1
00:00:02,491 --> 00:00:04,399
[Shred] If you were a dog,
what breed would you be?
2
00:00:04,401 --> 00:00:06,251
[Frank] You know those
hypoallergenic ones,
3
00:00:06,253 --> 00:00:07,327
uh, what are they?
4
00:00:07,513 --> 00:00:09,421
Oh, the ones that don't answer
stupid questions.
5
00:00:09,423 --> 00:00:11,181
[Dispatch] Truck 12.
Please respond.
6
00:00:11,258 --> 00:00:14,184
Cougar observed at residence.
425 Knoll Drive.
7
00:00:14,261 --> 00:00:15,927
Homeowner is out of town.
8
00:00:15,929 --> 00:00:17,429
Truck 12 responding.
9
00:00:17,506 --> 00:00:19,189
There's been a lot
of sightings lately.
10
00:00:19,191 --> 00:00:20,524
A security camera
at a dry cleaner's
11
00:00:20,559 --> 00:00:21,859
got some great footage.
12
00:00:21,935 --> 00:00:24,344
It's a beautiful animal.
C-38. Majestic.
13
00:00:24,421 --> 00:00:27,013
Poor guy's probably just hungry,
you know?
14
00:00:27,091 --> 00:00:28,014
This isn't some cute
little kitty.
15
00:00:28,016 --> 00:00:29,182
You know that right?
16
00:00:29,518 --> 00:00:32,261
Last year in Spokane another
cougar attacked an officer,
17
00:00:32,263 --> 00:00:34,279
broke through his ribcage,
and ate his lungs.
18
00:00:34,431 --> 00:00:38,100
Oh, my God.
Did he survive?
19
00:00:38,102 --> 00:00:40,952
Without lungs? Yup. Yeah.
20
00:00:41,071 --> 00:00:42,862
Finished third at
the New York Marathon.
21
00:00:42,882 --> 00:00:43,622
Thank God.
22
00:00:43,883 --> 00:00:44,882
You know, I love stories
like that.
23
00:00:45,459 --> 00:00:49,053
Triumph of the human spirit.
You can't keep us down, Frank.
24
00:00:50,389 --> 00:00:51,764
He died, Shred.
25
00:01:00,399 --> 00:01:01,732
Oh, my God.
26
00:01:01,809 --> 00:01:02,566
What?
27
00:01:02,884 --> 00:01:04,793
On the stairs.
Right in the bushes.
28
00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:05,460
You see that?
29
00:01:05,679 --> 00:01:07,387
The hydrangeas or the azaleas?
30
00:01:07,464 --> 00:01:09,481
I don't know.
The pink ones.
31
00:01:09,483 --> 00:01:10,449
Azaleas.
32
00:01:12,303 --> 00:01:13,135
Oh my God.
33
00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:14,319
[Frank] Hand me the tranq gun.
34
00:01:14,396 --> 00:01:15,562
If he comes for us,
35
00:01:15,564 --> 00:01:17,247
we're supposed to make
ourselves look big.
36
00:01:17,324 --> 00:01:19,324
Shh. Yeah.
That's the official line.
37
00:01:19,326 --> 00:01:21,234
But here's the real deal.
38
00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:23,662
Cup your junk and
hide behind something.
39
00:01:23,738 --> 00:01:26,239
Make your whole package
as inaccessible as possible.
40
00:01:26,241 --> 00:01:27,907
But Frank, I... I heard
they go for your neck.
41
00:01:27,985 --> 00:01:28,908
Yeah, they do.
42
00:01:28,986 --> 00:01:30,243
But it's not about
staying alive,
43
00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:33,597
it's about life being
worth living if you survive.
44
00:01:37,603 --> 00:01:39,103
Be careful.
45
00:01:40,013 --> 00:01:41,313
I think I got a clean shot.
46
00:01:46,562 --> 00:01:47,502
Unbelievable.
47
00:01:47,504 --> 00:01:48,428
What?
48
00:01:48,505 --> 00:01:49,004
[laughs]
49
00:01:49,006 --> 00:01:49,838
What are you...
50
00:01:49,949 --> 00:01:53,117
Frank? Frank? Frank?
Are you crazy?
51
00:01:53,193 --> 00:01:54,434
Cover up your junk.
52
00:01:54,453 --> 00:01:55,510
It's a stuffed animal.
53
00:01:55,696 --> 00:01:56,620
You don't know that.
It might just be asleep.
54
00:01:57,272 --> 00:02:00,015
Yeah. Well, when it wakes up
I'd speak to it in Vietnamese
55
00:02:00,017 --> 00:02:02,793
since it's probably
where it was made.
56
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:03,627
They do great work.
57
00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:05,187
Whoo! Okay.
58
00:02:05,189 --> 00:02:07,022
Yeah, I'll make the call
to dispatch.
59
00:02:07,024 --> 00:02:08,540
Let 'em know it's a false alarm.
60
00:02:08,617 --> 00:02:09,800
-Wait.
-What?
61
00:02:10,136 --> 00:02:12,803
You know what Churchill said.
Never let a crisis go to waste.
62
00:02:12,805 --> 00:02:13,786
Totally.
63
00:02:13,973 --> 00:02:16,365
Quick refresher...
uh, who is Churchill?
64
00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:17,957
Relief pitcher
for the Mariners.
65
00:02:17,959 --> 00:02:19,459
I hear that dude's having
a great season.
66
00:02:19,461 --> 00:02:22,295
Look... we both know
this cougar isn't real.
67
00:02:22,373 --> 00:02:23,038
Right.
68
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,148
But nobody else does.
69
00:02:24,558 --> 00:02:28,152
So, we have an opportunity to
humiliate a deserving individual
70
00:02:28,228 --> 00:02:30,070
and it would be wrong
to pass that up.
71
00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:32,197
Right?
72
00:02:33,384 --> 00:02:34,049
Gentlemen.
73
00:02:34,326 --> 00:02:36,568
Templeton... thank God
you're here.
74
00:02:36,645 --> 00:02:38,829
You're lucky I'm working
graveyard this week.
75
00:02:38,906 --> 00:02:40,555
Bring me up to speed.
76
00:02:40,557 --> 00:02:41,540
Come here.
77
00:02:43,894 --> 00:02:45,002
The predator is in those bushes.
78
00:02:45,004 --> 00:02:46,728
See? Now we've shot him
full of tranqs
79
00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:48,988
but that is one amped-up cat.
80
00:02:49,008 --> 00:02:50,007
Copy.
81
00:02:50,676 --> 00:02:54,094
It takes a big man to admit
when he's in over his head.
82
00:02:55,406 --> 00:02:58,331
So... he's already killed
a couple of dogs.
83
00:02:58,333 --> 00:02:59,999
But the real concern
is the elementary school
84
00:03:00,077 --> 00:03:00,851
down the street.
85
00:03:00,853 --> 00:03:01,910
Yeah. Breaks my heart
86
00:03:02,095 --> 00:03:04,354
but, I think, we might have
to euthanize.
87
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,933
Stand back, boys.
88
00:03:07,935 --> 00:03:10,235
This is a job for
Mister Remington.
89
00:03:11,012 --> 00:03:12,154
Okay.
90
00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:15,991
Bye-bye kitty-cat.
91
00:03:19,688 --> 00:03:21,613
On my orders... fire.
92
00:03:21,615 --> 00:03:23,856
You're gonna order yourself
to fire, sir?
93
00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:25,692
Stop questioning my authority.
94
00:03:25,769 --> 00:03:26,693
Execute!
95
00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:28,128
[gunshot]
96
00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:30,956
[chuckling]
97
00:03:31,032 --> 00:03:31,773
What?
98
00:03:31,884 --> 00:03:32,941
[laughing]
That was so good.
99
00:03:33,444 --> 00:03:36,111
That went so much better
than anyone could've hoped for.
100
00:03:36,113 --> 00:03:37,537
Oh, my goodness.
101
00:03:37,539 --> 00:03:40,449
[theme song]
102
00:03:40,451 --> 00:03:55,313
♪
103
00:03:55,315 --> 00:04:04,498
♪
104
00:04:07,736 --> 00:04:09,978
[Dolores] 'Kay. People are
still not conforming
105
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:12,089
to recycling protocols.
106
00:04:12,091 --> 00:04:13,164
And once again,
107
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:17,135
a half-eaten hamburger
is not recyclable... Frank.
108
00:04:20,081 --> 00:04:21,156
Thank you, Dolores.
109
00:04:21,158 --> 00:04:24,493
Uh, Dolores...
is this recyclable?
110
00:04:24,495 --> 00:04:25,327
Of course.
111
00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:26,161
Oh, terrific.
112
00:04:26,379 --> 00:04:27,420
Yeah. You've done
that joke before.
113
00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:31,441
Well, when you see Elton John
you want him to play Rocket Man.
114
00:04:31,593 --> 00:04:34,169
Uh, Frank? Shred?
Did anything happen recently
115
00:04:34,171 --> 00:04:36,429
that maybe I should be brought
up to speed on?
116
00:04:36,507 --> 00:04:37,430
Which category?
117
00:04:37,616 --> 00:04:40,025
Routine checks or events
that were hilarious
118
00:04:40,027 --> 00:04:42,193
and humbled a person
who richly deserved it?
119
00:04:42,195 --> 00:04:45,363
Templeton filed a formal
complaint so now HR is involved.
120
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:49,293
Oh no... not the department you
want as the arbiter of humor.
121
00:04:49,295 --> 00:04:51,128
You know who's sneaky funny?
122
00:04:51,204 --> 00:04:52,370
Payroll.
123
00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:54,706
Look, Emily, we're really sorry
you got dragged into this.
124
00:04:54,783 --> 00:04:57,283
This is one of those rare
occasions where our joy
125
00:04:57,361 --> 00:04:59,303
is worth the suffering
it causes others.
126
00:04:59,305 --> 00:05:02,030
Well, I'm gonna be on the phone
for the next five hours
127
00:05:02,032 --> 00:05:03,048
getting you guys out of trouble.
128
00:05:03,124 --> 00:05:04,716
So, I'm not demanding it,
129
00:05:04,718 --> 00:05:06,959
but a large smoothie from the
place that I like on the corner
130
00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:08,386
would be a really
thoughtful surprise.
131
00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:09,479
Oh... absolutely Emily.
132
00:05:09,873 --> 00:05:12,557
In fact, I'm gonna get smoothies
for the entire office,
133
00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:13,800
including you, Dolores.
134
00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:14,893
Just a gentle reminder,
135
00:05:15,154 --> 00:05:17,379
those cups need to be rinsed
before they're recycled.
136
00:05:17,381 --> 00:05:18,380
You bet.
137
00:05:18,565 --> 00:05:20,139
Along with the 400 straws
I'm bringing you.
138
00:05:20,217 --> 00:05:21,533
[knocking on door]
139
00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:24,903
[whispers] Again, so sorry.
140
00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:27,998
No, absolutely Captain,
I hear you loud and clear.
141
00:05:28,075 --> 00:05:30,000
[whispering] I added the papaya
extract boost.
142
00:05:30,077 --> 00:05:31,001
[whispering]
Thank you.
143
00:05:31,078 --> 00:05:31,910
[whispering]
It's an antioxidant.
144
00:05:32,153 --> 00:05:33,728
I figured with all
the truck exhaust
145
00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:34,838
and environmental toxins...
146
00:05:34,915 --> 00:05:35,897
[whispering] You know
I read about that.
147
00:05:36,157 --> 00:05:37,657
Do you know what else
is supposed to be...
148
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:39,325
No, absolutely.
I agree.
149
00:05:39,327 --> 00:05:42,420
It's a very, very
serious incident.
150
00:05:42,497 --> 00:05:44,906
[whispering]
...is pomegranate extract.
151
00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:46,408
I've been taking it,
like, before breakfast
152
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:49,001
and I feel like I notice
a difference in my skin.
153
00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:49,703
[whispering]
Yeah. You got a glow.
154
00:05:49,705 --> 00:05:50,595
[whispering]
Really?
155
00:05:50,856 --> 00:05:51,779
[whispering] What are you doing
for sun protection?
156
00:05:52,191 --> 00:05:54,173
[whispering] Like, SPF 50
and, like, a big floppy hat...
157
00:05:54,251 --> 00:05:55,859
No... exactly, Captain.
158
00:05:55,936 --> 00:05:59,679
No, I... I spoke to the officers
and it won't happen again.
159
00:05:59,756 --> 00:06:01,272
[whispering] Okay.
Super triple promise.
160
00:06:01,349 --> 00:06:03,033
I'm leaving now.
Sorry.
161
00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:04,926
[whispering] Oh wait!
I forgot.
162
00:06:04,928 --> 00:06:06,870
I got you this morning
glory muffin.
163
00:06:06,872 --> 00:06:07,854
Crazy amount of fiber.
164
00:06:07,873 --> 00:06:08,780
Not that you need it.
165
00:06:09,041 --> 00:06:11,041
You don't come off
as constipated at all.
166
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,360
You know I'm not a fan
of Templeton but come on,
167
00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:15,787
you went too far.
168
00:06:15,864 --> 00:06:18,215
Since at least the bronze age,
pranks have been employed
169
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:21,200
as a necessary form of
workplace justice.
170
00:06:21,278 --> 00:06:22,961
Look... I don't like
to get grandiose.
171
00:06:23,037 --> 00:06:24,129
Oh, you love to get grandiose.
172
00:06:24,205 --> 00:06:25,538
That's true, I am pretty good
at it.
173
00:06:25,616 --> 00:06:27,298
But if jerks like Templeton
go left unchecked,
174
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:28,892
they become Vladimir Putin.
175
00:06:28,969 --> 00:06:31,286
So sometimes the children
of light
176
00:06:31,288 --> 00:06:33,546
have to employ the methods
of the children of darkness.
177
00:06:33,548 --> 00:06:34,305
What?
178
00:06:34,549 --> 00:06:36,549
A simple thank you
is all I ask.
179
00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:38,276
And now... good day.
180
00:06:40,406 --> 00:06:41,530
Ugh.
181
00:06:42,223 --> 00:06:44,056
He's insufferable!
182
00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:47,077
That dude deserves some
serious karmic payback.
183
00:06:47,154 --> 00:06:48,995
I don't really believe
in karma.
184
00:06:50,657 --> 00:06:53,500
Too many bad things happen to
me when I don't have it coming.
185
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:59,238
♪
186
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,073
[knocking on door]
187
00:07:01,151 --> 00:07:02,575
I found this in
the recycling bin.
188
00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:03,334
It's Frank's.
189
00:07:03,411 --> 00:07:05,262
Okay, you don't know that.
190
00:07:05,338 --> 00:07:07,155
It's a size 14 and
it reeks of arrogance.
191
00:07:07,157 --> 00:07:09,174
Can you just give me a sec?
192
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,809
What's with the pictures
of Shred?
193
00:07:11,495 --> 00:07:12,436
Uh, no... nothing.
194
00:07:12,829 --> 00:07:15,105
I was... I was doing some,
uh, paperwork and I...
195
00:07:15,107 --> 00:07:16,255
"Shred Taylor penis"?
196
00:07:16,275 --> 00:07:18,108
No! No, no, no.
That's not... no.
197
00:07:18,185 --> 00:07:19,776
Why were you Googling that?
198
00:07:19,853 --> 00:07:21,093
No, I... I wasn't.
199
00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:23,672
Well, I was looking up
Shred because of,
200
00:07:23,674 --> 00:07:25,857
like, professional, totally
above-board reasons...
201
00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:28,100
um... and I think I just,
I clicked the wrong button.
202
00:07:28,178 --> 00:07:30,195
Do you have a thing for him?
203
00:07:30,271 --> 00:07:31,029
No.
204
00:07:31,105 --> 00:07:33,682
No! No.
He's my employee.
205
00:07:33,684 --> 00:07:35,292
And he has a girlfriend.
206
00:07:35,368 --> 00:07:38,203
And regardless of that
it's... no.
207
00:07:38,279 --> 00:07:41,089
His penis is frozen?
208
00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,042
Yeah. Yeah.
209
00:07:44,118 --> 00:07:47,195
Is or was, I don't know.
It's unclear.
210
00:07:47,197 --> 00:07:48,530
How did you even find that?
211
00:07:48,532 --> 00:07:49,789
It's the third thing
that pops up. Okay?
212
00:07:49,866 --> 00:07:52,142
It was "Shred Taylor."
"Shred Taylor Half-pipe."
213
00:07:52,219 --> 00:07:53,960
"Shred Taylor Frozen Penis."
214
00:07:54,037 --> 00:07:54,978
You totally have a thing
for him.
215
00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:56,128
No!
216
00:07:56,206 --> 00:07:58,039
We've just been carpooling
a lot and...
217
00:07:58,041 --> 00:07:59,298
and we like the same
cheesy music,
218
00:07:59,376 --> 00:08:02,134
and I would never act on it,
but, like... yeah.
219
00:08:02,136 --> 00:08:03,153
I looked him up
and it turns out,
220
00:08:03,155 --> 00:08:04,988
when he was injured
on the slopes,
221
00:08:05,065 --> 00:08:08,325
his, um... extremities
were impacted by the cold.
222
00:08:08,401 --> 00:08:11,069
It's, like, a real-life
condition that affects Sherpas
223
00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:14,981
and ice fisherman
and snowboarders.
224
00:08:15,058 --> 00:08:15,582
Well...
225
00:08:16,484 --> 00:08:17,334
Well what?
226
00:08:18,078 --> 00:08:18,818
Does it work?
227
00:08:18,895 --> 00:08:20,061
Okay. Dolores...
228
00:08:20,063 --> 00:08:22,230
None of the articles
say anything about that
229
00:08:22,232 --> 00:08:24,749
which is crazy 'cause it's
all anyone wants to know.
230
00:08:24,826 --> 00:08:27,159
It's probably fine but you
should stop researching it,
231
00:08:27,237 --> 00:08:28,753
it's just gonna make
your crush worse.
232
00:08:28,755 --> 00:08:29,754
I don't want it to be fine.
233
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:31,998
That's the whole thing,
if it's... if it's broken
234
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,091
or if it's, like,
at a weird angle,
235
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,375
or if it's just, like,
straight-up gone
236
00:08:34,377 --> 00:08:36,745
then I can just let this go.
237
00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:37,837
[laughing]
238
00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:40,749
I'll go get my laptop.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
239
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:44,152
-This is gonna be so much fun!
-[Emily] Oh, boy.
240
00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,938
[alert chiming]
241
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:48,532
Oh crap, it's still on.
242
00:08:48,608 --> 00:08:49,491
What?
243
00:08:50,277 --> 00:08:51,517
Maya hired a photographer
244
00:08:51,595 --> 00:08:53,261
to shoot our Christmas
card tonight.
245
00:08:53,263 --> 00:08:54,445
And I've got boobs.
246
00:08:54,522 --> 00:08:55,872
Oh, no you don't.
247
00:08:55,949 --> 00:08:57,432
I was gonna lose 10 pounds
before the shoot.
248
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,601
But then you know what happened?
I didn't.
249
00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:03,195
She got matching white satin
shirts for the whole family.
250
00:09:03,197 --> 00:09:04,939
White satin, Victoria.
251
00:09:04,941 --> 00:09:06,775
Your wife's insane.
Postpone it.
252
00:09:06,777 --> 00:09:08,885
I think it's weird to be doing
it this early anyway.
253
00:09:08,887 --> 00:09:10,962
It's a competition thing
with her sister.
254
00:09:11,039 --> 00:09:12,280
And we're never gonna win.
255
00:09:12,282 --> 00:09:13,965
They're a much more
attractive family.
256
00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:15,283
Oh yeah, you showed me
a photo.
257
00:09:15,285 --> 00:09:16,059
They're gorgeous.
258
00:09:16,061 --> 00:09:16,618
Hey!
259
00:09:16,787 --> 00:09:17,786
[chair clattering]
260
00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:20,897
Anyone wanna volunteer for
my vaccination clinic Saturday?
261
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:22,957
[overlapping]
-Oh, I would love that.
-Yeah, I would love to.
262
00:09:22,959 --> 00:09:24,142
-That sounds great!
-Yes! Absolutely.
263
00:09:24,218 --> 00:09:25,235
Great, thanks.
264
00:09:25,629 --> 00:09:27,737
My post-doc resident, Serge,
will be covering for me.
265
00:09:27,814 --> 00:09:30,131
[overlapping]
-Ooh...
-Did you say this Saturday?
266
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,075
Ooh, I've got a kid's soccer
game actually.
267
00:09:32,152 --> 00:09:33,451
Actually, I'm free.
268
00:09:34,154 --> 00:09:34,578
Really?
269
00:09:34,729 --> 00:09:35,820
Yeah. Totally.
270
00:09:35,897 --> 00:09:37,038
You're my hero.
271
00:09:38,825 --> 00:09:39,824
You know what,
I can do it.
272
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,327
I have experience.
I can move some stuff around.
273
00:09:42,403 --> 00:09:43,478
Now you're my hero.
274
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,256
No. It's about the dogs,
not about me.
275
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:47,406
Aww.
276
00:09:47,484 --> 00:09:48,049
[laughs]
277
00:09:48,652 --> 00:09:49,818
You bought that?
278
00:09:50,095 --> 00:09:52,487
You just gave up your Saturday
and you still have no shot.
279
00:09:52,489 --> 00:09:55,247
I'm sorry. Did you get an "aww"
from the Hot Vet?
280
00:09:55,325 --> 00:09:57,100
Are you her hero?
281
00:09:57,936 --> 00:09:58,751
Oh, and Frank...
282
00:09:58,829 --> 00:09:59,585
[chair clattering]
283
00:09:59,771 --> 00:10:01,496
I heard what you did
to Templeton,
284
00:10:01,498 --> 00:10:03,607
and I shouldn't admit this,
but hilarious.
285
00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:04,608
[laughs]
286
00:10:04,684 --> 00:10:05,500
Thanks.
287
00:10:06,278 --> 00:10:10,672
You know, it's rare when a hero
is also so funny.
288
00:10:10,674 --> 00:10:11,689
Am I right?
289
00:10:12,266 --> 00:10:13,524
I don't think it was
that funny.
290
00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:14,676
[chair clattering]
291
00:10:14,678 --> 00:10:16,453
Oh, shoot.
False alarm.
292
00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:18,955
You got me.
293
00:10:19,532 --> 00:10:21,458
[Shred] I can't stop thinking
about that kid.
294
00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:23,184
What kid?
295
00:10:23,186 --> 00:10:24,352
The kid that's gonna
come home,
296
00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:27,221
find his favorite stuffed animal
blown to smithereens,
297
00:10:27,223 --> 00:10:29,374
lying headless in the driveway.
298
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:30,116
That kid.
299
00:10:30,284 --> 00:10:31,359
Look... I'm in a good mood.
300
00:10:31,361 --> 00:10:33,027
Why are you trying
to bring me down?
301
00:10:33,029 --> 00:10:34,638
It's just... maybe we should try
to replace it.
302
00:10:34,714 --> 00:10:35,697
Okay. What the hell?
303
00:10:35,807 --> 00:10:37,198
After lunch we'll stop by
a toy store.
304
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,808
-Nice.
-You happy?
305
00:10:38,885 --> 00:10:39,809
-Yes.
-Alright.
306
00:10:39,886 --> 00:10:41,052
[alert chimes]
307
00:10:41,129 --> 00:10:43,462
Whoa. This day just keeps
getting better.
308
00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:45,464
You have her under "Hot Vet"?
309
00:10:45,466 --> 00:10:46,966
Yeah, I can't believe
she's texting me.
310
00:10:47,043 --> 00:10:48,893
Okay, I gotta... I gotta focus.
311
00:10:48,970 --> 00:10:50,403
[brakes screeching]
312
00:10:54,642 --> 00:10:55,383
What are you gonna say?
313
00:10:55,385 --> 00:10:56,308
I don't know.
314
00:10:56,569 --> 00:10:58,370
I wanna engage
without coming on too strong.
315
00:11:02,242 --> 00:11:04,392
Okay. Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
316
00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:08,046
What do you think of this?
317
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,249
You nailed it.
318
00:11:11,325 --> 00:11:12,417
-Send.
-[laughing]
319
00:11:12,493 --> 00:11:13,343
[alert chimes]
320
00:11:13,586 --> 00:11:16,162
[alert chimes]
[Victoria] Ha, ha! Bingo!
321
00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:17,588
He's on the hook.
322
00:11:17,665 --> 00:11:18,589
What'd he say?
323
00:11:18,591 --> 00:11:19,741
Just "hey".
324
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:21,351
He's trying to play it down
like it's no big deal
325
00:11:21,428 --> 00:11:23,853
but I know that he's as giddy
as a little school girl.
326
00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:24,913
What are we gonna text him?
327
00:11:25,173 --> 00:11:27,524
No, nothing yet.
I'm gonna make him sweat.
328
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:28,416
But thank you.
329
00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:29,250
Yes.
330
00:11:29,436 --> 00:11:31,177
...By the way.
This was a genius idea.
331
00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:32,253
My wife does it all the time.
332
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:33,755
I'll leave my phone somewhere
333
00:11:33,757 --> 00:11:34,680
and when she calls me,
334
00:11:34,941 --> 00:11:36,533
her name comes up as
"suburban sex goddess"
335
00:11:36,609 --> 00:11:37,608
or "spicy mama".
336
00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:38,868
[chuckling]
337
00:11:38,945 --> 00:11:39,928
Or "need almond milk".
338
00:11:40,188 --> 00:11:41,020
That one's just when she needs
almond milk.
339
00:11:41,097 --> 00:11:42,354
-No, I... I got that.
-Yeah.
340
00:11:42,432 --> 00:11:43,206
Anything?
341
00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:45,250
Nothing. Total silence.
342
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:48,102
Three dots and a bubble,
here we go!
343
00:11:48,104 --> 00:11:50,213
So, she's crafting
her words carefully.
344
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,273
-Oh, hell yeah.
-Come on.
345
00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:55,944
Okay, how does this sound?
My thing got cancelled.
346
00:11:55,946 --> 00:11:58,370
"...so, you'll be stuck with me
all day Saturday."
347
00:11:58,448 --> 00:11:59,389
Yes!
348
00:11:59,783 --> 00:12:01,115
Dude, have some champagne
chilled in the truck,
349
00:12:01,134 --> 00:12:02,208
just in case.
350
00:12:02,469 --> 00:12:04,561
Right? It does feel officially
safe to get cocky.
351
00:12:04,637 --> 00:12:05,954
Yes.
352
00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:06,604
[laughs]
353
00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:14,479
[Emily] Okay, there's gotta
be something.
354
00:12:14,555 --> 00:12:15,480
Do you have anything?
355
00:12:15,815 --> 00:12:17,815
Zero. And some of the websites
I stumbled onto
356
00:12:17,892 --> 00:12:18,967
were not what I was thinking
357
00:12:19,302 --> 00:12:20,969
and I'm scared there's gonna be
a knock on my door.
358
00:12:21,395 --> 00:12:22,245
Okay, this is maddening.
359
00:12:22,639 --> 00:12:24,897
I cannot be the only person
in the universe
360
00:12:24,975 --> 00:12:27,325
who wants to know the condition
of Shred Taylor's penis.
361
00:12:27,401 --> 00:12:31,045
Alright. I'm gonna use Patel's
computer and hit the dark web.
362
00:12:34,075 --> 00:12:35,407
None of these are big enough.
363
00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:38,410
Okay. She just said, "is it
weird I'm texting you?
364
00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:40,430
"You know, since
we're coworkers".
365
00:12:40,432 --> 00:12:41,914
Well, that's a good point,
you know,
366
00:12:41,992 --> 00:12:43,174
'cause it could get awkward.
367
00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:45,084
Are you sure you wanna
take it there?
368
00:12:45,161 --> 00:12:46,102
I would take a lifetime
of awkward
369
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:48,162
just to spend one night
with her.
370
00:12:48,164 --> 00:12:49,255
So, what do you think of this?
371
00:12:49,257 --> 00:12:50,422
[keypad clicking]
372
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,091
Maybe a little.
373
00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:54,335
No. Don't say that.
You're gonna get in her head.
374
00:12:54,337 --> 00:12:55,353
Exactly. Keep her off balance.
375
00:12:55,429 --> 00:12:56,354
Why would you wanna do that?
376
00:12:56,615 --> 00:12:58,189
This is a game of chess,
it's a battle of wits.
377
00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:00,024
No, it's more like a dance.
378
00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:00,950
And I'm not saying that
379
00:13:01,269 --> 00:13:03,194
just 'cause I don't know how
to play chess.
380
00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:06,289
Hold her hand.
See where the music takes you.
381
00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:08,124
I haven't been on a date
in five months
382
00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:10,184
so I'm not letting you get
in my head.
383
00:13:10,186 --> 00:13:12,128
I'm sticking with chess.
I'm sending it.
384
00:13:12,205 --> 00:13:14,113
-Fine.
-[alert chimes]
385
00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:15,114
But we're wasting our time.
386
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,133
I know where to get a giant
stuffed animal.
387
00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:19,302
Wait. They have really good
puzzles here.
388
00:13:20,472 --> 00:13:22,213
"Maybe a little."
389
00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:24,349
What a jerk.
Who even says that?
390
00:13:25,051 --> 00:13:26,292
Are you listening to me?
391
00:13:27,145 --> 00:13:29,312
I'm spinning out about
this damn Christmas card.
392
00:13:29,389 --> 00:13:31,648
I'm gonna be on refrigerators
all over Seattle.
393
00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:33,708
A diet inspiration for pudgy,
middle-aged men.
394
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,634
I just find it hilarious
that mister slobbering
395
00:13:35,712 --> 00:13:38,971
all over himself is suddenly
mister self-control.
396
00:13:39,049 --> 00:13:40,156
He takes, like, 10 minutes
397
00:13:40,158 --> 00:13:42,216
to craft each of his
three-word replies.
398
00:13:42,218 --> 00:13:44,235
I'm gonna be a white satin
man boob reminder
399
00:13:44,312 --> 00:13:45,311
to put down the ice cream.
400
00:13:45,813 --> 00:13:48,222
I wanna help my community, yeah,
but not like that.
401
00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:50,449
I'm gonna tell him I had a dream
about him last night.
402
00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:52,910
No, that's mean.
Don't do that.
403
00:13:52,912 --> 00:13:54,194
Too mean or good mean?
404
00:13:54,747 --> 00:13:55,580
You know what I think?
405
00:13:55,582 --> 00:13:56,822
What do you think?
406
00:13:57,158 --> 00:13:58,733
I don't think you're getting
off on the cruelty of the prank,
407
00:13:58,735 --> 00:14:00,510
I think you're just getting off.
408
00:14:00,587 --> 00:14:01,586
What?
409
00:14:01,847 --> 00:14:04,072
[laughs] Yeah. I think you
like the flirtation.
410
00:14:04,074 --> 00:14:04,830
I think you like him.
411
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:05,756
Frank? That's crazy.
412
00:14:06,017 --> 00:14:07,909
Okay, then why...
why are you blushing?
413
00:14:07,911 --> 00:14:09,001
I'm not blushing.
414
00:14:09,262 --> 00:14:11,187
I'm emotionally tormenting
someone because it's fun.
415
00:14:11,264 --> 00:14:12,171
Mmhmm.
416
00:14:12,432 --> 00:14:14,265
I've got my flaws
and I'm fine with it.
417
00:14:14,342 --> 00:14:15,266
At least your flaws
are on the inside.
418
00:14:15,602 --> 00:14:16,584
[laughs] Right?
419
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:17,919
[Dispatch] Truck eight.
Please respond.
420
00:14:18,088 --> 00:14:20,512
Kangaroo escaped
from the Seattle Zoo.
421
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:23,408
Zookeeper is requesting back-up.
101 East Webster.
422
00:14:24,536 --> 00:14:25,851
Truck eight responding.
423
00:14:26,204 --> 00:14:28,037
Okay. I'm gonna need you
to focus.
424
00:14:28,114 --> 00:14:29,873
Okay. I'm bringing out
the big guns.
425
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,949
I'm gonna blow his horny
little mind.
426
00:14:32,026 --> 00:14:33,167
[keypad clicking]
427
00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:36,212
Come on... no service?
428
00:14:36,289 --> 00:14:38,364
What is it, the bumper cars
are interfering?
429
00:14:38,441 --> 00:14:40,958
Will you please knock these down
so we can get outta here.
430
00:14:41,035 --> 00:14:42,302
I'm trying, Frank.
431
00:14:44,948 --> 00:14:46,372
What is going on?
I thought you were an athlete.
432
00:14:46,374 --> 00:14:48,633
Yeah, in a leg-based sport.
This is, like, an arm sport.
433
00:14:48,635 --> 00:14:49,784
There's wrist stuff...
434
00:14:50,136 --> 00:14:51,519
I gotta get back
into cell service.
435
00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:53,730
See? It's not so easy.
436
00:14:53,806 --> 00:14:54,789
Excuse me. Sir?
437
00:14:55,049 --> 00:14:57,125
How much for that huge lion
on the top row?
438
00:14:57,127 --> 00:14:58,309
Prizes are not for sale.
439
00:14:58,386 --> 00:14:59,218
Look at that, Shred.
440
00:14:59,404 --> 00:15:00,978
We found the one carny
with scruples.
441
00:15:01,055 --> 00:15:02,146
Can you believe it?
442
00:15:02,148 --> 00:15:03,072
We can... we can earn it.
443
00:15:03,074 --> 00:15:05,408
Okay.
Well, how about... now?
444
00:15:08,062 --> 00:15:10,138
That might get you something
from the second row.
445
00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:11,155
Like a little badger.
446
00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:12,156
But are you serious?
447
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,250
We need the lion, Frank.
448
00:15:14,252 --> 00:15:16,336
How much for something
from the top row?
449
00:15:17,071 --> 00:15:18,171
Three badgers.
450
00:15:19,424 --> 00:15:21,165
There's a cash machine
by the funnel cakes.
451
00:15:21,242 --> 00:15:21,999
Two and a half badgers!
452
00:15:22,076 --> 00:15:23,167
This is extortion.
453
00:15:23,169 --> 00:15:25,303
This was a very
reasonable bribe.
454
00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:26,988
Excuse me, guys, sorry.
455
00:15:27,173 --> 00:15:29,157
Excuse me, coming through guys.
Thank you.
456
00:15:29,509 --> 00:15:30,600
Officer Patel,
This is Officer Sands.
457
00:15:30,602 --> 00:15:31,583
What's the situation?
458
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:35,254
Jumping Jack.
Second time he's escaped.
459
00:15:35,331 --> 00:15:36,940
Anyway, we got him trapped.
460
00:15:36,942 --> 00:15:37,682
What do you need from us?
461
00:15:37,758 --> 00:15:38,833
Not much.
462
00:15:39,093 --> 00:15:41,093
Just stay here and help keep
away the looky-loos.
463
00:15:41,095 --> 00:15:42,019
-Hmm.
-'Kay.
464
00:15:42,096 --> 00:15:43,262
Alright, Jack.
465
00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:45,097
Don't you need, like, a net
or something?
466
00:15:45,099 --> 00:15:46,991
No, just grab him
by the tail.
467
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,117
Sure.
468
00:15:48,436 --> 00:15:50,511
Alright, Jack.
Vacation's over, buddy.
469
00:15:50,513 --> 00:15:51,770
Okay. Whoa!
470
00:15:52,123 --> 00:15:53,030
[Victoria] Um...
471
00:15:53,107 --> 00:15:54,106
What... what should we do?
472
00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:57,868
Stand your ground.
We'll sneak up from behind.
473
00:15:57,945 --> 00:15:59,778
Ooh... hey mate.
474
00:15:59,856 --> 00:16:00,446
Just like this?
475
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,465
[Victoria]
G'day. Hello.
476
00:16:03,134 --> 00:16:04,425
What's he doing?
477
00:16:06,529 --> 00:16:09,621
Don't mess with me, kangaroo.
I boxed Golden Gloves.
478
00:16:09,699 --> 00:16:10,531
[kangaroo growling]
479
00:16:10,642 --> 00:16:11,866
He's got a crazy look
in his eye.
480
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:12,550
Keep him engaged.
481
00:16:12,885 --> 00:16:15,052
Roger. I'll amp up
the trash talk.
482
00:16:15,054 --> 00:16:16,980
What do you weigh, 140?
Huh?
483
00:16:17,056 --> 00:16:18,297
Welterweight's got nothing
on me, Jack.
484
00:16:18,374 --> 00:16:19,315
I'm 160.
485
00:16:19,709 --> 00:16:22,485
Wouldn't telling him
your real weight be scarier?
486
00:16:22,562 --> 00:16:24,970
Don't press on my insecurities!
487
00:16:24,972 --> 00:16:26,322
He doesn't seem afraid of you.
488
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:29,308
Oh yeah?
You ready to go? Huh?
489
00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:30,493
'Cause I'm ready to go.
490
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:31,552
[punch lands]
491
00:16:31,554 --> 00:16:32,478
Oh!
492
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,740
That's gotta hurt, yeah.
You okay?
493
00:16:36,576 --> 00:16:38,668
Keep it up,
just a little longer.
494
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:39,651
Is that all you got?
495
00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:40,895
[kangaroo growls]
496
00:16:40,897 --> 00:16:43,080
-[thudding]
-[crowd gasps]
497
00:16:43,157 --> 00:16:45,508
Oh, mate. Ow, yeah.
Down you go.
498
00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:48,236
[Zookeeper] Okay. We got him!
499
00:16:48,238 --> 00:16:50,096
-Good work, officer.
-See ya, mate.
500
00:16:50,923 --> 00:16:51,597
See ya.
501
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:53,241
[groaning]
502
00:16:53,501 --> 00:16:56,335
How you doing down there?
Yeah? You a bit winded?
503
00:16:56,337 --> 00:16:58,104
[Frank] Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
504
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,006
Oh! Finally, a signal.
Three bars.
505
00:17:01,084 --> 00:17:01,858
[alert chimes]
506
00:17:02,435 --> 00:17:04,935
She... she wants me
to come over tonight
507
00:17:05,012 --> 00:17:07,438
for a quote unquote drink.
508
00:17:07,515 --> 00:17:10,941
Holy moly!
The Hot Vet and me!
509
00:17:11,018 --> 00:17:13,119
Knight to queen four!
510
00:17:14,113 --> 00:17:16,164
-What?
-It's chess!
511
00:17:23,439 --> 00:17:25,364
I can't believe I got my
ass kicked by a kangaroo.
512
00:17:25,441 --> 00:17:26,031
Hmm.
513
00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:27,124
[alert chimes]
514
00:17:27,201 --> 00:17:29,052
Ooh! Mrs. Claus is texting you.
515
00:17:29,128 --> 00:17:31,095
Crap. I forgot about
the photo shoot.
516
00:17:33,207 --> 00:17:36,284
Which I no longer have to do.
517
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:37,451
Maya's not gonna want
a Christmas card
518
00:17:37,453 --> 00:17:39,437
with this hideous face on it.
519
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:45,384
Everything's coming up Patel.
520
00:17:45,461 --> 00:17:46,319
[laughs]
521
00:17:57,156 --> 00:17:58,331
[doorbell rings]
522
00:18:10,595 --> 00:18:12,244
Uh... by any chance
523
00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:15,005
are you someone we work
with's roommate?
524
00:18:15,082 --> 00:18:16,265
The Hot Vet just doesn't seem
like the type
525
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:18,492
to do something like this.
526
00:18:18,494 --> 00:18:20,436
Collette, Frank.
Her name is Collette.
527
00:18:20,513 --> 00:18:23,347
Collette the vet?
That's unfortunate.
528
00:18:23,424 --> 00:18:25,441
This is ridiculous.
I'm just gonna call her.
529
00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:27,668
[phone vibrating and chiming]
530
00:18:27,670 --> 00:18:28,594
[gasps]
531
00:18:28,671 --> 00:18:30,071
Yes.
532
00:18:31,674 --> 00:18:32,615
Hello.
533
00:18:32,951 --> 00:18:34,933
Victoria? What are you doing
with Hot Vet's phone?
534
00:18:35,011 --> 00:18:37,036
You tell me.
You're the expert on pranks.
535
00:18:38,181 --> 00:18:39,122
Oh, my God, it was you?
536
00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:41,349
Sometimes the children
of the light
537
00:18:41,351 --> 00:18:44,627
need to use the methods
of the children of darkness.
538
00:18:44,629 --> 00:18:45,870
The whole time?
539
00:18:45,872 --> 00:18:46,945
How does it feel?
540
00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:48,522
[Frank] Bad. It feels
really bad.
541
00:18:48,524 --> 00:18:49,448
Yeah.
542
00:18:49,783 --> 00:18:50,449
[Frank] But I gotta say,
I'm a little impressed.
543
00:18:50,969 --> 00:18:53,469
If I were wearing a cap,
I would tip it to you.
544
00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:56,864
Oh, I would love that.
But did you learn anything?
545
00:18:56,866 --> 00:18:59,291
Yes. That I can dish it out
but I absolutely can't take it.
546
00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:00,977
So, will you stop pranking
people so much?
547
00:19:01,053 --> 00:19:02,219
No.
548
00:19:02,630 --> 00:19:04,463
But I will be more vigilant
about not getting gotten myself.
549
00:19:04,465 --> 00:19:08,133
And, I don't know when,
it may take years...
550
00:19:08,211 --> 00:19:09,301
but I will retaliate.
551
00:19:09,379 --> 00:19:09,986
[Victoria] Can't wait.
552
00:19:09,988 --> 00:19:11,320
Goodnight Victoria.
553
00:19:12,323 --> 00:19:13,214
[giggling]
554
00:19:13,216 --> 00:19:14,382
Sucka lucka.
555
00:19:14,717 --> 00:19:15,641
I'm sorry, Delores,
556
00:19:15,902 --> 00:19:19,478
that you became a pawn
in Victoria's sick game.
557
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,622
Leave the bottle of wine
and we'll call it even.
558
00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:23,724
I don't know.
559
00:19:23,984 --> 00:19:26,169
I had high hopes for this
evening and I splurged.
560
00:19:26,171 --> 00:19:28,045
Okay, what about one glass?
561
00:19:29,232 --> 00:19:30,464
That seems fair.
562
00:19:32,493 --> 00:19:33,492
I gotta say,
563
00:19:33,753 --> 00:19:38,055
you are being very
not horrible about all this.
564
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,242
Hey, can I ask you something?
565
00:19:41,244 --> 00:19:44,094
Has Shred ever mentioned
an unusual sports injury?
566
00:19:44,171 --> 00:19:45,188
Oh, you read about
the frozen penis thing
567
00:19:45,264 --> 00:19:46,263
and wanna know if
it still works?
568
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,248
There's been some discussion.
569
00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:51,861
Oh, I've asked him.
And it's... a-okay.
570
00:19:51,938 --> 00:19:53,729
And I've seen it.
In the restroom.
571
00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:57,325
It's, and I don't know
how else to describe it...
572
00:19:58,536 --> 00:20:00,036
Gorgeous. It's pristine.
573
00:20:00,112 --> 00:20:01,278
Like a renaissance artist
sculpted it
574
00:20:01,614 --> 00:20:04,281
and then killed himself 'cause
he could do no finer work.
575
00:20:04,358 --> 00:20:06,434
God, that guy just glides
through life.
576
00:20:06,436 --> 00:20:08,294
The universe is truly garbage.
577
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,864
Would it be unpleasant if I
joined you for a glass?
578
00:20:12,942 --> 00:20:14,550
It would not be unpleasant.
579
00:20:15,294 --> 00:20:17,294
As long as you properly recycle
that bottle.
580
00:20:17,871 --> 00:20:19,388
Did you just make a joke?
581
00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:21,432
Maybe.
582
00:20:23,302 --> 00:20:25,061
I hope the kid likes it.
583
00:20:25,137 --> 00:20:26,896
This is really nice of you.
584
00:20:26,973 --> 00:20:28,956
No... it's not
that big a deal.
585
00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:30,149
-[alert chimes]
-Oh.
586
00:20:33,905 --> 00:20:34,570
[under her breath]
No...
587
00:20:35,073 --> 00:20:36,088
Okay buddy.
588
00:20:36,165 --> 00:20:37,281
[to herself]
Are you kidding?
589
00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:39,967
[sighs]
590
00:20:39,969 --> 00:20:41,226
You ready to go?
You alright?
591
00:20:41,304 --> 00:20:43,412
-Yeah, oh yeah.
-Okay.
592
00:20:44,991 --> 00:20:46,657
-Whoa!
-What?
593
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:48,042
Down the street.
594
00:20:49,570 --> 00:20:50,569
[Emily gasps]
595
00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:51,504
[Shred] Wow.
596
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:58,076
Frank was right.
It is majestic.
597
00:20:58,078 --> 00:21:00,388
It's beautiful.
598
00:21:01,266 --> 00:21:03,340
Um... but also super dangerous
599
00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:06,327
so maybe we should get back
in the car and report it.
600
00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:08,086
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah.
601
00:21:08,164 --> 00:21:09,981
-We should be fast.
-Oh, my God.
602
00:21:11,017 --> 00:21:12,257
[Dispatch] To all units...
603
00:21:12,668 --> 00:21:16,337
two off-duty officers report
a cougar at 425 Knoll Drive.
604
00:21:16,339 --> 00:21:18,005
Officer Dutch responding.
605
00:21:18,007 --> 00:21:20,283
I am instructing
the reporting officers
606
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,785
to take their fake cougar
and shove it up their-
607
00:21:22,862 --> 00:21:24,036
[bleep]
608
00:21:25,364 --> 00:21:26,330
Over.
609
00:21:27,983 --> 00:21:30,351
[breathing heavily]
610
00:21:30,353 --> 00:21:31,685
No one can know about this.
611
00:21:31,687 --> 00:21:33,278
Obviously.
612
00:21:33,356 --> 00:21:35,689
This was like a one...
one-and-a-half time thing.
613
00:21:35,691 --> 00:21:37,258
Obviously.