1 00:00:02,583 --> 00:00:03,490 ♪ 2 00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:04,399 What is gout? 3 00:00:04,585 --> 00:00:06,568 Are you a 15th century British monarch? 4 00:00:06,570 --> 00:00:06,993 No. 5 00:00:07,238 --> 00:00:08,420 You don't have it. 6 00:00:08,497 --> 00:00:08,846 Hmm. 7 00:00:09,573 --> 00:00:11,590 God, there's like 5,000 questions. 8 00:00:11,666 --> 00:00:12,665 You're a city employee now. 9 00:00:12,926 --> 00:00:15,502 Half your life is gonna be paperwork, congrats. 10 00:00:15,504 --> 00:00:19,189 Hey, is it okay if I put you down as my emergency contact? 11 00:00:19,266 --> 00:00:21,416 Well, since I'm the guy most likely to harm you, 12 00:00:21,418 --> 00:00:22,693 it seems like a conflict of interest. 13 00:00:22,770 --> 00:00:23,694 [Dispatch] Truck 12. 14 00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:25,937 Resident reporting problem with rabbits. 15 00:00:26,014 --> 00:00:27,422 907 Maple Lane. 16 00:00:28,425 --> 00:00:32,444 Question, have subjects been observed as... wascaly? 17 00:00:32,521 --> 00:00:33,353 [chuckles] 18 00:00:34,114 --> 00:00:35,855 [Dispatch] Are you going or not? 19 00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:39,192 Yes. We'll hop right on over. 20 00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,419 That's it, get out. 21 00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:41,603 What? 22 00:00:41,696 --> 00:00:42,454 We talked about this, 23 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:43,564 two lame jokes before coffee, get out. 24 00:00:44,124 --> 00:00:45,941 [Shred] Wait, really? You were serious about that? 25 00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:47,534 As a heart attack. 26 00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:50,054 Hey. Come on. 27 00:00:50,056 --> 00:00:51,638 You're taking this too far, Frank. 28 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:56,643 You can come back! I learned my lesson! 29 00:00:57,638 --> 00:00:59,712 No jokes before coffee! 30 00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:03,216 [theme song] 31 00:01:03,218 --> 00:01:17,973 ♪ 32 00:01:17,975 --> 00:01:27,424 ♪ 33 00:01:29,578 --> 00:01:32,821 So, I've been micro-dosing mushrooms for anxiety 34 00:01:32,823 --> 00:01:36,491 but my rabbits have gotten into my special chocolate bars. 35 00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:39,161 Oh, that was faster than I thought. 36 00:01:39,163 --> 00:01:41,254 This gentleman's bunnies ate his drugs. 37 00:01:41,256 --> 00:01:43,065 They've been acting really aggressive. 38 00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:46,668 They look pretty chill to me. 39 00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:51,949 Yeah, but in a circling the wagon conspiratorial sort of way. 40 00:01:51,951 --> 00:01:54,952 Look at them. Plotting something evil. 41 00:01:54,954 --> 00:01:57,712 Okay. So the rabbits are handling their high 42 00:01:57,714 --> 00:01:58,605 better than their owner, 43 00:01:58,866 --> 00:02:01,608 but sure, we'll take them in for observation. 44 00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:04,353 Hey hippies! Sorry, summer of love is over. 45 00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:06,004 Time to sleep it off downtown. 46 00:02:07,708 --> 00:02:08,781 [Frank] What is happening? 47 00:02:09,468 --> 00:02:12,027 -Hey! Ow! -[rabbits squealing] 48 00:02:12,029 --> 00:02:14,863 Jeez! My God! Come on! Ow! 49 00:02:14,865 --> 00:02:17,532 Retreat, retreat! Jeez! 50 00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:19,885 I told you, they're in a very bad headspace. 51 00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:22,537 [Frank] What the hell did you put in that chocolate? 52 00:02:22,556 --> 00:02:23,555 I used to be a cop. 53 00:02:23,707 --> 00:02:25,223 I busted international crime rings. 54 00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:25,983 And I'm getting... 55 00:02:26,226 --> 00:02:27,133 -Hey. -I thought you were brave. 56 00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:29,227 You guys know about this taco truck up the street? 57 00:02:29,229 --> 00:02:31,546 The breakfast burritos... four stars. 58 00:02:32,065 --> 00:02:33,215 What's up with the first-aid kit? 59 00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:36,051 It's, uh, killer bunnies on recreational drugs, bro. 60 00:02:36,053 --> 00:02:37,494 Really? What kind? 61 00:02:37,571 --> 00:02:39,646 You know, like, basic, floppy-eared, fluffy. 62 00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:41,814 No, no, the drugs. What kinds of drugs? 63 00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:44,484 It's like psychedelic mushrooms. 64 00:02:44,561 --> 00:02:46,561 The homeowner makes his own chocolates. 65 00:02:46,563 --> 00:02:48,747 Really? Did he mention if it was straight 66 00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:50,916 or if it was cut with purity-tested MDMA? 67 00:02:50,992 --> 00:02:51,917 Did he mention that? 68 00:02:52,069 --> 00:02:53,568 Look, this isn't Bonnaroo. 69 00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:55,754 These rabbits are higher than my uncle at Thanksgiving 70 00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:57,422 and they're calling the shots. 71 00:02:57,424 --> 00:03:00,742 Everybody relax, okay? I got a couple rabbits at home. 72 00:03:00,744 --> 00:03:02,019 I speak fluent bunny. 73 00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:05,355 I mean, you might wanna film this. 74 00:03:05,432 --> 00:03:07,432 Could be a valuable teaching tool. 75 00:03:08,101 --> 00:03:10,769 Hey guys. How are you doing? 76 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:14,940 You know I have two rabbits at home, Snowball and Batman. 77 00:03:15,016 --> 00:03:17,592 Yeah, we let the kids name them. 78 00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:21,330 And they are just as cute and adorable... 79 00:03:22,541 --> 00:03:23,932 ...as you, uh-huh. 80 00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:26,192 That Phyllis, she's the mama. 81 00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,861 Oh, aren't you a little love muffin? 82 00:03:28,863 --> 00:03:30,380 [chitters] 83 00:03:30,457 --> 00:03:31,864 [screams] 84 00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:33,550 Oh! Get off me, you mangy bitch! 85 00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:35,293 Hey Shred, you're always trying to be smarter. 86 00:03:35,370 --> 00:03:37,612 Look up "hoisted on one's own petard" 87 00:03:37,614 --> 00:03:39,872 and it will literally be a picture of this. 88 00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:40,724 Argh!!! 89 00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:44,210 Uh, should we call for backup? 90 00:03:44,288 --> 00:03:45,136 Bunny backup? 91 00:03:45,397 --> 00:03:46,788 Dude, do you have any idea of the ridicule 92 00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:47,956 that will come our way? 93 00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:49,650 No. We got this. 94 00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:54,321 Cuddle time is over. 95 00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,743 [heroic music playing] 96 00:03:59,745 --> 00:04:05,791 ♪ 97 00:04:07,736 --> 00:04:11,237 Hey. So, we're gonna need to collect the medicated chocolate 98 00:04:11,315 --> 00:04:15,166 for our vet so she can calibrate an overdose treatment. 99 00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,410 Right, of course. Anything to help. 100 00:04:17,488 --> 00:04:18,428 And, um, look, 101 00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:20,430 I know I shouldn't be messing around with drugs. 102 00:04:20,432 --> 00:04:23,249 I'm gonna turn over a new leaf right now. 103 00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:25,418 Yeah. Drugs are bad. 104 00:04:25,496 --> 00:04:27,396 Uh, make sure you get all of them. 105 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,424 You should be ashamed of yourself. 106 00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:33,259 No, I'm not. Not even a little bit. 107 00:04:33,337 --> 00:04:37,281 I suspect his bars contain psilocybin and 2CB. 108 00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:39,283 That combination is known to give you orgasms 109 00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:41,359 and make you feel like you've been launched into outer space. 110 00:04:41,436 --> 00:04:44,529 And rabbits have no business experiencing pleasure like that. 111 00:04:44,531 --> 00:04:45,680 Okay. Just remember, 112 00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:47,457 you promised to watch the kids this weekend, okay? 113 00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:48,700 And they're very excited, 114 00:04:49,036 --> 00:04:50,943 they picked out a movie and everything, Freaky Friday. 115 00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:51,870 It's a silly premise 116 00:04:52,189 --> 00:04:53,538 but, uh, the emotion really sneaks up on you. 117 00:04:53,615 --> 00:04:54,298 -Yeah. I... -It does. 118 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,857 -I will be there. -Okay. 119 00:04:55,859 --> 00:04:56,783 The chocolates are for tonight. 120 00:04:57,044 --> 00:04:58,543 Do you remember that guy I met in Costa Rica? 121 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,286 Yeah. The... the yogi or the surfer? 122 00:05:00,288 --> 00:05:01,305 The yogi. 123 00:05:01,698 --> 00:05:03,456 So, he's in town, but he's only free for one night. 124 00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:04,549 Mmhmm. 125 00:05:04,885 --> 00:05:07,477 He's really flexible. Just, like... not with his time. 126 00:05:07,554 --> 00:05:08,628 Right. 127 00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:10,314 Anyway, what are you guys up to for your big date? 128 00:05:10,316 --> 00:05:12,040 Oh, we're actually gonna go eat Swedish meatballs at Ikea. 129 00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:13,150 And test out futons. 130 00:05:13,544 --> 00:05:14,392 I know it sounds pathetic but I'm actually really excited. 131 00:05:14,987 --> 00:05:17,487 Maya and I, we haven't been alone together in, like, months. 132 00:05:17,489 --> 00:05:18,713 -Yeah. -Yeah. 133 00:05:18,991 --> 00:05:21,733 Don't be insulted but I'm so glad I don't have your life. 134 00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:24,553 Well, you're tempting fate 'cause we could end up 135 00:05:24,555 --> 00:05:26,721 accidentally eating magic fortune cookies 136 00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:28,481 and end up switching places. 137 00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:30,983 Is that what happens in the movie? 138 00:05:31,061 --> 00:05:32,002 I don't wanna ruin it for you. 139 00:05:32,338 --> 00:05:34,729 You just did like... like you told me the ending. 140 00:05:34,731 --> 00:05:35,630 Maybe I didn't though. 141 00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:39,051 -Or maybe I did. -Huh. 142 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,432 Oh, at least it's donut Wednesday. 143 00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:50,929 What abomination is this? 144 00:05:51,005 --> 00:05:53,339 Who's day is it? I want answers. 145 00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:54,583 I want revenge. 146 00:05:54,585 --> 00:05:56,693 Okay. But is it okay if I have some jicama? 147 00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,103 'Cause I love jicama. 148 00:05:58,179 --> 00:06:00,697 No. I want revenge. Shout it with me. 149 00:06:00,774 --> 00:06:02,181 -Revenge! -Revenge! 150 00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:03,258 Revenge! 151 00:06:03,518 --> 00:06:04,885 You make it sound playful. Put some fury behind it. 152 00:06:04,961 --> 00:06:06,203 -Revenge! -Revenge! 153 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:07,371 -Revenge! -Revenge! 154 00:06:07,447 --> 00:06:08,688 Revenge! 155 00:06:09,023 --> 00:06:12,292 [whispers] Shh! I'm on the phone with my daughter's teacher. 156 00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:15,270 There's been a horrible accident, 157 00:06:15,272 --> 00:06:16,771 I gotta call you back. 158 00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:17,697 Revenge. 159 00:06:17,699 --> 00:06:18,773 -Revenge! -Revenge! 160 00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:19,958 -Revenge! -Revenge! 161 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,551 Okay, I proudly take responsibility. 162 00:06:21,628 --> 00:06:24,370 Donut Wednesday, Delores. It's a sacred tradition. 163 00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:26,464 Handed down to us by the Romans. 164 00:06:26,466 --> 00:06:29,134 You defiled this holy tabernacle with your cru d'été. 165 00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:31,228 This is our tabernacle, Delores. 166 00:06:31,304 --> 00:06:33,230 Okay. This office has a serious case 167 00:06:33,306 --> 00:06:34,881 of the late morning sugar blues 168 00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:36,808 and someone had to intervene. 169 00:06:36,885 --> 00:06:39,719 How dare you act unilaterally. 170 00:06:39,721 --> 00:06:42,255 It's America. It's donuts. 171 00:06:42,332 --> 00:06:43,222 Shred, throw that away. 172 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,132 -Oh, come on. -Throw it away. 173 00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:44,799 It's just a jicama stick. 174 00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:46,559 Throw it away. Spit it out. 175 00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:47,636 This is very disappointing. 176 00:06:47,821 --> 00:06:50,655 How's my favorite under-performing precinct doing? 177 00:06:50,732 --> 00:06:52,565 Oh, you sad, sad man. 178 00:06:52,643 --> 00:06:55,326 You drove across town just to make fun of us for the rabbits. 179 00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:57,312 What rabbits? I didn't hear anything about rabbits. 180 00:06:57,314 --> 00:07:00,239 Ha! Because there were no rabbits. 181 00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:02,667 Hey Emily. Got your speech ready? 182 00:07:02,669 --> 00:07:03,760 Who told you about that? 183 00:07:04,154 --> 00:07:06,579 She's giving the keynote at the AACL luncheon today. 184 00:07:06,581 --> 00:07:09,674 Whoa. I don't know what it stands for but congrats. 185 00:07:09,676 --> 00:07:10,917 Why didn't you tell us? 186 00:07:10,994 --> 00:07:12,327 I... I just get a little nervous 187 00:07:12,329 --> 00:07:14,253 so I just wanted to keep it under the radar. 188 00:07:14,331 --> 00:07:15,439 That's why I'm here. 189 00:07:15,515 --> 00:07:18,700 I spoke last year and, whoo... stressful. 190 00:07:18,702 --> 00:07:20,760 And I know how much you hate public speaking, so... 191 00:07:20,837 --> 00:07:24,189 Yeah, but I've been practicing so I think I'll be good. 192 00:07:24,265 --> 00:07:25,431 Of course. 193 00:07:25,842 --> 00:07:27,451 No worry, it's just a couple hundred people in the audience. 194 00:07:27,527 --> 00:07:28,601 -And, uh... -Uh-huh. 195 00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:30,603 They film it and post it on their website 196 00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:31,788 and it's up there forever. 197 00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:34,291 So, nobody looks at it. [whispers] Yes, they do. 198 00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:36,293 I watched your speech, Templeton. 199 00:07:36,295 --> 00:07:38,795 -Several times, so funny. -Big fan. 200 00:07:38,872 --> 00:07:41,690 What kind of truck does a pig drive? 201 00:07:41,692 --> 00:07:42,799 A hambulance. 202 00:07:42,801 --> 00:07:43,950 Ah, that line killed. 203 00:07:44,027 --> 00:07:45,451 [laughs] 204 00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:47,378 Anyway, uh, happy to step in for you 205 00:07:47,455 --> 00:07:50,215 and I promise you the audience will not be disappointed. 206 00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:51,549 Thank you so much. 207 00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:53,793 Uh, but shouldn't you be on patrol or something? 208 00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:55,203 Heading out now. 209 00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:57,222 Oh! What's that? 210 00:07:57,816 --> 00:08:02,068 Looks like I have an email that is stuck in my outbox. 211 00:08:03,322 --> 00:08:05,322 -Boom! -[phone alerts chiming] 212 00:08:05,398 --> 00:08:07,215 Fixed it. Enjoy. 213 00:08:07,642 --> 00:08:11,661 A gleefully vindictive message from Officer Templeton Dutch. 214 00:08:11,738 --> 00:08:13,980 That jerk got a hold of our body-cam footage. 215 00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:15,907 Oh, he did know about the rabbits. 216 00:08:15,984 --> 00:08:16,741 [Frank] Ugh. 217 00:08:17,077 --> 00:08:17,984 [Delores] Look at you guys running away 218 00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:19,728 from the li'l rabbits! 219 00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:20,653 We were regrouping! 220 00:08:20,914 --> 00:08:22,355 Are you... are you... are you kidding me?! 221 00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:24,991 What... what are these, green peppers?! 222 00:08:24,993 --> 00:08:26,826 Okay. I support healthy choices, Delores, 223 00:08:26,903 --> 00:08:28,586 but it is donut Wednesday. 224 00:08:28,663 --> 00:08:32,557 I am stressed and I need sugar so you need to fix this. 225 00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:34,909 Revenge! 226 00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:36,269 [all in unison] Revenge! 227 00:08:37,856 --> 00:08:40,524 [Emily attempting to breathe calmly] 228 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,417 Hey. Hey. 229 00:08:42,419 --> 00:08:43,693 Try not to let Templeton get in your head. 230 00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:47,680 Oh yeah, uh, too late. Uh, he is... he is in there. 231 00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:48,698 Okay, listen. 232 00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:51,442 I used to get really nervous before big competitions. 233 00:08:51,519 --> 00:08:52,761 Like, it got bad. 234 00:08:53,038 --> 00:08:55,280 So I remember my coach hooked me up with this sports psychologist 235 00:08:55,356 --> 00:08:57,690 who gave me some cool relaxation techniques. 236 00:08:57,768 --> 00:08:59,376 If you wanna try. 237 00:08:59,378 --> 00:09:00,526 Okay. 238 00:09:00,604 --> 00:09:01,436 -Yeah? -Yeah, okay. 239 00:09:01,621 --> 00:09:03,362 'Cause my heart is um... really pounding. 240 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,623 Okay. Um, so, close your eyes. 241 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:06,716 Yeah. 242 00:09:07,127 --> 00:09:10,795 Take a deep breath and imagine yourself on a mountain. 243 00:09:10,872 --> 00:09:12,055 Now, you're about to start a race 244 00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:13,890 against this big-ass Swiss dude. 245 00:09:13,892 --> 00:09:16,208 Wait. No. Sorry. 246 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:18,562 Visualize yourself giving the speech. 247 00:09:18,638 --> 00:09:22,715 Confident, calm, looking super fly in your business suit 248 00:09:22,717 --> 00:09:25,293 and the crowd is loving it. 249 00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:30,407 They're chanting your name. Emily! Emily! Emily! 250 00:09:30,483 --> 00:09:32,391 Well, it's a professional conference 251 00:09:32,393 --> 00:09:34,911 so there's not really a whole lot of chanting. 252 00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:36,246 No chanting? 253 00:09:36,323 --> 00:09:38,489 -No. -That's too bad. 254 00:09:38,491 --> 00:09:40,658 Okay. Then just visualize yourself 255 00:09:40,735 --> 00:09:42,902 absolutely crushing the speech. 256 00:09:42,979 --> 00:09:44,087 Okay. 257 00:09:45,832 --> 00:09:47,340 How's your heart rate? 258 00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:52,762 It is actually better. [laughs] 259 00:09:52,839 --> 00:09:54,598 You're gonna medal for sure. 260 00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:01,346 Oh, um... remind me. 261 00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:04,423 In my outfit you said I looked, um... 262 00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:05,333 Super fly. 263 00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:07,402 Super fly. Right, okay. 264 00:10:13,510 --> 00:10:15,360 ♪ 265 00:10:15,436 --> 00:10:17,770 [Shred] Okay. Only one big question left. 266 00:10:17,848 --> 00:10:22,125 Who's going to step up and be my emergency contact? 267 00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:24,018 Don't you have family you can ask? 268 00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:26,296 My dad died and my mom moved to Florida. 269 00:10:26,373 --> 00:10:28,690 But she's got a sweet condo on the beach 270 00:10:28,692 --> 00:10:31,376 and she says any time I wanna bring down my emergency contact 271 00:10:31,378 --> 00:10:33,695 for a little sand and sea, she has a room waiting. 272 00:10:33,697 --> 00:10:36,139 Oh. Well, I hope you and that guy without boundaries 273 00:10:36,216 --> 00:10:37,866 have fun with your mom. 274 00:10:37,868 --> 00:10:40,885 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 275 00:10:40,962 --> 00:10:44,463 Guys, who ate one of my chocolate bars? 276 00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:46,224 There were three and now there's two. 277 00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:48,059 And they were hidden way at the back 278 00:10:48,136 --> 00:10:49,468 with my frickin' name on it. 279 00:10:49,546 --> 00:10:51,437 If your name's on it, that's sacrosanct. 280 00:10:51,472 --> 00:10:52,656 You can look that word up, Shred. 281 00:10:52,658 --> 00:10:53,639 [whispers] Sacrosanct... 282 00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,492 Although I did eat Patel's ice cream bar. 283 00:10:55,568 --> 00:10:58,828 What? I was saving that for my end of the week treat! 284 00:10:58,905 --> 00:11:00,388 Oh, you were intolerable yesterday. 285 00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:01,647 It demanded a response. 286 00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:04,559 Why? Because I said the Mariners don't have a shot this year? 287 00:11:04,561 --> 00:11:06,411 Say it again and you can kiss your tuna sandwich goodbye. 288 00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:07,578 The Mariners don't have a shot this year. 289 00:11:07,655 --> 00:11:09,247 Oh, that tuna sandwich is gonna taste... 290 00:11:09,323 --> 00:11:10,064 The Mariners don't have a shot. 291 00:11:10,324 --> 00:11:11,749 The Mariners don't have a shot... 292 00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:12,734 Okay, I think we're done here. 293 00:11:12,844 --> 00:11:15,236 I need to know who ate my chocolate bar. 294 00:11:15,238 --> 00:11:16,495 Shred, check the waste baskets now. 295 00:11:16,573 --> 00:11:17,422 Thanks. Great. 296 00:11:17,498 --> 00:11:18,756 Uh, those chocolate bars were laced 297 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,850 with high-grade hallucinogenics. 298 00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:22,427 Have you seen double rainbow? 299 00:11:22,503 --> 00:11:24,521 Someone's about to be 10 times more like that guy 300 00:11:24,597 --> 00:11:25,671 than that guy was. 301 00:11:25,749 --> 00:11:27,982 Hey. Did Emily make it back? 302 00:11:29,269 --> 00:11:30,435 Uh... I'm not sure. 303 00:11:30,511 --> 00:11:31,361 I was gonna give her a ride 304 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,604 but she ran off after her presentation. 305 00:11:33,757 --> 00:11:34,731 Um... can this wait? 306 00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:37,367 It's just, we're in the middle of a bit of a crisis. 307 00:11:37,444 --> 00:11:40,261 It's just weird because her speech went so well. 308 00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:42,764 She was funny, talking off the cuff... 309 00:11:42,782 --> 00:11:45,450 she even sang at one point. 310 00:11:45,526 --> 00:11:47,118 Oh God. 311 00:11:47,195 --> 00:11:48,828 Emily ate the chocolate. 312 00:11:48,905 --> 00:11:49,954 All of it? 313 00:11:49,956 --> 00:11:51,464 It looks that way, yeah. 314 00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:53,216 Code red. 315 00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:54,884 My thin mints are missing, gone without a trace. 316 00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:56,127 She's binging. 317 00:11:56,204 --> 00:11:57,946 Actually, I threw the cookies out. 318 00:11:57,948 --> 00:11:59,130 You'll thank me later. 319 00:11:59,391 --> 00:12:02,374 Actually, I will not thank you. I will not thank you, Delores! 320 00:12:02,452 --> 00:12:06,304 I want my own refrigerator. 'Kay? 321 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,398 Delores, I want my own refrigerator! 322 00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:13,628 So, who's your emergency contact? 323 00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:14,720 My father. 324 00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:16,631 Aww, I didn't know you were close with your dad. 325 00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:18,390 We're not. I hate that son of a bitch. 326 00:12:18,468 --> 00:12:19,801 Then why did you choose him? 327 00:12:19,803 --> 00:12:21,894 Well, if something happens to me, he's on the hook. 328 00:12:21,972 --> 00:12:22,895 With any luck, 329 00:12:23,081 --> 00:12:25,749 I'll be a vegetable requiring 24-hour care. 330 00:12:25,751 --> 00:12:28,659 That makes me sad, bro. My dad was my best friend. 331 00:12:28,736 --> 00:12:29,919 Yeah, of course he was. 332 00:12:29,996 --> 00:12:31,829 My only regret is I never got to tell him 333 00:12:31,831 --> 00:12:33,089 how much he meant to me. 334 00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,665 I mean, he probably knew because I told him 335 00:12:34,742 --> 00:12:35,592 I loved him every day. 336 00:12:35,594 --> 00:12:36,667 Except when my phone died, 337 00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:38,762 which happened a lot when I was competing in Europe 338 00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:41,155 'cause I didn't have the right plugs. 339 00:12:41,157 --> 00:12:43,749 Point is... don't leave things unsaid. 340 00:12:43,751 --> 00:12:45,310 Call your dad. 341 00:12:47,255 --> 00:12:48,830 You know, they make those three-in-one adapters. 342 00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:50,589 They have for years. 343 00:12:50,591 --> 00:12:51,566 Really? 344 00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:54,778 Now I have two regrets. 345 00:12:54,854 --> 00:12:57,522 [Dispatch] Truck 12. Pet python escaped its enclosure. 346 00:12:57,598 --> 00:12:59,431 7276 South Kenwood. 347 00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:01,859 And get this. It's JT Wallace's house. 348 00:13:01,936 --> 00:13:03,845 Holy crap. JT Wallace. 349 00:13:03,847 --> 00:13:05,013 Oh, who's that? 350 00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,347 Are you serious? 351 00:13:06,349 --> 00:13:08,458 The wide receiver for the Seahawks? 352 00:13:08,535 --> 00:13:11,277 In what world could I have been your emergency contact? 353 00:13:11,354 --> 00:13:12,278 Get out. 354 00:13:12,539 --> 00:13:13,797 [Shred] What, really? We're doing this again? 355 00:13:13,799 --> 00:13:15,507 I'm not... I can't even look at you. 356 00:13:20,955 --> 00:13:22,430 Don't look at me! 357 00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,810 [Victoria] How the hell are we gonna find her? 358 00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:27,811 I don't know. 359 00:13:28,204 --> 00:13:29,128 It's just like looking for someone's lost mutt. 360 00:13:29,648 --> 00:13:33,207 Oh, so we put out some beef strips and stand behind a bush? 361 00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:34,542 I know you're kidding but do you have beef strips? 362 00:13:34,544 --> 00:13:35,376 Everything I was gonna eat today 363 00:13:35,562 --> 00:13:36,302 got senselessly ripped away from me. 364 00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:39,322 No. I don't eat gassy foods on sex days. 365 00:13:39,399 --> 00:13:40,824 Ooh, how's it going with the yogi by the way? 366 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:41,974 Do you like him? 367 00:13:42,052 --> 00:13:43,359 As a person? 368 00:13:43,436 --> 00:13:45,161 He's done so much healing 369 00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:47,146 he's healed himself right out of an actual personality. 370 00:13:47,223 --> 00:13:49,648 But in bed, and I say this as someone 371 00:13:49,726 --> 00:13:52,001 with a sufficiently large sample pool, 372 00:13:52,003 --> 00:13:53,670 -Mmmhmm. -uh, he's detail-oriented. 373 00:13:53,672 --> 00:13:55,229 Hmm. 374 00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:56,673 I used to be detail-oriented. 375 00:13:56,749 --> 00:13:59,158 That was before I was tired all the time. 376 00:13:59,235 --> 00:14:02,403 Maybe you should try some of this. 377 00:14:02,405 --> 00:14:03,571 -No. -I'll give you a little. 378 00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:04,255 No. I can't eat that. 379 00:14:04,498 --> 00:14:05,740 Yes, you can. Give it a shot. 380 00:14:05,742 --> 00:14:07,408 It makes everything feel amazing 381 00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:08,593 and you're not really doing anything different. 382 00:14:08,669 --> 00:14:10,019 It's almost like cheating. 383 00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:11,596 My life's not built for that. 384 00:14:11,598 --> 00:14:14,357 Every night I'm taking a kid to the ER. 385 00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:16,417 Or talking another one down from a nightmare. 386 00:14:16,419 --> 00:14:18,344 Last night it was global warming. 387 00:14:18,346 --> 00:14:21,013 I can't discuss polar ice caps all high and horny. 388 00:14:21,091 --> 00:14:23,366 Oh, my God. Is that Emily? 389 00:14:23,443 --> 00:14:25,351 [cheering] 390 00:14:25,428 --> 00:14:31,332 [chanting] Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily! 391 00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:38,423 Even Seahawk colors. 392 00:14:41,369 --> 00:14:42,610 Sheesh. You almost beat me. 393 00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:44,554 Yeah. Asher knows all the shortcuts. 394 00:14:44,556 --> 00:14:47,281 Hey, good luck with your girlfriend, buddy. 395 00:14:47,283 --> 00:14:48,892 I sincerely hope everything works out. 396 00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:50,602 [Girlfriend] Thank God you're here. Hurry! 397 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,731 He was cleaning the cage. 398 00:14:55,808 --> 00:14:57,400 Holy crap. 399 00:14:57,477 --> 00:14:58,568 It's huge. 400 00:14:59,053 --> 00:14:59,903 Frank, have you ever dealt with something like this before? 401 00:14:59,905 --> 00:15:01,462 No. And I can't tell you how much, 402 00:15:01,464 --> 00:15:03,555 but something that's not nothing just slipped out of me 403 00:15:03,633 --> 00:15:04,799 and into my underwear. 404 00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:06,392 It's getting tighter. 405 00:15:06,469 --> 00:15:08,394 Just remain calm, we're gonna unwind it from you. 406 00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:09,804 Shred, grab the head. 407 00:15:09,806 --> 00:15:12,231 I'm not grabbing the head, man. It's scary and gross. 408 00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,066 The Seahawks have a very shallow depth chart, 409 00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:14,900 now grab the head. 410 00:15:14,978 --> 00:15:15,977 I'm not touching that thing. 411 00:15:16,237 --> 00:15:17,979 I was led to believe this job was mostly dogs. 412 00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:18,996 Help him! 413 00:15:19,257 --> 00:15:21,666 This thing is super strong. Grab something, Shred. 414 00:15:21,742 --> 00:15:23,334 Okay. But I'm closing my eyes. 415 00:15:23,411 --> 00:15:25,577 Is this a bad time to tell you that I'm a big fan? 416 00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:26,654 [JT] Yes. 417 00:15:26,656 --> 00:15:28,489 Okay. Well, it would just seem phony 418 00:15:28,491 --> 00:15:29,915 if I didn't say anything, right? 419 00:15:29,993 --> 00:15:31,768 Listen, man, you get this thing off me, 420 00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:32,769 I'll sign anything you want. 421 00:15:32,845 --> 00:15:34,437 Really? How about a football? 422 00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:35,605 -Yes. -How about a jersey? 423 00:15:35,682 --> 00:15:36,347 -Yes. -A helmet? 424 00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:37,440 Yes. 425 00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:39,333 What about one of those breast cancer awareness hats- 426 00:15:39,335 --> 00:15:40,851 -Anything! -That are collectible. 427 00:15:40,928 --> 00:15:42,445 [gasps] 428 00:15:43,281 --> 00:15:45,490 Yeah. I thought I was gonna die. 429 00:15:47,118 --> 00:15:49,193 [groaning] Okay, yeah, yeah... 430 00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:52,438 Oh, my God. It's on me now. 431 00:15:52,515 --> 00:15:55,083 If I don't make it... beat the Rams. 432 00:15:58,946 --> 00:15:59,778 [Victoria] Oh, my god. 433 00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:02,540 Emily! Hey! How's it going, girl? 434 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,300 Oh, man. You are really good out there. 435 00:16:04,377 --> 00:16:05,526 What'd you play in high school? 436 00:16:05,528 --> 00:16:07,453 -Yeah. -What are you guys doing here? 437 00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:08,696 Uh, we, we just, uh... 438 00:16:08,698 --> 00:16:10,715 we just came to take you back to the office. 439 00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:11,808 To the office. 440 00:16:11,884 --> 00:16:16,370 Oh. No. I'm not going back. 441 00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:18,889 Yeah. I'm... I'm never going back. 442 00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:20,483 Bye! 443 00:16:20,485 --> 00:16:22,151 Oh, I hate running. 444 00:16:22,228 --> 00:16:24,395 -Emily! Emily! -Emily!! 445 00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:25,321 My god, she's out of control. 446 00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:27,156 [Patel] Hello! Emily! Slow down! Stop guys! 447 00:16:27,191 --> 00:16:27,973 Guys, guys, stop her! 448 00:16:28,142 --> 00:16:29,975 Whoo! My whole body's buzzing. 449 00:16:29,977 --> 00:16:31,569 I've never felt more alive! 450 00:16:31,645 --> 00:16:33,554 Dude, that snake had plans for you. 451 00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:34,555 A brush with death 452 00:16:34,815 --> 00:16:37,149 and an encounter with a world-class athlete. 453 00:16:37,227 --> 00:16:39,335 Okay. That's obviously a little bit hurtful. 454 00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:42,563 I came in 7th at Pyeongchang but I know it's a niche sport. 455 00:16:42,565 --> 00:16:45,583 Listen, don't get needy but you were pretty good back there. 456 00:16:45,585 --> 00:16:46,342 Really? 457 00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:47,343 You're already being needy. 458 00:16:47,679 --> 00:16:49,661 I won't say another word. Except that after this, 459 00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:52,590 I can't imagine being in battle with anyone else. 460 00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:54,183 Snake brothers forever! 461 00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:56,060 Oh, 100 percent did this to myself. 462 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,003 -Again? -Give me those forms. 463 00:16:58,264 --> 00:17:00,765 -What? What did I do? -Give me those forms. 464 00:17:00,841 --> 00:17:03,359 -You'll be my emergency contact? -Give them to me. 465 00:17:03,436 --> 00:17:06,937 Don't get hurt 'cause I'm pulling the plug for anything. 466 00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:08,281 Ooooh! 467 00:17:09,868 --> 00:17:10,849 Alright! 468 00:17:10,851 --> 00:17:11,534 Whoo! 469 00:17:11,611 --> 00:17:12,535 Whoo! 470 00:17:12,929 --> 00:17:15,429 [Emily] I'm finally coming out of my cocoon! 471 00:17:15,431 --> 00:17:16,706 [Victoria] You're high on drugs! 472 00:17:16,783 --> 00:17:19,116 No, I'm high on life! 473 00:17:19,193 --> 00:17:21,693 [Victoria] Life can't do that, that's why we have drugs. 474 00:17:21,771 --> 00:17:22,861 -[Emily] Ah! -[Victoria] Yes! 475 00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:24,455 [Victoria] No, No. 476 00:17:24,573 --> 00:17:25,506 Oh, here we go. 477 00:17:28,553 --> 00:17:29,443 I mean, I went to Vienna once 478 00:17:29,703 --> 00:17:32,446 but I mostly just stayed in the hotel. 479 00:17:32,448 --> 00:17:34,390 Like, what was I afraid of? 480 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:37,393 Mmhmm. I can't do this anymore. 481 00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:39,896 I am afraid of so many things. 482 00:17:39,972 --> 00:17:40,454 What does that mean? 483 00:17:40,456 --> 00:17:40,955 You can go. 484 00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:41,806 This is my fault anyway 485 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:42,881 and I've done this, like, a hundred times. 486 00:17:43,551 --> 00:17:47,904 Listen, if you need anything, anything at all, 487 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,405 just don't call me. 488 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,240 Bye Emily. 489 00:17:51,317 --> 00:17:54,726 Oh, bye- whoa, you have gorgeous teeth. 490 00:17:54,728 --> 00:17:58,306 [laughing] Thank you. Okay. 491 00:17:58,308 --> 00:18:03,586 Wait. Did you know I can name every country in South America? 492 00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:04,587 No, I didn't. 493 00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:07,423 -Okay. Um, I can. -Okay. 494 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,740 -Venezuela. -Yeah. 495 00:18:08,742 --> 00:18:10,093 -Ecuador. -I deserve this. 496 00:18:10,169 --> 00:18:11,577 Colombia, Paraguay. 497 00:18:11,654 --> 00:18:12,970 [knocking] 498 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,102 Oh, look what the cat dragged in. 499 00:18:19,178 --> 00:18:21,420 It's nice to see you too, Dad. 500 00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:25,015 Look, um... I had a near-death experience today 501 00:18:25,092 --> 00:18:29,761 and, I don't know, I don't wanna die with things left unsaid. 502 00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:31,505 I'm listening. 503 00:18:31,507 --> 00:18:32,873 Anyway, I just wanted you to know 504 00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:34,358 that you're a terrible father 505 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:38,079 who never had my back and I want you to rot in hell. 506 00:18:42,352 --> 00:18:45,686 So that's it. Those are the two items. 507 00:18:45,688 --> 00:18:47,521 Well look, uh... you came this far, 508 00:18:47,523 --> 00:18:49,781 at least come in and have a beer. 509 00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:50,858 Did you just hear what I said? 510 00:18:51,118 --> 00:18:54,712 Yeah. Bad father and, uh... the rotting thing. 511 00:18:54,788 --> 00:18:56,389 You want a beer or not? 512 00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:58,866 What kind you got? 513 00:18:59,202 --> 00:19:02,461 Rainier. I've been drinking the same beer since I was 12. 514 00:19:02,538 --> 00:19:04,372 You too good for Rainier now? 515 00:19:04,374 --> 00:19:06,816 I've always been too good for Rainier. 516 00:19:06,893 --> 00:19:08,300 What are you, like, 100 now? 517 00:19:09,045 --> 00:19:11,970 French Guyana. Regular Guyana. Chile. 518 00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:13,230 [knocking on door] 519 00:19:13,307 --> 00:19:14,048 Argentina. 520 00:19:14,159 --> 00:19:15,140 Hang on, I have to get that. 521 00:19:15,218 --> 00:19:15,974 Wait. No, please don't leave me. 522 00:19:16,235 --> 00:19:17,326 No, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. 523 00:19:17,478 --> 00:19:18,477 Eat your cereal. 524 00:19:18,738 --> 00:19:20,538 Sorry, I don't have any milk. I know it's dry. 525 00:19:21,666 --> 00:19:22,723 Hi. 526 00:19:22,725 --> 00:19:23,649 I'm so happy to see you. 527 00:19:23,726 --> 00:19:25,059 Yeah, you too. 528 00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:25,943 As a tantric exercise 529 00:19:26,171 --> 00:19:28,171 I've abstained from sex for three months. 530 00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:31,415 I intend to focus all that stored-up energy on you. 531 00:19:31,492 --> 00:19:34,251 [Emily] Suriname! I forgot Suriname. 532 00:19:34,328 --> 00:19:35,511 -Uh... -Who's that? 533 00:19:35,588 --> 00:19:38,572 Is she going to participate or... just watch? 534 00:19:38,574 --> 00:19:40,241 No. There was an office fridge mix up 535 00:19:40,243 --> 00:19:42,243 and now she's in another dimension. 536 00:19:42,245 --> 00:19:45,095 Uh... I'm gonna have to stay here and take care of her. 537 00:19:45,172 --> 00:19:49,192 But when she comes down I could text you. 538 00:19:49,268 --> 00:19:51,435 Three months is a really long time 539 00:19:51,512 --> 00:19:54,271 and I have a few other friends in Seattle. 540 00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:56,032 But I'll be back in August. 541 00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:57,849 Bye Victoria. 542 00:19:57,851 --> 00:19:59,493 'Kay. Bye. Cool. 543 00:20:01,188 --> 00:20:03,831 -Can I tell you something? -Yeah. Of course. 544 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,599 I only got my job 545 00:20:05,859 --> 00:20:09,378 because of connections in the mayor's office, so... 546 00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:12,289 I don't deserve it, I'm a fraud. 547 00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:14,291 That's not true. That's the drugs talking. 548 00:20:14,368 --> 00:20:16,293 Everyone thinks you're great. 549 00:20:16,370 --> 00:20:19,555 -Really? -Yeah. You're great. 550 00:20:19,632 --> 00:20:20,723 You're my best friend. 551 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,726 Oh, okay. That's... that's really nice. 552 00:20:23,803 --> 00:20:24,727 [phone ringing] 553 00:20:24,804 --> 00:20:25,561 Hang on. 554 00:20:26,397 --> 00:20:27,212 Hello? 555 00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:28,122 Oh, you were right. 556 00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:30,474 These chocolates are a game-changer. 557 00:20:30,551 --> 00:20:32,476 Maya called her mom, she picked up the kids, 558 00:20:32,478 --> 00:20:34,478 we got the whole night to ourselves. 559 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,648 Wait. Are you seriously calling me post sex? 560 00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:39,759 Yeah, post. Pre. Pre-pre. 561 00:20:39,761 --> 00:20:40,651 You never know. 562 00:20:40,970 --> 00:20:42,561 Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need to hold me. 563 00:20:42,638 --> 00:20:44,705 I'm starting to panic about climate change. 564 00:20:45,975 --> 00:20:49,326 Oh, my God. We ate the fortune cookies. 565 00:20:49,403 --> 00:20:51,979 Oh, and they were mighty delicious. 566 00:20:51,998 --> 00:20:53,756 Freaky Friday baby! 567 00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:57,334 -[Emily] ♪ Always count on me -Oh boy. 568 00:20:57,411 --> 00:20:58,502 [Emily] Hello Mister Mayor. 569 00:20:58,579 --> 00:21:02,172 ♪ Keep turning, oh, keep smiling, ♪ 570 00:21:02,249 --> 00:21:05,935 ♪ knowing you can always count on me. ♪ 571 00:21:05,937 --> 00:21:07,511 ♪ Everybody! For sure! ♪ 572 00:21:07,588 --> 00:21:09,605 Oh, I'm going really, really wide with this. 573 00:21:09,682 --> 00:21:11,665 ♪ That's what friends are for. 574 00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,276 Adopt these dogs!