1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:19,561 WOMAN: Now, please welcome the star of stage and screen, and sometimes comedy, 4 00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:22,773 everyone's favorite flavor, Peppermint. 5 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:26,151 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 6 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,921 ♪ Always keep me waitin' 7 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,554 ♪ You never come on time 8 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,266 MAN: Whoo! 9 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:01,478 ♪ Text me every minute 10 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:09,361 ♪ And then you don't reply 11 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,077 ♪ And you ain't got no money 12 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,455 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 13 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:25,460 ♪ Hmm, and you ain't got no place 14 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:26,545 Where we gonna go? 15 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,297 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 16 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,509 ♪ You're always undercover 17 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,809 ♪ All torso and no face 18 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,020 Y'all know which app I'm talking about. 19 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:48,859 ♪ And you don't want nobody seeing me with you 20 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:52,863 ♪ And you ain't got no time for me until you do 21 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:56,491 ♪ Always lying, why can't you just tell the truth? 22 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,870 ♪ There's only one reason that I fucks with you 23 00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:04,041 ♪ You got the best sex 24 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,501 -[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] -[MOANS] 25 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:11,215 ♪ Ooh, boy, you got the best sex 26 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,175 Ooh. 27 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,887 ♪ As for the rest 28 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,389 ♪ Next 29 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,141 Aah. 30 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:26,772 ♪ But boy, you got the best sex 31 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,233 Oh, my gosh. 32 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,321 ♪ You can't make conversation 33 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,912 ♪ All your talk is cheap 34 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,122 About 26 cents. 35 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:51,338 ♪ Hollering at my girlfriend's 36 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,423 Mm-hmm. 37 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,803 ♪ They told me just last week 38 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,722 Yohara and Shaquanda said you DMed them. 39 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:06,436 ♪ You never keep a promise 40 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:13,068 ♪ You're always lying through your teeth 41 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,951 ♪ And you never know your status 42 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,122 Uh-uh. 43 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:29,501 ♪ But then you ask me if I'm clean 44 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,795 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 45 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:37,426 ♪ And you don't want nobody seeing me with you. 46 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:41,180 ♪ You ain't got no time for me until you do 47 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,766 ♪ Never give me notice when you're swinging through 48 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:48,312 ♪ Now, you ain't got too much, but I know this much is true 49 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,899 ♪ You've got the best sex 50 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,567 Oh, my gosh. 51 00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,569 Oh, wait! Don't move! 52 00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:59,698 ♪ Ooh, boy, you got the best sex 53 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,076 ♪ Hmm 54 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,329 ♪ As for the rest 55 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:09,208 ♪ Next 56 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,001 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 57 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:15,297 ♪ But boy, you got the best sex 58 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:23,096 ♪ And I hate that it's all that I know 59 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:27,434 ♪ But I love how you come and you go 60 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,394 ♪ Now let me get the door 61 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,355 ♪ So you can hit the road 62 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,816 ♪ You're only good for one thing, boy 63 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:39,279 ♪ You've got the best sex 64 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,865 ♪ No, no, no, no 65 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:45,994 ♪ Ooh, boy, you got the best sex 66 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,747 Gosh. All right, come on over. 67 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,583 ♪ As for the rest 68 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,378 ♪ Next 69 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,712 ♪ Hmm 70 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,424 ♪ But boy, you got the best 71 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,802 ♪ Sex ♪ 72 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,012 Oh, my God. 73 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,098 [MOANS] 74 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,225 Thanks. Bye. 75 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,353 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 76 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,367 Oh, thank you. 77 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,412 -MAN: Yeah! -Yeah! 78 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,289 Yeah! 79 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,253 True story. 80 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,338 -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] -True story. 81 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,801 Hello, y'all, my name is Peppermint. 82 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,304 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 83 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:50,100 I've a feeling you knew that. 84 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,311 Only because, you know, they said it, 85 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,771 on the microphone before I came out. 86 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,773 -MAN: Love you. -Oh, I love you, baby. 87 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,859 Thank you so much, darling. 88 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:02,321 Well, uh, that song was called "Best Sex," 89 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,157 and, uh, it's basically about all of the... 90 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,120 It's about fuckboys. It's about fuckboys. 91 00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,873 I know it's a curse, but I feel like you can kind of say that now. 92 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,917 It's about fuckboys, okay? 93 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,418 And anybody can be a fuckboy. 94 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,879 Regardless of what you got going on. 95 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,672 Couple of y'all probably in this audience, 96 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,258 and before the end of tonight, we're going to find out who you are. 97 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,219 Okay? 98 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:31,725 So, welcome, y'all, to the show. 99 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,353 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 100 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,771 Yes. 101 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,397 I want to know who's up in this audience. 102 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,525 Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 103 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,901 If you live in New York City, make some noise right now. Put your hands right up. 104 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,444 -[AUDIENCE CHEERING] -Oh! 105 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,197 Yes. 106 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,241 -Mm-hmm. -MAN: Yeah! 107 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,285 Are there any, um, 108 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,498 heterosexuals in the audience tonight? 109 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,708 -[FAINT CHEERING] -Okay. 110 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,169 That was the most shame-ridden applause. 111 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,552 MAN: Whoo! 112 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,180 [LAUGHS] 113 00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:12,307 You're on our turf now, honey. 114 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:14,935 MAN: Whoo! 115 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,564 Okay, where my single folks at? 116 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,649 Make some noise. Single folks. Hey! 117 00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,276 -[AUDIENCE CHEERING] -Ooh! 118 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,282 If you're in a relationship, let me hear you make some noise. 119 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,617 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 120 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,371 What, you feel special? 121 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,455 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 122 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,456 That's nice. 123 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,043 Anybody in a long term relationship? 124 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,338 -[FAINT CHEERING] -Yeah? 125 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,049 Okay. Are we together right now? The two of y'all. 126 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,719 Hello, gorgeouses. Ow. 127 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,346 You look like a sexy couple. I like it. 128 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,347 How'd y'all meet? 129 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,476 Oh, shit. 130 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:59,313 Honey, you know, when you ask some queer folks how they met, it's... 131 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,732 Look, pull up a chair, bitch. 132 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,276 And first of all, are you a law enforcement officer? 133 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,196 I'm not. [LAUGHS] 134 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,031 So wait, how-ish did y'all meet? 135 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,324 You can give us like the... 136 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,910 -Ooh. -[INDISTINCT] 137 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,205 Okay, already too much, honey. 138 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,709 Did you meet online or in person? 139 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,211 That's all I want to know. 140 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,837 -In person. -In per... In per... Okay. 141 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,839 Oh, you met on the train. 142 00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,841 Oh, it was a late night kind of thing. 143 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,593 [LAUGHS] 144 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:32,095 I've been there. [CHUCKLES] 145 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,681 We might have met if you'd just waited ten minutes. 146 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,563 You know, I go back and forth between... 147 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,732 thinking I want to get married or be single, 148 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:44,983 and I'm not quite sure. 149 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,777 Who wants to get married? Make some noise. 150 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,238 Okay, no, listen. 151 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,281 The rest of y'all don't wanna get... Listen. 152 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,493 Getting married actually could be a really good thing, 153 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,245 and not for the reasons you think. 154 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,247 I mean, I want to get married 155 00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,665 because I am tired 156 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,917 of the motherfucking dating scene. 157 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,169 I'm over it. 158 00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,046 The apps. 159 00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,840 The apps. 160 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,133 The apps. 161 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:16,014 And for most people, of course, everybody knows dating is hard. 162 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,599 It really is. 163 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:18,976 But for queer people 164 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,645 and trans people, dating... 165 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,606 is terrible. 166 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,944 Dating, while trans, 167 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:30,654 that's the... I'ma talk about it. 168 00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:33,365 Dating while motherfucking trans. 169 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,075 Damn. 170 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,953 Make me sick already. 171 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:40,205 So if you're dating, if you're a trans woman and you date... 172 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,165 [EXHALES] 173 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,419 ...cisgender straight men, 174 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,838 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 175 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,716 Now I feel... Now I know why the straight person was like, uh... 176 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,010 Goddamn it! 177 00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:59,057 if you... if you're a trans woman and you date men, 178 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,727 It's like... it's like dating the Babadook, okay? 179 00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,522 Never in public. 180 00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:09,902 Always at night. 181 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:14,031 And honey, he has been under all your friends in their beds, too. 182 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,240 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 183 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:18,243 I mean, it's the truth. 184 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,495 Ooh, child. I wish some of these straight guys 185 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:23,248 were actually as fictitious as the damn Babadook, okay? 186 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,669 Okay, let me tell you. 187 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,505 I was dating this one guy. 188 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,759 If you could call it dating. 189 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:39,264 Okay, we fought and he started crying, basically. 190 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,391 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 191 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,312 And I'm like, "Damn, 192 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,564 "you must have got some pepper in your eyes." 193 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:54,738 And then I realized, "Uh, no, no." 194 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,824 He's just doing something we in the trans community call 195 00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,744 "After sex side effects." 196 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,748 That's right. Sit down. You're already sitting. 197 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,587 I call them "After sex society effects," okay? 198 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,589 'Cause these men love what they're doing. 199 00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,299 Honey, they know who we are. 200 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,552 They know what they are getting. 201 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,639 And they live for it until... 202 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,809 they worry about what the society might have to say later on. 203 00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:27,062 It's the truth, child. 204 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:28,939 You know, and they come in all varieties. 205 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,440 Yeah, uh-huh. 206 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,608 Like this one guy, 207 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:36,196 I had to stop sleeping with his ass. 208 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,865 'Cause, uh, like clockwork, 209 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,992 he'd come, 210 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,743 and he'd tell me how amazing it was. 211 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,704 You know? I mean, come on. 212 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,289 -[AUDIENCE CHEERING] -[LAUGHING] 213 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,751 We already knew that. 214 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,091 And then he would vomit all over my house. 215 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,470 It's the truth. Every damn time. 216 00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:01,638 I'm talking everywhere. 217 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,224 Bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, 218 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,559 everywhere but the toilet. 219 00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:09,646 And I liked him. 220 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,648 I liked his behind, so I bought him a bucket. 221 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,067 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 222 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,362 But he kept missing. 223 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,826 Eventually, I had to cut him off. 224 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:29,625 But the wildest society effect I have ever experienced... 225 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,793 [EXHALES] 226 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,171 ...was this dude that... Honey, okay, let me tell you. 227 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,090 He put in the work. 228 00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:40,052 He put in the work, If you know what I'm saying, 229 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,845 y'all, okay? 230 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,724 So here's what happened. 231 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,268 We get done, you know, doing the do. 232 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,062 And he asked if he could take a shower 233 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,272 and I'm like, "Yeah, I mean, the soap's on the left." 234 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,861 And he's like, uh, "Do you have anything stronger than soap?" 235 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,200 I'm like, "Damn, what's stronger than soap?" 236 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,578 You want some bleach? 237 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,247 [LAUGHS] 238 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,041 And he's like, "Yes". 239 00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:13,377 [EXHALES] 240 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,503 Oh, hell no. 241 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,256 [EXHALES] So, 242 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,259 then he uses my entire bottle of bleach 243 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,094 to bathe his whole ass. 244 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,388 It's true. 245 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,764 -MAN: No. -Yes. 246 00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:31,061 It's true, and I'm like, 247 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,939 "Please. 248 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,233 "Please don't use it all. I got to clean up some vomit." 249 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:38,861 "Please." 250 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,077 And I'm watching him clean himself 251 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:50,163 and, uh, you know, rinse the bleach all down his body 252 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:52,875 and I'm starting to see my dignity go right down the drain. 253 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,795 Hmm. 254 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,547 And I said, "To hell with that. 255 00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:00,257 "To hell with that. 256 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:03,385 "I am never dating again. 257 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:05,846 -MAN: Whoo! -[WHISTLES] 258 00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:11,602 So the next week, I'm on another date, y'all. 259 00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:14,104 You know. 260 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,858 You know, 'cause the bitch can't not date. 261 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,193 I mean... [LAUGHS] 262 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,404 Whoo! 263 00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:23,780 I spread my number everywhere. 264 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,950 But seriously, y'all. 265 00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:30,037 I did take a break from dating for a couple of months, you know? 266 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,580 And when I started again, 267 00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:34,583 I started a few months later with... 268 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:37,461 just a different self in mind. 269 00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:38,712 I totally changed. 270 00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:40,422 I was different. I... 271 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:42,799 wanted commitment. 272 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,803 I deserved it. 273 00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,388 [FAINT APPLAUSE] 274 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,390 Mm-hmm. 275 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,184 But... 276 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:54,186 on my search for commitment, 277 00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:55,812 I discovered... 278 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:58,273 I also have a kind of hidden talent. 279 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:00,984 Oh, yes. 280 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,779 I... I will. I'll tell you. 281 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,782 I discovered... 282 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,744 that I was a translator. 283 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,586 Not languages, not languages. 284 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:26,009 Basically, I transform decent men into better men 285 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:28,846 for later relationships with other women. 286 00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:31,515 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 287 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,978 And as trans women, you know, we go through a lot of 288 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,772 personal and emotional transitions, which means... 289 00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:42,067 we transcend to maturity quicker than the average person. 290 00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,111 Yes. 291 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,405 So when our partners, when they're with us, 292 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,116 they're essentially getting a free master class 293 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,326 on how not to be a bad boyfriend. 294 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,412 You know? 295 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,663 I dated this one guy, 296 00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:57,082 Tim. Mm-hmm. 297 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,294 Hold it. Just wait. 298 00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,173 We dated for about a year and you know, 299 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,466 he was really confident and sexy, 300 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:11,138 and he stood a whopping six-foot seven inches tall. 301 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,931 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 302 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,188 Just kidding. Just kidding. 303 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,067 Now, look, y'all, I'm 6'1, okay? 304 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:28,363 I am a very big girl. Okay? I know. 305 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,365 Honey, I mean, I like it, too. 306 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,326 And he liked it, too. I never thought 307 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,871 that I would get to feel what dainty felt like, you know what I mean? 308 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,963 But with him, he made me feel so petite. 309 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,340 We would walk down the street 310 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,467 and he would just snuggle me up in his armpit. 311 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,720 I can still smell his musk. 312 00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:57,392 It was all right. I started... Eventually grew to like it. 313 00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,103 And he never shied away from it. He'll be like, "Come on, baby". 314 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,981 Yes, yes. And as a trans woman, 315 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,484 I've got to be honest with you. I am... 316 00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:08,695 I know I have this in common with a lot of queer folks too. 317 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:12,282 I am aware of everything. 318 00:17:12,658 --> 00:17:13,951 Okay? 319 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,245 You know, we have to be. We have to be, like, 320 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,789 hyper aware. Even when I'm at home, alone. 321 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,165 I'm like, "What is that? A fly?" 322 00:17:24,503 --> 00:17:27,339 'Cause, you know, we never know where the threat is coming from. 323 00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:28,423 Uh-uh. 324 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:29,424 A fly? 325 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,760 A legislation? 326 00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:33,971 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 327 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,306 A children's book author? 328 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,769 Whose name I shall not speak of. 329 00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:44,982 But it rhymes with "May kay flowerings." 330 00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,570 Mm-mmm. But not Tim. 331 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,114 He was the total opposite of me. 332 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,282 Mm-hmm. 333 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:54,408 And he never cared. 334 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,993 He never cared what people thought 335 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,745 or what they were looking at, what they had to say, 336 00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,706 or if they were judging us. 337 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,041 So I had to ask him one day, 338 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,210 "You don't worry what people think when they see us?" 339 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:08,755 "Of course not. 340 00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,216 "I'm a six-foot-seven white man. 341 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,302 "I am the people." 342 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,179 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 343 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,981 It's true. But ooh... 344 00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,984 I mean, I thought, what kind of privilege is that? 345 00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,777 I am a Black trans woman. 346 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:34,448 I can only dream of that kind of freedom, okay? 347 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,201 And as much as I love me some tall Tim, 348 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,328 in the end, it didn't work. 349 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,746 So, you know, 350 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:44,208 I found out I was just his translator. 351 00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,794 Well, let me tell you, they always circle back 352 00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:51,298 with some kind of messed up unwanted update, okay? 353 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:54,176 So, like, a year later, after we broke up, he texts me. 354 00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:01,850 "Thank you so much for making me a better man. 355 00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:04,186 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 356 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,189 "I am so happy 357 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,149 "now that I'm with Tammy. 358 00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:15,239 "And it's all because of you." 359 00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:21,495 Mmm. 360 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:23,789 Thank you? 361 00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:30,504 But I wasn't too heartbroken because I actually was on tour. 362 00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,339 I poured myself into my work 363 00:19:32,381 --> 00:19:34,925 and I was touring all over the world. 364 00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:36,593 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 365 00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:37,719 Making money. 366 00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:39,888 And... [CHUCKLES] 367 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,976 I was on tour in Ireland, 368 00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:48,438 where I met Sean. 369 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,317 Bop. 370 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,822 I like to call him my lucky charm. 371 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:00,784 'Cause he was magically delicious. 372 00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:02,744 If you know what I'm trying to say to you. 373 00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:06,081 [LAUGHS] 374 00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:08,876 And we were in a long distance relationship 375 00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:11,628 for four years. 376 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,882 That's a long time. 377 00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:17,050 Mm-hmm. And we made it work, honey. 378 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:20,762 We made it a point to get together every single Christmas. 379 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,015 Like clockwork. 380 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,475 And, you know, he and I were doing that pandemic type stuff 381 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,769 way before the pandemic, honey. Video chat? 382 00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:28,770 Pssh. 383 00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,316 Every week. [LAUGHS] 384 00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:33,775 What can I say? I'm a trendsetter. 385 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,487 And date night. they were really special 386 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,156 'cause I would get all dolled up, 387 00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,324 from the titties up. 388 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,662 Didn't have to... Well, anyway. 389 00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,122 Some of y'all know what I'm talking about. 390 00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:49,917 [LAUGHS] 391 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,085 And we started having issues though because... 392 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:53,962 he was hiding things. 393 00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:57,382 No, no, no. Look, don't get me wrong. 394 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,426 We were long distance, so of course, 395 00:20:59,468 --> 00:21:01,553 he was hiding things. Hell, 396 00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:04,348 this couple right here is definitely hiding something, honey. 397 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:07,559 [LAUGHS MISCHIEVOUSLY] 398 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:10,187 And, you know, it's obvious that, you know, 399 00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:12,606 we are not going to be telling each other the full truth 400 00:21:12,648 --> 00:21:16,276 from 4,800 kilometers away. 401 00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:19,905 So, come to find out... 402 00:21:20,656 --> 00:21:22,115 [EXHALES] 403 00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:24,117 He was always drunk. 404 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,411 Wait, wait. No, no, not drunk. 405 00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:29,540 Irish. [LAUGHS] 406 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,126 But I let it slide 'cause, hell, you know, 407 00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:35,295 we have been together for four years, right? 408 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:38,090 And so, all right. I loved him. I did. 409 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:41,134 So one year, I fly into Ireland 410 00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:44,763 for our annual Christmas rendezvous. 411 00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:47,558 [CHUCKLES] Yes. 412 00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:50,185 And I'm on my way to his house in a taxi, 413 00:21:50,227 --> 00:21:51,478 and, uh, he texts me. 414 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,106 "Don't come." 415 00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:57,609 Don't come? 416 00:21:57,651 --> 00:21:59,695 Honey, it's Christmas. I come every single year. 417 00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:03,407 [LAUGHS] 418 00:22:05,242 --> 00:22:06,451 Then he texts me, 419 00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:08,662 "This ain't working out." 420 00:22:08,704 --> 00:22:09,955 -WOMAN: What? -What? 421 00:22:10,873 --> 00:22:12,040 Oh, hell, no, honey, 422 00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:13,500 you're not about to break up with me 423 00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:15,586 after four years over text. 424 00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:17,504 MAN: No! 425 00:22:17,546 --> 00:22:19,214 I mean, look, 426 00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:22,843 it is actually very considerate because I am a very busy woman 427 00:22:22,885 --> 00:22:25,470 and I think it's considerate of my time 428 00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:28,098 as a lady on the go. But... 429 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:30,392 forget all that, "Honey, I'm on my way. 430 00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:34,188 "And you better be there when I get there. 431 00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:35,731 "And when I get there, 432 00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:37,065 "you better be there." 433 00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:41,236 Actually was a cell phone. It wasn't that... Whatever. 434 00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:42,237 Whatever. 435 00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:45,657 [LAUGHS] 436 00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:50,871 So when I finally get to his house and see him 437 00:22:50,913 --> 00:22:52,706 and his new girlfriend, 438 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:56,210 Sandy. 439 00:22:57,753 --> 00:22:59,046 Mm-hmm. 440 00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:00,797 They were standing outside all drunk. 441 00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:04,051 I mean, Irish. 442 00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:09,348 And before I could even get out the car, 443 00:23:10,599 --> 00:23:12,726 he talking about... 444 00:23:12,768 --> 00:23:16,146 [IN IRISH ACCENT] "Thank you so much for making me a better man. 445 00:23:17,898 --> 00:23:20,859 "I'm so happy now that I'm with Sandy." 446 00:23:20,901 --> 00:23:22,694 [IN NORMAL VOICE] What? I don't know what Irish accent that is. 447 00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:25,572 And she's like, 448 00:23:25,614 --> 00:23:28,033 "And it's all because of you." 449 00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,080 And all I could think... 450 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:35,832 was, "Damn, 451 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:39,211 "I'm translating kind of slow. Four years? 452 00:23:39,253 --> 00:23:40,712 "Why'd it take so long?" 453 00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:46,385 But I guess, you know, some meat need more work than others. 454 00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:51,223 Well... 455 00:23:51,265 --> 00:23:53,767 Here's the news. My last relationship, y'all. 456 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:59,147 I thought he was the one. 457 00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:01,149 It was one of the healthiest relationships 458 00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:03,110 I have ever been in. 459 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,905 I met his friends, I met his family, 460 00:24:06,947 --> 00:24:09,366 and he was the epitome of unbothered. 461 00:24:09,408 --> 00:24:10,534 Woke, if you will. 462 00:24:11,368 --> 00:24:13,662 Mm-hmm. 463 00:24:13,704 --> 00:24:16,373 And yes, if you're wondering, he was younger than me. 464 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,251 If you need a reference, think, uh, 465 00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:22,421 Kim K. and Pete Davidson. 466 00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:24,214 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 467 00:24:26,175 --> 00:24:27,259 I'll get a tattoo. 468 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,556 And I love that we argued over simple little things, 469 00:24:32,598 --> 00:24:35,309 like, you know, the toilet seat or what to watch or... 470 00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:36,810 him touching my wigs. I told him, 471 00:24:36,852 --> 00:24:39,438 "Do not touch my hair! 472 00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:41,523 "Especially when it's not on my head." 473 00:24:41,565 --> 00:24:43,275 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 474 00:24:44,568 --> 00:24:45,527 We broke up. 475 00:24:47,279 --> 00:24:48,363 Over speakers. 476 00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:50,949 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH] 477 00:24:53,035 --> 00:24:53,994 Speakers. 478 00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:56,246 Speakers. Yes. 479 00:24:56,288 --> 00:24:58,832 So he was an aspiring DJ. 480 00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:01,335 [IMITATES VOMITING] 481 00:25:06,173 --> 00:25:07,549 -Mmm. -MAN: Aspiring. 482 00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:09,092 Yes. 483 00:25:10,385 --> 00:25:11,512 It's aspiring. 484 00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:14,264 [EXHALES] 485 00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:19,561 And he really wanted these fancy black speakers with the yellow ring. 486 00:25:19,603 --> 00:25:22,898 You know, so me being the ball and boss bitch that I am... 487 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,651 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 488 00:25:27,778 --> 00:25:30,447 I was like, "You want me to get you these speakers, boo?" 489 00:25:30,489 --> 00:25:31,990 I mean, it's nothing. I mean, I'm... 490 00:25:32,991 --> 00:25:33,951 on tour. 491 00:25:37,246 --> 00:25:39,915 And he's like, he looks me in the eye. 492 00:25:40,624 --> 00:25:41,583 And he says, 493 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:44,211 "I... I don't like gifts." 494 00:25:46,255 --> 00:25:47,381 You don't like gifts. 495 00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:49,925 You don't like gifts? 496 00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:52,719 Who doesn't like gifts? 497 00:25:53,929 --> 00:25:55,639 Hello? 498 00:25:55,681 --> 00:25:57,975 That's like offering somebody a glass of water and they're like, 499 00:25:58,016 --> 00:26:00,352 "No, no, I actually prefer to be dehydrated." 500 00:26:00,978 --> 00:26:01,979 No, no. 501 00:26:04,106 --> 00:26:06,316 All right. So I didn't think anything else about it. 502 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,110 Mistake number one. 503 00:26:09,361 --> 00:26:11,738 So a month later, I go over to his house, 504 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:13,407 and, uh, 505 00:26:13,448 --> 00:26:16,285 lo and behold, what do I see? 506 00:26:16,326 --> 00:26:19,663 The fancy black speakers with the yellow ring. 507 00:26:25,169 --> 00:26:28,338 [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] 508 00:26:30,215 --> 00:26:31,550 [EXHALES] 509 00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:43,729 So, I'm like... [CHUCKLES] 510 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:45,314 "Boo... 511 00:26:48,150 --> 00:26:49,610 "Where did you get these speakers?" 512 00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:53,655 And he's like, 513 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:55,908 "Oh, my friend Trina brought 'em for me." 514 00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:58,076 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] 515 00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:00,954 "As a gift." 516 00:27:04,124 --> 00:27:05,626 Damn. I knew I should have bought them 517 00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,544 damn speakers for him before. Dammit. 518 00:27:09,046 --> 00:27:10,797 In fact, 519 00:27:10,839 --> 00:27:12,424 I don't think that this is working. 520 00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:24,353 That's me getting in the car and driving. 521 00:27:24,394 --> 00:27:26,104 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 522 00:27:29,191 --> 00:27:30,817 So, I'm on my way home. 523 00:27:31,944 --> 00:27:34,613 Sad, devastated, 524 00:27:34,655 --> 00:27:36,532 but also really excited 525 00:27:36,573 --> 00:27:40,035 because I just concluded my first ever 526 00:27:40,077 --> 00:27:42,329 normal relationship. 527 00:27:42,371 --> 00:27:44,331 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 528 00:27:44,373 --> 00:27:45,541 From beginning to end. 529 00:27:49,586 --> 00:27:52,172 You know, just regular old relationship behavior. 530 00:27:52,214 --> 00:27:54,174 Honey, no vomiting. Okay? 531 00:27:57,010 --> 00:27:59,471 So in the middle of my celebration, 532 00:28:00,556 --> 00:28:03,976 I get a text from him saying, 533 00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:07,104 "Thank you so much for making me a better man. 534 00:28:07,145 --> 00:28:09,857 "I'm so happy now that I'm with Trina. 535 00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:13,360 "And it's all because of you." 536 00:28:13,402 --> 00:28:14,403 God. 537 00:28:14,945 --> 00:28:16,488 It's true. 538 00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:18,532 I gotta get out of the damn translation business, honey. 539 00:28:19,449 --> 00:28:20,784 'Cause this is not working. 540 00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:22,744 Anybody got some bleach? 541 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:29,209 But seriously, seriously, 542 00:28:29,251 --> 00:28:32,462 trans people have a very hard time, not just with dating, 543 00:28:32,504 --> 00:28:35,174 but with other things, too, like access to health care. 544 00:28:37,301 --> 00:28:39,011 Uh, bitch. I get sick, too. [COUGHS] 545 00:28:40,345 --> 00:28:42,431 Just kidding. Way too soon. Sorry. 546 00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:45,309 ♪ Just kidding ♪ 547 00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:47,060 I tested backstage. It's all good. 548 00:28:48,979 --> 00:28:50,856 Or things like fatal attacks. 549 00:28:55,235 --> 00:28:56,278 There's no joke for that. 550 00:28:57,571 --> 00:28:59,364 Or sports bans. 551 00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:01,575 Sports bans. 552 00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:04,703 Sports... bans. 553 00:29:06,079 --> 00:29:07,789 I mean, 554 00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:11,710 I know I look good, but do I look like a superhuman athlete? 555 00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:15,881 Me? Athlete? 556 00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:20,761 People assume that simply taking hormones 557 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:24,515 gives a trans person some type of advantage, you know? 558 00:29:24,556 --> 00:29:26,266 But I'm here to tell you, 559 00:29:26,308 --> 00:29:28,143 before I started estrogen, 560 00:29:29,186 --> 00:29:31,063 I would walk to the fridge. 561 00:29:32,898 --> 00:29:36,485 Child. Now, honey, I got me a cooler on the side of the bed. 562 00:29:36,527 --> 00:29:38,153 Okay? I ain't got the strength. 563 00:29:38,195 --> 00:29:39,238 I ain't got the strength. 564 00:29:41,156 --> 00:29:42,115 I'm a woman. 565 00:29:44,493 --> 00:29:46,828 In fact, if they told me 566 00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:51,416 that I had to swim the entire length of this stage 567 00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:52,584 to save the world, 568 00:29:54,878 --> 00:29:56,547 we all dying. 569 00:29:56,588 --> 00:29:59,132 Sorry, y'all, would be very nice. But... 570 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:01,885 No, wait. Look, I can swim. 571 00:30:04,054 --> 00:30:06,974 Well, doggy paddle in the... the shallow end. 572 00:30:08,642 --> 00:30:10,811 But the number one thing 573 00:30:11,728 --> 00:30:13,438 that has everybody 574 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,065 giving their damn opinion about, 575 00:30:16,233 --> 00:30:17,192 is bathrooms. 576 00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:19,945 Mmm-mmm-mmm. 577 00:30:19,987 --> 00:30:22,030 Now, listen, meeting in the ladies room 578 00:30:22,072 --> 00:30:25,701 is a very longstanding tradition. It is. 579 00:30:25,742 --> 00:30:29,663 In fact, that is the place where I became a woman. 580 00:30:31,373 --> 00:30:32,332 Okay. Thank you. 581 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:35,085 You know, like, where is this going? 582 00:30:36,670 --> 00:30:38,589 And what I mean by that is it's the very first place 583 00:30:38,630 --> 00:30:41,300 that I ever took my first hormone shot. 584 00:30:43,343 --> 00:30:44,553 Let me tell ya. 585 00:30:44,595 --> 00:30:46,680 It's sort of, I think, a rite of passage 586 00:30:46,722 --> 00:30:49,641 to have a close girlfriend or chosen family 587 00:30:49,683 --> 00:30:51,560 or someone give you your first shot 588 00:30:51,602 --> 00:30:53,770 and welcome you into the sisterhood. 589 00:30:53,812 --> 00:30:55,272 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 590 00:30:55,314 --> 00:30:58,692 Because this was such a special moment 591 00:30:58,734 --> 00:31:00,777 and a really big deal. 592 00:31:01,778 --> 00:31:03,822 We chose the perfect place. 593 00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:06,450 A public restroom. 594 00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:08,493 In New York City. 595 00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:13,040 Now, let me explain. In New York City, 596 00:31:13,081 --> 00:31:16,084 you rarely travel all the way to someone else's house. 597 00:31:16,126 --> 00:31:18,670 You actually just, you know, meet up somewhere neutral, 598 00:31:18,712 --> 00:31:21,298 like a park or a cafe or a bar, you know. 599 00:31:21,340 --> 00:31:25,552 So we decided to meet up for a celebratory dinner. Yes. 600 00:31:25,594 --> 00:31:27,262 Dinner and shots, honey. 601 00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:29,473 Hormone shots. 602 00:31:30,182 --> 00:31:32,267 I don't drink. 603 00:31:32,309 --> 00:31:36,897 So we met up at the famed Dallas BBQ in New York City. 604 00:31:36,939 --> 00:31:38,482 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 605 00:31:41,902 --> 00:31:45,072 'Cause nothing says womanhood like a $5 chicken plate. 606 00:31:46,031 --> 00:31:48,200 [LAUGHS] Okay? 607 00:31:48,242 --> 00:31:51,870 Uh, and for some reason, the bathrooms are always downstairs. 608 00:31:53,872 --> 00:31:55,624 [EXHALES] Now, 609 00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:57,584 we waited until the restroom was clear. 610 00:32:00,379 --> 00:32:02,714 And then we rushed together into the last stall. 611 00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:07,761 It's not a big deal. I mean, visually, 612 00:32:09,638 --> 00:32:10,806 I present lady. 613 00:32:11,682 --> 00:32:13,976 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 614 00:32:16,562 --> 00:32:17,521 But my voice... 615 00:32:24,194 --> 00:32:26,405 So as the lady I am, 616 00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:29,283 I, uh, I was not prepared for what happened next. 617 00:32:30,617 --> 00:32:32,995 We get into the stall... [CLEARS THROAT] 618 00:32:33,871 --> 00:32:35,247 ...and I pulled down my pants. 619 00:32:38,292 --> 00:32:40,502 And she pulled out the biggest needle 620 00:32:40,544 --> 00:32:44,047 I have ever seen in my whole life. 621 00:32:44,923 --> 00:32:46,550 [EXHALES] 622 00:32:46,592 --> 00:32:49,344 I was shocked at the size and the thickness of this thing. 623 00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:55,392 I'm like, "My God, that is so big. 624 00:32:55,434 --> 00:32:57,561 "Do you think the whole thing's going to fit inside me?" 625 00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:01,773 [PANTING] 626 00:33:06,528 --> 00:33:08,197 [BREATHING RAPIDLY] 627 00:33:12,284 --> 00:33:13,619 I'm like, breathing and moaning. 628 00:33:15,287 --> 00:33:16,246 Okay, keep going. 629 00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:20,209 And I'm like, 630 00:33:21,627 --> 00:33:22,794 "Is it in yet?" 631 00:33:24,546 --> 00:33:26,173 Oh! Oh. 632 00:33:26,215 --> 00:33:28,675 "Hey, that's not as bad as I thought it would be. 633 00:33:28,717 --> 00:33:29,676 "Hey." 634 00:33:30,260 --> 00:33:31,637 [MOANS] 635 00:33:34,056 --> 00:33:35,849 Put it in, baby, put it in. 636 00:33:38,352 --> 00:33:40,812 And just then from the next stall we hear, 637 00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:42,648 "Oh, Mary and Joseph. 638 00:33:42,689 --> 00:33:46,026 "I can't believe there's a man and woman having sex in the bathroom." 639 00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:54,993 Now we're scrambling to put on my clothes. 640 00:33:55,035 --> 00:33:57,955 [INDISTINCT] 641 00:33:57,996 --> 00:34:00,082 And then eventually, we make a break for it. 642 00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:03,335 And just when we're walking out, 643 00:34:03,377 --> 00:34:05,504 just in time to see the manager 644 00:34:05,546 --> 00:34:09,091 and some little old white lady whose name I think was Karen, 645 00:34:10,592 --> 00:34:13,303 running past us into the bathroom. 646 00:34:14,263 --> 00:34:15,597 Mm-hmm. 647 00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,684 As I passed her, I was like, "Too late, bitch". 648 00:34:18,725 --> 00:34:20,477 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 649 00:34:21,562 --> 00:34:22,980 Already injected. 650 00:34:23,647 --> 00:34:25,774 Bop. Activated. 651 00:34:27,276 --> 00:34:28,819 [LAUGHS] 652 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,614 Okay. Well, you know, 653 00:34:33,448 --> 00:34:34,408 everyone... 654 00:34:35,951 --> 00:34:36,910 I can't... 655 00:34:38,453 --> 00:34:40,122 ignore the elephant in the room. 656 00:34:41,707 --> 00:34:43,709 Everyone wants to hear a little something 657 00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:46,420 about RuPaul's Drag Race, I think. 658 00:34:46,461 --> 00:34:47,838 Would you like to hear? 659 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,174 Now, y'all heard a lot about drag race, I think. 660 00:34:51,633 --> 00:34:52,968 You know, if you're on Reddit, I'm sure. 661 00:34:55,554 --> 00:34:56,555 For you. 662 00:34:58,265 --> 00:35:00,434 $700, bitch, you fell for it. 663 00:35:00,475 --> 00:35:01,727 Stupid. 664 00:35:01,768 --> 00:35:03,353 Venmo me. Venmo me. 665 00:35:03,395 --> 00:35:04,980 I think I'm banned from Venmo. 666 00:35:06,815 --> 00:35:08,692 So here's my RuPaul... 667 00:35:08,734 --> 00:35:09,776 Would you like to hear a little something about RuPaul's Drag Race? 668 00:35:09,818 --> 00:35:12,654 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 669 00:35:12,696 --> 00:35:15,949 Now everybody knows that RuPaul's Drag Race is pretty much... 670 00:35:15,991 --> 00:35:17,367 the most popular show... 671 00:35:18,702 --> 00:35:20,621 in existence. It's in... 672 00:35:20,662 --> 00:35:22,748 every country, on every planet, 673 00:35:22,789 --> 00:35:25,584 in every galaxy and solar system... 674 00:35:26,835 --> 00:35:28,420 in the world. 675 00:35:28,462 --> 00:35:29,880 But what a lot of people don't really know 676 00:35:29,922 --> 00:35:32,382 is how it actually works, right. 677 00:35:32,424 --> 00:35:34,843 Now, basically, you know, you know the gist of it. It's... 678 00:35:34,885 --> 00:35:37,721 Basically they invite a group of drag queens to come 679 00:35:37,763 --> 00:35:39,723 and compete every single week 680 00:35:39,765 --> 00:35:42,017 and they have challenges 681 00:35:42,059 --> 00:35:43,894 and they bring a lot of clothes and whoever does the worst 682 00:35:43,936 --> 00:35:46,939 in the challenges goes home until there's a winner. 683 00:35:48,357 --> 00:35:51,151 And a lot of the challenges are, you know, very um, 684 00:35:51,193 --> 00:35:53,779 fashion related. You have to bring a lot of clothes and stuff like that, 685 00:35:53,820 --> 00:35:56,532 so you have to bring a lot of stuff to go to the show. 686 00:35:58,325 --> 00:36:00,744 Costumes, on costumes, on costumes. So... 687 00:36:00,786 --> 00:36:03,580 Uh, it takes a long time to pack. Let's just say that. 688 00:36:03,622 --> 00:36:05,499 So I'm at home packing. 689 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:07,709 [EXHALES] 690 00:36:07,751 --> 00:36:09,294 And I was like, you know, let me binge watch. 691 00:36:09,336 --> 00:36:11,338 This was 2016 when I was on the show, so... 692 00:36:11,380 --> 00:36:13,048 Let me binge watch a show. 693 00:36:13,090 --> 00:36:15,467 I started binge watching this show called UnREAL. 694 00:36:18,971 --> 00:36:20,472 Which is basically... 695 00:36:20,514 --> 00:36:22,182 Uh, it's a scripted series, 696 00:36:22,224 --> 00:36:24,852 but it's about a reality competition. 697 00:36:24,893 --> 00:36:26,687 Bachelor style. 698 00:36:26,728 --> 00:36:28,647 Uh, kind of behind the scenes where... 699 00:36:28,689 --> 00:36:31,275 they, um, you know, the producers of the show, 700 00:36:31,316 --> 00:36:33,652 torment the contestants 701 00:36:33,694 --> 00:36:36,196 and really... they do some really dastardly stuff. 702 00:36:36,238 --> 00:36:38,365 Like convince him to start doing drugs 703 00:36:38,407 --> 00:36:40,409 or drop out of school or... 704 00:36:40,450 --> 00:36:41,910 You know... Go murder someone. 705 00:36:41,952 --> 00:36:43,203 Like, what... It's kind of crazy. 706 00:36:44,580 --> 00:36:46,164 And so I binge watched this whole thing. 707 00:36:46,206 --> 00:36:48,041 And by the time I finish the last episode 708 00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:50,002 and zip up my suitcases, 709 00:36:50,043 --> 00:36:52,296 I am very paranoid. 710 00:36:54,882 --> 00:36:56,925 So on the first day of filming, 711 00:36:56,967 --> 00:36:58,677 this is the deal when you get there, 712 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:00,304 you're sequestered, right? 713 00:37:00,345 --> 00:37:02,472 And so you're not really allowed to talk to anybody, you know. 714 00:37:02,514 --> 00:37:04,183 They... they take your phone 715 00:37:04,224 --> 00:37:06,727 and they put you in a hotel room. 716 00:37:06,768 --> 00:37:08,478 They put some tape over the doors, so they... 717 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,647 know they know when anybody's left the room. 718 00:37:10,689 --> 00:37:13,108 And you know, they take out the hotel phone 719 00:37:13,150 --> 00:37:14,860 and they take out the TV 720 00:37:14,902 --> 00:37:17,988 and they take out the bed and they take out... 721 00:37:18,030 --> 00:37:20,324 It's... it's basically like jail. 722 00:37:21,491 --> 00:37:22,701 So I'm sitting in jail. 723 00:37:24,828 --> 00:37:27,456 And, so, there's 13 girls on our season. 724 00:37:27,497 --> 00:37:29,750 For the very first day, there's 13 girls, 725 00:37:29,791 --> 00:37:31,752 and they ask you to step outside your door 726 00:37:31,793 --> 00:37:33,587 and one by one, they come and get you 727 00:37:33,629 --> 00:37:35,547 and take you to the van. 728 00:37:35,589 --> 00:37:37,633 So they ask you if you're ready, wait outside your door for five minutes 729 00:37:37,674 --> 00:37:38,926 and then they take you to the van. 730 00:37:38,967 --> 00:37:40,886 One by one, and they don't want you to talk 731 00:37:40,928 --> 00:37:43,931 because they just want to keep it quiet until the cameras are rolling. 732 00:37:43,972 --> 00:37:45,432 So you get down into the van 733 00:37:45,474 --> 00:37:47,643 and 13 of us are riding to the studio. 734 00:37:47,684 --> 00:37:48,685 That was the first day. 735 00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:50,812 Now, at the end of the first day, 736 00:37:50,854 --> 00:37:53,106 we had a surprise 14th contestant, 737 00:37:54,983 --> 00:37:57,569 So, here's the second day. 738 00:37:58,987 --> 00:38:00,864 Second day comes around and they knock on my door, 739 00:38:00,906 --> 00:38:02,533 "Hey, girl, are you ready to go?" 740 00:38:02,574 --> 00:38:04,326 I'm like, "Yeah, I'll be ready," she's like, 741 00:38:04,368 --> 00:38:05,827 "Stand outside your door, I'll come get you in five minutes." 742 00:38:05,869 --> 00:38:07,829 Okay. I'm outside my door. 743 00:38:08,914 --> 00:38:10,165 Waiting for five minutes. 744 00:38:12,084 --> 00:38:13,043 Twenty minutes. 745 00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:15,420 A hour. 746 00:38:16,630 --> 00:38:18,423 And I'm like, "Damn, 747 00:38:18,465 --> 00:38:21,468 "this is taking a long time." And, of course, I am very paranoid 748 00:38:21,510 --> 00:38:23,595 and I don't want to, like, break any of the rules, 749 00:38:23,637 --> 00:38:26,431 'cause if you, like, break the rules, then they could kick you off the show, right? 750 00:38:26,473 --> 00:38:28,767 So I don't want to get kicked off the show on the second day, 751 00:38:28,809 --> 00:38:31,103 so I'm like, "Just follow the rules, bitch, just keep waiting. 752 00:38:31,144 --> 00:38:32,229 "Just keep waiting." 753 00:38:32,271 --> 00:38:33,772 So, like, a couple hours go by, 754 00:38:33,814 --> 00:38:36,650 and I'm like, "Okay, this is getting kind of long." 755 00:38:36,692 --> 00:38:38,151 [CHUCKLES] So, I, like, 756 00:38:38,777 --> 00:38:39,736 step out... 757 00:38:40,571 --> 00:38:43,240 from my hotel door. 758 00:38:43,282 --> 00:38:45,117 Peeking out. 759 00:38:45,158 --> 00:38:47,828 It was kind of like that, you know, the game floor's lava, you know. 760 00:38:49,204 --> 00:38:51,832 And then I finally, I creep down the hall. 761 00:38:51,874 --> 00:38:54,459 And I'm looking for other hotel rooms with the tape on the door 762 00:38:54,501 --> 00:38:56,587 'cause that's how you know where the other girls are. 763 00:38:56,628 --> 00:38:59,256 So I'm like, "Oh, girl, are you there?" 764 00:38:59,298 --> 00:39:02,759 Nothing. "Hey, girl, it's me. Are you there?" Nothing. 765 00:39:02,801 --> 00:39:06,805 And so finally I go back to my room and I'm like, "This is just too much." 766 00:39:06,847 --> 00:39:10,934 I think they might have forgotten about me. 767 00:39:10,976 --> 00:39:14,313 So I'm like, "Okay, go back to your room, girl. Think, think. 768 00:39:14,354 --> 00:39:17,232 "Maybe I can take a taxi to the studio. 769 00:39:17,274 --> 00:39:19,526 "No, they have my wallet. Okay. 770 00:39:19,568 --> 00:39:21,028 "Maybe I can walk to the studio. 771 00:39:21,069 --> 00:39:23,780 "No, I don't know where the studio is." 772 00:39:23,822 --> 00:39:26,491 'Cause they blindfold you. And I forgot to tell you that. 773 00:39:26,533 --> 00:39:27,659 No, no, they don't. 774 00:39:29,328 --> 00:39:31,788 [ALL LAUGHING] 775 00:39:33,207 --> 00:39:37,294 So I... I finally get up the courage 776 00:39:37,336 --> 00:39:40,088 to go downstairs to the lobby, 777 00:39:40,130 --> 00:39:42,299 and it felt like, you know, I was going into this other world. 778 00:39:42,341 --> 00:39:43,967 There's regular people just walking around the lobby, 779 00:39:44,009 --> 00:39:45,594 minding their business and I'm like... 780 00:39:47,763 --> 00:39:49,223 [GRUNTS] 781 00:39:49,264 --> 00:39:51,141 I go up to the front desk and the woman's like, 782 00:39:51,183 --> 00:39:53,602 "Uh, do you need help?" 783 00:39:53,644 --> 00:39:55,687 And I was like, "Yes, please. 784 00:39:59,233 --> 00:40:00,734 "Do you know who I am?" 785 00:40:00,776 --> 00:40:02,319 She didn't know who I was. 786 00:40:02,361 --> 00:40:03,529 I was like, "I'm with the show." 787 00:40:03,570 --> 00:40:04,613 She's like, "What show?" 788 00:40:05,781 --> 00:40:06,907 I was like, "Oh, my God." 789 00:40:08,575 --> 00:40:10,661 So I say, "Listen, 790 00:40:10,702 --> 00:40:13,205 "Can I use your phone?" 791 00:40:13,247 --> 00:40:15,958 She's like, "Yes". So eventually, I get the number, 792 00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:17,668 and I called the producers. 793 00:40:17,709 --> 00:40:20,087 I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm going to call... Oh, my God." 794 00:40:20,128 --> 00:40:21,547 [IMITATES PHONE] Tring, tring! 795 00:40:21,588 --> 00:40:24,007 "Hello, World of Wonder. 796 00:40:25,717 --> 00:40:27,052 "Hi, this is Peppermint." 797 00:40:27,094 --> 00:40:29,513 "Peppermint, what are you doing on the phone?" 798 00:40:29,555 --> 00:40:32,099 "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just... 799 00:40:32,140 --> 00:40:33,767 "I'm at the hotel and... 800 00:40:33,809 --> 00:40:35,519 "I don't know if I should wait or should I go to my room or... 801 00:40:35,561 --> 00:40:36,728 "I mean, I'm still here. 802 00:40:36,770 --> 00:40:39,898 "Did you notice that I'm not there?" 803 00:40:42,359 --> 00:40:44,945 And she's like, "Oh, my God, stay there. 804 00:40:45,571 --> 00:40:46,864 "Don't move. 805 00:40:46,905 --> 00:40:48,156 "We're coming to get you. 806 00:40:48,198 --> 00:40:50,367 "And you better be there when we get there. 807 00:40:50,409 --> 00:40:52,870 "And when we get there, you better be there." 808 00:40:53,704 --> 00:40:55,414 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 809 00:41:01,211 --> 00:41:02,796 So I go back and I wait. 810 00:41:03,505 --> 00:41:05,507 For another hour. 811 00:41:05,549 --> 00:41:08,093 I'm like, "Good grief, this is taking a long time." 812 00:41:08,135 --> 00:41:09,720 And so... 813 00:41:09,761 --> 00:41:11,263 During that hour, I start remembering 814 00:41:11,305 --> 00:41:14,433 all the things that happened in that TV show, UnREAL. 815 00:41:16,268 --> 00:41:18,478 Like, "Oh, my God." 816 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,564 So eventually, there's a knock at the door. 817 00:41:22,566 --> 00:41:23,775 And I opened the door. 818 00:41:23,817 --> 00:41:25,777 She's like, "Hey, you ready to go?" 819 00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:27,487 And I was like, "Yes." 820 00:41:34,578 --> 00:41:36,455 So we go down to the car. 821 00:41:36,496 --> 00:41:37,456 We're sitting there. 822 00:41:39,416 --> 00:41:41,084 She's like, "Would you like some gum?" 823 00:41:41,126 --> 00:41:42,711 I'm like, "No, I'm good, I'm good." 824 00:41:45,214 --> 00:41:47,090 So we drive to the studio. 825 00:41:49,092 --> 00:41:51,637 And I'm like, "Just get me to the studio. 826 00:41:51,678 --> 00:41:54,264 "Get me in with the rest of the cast, right? 827 00:41:54,306 --> 00:41:55,307 "Just get me in there." 828 00:41:56,975 --> 00:41:58,393 And the studio's on the right. 829 00:41:58,435 --> 00:42:00,896 The car goes to the left. 830 00:42:00,938 --> 00:42:04,441 I'm like, "What in the hell is going on up in here?" 831 00:42:04,483 --> 00:42:07,986 And they take me in the building and put me in a private room 832 00:42:08,028 --> 00:42:09,488 by myself. 833 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:13,575 For about another hour. 834 00:42:13,617 --> 00:42:16,828 I'm like, "Okay, they are about halfway through the day. 835 00:42:16,870 --> 00:42:18,622 "They have to know that I'm not there. 836 00:42:20,958 --> 00:42:22,334 "Do they know that I'm not there? 837 00:42:23,377 --> 00:42:25,754 "Were they planning this?" 838 00:42:25,796 --> 00:42:28,674 And then my imagination starts going wild. Like... 839 00:42:28,715 --> 00:42:31,301 This is one of those challenge where RuPaul comes and says, 840 00:42:31,343 --> 00:42:34,137 "Today, we're going to learn the dangers of not being on time." 841 00:42:36,598 --> 00:42:39,017 Peppermint, sashay away. 842 00:42:39,059 --> 00:42:40,602 That's what I thought was going to happen. 843 00:42:44,982 --> 00:42:46,900 So I'm highly paranoid. 844 00:42:48,068 --> 00:42:49,778 And a producer comes in 845 00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:52,322 and he talks to me, and he just wants to make sure I'm okay. 846 00:42:52,364 --> 00:42:53,824 And he's like, 847 00:42:53,866 --> 00:42:56,994 "How are you today?" And I'm like, "I'm... fine." 848 00:42:59,121 --> 00:43:00,080 [LAUGHS] 849 00:43:00,747 --> 00:43:03,876 "Ready to go." 850 00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:05,878 And he's like, "We just want to make sure that you're okay. 851 00:43:05,919 --> 00:43:07,004 "We take that very seriously." 852 00:43:07,045 --> 00:43:09,006 They really did feel very bad 853 00:43:09,047 --> 00:43:10,465 about what... About what happened. 854 00:43:12,217 --> 00:43:15,971 And so later on I find out that, you know, 855 00:43:16,013 --> 00:43:18,265 [EXHALES] The person who drove us in the morning 856 00:43:18,307 --> 00:43:20,601 was expecting 13 heads in the van, 857 00:43:20,642 --> 00:43:22,769 and because we had an extra girl, 858 00:43:22,811 --> 00:43:24,646 there was 13 heads in the van, 859 00:43:24,688 --> 00:43:26,607 and so I get left behind. 860 00:43:26,648 --> 00:43:29,818 And since it was... the very early in the situation, 861 00:43:29,860 --> 00:43:32,946 nobody had gotten to know who I was yet. And so, 862 00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:36,408 that bitch got fired. [LAUGHS] 863 00:43:36,450 --> 00:43:37,826 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 864 00:43:38,785 --> 00:43:40,579 I'm eliminating you. 865 00:43:45,709 --> 00:43:46,960 Uh... 866 00:43:47,002 --> 00:43:48,504 Well, that's the show, y'all. 867 00:43:50,005 --> 00:43:51,965 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 868 00:43:53,675 --> 00:43:56,303 But before... before I finish, 869 00:43:58,972 --> 00:44:00,557 There's something I like to do 870 00:44:00,599 --> 00:44:02,100 with my live audiences. 871 00:44:04,895 --> 00:44:06,730 Shut off the lights. No, just kidding. 872 00:44:12,444 --> 00:44:14,696 That's not this show. That's the next show. 873 00:44:17,032 --> 00:44:19,284 I, uh, I like to do something that I used to do 874 00:44:19,326 --> 00:44:22,579 in all my nightclub shows here in New York, 875 00:44:22,621 --> 00:44:24,915 and basically... [CLEARS THROAT] 876 00:44:24,957 --> 00:44:28,085 write a rap and perform it on stage, live. 877 00:44:28,126 --> 00:44:29,962 Would you like me to do that with y'all? 878 00:44:30,003 --> 00:44:31,630 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 879 00:44:36,718 --> 00:44:38,971 Okay, so this is what we're going to do. 880 00:44:39,012 --> 00:44:40,973 I need three words from the audience. 881 00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:42,057 Somebody give me a word. 882 00:44:42,099 --> 00:44:43,809 -MAN: Fuck! -[INDISTINCT] 883 00:44:43,851 --> 00:44:44,810 Wait, wait, y'all. 884 00:44:46,228 --> 00:44:48,063 Okay? You said fuck. Fuck! 885 00:44:48,105 --> 00:44:49,565 What else? Someone from over here. 886 00:44:50,941 --> 00:44:52,776 Weed. Okay, definitely high. 887 00:44:52,818 --> 00:44:53,777 Okay. 888 00:44:54,903 --> 00:44:57,030 Wasn't even enthusiastic about it. 889 00:44:57,072 --> 00:44:58,615 "Weed." 890 00:44:58,657 --> 00:45:01,535 Okay. That's what you said, right? Weed? 891 00:45:01,577 --> 00:45:04,204 Okay, weed, fuck, one more, okay, give... 892 00:45:05,289 --> 00:45:06,915 Wait. What'd you say? 893 00:45:06,957 --> 00:45:08,125 Wait, say it, in the back row? 894 00:45:08,166 --> 00:45:09,668 [INDISTINCT] 895 00:45:09,710 --> 00:45:10,752 Icon. 896 00:45:11,503 --> 00:45:13,630 Icon. Okay, I like icon. 897 00:45:14,256 --> 00:45:15,299 So we have fuck, 898 00:45:15,966 --> 00:45:18,135 weed and icon. 899 00:45:19,803 --> 00:45:21,763 Okay, I'ma write a song. 900 00:45:21,805 --> 00:45:24,474 A rap right now. Fuck, weed and icon. 901 00:45:24,516 --> 00:45:25,893 Okay, so this is what we gotta do. 902 00:45:25,934 --> 00:45:27,811 Those are the three words, okay? 903 00:45:27,853 --> 00:45:30,689 We're going to start a beat in a minute, and I'm going to write a rap 904 00:45:30,731 --> 00:45:32,983 with... using the words fuck, 905 00:45:33,025 --> 00:45:34,818 weed and icon, okay? 906 00:45:34,860 --> 00:45:38,614 And all I got to do is rhyme the words into the song, okay? 907 00:45:38,655 --> 00:45:40,157 Fuck, weed and icon. 908 00:45:40,199 --> 00:45:42,117 Fuck, weed and icon. 909 00:45:43,035 --> 00:45:44,828 Weed, icon, icon. 910 00:45:48,081 --> 00:45:49,625 Okay. 911 00:45:49,666 --> 00:45:52,085 Now, listen, if I... If I... 912 00:45:52,127 --> 00:45:54,213 If I do all those words in the song, 913 00:45:54,254 --> 00:45:56,006 that means I won, okay? 914 00:45:57,591 --> 00:45:58,800 I won the night. 915 00:46:01,929 --> 00:46:04,431 Okay, DJ, stick it in. 916 00:46:04,473 --> 00:46:06,183 [HIP-HOP INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] 917 00:46:08,810 --> 00:46:09,853 ♪ Peppermint 918 00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:15,234 ♪ Freestyle 919 00:46:20,531 --> 00:46:22,407 Fuck, weed and icon. 920 00:46:25,911 --> 00:46:28,455 ♪ I was walking down the street just the other day 921 00:46:28,497 --> 00:46:31,500 ♪ I was with my girl, Yaharame 922 00:46:31,542 --> 00:46:33,961 ♪ We looked real good, we looked real fine 923 00:46:34,002 --> 00:46:36,797 ♪ We was going to the club about a quarter to nine 924 00:46:36,839 --> 00:46:39,800 ♪ We pull up to the joint, feeling so right 925 00:46:39,842 --> 00:46:41,009 ♪ Look and feel good 926 00:46:41,051 --> 00:46:42,594 ♪ Hair on tight 927 00:46:42,636 --> 00:46:45,639 ♪ Oh, my God, what's your weave on? 928 00:46:45,681 --> 00:46:48,225 ♪ You look like a motherfucking icon ♪ 929 00:46:48,267 --> 00:46:49,643 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 930 00:46:50,936 --> 00:46:52,938 That was all right, that was all right. 931 00:46:52,980 --> 00:46:55,232 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 932 00:46:58,318 --> 00:46:59,736 What's the other... 933 00:46:59,778 --> 00:47:00,946 Wait. That was icon. 934 00:47:01,613 --> 00:47:03,699 Weed and fuck. Okay. 935 00:47:04,783 --> 00:47:06,451 Let's wait for the chorus part. 936 00:47:10,914 --> 00:47:13,876 ♪ On the dance floor, feeling real good, real cute 937 00:47:13,917 --> 00:47:16,503 ♪ I got a black leather suit 938 00:47:16,545 --> 00:47:19,131 ♪ Forgot the word already, oh, luck ♪ 939 00:47:21,508 --> 00:47:23,010 Fuck! No. [LAUGHS] 940 00:47:24,970 --> 00:47:28,140 If you listen, I did rhyme it. I said "Oh, luck." 941 00:47:28,182 --> 00:47:30,100 Fuck. I got it. I got it. 942 00:47:31,018 --> 00:47:32,477 Okay. Okay. 943 00:47:32,895 --> 00:47:33,854 A weed. 944 00:47:34,730 --> 00:47:35,689 Okay, I got this one. 945 00:47:36,773 --> 00:47:38,233 Okay, let me get into it. 946 00:47:46,700 --> 00:47:48,452 ♪ Mmm 947 00:47:49,328 --> 00:47:51,705 ♪ Hmm 948 00:47:51,747 --> 00:47:52,998 ♪ Hmm mmm 949 00:47:54,791 --> 00:47:57,920 ♪ In the car, on the way home 950 00:47:57,961 --> 00:48:00,631 ♪ Going home, alone 951 00:48:00,672 --> 00:48:03,383 ♪ That's all right, I don't care 952 00:48:03,425 --> 00:48:05,552 ♪ I still got real good hair 953 00:48:07,179 --> 00:48:09,681 ♪ Radio on, feeling so cute 954 00:48:09,723 --> 00:48:11,016 ♪ My favorite song 955 00:48:11,934 --> 00:48:13,644 ♪ Look, you're the breed 956 00:48:14,978 --> 00:48:16,939 ♪ Let's smoke some weed 957 00:48:16,980 --> 00:48:19,024 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 958 00:48:20,234 --> 00:48:22,444 Thank you all so much. 959 00:48:22,486 --> 00:48:24,279 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 960 00:48:41,088 --> 00:48:42,673 Y'all are the best. Thank you so much. 961 00:48:42,714 --> 00:48:45,092 Good night! 962 00:48:46,385 --> 00:48:48,303 [AUDIENCE CHEERING]