What up, Food Gang Bang Bang?
This your boy Dre Shaw, and I'm back with another review.
This time, we got a Wicked Whopper.
Let's get into it.
Whoo, whoo.
This good.
This is terrible.
What up, what up, what up?
It's your boy Dre Shaw, Food Gang Bang Bang.
This weekend, I'm gonna meet y'all
at the Something in the Water Festival.
Meet me there. Matter of fact, beat me there.
Got it? Cool.
Whoo, they loving the kid, new followers.
Food Gang Bang Bang.
Oh!
Whoo.
This your boy Dre Shaw, man,
and I'm back with another Food Gang Bang Bang,
and I got another hit on my hands, y'all, whoo.
Yo, Tommy.
Yo.
- How you feeling? - How you, man?
- My man. - Oh, lemme get some of that.
Ah! Man, ain't you out there getting comped six-course meals?
- Them meals ain't free, Tommy. - Then you need
to upgrade your hustle, my brother.
You need to stick to helping politicians scam people.
That's what you need to do.
That's not what politicians do.
It's not?
You know, okay. Let's shake this up, Dre.
Okay.
So, you know what I was thinking?
Why would I know what you was thinking, Tommy?
Far be for me to impose, but you know
what I think you need on your little social media?
My little social media?
Why does everybody think that they know what I'm doing?
It's not about just taking pictures of food.
It's strategic. How many followers you got?
- Me? - Yes, you.
Oh, shoot, um, um,
- a solid, cool, uh, 1,200. - 800.
Hey, got to round up, brother.
Look, here's what you need, man, a partner.
- What? - A co-host.
I'll pretend like I didn't hear that.
Someone attractive.
- Fun. - Fun.
Look, I watch those TV shows, Dre.
TV, what's that?
It's always two, Dre.
Always two.
I see what you're saying.
Somebody easy on the eyes.
Yeah.
Give the world a different perspective.
Ha! It's simmering now.
Oh, it's cooking!
- Food metaphor. - Analogy.
Ooh, it'll let the world know that, uh, you're an idiot.
Huh?
Now, that was unnecessarily hurtful, man.
Oh. I got a million followers.
A million people can't be wrong.
- Oh, they absolutely can. - Absolutely not.
- And it's 800,000. - A million, almost a million.
- But it doesn't mean anything. - It does.
I'm talking about for you, Dre.
- It's just a number. - Ten is just a number.
- A million is a bigger number. - That's accurate.
It's a stamp to let everybody know.
All the doubters, haters, and naysayers know
that a kid from nowhere has made it, bro.
But no one doubts you, Dre.
I made it on these shoulders.
- All right. - These shoulders.
- All me, baby. - Yep. All right.
- Now, lemme get some of that. - Uh-uh.
All you?
- Mm-hmm. - Hmm?
All me baby.
- You a hater. - Talk to me.
- You a hater. Yeah. - I hear you. Yeah.
That's a very pretty tune, Carlo.
What's the name of it?
Oh, that's the name, too.
I thought it was just the words.
Oh, yes, that's it. Irene's got herself engaged.
- To whom? - I don't know,
Van something or other.
I think he's that boy with his arm around that girl in pink.
- He's got lots of money. - Well, he'll need it.
Let me get a Widow Jane, 10 year.
Yo, what's her deal?
How the hell should I know?
Hey, hey, man, go on somewhere, angry man.
He's angry for no reason, damn.
Hi.
- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.
- Do you like this place? - It's all right.
See the bartender over there?
- Mm-hmm. - He was rude to me.
- Yeah? - Hurt my feelings.
You do seem like a sensitive guy.
I'm emotional, but I can be very litigious.
You're not thinking about suing the place, are you?
Suing the brakes off this place.
But I can be impulsive.
I can see that.
So, you see my dilemma?
- I can. - What should I do?
- Here's what you do. - Talk to me.
You can tell him you'll sue him,
but you'll give him a pass,
so every time he sees you, he'll be on his best behavior.
- I like that. - I solve problems.
I see.
What's your name?
Tatiana.
Tatiana. What do you do?
Mm, you're definitely from DC.
I'm in the food industry.
Oh, I'm in the food game, too.
Hmm, you own a restaurant?
No, I'm a food critic.
You might have heard of me, Dre Shaw.
No.
I don't do it all stuffy and stiffy how it sounds.
I add my own thing to the food game.
Food game?
Can I get you a drink?
I'm still working on this one.
Can I stay for a while?
- Well-- - Here's the thing.
There's no shortages of clubs and bars in DC,
so for us to be at the same place,
at the same time, on the same night,
it's like winning the lotto.
Look around.
Got the whole place to ourselves,
our own personal mixologist,
and for us to not get to know one another--
It would be irresponsible of us.
We'd be cursing the gods.
So, you're a food critic and a theologian.
- Seems that way. - It's an interesting mix.
So, you're saying you're interested?
- I didn't say that. - Well, you didn't not.
How do you know I believe the same things you believe?
Well, you didn't ask me to leave.
You haven't given me the opportunity.
So, you want me to?
I'm not sure.
But you probably should.
Why is that?
Damn.
- You lost? - I ain't lost.
I know where my seat is.
How 'bout you go find it?
"How 'bout you go find it?"
I'm gonna find my seat 'cause I want to find my seat,
not 'cause you all close standing up on me all like that.
That's what your little ass get.
Hey, man, if you don't get your angry ass on somewhere...
Fat neck.
It's all good.
Dre Shaw got options.
Yo, hello!
Yeah, it's Dre Shaw.
Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you.
Been a little busy.
Yeah, working 'cause I'm a working man, yep.
I miss your face, though.
Yeah, I do, you know, 'cause a woman's face
without freckles is like a night without stars.
Yeah, uh-huh.
What you doing?
Big bro.
Rise and shine, baby bro.
It's early.
Half the day gone already.
Everybody ain't up with the roosters like you.
Boy, the city done made you soft.
Listen, clear your calendar.
- Pack a bag. - Why?
Monica and I decided to get married this weekend.
What?
When was you gonna tell me?
I just said we just decided, dummy.
We don't wanna wait anymore.
Ain't no point to it really.
We're both ready.
Gonna get married here at the house,
just the people close to us.
It's a little short notice, don't you think?
I can't do it without my best man.
Come on, man.
Well, what you got going on?
You don't know what I got going on.
What, your little internet thing?
You not gonna keep disrespecting what I do.
-Oh, what you gonna do about it? -Drive up there, bust your head.
You gonna be getting married with the white meat hanging out.
- Man, telephone tough guy. - Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, whatever. I'm expecting you here in the morning.
I love you.
What's wrong?
Who does that?
Who just hijacks somebody's weekend
like they don't have nothing else going on?
Do you have something else going on?
That's not the point.
He's your brother.
He loves you enough to ensure you're part
of such a momentous occasion.
That should mean something.
Mean what?
Yo, yo.
All right.
- Big bro. - Baby bro.
Oh, man, good to see you.
Good to see you, boy.
- Ah, oh, God. - Yeah, man.
Mi casa es su casa, bro.
- Thank you. Yes sir. - Come on in.
And once we get through the wedding, get situated,
gonna find a bigger place out in the country.
That's what's up, bro.
Yeah, she's likes a lot of land,
and I don't like people.
Match made in heaven.
You laugh, but...
This is country enough for me.
Monica's a good woman.
You're making the right choice, brother.
Thanks. Still, you know, nerves.
Stop acting like a little punk.
I knew it was too good to be true,
you acting like a normal person.
- What? - Why you gotta ruin everything?
- I ruin everything? - Yeah.
Speak of the devil.
Once y'all start the speaking.
Then, she'll appear.
Baby.
Oh, hey baby bro-in-law.
- Not yet. - Oh, clock's ticking.
It's inevitable.
Mm, what's your name, cutie?
Wouldn't you like to know?
I like 'em sassy.
That is so sweet of you guys to get the bags.
What? I just got here.
Mm-hmm, right on time, baby bro-in-law.
Come on, man, get the bag.
Shut up.
Okay.
Baby, what did you do with the, uh--
Babe, it's where it always is, babe.
- It's not, baby. - Babe.
- Come on, babe. - Oh, look at you.
You know she's calling you a pig, right?
Babe was a pig.
Why do you hate love, Dre?
- I asked you nicely, Dre. - What?
Did you say you were gonna get some food, babe?
I didn't say that, baby.
I thought I heard you say that.
No, we got a counter full of groceries.
Yeah, but then that means
I would have to make something,
and it's just that I don't want to.
Oh, baby, the party's tonight.
So, you're just gonna let me starve?
That's your plan, just, just let me starve?
Baby, we got the chef and the whole nine.
I know, but it's like I'm hungry now,
so if you could just find it in your heart to just, you know.
All right, I'll run by Mixt.
- Oh, Mixt, that sounds good. - Mm-hmm.
You should take Dre with you.
That way you guys can have some brother bonding time.
- What? Monica, there you go. - What?
Talking how you talk, acting how you act.
- Hmm, someone's sensitive. - Yeah, he is.
Is that because you don't have a date?
Who said I don't got a date?
You, you sitting there all solo and salty.
Dre Shaw got options.
- Third person? - Dead giveaway.
I thought we was going somewhere.
Come on, boy. Let's go, man.
Damn, man. I hope he mess up your food, too.
Yeah, and if he does, I'm taking yours.
Uh-huh, you boys play nice.
- Thanks - Thank you.
Ooh, that's good.
So, how's your boy Tommy?
Ah, man, he's good.
Thinks he's gonna be president one day.
Yeah, that's good.
- He's a good kid. - Yeah.
Hey, man, can you not do that social media this weekend?
- What? - You know how you do.
Keep it classy.
Be present.
That was layered with, like, ten insults, bro.
We gotta go fly fishing while you're here.
Be like the good old days.
Great.
It'll Zen you out.
When'd you become such a soft city boy?
If you wanna live out in the country and spearfish,
fine by me, but we live in a civilization here, bro.
It's the suburbs.
You, the locusts, and cicadas, you can have it, bro.
Open air cleanses the soul.
What?
Yeah, something Stacy used to say.
Stacy?
Why you bringing up Stacy, bro?
I didn't bring her up.
You just brought her up.
I didn't-- never mind.
Isaac, don't go down that road.
What?
You know what I'm talking about.
We should be heading out, man.
Boring-ass party.
You know any Kendrick Lamar?
His earlier work has a certain je ne sais quoi.
Any Drake for the ladies?
Forget you then.
Oh, enjoying yourself?
What do you think?
What do you prefer, a DJ with a laptop
and a bunch of pretty people just standing around
taking pictures of themselves, not talking to each other?
Witty social commentary.
You need to broaden your horizons.
Dre Shaw got class.
So what your brother's choices are--
Wack, square, stuffy?
Conservative.
He indulges me and doesn't complain.
You think I think he enjoys going to farmers' markets
and watching true crime shows before bed?
That is the most wackest thing I've ever heard.
Well, I'm sorry we can't all eat Fruity Pebbles
for dinner in our 30s, Mr. Highbrow.
He told you that?
We don't keep secrets.
We have a bond that can't be broken.
Don't you like anything?
Food's good.
"Food's good."
Well, there you go.
Way to use your words.
I'm gonna turn this up a notch.
See, the thing about fly fishing,
people just wanna throw it out there.
It's technique, tempo.
People wanna give it a few pumps.
I just flip it out there
and will one of them bad boys back in, you know?
Yeah, look, Isaac, I love you, bro.
You getting ready to join the family,
but, bro, I don't care anything
about what you talking about, man.
- Oh, my God, man. - All right, all right.
Dre, don't jump in my pool, boy.
Jump in the pool, Dre.
Dre, I'm serious.
- Don't do it. - Do it.
Dre.
Hasta luego, Placido Domingo.
Dre.
Oh, my God.
All right, everyone.
Don't encourage this idiot.
Now, our wonderfully talented chef, Tatiana--
Oh, snap.
Would like to inform you lovely people
that dinner is served.
Hey.
Okay, big time, I see you with the private chef.
Hey.
- You again? - What are you doing here?
You like causing a scene, don't you?
- You're the chef? - That's what the coat means.
Why?
Why are you being weird?
I thought I'd never see you again.
Hmm.
Is, uh, freckles here?
Who?
Where you going?
I'm at work.
What are the odds?
What are the odds that I see you again?
What are the odds of anything?
Plot twist.
Hey, wait up.
Pretty good spread.
I think everyone deserves a great hat.
Do not embarrass me at my wedding.
- Ray Jay dance. - No, do not embarrass me.
Yo, yo, yo, what'd I miss?
Hey, man, that dive was a ten, bro.
Oh, what do you say, man?
Lighten up, 'Saac.
Tati, this food looks delicious.
Wait, you don't know her like that.
Her name is Tatiana.
Mademoiselle Tatiana, the food looks magnifique, eh?
- Oh, my God. - Thank you.
You did all this?
All right, everybody, let me have your attention.
I wanna say thank you to all of you for being here today.
It means a lot to both Monica and I.
And I'm blessed to spend such a special occasion
with such special people.
Even my baby brother came all this way.
Look at you, boy.
Mom and dad woulda been proud.
And even though I'm not one for the emotional talk,
forgive a bro.
The drinks is talking now.
Oh, baby, what can I say?
Even though it's impossible, I promise to do all I can
to try to make you as happy as you make me.
I love you, baby.
I love you, too.
To us.
Hey, to all of us.
To all of us.
Hear, hear.
I know, but I told you I'm at work, Mark.
I can't talk right now.
Yeah, yes, I miss you, too.
Don't be silly. I'll call you...
- Mr. Shaw. - Oh, Isaac.
- Is that a situation? - This?
Uh, lemme talk to him.
Mr.-- I mean, Isaac--
Nonsense. Let me talk to him.
Hey, buddy, Tatiana's a good cook, boy.
Should be against the law or made illegal.
Hey, listen.
What's his name?
Mark, Mark.
All right, yeah.
So, we're having a great weekend,
and I see Tatiana just moping along kicking the can,
and I'm like, "What's wrong?"
And she's like, "Mike's not here.
I don't know what to do."
And I'm like, "Get him on the first thing smoking pronto."
You know what I mean?
So, I expect you to be here.
Don't make me a liar.
All right, hey, peace in the Middle East, kid.
All right.
Hello.
Oh, he, uh, he hung up.
But he sounds like a real nice guy, you know.
It's turning out to be a great weekend.
Let the festivities begin!
Um, I'ma hit the can real quick.
Wait, you did what?
What, no good?
I...
Oh, you're speechless.
There's only one other time that you're speechless.
Don't start.
It's when--
I know when it is.
No, baby, don't get mad at me.
I'm just a poor, innocent vagrant.
A what?
Ooh.
What's so funny?
I just thought about how delicious this is gonna be
when Dre sees this man pull up here.
Like, it's gonna be--
Okay, what do you mean?
Oh, babe, how did you survive before I found you?
Don't worry about how I did it. I got it done.
- Oh, is that right? - Come here.
- Is that right? - Gimme some love.
With your fine self.
Just wick it, bro.
What does it look like I'm doing?
Boy, this a shame.
This why God created grocery stores.
What you gonna do when it all goes down?
Move in with you.
- They got catfish in this? - Small mouth bass, bro.
Well, can you fry small mouth bass, bro?
You can fry anything.
Hey, sorry about earlier.
What?
Bringing up Stacy.
That was stupid.
You ain't gotta apologize to me.
That's what you do, be stupid.
Hey, thanks for coming, bro.
Wouldn't've missed this for the world, bro.
Now, isn't this better
than being trapped by buildings,
blaring traffic in your ears, and you stuck to that iPhone?
No.
I can't catch anything.
It's patience, bro.
Your instant gratification like based lifestyle
holds no sway here in Mother Nature.
Shut up.
This is supposed to be a nice moment.
My bad. Oh, oh.
Caught one, boy.
- Lookie here. - Oh, you really got one.
I can't listen to this.
You don't have no Future, something?
Who? Boy, this is good driving music right here, boy.
I can't live like this.
Somebody named Future, that's just stupid.
What the hell he gonna do? Tell me my future, dummy?
- What's going on here? - I don't know.
- Why does he look familiar? - Boy, that's racist.
Oh, that's, uh, Matt, Mike.
Mike? Mike who?
- Tatiana's man. - What?
Yeah, I invited him.
What?
No good?
You're an idiot.
There he is, the man of the hour, mm...
- Mark. - Mark, Mark,
that's right, that's right. This is my brother, Dre.
Brought your little bag and everything, huh?
Always prepared, my friend.
Um, have we met before?
I have a million followers.
You might be one of 'em.
800,000, right?
900,000.
Oh, snap, moving on up.
I wouldn't follow you, but nice to meet you.
Okay, okay, let's head inside.
Let me take your bags.
Very funny.
Well, I have several interests.
Some can get pretty expensive,
but why deprive yourself, I say.
Art, on the other hand, it's less of an interest,
but just one of those things I'm good at.
Sitting in your seat, ain't he, big bro?
Sat right on down, didn't he?
Art salesman, wow.
And collector.
I got into art after getting my doctorate at Columbia.
Columbia, that's Ivy League, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
You know your universities.
Are you an Ivy Leaguer?
No, she went to Towson.
That's a state school.
Well, here's the one thing I, uh--
Hun, a little bit more. Thanks, babe.
Here's the one thing I learned in the art business.
You know how they say the first meeting is the hardest?
Well, I can assure you it wasn't hard at all.
You know what I learned in the street business?
We're from the suburbs.
And that's when a mother--
Boat, boat, boat.
I'm gonna head for the boat, right?
Boat. Yes, boat. Tatiana, boat.
- Huh? - Boat?
You nervous, bro?
Ha. No.
Ah, take it easy, man.
Ain't no sharks out here in this water.
I'm fine.
And we got life jackets, tank of gas,
enough brewskis to last us till the end times.
You'll be fine, bro.
Come on, man, I'm trying to drink my beer, boy.
My bad, man, my bad.
Siblings?
Two brothers and a sister.
- But you're the baby. - What does that mean?
I have a sixth sense.
You were spoiled, too.
I don't like where this is going.
No, it's a good thing.
When I was younger, yeah,
but as I got older, it became a different story.
Parents are weird that way.
They love how they were loved.
Trust me, it has nothing to do with you.
Do you have siblings?
Only child.
I see.
Don't do that.
Well, my parents weren't much to write home about.
They loved each other a lot,
so much that they ran off together
and left me with my grandmother.
Somehow or another,
everyone has walked away from me at some point.
I don't know if I'm so afraid of it that I attract it.
Abandonment issues much?
But not Isaac.
No, not Isaac.
- What's up, man? - Hey, what's up?
- Brewskis? - No, I don't do domestic.
Excuse me.
How you doing?
How much longer we gotta be out here?
Not much longer, I'm sure.
Good, because I didn't come out here for all this.
It won't be that much longer.
I'm gonna go check on Monica.
Got yourself in a pickle, didn't ya?
- What? - Tatiana.
Come on, man.
- Poker face sucks. - She like corn balls.
- That's good news for you. - I just don't understand
how you bring your dude to a place with your employer.
- I invited him. It's my fault. - Still, still.
You better calm yourself down.
You acting a little aggressive, ain't you?
Because you keep telling me what I do
- and what I don't. - You better simmer down
before you find yourself on the wrong side of this boat.
Why you always trying to throw somebody over?
I'm not a young boy no more. Try it. Try it.
- Come here. - All right, all right.
- All right, relax. - Yeah, yeah.
All right, okay. You know your big brother.
How's that?
Mark?
You guys are such gracious hosts,
and I don't even know you.
I shouldn't talk about my personal stuff.
Please, I have Isaac and Dre this weekend.
Girl, you are a welcome break.
Have you ever been to a restaurant,
and the waiter describes the meal exactly how you want,
how you need, and you get it--
And it's not what you thought.
But we're good.
You know, once you pull back the layers, he's good.
We're good.
Sounds like a lotta work.
I think we can take him, big bro.
Easy work.
First, you hit him in the head with a Corona.
I grab his legs, man overboard.
Cheers.
Bama bam
Hundred K. Perfect.
Where you from?
Here.
You need to travel, my friend.
Is that what I need to do?
Absolutely.
Been all over the bubble.
Europe is nice, Italy, London,
but I'm partial to France.
Maybe you should live there.
But the islands, women love the islands.
Ain't that right, hun?
I mean, who knows?
I'm pretty sure your little food things
can afford you travel with your women friends, right?
Yeah, that's what you need to do.
- Is that what I need to do? - Yeah.
You know what you need to do? You need to--
But between you and me, Belize is where you wanna go,
but, um, don't be where I be.
You know what I'm saying?
All things the same, Saint-Tropez is where it's at.
Women love it.
Took Tatiana there.
She had a ball.
Isn't that right, hun?
It was nice.
Uh-huh.
Sure know how to pick 'em.
Excuse you.
Hey, bro.
Got a few errands to run.
Be back shortly.
Wait, what?
Hey.
Hey, take me with you.
Man, I said we, as in her and I, dummy.
- But-- - No, look.
You kids have the run of the place.
Mi casa es su casa.
Don't leave me y'all.
Bye, Dre.
Come on, I'll drive. I'll do whatever.
I'll wash the floor mats.
I'll clean the tires.
Don't leave me. Put me in the trunk.
So hot.
Whoo.
Your bartender at your service.
Thank you.
Mm, oh, so good.
- I know, right? - Oh, my God.
Not as good as you are looking in that bathing suit.
Thank you. You like it?
I love it.
You best believe it.
Best thing I've seen all day.
Thank you.
We should lay down, let that beautiful body get some sun.
Yes, I want to.
Oh, sorry, man.
I know you're doing your little social media thing.
Mark.
- What? - Excuse us, Dre.
I think they're cute together.
Dre and Tatiana, you think?
Yeah.
In case you haven't noticed, there's a slight issue
with the fact that she has a man.
Oh, please.
That bama won't be around much longer.
So, you got it all figured out, don't you?
Well, when it comes to affairs of the heart,
I have a sixth sense.
Noticing this is a sense?
Got it.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, Dre's not ready for a commitment like that.
Who said anything about a commitment?
She's a nice girl.
I just think that she'd be good for him.
All right.
Wait, let's go back.
Why would he not be ready for a commitment?
Um, I'm not following.
Well, it's just that Dre couldn't trip and fall
into a real relationship, nor does he want to,
so what does him being ready have to do with anything?
Babe, you're not starting to read
into what I just said, are you?
Wait, you're not having--
- Me? - Yeah.
What, babe? I'm, I'm not nervous, of course not.
- Okay. - Babe, I'm not nervous.
Baby, I'm ready.
Finally, some peace and quiet.
Where is everyone?
Why does everybody think I know everything?
Nobody think you know anything, dummy.
They out by the pool, I think.
Let's go out, let off some steam.
That sounds like a great idea.
Oh.
Yes, oh.
You a naughty little thing,
yes, indeed, mm, mm.
Hi.
Oh, hello.
Did I ever tell you I love your hair.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, listen, wait, you, you listening?
I am.
I'm so happy you're here.
That's sweet, thank you.
It's that I think you're such a sweet girl,
and I can't imagine.
And, and it's just I.
Get it together, Monica.
Can I, can I give you some advice, not that you need it
- or anything. - Um, okay.
One, always trust you.
You know, you know?
And two, whenever--
Wait, wait, wait.
What's two?
Oh, whenever--
One is enough.
Um, I'm gonna find Mr. Shaw.
I'll be right back. Stay here.
You know who can help you find him.
Dre, yeah.
Okay, I'll be right back.
Stay, okay?
I ain't no damn puppy.
Stay.
Hey, Tatiana.
Have you seen Mr. Shaw?
No, look, I need to talk to you.
Okay, what?
Dre, Dre.
Come over here.
I gotta talk to you man.
I don't know what she sees in him.
I mean, I went to college, too.
Yeah, he graduated. You went.
Hey, man, whose side are you on?
Shut up, man.
Do I look off?
There something wrong with me?
I mean, you look how you normally look, so yeah.
Boy, I'm serious.
My neck tight, I can't swallow, my back seizing up on me.
Well, which one is it, man?
- Is it your neck or your back? - It's my neck and my back, man.
Calm down, man. Put a lid on it.
I'm in full control of my emotions.
Come on, Isaac.
- Come on, man. - What is that?
- What? - You're the normal one.
I'm the dummy that does the dumb stuff, remember?
Yeah, you're right, man.
You're the idiot.
You're the dummy, not me.
Thanks, bro.
Yeah, sorry.
Tighten up, Isaac.
What is that?
Did you let her drink brown?
Did I let her drink brown?
Go get your lady, man.
Oh, geez.
Whole system falling apart, damn.
Hmm.
You fine.
Look, I got some work stuff that came up.
- I have to head back. - Now?
Yes, you know I take my work seriously.
But you told 'em you were staying.
So, who the hell are they?
Watch out, man.
I don't need all this resistance, okay?
All those vacations I take you on aren't free.
You should have a little more respect for what I do.
I never asked you to take me anywhere.
Everything all right?
Yeah. Mark has to go.
Fine by me.
You wouldn't know anything about this, little man,
but duty calls.
You mean booty calls.
- What was that? - You heard what I said.
Look, Mark, if you have to go, just leave.
You know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do.
- I'll see you back in the city. - No, you won't.
These are good people, and they invited you into their home,
and you repay them by being a condescending ass.
So, no, you won't see me.
Get the-- sing it, girl.
Tell him.
Fine, whatever.
Your loss.
Man, watch your mouth.
- Hey, Dre, Dre. - What you wanna do?
- Bust a move. - Get back here. Stop.
Uh, not now, uh-uh. Because he--
He ain't top notch.
Anything else? Okay.
Come here often?
Can I sit?
Please.
I'm so sorry about all this.
It's so unprofessional.
It's all right.
I'm having a good time, honestly.
If this is the coming attraction,
-the wedding is going to-- -Barn burner.
You drunk, ain't ya?
I'm fine.
I'm gonna take this one home.
You guys ready?
We'll get a car.
I don't know if you've noticed,
but I've had a couple.
Been drinking that brown.
- What? No, I don't-- - You know I don't mind.
She let that tiger out.
- Okay, girl. - Come on, man.
I know when I'm a third wheel.
Dre, hmm?
- Man. - 'Kay
Bye.
They're gonna be together forever.
Let's hope so.
Need something?
Yeah.
Sorry about dude.
Don't be.
Hungry?
Nah, you?
I'm always hungry.
Make a mean bowl of Apple Jacks.
What else you got?
Tea.
You get on that, and I'll take care of the rest.
Can do.
Got us these.
What?
You really like this?
Yeah.
Are you gonna rate my food?
I know about you.
Food Gang Bang Bang.
People really like it.
Mm, that's all that matters, I guess.
This is your passion?
Mm-hmm, it's the attention it needs.
Too little, it doesn't work.
Too much, harmed it.
You have to be present.
And done.
Hungrier than you thought.
Guess so.
More?
No, I'm good.
I don't think we know anything about each other.
I think you're right.
What's your middle name?
Erica.
Tatiana Erica.
That's a lot of syllables.
You?
Mm-mm.
It's Andre?
Deandre.
If you call my parents ghetto, we gonna fight.
Got a favorite song?
Mm.
"How Does It Feel," D'Angelo.
Close.
"Voyage to Atlantis," Isley Brothers.
It's not a competition.
Morning, Jackie O.
Not today, Satan.
Satan, that's me?
You know I just be messing with you, right?
Yeah.
Good.
Oh, God.
That's what happen when you drink that Hennessy.
I don't drink Hennessy.
Thanks.
- Morning. - Good morning.
You two.
'Saac sleep?
No, he was gone when I got up,
said he had a few things to take care of.
I have a little time before dinner.
Chicago?
Yeah.
Never been.
It's one of those places that's half lovely, half not.
All my family's still there.
I'm the only one that left,
only one not married, without children.
I dropped outta college to go to culinary school,
and that didn't go over too well.
I'm a rebel, it seems.
But you do what you love.
I do.
So, how can that be rebellious?
You haven't met my family.
What?
You coulda said I don't know your family.
You said I haven't met 'em, like as in yet.
You're speaking presumptuously.
I am.
But I've met yours.
Sorry 'bout that.
You probably noticed no parents.
Car accident, mom died instantly,
dad, shortly after at the hospital.
Isaac remembers.
I don't.
I was too young.
It was tough on him.
He had an ex-wife, Isaac.
She passed.
Still not sure how to talk about it.
Do you want to?
High school sweethearts, inseparable.
She died from cancer a few years back.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be sorry for me.
Be sorry for Isaac.
He almost...
I almost lost him.
That's why I try to keep it light,
keep him from falling.
Beyond that, I don't know what to do, but I'm good now.
Monica's here.
'Cause I was tired.
I was.
She's an angel.
She saved him.
She saved both of us.
Hey, Stace.
I know you're not here.
You're up there.
It's been a while.
Too long.
I'm sure you know Monica and I are getting married.
Moved up the date.
She's not pregnant.
Just something we decided.
Oh, Dre's here.
That fool is still a nut.
But you know Dre's gonna be Dre.
I'm proud of him.
I haven't told him,
but he knows.
I was thinking about the place where we--
well, you made me go whitewater rafting.
You said I was screaming
at the top of my lungs on the rapids.
What was the name of that place, baby?
I can't remember.
I read that, um, I'm supposed to get rid of the things
that keep holding you back.
I'm down to this, baby.
I miss you so much.
I'll always love you, always.
Look, big bro, lemme get a picture.
I've been good. I haven't got one all week.
- Hurry up and take it, boy. - Thank you, man, thank you.
- Get over there with your wife. - Lemme take it.
- No, no, no. I got it. - Okay.
- I want you in it. - Okay.
- Oh, those look cute. - That's so nice, ah.
Hey, hey, hey, I can do a family, right?
Finally, you know how to take a picture, boy.
- Look, finally, right? - Right, right?
Excuse you.
Sorry.
What's going on around here?
-And the diced onions-- -Okay.
Morning.
Good morning.
Coffee?
Please.
Are you Tatiana?
Yes.
Monica wants to see you.
Okay.
Hey.
I don't know if I told you
that I, um, grew up with my cousin.
We were only nine months apart,
so for most of the year we were the same age.
When we were young, he used to play
with his toys, his wrestle men,
Macho Man, Hulk Hogan.
He loved his toys.
We were poor, so, um, he would get one of his shoes
and sit 'em inside, put their little arms up
like they were driving.
The shoe would be a car or spaceship.
He did that for a long time.
Maybe longer than he should have.
I think. I don't know.
And then one day, he just stopped.
'Cause that's how it is, right?
One day, it just stops.
I don't know where Isaac is.
What's wrong?
Where's your brother?
What do you mean?
He's not here?
- I don't-- - Oh, man.
- Where are you going? - Just keep her busy.
But I--
Oh, man.
You guys know the drill.
Today's shaping up to be a little--
I'm gonna be leaning on you more than usual.
So, for now, just start prepping for service.
I have something to take care of, and I'll be back.
Okay.
What's the bag for?
Oh, can you, uh, do me a favor?
Take my keys, go downstairs.
There's a woman. Her name's Toya.
Ask her to pull my car around back,
and she's nosy, so please don't tell her why.
Why would she need to do that?
So that I can leave without being humiliated.
I can't do that.
Please, okay, 'cause this is hard enough.
I can't do that because I believe in you two.
This is going to happen.
I mean, if you two don't work it out, God help us all.
This is going to happen.
It's all being worked out.
How?
Dre is on it.
Your big plan hinges on Dre?
This idiot.
Don't even think about it, Dre.
What are you doing?
Fishing, dummy.
You know what I'm talking about.
I can't, Dre.
Why not?
I just can't.
Paul Bunyan, don't nobody wanna hear that. Let's go.
If I gotta come out there, it's gonna be a problem.
You ain't got no gear.
You soft as cotton, so whatever.
- Who you talking to? - You, Charmin.
I got something for your ass.
- Whoa, whoa, what was that? - Fish, dummy.
Do you know how expensive these pants are?
Yeah, there ain't gonna be too many more
of these "dummy's" either.
Got something for your ass.
What's up bro?
I feel like I'm cheating on her.
Stacy?
Yeah.
I get to move on, be happy.
How's that fair?
I don't know.
Bro, she was a wonderful woman.
She had a big heart.
She would want you to be happy.
You have to let her go.
Without hesitation.
You said Monica makes you happy.
Look, if you want to get outta here, I'm with you.
We can get in my car and drive. I'm down.
But you gotta look me in my eyes
and tell me that Monica doesn't make you happy,
you're not in love with her, and you don't wanna marry her.
Can you do that?
No.
This is it.
Some people never get what you and Monica have, ever.
This is it, bro.
Come on, boy, push this thing.
I should punch you in your head for running off like that.
I didn't tell you to run off like that, Crocodile Dundee.
Come on, man.
Hey, man. Come on, man, let us through. We in a hurry.
Man, there's a water main break. It's flooded.
-You gotta turn this car around. -What?
You got to-- you don't understand English?
You got to turn the car around.
Why you got to go live in the country, man?
It's the suburbs, man. I ain't get no time for this.
Man, where you going?
My house is a half a mile away from here.
- You going on foot? - Yeah, dummy.
Hey, man, here, don't nobody touch this car.
I'm gonna sue the hell out y'all company.
Man, this is broke-ass company ain't got no money.
Cardio up, bro.
Shut up.
Lay off them weights.
Classic male overcompensation.
What you don't understand about shut up?
- Man, hurry up. - Shut up, boy.
Nobody told you go run off in the wood, like Black Jesus.
- Who you think you talking to? - I'm talking to you.
All right, okay. Big bro, hey, we got something to do.
- Yeah. - Put your clothes on.
- All right, all right. - Man.
Oh! Come on! Ah!
Hey, hey, come here.
Where have you been?
Never mind that. Where's Monica?
She's either upstairs or on a train to St. Louis.
Oh, my God.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Now's not the time for that.
Where's Isaac?
He's upstairs. He's ready. We're doing this.
- We are? - Yes.
This is so exciting.
What is exciting?
You know, all right, when this is over,
we're gonna have a little talk about your attitude,
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.
Stop.
You're ready.
She's waiting.
All right.
Love you, bro.
Love you.
- Showtime. - Showtime.
All rise, please.
You may be seated.
- We are gathered here today-- - Hold up.
Father.
I got something to say.
As a kid, you were my hero.
When I was a teenager, you were a pain in my ass.
But even when I came into my own, you were there for me.
Even at this moment,
you're my hero, big bro.
You deserve this,
all of this to be happy.
And I know Monica's up for it.
And Monica...
Thank you for things you don't even know.
I don't know what I was doing with this speech
'cause I don't know what to say.
It's a good day.
You're right.
They would be proud.
Look at us, man.
Look at us.
Hey, lemme get that for you.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Guess you had enough of my crazy family for one weekend?
My work here is done.
We didn't do half bad.
We?
I should...
Hey.
Hey, maybe I'll see you around.
You never know.
You know, you shouldn't lie to people, Dre.
You're much more than your social media says you are.
Bye, Dre.
Yo, what up? This Dre Shaw, and I just had some fire.
That ain't it, that ain't it.
Come on, Dre.
Come on.
Yo, yo, yo, what up? This is Dre Shaw.
Congratulations, Mr. Million.
You saw that?
I might have checked up on you.
That's what you wanted.
Yeah.
A million followers, but you're sitting here alone.
Not anymore.
Stay a while.
Yeah, okay.