1 00:00:02,779 --> 00:00:04,848 Hey. How was your big date night with Maya? 2 00:00:04,848 --> 00:00:05,849 Didn't happen. 3 00:00:05,849 --> 00:00:06,983 Oh, what? 4 00:00:06,983 --> 00:00:08,819 You were so excited for the full sensory experience 5 00:00:08,819 --> 00:00:10,187 of unprotected sex. 6 00:00:10,187 --> 00:00:12,823 Yeah. I was very excited to test drive my new vasectomy. 7 00:00:12,823 --> 00:00:16,227 Unfortunately, my son Danny, AKA the libido killer, 8 00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:18,329 came in with a, "soy elbow." 9 00:00:18,329 --> 00:00:21,165 You guys should just get a hotel room and go nuts. 10 00:00:21,165 --> 00:00:22,366 Is that a real suggestion? 11 00:00:22,366 --> 00:00:23,234 That's something that you think 12 00:00:23,234 --> 00:00:24,468 is in the realm of reality for me? 13 00:00:24,468 --> 00:00:27,371 Okay. God, you're so cranky. Just have sex already. 14 00:00:27,371 --> 00:00:28,572 - I'm not cranky, I'm just... - You are cranky! 15 00:00:28,572 --> 00:00:30,040 No, I'm just telling you what the reality is. 16 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,508 That is what that is, is cranky. 17 00:00:31,508 --> 00:00:33,210 All available trucks respond. 18 00:00:33,210 --> 00:00:34,378 Report of a loose goose. 19 00:00:34,378 --> 00:00:35,512 Loose goose. 20 00:00:35,512 --> 00:00:36,980 The bird just arrived in port from Hong Kong 21 00:00:36,980 --> 00:00:39,883 and needs to be quarantined for possible avian flu. 22 00:00:39,883 --> 00:00:40,917 So this call is... 23 00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:42,052 A wild goose chase. 24 00:00:43,854 --> 00:00:45,489 The address is... 25 00:00:48,492 --> 00:00:50,527 1414 Hollingshead Avenue. 26 00:00:50,527 --> 00:00:51,428 Truck 12 responding. 27 00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:52,429 Truck 8 responding. 28 00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,730 We got dibs. 29 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:54,898 No. Actually, we have dibs. 30 00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:56,200 You guys got the last animal metaphor. 31 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,669 Remember the elephant in the room at the crazy bar mitzvah? 32 00:00:58,669 --> 00:00:59,870 Mmhmm. 33 00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:01,372 You guys got the one down by the docks, the red herring. 34 00:01:01,372 --> 00:01:03,073 No, no, no. That turned out to be nothing. 35 00:01:03,073 --> 00:01:04,775 Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Go! Go! 36 00:01:04,775 --> 00:01:06,109 - There's a car in front of me. - Go around! 37 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,578 I'm gonna take Highland, we're just around the corner. 38 00:01:07,578 --> 00:01:08,712 I was gonna say take Highland. 39 00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:10,547 Hey everyone. 40 00:01:10,547 --> 00:01:12,048 Just a reminder, we're doing our animal adoption today 41 00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:14,851 so I'll need at least one team back at the office. 42 00:01:14,851 --> 00:01:15,752 Get out of the way! 43 00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:16,953 Move! We're gonna miss this. 44 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:19,256 Please do not cross over the midline of the seat. 45 00:01:22,726 --> 00:01:25,362 Truck 8 at the scene. We have eyes on the goose. 46 00:01:25,362 --> 00:01:26,930 Repeat, we have eyes on the goose. 47 00:01:27,698 --> 00:01:29,099 Yeehaw! 48 00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:33,470 Truck 12 returning to precinct for animal adoption day. 49 00:01:33,470 --> 00:01:35,138 Okay. Please don't say it like that, Frank. 50 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,807 It's a big community event. 51 00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:41,144 Oh my God, that honk just gave me goosebumps. 52 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:44,315 We really got your goose on this one. 53 00:01:44,315 --> 00:01:45,416 That's a lot of puns. 54 00:01:45,416 --> 00:01:48,819 Frank, this goose is officially cooked. 55 00:01:48,819 --> 00:01:49,886 Nice. 56 00:01:50,454 --> 00:01:51,288 Hey! 57 00:01:51,288 --> 00:01:52,556 Come here, buddy. It's okay. 58 00:01:52,556 --> 00:01:54,124 Come here. 59 00:01:54,825 --> 00:01:55,959 - Whoa. - Whoa. 60 00:02:27,924 --> 00:02:29,926 Today only, free spay and neuter 61 00:02:29,926 --> 00:02:31,362 with any adoption. 62 00:02:31,362 --> 00:02:32,329 Hey. 63 00:02:32,329 --> 00:02:34,197 Hi. I really like this rooster. 64 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:36,166 They are a big responsibility if they're a pet. 65 00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:36,867 Where do you live? 66 00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:37,934 I'm in the dorms. 67 00:02:37,934 --> 00:02:39,436 Ooh. Could I interest you in something else? 68 00:02:39,436 --> 00:02:41,137 Maybe a turtle or a long novel? 69 00:02:41,137 --> 00:02:41,972 Um... 70 00:02:41,972 --> 00:02:43,607 What's up Precinct 22? 71 00:02:43,607 --> 00:02:46,209 Hey Rick! How you doing, buddy? 72 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,879 Better now. I love adoption day. 73 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:50,347 Wait a minute. 74 00:02:50,347 --> 00:02:51,315 There's something different about you. 75 00:02:51,315 --> 00:02:52,649 Oh, is there? 76 00:02:52,649 --> 00:02:54,150 Whoop! 77 00:02:54,150 --> 00:02:55,151 You got a new ear! 78 00:02:55,151 --> 00:02:56,219 This one's from Denmark. 79 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:58,188 It was waiting on my doorstep this morning, 80 00:02:58,188 --> 00:03:00,156 snapped right into place. 81 00:03:00,156 --> 00:03:00,991 Who's this guy? 82 00:03:00,991 --> 00:03:02,993 Oh, this is Toby. Fresh out of a bath. 83 00:03:02,993 --> 00:03:05,061 I brushed his teeth with liver-flavored toothpaste, 84 00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:07,398 which feels like a lateral move breath-wise. 85 00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:08,532 Let's find this boy a home. 86 00:03:08,532 --> 00:03:10,000 This is the best dog in the house. 87 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,002 Toby and I actually started here the same week. 88 00:03:12,002 --> 00:03:13,637 Oh, that's great. Where's Emily? 89 00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:14,705 Ah, in her office. 90 00:03:14,705 --> 00:03:16,840 Don't you wanna hear more stories about the dog? 91 00:03:18,008 --> 00:03:19,310 They're boring as hell. 92 00:03:21,044 --> 00:03:23,179 Good morning. Just wanted to pop my head in 93 00:03:23,179 --> 00:03:24,981 and say hi on the big day. 94 00:03:26,883 --> 00:03:29,219 Okay. You just say "hey" whenever you're ready. 95 00:03:29,219 --> 00:03:30,854 Oh, hi. Uh, sorry, sorry. 96 00:03:30,854 --> 00:03:32,088 Thanks for stopping by. 97 00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:36,560 I'm just... I'm kind of alarmed right now just because of... 98 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,661 Hey, is that a new...? 99 00:03:37,661 --> 00:03:39,095 Ear? Yeah. 100 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:39,930 It's nice. 101 00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:41,498 Thank you. It was not cheap. 102 00:03:41,498 --> 00:03:42,232 Oh. 103 00:03:42,232 --> 00:03:43,834 So, uh... what's so alarming? 104 00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,569 I just... 105 00:03:45,569 --> 00:03:48,905 Um... the inventory is off. Something is missing. 106 00:03:48,905 --> 00:03:49,773 Don't sweat it. 107 00:03:49,773 --> 00:03:51,875 Most of the big stuff is insured. 108 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:54,044 The smaller stuff often times shows up. 109 00:03:54,044 --> 00:03:55,612 It's a tranquilizer dart. 110 00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:57,781 Got it. You will have to have that back today. 111 00:03:57,781 --> 00:04:00,351 It's a dart full of a federally regulated drug. 112 00:04:00,351 --> 00:04:02,453 I could totally get fired for this, right? 113 00:04:02,453 --> 00:04:04,421 You got this. You're gonna track it down. 114 00:04:04,421 --> 00:04:05,422 And if you want, 115 00:04:05,422 --> 00:04:08,091 I can stay and help out with adoption day. 116 00:04:08,091 --> 00:04:09,960 That would be amazing. Thank you. 117 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,895 You think it's possible that someone on staff took it? 118 00:04:11,895 --> 00:04:14,297 Take a tranquilizer dart filled with ketamine? 119 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,432 No. 120 00:04:15,432 --> 00:04:19,903 Wait. Yes. There is one incredibly logical person. 121 00:04:20,904 --> 00:04:21,972 Oh yeah, here we go. 122 00:04:22,773 --> 00:04:23,707 Emily. 123 00:04:23,707 --> 00:04:26,142 Hey. Do you have a sec? 124 00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:27,611 You can't outrun me, goose! 125 00:04:27,611 --> 00:04:28,745 Yeah. 126 00:04:28,745 --> 00:04:31,415 I don't really know how to get into this so, um... 127 00:04:31,415 --> 00:04:33,650 do you know anything about a missing tranquilizer dart? 128 00:04:35,118 --> 00:04:37,921 Uh... no I don't. Why? 129 00:04:37,921 --> 00:04:41,758 I did my inventory early and it's off 130 00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:44,227 and I know with your recreational drug use... 131 00:04:44,227 --> 00:04:46,563 Are you accusing me of mainlining a dart? 132 00:04:46,563 --> 00:04:48,231 No! 133 00:04:48,231 --> 00:04:51,468 It's just I've heard you mention ketamine specifically before. 134 00:04:51,468 --> 00:04:53,570 I don't think that's accurate. 135 00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:54,805 Are you kidding me?! 136 00:04:54,805 --> 00:04:57,608 You said sex on ketamine is like boinking on a cloud. 137 00:04:57,608 --> 00:05:00,110 No, that doesn't sound like something I would say. 138 00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:01,512 And then when you went to Idaho, 139 00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:02,746 you came back and you said, 140 00:05:02,746 --> 00:05:06,282 you know what the best thing about Boise is... ketamine. 141 00:05:06,282 --> 00:05:08,519 Might I remind you, you stole drugs from me. 142 00:05:08,519 --> 00:05:10,454 Because I thought they were chocolates. 143 00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:11,622 So you claim. 144 00:05:11,622 --> 00:05:13,256 But maybe you should put yourself on the suspect list. 145 00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:14,357 Okay, this is not constructive. 146 00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:16,259 Let's just forget this conversation happened. 147 00:05:17,594 --> 00:05:18,795 So close! 148 00:05:18,795 --> 00:05:22,098 Not sure you can unring that bell but, yeah, I'll try. 149 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,536 How'd your call go? Did you have a nice chat? 150 00:05:25,536 --> 00:05:27,270 Yeah, great. I just need to make one more. 151 00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:28,304 Keep him cornered. 152 00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:29,205 Take your time. 153 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,373 I'll keep chasing the goose by myself. 154 00:05:34,511 --> 00:05:35,211 Hello? 155 00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,312 We have a problem. 156 00:05:36,312 --> 00:05:37,681 Emily knows about the missing tranquilizer dart. 157 00:05:38,715 --> 00:05:39,816 Just one second. 158 00:05:39,816 --> 00:05:41,051 Okay. 159 00:05:41,051 --> 00:05:42,986 How? She doesn't do inventory until the end of the month. 160 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:45,155 I thought we had a few more weeks to find a replacement. 161 00:05:45,155 --> 00:05:46,523 Yeah, well she did it early. 162 00:05:46,523 --> 00:05:49,325 Why? Does that nerd think she's going to get extra credit? 163 00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:51,695 Ah, Darlene. Just one more sec. 164 00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:53,997 Does she suspect us? 165 00:05:53,997 --> 00:05:54,831 No, not yet. 166 00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:55,966 But it's only a matter of time 167 00:05:55,966 --> 00:05:58,168 before she finds out we used it on the mountain lion. 168 00:05:58,168 --> 00:05:59,470 You do know it has a name, right? 169 00:05:59,470 --> 00:06:02,372 C-38. Man, you're so weird about him. 170 00:06:02,372 --> 00:06:04,675 Yeah, well if this goes up the chain, he gets euthanized. 171 00:06:04,675 --> 00:06:06,409 Yeah, and I will get deported, 172 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,311 which is even more tragic because I'm human. 173 00:06:08,311 --> 00:06:09,513 Okay. I thought your guy at the zoo 174 00:06:09,513 --> 00:06:10,481 was gonna steal us a dart. 175 00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:12,182 He's not responding to my messages. 176 00:06:12,182 --> 00:06:14,818 Shocker that your black market ketamine connection is a flake. 177 00:06:14,818 --> 00:06:16,319 And why did you have to tranq him? 178 00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:19,189 He was lunging at us. We'd both be dead if I didn't. 179 00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:21,525 Man, Emily's all over this thing. 180 00:06:21,525 --> 00:06:22,726 I'm gonna have to find a way 181 00:06:22,726 --> 00:06:23,727 to distract her at the office. 182 00:06:23,727 --> 00:06:25,696 Maybe send her on a wild goose chase of her own. 183 00:06:26,897 --> 00:06:28,665 It's a real shame you said that, Frank. 184 00:06:28,665 --> 00:06:30,066 Do you think you could track down a dart 185 00:06:30,066 --> 00:06:31,001 by the end of the day? 186 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:32,836 Yeah. Sure. I'm on it. 187 00:06:32,836 --> 00:06:33,403 Okay. 188 00:06:33,403 --> 00:06:33,937 Bye. 189 00:06:34,938 --> 00:06:35,839 Victoria! 190 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:36,740 What!!! 191 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,509 Emily... can I talk to you for a second? 192 00:06:38,509 --> 00:06:40,076 Yeah. Um, just one sec. 193 00:06:41,077 --> 00:06:42,178 Hey. 194 00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:43,747 Hey, uh, Victoria told me all about the missing dart 195 00:06:43,747 --> 00:06:45,549 and I'm sure you are all over it 196 00:06:45,549 --> 00:06:46,917 but I just wanna let you know 197 00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:48,418 that I'm here if you need any help. 198 00:06:48,418 --> 00:06:50,954 Thanks. You're gesturing a lot with that turtle. 199 00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:52,388 Oh. Right. 200 00:06:52,388 --> 00:06:55,225 Darlene, hey. Congratulations on your adoption. 201 00:06:55,225 --> 00:06:57,193 And remember, they live 80 years. 202 00:06:59,029 --> 00:07:01,097 So, are you gonna run some kind of investigation? 203 00:07:01,097 --> 00:07:02,198 Probably. 204 00:07:02,198 --> 00:07:03,967 Yeah. Do you have any interrogation experience? 205 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:07,137 No. I actually hate making people feel uncomfortable. 206 00:07:07,137 --> 00:07:09,139 I love making people uncomfortable. 207 00:07:09,139 --> 00:07:11,742 So we should team up. A little good cop, nervous cop? 208 00:07:11,742 --> 00:07:15,045 Uh... yeah, okay. Yeah, sure, thanks. 209 00:07:15,045 --> 00:07:17,113 Yeah, I can already see the flop sweat. 210 00:07:17,113 --> 00:07:18,414 You are a natural at this. 211 00:07:18,414 --> 00:07:19,149 What? 212 00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:20,984 No. 213 00:07:26,222 --> 00:07:27,423 He sure does seem affectionate. 214 00:07:27,423 --> 00:07:28,625 Oh yeah, he's a great dog. 215 00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:31,928 He's very loving, smart, house broken, had all his shots. 216 00:07:31,928 --> 00:07:33,263 He is the full package. 217 00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:35,832 Well... maybe not full. He's fixed. 218 00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:37,768 We've got a big yard for him to run around in. 219 00:07:37,768 --> 00:07:39,469 Three acres, all fenced. 220 00:07:39,469 --> 00:07:41,271 Three acres? Take me home. 221 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,141 Well, we'd love to fill out an application. 222 00:07:45,141 --> 00:07:46,076 Oh yeah? Absolutely. 223 00:07:46,076 --> 00:07:47,978 But first we should talk anal glands. 224 00:07:49,012 --> 00:07:50,614 His need to be expressed regularly 225 00:07:50,614 --> 00:07:52,616 and he is not a big fan of the process. 226 00:07:52,616 --> 00:07:53,750 Okay. Sure. 227 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:55,118 It's a full sensory experience 228 00:07:55,118 --> 00:07:57,453 and you gotta wear clothes you're not afraid to throw away. 229 00:07:57,453 --> 00:07:59,355 And that has to happen weekly. 230 00:08:02,926 --> 00:08:04,761 Yeah. We're, um... 231 00:08:04,761 --> 00:08:07,030 we're gonna take a lap and think about it. 232 00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:09,032 Oh. Are you sure? 233 00:08:09,032 --> 00:08:11,434 Okay. I know it's a big decision, 234 00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:14,004 I'm just not sure he'll be here when you come to your senses. 235 00:08:14,938 --> 00:08:16,006 Thought you had 'em. 236 00:08:16,006 --> 00:08:16,940 Yeah. 237 00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:18,374 Gotta work on your closing game. 238 00:08:20,777 --> 00:08:21,812 Hey. 239 00:08:21,812 --> 00:08:22,813 Hey guys. What's up? 240 00:08:22,813 --> 00:08:24,047 Unfortunately there's a situation. 241 00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:25,716 There's a tranq dart missing. 242 00:08:25,716 --> 00:08:26,650 Oh my God. 243 00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:28,118 Frank] Yeah, and considering the fact 244 00:08:28,118 --> 00:08:30,821 that we keep the darts in here, we came to see you. 245 00:08:30,821 --> 00:08:33,023 If you're trying to find out who's been in the exam room 246 00:08:33,023 --> 00:08:35,626 can't you just look through the video footage? 247 00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:36,993 What? What? 248 00:08:36,993 --> 00:08:38,795 The bear is a camera. 249 00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:39,830 It is? 250 00:08:39,830 --> 00:08:41,497 Yeah. I have to record everything that happens here 251 00:08:41,497 --> 00:08:43,299 per the State Board of Veterinary Medicine. 252 00:08:43,299 --> 00:08:45,068 Yeah, but a toy bear? 253 00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:46,302 Talk to the City. 254 00:08:46,302 --> 00:08:47,871 I've been trying to get a new camera for over a year now. 255 00:08:47,871 --> 00:08:49,539 It's definitely on my to-do list. 256 00:08:49,539 --> 00:08:51,975 Unfortunately watching any of this footage 257 00:08:51,975 --> 00:08:53,877 is a real can of worms, privacy-wise. 258 00:08:53,877 --> 00:08:56,512 There's First Amendment issues, Third Amendment issues. 259 00:08:56,512 --> 00:08:58,381 Isn't Third Amendment no soldier shall be quartered 260 00:08:58,381 --> 00:08:59,716 in a house during peacetime? 261 00:08:59,716 --> 00:09:00,583 Yeah. 262 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:01,752 Look, it just all goes to privacy. 263 00:09:01,752 --> 00:09:03,053 Am I being overly cautious? Perhaps. 264 00:09:03,053 --> 00:09:04,320 Now, I'm gonna go to the bathroom 265 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,390 and then we'll dive right in and start violating some rights. 266 00:09:08,992 --> 00:09:10,026 There's a video. 267 00:09:10,026 --> 00:09:10,927 What? 268 00:09:10,927 --> 00:09:12,328 Colette's got a teddy bear cam. 269 00:09:12,328 --> 00:09:14,197 So, there's footage of me taking the tranq dart? 270 00:09:14,197 --> 00:09:15,531 Yeah, unless you wore a disguise. 271 00:09:15,531 --> 00:09:16,366 Where are you? 272 00:09:16,366 --> 00:09:17,367 I'm on the toilet. 273 00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:19,569 'Kay. 274 00:09:19,569 --> 00:09:20,871 Look, I'm gonna have to find a way to delete that footage. 275 00:09:20,871 --> 00:09:21,872 Did you get the dart? 276 00:09:21,872 --> 00:09:22,939 Not yet, I've struck out everywhere. 277 00:09:22,939 --> 00:09:24,507 But I have one more card to play. 278 00:09:24,507 --> 00:09:25,441 Bye. 279 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:26,609 We need to get back into sync here. 280 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:27,577 Victoria! 281 00:09:28,712 --> 00:09:30,380 Victoria! 282 00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,615 And if you get to my rank you don't have to do this. 283 00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:36,252 Oh, hello Kiwi. 284 00:09:36,252 --> 00:09:37,854 I'm cashing in my favor. 285 00:09:37,854 --> 00:09:39,022 Really? 286 00:09:39,022 --> 00:09:41,257 Yeah. I need a tranquilizer dart and I need it today. 287 00:09:41,257 --> 00:09:42,592 Yeah, I can't possibly... 288 00:09:42,592 --> 00:09:44,527 Really? You said you'd do anything. 289 00:09:44,527 --> 00:09:46,229 Hey, I'm still trying to figure out what you were doing 290 00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,898 in that Tacoma dinner theater that night. 291 00:09:47,898 --> 00:09:49,399 Yeah, and I still don't know what you were doing 292 00:09:49,399 --> 00:09:50,967 in an amateur production of Hair. 293 00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:53,236 But in exchange for handing over the full-frontal footage, 294 00:09:53,236 --> 00:09:55,806 you gave me a check, and I'm cashing it in. 295 00:09:55,806 --> 00:09:58,374 Alright. I see your little game. I'll play. 296 00:09:58,374 --> 00:09:59,609 I'll see what I can do. 297 00:09:59,609 --> 00:10:00,911 That's what I thought. 298 00:10:02,946 --> 00:10:03,814 You all good? 299 00:10:05,548 --> 00:10:06,582 I see you've met Toby. 300 00:10:06,582 --> 00:10:07,718 He's so friendly. 301 00:10:07,718 --> 00:10:09,652 I know. He's the greatest dog. 302 00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:12,555 Looks like he's border collie and some cattle dog. 303 00:10:12,555 --> 00:10:14,157 Sounds like you really know your dogs. 304 00:10:14,157 --> 00:10:15,125 Yeah, I used to train them 305 00:10:15,125 --> 00:10:17,127 in my Special Ops unit in Afghanistan. 306 00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:18,161 Cool. 307 00:10:18,161 --> 00:10:19,595 Toby seems great. Can we start an application? 308 00:10:19,595 --> 00:10:22,298 Absolutely. Yeah. Just sit right here for me. 309 00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:25,435 I just have a few questions for you. 310 00:10:25,435 --> 00:10:26,636 In case of deployment, 311 00:10:26,636 --> 00:10:28,671 who would be Toby's primary caretaker? 312 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:29,472 My wife. 313 00:10:29,472 --> 00:10:31,007 Your wife. And where is she today? 314 00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:31,908 She's at work. 315 00:10:31,908 --> 00:10:32,843 And work is? 316 00:10:32,843 --> 00:10:34,510 - Real estate. - Real estate. 317 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,611 Mmhmm. 318 00:10:35,611 --> 00:10:36,780 Volatile. 319 00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:40,784 Okay, let's talk alcohol consumption. 320 00:10:40,784 --> 00:10:43,253 How many glasses would you say you have a week? 321 00:10:43,253 --> 00:10:45,655 We'll start with you and then we'll get to your wife. 322 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,525 We're gonna keep looking. Let's go, Otis. 323 00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:50,626 No! 324 00:10:51,294 --> 00:10:53,096 I only had a few questions left. 325 00:10:54,998 --> 00:10:56,833 He clearly has a drinking problem. 326 00:10:58,001 --> 00:11:00,170 Okay. Nothing, nothing, nothing. 327 00:11:00,170 --> 00:11:01,704 There's Kyle the tech wearing headphones, 328 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:02,773 doing a little dance. 329 00:11:02,773 --> 00:11:04,507 That's embarrassing for him. 330 00:11:04,507 --> 00:11:06,176 Nothing. Nothing. 331 00:11:06,176 --> 00:11:09,179 Oh, me coming in for a second. Zipping through that. 332 00:11:09,179 --> 00:11:10,713 Wait, wait. What are you doing? 333 00:11:11,681 --> 00:11:13,649 Oh. I was just getting supplies. 334 00:11:13,649 --> 00:11:14,985 Moving along, that's boring. 335 00:11:14,985 --> 00:11:16,853 Ooh. No, no, no. Frank, stop. 336 00:11:16,853 --> 00:11:18,889 Are you doing formaldehyde curls? 337 00:11:18,889 --> 00:11:21,792 No, I'm just checking the... Yes, I was. 338 00:11:21,792 --> 00:11:23,059 We have a gym on site. 339 00:11:23,059 --> 00:11:25,195 Those are exactly 27 pounds apiece. 340 00:11:25,195 --> 00:11:26,496 It's a very specific workout for vascularity. 341 00:11:26,496 --> 00:11:27,898 Wait. You're not gonna take off your... wow. 342 00:11:27,898 --> 00:11:29,032 Oh... Frank, come on. 343 00:11:29,032 --> 00:11:30,066 You know what? 344 00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:31,467 No. You know what? I was just fast-forwarding. 345 00:11:31,467 --> 00:11:32,702 It's a very warm room. 346 00:11:32,702 --> 00:11:34,737 It's like a hot yoga room practically. 347 00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:36,639 You know, I feel like my rights have been violated. 348 00:11:36,639 --> 00:11:38,208 Okay. I... I'm taking over. 349 00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:40,043 You've lost keyboard privileges. 350 00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:40,977 Yeah. I don't even want it. 351 00:11:40,977 --> 00:11:41,845 Go. 352 00:11:42,312 --> 00:11:45,048 Probably lost exam room privileges as well. 353 00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:46,349 Definitely. 354 00:11:46,349 --> 00:11:48,651 Okay, moving on from that. 355 00:12:10,673 --> 00:12:12,108 What the hell is that? 356 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,348 Oh no! 357 00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,124 Where are you? 358 00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:33,463 There you are. And... delete. 359 00:12:35,031 --> 00:12:37,433 And there I am. 360 00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:38,568 You're a monster, Frank. 361 00:12:38,568 --> 00:12:42,973 A swole, fully jacked... monster. 362 00:12:42,973 --> 00:12:44,407 Save. 363 00:12:48,444 --> 00:12:50,480 We got him cornered. Okay. You go that way. 364 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,882 Ready. Set. 365 00:12:52,748 --> 00:12:53,749 - Go! - Be right back. 366 00:12:54,617 --> 00:12:55,485 Where are you going? 367 00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:57,653 We had the son of a bitch cornered! 368 00:13:01,791 --> 00:13:02,758 Here you are. 369 00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:03,759 A newspaper. 370 00:13:03,759 --> 00:13:05,628 Where did you even get that, a newsie? 371 00:13:05,628 --> 00:13:06,796 Okay, we're square now. Got it? 372 00:13:06,796 --> 00:13:07,830 Yeah. We're square. 373 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,433 What, what, what... shht! What's it for? 374 00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:11,301 None of your... 375 00:13:11,301 --> 00:13:12,835 Shht! You can tell me, you can tell me. 376 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,670 - Please, go now. - You can tell me. 377 00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:15,671 A leopard? 378 00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:16,572 Seriously? 379 00:13:16,572 --> 00:13:18,074 A leopard? A leopard? 380 00:13:22,445 --> 00:13:23,246 Okay. 381 00:13:25,081 --> 00:13:26,449 We did it! 382 00:13:26,449 --> 00:13:27,650 We got the goose! 383 00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:29,152 No. I... I did it. You did nothing. 384 00:13:29,152 --> 00:13:30,620 Now make yourself useful, 385 00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:32,122 take a picture of me with my bounty. 386 00:13:32,122 --> 00:13:33,856 - Here. Look at that. - You got him? 387 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,091 We're like best friends. 388 00:14:06,356 --> 00:14:10,126 Hey. Um... I found something. 389 00:14:10,126 --> 00:14:11,461 It's bad. 390 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,134 I told you it doesn't look good. 391 00:14:18,134 --> 00:14:19,335 No, it doesn't. 392 00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:25,208 Hey, Patel. 393 00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:26,042 Frank! 394 00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:27,877 Can we talk for a sec? 395 00:14:27,877 --> 00:14:30,513 Oh, I'm very popular today. Emily wants to chat too. 396 00:14:30,513 --> 00:14:33,516 There's footage of you covering the camera in the exam room. 397 00:14:35,651 --> 00:14:36,752 Please tell me it stayed covered. 398 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:37,887 It did. 399 00:14:37,887 --> 00:14:39,322 What were you doing in there? 400 00:14:39,322 --> 00:14:41,557 Ah... I can't say it out loud. 401 00:14:49,899 --> 00:14:52,335 I masturbated in the exam room. 402 00:14:52,335 --> 00:14:53,169 What? 403 00:14:53,169 --> 00:14:54,037 Shh! 404 00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:56,672 Uh... please explain. 405 00:14:56,672 --> 00:14:58,274 When someone gets a vasectomy, the chamber, 406 00:14:58,274 --> 00:14:59,875 it has to be cleared no less than 40 times 407 00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:02,612 prior to having unprotected sex. 408 00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:05,181 Now as you know, last night was a very special date night 409 00:15:05,181 --> 00:15:06,349 for me, but I got to work 410 00:15:06,349 --> 00:15:09,185 and I realized I was one shy on my count. 411 00:15:09,185 --> 00:15:11,387 And you have that heightened fertility, right? 412 00:15:11,387 --> 00:15:12,855 Exactly. I couldn't risk it. 413 00:15:12,855 --> 00:15:15,291 So I went to the exam room where I know there are locks 414 00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:16,726 and that's where I... 415 00:15:16,726 --> 00:15:17,427 Okay. 416 00:15:17,427 --> 00:15:18,728 Of course, it was all for naught 417 00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:21,131 'cause Danny stormed in on us last night like the vice squad. 418 00:15:21,131 --> 00:15:22,365 So what am I supposed to do? 419 00:15:22,365 --> 00:15:24,534 Should I just, like... do I need to confess to Emily? 420 00:15:24,534 --> 00:15:25,201 No. 421 00:15:25,201 --> 00:15:26,102 No. 422 00:15:26,102 --> 00:15:27,137 Don't. That's a tough one to spin. 423 00:15:27,137 --> 00:15:28,771 So what, am I gonna get fired? 424 00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:29,639 It's not great. 425 00:15:29,639 --> 00:15:30,973 What, 'cause I love my wife? 426 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,575 No. 427 00:15:32,575 --> 00:15:33,276 You had a wank. 428 00:15:33,276 --> 00:15:33,976 At work. 429 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:34,944 But we won't let that happen. 430 00:15:34,944 --> 00:15:35,778 Nuh-uh. 431 00:15:35,778 --> 00:15:37,247 Why was she even looking at the footage? 432 00:15:37,247 --> 00:15:38,781 Because there's a missing tranq dart. 433 00:15:38,781 --> 00:15:39,915 And she thinks I took it? 434 00:15:39,915 --> 00:15:41,417 But you didn't because we know who did. 435 00:15:41,417 --> 00:15:42,152 Who? 436 00:15:42,152 --> 00:15:43,219 It doesn't matter who took it. 437 00:15:43,219 --> 00:15:44,820 Just know that it was done for the most heroic 438 00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:48,491 and noble reasons and he, or she... 439 00:15:48,491 --> 00:15:51,494 Or they... will go down as legends. 440 00:15:51,494 --> 00:15:52,995 One day the tale will be told. 441 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,431 But for now, I actually think there's a way 442 00:15:55,431 --> 00:15:58,434 that this could work for you and that other party. 443 00:15:58,434 --> 00:15:59,669 Other party... you mean you guys? 444 00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:00,336 No. 445 00:16:00,336 --> 00:16:01,137 It's not us. 446 00:16:01,137 --> 00:16:02,105 Yeah, you guys are the other party. 447 00:16:02,105 --> 00:16:02,505 Nuh-uh. 448 00:16:02,505 --> 00:16:03,173 Nope. 449 00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:03,639 Sounds like you. 450 00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:04,274 No. 451 00:16:04,274 --> 00:16:05,508 It's not. 452 00:16:05,508 --> 00:16:07,443 Well, whoever it is, I'm in. And I know it's you guys. 453 00:16:09,112 --> 00:16:10,480 He's a special guy, isn't he? 454 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:11,581 He really is. 455 00:16:11,581 --> 00:16:13,316 I can't believe nobody wanted him. 456 00:16:13,316 --> 00:16:15,985 Is that really accurate? That no one wanted him? 457 00:16:15,985 --> 00:16:17,019 What do you mean? 458 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,754 I wanna play you something. 459 00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:24,660 Wassup! Wassup! 460 00:16:25,961 --> 00:16:28,131 Did you, like, record the commercial? 461 00:16:28,131 --> 00:16:29,765 Wassup! 462 00:16:29,765 --> 00:16:32,935 No. That's a bird. My bird, Emilio. 463 00:16:32,935 --> 00:16:35,004 He has said that phrase every time 464 00:16:35,004 --> 00:16:37,507 I've walked in the door for the past 16 years. 465 00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:40,643 Wassup! 466 00:16:40,643 --> 00:16:43,113 Emilio was here in the shelter when I was a rookie 467 00:16:43,113 --> 00:16:44,847 and I became attached. 468 00:16:44,847 --> 00:16:46,149 There were some people who wanted him 469 00:16:46,149 --> 00:16:49,452 but I kept finding ways to sabotage it. 470 00:16:49,452 --> 00:16:51,887 So, you think I ruined things for Toby on purpose? 471 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:53,656 I think you have a huge heart, 472 00:16:53,656 --> 00:16:55,658 and you just need some guardrails. 473 00:16:55,658 --> 00:16:58,328 This job will eat you up if you get too invested in the animals. 474 00:16:59,129 --> 00:17:00,630 Wassup! 475 00:17:01,564 --> 00:17:02,665 That's the last one. 476 00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:05,235 Who's this guy? 477 00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:07,036 Careful, he sleep bites. 478 00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:08,704 Shred. 479 00:17:09,172 --> 00:17:12,142 Sorry. Disregard. Do you wanna say hi? 480 00:17:12,142 --> 00:17:12,642 Yeah. 481 00:17:12,642 --> 00:17:14,244 His name's Toby. 482 00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:15,811 Hi Toby. 483 00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:19,482 Would you like to fill out an application? 484 00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:20,015 Yeah. 485 00:17:20,015 --> 00:17:22,051 Yeah, yeah. Thanks. 486 00:17:22,051 --> 00:17:23,719 He's a really good boy. 487 00:17:27,022 --> 00:17:29,159 Patel has something he wants to say. 488 00:17:29,159 --> 00:17:30,393 Go ahead. 489 00:17:31,394 --> 00:17:33,062 I took the tranq from the closet. 490 00:17:33,062 --> 00:17:34,430 Oh, Patel. 491 00:17:34,430 --> 00:17:35,331 Tell her everything, 492 00:17:35,331 --> 00:17:36,932 it's nothing to be embarrassed about. 493 00:17:38,368 --> 00:17:39,835 It was last week. 494 00:17:39,835 --> 00:17:40,936 Victoria was sick, 495 00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,406 and I wish to God it weren't true, but... 496 00:17:43,406 --> 00:17:47,943 I hit the sauce, Emily. Both Arby's and horsey. 497 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,779 I was three beef and cheddars deep 498 00:17:49,779 --> 00:17:53,716 and between all the extra sauces and melted cheese... 499 00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:55,117 I sauced my gun. 500 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:57,353 So, of course, then I took it apart to clean it, 501 00:17:57,353 --> 00:18:00,089 and forgot to put the dart back in. 502 00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:02,592 When I realized my mistake, I ran back to the park 503 00:18:02,592 --> 00:18:04,194 but there's no dart. 504 00:18:04,194 --> 00:18:05,861 So, the dart is still missing? 505 00:18:05,861 --> 00:18:07,597 Or is it? 506 00:18:07,597 --> 00:18:09,432 I heard that story and I followed a hunch. 507 00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:12,435 And as I suspected, it rained on the night of the 23rd. 508 00:18:12,435 --> 00:18:13,736 A real downpour. 509 00:18:13,736 --> 00:18:16,239 Okay. It's Seattle, it's not that unusual. 510 00:18:16,239 --> 00:18:18,274 I sent Victoria back to the scene of the crime 511 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:19,475 where she discovered... 512 00:18:20,743 --> 00:18:21,744 The dart. 513 00:18:22,312 --> 00:18:25,581 Bullseye. Just like in darts. 514 00:18:25,581 --> 00:18:26,782 It was in the storm drain. 515 00:18:26,782 --> 00:18:28,651 Where it had been washed away by the rain. 516 00:18:28,651 --> 00:18:29,619 Case closed. 517 00:18:29,619 --> 00:18:33,423 Emily, your witness. So... case reopened. 518 00:18:33,423 --> 00:18:34,424 Yeah. 519 00:18:35,591 --> 00:18:37,327 Okay. 520 00:18:37,327 --> 00:18:40,230 Well, the dart is back so the inventory will be reconciled 521 00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:43,466 and I guess that is the most important thing. 522 00:18:43,466 --> 00:18:45,335 Yeah! A real happy ending. 523 00:18:45,335 --> 00:18:46,636 I'm so sorry. 524 00:18:46,636 --> 00:18:48,238 Yeah, I appreciate that. 525 00:18:48,238 --> 00:18:52,608 But I am still obligated to take disciplinary action. 526 00:18:52,608 --> 00:18:55,478 So you are suspended for a week. 527 00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:58,581 Well, that's harsh. 528 00:18:59,649 --> 00:19:01,351 Didn't see that coming. 529 00:19:01,584 --> 00:19:02,785 I'm sorry, buddy. 530 00:19:02,785 --> 00:19:04,854 But as your union representative, 531 00:19:04,854 --> 00:19:06,622 I think the collective bargaining agreement 532 00:19:06,622 --> 00:19:08,190 is pretty clear. 533 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,493 That suspension's with pay, correct? 534 00:19:10,493 --> 00:19:11,527 That is correct. 535 00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:15,265 He just is not allowed to come into work at all. 536 00:19:15,265 --> 00:19:18,100 Not even to catch up on paperwork? 537 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:19,335 Okay, we're done here. 538 00:19:20,703 --> 00:19:21,837 Okay. 539 00:19:38,721 --> 00:19:39,522 Rough day? 540 00:19:39,522 --> 00:19:40,990 Very rough day. 541 00:19:41,724 --> 00:19:44,327 Did I ever tell you about my amazing air vent? 542 00:19:44,327 --> 00:19:45,395 I don't think so. 543 00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:46,362 No? 544 00:19:49,332 --> 00:19:51,367 Just to sterilize dog bites obviously. 545 00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:53,035 That was here the whole time? 546 00:19:54,504 --> 00:19:57,740 Thank you, uh, by the way for today. 547 00:19:57,740 --> 00:20:00,876 You were like a superhero out there. 548 00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:03,078 You got, like, eight dogs adopted. 549 00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:05,147 Yeah. Sometimes I miss this job. 550 00:20:05,147 --> 00:20:06,081 I mean, don't get me wrong, 551 00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,850 I also like being independently wealthy. 552 00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:09,752 But I love the camaraderie. 553 00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:13,656 So... 554 00:20:15,024 --> 00:20:17,026 Did you get your situation resolved? 555 00:20:17,026 --> 00:20:18,528 You still look a little haunted. 556 00:20:18,528 --> 00:20:19,595 Can I ask you a question? 557 00:20:19,595 --> 00:20:20,563 Sure. 558 00:20:20,563 --> 00:20:21,664 What do you do when you're pretty sure 559 00:20:21,664 --> 00:20:22,898 a couple of your employees 560 00:20:22,898 --> 00:20:24,534 are feeding you a complete load of bull, 561 00:20:24,534 --> 00:20:26,101 but you're scared to call them on it, 562 00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:27,236 'cause if you do 563 00:20:27,236 --> 00:20:29,238 they could actually get in pretty serious trouble? 564 00:20:29,238 --> 00:20:31,006 Well this seems very hypothetical. 565 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:33,042 Yeah. 566 00:20:33,042 --> 00:20:34,209 It's not always black and white, 567 00:20:34,209 --> 00:20:36,278 sometimes what's technically the right thing to do 568 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,748 isn't what's best for the precinct. 569 00:20:38,748 --> 00:20:39,715 It's a tough one. 570 00:20:39,715 --> 00:20:41,016 Yeah. 571 00:20:41,016 --> 00:20:43,353 And it's not like I can talk to anyone on the staff about it. 572 00:20:43,353 --> 00:20:44,387 No. 573 00:20:46,356 --> 00:20:49,224 It's kinda lonely being the boss. 574 00:20:50,426 --> 00:20:51,627 I know exactly how you're feeling. 575 00:20:51,627 --> 00:20:54,730 Yeah, it seems like you do. Like, a lot. 576 00:20:59,201 --> 00:21:01,203 Wassup? 577 00:21:01,203 --> 00:21:02,938 Remember? 'Cause your bird. 578 00:21:02,938 --> 00:21:04,073 I remember. 579 00:21:04,073 --> 00:21:06,776 Yeah. Anyway, I found Toby a home. 580 00:21:06,776 --> 00:21:07,643 He's about to leave. 581 00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:09,979 Do you guys wanna come say goodbye? 582 00:21:09,979 --> 00:21:11,113 Yeah, yeah. 583 00:21:11,113 --> 00:21:12,047 Totally. 584 00:21:12,047 --> 00:21:13,315 Yes. 585 00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:16,419 The family's a little sketchy but I'm learning to let go. 586 00:21:17,887 --> 00:21:21,391 ♪ Let the midnight special 587 00:21:21,391 --> 00:21:25,127 ♪ shine the light on me. 588 00:21:25,127 --> 00:21:28,431 ♪ Let the midnight special 589 00:21:28,431 --> 00:21:31,801 ♪ shine the ever-loving light on me. ♪ 590 00:21:31,801 --> 00:21:33,002 Go Amit. 591 00:21:33,002 --> 00:21:35,004 Baby, block out your calendar for the next seven minutes, 592 00:21:35,004 --> 00:21:37,740 'cause there's a storm coming Ahhh! 593 00:21:43,312 --> 00:21:44,414 The new comedy, "Animal Control"