1
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:05,091
What is gout?
2
00:00:05,091 --> 00:00:07,050
Are you a 15th century
British monarch?
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:07,702
No.
4
00:00:07,702 --> 00:00:08,616
You don't have it.
5
00:00:08,616 --> 00:00:09,487
Hmm.
6
00:00:10,183 --> 00:00:12,272
God, there's like
5,000 questions.
7
00:00:12,272 --> 00:00:13,578
You're a city employee now.
8
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:16,407
Half your life is gonna be
paperwork, congrats.
9
00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:19,932
Hey, is it okay if I put you
down as my emergency contact?
10
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,934
Well, since I'm the guy
most likely to harm you,
11
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,544
it seems like a conflict
of interest.
12
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:24,850
Truck 12.
13
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,504
Resident reporting problem
with rabbits.
14
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:27,896
907 Maple Lane.
15
00:00:29,202 --> 00:00:32,814
Question, have subjects
been observed as... wascaly?
16
00:00:34,903 --> 00:00:36,340
Are you going
or not?
17
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,952
Yes. We'll hop right on over.
18
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:40,692
That's it, get out.
19
00:00:41,562 --> 00:00:42,041
What?
20
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,173
We talked about this,
21
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,652
two lame jokes before coffee,
get out.
22
00:00:44,652 --> 00:00:46,524
Wait, really?
You were serious about that?
23
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:47,873
As a heart attack.
24
00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:50,571
Hey. Come on.
25
00:00:50,571 --> 00:00:52,138
You're taking this too far, Frank.
26
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:57,143
You can come back!
I learned my lesson!
27
00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,146
No jokes before coffee!
28
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:33,614
So, I've been micro-dosing
mushrooms for anxiety
29
00:01:33,614 --> 00:01:37,444
but my rabbits have gotten
into my special chocolate bars.
30
00:01:37,444 --> 00:01:39,620
Oh, that was faster
than I thought.
31
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:42,014
This gentleman's bunnies
ate his drugs.
32
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,233
They've been acting
really aggressive.
33
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:47,933
They look pretty chill to me.
34
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:52,633
Yeah, but in a circling
the wagon conspiratorial
sort of way.
35
00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:55,636
Look at them.
Plotting something evil.
36
00:01:55,636 --> 00:01:58,552
Okay. So the rabbits
are handling their high
37
00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,727
better than their owner,
38
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:02,382
but sure, we'll take them in
for observation.
39
00:02:02,382 --> 00:02:05,211
Hey hippies!
Sorry, summer of love is over.
40
00:02:05,211 --> 00:02:06,256
Time to sleep it off downtown.
41
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,302
What is happening?
42
00:02:10,216 --> 00:02:12,653
Hey! Ow!
43
00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:15,439
Jeez! My God!
Come on! Ow!
44
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:18,529
Retreat, retreat! Jeez!
45
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,661
I told you, they're in
a very bad headspace.
46
00:02:20,661 --> 00:02:22,968
What the hell did you
put in that chocolate?
47
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,361
I used to be a cop.
48
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,232
I busted international
crime rings.
49
00:02:26,232 --> 00:02:27,277
And I'm getting...
50
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:28,452
- Hey.
- I thought you were brave.
51
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,105
You guys know about this
taco truck up the street?
52
00:02:30,105 --> 00:02:31,977
The breakfast burritos...
four stars.
53
00:02:32,673 --> 00:02:33,848
What's up with
the first-aid kit?
54
00:02:33,848 --> 00:02:36,677
It's, uh, killer bunnies
on recreational drugs, bro.
55
00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,549
Really? What kind?
56
00:02:38,679 --> 00:02:40,464
You know, like, basic,
floppy-eared, fluffy.
57
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,422
No, no, the drugs.
What kinds of drugs?
58
00:02:42,422 --> 00:02:45,295
It's like psychedelic mushrooms.
59
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,514
The homeowner makes
his own chocolates.
60
00:02:47,514 --> 00:02:49,473
Really? Did he mention
if it was straight
61
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,649
or if it was cut with
purity-tested MDMA?
62
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:52,693
Did he mention that?
63
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,565
Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.
64
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,436
These rabbits are higher
than my uncle at Thanksgiving
65
00:02:56,436 --> 00:02:58,351
and they're calling the shots.
66
00:02:58,351 --> 00:03:01,180
Everybody relax, okay?
I got a couple rabbits at home.
67
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,486
I speak fluent bunny.
68
00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,229
I mean, you might wanna
film this.
69
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,056
Could be a valuable
teaching tool.
70
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,712
Hey guys.
How are you doing?
71
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:15,716
You know I have two rabbits
at home, Snowball and Batman.
72
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,371
Yeah, we let the kids
name them.
73
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:21,809
And they are just as cute
and adorable...
74
00:03:23,071 --> 00:03:24,682
...as you, uh-huh.
75
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:27,119
That Phyllis,
she's the mama.
76
00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:29,513
Oh, aren't you a little
love muffin?
77
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:34,605
Oh! Get off me,
you mangy bitch!
78
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,302
Hey Shred, you're always trying
to be smarter.
79
00:03:36,302 --> 00:03:38,304
Look up "hoisted on
one's own petard"
80
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,524
and it will literally be
a picture of this.
81
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:41,481
Argh!!!
82
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,876
Uh, should we call
for backup?
83
00:03:45,006 --> 00:03:46,138
Bunny backup?
84
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,444
Dude, do you have any idea
of the ridicule
85
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:48,662
that will come our way?
86
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,316
No. We got this.
87
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:54,842
Cuddle time is over.
88
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:12,207
Hey. So, we're gonna need to
collect the medicated chocolate
89
00:04:12,338 --> 00:04:16,168
for our vet so she can calibrate
an overdose treatment.
90
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,257
Right, of course.
Anything to help.
91
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,606
And, um, look,
92
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,652
I know I shouldn't be messing
around with drugs.
93
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,045
I'm gonna turn over
a new leaf right now.
94
00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:26,309
Yeah. Drugs are bad.
95
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,049
Uh, make sure you get
all of them.
96
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,576
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
97
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:34,404
No, I'm not.
Not even a little bit.
98
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:38,408
I suspect his bars
contain psilocybin and 2CB.
99
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,235
That combination is known
to give you orgasms
100
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:42,455
and make you feel like you've
been launched into outer space.
101
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,589
And rabbits have no business
experiencing pleasure like that.
102
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:46,764
Okay. Just remember,
103
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,592
you promised to watch the kids
this weekend, okay?
104
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,245
And they're very excited,
105
00:04:50,245 --> 00:04:51,812
they picked out a movie
and everything, Freaky Friday.
106
00:04:51,812 --> 00:04:52,770
It's a silly premise
107
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,337
but, uh, the emotion
really sneaks up on you.
108
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,163
- Yeah. I...
- It does.
109
00:04:55,163 --> 00:04:56,774
- I will be there.
- Okay.
110
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:57,775
The chocolates are
for tonight.
111
00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,559
Do you remember that guy
I met in Costa Rica?
112
00:04:59,559 --> 00:05:01,169
Yeah. The... the yogi
or the surfer?
113
00:05:01,169 --> 00:05:02,649
The yogi.
114
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,129
So, he's in town, but he's only
free for one night.
115
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,652
Mmhmm.
116
00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:08,133
He's really flexible.
Just, like... not with his time.
117
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,482
Right.
118
00:05:09,482 --> 00:05:11,266
Anyway, what are you guys up to
for your big date?
119
00:05:11,266 --> 00:05:13,312
Oh, we're actually gonna go eat
Swedish meatballs at Ikea.
120
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:14,879
And test out futons.
121
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,446
I know it sounds pathetic
but I'm actually really excited.
122
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,622
Maya and I, we haven't been
alone together in, like, months.
123
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:19,840
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
124
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,843
Don't be insulted but I'm so
glad I don't have your life.
125
00:05:22,843 --> 00:05:25,455
Well, you're tempting fate
'cause we could end up
126
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,413
accidentally eating
magic fortune cookies
127
00:05:27,413 --> 00:05:29,372
and end up switching places.
128
00:05:30,416 --> 00:05:32,244
Is that what happens
in the movie?
129
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:33,288
I don't wanna ruin it for you.
130
00:05:33,419 --> 00:05:35,552
You just did like... like you
told me the ending.
131
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:36,553
Maybe I didn't though.
132
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:39,512
- Or maybe I did.
- Huh.
133
00:05:44,299 --> 00:05:46,171
Oh, at least it's donut Wednesday.
134
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,829
What abomination is this?
135
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,179
Who's day is it?
I want answers.
136
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,572
I want revenge.
137
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,574
Okay. But is it okay
if I have some jicama?
138
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,271
'Cause I love jicama.
139
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:01,578
No. I want revenge.
Shout it with me.
140
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,014
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
141
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,450
Revenge!
142
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,799
You make it sound playful.
Put some fury behind it.
143
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,585
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
144
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,151
Revenge!
145
00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:12,937
Shh! I'm on the phone
with my daughter's teacher.
146
00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:16,331
There's been a horrible accident,
147
00:06:16,331 --> 00:06:17,637
I gotta call you back.
148
00:06:17,637 --> 00:06:18,464
Revenge.
149
00:06:18,464 --> 00:06:20,901
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
150
00:06:20,901 --> 00:06:22,903
Okay, I proudly take responsibility.
151
00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:25,384
Donut Wednesday, Delores.
It's a sacred tradition.
152
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:27,560
Handed down to us
by the Romans.
153
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,302
You defiled this holy tabernacle
with your cru d'été.
154
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,522
This is our tabernacle, Delores.
155
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,524
Okay. This office
has a serious case
156
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:35,829
of the late morning
sugar blues
157
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,701
and someone
had to intervene.
158
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,486
How dare you act unilaterally.
159
00:06:40,486 --> 00:06:43,054
It's America.
It's donuts.
160
00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:44,359
Shred, throw that away.
161
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,186
- Oh, come on.
- Throw it away.
162
00:06:45,186 --> 00:06:46,100
It's just a jicama stick.
163
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,711
Throw it away.
Spit it out.
164
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:48,842
This is very disappointing.
165
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,628
How's my favorite
under-performing precinct doing?
166
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,978
Oh, you sad, sad man.
167
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:56,589
You drove across town just to
make fun of us for the rabbits.
168
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,548
What rabbits? I didn't
hear anything about rabbits.
169
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:01,028
Ha! Because there were
no rabbits.
170
00:07:01,942 --> 00:07:03,727
Hey Emily.
Got your speech ready?
171
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:04,902
Who told you about that?
172
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,818
She's giving the keynote
at the AACL luncheon today.
173
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:10,516
Whoa. I don't know what
it stands for but congrats.
174
00:07:10,516 --> 00:07:11,691
Why didn't you tell us?
175
00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:13,563
I... I just get a little nervous
176
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,260
so I just wanted to keep it
under the radar.
177
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,522
That's why I'm here.
178
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:20,004
I spoke last year and,
whoo... stressful.
179
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,962
And I know how much you hate
public speaking, so...
180
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:25,270
Yeah, but I've been practicing
so I think I'll be good.
181
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:26,837
Of course.
182
00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:28,491
No worry, it's just a couple
hundred people in the audience.
183
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,753
- And, uh...
- Uh-huh.
184
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,494
They film it and post it
on their website
185
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,886
and it's up there forever.
186
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,628
So, nobody looks at it.
Yes, they do.
187
00:07:35,628 --> 00:07:37,630
I watched your speech, Templeton.
188
00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:39,893
- Several times, so funny.
- Big fan.
189
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,505
What kind of truck does
a pig drive?
190
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:43,767
A hambulance.
191
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:44,942
Ah, that line killed.
192
00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:48,772
Anyway, uh, happy to step in
for you
193
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:51,252
and I promise you the audience
will not be disappointed.
194
00:07:51,252 --> 00:07:52,863
Thank you so much.
195
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,734
Uh, but shouldn't you be
on patrol or something?
196
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:56,083
Heading out now.
197
00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:58,346
Oh! What's that?
198
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:02,699
Looks like I have an email
that is stuck in my outbox.
199
00:08:04,657 --> 00:08:06,093
Boom!
200
00:08:06,093 --> 00:08:08,574
Fixed it. Enjoy.
201
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:12,970
A gleefully vindictive message
from Officer Templeton Dutch.
202
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,015
That jerk got a hold of
our body-cam footage.
203
00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:16,974
Oh, he did know about
the rabbits.
204
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:17,801
Ugh.
205
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,019
Look at you guys
running away
206
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,760
from the li'l rabbits!
207
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:21,718
We were regrouping!
208
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,676
Are you... are you...
are you kidding me?!
209
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,809
What... what are these,
green peppers?!
210
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,767
Okay. I support healthy choices, Delores,
211
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:29,900
but it is donut Wednesday.
212
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:33,512
I am stressed and I need sugar
so you need to fix this.
213
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:37,124
Revenge!
214
00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:43,696
Hey. Hey.
215
00:08:43,696 --> 00:08:45,045
Try not to let Templeton
get in your head.
216
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:49,006
Oh yeah, uh, too late.
Uh, he is... he is in there.
217
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,050
Okay, listen.
218
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,792
I used to get really nervous
before big competitions.
219
00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,054
Like, it got bad.
220
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,666
So I remember my coach hooked me
up with this sports psychologist
221
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,624
who gave me some cool
relaxation techniques.
222
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,191
If you wanna try.
223
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,540
Okay.
224
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:02,672
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay.
225
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,412
'Cause my heart is um...
really pounding.
226
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,024
Okay. Um, so, close
your eyes.
227
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,547
Yeah.
228
00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:11,855
Take a deep breath and imagine
yourself on a mountain.
229
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,465
Now, you're about
to start a race
230
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:15,075
against this big-ass Swiss dude.
231
00:09:15,075 --> 00:09:17,512
Wait. No. Sorry.
232
00:09:17,512 --> 00:09:20,080
Visualize yourself giving
the speech.
233
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,649
Confident, calm, looking
super fly in your business suit
234
00:09:23,649 --> 00:09:26,521
and the crowd is loving it.
235
00:09:26,652 --> 00:09:31,701
They're chanting your name.
Emily! Emily! Emily!
236
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,746
Well, it's a professional conference
237
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:36,096
so there's not really
a whole lot of chanting.
238
00:09:36,096 --> 00:09:37,402
No chanting?
239
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,752
- No.
- That's too bad.
240
00:09:39,752 --> 00:09:41,798
Okay. Then just
visualize yourself
241
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:44,061
absolutely crushing the speech.
242
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:44,757
Okay.
243
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,239
How's your heart rate?
244
00:09:50,850 --> 00:09:53,897
It is actually better.
245
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,638
You're gonna medal for sure.
246
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:02,775
Oh, um... remind me.
247
00:10:02,775 --> 00:10:05,212
In my outfit you said
I looked, um...
248
00:10:05,212 --> 00:10:08,259
Super fly.
Right, okay.
249
00:10:16,702 --> 00:10:19,139
Okay. Only one
big question left.
250
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:23,535
Who's going to step up
and be my emergency contact?
251
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,145
Don't you have family
you can ask?
252
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,800
My dad died and my mom
moved to Florida.
253
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,237
But she's got a sweet condo
on the beach
254
00:10:30,237 --> 00:10:32,805
and she says any time I wanna
bring down my emergency contact
255
00:10:32,805 --> 00:10:35,242
for a little sand and sea,
she has a room waiting.
256
00:10:35,242 --> 00:10:37,288
Oh. Well, I hope you and that
guy without boundaries
257
00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:38,942
have fun with your mom.
258
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:42,119
No! No, no, no, no, no,
no, no!
259
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:45,688
Guys, who ate one of
my chocolate bars?
260
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,602
There were three
and now there's two.
261
00:10:47,602 --> 00:10:49,169
And they were hidden
way at the back
262
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,736
with my frickin' name on it.
263
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,695
If your name's on it,
that's sacrosanct.
264
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,174
You can look that word up, Shred.
265
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:55,132
Sacrosanct...
266
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,221
Although I did eat Patel's
ice cream bar.
267
00:10:57,221 --> 00:11:00,137
What? I was saving that
for my end of the week treat!
268
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,747
Oh, you were
intolerable yesterday.
269
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:03,444
It demanded a response.
270
00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:05,969
Why? Because I said the Mariners
don't have a shot this year?
271
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,014
Say it again and you can kiss
your tuna sandwich goodbye.
272
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:08,928
The Mariners don't have
a shot this year.
273
00:11:08,928 --> 00:11:10,713
Oh, that tuna sandwich
is gonna taste...
274
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,976
The Mariners
don't have a shot...
275
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:13,933
Okay, I think we're done here.
276
00:11:13,933 --> 00:11:16,631
I need to know who ate
my chocolate bar.
277
00:11:16,762 --> 00:11:17,720
Shred, check the waste
baskets now.
278
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:18,721
Thanks. Great.
279
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:19,939
Uh, those chocolate bars
were laced
280
00:11:19,939 --> 00:11:21,941
with high-grade hallucinogenics.
281
00:11:21,941 --> 00:11:24,030
Have you seen double rainbow?
282
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:25,510
Someone's about to be 10 times
more like that guy
283
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:26,729
than that guy was.
284
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,818
Hey. Did Emily make it back?
285
00:11:30,471 --> 00:11:31,908
Uh... I'm not sure.
286
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,083
I was gonna give her
a ride
287
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,172
but she ran off after
her presentation.
288
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,390
Um... can this wait?
289
00:11:36,390 --> 00:11:38,653
It's just, we're in the middle
of a bit of a crisis.
290
00:11:38,784 --> 00:11:41,656
It's just weird because
her speech went so well.
291
00:11:41,656 --> 00:11:43,963
She was funny,
talking off the cuff...
292
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:46,531
she even sang at one point.
293
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:48,620
Oh God.
294
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,013
Emily ate the chocolate.
295
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,231
All of it?
296
00:11:51,231 --> 00:11:52,580
It looks that way, yeah.
297
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,669
Code red.
298
00:11:54,669 --> 00:11:56,236
My thin mints are missing,
gone without a trace.
299
00:11:56,236 --> 00:11:57,629
She's binging.
300
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,674
Actually, I threw
the cookies out.
301
00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:01,024
You'll thank me later.
302
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:03,896
Actually, I will not thank you.
I will not thank you, Delores!
303
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:07,857
I want my own refrigerator.
'Kay?
304
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,380
Delores, I want
my own refrigerator!
305
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,212
So, who's your emergency
contact?
306
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,561
My father.
307
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,041
Aww, I didn't know you were
close with your dad.
308
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,782
We're not.
I hate that son of a bitch.
309
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,261
Then why did you choose him?
310
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,263
Well, if something happens
to me, he's on the hook.
311
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:24,569
With any luck,
312
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:27,267
I'll be a vegetable
requiring 24-hour care.
313
00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:29,792
That makes me sad, bro.
My dad was my best friend.
314
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,228
Yeah, of course he was.
315
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:33,056
My only regret is I never
got to tell him
316
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:34,666
how much he meant to me.
317
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:35,841
I mean, he probably knew
because I told him
318
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,234
I loved him every day.
319
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:38,278
Except when my phone died,
320
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,193
which happened a lot when I was
competing in Europe
321
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,674
'cause I didn't have
the right plugs.
322
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,981
Point is... don't leave
things unsaid.
323
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,373
Call your dad.
324
00:12:48,723 --> 00:12:50,073
You know, they make those
three-in-one adapters.
325
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,639
They have for years.
326
00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:52,815
Really?
327
00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:56,557
Now I have two regrets.
328
00:12:56,557 --> 00:12:58,777
Truck 12. Pet python
escaped its enclosure.
329
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:00,910
7276 South Kenwood.
330
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,260
And get this.
It's JT Wallace's house.
331
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,044
Holy crap. JT Wallace.
332
00:13:05,044 --> 00:13:06,306
Oh, who's that?
333
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,917
Are you serious?
334
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,180
The wide receiver
for the Seahawks?
335
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:12,617
In what world could I have been
your emergency contact?
336
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,923
Get out.
337
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,098
What, really?
We're doing this again?
338
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,664
I'm not... I can't even
look at you.
339
00:13:22,322 --> 00:13:23,584
Don't look at me!
340
00:13:26,892 --> 00:13:28,285
How the hell
are we gonna find her?
341
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,590
I don't know.
342
00:13:29,590 --> 00:13:30,548
It's just like looking
for someone's lost mutt.
343
00:13:30,678 --> 00:13:34,726
Oh, so we put out some beef
strips and stand behind a bush?
344
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:35,901
I know you're kidding
but do you have beef strips?
345
00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:36,989
Everything I was gonna eat today
346
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,251
got senselessly ripped away
from me.
347
00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:40,993
No. I don't eat gassy foods
on sex days.
348
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,299
Ooh, how's it going
with the yogi by the way?
349
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,343
Do you like him?
350
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,823
As a person?
351
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,781
He's done so much healing
352
00:13:46,912 --> 00:13:48,740
he's healed himself right out of
an actual personality.
353
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:51,134
But in bed, and I say this
as someone
354
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,353
with a sufficiently large
sample pool,
355
00:13:53,353 --> 00:13:54,920
- Mmmhmm.
- uh, he's detail-oriented.
356
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,748
Hmm.
357
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,315
I used to be detail-oriented.
358
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:00,752
That was before I was tired
all the time.
359
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:03,711
Maybe you should try
some of this.
360
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:04,843
- No.
- I'll give you a little.
361
00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:05,757
No. I can't eat that.
362
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:06,932
Yes, you can.
Give it a shot.
363
00:14:06,932 --> 00:14:09,021
It makes everything feel amazing
364
00:14:09,021 --> 00:14:09,892
and you're not really doing
anything different.
365
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,719
It's almost like cheating.
366
00:14:12,024 --> 00:14:13,156
My life's not built for that.
367
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:16,202
Every night I'm taking a kid
to the ER.
368
00:14:16,202 --> 00:14:17,987
Or talking another one down
from a nightmare.
369
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,032
Last night it was
global warming.
370
00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:22,382
I can't discuss polar ice caps
all high and horny.
371
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,645
Oh, my God.
Is that Emily?
372
00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:32,479
Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!
373
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,660
Even Seahawk colors.
374
00:14:42,837 --> 00:14:44,143
Sheesh. You almost beat me.
375
00:14:44,143 --> 00:14:46,189
Yeah. Asher knows
all the shortcuts.
376
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,843
Hey, good luck
with your girlfriend, buddy.
377
00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:50,410
I sincerely hope everything
works out.
378
00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:51,977
Thank God
you're here. Hurry!
379
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,199
He was cleaning the cage.
380
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,505
Holy crap.
381
00:14:58,505 --> 00:15:00,072
It's huge.
382
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:01,421
Frank, have you ever dealt with
something like this before?
383
00:15:01,421 --> 00:15:03,206
No. And I can't tell you
how much,
384
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,772
but something that's not nothing
just slipped out of me
385
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:06,165
and into my underwear.
386
00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:07,819
It's getting tighter.
387
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:09,777
Just remain calm, we're gonna
unwind it from you.
388
00:15:09,777 --> 00:15:11,388
Shred, grab the head.
389
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:13,868
I'm not grabbing the head, man.
It's scary and gross.
390
00:15:13,868 --> 00:15:15,522
The Seahawks have a very shallow
depth chart,
391
00:15:15,522 --> 00:15:16,828
now grab the head.
392
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,177
I'm not touching that thing.
393
00:15:18,177 --> 00:15:19,439
I was led to believe
this job was mostly dogs.
394
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,919
Help him!
395
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,965
This thing is super strong.
Grab something, Shred.
396
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,097
Okay. But I'm closing my eyes.
397
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,794
Is this a bad time to tell you
that I'm a big fan?
398
00:15:26,794 --> 00:15:28,274
Yes.
399
00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:29,972
Okay. Well, it would just
seem phony
400
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,408
if I didn't say anything, right?
401
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,236
Listen, man, you get
this thing off me,
402
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:34,367
I'll sign anything you want.
403
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,978
Really? How about a football?
404
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,022
- Yes.
- How about a jersey?
405
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,023
- Yes.
- A helmet?
406
00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:39,503
Yes.
407
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,070
What about one of those
breast cancer awareness hats-
408
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,375
- Anything!
- That are collectible.
409
00:15:44,812 --> 00:15:46,814
Yeah. I thought I was gonna die.
410
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,905
Okay, yeah, yeah...
411
00:15:51,036 --> 00:15:53,996
Oh, my God.
It's on me now.
412
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:56,172
If I don't make it...
beat the Rams.
413
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:01,046
Oh, my god.
414
00:16:01,046 --> 00:16:04,223
Emily! Hey!
How's it going, girl?
415
00:16:04,223 --> 00:16:05,833
Oh, man. You are really good
out there.
416
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,313
What'd you play
in high school?
417
00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:09,011
- Yeah.
- What are you guys doing here?
418
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,403
Uh, we, we just, uh...
419
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,231
we just came to take you back
to the office.
420
00:16:12,231 --> 00:16:13,450
To the office.
421
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:18,150
Oh. No. I'm not going back.
422
00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:20,457
Yeah. I'm...
I'm never going back.
423
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:21,849
Bye!
424
00:16:21,849 --> 00:16:23,634
Oh, I hate running.
425
00:16:23,764 --> 00:16:26,071
- Emily! Emily!
- Emily!!
426
00:16:26,071 --> 00:16:27,333
My god, she's out of control.
427
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,639
Hello! Emily! Slow down!
Stop guys!
428
00:16:28,769 --> 00:16:29,683
Guys, guys, stop her!
429
00:16:29,683 --> 00:16:31,511
Whoo!
My whole body's buzzing.
430
00:16:31,511 --> 00:16:33,209
I've never felt more alive!
431
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:35,254
Dude, that snake had plans
for you.
432
00:16:35,254 --> 00:16:36,255
A brush with death
433
00:16:36,255 --> 00:16:38,910
and an encounter with
a world-class athlete.
434
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,173
Okay. That's obviously
a little bit hurtful.
435
00:16:41,173 --> 00:16:44,394
I came in 7th at Pyeongchang
but I know it's a niche sport.
436
00:16:44,524 --> 00:16:47,092
Listen, don't get needy but
you were pretty good back there.
437
00:16:47,092 --> 00:16:48,050
Really?
438
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,399
You're already being needy.
439
00:16:49,529 --> 00:16:51,488
I won't say another word.
Except that after this,
440
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:54,056
I can't imagine being in battle
with anyone else.
441
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,970
Snake brothers forever!
442
00:16:56,101 --> 00:16:57,798
Oh, 100 percent did this
to myself.
443
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:00,410
- Again?
- Give me those forms.
444
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,325
- What? What did I do?
- Give me those forms.
445
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,371
- You'll be my emergency contact?
- Give them to me.
446
00:17:05,371 --> 00:17:08,548
Don't get hurt 'cause I'm
pulling the plug for anything.
447
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:09,636
Ooooh!
448
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:12,335
Alright!
449
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,554
Whoo!
450
00:17:14,554 --> 00:17:16,904
I'm finally coming out
of my cocoon!
451
00:17:16,904 --> 00:17:18,080
You're high on drugs!
452
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,952
No, I'm high on life!
453
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,085
Life can't do that,
that's why we have drugs.
454
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,521
- Ah!
- Yes!
455
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:25,870
No, No.
456
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:26,914
Oh, here we go.
457
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,441
I mean, I went to Vienna once
458
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:34,096
but I mostly just stayed
in the hotel.
459
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,141
Like, what was I afraid of?
460
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:39,101
Mmhmm.
I can't do this anymore.
461
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:41,842
I am afraid of so many things.
462
00:17:41,842 --> 00:17:42,582
What does that mean?
463
00:17:42,582 --> 00:17:43,061
You can go.
464
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,236
This is my fault anyway
465
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,672
and I've done this, like,
a hundred times.
466
00:17:45,672 --> 00:17:49,546
Listen, if you need anything,
anything at all,
467
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:50,895
just don't call me.
468
00:17:51,852 --> 00:17:53,202
Bye Emily.
469
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:56,161
Oh, bye- whoa, you have
gorgeous teeth.
470
00:17:56,161 --> 00:18:00,165
Thank you. Okay.
471
00:18:00,165 --> 00:18:05,127
Wait. Did you know I can name
every country in South America?
472
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,084
No, I didn't.
473
00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:08,913
- Okay. Um, I can.
- Okay.
474
00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,132
- Venezuela.
- Yeah.
475
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,003
- Ecuador.
- I deserve this.
476
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:13,091
Colombia, Paraguay.
477
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:21,012
Oh, look what the cat
dragged in.
478
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:23,057
It's nice to see you
too, Dad.
479
00:18:23,188 --> 00:18:27,018
Look, um... I had a near-death
experience today
480
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:31,370
and, I don't know, I don't wanna
die with things left unsaid.
481
00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:33,155
I'm listening.
482
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,373
Anyway, I just wanted you
to know
483
00:18:34,373 --> 00:18:36,288
that you're a terrible father
484
00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:39,335
who never had my back and
I want you to rot in hell.
485
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:47,343
So that's it.
Those are the two items.
486
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:49,214
Well look, uh...
you came this far,
487
00:18:49,214 --> 00:18:51,390
at least come in
and have a beer.
488
00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:52,696
Did you just hear what I said?
489
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:56,395
Yeah. Bad father and, uh...
the rotting thing.
490
00:18:56,395 --> 00:18:57,788
You want a beer or not?
491
00:18:59,006 --> 00:19:00,660
What kind you got?
492
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:04,186
Rainier. I've been drinking
the same beer since I was 12.
493
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,318
You too good for Rainier now?
494
00:19:06,318 --> 00:19:08,581
I've always been too good
for Rainier.
495
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:09,930
What are you, like, 100 now?
496
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:13,673
French Guyana.
Regular Guyana. Chile.
497
00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:15,675
Argentina.
498
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,111
Hang on,
I have to get that.
499
00:19:17,242 --> 00:19:18,200
Wait. No, please don't
leave me.
500
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:18,939
No, you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
501
00:19:18,939 --> 00:19:20,289
Eat your cereal.
502
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,160
Sorry, I don't have any milk.
I know it's dry.
503
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:24,206
Hi.
504
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,207
I'm so happy to see you.
505
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,078
Yeah, you too.
506
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:28,035
As a tantric exercise
507
00:19:28,035 --> 00:19:30,124
I've abstained from sex
for three months.
508
00:19:30,255 --> 00:19:33,215
I intend to focus all that
stored-up energy on you.
509
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,826
Suriname!
I forgot Suriname.
510
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,567
- Uh...
- Who's that?
511
00:19:37,697 --> 00:19:40,265
Is she going to participate
or... just watch?
512
00:19:40,265 --> 00:19:42,136
No. There was an office fridge
mix up
513
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:44,138
and now she's in
another dimension.
514
00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:47,098
Uh... I'm gonna have to stay
here and take care of her.
515
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:51,320
But when she comes down
I could text you.
516
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,278
Three months is
a really long time
517
00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:56,020
and I have a few other friends
in Seattle.
518
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,326
But I'll be back in August.
519
00:19:58,457 --> 00:19:59,502
Bye Victoria.
520
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,025
'Kay. Bye. Cool.
521
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:05,334
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah. Of course.
522
00:20:06,465 --> 00:20:07,814
I only got my job
523
00:20:07,901 --> 00:20:11,253
because of connections
in the mayor's office, so...
524
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,343
I don't deserve it,
I'm a fraud.
525
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,345
That's not true.
That's the drugs talking.
526
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:18,347
Everyone thinks you're great.
527
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:21,088
- Really?
- Yeah. You're great.
528
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,307
You're my best friend.
529
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:25,484
Oh, okay.
That's... that's really nice.
530
00:20:26,485 --> 00:20:27,269
Hang on.
531
00:20:28,008 --> 00:20:29,009
Hello?
532
00:20:29,009 --> 00:20:30,141
Oh, you were right.
533
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:32,622
These chocolates
are a game-changer.
534
00:20:32,752 --> 00:20:34,319
Maya called her mom,
she picked up the kids,
535
00:20:34,319 --> 00:20:36,626
we got the whole night
to ourselves.
536
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:39,281
Wait. Are you seriously
calling me post sex?
537
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:41,326
Yeah, post.
Pre. Pre-pre.
538
00:20:41,326 --> 00:20:42,588
You never know.
539
00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:44,764
Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need
to hold me.
540
00:20:44,764 --> 00:20:46,505
I'm starting to panic
about climate change.
541
00:20:47,767 --> 00:20:51,380
Oh, my God.
We ate the fortune cookies.
542
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,773
Oh, and they were
mighty delicious.
543
00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:55,558
Freaky Friday baby!
544
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,257
- ♪ Always count on me
- Oh boy.
545
00:20:59,257 --> 00:21:00,519
Hello Mister Mayor.
546
00:21:00,519 --> 00:21:04,218
♪ Keep turning,
oh, keep smiling, ♪
547
00:21:04,349 --> 00:21:07,787
♪ knowing you can
always count on me. ♪
548
00:21:07,787 --> 00:21:09,789
♪ Everybody!
For sure! ♪
549
00:21:09,789 --> 00:21:11,313
Oh, I'm going really,
really wide with this.
550
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,315
♪ That's what friends are for.
551
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,881
Adopt these dogs!