

212
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,880
Janet.

213
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,799
Mm-hmm.

214
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:11,840
What?

215
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,279
What do you find
attractive about me

216
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,719
Who says I find anything about you attractive?
/ Oh, come on!

217
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,639
Name one thing that
you like about me.

218
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,960
Go on, one thing.

219
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,720
Hmm...

220
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,320
Oh, dear.

221
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,799
Your nose.
/ My nose? Yeah, you've a nice nose.

222
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,839
Pfft!
/ That's the only thing I like about you.

223
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,279
An inch bigger or smaller I-I
wouldn't be here right now.

224
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,520
So...

225
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,600
what do you want to do now?

226
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,400
I love my girlfriend.

227
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,560
That's that, then.

228
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,599
Yeah. Yup.

229
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,599
I should probably go and do some work.
/ Um-hmm. I'm gonna go.

230
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,080
I'm gonna see if
they've got a taxi. Yep.

231
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,920
Can you just give me
a second? Thank you.

232
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:01,720
Thanks.

233
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,919
So, listen. I've just had this crazy idea.
/ Oh yeah? What's that?

234
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,960
Let's have an affair.
/ What?

235
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,959
We can't, we just-We can't.
/ Why, of course we can, of course we can.

236
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,439
Why?
/ People would get hurt! Who?

237
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,999
Well, my girlfriend for a start.
She wouldn't find out, Seamus.

238
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,719
That's why they call it an affair.
You would get hurt. / I would get hurt?

239
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,959
By who, by you? Who do
you think you are, Seamus?

240
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,359
Do you think you're
so good at sex,

241
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,239
I'll be broken-hearted if
you take away the dick?

242
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,479
Shush!
/ I have a vibrator. You won't be missed.

243
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,719
Anyway I'm famous. It
would be national news.

244
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,679
National news?

245
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,079
I hate to break this to you,
mate, but, you're not that famous.

246
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,879
I am famous! Not
really famous.

247
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,040
I fucking am. I am famous!

248
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,400
So why is nobody looking at you?

249
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,279
They were looking at
me when I walked in.

250
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,839
They-They've got used
to me being here by now.

251
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,399
Walk in again.
/ What?

252
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,959
Walk from here to here and
see if anyone notices you.

253
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,359
No, I'm-I'm-I'm not making
a spectacle of myself.

254
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,959
It won't be a spectacle, cause
nobody'll be watching you.

255
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,000
Fine.

256
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000
Ahem!

257
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,880
Hmm.

258
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,039
See? People were looking.
Nobody was looking.

259
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,039
They're posh. That's how posh
people respond to the presence

260
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,679
of a celebrity, with
studied disinterest.

261
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,239
Anyway, you were
looking at me, not them.

262
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,799
Let's try somewhere else.

263
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,880
Zip! Shh!

264
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,759
What the fuck's your
problem? Sorry, sorry.

265
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,200
It's OK.

266
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,599
I'M SEAMUS O'HANNIGAN!

267
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,759
DOES NOBODY IN BELFAST
KNOW WHO I AM?!

268
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,000
FUCK OFF,
YOU ENGLISH PRICK!

269
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,000
Maybe I'm just
famous in Islington.

270
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,760
OK, let's have sex.

271
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,200
OK, then.

272
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,119
OK, let's go.

273
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,999
Seamus O'Hannigan?
Foreign Secretary!

274
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,879
Good evening! I, erm, didn't
know you were staying here.

275
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,839
I'm not. I'm just having dinner with the Secretary of State.
/ Oh.

276
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,479
I'm at the Europa.
Presidential Suite!

277
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,159
I... Hello!

278
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,760
I'm Nisha! Ooh.

279
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,160
Hello, I'm Janet. Hi.

280
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,999
I'm his secretary.
/ Assistant. Assistant.

281
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,559
Yeah, assistant.
Assistant, yeah.

282
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,519
So, ready to do battle
tomorrow, mister?

283
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,759
I'm a bit nervous. Go easy on
me!

284
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,679
Oh, it'll be fine. Is she the politician you're interviewing tomorrow?
/ Yeah.

285
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,559
Don't be nervous,
Nisha! He's nervous too!

286
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,319
What? I'm not nervous?

287
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,559
Who said I was nervous? You
said it about ten minutes ago!

288
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,520
No, I didn't. I never said
that. No, no, no, no, no, no.

289
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,879
Where do I know your face from?
She's the Foreign Secretary.

290
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,479
Oh, my holy fuck! You were on Celebrity Come Dine With Me!
/ I was!

291
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,399
Jason Donovan hated
your lasagne!

292
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,959
You know what? A lot of the snobby
types in the party, and the media,

293
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:41,919
criticised me for doing reality
TV but I loved every second of it!

294
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,879
You were brilliant!
Aw, thank you, pet!

295
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,439
The look on your face when
Jedward handed you that pear flan!

296
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,439
The stories I could
tell you about Jedward!

297
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,359
Tell me, tell me, tell me!
Oh, we should get going.

298
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,959
Right, bye.

299
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,320
Now she is famous.
/ She's a cunt!

300
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:06,960
I thought she was nice.

301
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,799
Why'd you have to tell
her I was nervous?

302
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,759
I hate her knowing that I'm nervous.
She said she was nervous, too.

303
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,719
Well, I know she's nervous
and she knows I'm nervous,

304
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,119
but now I know she
knows I'm nervous-

305
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,079
So, everybody's nervous and
everybody knows everybody's nervous.

306
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,840
What's the big deal? It
sabotages the dynamic.

307
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,039
I don't know what that means.

308
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:34,039
It's a media
term, you wouldn't understand.

309
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,479
Where are you going?
I'm going home.

310
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,359
I thought we were going
to-This isn't gonna work.

311
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,959
What-What's not going to
work? This, this, and this.

312
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,919
You think I'm beneath
you. No, I don't!

313
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,519
You think I'm
stupid. Oh my God!

314
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,639
Where-Where's this
coming from? No, I don't!

315
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,399
I embarrassed you.
/ When?

316
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,159
Just now in front of
the Farm Secretary.

317
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,719
Foreign-Foreign! Fucking
Foreign Secretary. Fuck!

318
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,680
Well, look it's-It's
just-

319
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,359
Seamus, we're completely
different people,

320
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:17,960
from completely different worlds.
It shouldn't matter. / It does though.

321
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,000
Ah well, big lad.

322
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,520
It wasn't meant to be.

323
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,040
How will you get home?

324
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,040
I'll get the bus.

325
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,479
Come on!

326
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,639
"Does the minister
agree with Labour's plans

327
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,559
to work with the
British Business Bank

328
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,359
to support female families
achieve their ambitions?"

329
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,239
"Hear, hear."

330
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,319
"I have been hurt on here,

331
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,279
like in here, you kind
of get away with it..."

332
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,200
Ugh!

333
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,159
I said, "Ugh!"

334
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:49,359
I know, love. And it'd turn
your stomach, wouldn't it?

335
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,320
Fuck it!

336
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,520
Are you
getting on or what?

337
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,239
Where's the bus stop?
Left on the corner.

338
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,680
Thank you, thank you-

339
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,719
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

340
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,000
Fuck! Fuck!

341
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,480
Wait! Wait! Wait!

342
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,360
Uh, fuck!

343
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,359
Was that the bus for
the Newtownards Road?

344
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:05,200
Aye, you just missed
it, son. Ah, shit.

345
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,040
Huh?

346
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,520
You didn't get on the bus?

347
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,759
Might have.

348
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,479
Might have got off again.

349
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,719
I had a craving for an
ice cream and I thought,

350
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,559
"Fuck it, I'll get myself an ice
cream and then I'll go home."

351
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,320
Do you mind if I join you?

352
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,280
Um...

353
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,879
You know, every time I've been to
Belfast, it's never places like this.

354
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,719
I'm always stood beside a
mural or stuck in a farmhouse

355
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,959
interviewing a terrorist.

356
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,600
I mean, this is lovely.

357
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,599
Well, that never used
to be a sushi bar.

358
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,360
They used to execute people in there.
/ Huh.

359
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,319
Oh! Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.

360
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,759
I'm sorry.
Are-Are you OK?

361
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,479
What-what did you
do that for? Argh!

362
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,799
It was just instinct.

363
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,879
I'm not used to people
trying to kiss me.

364
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,200
I think my nose is broken.
Oh god! Let me see.

365
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,479
Let me see, let
me see. Oh fuck!

366
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,120
There. No. Fine. It's still a-

367
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,359
Yup, still a lovely nose.

368
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,160
Seamus?

369
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,719
Frankie?

370
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,440
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