.
- OK, so the pain is mainly in your upper right side.
And are you currently taking any medications?
- No.
That's funny, though. [laughs]
- Yeah, that always does get a big laugh.
All right.
What about any family history--
- OK, please don't be mad.
But I told a bit of a whopper to get back here.
- OK.
- My real pain is in my soul.
- Mm. - Uh-huh.
I'm gonna just--
- My husband works here.
We got in a big fight, but I'm gonna get him back.
- I'll stay for a sec.
- He's amazing.
He's strong, brilliant, gorgeous.
- Oh. Oh.
- Are you talking about Dr. Kaufman from Plastics?
- Oh, his calves are huge.
I don't care if they're fake. - Oh, my gosh.
I think I see him. - Wait. The one on the left?
- Ooh, juicy!
- Yeah.
- Matt!
Matthew, it's me.
- Violet? Ooh!
Ugh!
- Oh, Stink!
Are you OK?
- I'm OK.
- Who's Stink?
- Oh.
- Matt's wife.
[upbeat music]
* *
- So apparently, they were married for a couple years.
Then they broke up when he went to nursing school.
- Kind of crazy he never saw anything.
- Oh, that's the weird part?
[chuckles] What?
OK.
If no one else will say it, I will.
A woman, an actual human woman, married Matt.
- Oh, come on.
- Well, it's not tracking for me, to be honest.
- Thank you.
- OK, now I see it.
- You guys are being rude, you know?
- Ooh! - Wow, wow, wow.
- Wait, I missed it. What'd she do?
- Uh-uh.
- Matty the Kid wifed up.
[chuckles, snorts] Well, you know what that means.
Final holdout, yeah.
Marriage?
No, thanks.
You'll never take me alive.
Get back.
[laughs] No.
No, not for Bruce. Mm-mm.
All that, "Get your clothes off the floor,"
and, you know, who picks the movie?
Oh.
There's a flip side, yeah.
Companionship, sure.
Love, trust.
Stability, I suppose.
Yeah, stability.
Yep.
I will never have that.
- Alex, may I speak with you for a moment?
- Yeah. - Kind of a tough convo,
so you might wanna step away, Val.
- Nah.
- Well, fine.
Alex, the turnover time for our patients is way too slow.
Now, I am not blaming you.
I am blaming the nurses that work under you, like Val.
Sorry, Val, but I did warn you.
- I'm fine.
- See, the longer a patient waits,
the less happy they are with their care.
- I know.
Yeah, we need to hire more nurses.
- No, this is not a numbers problem.
This is an attitude problem.
Your nurses need more pep. - Pep.
- I mean, look at us right now.
Here we are, just gabbing away,
flapping our jaws.
- You asked me to talk.
- Yeah, and I was hoping you'd be too busy
to spare the minute.
- Joyce, we're doing our best, OK?
The ER averages 40 patients in a 12-hour shift.
- OK, well, we need that to be 50.
- All right.
Well, unfortunately, we're actually down a nurse
today, so we're probably not even going to reach
our usual target.
- We will reach 50 because I am going to step in myself.
[bangs]
[laughs]
You'll see what a little pep can do.
- Yeah.
- Dr. Henderson back on the floor.
[chuckles] Scratch that.
Nurse Henderson, MD.
- Dude, how come you never told us you were married?
It's kind of a big thing to leave out.
- I know.
I wanted a fresh start, you know?
I didn't want to be the weird guy.
- Well, you are the weird guy,
and this would have changed nothing.
- Can I ask you a question, personal, you know,
divorcé to divorcé?
- Our circumstances are a little different.
- I know, you're old.
But have you ever had a situation where
your ex thought you made a huge mistake,
and they really wanted to get back together?
- [snorts]
- No, Matt, I've never encountered
that particular issue.
We did have a nice talk about how much
of my life insurance payouts she was entitled to receive.
Was that helpful?
- Violet's just so sure we need to give it another shot.
- Well, tell her you don't want to.
I mean, unless you're still in love with her.
- Right.
[PA system crackling, screeching]
- Once again, paging Dr. Emerson.
Dr. Emerson to Zone A.
Dr. Emerson, you are needed immediately.
- [sighs]
- Back in my life.
- I left a woman on the table, Bruce.
- Well, so did I--you.
Wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
I--I just don't think I gave us enough of a shot.
- I broke up with you.
- Because I was emotionally unavailable as a tactic.
I pushed you away.
I don't wanna get into it,
but your car was shockingly dirty.
It gave me the ick.
But what do you say
we give this crazy thing another shot?
- Bruce...
- We can hire someone to clean your car.
- I'm gonna say this as nicely as possible.
No. - OK.
Well, the nicest way would have been to say yes,
even if deep down, you had serious reservations.
- It's over.
I'm seeing someone else.
- [snorts] Plenty of fish.
None that come to mind, though.
- Mm, slam dunk case of strep throat.
Get those meds, and get the heck out of here.
[laughs] I'm kidding, but you are done.
All right, cruising our way to 50.
Looks like a little pep is paying dividends.
- If she gets us to 50 patients,
she'll never hire more nurses. - [sighs] God, I know.
We gotta figure out a way to slow her down, you know?
Prove her wrong.
- I mean, if one of her patients died--
- Val.
- It would slow her down, though.
- Val, stop.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's kidding.
[knocking] - Sorry to keep you waiting.
- No, I'm sorry.
I showed up here totally unexpected,
like a jalapeno in your banana split.
It's just that-- ooh, ah, goodness.
- Are you OK?
How long has that been bothering you?
It's--it's fine.
Um, by stomach hurts because my heart is lonely.
And I've been sweating a lot because my heart is sad.
- Right.
Well, maybe we should still--
- I prepared something.
I wrote it on some TP from the train bathroom.
[clears throat]
Matthew Ebenezer Charles Jedediah Pearson,
it's me, Violet Elizabeth Chastity Stokely Pearson.
- Hang on. I--I--
I care about you, OK, a lot.
But I just--I don't think we have that connection anymore.
Our lives are really different, and--and--
- Oh, OK.
- It's not a bad thing. - Yeah.
It's kind of embarrassing.
I emptied the entire dispenser.
- [sighs] Violet.
- People probably went without,
and it was for nothing.
It's OK.
I'm fine.
Um, I'd like to leave now.
- Yeah.
I'll get the discharge started.
Um...
- Hey, man.
Your ex's white blood cell count is super high.
We got to figure out what's going on.
- What?
Son of a bouncy bunny!
- Can't you just curse like a normal person?
- That's normal cursing.
.
- OK, abdominal pain in the upper right quadrant,
fevers--that is classic
for a gallbladder infection.
I'll tell her she needs an ultrasound.
- Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- We talked about the touching.
- She's not gonna listen to you.
You're a doctor.
Our community doesn't believe in medicine.
That's why going to nursing school meant I had to leave.
I mean, that's why we got divorced.
- How are you people still alive?
Does inbreeding improve the immune system?
- Oh, OK.
Yeah, we're "inbreeders."
Who have you been talking to, the Fergusons?
Because they're the inbreeders.
- I stand corrected.
I apologize.
Now, look, I don't know if your ex
wants to believe this or not, but she's really very sick,
so try and keep her here.
- So, yeah, I gave him the tablet.
But I'm the aunt.
It's my sister's job to monitor what he's watching.
[snips] And done.
Discharged.
Another one bites the dust.
- Uh, Joyce, quick question.
Could use your expertise.
- Quicker.
I'm dialing you up to 1.25.
- I'm not a podcast.
So there is a patient who's requested an MRI,
and his insurance won't cover it
unless it's deemed necessary.
But catch-22, we can't deem it necessary without an MRI.
- Oh, so dumb! - I know. Yes.
Can you please call his insurance
and tell them how dumb it is
so we can get him treated and discharged?
- A phone call? That's it? Of course.
Consider it done--with pep. - OK.
- * You're a grand old flag *
* You're a high flying flag *
- Yeah, insurance calls are pretty quick.
- Yeah, I think my last one was only an hour and a half.
- That is quick.
The on-hold music is catchy, though.
It's like...[vocalizing]
[both vocalizing]
- Violet, please don't go.
- Why not?
You don't want me.
- Well, maybe I spoke too soon.
- Really? - Yes, but I--
I just need you to kind of go through the motions
of being a patient because that's the only way
we can keep talking.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Just--just please stay.
OK.
Hey, Dr. Ron, could we order an ultrasound?
Violet really wants one. - Really?
- Oh, yeah.
I love ultrasounds.
They taste so good.
- Oh. Oh. Yeah.
- So I put some feelers out after Dr. Emerson said
she was seeing someone else.
I got a lot of contacts here,
lots of people in my corner.
They put the pieces together pretty fast.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is this seat taken?
- Uh, no.
But there was a huge puddle of something on it.
- Nah, there wasn't.
- It wasn't water.
Something else for sure.
- Listen, I heard some chatter--
probably not true.
You and Dr. Emerson are seeing each other?
- We've been sharing some time.
- Uh-huh.
Well, I just thought you should know that
there's some unresolved feelings between her and I.
- Me and her. - Her and I.
- We can look it up. - Don't wanna look it up.
Uh, just a fair warning that there might be
a little friendly competition coming your way.
- Brooke's a beautiful woman.
- Who's Brooke?
- Dr. Emerson.
- Brooke Emerson, right.
No, you were mumbling.
I didn't--I know Brooke.
- Hey, if there's unfinished business there, go for it.
- Huh.
- Honestly, I just want her to be happy.
- I mean, that's very gracious of you.
OK, well, I guess that's why you're a chaplain.
[chuckles]
- Just don't come crying to me like a little bitch
when she says no.
- Wait. I'm sorry, what?
- Oh, sorry.
I don't wanna raise my voice.
I said...
[whispering] Don't come crying to me
like a little bitch when she says no.
- [sniffs] Oh.
- How's it going with your lady friend?
Seemed kind of intense.
- Oh, yeah.
Dr. Ron ordered an ultrasound,
but I can't find the requisition code.
- Here.
I just saw you guys holding hands and thought,
oh, maybe he is into her.
- [sighs] No, that's not it.
I--[sighs] I feel like a monster.
- What?
- Not like a literal one, not Dracula.
I mean, he has an excuse.
He needs blood or else.
- OK, you're losing me.
- The only way to get Violet to stay
and get the care she needs
is if I make her think we still have a chance.
- Hey, come on.
That's fine.
You're a good guy, and you're doing the right thing.
- Yeah?
- I mean, not with the req code.
You're about to put her on chemo.
- Ooh.
- I'm aware...[clears throat]
Of where you and Matt come from,
and I don't know if you're prepared
to hear what I have to say.
- Oh, no, that's not true at all.
- But I thought you all think
medicine is silly and all of that.
- Sure, one tenet of our religion
is that we heal through prayer,
but an even bigger tenet is respect for elders.
You carry the fire of wisdom through the ages,
and it is a blessing to receive it.
- Wow.
I like that tenet a lot.
Perhaps I judged Matt's cult too harshly.
Well, "cult" really isn't the right word.
It's more of a commune--
organic farming, harvest festivals.
Sure, there's the ultra-religious nonsense,
but respect for your elders--
that just shows character.
- No, the MRI will give us the evidence.
Are you not seeing the paradox?
Don't put me on hold!
[sighs] Stella, Stella,
let me know when an actual human being
comes on the line.
I have other patients. - Joyce, you know what?
These patients are all taken care of.
So go see Mr. Reynolds in 107.
- 107.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, we got some real stinkers lined up for Joyce.
- Those patients suck.
- That's--I mean, they're just a lot.
- A lot of suck. - [chuckles]
- Hello, Mr. Reynolds.
What seems to be the problem?
- China.
- OK.
Uh, can you be more specific?
- Well, first of all, they've taken over manufacturing.
We used to make things in this country.
- The gel helps the conductivity
as the sound waves come out of this transducer here.
- I love that.
Is medical school just learning super fun words all day?
- Well, that's a lot of it.
[laughter] - Hey there.
- Matthew!
Come sit.
I wanna show you something.
- I brought you a cup of water.
Not sure if you still like those.
- Aw!
I do.
Oh, so this is a photo album of us as kids.
- Aw, Matty!
- Oh, our high school graduating class.
- Just the two of you?
- We weren't even the smallest grade.
- Yeah, the grade below us was just Ethan.
He lives in the woods now.
- Nice powder.
Where'd you guys ski?
- Oh, that's our backyard.
- I do miss Mount Pearson.
- Wait, you have your own mountain?
- Yeah.
Mountain, lake, a bunch of creeks.
- How do you think Matty became such a man's man?
- Why don't we get started?
- OK. - Oh, yeah.
.
- Mmm! You made these from scratch?
- Apples from the orchard.
- Wow, all that harvesting.
That's a lot of hard work, though.
- The young people do that work.
The elders aren't allowed.
* The young produce *
* The elders consume *
- Yep.
My grandpa signed that into law
right when he turned 60.
- Oh, I fibbed.
I made it seem like I made the fritters
when, really, it was my mother.
- Look. There she is.
- That's your mom?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my goodness.
She's a very good-looking woman.
- Thank you. - How old is that picture?
- Oh, that's from last year, right before my father passed.
- She's--is she all alone now?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's interesting.
There is a path here where I end up Matt's dad.
It is interesting.
- My grandpa pronounced us man and man's wife,
and they released about a million doves.
[chuckles] - They flew right into us.
We were covered in poop at our wedding.
I should have known we were doomed.
- Well, I don't know.
It was still kind of a perfect day.
You know, our families were there,
all our friends, everybody we loved.
It really felt like we were exactly
where we were supposed to be.
- It was perfect.
- OK, so the pain is right on the side?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Joyce, your grandma was German, right?
- Huh? - Ha, Germans.
You know, a lot of their wristwatches
don't go tick, tick, tick.
Hands go around smoothly.
Then there's the war, of course.
- It's a little harder than I thought it would be.
Haven't used the bathroom since 8:00 a.m.,
but on the plus side, I also haven't eaten,
so not much to get rid of--
maybe a little from last night.
But we're hitting the numbers.
Pep, pep, pep.
Pep!
- [sighs] Hey, good job in there.
- You too.
- OK.
[Brandy's "Baby" playing]
Where's that--is that you or--
- [sighs] - Oh, my--[laughs]
I was trying to check my texts.
I guess, instead, I put on "Baby" by Brandy.
Whoo!
You remember this one?
- Bruce, I'm trying to--
- Yeah, we hooked up to this one.
- Oh...
- What's going on over here?
- Please, just ignore him.
- Don't worry, I will.
- A little dance party?
- It'd be a bit advanced for you.
- * Baby, all the time *
- A little wooden.
What, you counting the beat in your head there, bud?
- Takes a lot more than that to make me wooden.
- Uh-huh.
OK, you got this one?
[grunts] Ah.
- So you dated both those guys?
- Yeah.
- [grunts]
I got that.
- Yeah.
Let me bless you with this one.
- Oh, no, I don't think I got that one!
I can take that all day.
All right.
Well, how about this?
- Yes!
I got you.
- Oh, nice!
You saw that coming. - I saw it.
- My man.
Are you getting this? - Oh!
- OK.
Let's go take a ride on the sexy canoe.
There it is.
- Snuffleupagus?
Now, that was a buffalo.
[chuckling]
- Hey, Joyce.
- How many patients till we clear 50?
- Three.
But you only have a minute left.
But, hey, you know, you give it a good run.
- I can do this.
- Joyce, you don't have to do this.
It's fine. Oh. Ah!
- You know, that reminds me-- - Enough!
You're clearly a very lonely and bored man.
- Hey!
- But there is a vibe between us.
I feel it. You feel it.
It's undeniable.
I think we need to explore this over drinks tonight
outside the hospital.
- OK. - Great.
Discharged!
Hey!
You listen to me, the doctor.
Our patient needs an MRI, and you are gonna pay for it.
- We're still on hold.
- OK, yeah, just send them to Imaging.
We'll fight this later.
Discharged!
- Oh, my gosh. Only one left!
- Is it weird that I'm rooting for her?
- So am I!
- When I was 39, a tall man named Robert
took me to the Rainforest Café
and bought me this possum in the gift shop.
He kissed me during the tropical rainstorm show.
It changed the nature of my desire, OK?
But if you take that medicine right now,
I will give you Mr. Possum.
Discharge! - Hey!
- I lied.
Ha-ha-ha!
I did it. I did it.
I did it.
Um, carry me.
- Oh, dear. - No.
- OK.
Val! Valerie?
- 9 acres for $40,000?
That can't be right.
- [humming]
- You seem psyched.
- I can feel it.
He wants to be with me.
- Well, Matt cares about you.
That's definitely true.
- Nothing has changed between us.
- Well, some things have changed.
I only mean Matt lives here now.
He's made a lot of new friends, good friends.
- You can't change your heart.
- You can change your heart.
- Matt loves me.
- Well, then why has he never mentioned you?
No, no.
I--I'm sorry.
He does care about you.
That's why he's trying to keep you here--to help.
- Keep me here?
What does that mean?
- Um, nothing.
I--I--I only meant--
- Is he pretending he has feelings just to keep me here?
[sobbing]
- Oh. - No.
[high-pitched crying]
- Oh.
- [wails]
.
- So none of this was real? - You're sick, Vi.
And I-- - Matt Pearson, you are a liar.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
- Hey, don't say things we can't take back.
- But you lied!
You said you'd be with me forever.
And then you left to follow your dream.
What about my dream, to have a family?
To have people see me on the street and say,
"Hey, there's that person with the family,
the one that exists."
- Violet, I want that for you.
But your gallbladder is infected.
And if you don't get surgery, you could die.
That's the truth.
And I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you.
So I'm asking you to trust me.
- I do trust you.
I came all this way for you.
But I have to know if your feelings are gone
or if there's still some in there.
- Violet, I told you.
- Show me with a kiss, one kiss.
And if you truly feel nothing, I'll let it go.
I will get this stupid surgery, and I will let you go.
- See? - Yeah.
It wasn't as good.
- Uh, yeah.
- It gets better than that?
Damn.
- The demands on you guys are so high, almost impossible.
- Exactly!
Joyce, we are spread too thin--
- And yet possible, because I did it.
- OK. I mean, you did just throw up
and then down, like, three Gatorades.
So doesn't that prove we need more staff?
- I don't think so. No.
But you have earned a newfound respect from me.
- What I want is more staff.
- OK, I'm gonna give you one more half shift per week.
One. Are you happy?
- Not really. - Well, neither am I.
So that's evidence of a good compromise.
[grunts]
- So every Tuesday night,
they clear the tables, right?
They bring in a DJ.
I was scared of being alone.
And that's crazy, because I'm not alone.
I've got Chaplain Steve, who's honestly a really great guy.
- We have to go.
- Oh, we're going.
Are you kidding me? - Oh!
We are going. - Yeah.
I don't know. We just click.
- What about Brooke?
- Hmm? Who's Brooke?
- Hey, Matt!
- Oh, Violet's about to go into surgery.
- Yeah, got it.
Concerning this cult of yours--
- Homestead. - Yeah, whatever.
Can anyone join and retire to the skiing mountain
with the women that love the old people and all that?
- Yeah.
Outsiders just have to join the religion...
- I can do that. - And get double circumcised.
- Say what?
It's sad how these people live
uneducated about the world.
It may seem nice, but it's dark.
It's not good.
- Sorry I blew up your spot.
- Nah, it's for the best.
If anything, I feel kind of guilty.
- You only lied to help her.
Give yourself a break.
- No, I kind of held back on the kiss.
Didn't give her the full Matt magic.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Probably only gave her, like, 25%.
- [laughs] OK, player.
- I feel a lot better.
I'm not sure if it's because I got closure with Matt
or because a doctor did science on me,
but either way, this trip was a success.
And Matt?
He's where he should be.
I wanted to take him home to his family,
but maybe this is his family.
Oh, and also, they let me take as many of these as I want.
[bell clangs]