1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,408 - I don't wanna leave, but I need food. 2 00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:13,945 Dang, no fish. 3 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,481 - Challenging place, challenging the rain, 4 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,949 Challenging the food. 5 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:19,752 - Being out here this time is a lot different 6 00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:21,887 Than being out here the first time. 7 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,822 - When things aren't within your control, 8 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,492 It makes it pretty hard to deal with. 9 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,692 - Hello, it's greg. 10 00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:28,827 - This is mark. - This is amós. 11 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:33,966 - It's callie. I am officially tapping out. 12 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,102 I'm leaving with a heart full of gratitude 13 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,906 With all the things that this land has taught me. 14 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:45,243 - I wonder who's out there, braving the storm 15 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,444 With me. 16 00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:49,848 This is one of those days that we were warned about-- 17 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:54,386 Completely crazy, life-threatening weather. 18 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,388 [wind blowing] 19 00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,192 [dramatic music] 20 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:04,062 ♪ ♪ 21 00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:07,065 Narrator: Six of "alone's" strongest participants 22 00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:09,267 Are about to face their biggest challenge yet. 23 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:13,272 - I didn't agree to do "alone" again for a suffering contest. 24 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,007 Oh, my god. 25 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,009 Narrator: With just a few supplies, they'll push 26 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:21,747 Their skills and bodies farther than ever before. 27 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,015 - Oh. Narrator: Starting later 28 00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:28,087 Than any previous season and less time to prepare. 29 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:31,490 They'll arrive just as the fierce north atlantic winter 30 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:32,558 Is about to begin. 31 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,359 - Winter's about coming. 32 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,161 Winter's here. 33 00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:39,097 Narrator: They'll battle howling winds, constant rain, 34 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,968 And north america's most fierce apex predators. 35 00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,502 - You're not gonna fight off a whole bear. 36 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,571 It's gonna eat you. 37 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,107 Narrator: Survive 50 days 38 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:51,709 And they will their share of $1/2 million dollars. 39 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,846 - It just doesn't get any worse. 40 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:58,249 Narrator: This is "alone: Frozen." 41 00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:01,320 ♪ ♪ 42 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,188 [ice cracking] 43 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:10,328 ♪ ♪ 44 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:13,198 [wind blowing] 45 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:20,005 ♪ ♪ 46 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,951 - As you can imagine, 47 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,221 Definitely not my preferred entry and exit strategy. 48 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:37,990 Ah! 49 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,761 To keep the crazy wind and snow from driving in the door, 50 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,629 I've had all built up with bows, 51 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,900 Crawling back and forth under. 52 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:51,570 It gets me coated in snow and drenched and cold, 53 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,904 And it's very daunting. 54 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,307 So I decided to work on the entranceway. 55 00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,709 ♪ ♪ 56 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,846 This is gonna be one of my uprights 57 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:05,717 For my entranceway ridge pole and support. 58 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,254 Well, it's a breaks, cuttin' trees. 59 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,656 ♪ ♪ 60 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,991 And don't wipe out the camera. 61 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:18,129 I have worked so hard in my life 62 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:21,666 To overcome the conditioning that I had as a young girl 63 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,603 That told me I wasn't capable. 64 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,406 I was thinking safety out here, 65 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,007 'cause an axe cut... 66 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,211 Is a tap out, and we don't want that. 67 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,081 [laughs] 68 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:40,152 And so being a teacher and sharing skills like this, 69 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:45,624 It feels so fulfilling to get to provide a role model 70 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,759 For young women, to show them 71 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:51,630 That they're capable of anything. 72 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:55,967 Okay, that is the last one, 73 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:59,438 And I think that's appropriate, 'cause holy cow. 74 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,841 My hands are freezing. 75 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,444 And now it's back to whiteout conditions, 76 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,013 Because it's labrador. 77 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,518 Mm-kay, that latched, 78 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:18,189 And now it can get set up. 79 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:18,991 Okay. 80 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,277 ♪ ♪ 81 00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,213 Let's see. 82 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:44,149 ♪ ♪ 83 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,217 There. 84 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:49,287 [grunting] 85 00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:50,222 ♪ ♪ 86 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:50,989 Yes! 87 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,172 Check it out. 88 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,907 Wow! 89 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:13,712 All right. Excited--I'm super gratified. 90 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:18,116 I'm gonna get some more treetops 91 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,719 And then some more bows, and this is gonna be pretty nice-- 92 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:24,790 And then getting the door in? Yeah. 93 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,258 Man, this is gonna transform life. 94 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:33,999 ♪ ♪ 95 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,739 - I wanna get out. I wanna be able to hunt today 96 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,674 And check my snares, and get out there 97 00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:45,276 And just feel, you know, good. 98 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,411 [blows] 99 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,014 [fire crackling] 100 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:58,156 Yeah, so hopefully, this will draft up and out. 101 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:00,892 Somehow, it, like, comes around and, like, blows back in. 102 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,493 It's, like, this terrible, like, reverse cycle. 103 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,963 I don't know what's-- 104 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:09,501 That's--that's my one major complaint, I guess-- 105 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,304 Would be just smokey. 106 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,240 ♪ ♪ 107 00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,175 [sighs] 108 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:22,380 My next milestone is day 40. You know, pretty major, major 109 00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,649 One for me. 110 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:25,917 You know, I hope I can make it. 111 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,454 I hope I can continue doing what I'm doing, 112 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,990 And getting enough food. 113 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:38,796 And it has occurred to me, 114 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:41,867 I would be the first female winner. 115 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:46,804 That might be significant to some young women. 116 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:50,008 That, you know, might inspire them. 117 00:06:55,215 --> 00:07:00,619 We have certain people that feel more connected to you 118 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,621 Than to other participants. 119 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:04,956 I mean, it's the same with me. 120 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,959 I remember watching woniya, and I just was, like, 121 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:12,631 Really inspired by woniya and really touched by her 122 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,967 And how she was on the land. 123 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:19,037 I'm feeling okay, physically, you know? 124 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,507 Obviously, just think about food all the time-- 125 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,842 Obsessed, really. 126 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:27,712 You know, having an actual red-meat animal 127 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,047 Is really important, I've found, 128 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,984 And it really makes a difference in my physiology. 129 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,791 I will be trying to eat some berries as I'm moving, 130 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,594 Just to get a tiny bit of calories in me, 131 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:47,265 'cause I really am very hungry. 132 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,000 ♪ ♪ 133 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:57,942 I don't think any of us is like, "yeah, I love to kill." 134 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,745 But when you're starving and you get an animal, 135 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,947 There's an honor in the connection. 136 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:07,986 It is powerful, the level of gratitude you feel. 137 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,004 Holy [bleep], it's a grouse. 138 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:38,984 [sighs] 139 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,999 Oh, no. 140 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,003 Oh, [bleep]. 141 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,414 [sighs] 142 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,282 Oh, thank god. 143 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,418 [sighs] 144 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,987 [heavy breathing] 145 00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:20,992 Holy [bleep]. 146 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,002 Dang it. 147 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:35,239 All right. 148 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,008 Okay. 149 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,511 [exhales deeply] 150 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,713 I mean, the head's off. 151 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:43,782 I cut the head off. It's dead. 152 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:49,387 It's just in its last, you know, throes. 153 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,456 That was intense. 154 00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:53,324 That was really intense. 155 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:56,194 Holy crap. 156 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,396 [sighs] 157 00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,330 Thank you, grouse. 158 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,332 Thank you, land. 159 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,200 [sniffles] 160 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,267 [sighs] 161 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:08,606 ♪ ♪ 162 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,208 This kind of meat is major. 163 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:16,815 ♪ ♪ 164 00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,283 Like, this will-- this is real food. 165 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,285 [sniffles] 166 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:26,224 ♪ ♪ 167 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,293 [sniffles] 168 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:31,696 ♪ ♪ 169 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,032 This--this could get me through. 170 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,235 The grouse returning-- this could get me through. 171 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:43,307 ♪ ♪ 172 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,911 [sniffles] 173 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:51,048 This was my chance, and I didn't blow it. 174 00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:56,253 I succeeded when I really, really needed to succeed. 175 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,990 [sighing] 176 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:02,259 It's a good day for the tiny, little hunter in me. 177 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:09,000 ♪ ♪ 178 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,336 God, it's so heavy. It's wonderful. 179 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:14,138 I'm so excited. 180 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,474 Yeah, I mean, you look at that back end, and you're like, 181 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,476 "whoo, all right." 182 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:19,744 That's a lot of meat. 183 00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:23,014 This is so important right now, 184 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,615 Because, you know, when you're at the tail end 185 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:27,152 Of your reserves, you know, 186 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,155 You really can't afford to be losing any more weight. 187 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,891 Two weeks is a long time, so this just makes me feel like-- 188 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,428 Aw man, maybe I can make it, you know? 189 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,630 Maybe I can do it. 190 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,564 You know, my stomach is, like, making, I swear to god, 191 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,567 A purring noise right now. 192 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:46,171 [laughs] that's really funny. 193 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:51,709 If I can keep maintaining and eating, then fingers crossed 194 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:54,912 I can see this thing through. 195 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:57,782 It'd be amazing to cross the finish line, 196 00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,651 And hopefully, with--with a friend, 197 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,187 With whoever's still out there. 198 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,522 Amazing. 199 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:08,393 Just absolutely amazing. 200 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,195 [wind blowing] 201 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:17,001 ♪ ♪ 202 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:31,949 ♪ ♪ 203 00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,952 - The wind is really picking up out there. 204 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:39,023 So no idea what that means and what the day holds. 205 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,025 I feel like I'm just on the edge of enough muscles 206 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,028 To make it through doing what I can to trap rabbits, 207 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,964 But these conditions are gonna be rough for that. 208 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:50,235 So I might have to let that go for a couple days. 209 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,769 We'll see. 210 00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:52,570 Never know what it's gonna be like 211 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,305 When I step out that door. 212 00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:56,908 ♪ ♪ 213 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,511 All right, and now out into a very snowy world 214 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,313 To check the trapline. 215 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:04,982 ♪ ♪ 216 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,452 Oh, my gosh, if there is something in the trapline, 217 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:08,719 That would be so amazing. 218 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,923 That would be, like, such a love song 219 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,058 That labrador could sing to me right now. 220 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:19,731 Wow, would I ever feel that. Just sayin', labrador. 221 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:24,335 Whoo. More snowy here, my goodness-- 222 00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:26,070 Knee-deep. 223 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,672 I felt like the resources were really limited 224 00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,075 In the northwest territories. 225 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,678 Now I see that I was wrong-- that it was actually 226 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,548 Incredibly abundant up there. 227 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,883 The issue for me was that 228 00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:42,019 I didn't have the best tools with me 229 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,822 To take advantage of the resources that I had. 230 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:48,560 It is pretty dang wintery out here, folks. 231 00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:51,629 [laughs] pretty dang wintery. 232 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:55,033 So I had to work my butt off 233 00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:58,903 To figure out how to catch game with paracord 234 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:02,773 And fishing line, but game was abundant. 235 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,576 Here, I have all this snare wire 236 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:10,114 And zero sign of any game. 237 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:14,986 So I'm feeling defeated to have all of the things 238 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:18,189 I need to catch small game, but no sign of them. 239 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,991 ♪ ♪ 240 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,222 [tense music] 241 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,359 ♪ ♪ 242 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,359 [rabbit squealing] 243 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,995 Sorry, I'm sorry. 244 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,234 - Sorry, beloved. 245 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,303 Ugh. 246 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,772 Oh, my goodness. 247 00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,308 I don't know how long you were here. 248 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,842 [sighs] 249 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,178 But I'm so grateful for you. [chuckles] 250 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,380 Wow. 251 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,250 Oh, my goodness. 252 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,517 Whew. 253 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,654 Well, that was intense. 254 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:24,788 [sighs] there was a rabbit 255 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:28,993 In my snare. It was caught by the leg. 256 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,529 I mean, I had to kill it by hand, but with the axe 257 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,864 And then wring its neck. 258 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,599 I'm sure you probably heard it screaming, 259 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:40,137 But I have a rabbit to eat. 260 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:45,143 I set off to walk the trapline, and I said that if I have 261 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,812 A rabbit then I'll really know that labrador loves me, 262 00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:50,014 And that I'm paying attention, labrador. 263 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:54,485 And sure enough, for the first time in many days, 264 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,753 I have a rabbit to eat. 265 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,289 What a unbelievably tremendous gift. 266 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:02,360 [wind blowing] 267 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,296 [dramatic music] 268 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:09,167 ♪ ♪ 269 00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:14,772 - Today was crazy, because the weather has been so weird. 270 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,575 This is how it looks out right now. 271 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,511 We've got flowing snow. 272 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:24,916 This is a lot, you know? 273 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,785 But there's a level of excitement there, 274 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,989 When you're getting this close, you know? 275 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:34,125 But there's also a level of, like, trepidation too, 276 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,661 'cause it's like, "oh, my god," to be so close and to not, 277 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,663 You know, potentially not cross 278 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,532 The finish line, it just makes it 279 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:45,736 Even more painful, you know? 280 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,006 Everything's encrusted in ice-- 281 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:56,014 ♪ ♪ 282 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:04,955 I'm leaving just a tiny bit of the bottom of the door open, 283 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,025 But I can hear the snow is hitting the doorway. 284 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:11,229 So that's kind of the first time it's been snowing, 285 00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:15,833 You know, into the shelter, and I think it's just gonna be, 286 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,103 You know, another one of those nights in. 287 00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:21,372 Everything's soaked, and you just kind of deal with it. 288 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,975 That's all. 289 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,242 You know, I'm just taking it one day at a time. 290 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:31,515 ♪ ♪ 291 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:35,920 All right, good morning. 292 00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:38,388 I had some real trouble with my eyes last night. 293 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:42,926 The smoke was-- 294 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,530 From the fires really, really bothered them, 295 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:50,534 And, like, closing them, 296 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,137 Especially my left eye, 297 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:57,742 You know, super red, inflamed, and even closing them-- 298 00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,011 You know, I tried rinsing with water, 299 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:03,948 And it was really painful, and the conifer smoke is-- 300 00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:06,884 It's super acrid. It's got lots of pitch in it. 301 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,888 You know, it's tar-based, so it's just not-- 302 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,823 It's not good to be inhaling into your lungs 303 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,758 And not good to have in your eyes. 304 00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:17,161 So I'm hoping my eyes clear up, 305 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:21,632 You know, as I get some fresh air and get out and my tears, 306 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:25,303 You know, start forming, and-- 307 00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:26,704 I don't-- 308 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,006 I've gotta be more careful, I guess. 309 00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,711 [sighs] 310 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:39,917 So my eye hasn't gotten any better. 311 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:44,388 I've got about half visual acuity in my left eye. 312 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,058 Everything's hazy. 313 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:51,395 So--but when I look right now, everything's blurry 314 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,731 Out of my left eye. 315 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,600 There's this haze-fog blurriness 316 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:59,870 To my whole field of vision. 317 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,540 You know, you don't wanna screw around 318 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,008 With your eyesight. 319 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:10,014 And, you know, this is not-- this isn't good. 320 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,887 ♪ ♪ 321 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:20,558 I had always made a promise to myself 322 00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,027 That, like, if you think 323 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:26,831 Something's wrong with your health or your welfare, 324 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,767 It's not worth damaging yourself, 325 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,235 And I promised my husband that. 326 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,237 ♪ ♪ 327 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,371 [sighs] 328 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,108 I am scared 329 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:42,580 That I am causing damage that will be irreparable. 330 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,183 Yeah, let me just look here. 331 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:52,056 ♪ ♪ 332 00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,658 It does look a little swollen, 333 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:59,397 You know, a little puffy and... 334 00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:03,000 I don't know. 335 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:07,004 Honestly, I gotta start a fire. It's so cold. 336 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:12,009 But-- 337 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,616 Just sitting there. 338 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:23,988 So now my eye's hurting again. 339 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:31,762 But I'm, like, freezing. 340 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:37,301 So I've got to-- got to have a fire. 341 00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:44,008 ♪ ♪ 342 00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,582 My eyes are stinging again 343 00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,784 Because of the smoke. 344 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:58,389 Yeah, I mean, they look wicked bloodshot 345 00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,125 And-- [sighs] 346 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:02,193 God. 347 00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:03,260 ♪ ♪ 348 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,329 [sighs] 349 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,264 I don't know. 350 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,466 ♪ ♪ 351 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:09,266 I don't know what to do. 352 00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:13,004 ♪ ♪ 353 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,009 It's a little scary... 354 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,614 To have something like this 355 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:27,217 Happen to one of your senses. 356 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,986 You know? 357 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:33,991 I just not--not feel... 358 00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:41,999 Confident that it's safe. 359 00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:50,908 So torn between needing to take care of yourself, 360 00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:56,313 But also wanting to go the distance, you know? 361 00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:57,514 ♪ ♪ 362 00:21:57,583 --> 00:22:00,250 Tough situation for me. 363 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:03,053 ♪ ♪ 364 00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:06,590 It's hard to, you know, accept that about yourself, 365 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,260 And it's like-- [sniffles] 366 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,260 Um... 367 00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:16,867 ♪ ♪ 368 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:20,270 That you're not quite enough for the task. 369 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:25,409 ♪ ♪ 370 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:26,276 [sighs] oh, god. 371 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,347 ♪ ♪ 372 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,982 [phone ringing] 373 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,885 - Yes? 374 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:39,356 - Hey, this is michelle. I'm gonna tap out today. 375 00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:41,992 [wind blowing] 376 00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:50,234 I'm not the strongest or the best. 377 00:22:50,303 --> 00:22:53,303 ♪ ♪ 378 00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:56,840 I'm just me. 379 00:22:56,909 --> 00:23:01,312 And, um, I'm enough for myself. [laughs] 380 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,915 ♪ ♪ 381 00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:10,053 Which is kind of a revelation. [chuckles] 382 00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:14,525 For some reason, I thought I wasn't enough, you know? 383 00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:16,594 And now, in this moment, 384 00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:20,798 I feel, like, freed from that-- 385 00:23:20,866 --> 00:23:23,667 To feel like what I am is enough-- 386 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:28,205 Like a weight is off, you know? 387 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:33,477 ♪ ♪ 388 00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:36,213 [helicopter whirring] 389 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:43,988 ♪ ♪ 390 00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:47,758 My eyes have been stinging and stinging 391 00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:49,827 And just in so much pain for hours. 392 00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:53,431 Like, they hurt. Both my eyes are killing me. 393 00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:57,701 So I just feel like-- 394 00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:58,635 You know, my dad's an optometrist. 395 00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:01,772 [laughs] he was always, like, 396 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,840 Really a stickler about the eyes. 397 00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:06,977 So I know that they're-- they heal easily, 398 00:24:07,046 --> 00:24:08,579 But I know that they're damaged easily as well. 399 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:11,515 I feel like-- [sniffles] 400 00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:13,984 If it is the smoke, 401 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:17,587 It's not gonna get any better for the next 12 days. 402 00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:19,190 It'll just get worse, and-- 403 00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:21,926 ♪ ♪ 404 00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:24,261 Yeah, I just don't-- I don't wanna risk it. 405 00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:26,997 ♪ ♪ 406 00:24:27,065 --> 00:24:31,601 And I am proud of myself. That's what I wanted. 407 00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:34,672 I became a hunter out here, 408 00:24:34,874 --> 00:24:37,874 And that was one of my big goals, 409 00:24:37,943 --> 00:24:42,412 And I wanted to be able to feed myself, 410 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,281 And I did that. 411 00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:47,217 ♪ ♪ 412 00:24:47,286 --> 00:24:48,218 So... 413 00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:50,554 ♪ ♪ 414 00:24:50,623 --> 00:24:52,222 I feel like the land and I 415 00:24:52,291 --> 00:24:54,758 ♪ ♪ 416 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:58,228 Held the dance going. [chuckles] 417 00:24:58,297 --> 00:25:01,298 ♪ ♪ 418 00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,232 And uh... 419 00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:09,573 ♪ ♪ 420 00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:12,242 It's hard to--hard to leave. 421 00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:18,983 ♪ ♪ 422 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:28,592 I feel like, all in all, I have had a lot of success, 423 00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:31,995 Which is--feels really sweet, 424 00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:36,600 'cause last time, I--I had so little success. 425 00:25:36,802 --> 00:25:38,135 Everything felt like failure, 426 00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:42,673 And here, I feel like I've been able to do some things 427 00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:45,609 That I really wanted to do, 428 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:49,279 And I felt like I belonged. 429 00:25:49,348 --> 00:25:53,750 ♪ ♪ 430 00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:59,956 Some places have power in them, 431 00:26:00,025 --> 00:26:04,294 And this place is-- I feel very old and wise 432 00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,997 And wild. 433 00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:14,004 And I feel like I'll-- I'll have it inside me always. 434 00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:24,982 ♪ ♪ 435 00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:37,728 ♪ ♪ 436 00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:42,132 - Ah! So this storm is pretty crazy. 437 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:45,736 I don't know if you can hear the wind, but it is so intense, 438 00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:50,007 And it is totally destroying my walls. 439 00:26:50,209 --> 00:26:51,875 So now I've got liquid seeping in through the walls, 440 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:55,545 Near where I have all of my dry firewood. 441 00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:58,948 I made a spool for my yarn 442 00:26:59,018 --> 00:27:01,552 To make it easier to get through these walls. 443 00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:02,819 The wind is so intense, 444 00:27:02,888 --> 00:27:04,555 It's pushed some of my insulation out, 445 00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:07,090 And so the wind is coming in. 446 00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:11,895 My plan to seal and insulate the back wall a lot better 447 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,498 Basically got squashed by the snow coming, 448 00:27:14,567 --> 00:27:17,301 So now there's more gaps. 449 00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:20,037 ♪ ♪ 450 00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:23,774 So now my wind's just coming straight down the chimney. 451 00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:26,643 Labrador doesn't mess around, people. 452 00:27:26,712 --> 00:27:27,711 And the wind is so intense, 453 00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:30,114 That the chimney isn't drying well. 454 00:27:30,182 --> 00:27:34,384 It's blowing the smoke in here, so I've got wet wood 455 00:27:34,453 --> 00:27:37,520 And lots of smoke. 456 00:27:37,589 --> 00:27:40,858 So definitely not ideal. 457 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:44,394 Ugh, I'm just getting choked out by the smoke. 458 00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:45,662 [wind blowing] 459 00:27:45,731 --> 00:27:46,863 I'm getting quite the headache 460 00:27:46,932 --> 00:27:48,999 From smoke inhalation, unfortunately. 461 00:27:50,736 --> 00:27:52,803 I've experienced smoke inhalation, 462 00:27:52,871 --> 00:27:56,072 But this is a whole different thing. 463 00:27:56,141 --> 00:27:59,877 This is the first time that I feel like it's actually 464 00:27:59,945 --> 00:28:04,281 A serious survival issue being out here. 465 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:07,084 So the only thing I can do is let my fire go out and crawl 466 00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:13,090 Into my sleeping bag and hope I don't freeze to death. 467 00:28:13,158 --> 00:28:18,628 My eyes are just on fire. The pain is pretty intense. 468 00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:21,965 I can barely keep them open. 469 00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:24,434 Looking forward to sleep-- hoping it's possible 470 00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:25,835 My eyes are so bad. 471 00:28:25,904 --> 00:28:28,638 I'm not sure how that's gonna work out, 472 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:30,707 And it's pretty uncomfortable. 473 00:28:30,776 --> 00:28:33,510 Really concerned about my eyes. 474 00:28:33,579 --> 00:28:36,780 Intense burning pain-- 475 00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:39,183 That could definitely take me out. 476 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:41,985 ♪ ♪ 477 00:28:45,391 --> 00:28:51,995 ♪ ♪ 478 00:28:59,271 --> 00:29:02,406 The morning is perhaps not quite as dire as last evening, 479 00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:05,743 But also, not great. 480 00:29:05,945 --> 00:29:08,478 My eyes were just in excruciating pain 481 00:29:08,547 --> 00:29:10,080 Most of the night. 482 00:29:10,148 --> 00:29:13,283 Still hard to keep them open, and they're blurry. 483 00:29:13,351 --> 00:29:14,818 ♪ ♪ 484 00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:18,221 I didn't foresee myself getting taken out. 485 00:29:18,290 --> 00:29:19,423 ♪ ♪ 486 00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:21,224 Felt like it was just a matter of getting through it, 487 00:29:21,293 --> 00:29:26,830 Not--you know, that if I didn't have any, like, major injuries 488 00:29:27,032 --> 00:29:29,032 Or calamities, it was gonna be no problem. 489 00:29:29,100 --> 00:29:31,969 This feels like both a major injury and calamity. 490 00:29:32,037 --> 00:29:34,771 So let's rest a little bit, try to heal up. 491 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,507 Gotta have things be better soon. 492 00:29:37,576 --> 00:29:39,442 All right, good night. 493 00:29:39,512 --> 00:29:41,377 [chuckles] again. 494 00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:44,381 [wind blowing] 495 00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:45,582 Whew, wow. 496 00:29:45,650 --> 00:29:47,851 Hello. [sniffles] 497 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,453 So I ended up going back to bed and slept 498 00:29:50,522 --> 00:29:53,123 For hours and hours. 499 00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:57,995 With my eyes doing way better, so that was really gratifying, 500 00:29:58,063 --> 00:30:02,199 And I feel like I made the right call, for sure. 501 00:30:02,401 --> 00:30:03,200 ♪ ♪ 502 00:30:03,269 --> 00:30:06,403 They look and feel a lot closer to normal. 503 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,005 [inhales deeply] 504 00:30:12,945 --> 00:30:16,947 I am ready to head out onto the ice. 505 00:30:17,016 --> 00:30:21,751 So we'll see what has happened down at the lake. 506 00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:22,686 Crossing my fingers that that will be 507 00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:25,889 An amazing new calorie source-- 508 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:29,159 Could be food for all the way to day 50. 509 00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:34,965 I'm hauling this tree out with me so that should the ice crack 510 00:30:35,033 --> 00:30:38,635 Under me, I have something to bridge the gap. 511 00:30:38,704 --> 00:30:42,306 Ready for ice fishing, people. 512 00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:45,976 ♪ ♪ 513 00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:50,113 Definitely feeling the deep hunger in my body-- 514 00:30:50,316 --> 00:30:53,783 This hunger that just goes all the way to a deep place 515 00:30:53,853 --> 00:30:55,452 In my core. I can't even describe 516 00:30:55,654 --> 00:30:56,987 Physically where it is. 517 00:30:57,056 --> 00:31:02,258 Who can resist delicious squirrel intestines, right? 518 00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:04,861 ♪ ♪ 519 00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:08,665 So much fuss and preparation to get out here, 520 00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:13,070 And then a lot of sittin' around. 521 00:31:13,272 --> 00:31:18,675 My body knows that it is really time for more calories 522 00:31:18,744 --> 00:31:21,011 And more fat than I'm getting. 523 00:31:25,083 --> 00:31:29,019 On season six, I had fishing gear at a spot 524 00:31:29,087 --> 00:31:32,089 Where I was never gonna be able to catch fish. 525 00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:36,760 Here, I have all this fishing line and zero sign 526 00:31:36,829 --> 00:31:39,830 Of any fish. So it makes it more 527 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:41,965 Of a struggle to make it through 528 00:31:42,034 --> 00:31:47,771 Without additional food for these next ten days. 529 00:31:47,973 --> 00:31:50,173 I think I'm gonna call it for the day-- 530 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:53,043 Disappointed, but with this wind, I better get off the ice 531 00:31:53,112 --> 00:31:55,979 Pretty quick, because I don't wanna get too chilled. 532 00:31:56,047 --> 00:31:58,648 Every day feels like a pretty major feat 533 00:31:58,717 --> 00:32:00,116 To get through right now. 534 00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:06,055 No question that this is the hardest experience of my life, 535 00:32:06,124 --> 00:32:10,193 And all of a sudden, it feels like serious survival. 536 00:32:10,396 --> 00:32:16,332 ♪ ♪ 537 00:32:16,401 --> 00:32:18,001 - Day 41. 538 00:32:20,005 --> 00:32:23,740 I'm starting to get that gone-cheek look 539 00:32:23,808 --> 00:32:25,475 That's familiar from season six. 540 00:32:25,543 --> 00:32:27,144 I don't like that. 541 00:32:27,346 --> 00:32:32,282 I really didn't believe in my physical capacity as a kid. 542 00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:34,885 I was in the girl scouts, and we sat around doing crafts, 543 00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:39,022 While the boy scouts went on camping trips. 544 00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:43,827 There weren't strong women in leadership roles 545 00:32:44,029 --> 00:32:46,963 In outdoor skills-- hunting, camping. 546 00:32:47,032 --> 00:32:48,698 You just didn't see it. It was kind of a given 547 00:32:48,767 --> 00:32:50,300 That that stuff was boy stuff. 548 00:32:50,368 --> 00:32:51,768 ♪ ♪ 549 00:32:51,837 --> 00:32:53,036 Any of the skills that I have now, 550 00:32:53,238 --> 00:32:57,040 I had to fight my way to those skills amidst people 551 00:32:57,242 --> 00:32:59,910 Giving me messages that those skills weren't for me. 552 00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:05,048 This life is not for the faint of heart. 553 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:08,251 I just hope to make it through these next few days. 554 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,853 ♪ ♪ 555 00:33:10,055 --> 00:33:15,591 Day 48, my body and time are winding down. 556 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,593 My energy is low, people. 557 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:21,198 It is quite low, quite low. 558 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,067 ♪ ♪ 559 00:33:24,136 --> 00:33:28,938 How moving and fulfilling it is for me to feel like 560 00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:31,608 I could be the role model for young girls 561 00:33:31,810 --> 00:33:33,943 That I wish I had had myself, 562 00:33:34,013 --> 00:33:36,546 And that's part of what gives me my strength 563 00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:38,281 To cross that finish line. 564 00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:45,021 ♪ ♪ 565 00:33:45,090 --> 00:33:48,625 There's a lot I didn't get to that I really wanted to. 566 00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:51,161 But I feel like I have achieved 567 00:33:51,230 --> 00:33:54,764 So much and fulfilled so many of my hopes and dreams for it. 568 00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:58,301 I just can't-- can't feel bad about it. 569 00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,702 [chuckles] 570 00:33:59,772 --> 00:34:02,706 Thinking a lot about the others-- 571 00:34:02,908 --> 00:34:06,242 Wondering who all is still out here. 572 00:34:06,311 --> 00:34:12,983 ♪ ♪ 573 00:34:27,866 --> 00:34:33,336 Day 50, and what a gorgeous morning! 574 00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:35,671 Oh, my goodness. 575 00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:39,609 Today, I have achieved my goal. 576 00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:44,948 Day 50, alone in labrador, 577 00:34:45,016 --> 00:34:49,486 Getting pounded by weather. Oh, my goodness. 578 00:34:49,555 --> 00:34:53,756 But, wow. Here we are. 579 00:34:53,826 --> 00:34:57,160 Hard to wrap my brain around it all. 580 00:34:57,362 --> 00:34:58,095 Whew! 581 00:34:58,297 --> 00:35:00,830 So I want to make a stone sculpture 582 00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:03,099 To give gratitude and pay homage 583 00:35:03,168 --> 00:35:07,370 To the [indistinct] people who so warmly welcomed me 584 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,239 To this land. 585 00:35:09,308 --> 00:35:13,577 ♪ ♪ 586 00:35:13,779 --> 00:35:17,247 So happy with my sculpture. 587 00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:19,982 ♪ ♪ 588 00:35:20,051 --> 00:35:24,921 I have never seen a more beautiful, wild place, 589 00:35:24,990 --> 00:35:31,728 And yet, I am so excited to be leaving it. 590 00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:34,197 It's the helicopter. It's really here. 591 00:35:34,266 --> 00:35:36,399 [laughs] 592 00:35:36,602 --> 00:35:37,601 I can't believe it. 593 00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:40,137 It's time to go face the world. 594 00:35:40,339 --> 00:35:44,407 A whole different world than the one I've been living in. 595 00:35:44,610 --> 00:35:47,210 All right, it's on. 596 00:35:47,412 --> 00:35:49,679 ♪ ♪ 597 00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:52,281 I'm about to see people again. 598 00:35:52,350 --> 00:35:53,749 ♪ ♪ 599 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:56,153 Oh, my gosh. It's good to see you. 600 00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:57,820 [laughs] 601 00:35:57,890 --> 00:36:00,823 I can't believe it. I can't believe it, 602 00:36:00,892 --> 00:36:03,159 That it's day 50. It's like a heartbeat. 603 00:36:03,228 --> 00:36:07,364 It went so fast, and then it was also the longest 50 days 604 00:36:07,566 --> 00:36:08,165 Of my entire life. 605 00:36:08,367 --> 00:36:09,900 [laughs] 606 00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:12,702 So there's just so much mixed emotion right now. 607 00:36:12,771 --> 00:36:15,638 I feel excited to be going home, 608 00:36:15,707 --> 00:36:17,907 And I'm gonna miss this place 609 00:36:17,976 --> 00:36:20,977 And this life and this experience so much, 610 00:36:21,046 --> 00:36:25,181 And I don't wanna do another storm out here, 611 00:36:25,250 --> 00:36:28,985 And I still feel strong, and I can feel my body startin' 612 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:32,989 To go downhill and it just being harder to do things, 613 00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,858 And I can see my cheeks getting more and more gaunt, 614 00:36:35,928 --> 00:36:39,795 And I don't wanna do to my body the intensity 615 00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:42,465 Of what I did last time, but it's still-- 616 00:36:42,668 --> 00:36:44,667 It's still bittersweet. 617 00:36:44,736 --> 00:36:48,004 Yeah, I actually achieved my goal. 618 00:36:48,073 --> 00:36:50,740 The last time in the arctic, I wanted to be there-- 619 00:36:50,809 --> 00:36:54,277 You are kidding me! Oh, my god! 620 00:36:54,346 --> 00:36:57,013 [laughing] 621 00:37:01,620 --> 00:37:02,952 [crying] oh, I wanted this 622 00:37:03,021 --> 00:37:04,988 To happen so bad, and I didn't think it would. 623 00:37:13,832 --> 00:37:15,999 - I have something to share with you. 624 00:37:21,039 --> 00:37:24,574 You're the only one that made it to day 50. 625 00:37:24,643 --> 00:37:28,011 I'm so proud. - [crying] 626 00:37:34,186 --> 00:37:37,720 I really wanted to walk across the threshold with them. 627 00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:39,923 - I know. - But I can't believe it. 628 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:42,392 I can't believe I made it. It was so hard. 629 00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:44,060 It was really hard. 630 00:37:44,128 --> 00:37:49,865 It is, like, heartbreaking and incredibly validating 631 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:51,934 That so many people who were so skilled 632 00:37:52,004 --> 00:37:55,405 Weren't able to do it, and I was abler to do it. 633 00:37:55,474 --> 00:37:57,741 It's just so much. 634 00:37:57,943 --> 00:38:00,010 [laughing] it's just so overwhelming. 635 00:38:01,546 --> 00:38:03,013 - It feels amazing. 636 00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:11,421 - It feels incredible. 637 00:38:11,490 --> 00:38:13,489 I'm so--like, I feel 638 00:38:13,558 --> 00:38:16,826 So incredibly grateful 639 00:38:17,028 --> 00:38:20,030 To be able to represent women in this way, 640 00:38:20,232 --> 00:38:24,100 And to show the world that we are every bit as capable. 641 00:38:24,169 --> 00:38:27,704 I've emphasized the heart and the connection and the love 642 00:38:27,773 --> 00:38:30,440 And how much being in this place 643 00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:32,909 Has been a relationship, 644 00:38:32,978 --> 00:38:34,644 And I feel like that's something really special 645 00:38:34,712 --> 00:38:37,046 That women often can bring. 646 00:38:37,115 --> 00:38:40,116 To be an influence for young women, to be a role model 647 00:38:40,184 --> 00:38:42,652 For young girls and show them what they are capable of, 648 00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,587 To be a role model that I wish 649 00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:47,990 I had had as a young woman-- 650 00:38:48,060 --> 00:38:51,995 It just--it's so powerful. It means so much to me. 651 00:38:54,533 --> 00:38:57,266 [dramatic music] 652 00:38:57,335 --> 00:39:00,937 ♪ ♪ 653 00:39:01,006 --> 00:39:04,274 That young girl who had her nose in a book 654 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:08,811 And was the last person to get chosen for elementary school 655 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:15,084 Dodgeball teams just killed it on an 656 00:39:15,153 --> 00:39:18,288 Internationally-recognized survival competition. 657 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:19,422 ♪ ♪ 658 00:39:19,624 --> 00:39:21,824 My philosophy is one 659 00:39:21,893 --> 00:39:23,893 That doesn't use the word "survival," 660 00:39:23,962 --> 00:39:26,562 Because I believe that the term "survival" 661 00:39:26,631 --> 00:39:29,032 Is a fear-based approach, 662 00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:32,902 And I prefer to think of it as wilderness living. 663 00:39:33,104 --> 00:39:35,238 The wild isn't a place that's out to get me 664 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:38,641 And that I have to escape. It's a place that I belonged, 665 00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:40,910 And so it's a "going-home." 666 00:39:40,979 --> 00:39:43,246 That's the polar opposite of survival. 667 00:39:43,315 --> 00:39:44,981 ♪ ♪ 668 00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:48,517 And I am leaving here having shown the world 669 00:39:48,586 --> 00:39:50,920 What I am capable of. 670 00:39:51,122 --> 00:39:56,526 I spent 73 days living in the arctic by myself 671 00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:58,661 On season six of "alone," 672 00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:01,197 And I just completed 50 days. 673 00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:03,065 ♪ ♪ 674 00:40:03,134 --> 00:40:06,936 That makes me the lone participant who has spent 675 00:40:07,005 --> 00:40:11,341 The most cumulative days living in the wild 676 00:40:11,543 --> 00:40:13,743 By themselves-- 677 00:40:13,945 --> 00:40:16,812 Not the first woman to do that, 678 00:40:16,881 --> 00:40:20,015 But the first person to do that. 679 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:24,220 I have worked so hard in my life to overcome 680 00:40:24,288 --> 00:40:27,423 The conditioning that I had as a young girl that told me 681 00:40:27,492 --> 00:40:29,158 I wasn't capable. 682 00:40:29,227 --> 00:40:31,961 For all of those young girls, for all of those people 683 00:40:32,029 --> 00:40:34,830 Who didn't believe enough in themselves, 684 00:40:34,899 --> 00:40:36,632 They get to identify with my journey 685 00:40:36,701 --> 00:40:38,768 And see that they are capable 686 00:40:38,837 --> 00:40:40,236 Of anything they set out to do. 687 00:40:40,305 --> 00:40:41,704 ♪ ♪ 688 00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:44,974 But there needs to be a first, 689 00:40:45,043 --> 00:40:49,979 And that opens the gates to everyone to know 690 00:40:50,048 --> 00:40:52,848 That they are just as capable as anyone else, 691 00:40:52,917 --> 00:40:55,518 And I'm really excited to get to be 692 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:58,188 The one to open that gate. 693 00:40:58,390 --> 00:41:04,994 ♪ ♪ 694 00:41:05,530 --> 00:41:08,998 [ice cracking]