1
00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:05,135
[Shred] If you were a dog,
what breed would you be?
2
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,875
[Frank] You know those
hypoallergenic ones,
3
00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:08,225
uh, what are they?
4
00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,401
Oh, the ones that don't answer
stupid questions.
5
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,011
[Dispatch] Truck 12.
Please respond.
6
00:00:12,098 --> 00:00:15,014
Cougar observed at residence.
425 Knoll Drive.
7
00:00:15,101 --> 00:00:16,537
Homeowner is out of town.
8
00:00:16,537 --> 00:00:18,322
Truck 12 responding.
9
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,019
There's been a lot
of sightings lately.
10
00:00:20,106 --> 00:00:20,933
A security camera
at a dry cleaner's
11
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,500
got some great footage.
12
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,242
It's a beautiful animal.
C-38. Majestic.
13
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,679
Poor guy's probably just hungry,
you know?
14
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:28,680
This isn't some cute
little kitty.
15
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,203
You know that right?
16
00:00:30,203 --> 00:00:33,032
Last year in Spokane another
cougar attacked an officer,
17
00:00:33,119 --> 00:00:34,903
broke through his ribcage,
and ate his lungs.
18
00:00:34,903 --> 00:00:38,820
Oh, my God.
Did he survive?
19
00:00:38,907 --> 00:00:41,693
Without lungs? Yup. Yeah.
20
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:43,608
Finished third at
the New York Marathon.
21
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:44,609
Thank God.
22
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,263
You know, I love stories
like that.
23
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,266
Triumph of the human spirit.
You can't keep us down, Frank.
24
00:00:50,745 --> 00:00:52,095
He died, Shred.
25
00:01:00,842 --> 00:01:02,583
Oh, my God.
26
00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:03,671
What?
27
00:01:03,671 --> 00:01:05,586
On the stairs.
Right in the bushes.
28
00:01:05,586 --> 00:01:06,196
You see that?
29
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,067
The hydrangeas or the azaleas?
30
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,938
I don't know.
The pink ones.
31
00:01:09,938 --> 00:01:10,939
Azaleas.
32
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:13,942
Oh my God.
33
00:01:13,942 --> 00:01:14,856
[Frank] Hand me the tranq gun.
34
00:01:14,856 --> 00:01:16,467
If he comes for us,
35
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,208
we're supposed to make
ourselves look big.
36
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,948
Shh. Yeah.
That's the official line.
37
00:01:19,948 --> 00:01:22,081
But here's the real deal.
38
00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:24,562
Cup your junk and
hide behind something.
39
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:27,042
Make your whole package
as inaccessible as possible.
40
00:01:27,042 --> 00:01:28,653
But Frank, I... I heard
they go for your neck.
41
00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:30,002
Yeah, they do.
42
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,482
But it's not about
staying alive,
43
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:34,180
it's about life being
worth living if you survive.
44
00:01:38,184 --> 00:01:39,316
Be careful.
45
00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:41,709
I think I got a clean shot.
46
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:47,933
Unbelievable.
47
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:48,890
What?
48
00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:49,761
[laughs]
49
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:50,849
What are you...
50
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:53,765
Frank? Frank? Frank?
Are you crazy?
51
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:54,983
Cover up your junk.
52
00:01:54,983 --> 00:01:56,289
It's a stuffed animal.
53
00:01:56,289 --> 00:01:57,551
You don't know that.
It might just be asleep.
54
00:01:57,638 --> 00:02:00,772
Yeah. Well, when it wakes up
I'd speak to it in Vietnamese
55
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:03,601
since it's probably
where it was made.
56
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:04,210
They do great work.
57
00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:05,994
Whoo! Okay.
58
00:02:05,994 --> 00:02:07,822
Yeah, I'll make the call
to dispatch.
59
00:02:07,822 --> 00:02:09,607
Let 'em know it's a false alarm.
60
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,217
- Wait.
- What?
61
00:02:11,304 --> 00:02:13,567
You know what Churchill said.
Never let a crisis go to waste.
62
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:14,786
Totally.
63
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:17,267
Quick refresher...
uh, who is Churchill?
64
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:18,659
Relief pitcher
for the Mariners.
65
00:02:18,659 --> 00:02:20,531
I hear that dude's having
a great season.
66
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,707
Look... we both know
this cougar isn't real.
67
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:23,882
Right.
68
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,231
But nobody else does.
69
00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:28,930
So, we have an opportunity to
humiliate a deserving individual
70
00:02:29,017 --> 00:02:30,367
and it would be wrong
to pass that up.
71
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:32,630
Right?
72
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:34,936
Gentlemen.
73
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,504
Templeton... thank God
you're here.
74
00:02:37,504 --> 00:02:39,637
You're lucky I'm working
graveyard this week.
75
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,029
Bring me up to speed.
76
00:02:41,029 --> 00:02:42,161
Come here.
77
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:45,904
The predator is in those bushes.
78
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:47,253
See? Now we've shot him
full of tranqs
79
00:02:47,253 --> 00:02:49,560
but that is one amped-up cat.
80
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,822
Copy.
81
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,521
It takes a big man to admit
when he's in over his head.
82
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,352
So... he's already killed
a couple of dogs.
83
00:02:59,352 --> 00:03:00,832
But the real concern
is the elementary school
84
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:01,920
down the street.
85
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:02,877
Yeah. Breaks my heart
86
00:03:02,877 --> 00:03:04,879
but, I think, we might have
to euthanize.
87
00:03:07,273 --> 00:03:08,709
Stand back, boys.
88
00:03:08,709 --> 00:03:10,668
This is a job for
Mister Remington.
89
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:12,583
Okay.
90
00:03:15,063 --> 00:03:16,239
Bye-bye kitty-cat.
91
00:03:20,286 --> 00:03:22,593
On my orders... fire.
92
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,682
You're gonna order yourself
to fire, sir?
93
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,292
Stop questioning my authority.
94
00:03:26,292 --> 00:03:27,293
Execute!
95
00:03:27,293 --> 00:03:28,555
[gunshot]
96
00:03:30,296 --> 00:03:31,863
[chuckling]
97
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:32,864
What?
98
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,387
[laughing]
That was so good.
99
00:03:34,387 --> 00:03:36,955
That went so much better
than anyone could've hoped for.
100
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:37,999
Oh, my goodness.
101
00:03:37,999 --> 00:03:40,872
[theme song]
102
00:03:40,872 --> 00:04:05,113
♪
103
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:10,815
[Dolores] 'Kay. People are
still not conforming
104
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,904
to recycling protocols.
105
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,253
And once again,
106
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:17,517
a half-eaten hamburger
is not recyclable... Frank.
107
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,130
Thank you, Dolores.
108
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:25,046
Uh, Dolores...
is this recyclable?
109
00:04:25,046 --> 00:04:26,134
Of course.
110
00:04:26,134 --> 00:04:27,222
Oh, terrific.
111
00:04:27,222 --> 00:04:28,615
Yeah. You've done
that joke before.
112
00:04:28,615 --> 00:04:32,489
Well, when you see Elton John
you want him to play Rocket Man.
113
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,187
Uh, Frank? Shred?
Did anything happen recently
114
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,363
that maybe I should be brought
up to speed on?
115
00:04:37,363 --> 00:04:38,669
Which category?
116
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:41,019
Routine checks or events
that were hilarious
117
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,238
and humbled a person
who richly deserved it?
118
00:04:43,238 --> 00:04:46,590
Templeton filed a formal
complaint so now HR is involved.
119
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:50,158
Oh no... not the department you
want as the arbiter of humor.
120
00:04:50,158 --> 00:04:51,943
You know who's sneaky funny?
121
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,510
Payroll.
122
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,816
Look, Emily, we're really sorry
you got dragged into this.
123
00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:58,428
This is one of those rare
occasions where our joy
124
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,473
is worth the suffering
it causes others.
125
00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:02,954
Well, I'm gonna be on the phone
for the next five hours
126
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,085
getting you guys out of trouble.
127
00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:06,131
So, I'm not demanding it,
128
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:07,828
but a large smoothie from the
place that I like on the corner
129
00:05:07,828 --> 00:05:09,395
would be a really
thoughtful surprise.
130
00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:10,875
Oh... absolutely Emily.
131
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:13,312
In fact, I'm gonna get smoothies
for the entire office,
132
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:15,096
including you, Dolores.
133
00:05:15,183 --> 00:05:16,576
Just a gentle reminder,
134
00:05:16,576 --> 00:05:18,230
those cups need to be rinsed
before they're recycled.
135
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:19,536
You bet.
136
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:20,928
Along with the 400 straws
I'm bringing you.
137
00:05:20,928 --> 00:05:22,321
[knocking on door]
138
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:25,846
[whispers] Again, so sorry.
139
00:05:25,846 --> 00:05:29,023
No, absolutely Captain,
I hear you loud and clear.
140
00:05:29,023 --> 00:05:31,286
[whispering] I added the papaya
extract boost.
141
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:32,331
[whispering]
Thank you.
142
00:05:32,418 --> 00:05:33,201
[whispering]
It's an antioxidant.
143
00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:34,855
I figured with all
the truck exhaust
144
00:05:34,855 --> 00:05:36,204
and environmental toxins...
145
00:05:36,204 --> 00:05:37,423
[whispering] You know
I read about that.
146
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:38,424
Do you know what else
is supposed to be...
147
00:05:38,424 --> 00:05:40,513
No, absolutely.
I agree.
148
00:05:40,513 --> 00:05:43,734
It's a very, very
serious incident.
149
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,823
[whispering]
...is pomegranate extract.
150
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,651
I've been taking it,
like, before breakfast
151
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,827
and I feel like I notice
a difference in my skin.
152
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,002
[whispering]
Yeah. You got a glow.
153
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,395
[whispering]
Really?
154
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:53,352
[whispering] What are you doing
for sun protection?
155
00:05:53,439 --> 00:05:55,310
[whispering] Like, SPF 50
and, like, a big floppy hat...
156
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,269
No... exactly, Captain.
157
00:05:57,269 --> 00:06:00,838
No, I... I spoke to the officers
and it won't happen again.
158
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,187
[whispering] Okay.
Super triple promise.
159
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,232
I'm leaving now. Sorry.
160
00:06:04,232 --> 00:06:05,799
[whispering] Oh wait!
I forgot.
161
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,888
I got you this morning
glory muffin.
162
00:06:07,888 --> 00:06:09,107
Crazy amount of fiber.
163
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,064
Not that you need it.
164
00:06:10,064 --> 00:06:11,805
You don't come off
as constipated at all.
165
00:06:13,546 --> 00:06:15,200
You know I'm not a fan
of Templeton but come on,
166
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,028
you went too far.
167
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:19,509
Since at least the bronze age,
pranks have been employed
168
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:22,250
as a necessary form of
workplace justice.
169
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,035
Look... I don't like
to get grandiose.
170
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,297
Oh, you love to get grandiose.
171
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:26,777
That's true, I am pretty good
at it.
172
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,300
But if jerks like Templeton
go left unchecked,
173
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:29,910
they become Vladimir Putin.
174
00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:32,478
So sometimes the children
of light
175
00:06:32,478 --> 00:06:34,262
have to employ the methods
of the children of darkness.
176
00:06:34,262 --> 00:06:35,307
What?
177
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,265
A simple thank you
is all I ask.
178
00:06:37,265 --> 00:06:39,006
And now... good day.
179
00:06:41,182 --> 00:06:42,314
Ugh.
180
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,186
He's insufferable!
181
00:06:45,273 --> 00:06:48,276
That dude deserves some
serious karmic payback.
182
00:06:48,276 --> 00:06:49,582
I don't really believe
in karma.
183
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:54,282
Too many bad things happen to
me when I don't have it coming.
184
00:06:57,938 --> 00:07:00,114
♪
185
00:07:00,201 --> 00:07:01,855
[knocking on door]
186
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,422
I found this in
the recycling bin.
187
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:04,423
It's Frank's.
188
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,338
Okay, you don't know that.
189
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,296
It's a size 14 and
it reeks of arrogance.
190
00:07:08,296 --> 00:07:10,298
Can you just give me a sec?
191
00:07:10,298 --> 00:07:11,604
What's with the pictures
of Shred?
192
00:07:12,518 --> 00:07:13,867
Uh, no... nothing.
193
00:07:13,954 --> 00:07:16,391
I was... I was doing some,
uh, paperwork and I...
194
00:07:16,391 --> 00:07:17,567
"Shred Taylor penis"?
195
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,394
No! No, no, no.
That's not... no.
196
00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:20,874
Why were you Googling that?
197
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,136
No, I... I wasn't.
198
00:07:22,789 --> 00:07:24,878
Well, I was looking up
Shred because of,
199
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,924
like, professional, totally
above-board reasons...
200
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:29,230
um... and I think I just,
I clicked the wrong button.
201
00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:30,841
Do you have a thing for him?
202
00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:32,190
No.
203
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,540
No! No.
He's my employee.
204
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,673
And he has a girlfriend.
205
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,240
And regardless of that
it's... no.
206
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,634
His penis is frozen?
207
00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,203
Yeah. Yeah.
208
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:48,423
Is or was, I don't know.
It's unclear.
209
00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:49,903
How did you even find that?
210
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,339
It's the third thing
that pops up. Okay?
211
00:07:51,339 --> 00:07:53,472
It was "Shred Taylor."
"Shred Taylor Half-pipe."
212
00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:54,908
"Shred Taylor Frozen Penis."
213
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:55,909
You totally have a thing
for him.
214
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,389
No!
215
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,999
We've just been carpooling
a lot and...
216
00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:00,610
and we like the same
cheesy music,
217
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:03,221
and I would never act on it,
but, like... yeah.
218
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:04,439
I looked him up
and it turns out,
219
00:08:04,439 --> 00:08:06,224
when he was injured
on the slopes,
220
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:09,793
his, um... extremities
were impacted by the cold.
221
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:12,273
It's, like, a real-life
condition that affects Sherpas
222
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,060
and ice fisherman
and snowboarders.
223
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:16,582
Well...
224
00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,149
Well what?
225
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:20,194
Does it work?
226
00:08:20,194 --> 00:08:21,456
Okay. Dolores...
227
00:08:21,456 --> 00:08:23,458
None of the articles
say anything about that
228
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:26,070
which is crazy 'cause it's
all anyone wants to know.
229
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,420
It's probably fine but you
should stop researching it,
230
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,204
it's just gonna make
your crush worse.
231
00:08:30,204 --> 00:08:31,554
I don't want it to be fine.
232
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,077
That's the whole thing,
if it's... if it's broken
233
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,426
or if it's, like,
at a weird angle,
234
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:35,427
or if it's just, like,
straight-up gone
235
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:38,169
then I can just let this go.
236
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,605
[laughing]
237
00:08:39,692 --> 00:08:42,042
I'll go get my laptop.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
238
00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:44,915
- This is gonna be so much fun!
- [Emily] Oh, boy.
239
00:08:46,307 --> 00:08:48,048
[alert chiming]
240
00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:49,528
Oh crap, it's still on.
241
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:50,398
What?
242
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,836
Maya hired a photographer
243
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,228
to shoot our Christmas
card tonight.
244
00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:55,316
And I've got boobs.
245
00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:57,057
Oh, no you don't.
246
00:08:57,057 --> 00:08:58,885
I was gonna lose 10 pounds
before the shoot.
247
00:08:58,885 --> 00:09:00,931
But then you know what happened?
I didn't.
248
00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:04,499
She got matching white satin
shirts for the whole family.
249
00:09:04,499 --> 00:09:06,023
White satin, Victoria.
250
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,068
Your wife's insane.
Postpone it.
251
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:10,070
I think it's weird to be doing
it this early anyway.
252
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:12,246
It's a competition thing
with her sister.
253
00:09:12,246 --> 00:09:13,508
And we're never gonna win.
254
00:09:13,508 --> 00:09:15,249
They're a much more
attractive family.
255
00:09:15,249 --> 00:09:16,337
Oh yeah, you showed me
a photo.
256
00:09:16,337 --> 00:09:17,425
They're gorgeous.
257
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:18,078
Hey!
258
00:09:18,078 --> 00:09:19,602
[chair clattering]
259
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,300
Anyone wanna volunteer for
my vaccination clinic Saturday?
260
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,084
[overlapping]
- Oh, I would love that.
- Yeah, I would love to.
261
00:09:24,084 --> 00:09:25,259
- That sounds great!
- Yes! Absolutely.
262
00:09:25,346 --> 00:09:26,739
Great, thanks.
263
00:09:26,739 --> 00:09:29,220
My post-doc resident, Serge,
will be covering for me.
264
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,352
[overlapping]
- Ooh...
- Did you say this Saturday?
265
00:09:31,439 --> 00:09:33,311
Ooh, I've got a kid's soccer
game actually.
266
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:34,399
Actually, I'm free.
267
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:35,661
Really?
268
00:09:35,661 --> 00:09:37,010
Yeah. Totally.
269
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:37,750
You're my hero.
270
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,624
You know what,
I can do it.
271
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,451
I have experience.
I can move some stuff around.
272
00:09:43,451 --> 00:09:44,670
Now you're my hero.
273
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:47,194
No. It's about the dogs,
not about me.
274
00:09:47,194 --> 00:09:48,282
Aww.
275
00:09:48,369 --> 00:09:49,196
[laughs]
276
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,634
You bought that?
277
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,897
You just gave up your Saturday
and you still have no shot.
278
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,377
I'm sorry. Did you get an "aww"
from the Hot Vet?
279
00:09:56,377 --> 00:09:57,857
Are you her hero?
280
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,164
Oh, and Frank...
281
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,252
[chair clattering]
282
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:02,906
I heard what you did
to Templeton,
283
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,690
and I shouldn't admit this,
but hilarious.
284
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:05,648
[laughs]
285
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:06,649
Thanks.
286
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:11,697
You know, it's rare when a hero
is also so funny.
287
00:10:11,697 --> 00:10:13,046
Am I right?
288
00:10:13,699 --> 00:10:14,526
I don't think it was
that funny.
289
00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:15,701
[chair clattering]
290
00:10:15,701 --> 00:10:17,485
Oh, shoot.
False alarm.
291
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:20,097
You got me.
292
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,490
[Shred] I can't stop thinking
about that kid.
293
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:24,710
What kid?
294
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,190
The kid that's gonna
come home,
295
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,583
find his favorite stuffed animal
blown to smithereens,
296
00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,324
lying headless in the driveway.
297
00:10:30,411 --> 00:10:31,195
That kid.
298
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,805
Look... I'm in a good mood.
299
00:10:32,805 --> 00:10:34,198
Why are you trying
to bring me down?
300
00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:36,200
It's just... maybe we should try
to replace it.
301
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,418
Okay. What the hell?
302
00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:38,289
After lunch we'll stop by
a toy store.
303
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,117
- Nice.
- You happy?
304
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,118
- Yes.
- Alright.
305
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,423
[alert chimes]
306
00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:44,512
Whoa. This day just keeps
getting better.
307
00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:47,037
You have her under "Hot Vet"?
308
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,299
Yeah, I can't believe
she's texting me.
309
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,214
Okay, I gotta... I gotta focus.
310
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,432
[brakes screeching]
311
00:10:55,741 --> 00:10:56,699
What are you gonna say?
312
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:57,961
I don't know.
313
00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,353
I wanna engage
without coming on too strong.
314
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,577
Okay. Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
315
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:08,841
What do you think of this?
316
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,497
You nailed it.
317
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:13,672
- Send.
- [laughing]
318
00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:14,717
[alert chimes]
319
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,328
[alert chimes]
[Victoria] Ha, ha! Bingo!
320
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:18,677
He's on the hook.
321
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:19,547
What'd he say?
322
00:11:19,547 --> 00:11:20,984
Just "hey".
323
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,812
He's trying to play it down
like it's no big deal
324
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,597
but I know that he's as giddy
as a little school girl.
325
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,859
What are we gonna text him?
326
00:11:26,859 --> 00:11:28,600
No, nothing yet.
I'm gonna make him sweat.
327
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:29,601
But thank you.
328
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:30,689
Yes.
329
00:11:30,776 --> 00:11:32,386
...By the way.
This was a genius idea.
330
00:11:32,386 --> 00:11:33,648
My wife does it all the time.
331
00:11:33,648 --> 00:11:35,172
I'll leave my phone somewhere
332
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,434
and when she calls me,
333
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:37,740
her name comes up as
"suburban sex goddess"
334
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:38,784
or "spicy mama".
335
00:11:38,784 --> 00:11:40,133
[chuckling]
336
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,352
Or "need almond milk".
337
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,266
That one's just when she needs
almond milk.
338
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:43,354
- No, I... I got that.
- Yeah.
339
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:44,659
Anything?
340
00:11:44,659 --> 00:11:46,183
Nothing. Total silence.
341
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,490
Three dots and a bubble,
here we go!
342
00:11:49,577 --> 00:11:51,536
So, she's crafting
her words carefully.
343
00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,494
- Oh, hell yeah.
- Come on.
344
00:11:53,581 --> 00:11:57,281
Okay, how does this sound?
My thing got cancelled.
345
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,587
"...so, you'll be stuck with me
all day Saturday."
346
00:11:59,587 --> 00:12:01,024
Yes!
347
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,373
Dude, have some champagne
chilled in the truck,
348
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:03,809
just in case.
349
00:12:03,809 --> 00:12:05,724
Right? It does feel officially
safe to get cocky.
350
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:07,247
Yes.
351
00:12:07,247 --> 00:12:07,813
[laughs]
352
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,039
[Emily] Okay, there's gotta
be something.
353
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,344
Do you have anything?
354
00:12:17,431 --> 00:12:19,607
Zero. And some of the websites
I stumbled onto
355
00:12:19,607 --> 00:12:21,000
were not what I was thinking
356
00:12:21,087 --> 00:12:22,175
and I'm scared there's gonna be
a knock on my door.
357
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:24,047
Okay, this is maddening.
358
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,397
I cannot be the only person
in the universe
359
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:29,052
who wants to know the condition
of Shred Taylor's penis.
360
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,924
Alright. I'm gonna use Patel's
computer and hit the dark web.
361
00:12:35,536 --> 00:12:37,060
None of these are big enough.
362
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:40,063
Okay. She just said, "is it
weird I'm texting you?
363
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,847
"You know, since
we're coworkers".
364
00:12:41,847 --> 00:12:43,283
Well, that's a good point,
you know,
365
00:12:43,283 --> 00:12:44,719
'cause it could get awkward.
366
00:12:44,719 --> 00:12:46,504
Are you sure you wanna
take it there?
367
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:47,679
I would take a lifetime
of awkward
368
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,550
just to spend one night
with her.
369
00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:50,421
So, what do you think of this?
370
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,422
[keypad clicking]
371
00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:53,511
Maybe a little.
372
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,905
No. Don't say that.
You're gonna get in her head.
373
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:56,862
Exactly. Keep her off balance.
374
00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:58,168
Why would you wanna do that?
375
00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,865
This is a game of chess,
it's a battle of wits.
376
00:12:59,865 --> 00:13:01,649
No, it's more like a dance.
377
00:13:01,649 --> 00:13:02,912
And I'm not saying that
378
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,783
just 'cause I don't know how
to play chess.
379
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:07,742
Hold her hand.
See where the music takes you.
380
00:13:07,742 --> 00:13:09,788
I haven't been on a date
in five months
381
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,529
so I'm not letting you get
in my head.
382
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,487
I'm sticking with chess.
I'm sending it.
383
00:13:13,574 --> 00:13:15,533
- Fine.
- [alert chimes]
384
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:16,534
But we're wasting our time.
385
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,797
I know where to get a giant
stuffed animal.
386
00:13:18,884 --> 00:13:20,407
Wait. They have really good
puzzles here.
387
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,715
"Maybe a little."
388
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:25,456
What a jerk.
Who even says that?
389
00:13:26,587 --> 00:13:27,588
Are you listening to me?
390
00:13:28,763 --> 00:13:31,027
I'm spinning out about
this damn Christmas card.
391
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,333
I'm gonna be on refrigerators
all over Seattle.
392
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,292
A diet inspiration for pudgy,
middle-aged men.
393
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,250
I just find it hilarious
that mister slobbering
394
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,384
all over himself is suddenly
mister self-control.
395
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:41,776
He takes, like, 10 minutes
396
00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:43,778
to craft each of his
three-word replies.
397
00:13:43,778 --> 00:13:45,650
I'm gonna be a white satin
man boob reminder
398
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:46,869
to put down the ice cream.
399
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,784
I wanna help my community, yeah,
but not like that.
400
00:13:49,784 --> 00:13:51,612
I'm gonna tell him I had a dream
about him last night.
401
00:13:52,352 --> 00:13:54,354
No, that's mean.
Don't do that.
402
00:13:54,354 --> 00:13:55,312
Too mean or good mean?
403
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,357
You know what I think?
404
00:13:57,357 --> 00:13:58,619
What do you think?
405
00:13:58,706 --> 00:13:59,925
I don't think you're getting
off on the cruelty of the prank,
406
00:13:59,925 --> 00:14:02,275
I think you're just getting off.
407
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,624
What?
408
00:14:03,624 --> 00:14:05,583
[laughs] Yeah. I think you
like the flirtation.
409
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:06,627
I think you like him.
410
00:14:06,714 --> 00:14:07,890
Frank? That's crazy.
411
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,717
Okay, then why...
why are you blushing?
412
00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:10,849
I'm not blushing.
413
00:14:10,936 --> 00:14:12,633
I'm emotionally tormenting
someone because it's fun.
414
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:13,808
Mmhmm.
415
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,985
I've got my flaws
and I'm fine with it.
416
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,290
At least your flaws
are on the inside.
417
00:14:17,638 --> 00:14:18,857
[laughs] Right?
418
00:14:18,944 --> 00:14:20,032
[Dispatch] Truck eight.
Please respond.
419
00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:22,034
Kangaroo escaped
from the Seattle Zoo.
420
00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:24,689
Zookeeper is requesting back-up.
101 East Webster.
421
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:27,387
Truck eight responding.
422
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,389
Okay. I'm gonna need you
to focus.
423
00:14:29,389 --> 00:14:31,391
Okay. I'm bringing out
the big guns.
424
00:14:31,391 --> 00:14:33,524
I'm gonna blow his horny
little mind.
425
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,307
[keypad clicking]
426
00:14:36,396 --> 00:14:37,789
Come on... no service?
427
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,096
What is it, the bumper cars
are interfering?
428
00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:42,533
Will you please knock these down
so we can get outta here.
429
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:43,490
I'm trying, Frank.
430
00:14:46,406 --> 00:14:48,060
What is going on?
I thought you were an athlete.
431
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:49,975
Yeah, in a leg-based sport.
This is, like, an arm sport.
432
00:14:49,975 --> 00:14:51,324
There's wrist stuff...
433
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:52,804
I gotta get back
into cell service.
434
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,589
See? It's not so easy.
435
00:14:55,589 --> 00:14:56,851
Excuse me. Sir?
436
00:14:56,851 --> 00:14:58,679
How much for that huge lion
on the top row?
437
00:14:58,766 --> 00:14:59,898
Prizes are not for sale.
438
00:14:59,898 --> 00:15:01,030
Look at that, Shred.
439
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,553
We found the one carny
with scruples.
440
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:03,815
Can you believe it?
441
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:04,772
We can... we can earn it.
442
00:15:04,772 --> 00:15:06,731
Okay.
Well, how about... now?
443
00:15:09,603 --> 00:15:11,779
That might get you something
from the second row.
444
00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:12,606
Like a little badger.
445
00:15:12,693 --> 00:15:13,607
But are you serious?
446
00:15:13,694 --> 00:15:16,088
We need the lion, Frank.
447
00:15:16,088 --> 00:15:17,611
How much for something
from the top row?
448
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:19,352
Three badgers.
449
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:22,703
There's a cash machine
by the funnel cakes.
450
00:15:22,790 --> 00:15:23,661
Two and a half badgers!
451
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:24,879
This is extortion.
452
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:26,969
This was a very
reasonable bribe.
453
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:28,883
Excuse me, guys, sorry.
454
00:15:28,883 --> 00:15:30,668
Excuse me, coming through guys.
Thank you.
455
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,452
Officer Patel,
This is Officer Sands.
456
00:15:32,452 --> 00:15:33,366
What's the situation?
457
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:36,935
Jumping Jack.
Second time he's escaped.
458
00:15:37,022 --> 00:15:38,458
Anyway, we got him trapped.
459
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,503
What do you need from us?
460
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,939
Not much.
461
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,680
Just stay here and help keep
away the looky-loos.
462
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,681
- Hmm.
- 'Kay.
463
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,074
Alright, Jack.
464
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,684
Don't you need, like, a net
or something?
465
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,207
No, just grab him
by the tail.
466
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:49,948
Sure.
467
00:15:50,035 --> 00:15:51,776
Alright, Jack.
Vacation's over, buddy.
468
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:52,995
Okay. Whoa!
469
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:54,866
[Victoria] Um...
470
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,215
What... what should we do?
471
00:15:56,215 --> 00:15:59,479
Stand your ground.
We'll sneak up from behind.
472
00:15:59,479 --> 00:16:01,525
Ooh... hey mate.
473
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:02,352
Just like this?
474
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:03,831
[Victoria]
G'day. Hello.
475
00:16:04,571 --> 00:16:05,746
What's he doing?
476
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:11,056
Don't mess with me, kangaroo.
I boxed Golden Gloves.
477
00:16:11,056 --> 00:16:12,144
[kangaroo growling]
478
00:16:12,144 --> 00:16:13,667
He's got a crazy look
in his eye.
479
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:14,712
Keep him engaged.
480
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,714
Roger. I'll amp up
the trash talk.
481
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:18,672
What do you weigh, 140?
Huh?
482
00:16:18,672 --> 00:16:19,978
Welterweight's got nothing
on me, Jack.
483
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,371
I'm 160.
484
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:24,069
Wouldn't telling him
your real weight be scarier?
485
00:16:24,069 --> 00:16:26,506
Don't press on my insecurities!
486
00:16:26,506 --> 00:16:27,899
He doesn't seem afraid of you.
487
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:30,858
Oh yeah?
You ready to go? Huh?
488
00:16:30,858 --> 00:16:31,859
'Cause I'm ready to go.
489
00:16:31,859 --> 00:16:33,035
[punch lands]
490
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,079
Oh!
491
00:16:34,079 --> 00:16:37,256
That's gotta hurt, yeah.
You okay?
492
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,085
Keep it up,
just a little longer.
493
00:16:40,085 --> 00:16:41,043
Is that all you got?
494
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,479
[kangaroo growls]
495
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,655
- [thudding]
- [crowd gasps]
496
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:47,092
Oh, mate. Ow, yeah.
Down you go.
497
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:49,964
[Zookeeper] Okay. We got him!
498
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:51,270
- Good work, officer.
- See ya, mate.
499
00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:53,098
See ya.
500
00:16:53,707 --> 00:16:55,100
[groaning]
501
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,190
How you doing down there?
Yeah? You a bit winded?
502
00:16:58,190 --> 00:16:59,278
[Frank] Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
503
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,673
Oh! Finally, a signal.
Three bars.
504
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:03,717
[alert chimes]
505
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,590
She... she wants me
to come over tonight
506
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:09,071
for a quote unquote drink.
507
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:12,596
Holy moly!
The Hot Vet and me!
508
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,380
Knight to queen four!
509
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:17,470
- What?
- It's chess!
510
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,653
I can't believe I got my
ass kicked by a kangaroo.
511
00:17:26,653 --> 00:17:27,785
Hmm.
512
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:28,916
[alert chimes]
513
00:17:28,916 --> 00:17:30,831
Ooh! Mrs. Claus is texting you.
514
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:32,311
Crap. I forgot about
the photo shoot.
515
00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:38,056
Which I no longer have to do.
516
00:17:38,143 --> 00:17:39,101
Maya's not gonna want
a Christmas card
517
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,928
with this hideous face on it.
518
00:17:45,019 --> 00:17:46,717
Everything's coming up Patel.
519
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:47,718
[laughs]
520
00:17:58,729 --> 00:17:59,730
[doorbell rings]
521
00:18:12,177 --> 00:18:13,787
Uh... by any chance
522
00:18:13,787 --> 00:18:16,790
are you someone we work
with's roommate?
523
00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:17,965
The Hot Vet just doesn't seem
like the type
524
00:18:17,965 --> 00:18:20,490
to do something like this.
525
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:22,187
Collette, Frank.
Her name is Collette.
526
00:18:22,187 --> 00:18:25,408
Collette the vet?
That's unfortunate.
527
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:26,974
This is ridiculous.
I'm just gonna call her.
528
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,194
[phone vibrating and chiming]
529
00:18:29,194 --> 00:18:30,108
[gasps]
530
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,327
Yes.
531
00:18:33,198 --> 00:18:34,547
Hello.
532
00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:36,680
Victoria? What are you doing
with Hot Vet's phone?
533
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,334
You tell me.
You're the expert on pranks.
534
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,075
Oh, my God, it was you?
535
00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:43,208
Sometimes the children
of the light
536
00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:46,211
need to use the methods
of the children of darkness.
537
00:18:46,211 --> 00:18:47,647
The whole time?
538
00:18:47,647 --> 00:18:48,692
How does it feel?
539
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:49,997
[Frank] Bad. It feels
really bad.
540
00:18:49,997 --> 00:18:51,303
Yeah.
541
00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:52,609
[Frank] But I gotta say,
I'm a little impressed.
542
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:55,525
If I were wearing a cap,
I would tip it to you.
543
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:58,963
Oh, I would love that.
But did you learn anything?
544
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:01,270
Yes. That I can dish it out
but I absolutely can't take it.
545
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,706
So, will you stop pranking
people so much?
546
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:04,316
No.
547
00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:06,536
But I will be more vigilant
about not getting gotten myself.
548
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:10,061
And, I don't know when,
it may take years...
549
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,105
but I will retaliate.
550
00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:11,889
[Victoria] Can't wait.
551
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:12,803
Goodnight Victoria.
552
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:14,718
[giggling]
553
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,241
Sucka lucka.
554
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,982
I'm sorry, Delores,
555
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:21,551
that you became a pawn
in Victoria's sick game.
556
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,248
Leave the bottle of wine
and we'll call it even.
557
00:19:24,684 --> 00:19:25,729
I don't know.
558
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:28,122
I had high hopes for this
evening and I splurged.
559
00:19:28,122 --> 00:19:29,385
Okay, what about one glass?
560
00:19:30,777 --> 00:19:31,996
That seems fair.
561
00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:35,565
I gotta say,
562
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:39,351
you are being very
not horrible about all this.
563
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,137
Hey, can I ask you something?
564
00:19:43,137 --> 00:19:45,966
Has Shred ever mentioned
an unusual sports injury?
565
00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:47,272
Oh, you read about
the frozen penis thing
566
00:19:47,272 --> 00:19:48,186
and wanna know if
it still works?
567
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:49,361
There's been some discussion.
568
00:19:49,448 --> 00:19:53,713
Oh, I've asked him.
And it's... a-okay.
569
00:19:53,713 --> 00:19:55,759
And I've seen it.
In the restroom.
570
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:58,849
It's, and I don't know
how else to describe it...
571
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,505
Gorgeous. It's pristine.
572
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,071
Like a renaissance artist
sculpted it
573
00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:06,335
and then killed himself 'cause
he could do no finer work.
574
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:08,075
God, that guy just glides
through life.
575
00:20:08,075 --> 00:20:09,773
The universe is truly garbage.
576
00:20:12,384 --> 00:20:14,691
Would it be unpleasant if I
joined you for a glass?
577
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,083
It would not be unpleasant.
578
00:20:16,997 --> 00:20:18,869
As long as you properly recycle
that bottle.
579
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,001
Did you just make a joke?
580
00:20:22,307 --> 00:20:23,090
Maybe.
581
00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:27,138
I hope the kid likes it.
582
00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:28,661
This is really nice of you.
583
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,750
No... it's not
that big a deal.
584
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:31,577
- [alert chimes]
- Oh.
585
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:36,278
[under her breath]
No...
586
00:20:36,843 --> 00:20:38,018
Okay buddy.
587
00:20:38,105 --> 00:20:38,845
[to herself]
Are you kidding?
588
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:41,805
[sighs]
589
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:42,936
You ready to go?
You alright?
590
00:20:43,023 --> 00:20:45,025
- Yeah, oh yeah.
- Okay.
591
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:48,333
- Whoa!
- What?
592
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:49,465
Down the street.
593
00:20:51,118 --> 00:20:52,163
[Emily gasps]
594
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,251
[Shred] Wow.
595
00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:59,997
Frank was right.
It is majestic.
596
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,042
It's beautiful.
597
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:05,568
Um... but also super dangerous
598
00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:08,092
so maybe we should get back
in the car and report it.
599
00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,789
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
600
00:21:09,789 --> 00:21:11,313
- We should be fast.
- Oh, my God.
601
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:14,751
[Dispatch] To all units...
602
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:18,232
two off-duty officers report
a cougar at 425 Knoll Drive.
603
00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:19,930
Officer Dutch responding.
604
00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:22,280
I am instructing
the reporting officers
605
00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:24,717
to take their fake cougar
and shove it up their-
606
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:25,457
[bleep]
607
00:21:26,893 --> 00:21:27,938
Over.
608
00:21:29,853 --> 00:21:32,116
[breathing heavily]
609
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,378
No one can know about this.
610
00:21:33,378 --> 00:21:35,032
Obviously.
611
00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:37,382
This was like a one...
one-and-a-half time thing.
612
00:21:37,382 --> 00:21:38,775
Obviously.