1 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,222 [festive music] 2 00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,528 - Ho, ho, ho-llo. 3 00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,399 It's Christmas Eve at Saint Denis, 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,272 and even in a hospital, it's the best time of year. 5 00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:14,013 Ooh, there's Santa! 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,145 Or, um, Mr. Holiday Man, 7 00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:18,539 as we tell the non-denominational patients. 8 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,497 Are you here to spread some Christmas cheer? 9 00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,369 - No, I'm just waiting for a room. 10 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,501 - Oh, are you--are you OK? 11 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,329 - Maybe I could just tell a doctor. 12 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:27,591 - Well, maybe I am a doctor. 13 00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:30,072 - I'd rather just tell a male doctor. 14 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,073 [Joyce scoffs] 15 00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,248 - Are you OK, Santa? 16 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:35,512 - [babbles] Santa's fine. Ho, ho. 17 00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:39,169 Just a little problem with, uh, the North Pole. 18 00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,998 - OK, everybody, let's go back to our seats. 19 00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,652 Don't look back at Santa. 20 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:45,740 Don't look at him. 21 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:46,784 Don't look back at him. 22 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:47,872 Don't look back at Santa. 23 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:50,092 - Oh, [bleep]. 24 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:53,226 [upbeat music] 25 00:00:53,227 --> 00:01:00,408 ♪ 26 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:06,456 - [laughs] All right. - Watch out. 27 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,892 - I get it. [laughter] 28 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:10,199 - Wow, the whole family's here. 29 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,722 [all chuckle] What have we got? 30 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,115 - Well, Mr. Klein came in with some hip pain. 31 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,203 - Ah, ah. 32 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,336 - Sorry, Bob has hip pain. 33 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,902 We had a little back and forth about that earlier. 34 00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,166 - And I asked her if I could call her sweetheart, 35 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,384 but not in a gross way. 36 00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,169 - And weirdly, I was fine with that. 37 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,301 - You are a braver man than I am, Bob. 38 00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,868 How did you hurt the hip? 39 00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:28,217 - Pole vaulting. 40 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:30,263 No, come on, doc. I'm ancient. 41 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:32,874 The wind hit me weird and I tripped over myself. 42 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:35,703 Like--like this guy seeing a bikini at the beach. 43 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:37,618 [Alex and Ron chuckle] He clocked you, buddy. 44 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,054 - I've never been to the beach. 45 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:40,099 - How's your health otherwise? 46 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,752 - Strong as an ox. 47 00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,276 - Dad. 48 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:46,105 He's had leukemia for about 16 months. 49 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,411 - Strong as an ox with blood cancer. 50 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,457 - An ox will work right up until it dies. 51 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,373 - OK, well, we are going to leave you guys to it, 52 00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,114 and I'll be back to start some tests, all right? 53 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,680 - Looking forward to it, sweetheart. 54 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,117 [Alex giggles] 55 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,944 - See, I don't mind that. Is that weird? 56 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,121 Well, we're not supposed to have favorite patients, 57 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,426 but we do. [chuckles] 58 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,297 - I almost don't want him to get better. 59 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:05,602 [Alex chuckles] 60 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,952 The rest of my patients today are duds. 61 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,824 [laughter] 62 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:10,999 - Oh, I love this one. 63 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,261 - [imitates klaxon] Pornography alert. 64 00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:13,567 [Joyce laughs] 65 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,177 No, I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. 66 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,614 I know you're not watching pornography in a group setting. 67 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,226 I just couldn't think of anything else to say. 68 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,444 It's not pornography, is it? 69 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,229 - It's just NurseTok, Joyce. 70 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,796 Videos from hospitals, nurses, doctors. 71 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:28,103 - Portland General, bleh. 72 00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:30,932 Oh, four million views. That's... 73 00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,368 eight million eyeballs. 74 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,761 - Some people don't have two eyes. 75 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,893 - So more like 7 1/2 million eyeballs? 76 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:39,027 - OK, that seems low, Holly. That seems really low. 77 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,551 Social media is here to stay. 78 00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:43,423 I've always believed that. 79 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:46,295 That's why I run an Instagram account for Saint Denis. 80 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:49,994 "To those who celebrate, Happy Halloween." 81 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:54,216 But for Portland General to generate that level of traffic, 82 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,479 I mean, a bigger presence means more patients, 83 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,613 more clout, more dollars. 84 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,877 Right now, we only have 142 followers. 85 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,531 Oh, 141 followers. 86 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,010 Sanderson unfollowed. 87 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:09,840 I called his travel charcuterie board a Lunchable. 88 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,146 He'll be back. 89 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,104 - So I was gonna propose to my girlfriend. 90 00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,149 - Aw. 91 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,672 - And I decided 92 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:18,675 to take the engagement ring and put it around my penis. 93 00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,155 - Right. 94 00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,330 OK. 95 00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,245 - But the ring is actually pretty big. 96 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:25,247 - Yeah, it's much bigger than anything you're imagining. 97 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,988 - My fingers are huge. 98 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,294 He calls me carrot fingers. 99 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,688 - Yeah, anyway, so the ring is on my penis, 100 00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,951 and I start thinking about our life together, 101 00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,344 and I get aroused. 102 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,346 - It's actually really romantic. 103 00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,392 - The blood is trapped, and the ring is very, 104 00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:42,264 very tight, so just be prepared. 105 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,526 - I've been here a while now, 106 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,529 so pretty much everything's routine to me. 107 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,445 OK, right. 108 00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:50,620 I see the ring you're talking about, 109 00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:53,144 right there in the middle. 110 00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:55,799 Dr. Schweitz, could you jump in here really quick? 111 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,323 - Sure. 112 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,324 All right, what seems to be the problem? 113 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,195 Oh, my God! 114 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,849 [gasps] It looks like a penis. 115 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,285 Is that your penis? - Yeah. 116 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,895 - Who did that to you? 117 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,070 Did you do this to him? 118 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,550 - No, man! 119 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,900 - Bob, you have such a loving family. 120 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:12,120 It must be so nice to have them all come together like that. 121 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,382 - I'm a lucky guy. 122 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:15,906 - No. It's work, you know. 123 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:18,213 You put in the work and it's paying off. 124 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,649 I admire you. - Thank you. 125 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,303 - Mm-hmm. - How about you guys? 126 00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,174 You got any travel plans for the holidays? 127 00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:24,741 - Oh, no, I just have, you know, 128 00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,221 dinner with the whole family. 129 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,267 Although I would like to put Tim's parents on a plane, 130 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,573 if you know what I mean. [chuckles] 131 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:33,837 Uh, because they have never been to the Caribbean, 132 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,275 and I would love to give that to them, so. 133 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,667 Uh, Ron's going to Texas. 134 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,190 - Actually, I'm staying home. 135 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,409 Got a bottle of Laphroaig 136 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,759 and a box of Christmas Crunch cereal, 137 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,589 so me and the captain about to partake. 138 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,766 It's--[sighs] 139 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,334 You're making it feel sad. It's not sad. 140 00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,683 My kids are grown now. 141 00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,468 It's not like they're gonna be running around 142 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:58,340 the Christmas tree screaming over presents. 143 00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,081 Presents. 144 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:02,344 I gotta get on that. 145 00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,780 - Oh, OK. 146 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:06,174 Why don't we do that thing where everybody dances 147 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:08,829 and lip syncs to a song like, "So You Had a Bad Day," 148 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,526 but we make it about a good day? 149 00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:12,615 - [scoffs] A little first thought, right? 150 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,182 - Uh-huh. Yeah, that was dumb. 151 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,662 - Just reads as 2016. 152 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:18,229 - Maybe even earlier, 2015. 153 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,449 I asked Serena to help me pump up 154 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,799 Saint Denis's social media presence, 155 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,584 and she jumped at the chance. 156 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,021 She said she couldn't let me do it alone. 157 00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:29,197 - The best thing about our social media presence 158 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,633 is that it barely exists. 159 00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,679 But if Joyce is gonna start posting more 160 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,769 and then tagging me, asking me to repost, 161 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,727 I cannot let her do this alone. 162 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:42,342 - Or what if we do that thing where everybody freezes? 163 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,909 We freeze, 164 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:49,173 and then the camera pans around us like we're mannequins. 165 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,132 No? Little first thought? 166 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,656 - But where's Mrs. Claus in this twisted universe of yours? 167 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:54,875 - We didn't really think 168 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,267 about-- - Oh, you didn't think? 169 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,226 She's only given thousands of years to this man, 170 00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,401 but you didn't think. OK. 171 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,881 - Our ring cutter's broken, 172 00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,099 but the hospital has access to the fire department's. 173 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,231 - Oh, thank God. 174 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,754 I was legitimately worried for you. 175 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:07,017 [Bruce chuckles] - But that one's also broken. 176 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,932 But there is a fire department 80 miles away. 177 00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,064 - There you go. 178 00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:11,544 - But they're buried in a snowstorm. 179 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:14,198 - Oh, God. - Hey, it's OK. 180 00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:16,244 I'm not worried. 181 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,115 - Hey. - Hey. 182 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:21,205 - So I thought you were flying down to Texas. 183 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,511 Something happen? 184 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:25,296 - No, what I said was my family is going, 185 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:26,733 which includes my ex-wife. 186 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,430 Now, we really can't be in the same county 187 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,649 at the same time. 188 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:30,911 - Are you sure you're gonna be OK? 189 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,869 - Are you serious? 190 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,829 I get time to relax, watch Christmas TV, 191 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,047 "Die Hard," 192 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,832 and that channel with a burning log. 193 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,311 - [chuckles] 194 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,226 - I can switch back and forth as many times as I want. 195 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:45,360 "Die Hard," log. "Die Hard," log. 196 00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:48,450 - Hang on. Ron, this can't be right. 197 00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,104 Bob's lab results. - Let's see. 198 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,323 - Look at the blood work. 199 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,455 - Bob? - Wait, I saw it first. 200 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,587 Let me tell him. - I'm the doctor. 201 00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,284 I have good news-- - Your cancer's gone 202 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:57,895 I'm sorry. Whoo! 203 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:00,984 - You're in shock, 204 00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:03,465 but you have a clean bill of health. 205 00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:05,249 - It's a Christmas miracle. Yay! 206 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,992 - What are the rules about doctor-patient confidentiality? 207 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,952 Like, are you allowed to tell my family about this? 208 00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:15,085 - No, not without your permission. 209 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,522 - Great. 210 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,567 I don't give my permission. 211 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,483 And I've never had cancer. 212 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,531 - Wait, you've never had cancer? 213 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,402 - Not yet. 214 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:30,710 - So you've just been lying to your family this entire time? 215 00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:33,364 - Look, when your kids grow up, they start to forget about you, 216 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,236 and that doesn't feel so good. 217 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,107 I mean, I didn't feel good about all of this, 218 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:39,675 but now my family visits me all the time, 219 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,548 and our relationship is better than it's ever been. 220 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:45,028 - This is the worst thing I have ever seen on the job, 221 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,813 and I just helped a man 222 00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:49,729 who had maggots coming out of sores on his feet, OK? 223 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:50,904 You're worse than that! 224 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,427 - Well, listen, 225 00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:55,474 I'm not gonna tell my family the truth, and you can't. 226 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,998 I'd hate to slap you with a HIPAA violation. 227 00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,956 - [softly] Oh, my God. - My babies! 228 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:01,567 Hi, give Daddy a hug. 229 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,743 - I'm coming, Dad. - Get over here. 230 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,309 Great to see you. 231 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,573 - The doctors you meet at Saint Denis. 232 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:08,835 Orthopedics. 233 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:09,923 [deep voice] What up, bro? 234 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,185 I like fixing knees 235 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,492 and carving tight lines in powder. 236 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,450 [as self] That's, uh, snowboarding, not drugs. 237 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,060 Cardiologist. 238 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,106 [nasally voice] Hey, I don't know much about snowboarding. 239 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,411 - Less about snowboarding. 240 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:21,761 - OK, Serena, now you're just getting in my head. 241 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,110 Let me explore. 242 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,460 [silly voice] Uh, I'm a GI doctor. 243 00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:27,244 And I think I'm God's gift to women. 244 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,637 I'm gonna take you out to dinner, 245 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,639 and I'm gonna tell you I had an amazing time 246 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,119 and then never call you back 247 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,773 and then be weird to you at work for the next 15 years. 248 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:36,166 And then one day I'm just gonna show up married. 249 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,907 What is that? 250 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,126 [as self] What is that? 251 00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,128 - Did you and Dr. Sullivan date? 252 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,782 - [scoffs] Serena... 253 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:45,959 I'm talking about gastroenterologists in general. 254 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,700 [laughing] OK? 255 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,484 - This guy would rather lie to his family 256 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:50,964 than actually earn their love? 257 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,879 It's sick. - It is, but-- 258 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,620 - Oh, come on. There's a but? 259 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,187 - Well, your kids are still in the magic years, 260 00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,493 but eventually, they get older, 261 00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:00,060 and they tend to lose interest in you. 262 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,671 - And the way to get their attention is by faking cancer? 263 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,586 Come on. - Well, I'm not defending him. 264 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,936 I'm just saying there's two sides to every story. 265 00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:09,678 - I get that nurturing closeness with family is hard. 266 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,027 OK, it takes effort. 267 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,768 I work all day, I go home, I'm exhausted, 268 00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,249 and I still find time to talk about "Minecraft," OK? 269 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:18,513 So maybe if your family isn't close, that's on you! 270 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,733 - Or maybe your kids moved to Austin for the food scene 271 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:21,951 and it's no one's fault. 272 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,257 - Ron, no I-- 273 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,650 come--I didn't mean you. 274 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:27,174 I'm talking about-- like he, he's taking, 275 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:29,002 like, a sick shortcut to love. 276 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,525 - I get it, but it doesn't matter. 277 00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,179 We're not gonna tell the family. 278 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,050 It's not our job to cure being a jerk. 279 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,227 We're just gonna let it go. 280 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,359 - Fine. 281 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,839 - Medicine isn't just science. 282 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,188 Sometimes it's like jazz. 283 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,189 - It's scary. 284 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,364 - What? No, that's not-- 285 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,061 I mean you gotta improvise, right? 286 00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:47,237 So let's get creative now. 287 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,499 - Drain it with a big needle. 288 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,588 - Juice it like a raisin, maybe. 289 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,850 - Oh, my God. 290 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,373 - Or we flatten it with some kind of vice. 291 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,940 - Stretch it out, roll it thin. 292 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,115 - Yes. [Santa groans] 293 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,420 - Maybe you could 294 00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:59,032 get the ring burning hot so the metal expands. 295 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,555 - Honey! Jesus! 296 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:01,643 - Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. I like it. 297 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,558 It could scorch the penis, though. 298 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,038 - Can't we just wait for the ring cutter to get here? 299 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,387 - Well, it might not come. 300 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:07,910 And if we wait, your penis could turn septic. 301 00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:08,998 The infection could kill you. 302 00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:11,218 [Santa groans] Hey, don't worry. 303 00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:12,654 We'd amputate before it came to that. 304 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,743 - I definitely do not want that. 305 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,876 - OK, I will note that on your chart. 306 00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:20,140 - Yeah, but Dad, we got Italian for you last night, 307 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,316 and David's gluten-free. - Oh. 308 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:25,319 David, you know, that diet is totally unnecessary. 309 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,147 Just take the stairs or something. 310 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,931 - I have celiac disease. 311 00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:31,064 - Oh, I keep forgetting, you know, 312 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:35,068 maybe because it's not as dire as, you know, what I have. 313 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:37,374 - He called me sweetheart. 314 00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,594 And I liked it. 315 00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:40,856 - OK, rapid fire. 316 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:42,510 Wildest stories from the ER. 317 00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,904 - I drained an abscess that smelled so bad I threw up. 318 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,383 - Uh-oh, yuck alert. 319 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,646 - Joyce, don't comment on things. 320 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,212 - Then we'll put in a siren sound effect. 321 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,692 Dance floor, not cop car. 322 00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:52,694 - When a leg breaks completely backwards, 323 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,044 like a busted-up crab, we call them crabbies. 324 00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,698 - What? These are human beings. 325 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,221 - Joyce, stop commenting. 326 00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,006 - Dr. Andrews, come dish on some wild stuff. 327 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:03,313 - Oh, uh, a couple coming back from their honeymoon... 328 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,228 - Mm, uh-oh. 329 00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,578 - They got T-boned by a transport truck, 330 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,102 rushed in, both circling the drain. 331 00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:10,625 - OK, that's enough. 332 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,192 - They're both begging me to save the other one's life. 333 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:15,978 My wife asked me why I've got such a short fuse at home. 334 00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,284 [rasping] Well, I'll tell you why. 335 00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:19,242 - Bill, you know we're trying to have fun here. 336 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,722 I know you can see that. 337 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:21,897 Not cool. 338 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,116 - Oh. 339 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,073 [Joyce playfully slaps cameraman] 340 00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:26,294 [indistinct chatter] 341 00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,600 - Oh, I'm--I'm sorry. 342 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:32,734 I should have offered to share half of that with you. 343 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,431 Do you want to split the chocolate? 344 00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,129 - First, I'm more of a vanilla guy. 345 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,174 And second... 346 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:40,481 why are you doing this? 347 00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:43,136 You have to realize how messed up this is. 348 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,225 - [sighs] Listen, I know. 349 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:48,097 It's--it's crazy. 350 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,446 Did you say you were divorced? 351 00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,274 - We're talking about you. 352 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:56,366 - Well, my wife was the glue of my family. 353 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,412 I mean, she planned all the family trips, 354 00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:02,068 she made all the holidays special for us. 355 00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:04,244 And when she passed away, my-- 356 00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:06,246 my kids and I, we just-- 357 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,770 we didn't know how to be around each other. 358 00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:11,642 And the kids just kind of drifted away. 359 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:14,167 You have any idea what that's like? 360 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,473 - I guess my kids are a little distant. 361 00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:17,779 Now that they've moved away, 362 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,434 it's easier to let the days get away from you. 363 00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,305 The glue does fade. 364 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,785 So I get it. 365 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:26,527 Oh, and I do like the chocolate side of the cookie. 366 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,878 I don't know why I lied about that. 367 00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:31,488 - Oh, my God. 368 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,273 - It's fine, it's fine. I'm a pro. 369 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:34,361 Thank you. 370 00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:35,928 [metallic clanking] Jesus. 371 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:38,017 Oh, I'm sorry, just a little bigger than I was expecting, 372 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,801 but not a problem. 373 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,020 OK, let's do this. 374 00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,108 [Santa exhales deeply] 375 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,892 - [whispering] It's OK, it's OK. 376 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,502 [exhales deeply] 377 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,853 - Be gentle. - Obviously, yeah. 378 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:50,290 - OK, here's a day in the life of the ER. 379 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:51,334 [Joyce chuckles] 380 00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,206 Oh, my God! What is that? 381 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,949 - Jesus, Joyce, I almost cut this guy's [bleep] off! 382 00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,298 God damn it. 383 00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,474 - Hey, Serena. 384 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,477 - Yeah, it's pretty good for a first try. 385 00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:04,521 - This was our 12th. 386 00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:05,914 [Serena sighs] 387 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,916 It'd be way easier if I was doing this with you. 388 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,831 I could just boss you around. 389 00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,267 - What? 390 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:12,878 I mean, I would support you, obviously. 391 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,357 - Want to trade? 392 00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,751 You film with Joyce, and I'll take the penis thing. 393 00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,709 - Nope. I'm emotionally invested. 394 00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,494 It's all of our penis now. 395 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,191 - [laughs] 396 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,714 Yeah. 397 00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:25,499 - Oh, what? Now you're on his side? 398 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,502 - No. His wife died. 399 00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:31,070 And sometimes when you feel your family drifting apart, 400 00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:33,115 people do crazy things to keep them together. 401 00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,203 - OK. - Trust me. 402 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:35,857 - I wouldn't fake cancer, though. 403 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,163 - Well, maybe you don't love your family 404 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,599 as much as other people do. 405 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,861 - [scoffs] 406 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,689 - And dad's mad that I forgot his tiramisu. 407 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,864 - Solid priorities. 408 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,866 - Your dad's lucky to have you. 409 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,215 You're a good daughter. 410 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,477 - I'm glad to make him comfortable. 411 00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,566 - Still, can't be easy, though, right? 412 00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,568 - No. Kind of have to put your whole life on hold. 413 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:52,874 - Mm. 414 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,050 - But the time you spend together is a gift. 415 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,225 - Yeah, a gift that comes with work, 416 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,487 like a mop with a bow on it. [chuckles] 417 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,620 - Still, I'm sure your mom would be happy 418 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,796 knowing that you're all together on Christmas. 419 00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:03,189 - She hates that we're here. 420 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,843 - No, how do you know that? 421 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,062 - She's texted me all day about it. 422 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,890 - Not from heaven, I'm assuming. 423 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,892 - Uh, no, from San Diego, 424 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,241 where she lives with a new husband 425 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,243 who doesn't cheat on her with my golf coach. 426 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:16,767 But what can I do? He's sick. - Mm. 427 00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:19,509 - Yes, he is a very sick man. 428 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,903 - Mm-hmm. - OK, thanks. 429 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,383 - Bob's a liar. 430 00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,775 - We knew that all along. 431 00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:25,994 - Yeah, well, this time he lied to me. 432 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,953 It's one thing you do that with your family, 433 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,738 but I'm an innocent bystander here. 434 00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,522 - So rigged a little mock-up here. 435 00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:35,134 Fake patient, hot dog, washer. 436 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,526 Sometimes you gotta practice, 437 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,093 rehearse the thing until you got it down cold. 438 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,486 - Like jazz. - What? No. God. 439 00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,792 Just hold the light on it, all right? 440 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,098 [sighs] 441 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,404 This would be a lot better with a cadaver, 442 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,885 but the morgue guy was pretty huffy about it. 443 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,408 - Yeah, really shaken up by the request. 444 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,584 - All right, here we go. [clears throat] 445 00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,326 [whispering] Come on. Come on. Come on. 446 00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:58,374 Yeah, all right! [laughs] 447 00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,810 - Should we go for two in a row? 448 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,769 - [sighs] 449 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,640 Hmm. 450 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:06,339 Yeah, not a great ratio. 451 00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,819 - Welcome to our pediatrics department, 452 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:12,823 where beautiful, heartwarming things are always happening. 453 00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:14,956 - Joyce, we need something punchy, viral. 454 00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,088 This is too soft. 455 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,828 - He has a widdle bear. 456 00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,308 Oh, come on. 457 00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,831 Hi, there. 458 00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,485 Who's this little friend? 459 00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:24,618 - I ate the pebbles in my fish tank. 460 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:27,229 - Oh. But does your bear have a name? 461 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,492 - I can't leave until all the pebbles come out. 462 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,842 - You're killing me, kid. This is so boring. 463 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:35,324 [laughter] 464 00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:36,456 What happened? 465 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,066 - We turned on his cochlear implant. 466 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,460 - He just heard my voice for the first time. 467 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,678 - [bleep]. 468 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,506 Damn it! 469 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,813 Sorry, sorry. That pebble kid just-- 470 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:49,338 Little boy hearing his mama's voice for the first time. 471 00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,775 Would have been nice to capture that, but did we? 472 00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:53,038 - No. 473 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,604 - You were supposed to support me today. 474 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,476 And all you've done is roll the eyes. 475 00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:58,043 - Ugh. - Ah! Just like that. 476 00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,435 - I mean, every instinct you have 477 00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,350 is, like, impressively the opposite 478 00:16:01,351 --> 00:16:03,831 of what the internet likes. 479 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,006 - I got it! I've got the solution. 480 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,052 - Thinks he has a solution. 481 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,967 [Bruce sighs] 482 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,011 - Hmm? 483 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,534 Yes, it seems crazy. 484 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,232 But you know who else looked crazy? 485 00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:17,236 A lot of famous people who did some good stuff. 486 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:19,281 I'm at the forefront of my field, obviously. 487 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,630 I'm a master with the scalpel, 488 00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:23,024 but I'm also the master of another blade. 489 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,026 Katana, or katana, 490 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,549 is a weapon and a practice 491 00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:29,291 that has captured the imagination of the world, 492 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,946 mostly guys, for centuries. 493 00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:33,382 I'm also pretty handy with a crossbow, 494 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,819 but that wouldn't help here. [chuckles] 495 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,560 Unless-- 496 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:38,735 ooh. 497 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:39,910 No. 498 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,217 - A sword? Are you insane? 499 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,610 - You're thinking chop. Mm-mm. 500 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:45,655 It'll be more of a delicate slice. 501 00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,048 - No, you're crazy! 502 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,484 - Oh, come on. 503 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,097 Do you know how many famous people did crazy things? 504 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,013 [Bruce sighs] 505 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,799 - I bet deep down inside, he feels guilty. 506 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,279 - Well, hopefully that guilt 507 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,541 will at least lead to a painful ulcer or something. 508 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:02,629 - Hey, do you guys know where I can talk 509 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,065 to someone about billing? 510 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,024 - Yeah, down the hall, left-hand side. 511 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,896 You're not paying for him, right? 512 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,072 - No, dad's insurance should cover most of it. 513 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,336 And then we'll use the GoFundMe on the rest. 514 00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:16,947 - He's got a GoFundMe? 515 00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:18,210 This guy. 516 00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,689 - Hey, Bob? 517 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:23,563 Quick chat before we send you dancing out of here. 518 00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:26,000 - We need to talk other options. 519 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,045 - What options? 520 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,394 - Well, you're not gonna love them. 521 00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,091 - Dr. Bruce, wait! 522 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,179 We have a ring cutter. You can stop the amputation. 523 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,441 - [laughing] Oh, my God. 524 00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:33,834 - Wait, that was on the table? 525 00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,227 - [scoffing] Yeah. 526 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,706 I mean, I said you weren't gonna love the options. 527 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,230 It's a Christmas miracle. 528 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,014 - Actually, while Bruce was sharpening his sword-- 529 00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,276 - Honing his blade. 530 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,756 - I checked in again with the fire department 531 00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,192 and convinced one of the firefighters 532 00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,411 to brave the storm by himself. 533 00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:46,455 The guy's a hero. 534 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:47,500 - Yeah, Christmas miracle. 535 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:48,762 And it just goes to show 536 00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,024 that most guys will go above and beyond 537 00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:51,939 when their penis or another man's penis 538 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,593 is on the line. - Yeah. 539 00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:56,204 - Can we get Bob's family in here, please? 540 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,946 [indistinct chatter] 541 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:01,427 So Bob has something he wants to tell you, 542 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,950 and it's something he really needs 543 00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:05,692 to get off of his chest, so... 544 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:09,087 Yeah, we threatened to report him for GoFundMe fraud. 545 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,786 - I don't have cancer. 546 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,701 - Wait, are-- are you saying that-- 547 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,616 - I'm cancer-free. - No. 548 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,618 - Daddy's cured. - Come on. No. 549 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:20,185 - I can't believe it! - It's a miracle. 550 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,448 - Bob? Bob? Bob? 551 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,754 No. No, Bob. 552 00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,408 - Oh. Dr. Ron is right. 553 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,018 There's more. 554 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,804 I want to return the GoFundMe money. 555 00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:32,414 I already spent a little bit of it, 556 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:35,983 but I think I can make a few bets and make that part back. 557 00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:37,593 - OK, everyone, here is what's going on. 558 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,813 - And--and no more special treatment. 559 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:42,207 I want you all to live your own lives. 560 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:45,079 And I'm gonna put in the effort on my part. 561 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:49,736 Because the truth is-- the truth is that 562 00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,869 I kind of like being around you guys. 563 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:55,350 - Dad, I'm so relieved. - [laughs] 564 00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,178 - Oh, Dad! 565 00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,006 - No, no. I'm sorry. 566 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,181 No, they-- 567 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,617 - I'm--I'm sorry. We--we have to leave. 568 00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:03,097 - Oh, no, you gotta celebrate with us. 569 00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,229 - Yeah. 570 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,317 - Well, this is kind of a busy time 571 00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,666 around here for us. 572 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,450 Listen, take care of each other. 573 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,931 And, Bob, do not waste this gift. 574 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,193 - I won't. 575 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,543 - Let's go. 576 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,719 - Everybody hug your grandpa. - Bring it in, everybody. 577 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,504 Grandpa's OK. - Oh, my God. 578 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,201 - Music! 579 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,550 [Jackie Wilson's "Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher"] 580 00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,378 - ♪ Your love 581 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,294 ♪ Lifting me higher 582 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:29,776 ♪ Than I've ever been lifted before ♪ 583 00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:30,864 - Things were tense. 584 00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:32,648 We were creatively blocked. 585 00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:35,390 But then Serena said that a lip sync 586 00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:39,264 could have kind of an ironic, normie cringe kind of vibe. 587 00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,570 [laughing] What do words even mean anymore? 588 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:42,876 - ♪ You know your love 589 00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:43,877 - ♪ Your love keeps lifting me ♪ 590 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:45,792 - ♪ Keep on lifting 591 00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:48,142 - I realized I was fighting with my boss, 592 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:50,710 so I thought it might be smart just to go with Joyce's idea. 593 00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,233 - ♪ I said your love 594 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,713 - ♪ Your love keeps lifting me ♪ 595 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,236 - ♪ Keep on 596 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,803 - ♪ Your love keeps lifting me ♪ 597 00:19:56,804 --> 00:20:00,546 - ♪ Lifting me higher and higher ♪ 598 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,722 - ♪ Higher - ♪ You know your love 599 00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,027 - ♪ Your love keeps lifting me ♪ 600 00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:04,985 - ♪ Keep on lifting me 601 00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:06,378 - That was kind of fun. 602 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:08,423 It's Christmas, so... 603 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,468 Merry Christmas, Joyce. 604 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:10,947 - ♪ Higher and higher 605 00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,123 - ♪ Higher - ♪ I said your love 606 00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,299 [Santa gasps] 607 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,474 ♪ Keep on 608 00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,084 - ♪ Your love keep lifting me ♪ 609 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,738 - ♪ Lifting me - ♪ Lifting me 610 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:21,480 [Elf laughs] - ♪ Higher and higher 611 00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,872 ♪ I said your love 612 00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:23,960 - ♪ Your love keeps lifting me ♪ 613 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,875 - ♪ Keep on 614 00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:27,268 - ♪ Your love keeps lifting me ♪ 615 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:30,967 - ♪ Lifting me higher and higher ♪ 616 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:31,968 - ♪ Higher 617 00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,622 - ♪ All right 618 00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:36,582 [upbeat soul music] 619 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:39,759 - Yes, I should have flown there. 620 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,675 Well, maybe I can visit soon. 621 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,242 What's that? 622 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,765 No, I'm not dying. 623 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,723 Funny you should ask, but-- 624 00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:49,812 OK, look, I gotta go. 625 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,292 Love you, bud. 626 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,294 - Hey, how's Michael? 627 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,426 - Good. 628 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,557 Glad I called. 629 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,124 - Good. 630 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,430 All right, I'll see you tomorrow. 631 00:20:58,431 --> 00:20:59,692 - Oh. You mean Thursday. 632 00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,128 - No, tomorrow. 633 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,609 Christmas dinner, my place. 634 00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,611 Bring something expensive. 635 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,439 - OK, twist my arm. 636 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,397 - Don't be late. 637 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:10,529 - [exhales deeply] 638 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:11,660 OK. 639 00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:13,619 [inhales deeply] 640 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:14,795 [sighs] 641 00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:16,839 Oh, God. 642 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,276 [dummy head clatters] That's--OK, yeah. 643 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,190 That wasn't--yeah. 644 00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:21,279 [sputters] 645 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,194 Glad we didn't do that. All right. 646 00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:24,674 [bell clangs]