1
00:00:02,583 --> 00:00:03,490
♪
2
00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:04,399
What is gout?
3
00:00:04,585 --> 00:00:06,568
Are you a 15th century
British monarch?
4
00:00:06,570 --> 00:00:06,993
No.
5
00:00:07,238 --> 00:00:08,420
You don't have it.
6
00:00:08,497 --> 00:00:08,846
Hmm.
7
00:00:09,573 --> 00:00:11,590
God, there's like
5,000 questions.
8
00:00:11,666 --> 00:00:12,665
You're a city employee now.
9
00:00:12,926 --> 00:00:15,502
Half your life is gonna be
paperwork, congrats.
10
00:00:15,504 --> 00:00:19,189
Hey, is it okay if I put you
down as my emergency contact?
11
00:00:19,266 --> 00:00:21,416
Well, since I'm the guy
most likely to harm you,
12
00:00:21,418 --> 00:00:22,693
it seems like a conflict
of interest.
13
00:00:22,770 --> 00:00:23,694
[Dispatch] Truck 12.
14
00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:25,937
Resident reporting problem
with rabbits.
15
00:00:26,014 --> 00:00:27,422
907 Maple Lane.
16
00:00:28,425 --> 00:00:32,444
Question, have subjects
been observed as... wascaly?
17
00:00:32,521 --> 00:00:33,353
[chuckles]
18
00:00:34,114 --> 00:00:35,855
[Dispatch] Are you going
or not?
19
00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:39,192
Yes. We'll hop right on over.
20
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,419
That's it, get out.
21
00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:41,603
What?
22
00:00:41,696 --> 00:00:42,454
We talked about this,
23
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:43,564
two lame jokes before coffee,
get out.
24
00:00:44,124 --> 00:00:45,941
[Shred] Wait, really?
You were serious about that?
25
00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:47,534
As a heart attack.
26
00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:50,054
Hey. Come on.
27
00:00:50,056 --> 00:00:51,638
You're taking this too far,
Frank.
28
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:56,643
You can come back!
I learned my lesson!
29
00:00:57,638 --> 00:00:59,712
No jokes before coffee!
30
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:03,216
[theme song]
31
00:01:03,218 --> 00:01:17,973
♪
32
00:01:17,975 --> 00:01:27,424
♪
33
00:01:29,578 --> 00:01:32,821
So, I've been micro-dosing
mushrooms for anxiety
34
00:01:32,823 --> 00:01:36,491
but my rabbits have gotten
into my special chocolate bars.
35
00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:39,161
Oh, that was faster
than I thought.
36
00:01:39,163 --> 00:01:41,254
This gentleman's bunnies
ate his drugs.
37
00:01:41,256 --> 00:01:43,065
They've been acting
really aggressive.
38
00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:46,668
They look pretty chill to me.
39
00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:51,949
Yeah, but in a circling
the wagon conspiratorial
sort of way.
40
00:01:51,951 --> 00:01:54,952
Look at them.
Plotting something evil.
41
00:01:54,954 --> 00:01:57,712
Okay. So the rabbits
are handling their high
42
00:01:57,714 --> 00:01:58,605
better than their owner,
43
00:01:58,866 --> 00:02:01,608
but sure, we'll take them in
for observation.
44
00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:04,353
Hey hippies!
Sorry, summer of love is over.
45
00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:06,004
Time to sleep it off downtown.
46
00:02:07,708 --> 00:02:08,781
[Frank] What is happening?
47
00:02:09,468 --> 00:02:12,027
-Hey! Ow!
-[rabbits squealing]
48
00:02:12,029 --> 00:02:14,863
Jeez! My God!
Come on! Ow!
49
00:02:14,865 --> 00:02:17,532
Retreat, retreat! Jeez!
50
00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:19,885
I told you, they're in
a very bad headspace.
51
00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:22,537
[Frank] What the hell did you
put in that chocolate?
52
00:02:22,556 --> 00:02:23,555
I used to be a cop.
53
00:02:23,707 --> 00:02:25,223
I busted international
crime rings.
54
00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:25,983
And I'm getting...
55
00:02:26,226 --> 00:02:27,133
-Hey.
-I thought you were brave.
56
00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:29,227
You guys know about this
taco truck up the street?
57
00:02:29,229 --> 00:02:31,546
The breakfast burritos...
four stars.
58
00:02:32,065 --> 00:02:33,215
What's up with
the first-aid kit?
59
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:36,051
It's, uh, killer bunnies
on recreational drugs, bro.
60
00:02:36,053 --> 00:02:37,494
Really? What kind?
61
00:02:37,571 --> 00:02:39,646
You know, like, basic,
floppy-eared, fluffy.
62
00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:41,814
No, no, the drugs.
What kinds of drugs?
63
00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:44,484
It's like psychedelic
mushrooms.
64
00:02:44,561 --> 00:02:46,561
The homeowner makes
his own chocolates.
65
00:02:46,563 --> 00:02:48,747
Really? Did he mention
if it was straight
66
00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:50,916
or if it was cut with
purity-tested MDMA?
67
00:02:50,992 --> 00:02:51,917
Did he mention that?
68
00:02:52,069 --> 00:02:53,568
Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.
69
00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:55,754
These rabbits are higher
than my uncle at Thanksgiving
70
00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:57,422
and they're calling the shots.
71
00:02:57,424 --> 00:03:00,742
Everybody relax, okay?
I got a couple rabbits at home.
72
00:03:00,744 --> 00:03:02,019
I speak fluent bunny.
73
00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:05,355
I mean, you might wanna
film this.
74
00:03:05,432 --> 00:03:07,432
Could be a valuable
teaching tool.
75
00:03:08,101 --> 00:03:10,769
Hey guys.
How are you doing?
76
00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:14,940
You know I have two rabbits
at home, Snowball and Batman.
77
00:03:15,016 --> 00:03:17,592
Yeah, we let the kids
name them.
78
00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:21,330
And they are just as cute
and adorable...
79
00:03:22,541 --> 00:03:23,932
...as you, uh-huh.
80
00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:26,192
That Phyllis,
she's the mama.
81
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,861
Oh, aren't you a little
love muffin?
82
00:03:28,863 --> 00:03:30,380
[chitters]
83
00:03:30,457 --> 00:03:31,864
[screams]
84
00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:33,550
Oh! Get off me,
you mangy bitch!
85
00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:35,293
Hey Shred, you're always trying
to be smarter.
86
00:03:35,370 --> 00:03:37,612
Look up "hoisted on
one's own petard"
87
00:03:37,614 --> 00:03:39,872
and it will literally be
a picture of this.
88
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:40,724
Argh!!!
89
00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:44,210
Uh, should we call
for backup?
90
00:03:44,288 --> 00:03:45,136
Bunny backup?
91
00:03:45,397 --> 00:03:46,788
Dude, do you have any idea
of the ridicule
92
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:47,956
that will come our way?
93
00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:49,650
No. We got this.
94
00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:54,321
Cuddle time is over.
95
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,743
[heroic music playing]
96
00:03:59,745 --> 00:04:05,791
♪
97
00:04:07,736 --> 00:04:11,237
Hey. So, we're gonna need to
collect the medicated chocolate
98
00:04:11,315 --> 00:04:15,166
for our vet so she can calibrate
an overdose treatment.
99
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,410
Right, of course.
Anything to help.
100
00:04:17,488 --> 00:04:18,428
And, um, look,
101
00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:20,430
I know I shouldn't be messing
around with drugs.
102
00:04:20,432 --> 00:04:23,249
I'm gonna turn over
a new leaf right now.
103
00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:25,418
Yeah. Drugs are bad.
104
00:04:25,496 --> 00:04:27,396
Uh, make sure you get
all of them.
105
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,424
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
106
00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:33,259
No, I'm not.
Not even a little bit.
107
00:04:33,337 --> 00:04:37,281
I suspect his bars
contain psilocybin and 2CB.
108
00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:39,283
That combination is known
to give you orgasms
109
00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:41,359
and make you feel like you've
been launched into outer space.
110
00:04:41,436 --> 00:04:44,529
And rabbits have no business
experiencing pleasure like that.
111
00:04:44,531 --> 00:04:45,680
Okay. Just remember,
112
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:47,457
you promised to watch the kids
this weekend, okay?
113
00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:48,700
And they're very excited,
114
00:04:49,036 --> 00:04:50,943
they picked out a movie
and everything, Freaky Friday.
115
00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:51,870
It's a silly premise
116
00:04:52,189 --> 00:04:53,538
but, uh, the emotion
really sneaks up on you.
117
00:04:53,615 --> 00:04:54,298
-Yeah. I...
-It does.
118
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,857
-I will be there.
-Okay.
119
00:04:55,859 --> 00:04:56,783
The chocolates are
for tonight.
120
00:04:57,044 --> 00:04:58,543
Do you remember that guy
I met in Costa Rica?
121
00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,286
Yeah. The... the yogi
or the surfer?
122
00:05:00,288 --> 00:05:01,305
The yogi.
123
00:05:01,698 --> 00:05:03,456
So, he's in town, but he's only
free for one night.
124
00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:04,549
Mmhmm.
125
00:05:04,885 --> 00:05:07,477
He's really flexible.
Just, like... not with his time.
126
00:05:07,554 --> 00:05:08,628
Right.
127
00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:10,314
Anyway, what are you guys up to
for your big date?
128
00:05:10,316 --> 00:05:12,040
Oh, we're actually gonna go eat
Swedish meatballs at Ikea.
129
00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:13,150
And test out futons.
130
00:05:13,544 --> 00:05:14,392
I know it sounds pathetic
but I'm actually really excited.
131
00:05:14,987 --> 00:05:17,487
Maya and I, we haven't been
alone together in, like, months.
132
00:05:17,489 --> 00:05:18,713
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
133
00:05:18,991 --> 00:05:21,733
Don't be insulted but I'm so
glad I don't have your life.
134
00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:24,553
Well, you're tempting fate
'cause we could end up
135
00:05:24,555 --> 00:05:26,721
accidentally eating
magic fortune cookies
136
00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:28,481
and end up switching places.
137
00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:30,983
Is that what happens
in the movie?
138
00:05:31,061 --> 00:05:32,002
I don't wanna ruin it for you.
139
00:05:32,338 --> 00:05:34,729
You just did like... like you
told me the ending.
140
00:05:34,731 --> 00:05:35,630
Maybe I didn't though.
141
00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:39,051
-Or maybe I did.
-Huh.
142
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,432
Oh, at least it's donut
Wednesday.
143
00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:50,929
What abomination is this?
144
00:05:51,005 --> 00:05:53,339
Who's day is it?
I want answers.
145
00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:54,583
I want revenge.
146
00:05:54,585 --> 00:05:56,693
Okay. But is it okay
if I have some jicama?
147
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,103
'Cause I love jicama.
148
00:05:58,179 --> 00:06:00,697
No. I want revenge.
Shout it with me.
149
00:06:00,774 --> 00:06:02,181
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
150
00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:03,258
Revenge!
151
00:06:03,518 --> 00:06:04,885
You make it sound playful.
Put some fury behind it.
152
00:06:04,961 --> 00:06:06,203
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
153
00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:07,371
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
154
00:06:07,447 --> 00:06:08,688
Revenge!
155
00:06:09,023 --> 00:06:12,292
[whispers] Shh! I'm on the phone
with my daughter's teacher.
156
00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:15,270
There's been a horrible
accident,
157
00:06:15,272 --> 00:06:16,771
I gotta call you back.
158
00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:17,697
Revenge.
159
00:06:17,699 --> 00:06:18,773
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
160
00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:19,958
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
161
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,551
Okay, I proudly take
responsibility.
162
00:06:21,628 --> 00:06:24,370
Donut Wednesday, Delores.
It's a sacred tradition.
163
00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:26,464
Handed down to us
by the Romans.
164
00:06:26,466 --> 00:06:29,134
You defiled this holy tabernacle
with your cru d'été.
165
00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:31,228
This is our tabernacle, Delores.
166
00:06:31,304 --> 00:06:33,230
Okay. This office
has a serious case
167
00:06:33,306 --> 00:06:34,881
of the late morning
sugar blues
168
00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:36,808
and someone
had to intervene.
169
00:06:36,885 --> 00:06:39,719
How dare you act unilaterally.
170
00:06:39,721 --> 00:06:42,255
It's America.
It's donuts.
171
00:06:42,332 --> 00:06:43,222
Shred, throw that away.
172
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,132
-Oh, come on.
-Throw it away.
173
00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:44,799
It's just a jicama stick.
174
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:46,559
Throw it away.
Spit it out.
175
00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:47,636
This is very disappointing.
176
00:06:47,821 --> 00:06:50,655
How's my favorite
under-performing precinct doing?
177
00:06:50,732 --> 00:06:52,565
Oh, you sad, sad man.
178
00:06:52,643 --> 00:06:55,326
You drove across town just to
make fun of us for the rabbits.
179
00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:57,312
What rabbits? I didn't
hear anything about rabbits.
180
00:06:57,314 --> 00:07:00,239
Ha! Because there were
no rabbits.
181
00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:02,667
Hey Emily.
Got your speech ready?
182
00:07:02,669 --> 00:07:03,760
Who told you about that?
183
00:07:04,154 --> 00:07:06,579
She's giving the keynote
at the AACL luncheon today.
184
00:07:06,581 --> 00:07:09,674
Whoa. I don't know what
it stands for but congrats.
185
00:07:09,676 --> 00:07:10,917
Why didn't you tell us?
186
00:07:10,994 --> 00:07:12,327
I... I just get a little nervous
187
00:07:12,329 --> 00:07:14,253
so I just wanted to keep it
under the radar.
188
00:07:14,331 --> 00:07:15,439
That's why I'm here.
189
00:07:15,515 --> 00:07:18,700
I spoke last year and,
whoo... stressful.
190
00:07:18,702 --> 00:07:20,760
And I know how much you hate
public speaking, so...
191
00:07:20,837 --> 00:07:24,189
Yeah, but I've been practicing
so I think I'll be good.
192
00:07:24,265 --> 00:07:25,431
Of course.
193
00:07:25,842 --> 00:07:27,451
No worry, it's just a couple
hundred people in the audience.
194
00:07:27,527 --> 00:07:28,601
-And, uh...
-Uh-huh.
195
00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:30,603
They film it and post it
on their website
196
00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:31,788
and it's up there forever.
197
00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:34,291
So, nobody looks at it.
[whispers] Yes, they do.
198
00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:36,293
I watched your speech,
Templeton.
199
00:07:36,295 --> 00:07:38,795
-Several times, so funny.
-Big fan.
200
00:07:38,872 --> 00:07:41,690
What kind of truck does
a pig drive?
201
00:07:41,692 --> 00:07:42,799
A hambulance.
202
00:07:42,801 --> 00:07:43,950
Ah, that line killed.
203
00:07:44,027 --> 00:07:45,451
[laughs]
204
00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:47,378
Anyway, uh, happy to step in
for you
205
00:07:47,455 --> 00:07:50,215
and I promise you the audience
will not be disappointed.
206
00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:51,549
Thank you so much.
207
00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:53,793
Uh, but shouldn't you be
on patrol or something?
208
00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:55,203
Heading out now.
209
00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:57,222
Oh! What's that?
210
00:07:57,816 --> 00:08:02,068
Looks like I have an email
that is stuck in my outbox.
211
00:08:03,322 --> 00:08:05,322
-Boom!
-[phone alerts chiming]
212
00:08:05,398 --> 00:08:07,215
Fixed it. Enjoy.
213
00:08:07,642 --> 00:08:11,661
A gleefully vindictive message
from Officer Templeton Dutch.
214
00:08:11,738 --> 00:08:13,980
That jerk got a hold of
our body-cam footage.
215
00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:15,907
Oh, he did know about
the rabbits.
216
00:08:15,984 --> 00:08:16,741
[Frank] Ugh.
217
00:08:17,077 --> 00:08:17,984
[Delores] Look at you guys
running away
218
00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:19,728
from the li'l rabbits!
219
00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:20,653
We were regrouping!
220
00:08:20,914 --> 00:08:22,355
Are you... are you...
are you kidding me?!
221
00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:24,991
What... what are these,
green peppers?!
222
00:08:24,993 --> 00:08:26,826
Okay. I support healthy choices,
Delores,
223
00:08:26,903 --> 00:08:28,586
but it is donut Wednesday.
224
00:08:28,663 --> 00:08:32,557
I am stressed and I need sugar
so you need to fix this.
225
00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:34,909
Revenge!
226
00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:36,269
[all in unison]
Revenge!
227
00:08:37,856 --> 00:08:40,524
[Emily attempting
to breathe calmly]
228
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,417
Hey. Hey.
229
00:08:42,419 --> 00:08:43,693
Try not to let Templeton
get in your head.
230
00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:47,680
Oh yeah, uh, too late.
Uh, he is... he is in there.
231
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:48,698
Okay, listen.
232
00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:51,442
I used to get really nervous
before big competitions.
233
00:08:51,519 --> 00:08:52,761
Like, it got bad.
234
00:08:53,038 --> 00:08:55,280
So I remember my coach hooked me
up with this sports psychologist
235
00:08:55,356 --> 00:08:57,690
who gave me some cool
relaxation techniques.
236
00:08:57,768 --> 00:08:59,376
If you wanna try.
237
00:08:59,378 --> 00:09:00,526
Okay.
238
00:09:00,604 --> 00:09:01,436
-Yeah?
-Yeah, okay.
239
00:09:01,621 --> 00:09:03,362
'Cause my heart is um...
really pounding.
240
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,623
Okay. Um, so, close
your eyes.
241
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:06,716
Yeah.
242
00:09:07,127 --> 00:09:10,795
Take a deep breath and imagine
yourself on a mountain.
243
00:09:10,872 --> 00:09:12,055
Now, you're about
to start a race
244
00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:13,890
against this big-ass Swiss dude.
245
00:09:13,892 --> 00:09:16,208
Wait. No. Sorry.
246
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:18,562
Visualize yourself giving
the speech.
247
00:09:18,638 --> 00:09:22,715
Confident, calm, looking
super fly in your business suit
248
00:09:22,717 --> 00:09:25,293
and the crowd is loving it.
249
00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:30,407
They're chanting your name.
Emily! Emily! Emily!
250
00:09:30,483 --> 00:09:32,391
Well, it's a professional
conference
251
00:09:32,393 --> 00:09:34,911
so there's not really
a whole lot of chanting.
252
00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:36,246
No chanting?
253
00:09:36,323 --> 00:09:38,489
-No.
-That's too bad.
254
00:09:38,491 --> 00:09:40,658
Okay. Then just
visualize yourself
255
00:09:40,735 --> 00:09:42,902
absolutely crushing the speech.
256
00:09:42,979 --> 00:09:44,087
Okay.
257
00:09:45,832 --> 00:09:47,340
How's your heart rate?
258
00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:52,762
It is actually better.
[laughs]
259
00:09:52,839 --> 00:09:54,598
You're gonna medal for sure.
260
00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:01,346
Oh, um... remind me.
261
00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:04,423
In my outfit you said
I looked, um...
262
00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:05,333
Super fly.
263
00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:07,402
Super fly.
Right, okay.
264
00:10:13,510 --> 00:10:15,360
♪
265
00:10:15,436 --> 00:10:17,770
[Shred] Okay. Only one
big question left.
266
00:10:17,848 --> 00:10:22,125
Who's going to step up
and be my emergency contact?
267
00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:24,018
Don't you have family
you can ask?
268
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:26,296
My dad died and my mom
moved to Florida.
269
00:10:26,373 --> 00:10:28,690
But she's got a sweet condo
on the beach
270
00:10:28,692 --> 00:10:31,376
and she says any time I wanna
bring down my emergency contact
271
00:10:31,378 --> 00:10:33,695
for a little sand and sea,
she has a room waiting.
272
00:10:33,697 --> 00:10:36,139
Oh. Well, I hope you and that
guy without boundaries
273
00:10:36,216 --> 00:10:37,866
have fun with your mom.
274
00:10:37,868 --> 00:10:40,885
No! No, no, no, no, no,
no, no!
275
00:10:40,962 --> 00:10:44,463
Guys, who ate one of
my chocolate bars?
276
00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:46,224
There were three
and now there's two.
277
00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:48,059
And they were hidden
way at the back
278
00:10:48,136 --> 00:10:49,468
with my frickin' name on it.
279
00:10:49,546 --> 00:10:51,437
If your name's on it,
that's sacrosanct.
280
00:10:51,472 --> 00:10:52,656
You can look that word up,
Shred.
281
00:10:52,658 --> 00:10:53,639
[whispers] Sacrosanct...
282
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,492
Although I did eat Patel's
ice cream bar.
283
00:10:55,568 --> 00:10:58,828
What? I was saving that
for my end of the week treat!
284
00:10:58,905 --> 00:11:00,388
Oh, you were
intolerable yesterday.
285
00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:01,647
It demanded a response.
286
00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:04,559
Why? Because I said the Mariners
don't have a shot this year?
287
00:11:04,561 --> 00:11:06,411
Say it again and you can kiss
your tuna sandwich goodbye.
288
00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:07,578
The Mariners don't have
a shot this year.
289
00:11:07,655 --> 00:11:09,247
Oh, that tuna sandwich
is gonna taste...
290
00:11:09,323 --> 00:11:10,064
The Mariners
don't have a shot.
291
00:11:10,324 --> 00:11:11,749
The Mariners
don't have a shot...
292
00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:12,734
Okay, I think we're done here.
293
00:11:12,844 --> 00:11:15,236
I need to know who ate
my chocolate bar.
294
00:11:15,238 --> 00:11:16,495
Shred, check the waste
baskets now.
295
00:11:16,573 --> 00:11:17,422
Thanks. Great.
296
00:11:17,498 --> 00:11:18,756
Uh, those chocolate bars
were laced
297
00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,850
with high-grade hallucinogenics.
298
00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:22,427
Have you seen double rainbow?
299
00:11:22,503 --> 00:11:24,521
Someone's about to be 10 times
more like that guy
300
00:11:24,597 --> 00:11:25,671
than that guy was.
301
00:11:25,749 --> 00:11:27,982
Hey. Did Emily make it back?
302
00:11:29,269 --> 00:11:30,435
Uh... I'm not sure.
303
00:11:30,511 --> 00:11:31,361
I was gonna give her
a ride
304
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,604
but she ran off after
her presentation.
305
00:11:33,757 --> 00:11:34,731
Um... can this wait?
306
00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:37,367
It's just, we're in the middle
of a bit of a crisis.
307
00:11:37,444 --> 00:11:40,261
It's just weird because
her speech went so well.
308
00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:42,764
She was funny,
talking off the cuff...
309
00:11:42,782 --> 00:11:45,450
she even sang at one point.
310
00:11:45,526 --> 00:11:47,118
Oh God.
311
00:11:47,195 --> 00:11:48,828
Emily ate the chocolate.
312
00:11:48,905 --> 00:11:49,954
All of it?
313
00:11:49,956 --> 00:11:51,464
It looks that way, yeah.
314
00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:53,216
Code red.
315
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:54,884
My thin mints are missing,
gone without a trace.
316
00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:56,127
She's binging.
317
00:11:56,204 --> 00:11:57,946
Actually, I threw
the cookies out.
318
00:11:57,948 --> 00:11:59,130
You'll thank me later.
319
00:11:59,391 --> 00:12:02,374
Actually, I will not thank you.
I will not thank you, Delores!
320
00:12:02,452 --> 00:12:06,304
I want my own refrigerator.
'Kay?
321
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,398
Delores, I want
my own refrigerator!
322
00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:13,628
So, who's your emergency
contact?
323
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:14,720
My father.
324
00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:16,631
Aww, I didn't know you were
close with your dad.
325
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:18,390
We're not.
I hate that son of a bitch.
326
00:12:18,468 --> 00:12:19,801
Then why did you choose him?
327
00:12:19,803 --> 00:12:21,894
Well, if something happens
to me, he's on the hook.
328
00:12:21,972 --> 00:12:22,895
With any luck,
329
00:12:23,081 --> 00:12:25,749
I'll be a vegetable
requiring 24-hour care.
330
00:12:25,751 --> 00:12:28,659
That makes me sad, bro.
My dad was my best friend.
331
00:12:28,736 --> 00:12:29,919
Yeah, of course he was.
332
00:12:29,996 --> 00:12:31,829
My only regret is I never
got to tell him
333
00:12:31,831 --> 00:12:33,089
how much he meant to me.
334
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,665
I mean, he probably knew
because I told him
335
00:12:34,742 --> 00:12:35,592
I loved him every day.
336
00:12:35,594 --> 00:12:36,667
Except when my phone died,
337
00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:38,762
which happened a lot when I was
competing in Europe
338
00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:41,155
'cause I didn't have
the right plugs.
339
00:12:41,157 --> 00:12:43,749
Point is... don't leave
things unsaid.
340
00:12:43,751 --> 00:12:45,310
Call your dad.
341
00:12:47,255 --> 00:12:48,830
You know, they make those
three-in-one adapters.
342
00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:50,589
They have for years.
343
00:12:50,591 --> 00:12:51,566
Really?
344
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:54,778
Now I have two regrets.
345
00:12:54,854 --> 00:12:57,522
[Dispatch] Truck 12. Pet python
escaped its enclosure.
346
00:12:57,598 --> 00:12:59,431
7276 South Kenwood.
347
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:01,859
And get this.
It's JT Wallace's house.
348
00:13:01,936 --> 00:13:03,845
Holy crap. JT Wallace.
349
00:13:03,847 --> 00:13:05,013
Oh, who's that?
350
00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,347
Are you serious?
351
00:13:06,349 --> 00:13:08,458
The wide receiver
for the Seahawks?
352
00:13:08,535 --> 00:13:11,277
In what world could I have been
your emergency contact?
353
00:13:11,354 --> 00:13:12,278
Get out.
354
00:13:12,539 --> 00:13:13,797
[Shred] What, really?
We're doing this again?
355
00:13:13,799 --> 00:13:15,507
I'm not... I can't even
look at you.
356
00:13:20,955 --> 00:13:22,430
Don't look at me!
357
00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,810
[Victoria] How the hell
are we gonna find her?
358
00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:27,811
I don't know.
359
00:13:28,204 --> 00:13:29,128
It's just like looking
for someone's lost mutt.
360
00:13:29,648 --> 00:13:33,207
Oh, so we put out some beef
strips and stand behind a bush?
361
00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:34,542
I know you're kidding
but do you have beef strips?
362
00:13:34,544 --> 00:13:35,376
Everything I was gonna eat today
363
00:13:35,562 --> 00:13:36,302
got senselessly ripped away
from me.
364
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:39,322
No. I don't eat gassy foods
on sex days.
365
00:13:39,399 --> 00:13:40,824
Ooh, how's it going
with the yogi by the way?
366
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:41,974
Do you like him?
367
00:13:42,052 --> 00:13:43,359
As a person?
368
00:13:43,436 --> 00:13:45,161
He's done so much healing
369
00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:47,146
he's healed himself right out of
an actual personality.
370
00:13:47,223 --> 00:13:49,648
But in bed, and I say this
as someone
371
00:13:49,726 --> 00:13:52,001
with a sufficiently large
sample pool,
372
00:13:52,003 --> 00:13:53,670
-Mmmhmm.
-uh, he's detail-oriented.
373
00:13:53,672 --> 00:13:55,229
Hmm.
374
00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:56,673
I used to be detail-oriented.
375
00:13:56,749 --> 00:13:59,158
That was before I was tired
all the time.
376
00:13:59,235 --> 00:14:02,403
Maybe you should try
some of this.
377
00:14:02,405 --> 00:14:03,571
-No.
-I'll give you a little.
378
00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:04,255
No. I can't eat that.
379
00:14:04,498 --> 00:14:05,740
Yes, you can.
Give it a shot.
380
00:14:05,742 --> 00:14:07,408
It makes everything feel amazing
381
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:08,593
and you're not really doing
anything different.
382
00:14:08,669 --> 00:14:10,019
It's almost like cheating.
383
00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:11,596
My life's not built for that.
384
00:14:11,598 --> 00:14:14,357
Every night I'm taking a kid
to the ER.
385
00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:16,417
Or talking another one down
from a nightmare.
386
00:14:16,419 --> 00:14:18,344
Last night it was
global warming.
387
00:14:18,346 --> 00:14:21,013
I can't discuss polar ice caps
all high and horny.
388
00:14:21,091 --> 00:14:23,366
Oh, my God.
Is that Emily?
389
00:14:23,443 --> 00:14:25,351
[cheering]
390
00:14:25,428 --> 00:14:31,332
[chanting]
Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!
391
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:38,423
Even Seahawk colors.
392
00:14:41,369 --> 00:14:42,610
Sheesh. You almost beat me.
393
00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:44,554
Yeah. Asher knows
all the shortcuts.
394
00:14:44,556 --> 00:14:47,281
Hey, good luck
with your girlfriend, buddy.
395
00:14:47,283 --> 00:14:48,892
I sincerely hope everything
works out.
396
00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:50,602
[Girlfriend] Thank God
you're here. Hurry!
397
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,731
He was cleaning the cage.
398
00:14:55,808 --> 00:14:57,400
Holy crap.
399
00:14:57,477 --> 00:14:58,568
It's huge.
400
00:14:59,053 --> 00:14:59,903
Frank, have you ever dealt with
something like this before?
401
00:14:59,905 --> 00:15:01,462
No. And I can't tell you
how much,
402
00:15:01,464 --> 00:15:03,555
but something that's not nothing
just slipped out of me
403
00:15:03,633 --> 00:15:04,799
and into my underwear.
404
00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:06,392
It's getting tighter.
405
00:15:06,469 --> 00:15:08,394
Just remain calm, we're gonna
unwind it from you.
406
00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:09,804
Shred, grab the head.
407
00:15:09,806 --> 00:15:12,231
I'm not grabbing the head, man.
It's scary and gross.
408
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,066
The Seahawks have a very shallow
depth chart,
409
00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:14,900
now grab the head.
410
00:15:14,978 --> 00:15:15,977
I'm not touching that thing.
411
00:15:16,237 --> 00:15:17,979
I was led to believe
this job was mostly dogs.
412
00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:18,996
Help him!
413
00:15:19,257 --> 00:15:21,666
This thing is super strong.
Grab something, Shred.
414
00:15:21,742 --> 00:15:23,334
Okay. But I'm closing my eyes.
415
00:15:23,411 --> 00:15:25,577
Is this a bad time to tell you
that I'm a big fan?
416
00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:26,654
[JT] Yes.
417
00:15:26,656 --> 00:15:28,489
Okay. Well, it would just
seem phony
418
00:15:28,491 --> 00:15:29,915
if I didn't say anything, right?
419
00:15:29,993 --> 00:15:31,768
Listen, man, you get
this thing off me,
420
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:32,769
I'll sign anything you want.
421
00:15:32,845 --> 00:15:34,437
Really? How about a football?
422
00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:35,605
-Yes.
-How about a jersey?
423
00:15:35,682 --> 00:15:36,347
-Yes.
-A helmet?
424
00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:37,440
Yes.
425
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:39,333
What about one of those
breast cancer awareness hats-
426
00:15:39,335 --> 00:15:40,851
-Anything!
-That are collectible.
427
00:15:40,928 --> 00:15:42,445
[gasps]
428
00:15:43,281 --> 00:15:45,490
Yeah. I thought I was gonna die.
429
00:15:47,118 --> 00:15:49,193
[groaning]
Okay, yeah, yeah...
430
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:52,438
Oh, my God.
It's on me now.
431
00:15:52,515 --> 00:15:55,083
If I don't make it...
beat the Rams.
432
00:15:58,946 --> 00:15:59,778
[Victoria] Oh, my god.
433
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:02,540
Emily! Hey!
How's it going, girl?
434
00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,300
Oh, man. You are really good
out there.
435
00:16:04,377 --> 00:16:05,526
What'd you play
in high school?
436
00:16:05,528 --> 00:16:07,453
-Yeah.
-What are you guys doing here?
437
00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:08,696
Uh, we, we just, uh...
438
00:16:08,698 --> 00:16:10,715
we just came to take you back
to the office.
439
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:11,808
To the office.
440
00:16:11,884 --> 00:16:16,370
Oh. No. I'm not going back.
441
00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:18,889
Yeah. I'm...
I'm never going back.
442
00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:20,483
Bye!
443
00:16:20,485 --> 00:16:22,151
Oh, I hate running.
444
00:16:22,228 --> 00:16:24,395
-Emily! Emily!
-Emily!!
445
00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:25,321
My god, she's out of control.
446
00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:27,156
[Patel] Hello! Emily! Slow down!
Stop guys!
447
00:16:27,191 --> 00:16:27,973
Guys, guys, stop her!
448
00:16:28,142 --> 00:16:29,975
Whoo!
My whole body's buzzing.
449
00:16:29,977 --> 00:16:31,569
I've never felt more alive!
450
00:16:31,645 --> 00:16:33,554
Dude, that snake had plans
for you.
451
00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:34,555
A brush with death
452
00:16:34,815 --> 00:16:37,149
and an encounter with
a world-class athlete.
453
00:16:37,227 --> 00:16:39,335
Okay. That's obviously
a little bit hurtful.
454
00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:42,563
I came in 7th at Pyeongchang
but I know it's a niche sport.
455
00:16:42,565 --> 00:16:45,583
Listen, don't get needy but
you were pretty good back there.
456
00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:46,342
Really?
457
00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:47,343
You're already being needy.
458
00:16:47,679 --> 00:16:49,661
I won't say another word.
Except that after this,
459
00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:52,590
I can't imagine being in battle
with anyone else.
460
00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:54,183
Snake brothers forever!
461
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:56,060
Oh, 100 percent did this
to myself.
462
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,003
-Again?
-Give me those forms.
463
00:16:58,264 --> 00:17:00,765
-What? What did I do?
-Give me those forms.
464
00:17:00,841 --> 00:17:03,359
-You'll be my emergency contact?
-Give them to me.
465
00:17:03,436 --> 00:17:06,937
Don't get hurt 'cause I'm
pulling the plug for anything.
466
00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:08,281
Ooooh!
467
00:17:09,868 --> 00:17:10,849
Alright!
468
00:17:10,851 --> 00:17:11,534
Whoo!
469
00:17:11,611 --> 00:17:12,535
Whoo!
470
00:17:12,929 --> 00:17:15,429
[Emily] I'm finally coming out
of my cocoon!
471
00:17:15,431 --> 00:17:16,706
[Victoria] You're high on drugs!
472
00:17:16,783 --> 00:17:19,116
No, I'm high on life!
473
00:17:19,193 --> 00:17:21,693
[Victoria] Life can't do that,
that's why we have drugs.
474
00:17:21,771 --> 00:17:22,861
-[Emily] Ah!
-[Victoria] Yes!
475
00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:24,455
[Victoria] No, No.
476
00:17:24,573 --> 00:17:25,506
Oh, here we go.
477
00:17:28,553 --> 00:17:29,443
I mean, I went to Vienna once
478
00:17:29,703 --> 00:17:32,446
but I mostly just stayed
in the hotel.
479
00:17:32,448 --> 00:17:34,390
Like, what was I afraid of?
480
00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:37,393
Mmhmm.
I can't do this anymore.
481
00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:39,896
I am afraid of so many things.
482
00:17:39,972 --> 00:17:40,454
What does that mean?
483
00:17:40,456 --> 00:17:40,955
You can go.
484
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:41,806
This is my fault anyway
485
00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:42,881
and I've done this, like,
a hundred times.
486
00:17:43,551 --> 00:17:47,904
Listen, if you need anything,
anything at all,
487
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,405
just don't call me.
488
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,240
Bye Emily.
489
00:17:51,317 --> 00:17:54,726
Oh, bye- whoa, you have
gorgeous teeth.
490
00:17:54,728 --> 00:17:58,306
[laughing]
Thank you. Okay.
491
00:17:58,308 --> 00:18:03,586
Wait. Did you know I can name
every country in South America?
492
00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:04,587
No, I didn't.
493
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:07,423
-Okay. Um, I can.
-Okay.
494
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,740
-Venezuela.
-Yeah.
495
00:18:08,742 --> 00:18:10,093
-Ecuador.
-I deserve this.
496
00:18:10,169 --> 00:18:11,577
Colombia, Paraguay.
497
00:18:11,654 --> 00:18:12,970
[knocking]
498
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,102
Oh, look what the cat
dragged in.
499
00:18:19,178 --> 00:18:21,420
It's nice to see you
too, Dad.
500
00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:25,015
Look, um... I had a near-death
experience today
501
00:18:25,092 --> 00:18:29,761
and, I don't know, I don't wanna
die with things left unsaid.
502
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:31,505
I'm listening.
503
00:18:31,507 --> 00:18:32,873
Anyway, I just wanted you
to know
504
00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:34,358
that you're a terrible father
505
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:38,079
who never had my back and
I want you to rot in hell.
506
00:18:42,352 --> 00:18:45,686
So that's it.
Those are the two items.
507
00:18:45,688 --> 00:18:47,521
Well look, uh...
you came this far,
508
00:18:47,523 --> 00:18:49,781
at least come in
and have a beer.
509
00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:50,858
Did you just hear what I said?
510
00:18:51,118 --> 00:18:54,712
Yeah. Bad father and, uh...
the rotting thing.
511
00:18:54,788 --> 00:18:56,389
You want a beer or not?
512
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:58,866
What kind you got?
513
00:18:59,202 --> 00:19:02,461
Rainier. I've been drinking
the same beer since I was 12.
514
00:19:02,538 --> 00:19:04,372
You too good for Rainier now?
515
00:19:04,374 --> 00:19:06,816
I've always been too good
for Rainier.
516
00:19:06,893 --> 00:19:08,300
What are you, like, 100 now?
517
00:19:09,045 --> 00:19:11,970
French Guyana.
Regular Guyana. Chile.
518
00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:13,230
[knocking on door]
519
00:19:13,307 --> 00:19:14,048
Argentina.
520
00:19:14,159 --> 00:19:15,140
Hang on,
I have to get that.
521
00:19:15,218 --> 00:19:15,974
Wait. No, please don't
leave me.
522
00:19:16,235 --> 00:19:17,326
No, you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
523
00:19:17,478 --> 00:19:18,477
Eat your cereal.
524
00:19:18,738 --> 00:19:20,538
Sorry, I don't have any milk.
I know it's dry.
525
00:19:21,666 --> 00:19:22,723
Hi.
526
00:19:22,725 --> 00:19:23,649
I'm so happy to see you.
527
00:19:23,726 --> 00:19:25,059
Yeah, you too.
528
00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:25,943
As a tantric exercise
529
00:19:26,171 --> 00:19:28,171
I've abstained from sex
for three months.
530
00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:31,415
I intend to focus all that
stored-up energy on you.
531
00:19:31,492 --> 00:19:34,251
[Emily] Suriname!
I forgot Suriname.
532
00:19:34,328 --> 00:19:35,511
-Uh...
-Who's that?
533
00:19:35,588 --> 00:19:38,572
Is she going to participate
or... just watch?
534
00:19:38,574 --> 00:19:40,241
No. There was an office fridge
mix up
535
00:19:40,243 --> 00:19:42,243
and now she's in
another dimension.
536
00:19:42,245 --> 00:19:45,095
Uh... I'm gonna have to stay
here and take care of her.
537
00:19:45,172 --> 00:19:49,192
But when she comes down
I could text you.
538
00:19:49,268 --> 00:19:51,435
Three months is
a really long time
539
00:19:51,512 --> 00:19:54,271
and I have a few other friends
in Seattle.
540
00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:56,032
But I'll be back in August.
541
00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:57,849
Bye Victoria.
542
00:19:57,851 --> 00:19:59,493
'Kay. Bye. Cool.
543
00:20:01,188 --> 00:20:03,831
-Can I tell you something?
-Yeah. Of course.
544
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,599
I only got my job
545
00:20:05,859 --> 00:20:09,378
because of connections
in the mayor's office, so...
546
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:12,289
I don't deserve it,
I'm a fraud.
547
00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:14,291
That's not true.
That's the drugs talking.
548
00:20:14,368 --> 00:20:16,293
Everyone thinks you're great.
549
00:20:16,370 --> 00:20:19,555
-Really?
-Yeah. You're great.
550
00:20:19,632 --> 00:20:20,723
You're my best friend.
551
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,726
Oh, okay.
That's... that's really nice.
552
00:20:23,803 --> 00:20:24,727
[phone ringing]
553
00:20:24,804 --> 00:20:25,561
Hang on.
554
00:20:26,397 --> 00:20:27,212
Hello?
555
00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:28,122
Oh, you were right.
556
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:30,474
These chocolates
are a game-changer.
557
00:20:30,551 --> 00:20:32,476
Maya called her mom,
she picked up the kids,
558
00:20:32,478 --> 00:20:34,478
we got the whole night
to ourselves.
559
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,648
Wait. Are you seriously
calling me post sex?
560
00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:39,759
Yeah, post.
Pre. Pre-pre.
561
00:20:39,761 --> 00:20:40,651
You never know.
562
00:20:40,970 --> 00:20:42,561
Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need
to hold me.
563
00:20:42,638 --> 00:20:44,705
I'm starting to panic
about climate change.
564
00:20:45,975 --> 00:20:49,326
Oh, my God.
We ate the fortune cookies.
565
00:20:49,403 --> 00:20:51,979
Oh, and they were
mighty delicious.
566
00:20:51,998 --> 00:20:53,756
Freaky Friday baby!
567
00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:57,334
-[Emily] ♪ Always count on me
-Oh boy.
568
00:20:57,411 --> 00:20:58,502
[Emily] Hello Mister Mayor.
569
00:20:58,579 --> 00:21:02,172
♪ Keep turning,
oh, keep smiling, ♪
570
00:21:02,249 --> 00:21:05,935
♪ knowing you can
always count on me. ♪
571
00:21:05,937 --> 00:21:07,511
♪ Everybody!
For sure! ♪
572
00:21:07,588 --> 00:21:09,605
Oh, I'm going really,
really wide with this.
573
00:21:09,682 --> 00:21:11,665
♪ That's what friends are for.
574
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,276
Adopt these dogs!