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00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,256
MEDITATION GUIDE: (OVER SPEAKER)
Now allow your mind and body
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00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:11,260
to be still as we take
a purifying breath in...
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00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,054
- (INHALES)
- GUIDE: ....and out.
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00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:15,597
♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,725
GUIDE:
And again, calming breath in...
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00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,518
releasing out.
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00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,437
- One more breath in...
- (CELL PHONE BUZZING)
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00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,023
GUIDE: ...and out.
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00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,109
Allow any tensions
in your body to--
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00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,110
- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
- What?
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00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,361
JAZ: Dan, the new producer
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00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,155
just called
an emergency meeting.
13
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,700
Emergency meeting
is in 25 minutes.
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00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,161
Great! Fuck. Terrible. Bye.
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00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,538
- ♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC RESUMES) ♪
- GUIDE: ...to gently float away
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00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:43,083
as we go again, in and out.
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00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,128
- Can you feel the tension
just melting away?
- ♪ (INTENSE MUSIC OVERLAPPING) ♪
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00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,838
- (CAR HORN HONKING)
- (SCREAMS)
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00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,757
God, these scripts are heavy.
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00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,967
Probably because
they're so great.
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00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:55,220
Emergency all-hands.
I hope it's not a firing squad.
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00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,764
Are you worried
it's a firing squad?
23
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,140
Literally never crossed my mind.
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00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,975
Smart. Don't overthink it.
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00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,311
Like the script.
If anything, underthink it.
26
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,520
I've seen it
a million times, Dag.
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00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,647
Speed up, spend less, yada.
It's just the biz.
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00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,983
The biz.
Like short for business.
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00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,151
Did you coin that?
30
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,486
I've literally
never heard that before.
31
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,488
Pre-dawn emergency meeting?
32
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,655
Am I to be stripped and flogged
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00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:15,157
in front of my fucking props
department?
34
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,326
And if it's a spanking,
in a breakout room, please.
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00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,370
- Breakout spanking.
- Look, Eric, this is good.
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00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,789
It shows she's invested
in the movie. In your vision.
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00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,040
JAZ: Meeting's cancelled.
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New producer just cancelled it.
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00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,377
DANIEL: Sorry, what?
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00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,380
DAG: Mind games. Bravo.
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00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,506
ERIC: What is happening, Daniel?
42
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,216
Guys, it's called ghosting.
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Game recognize game?
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(CONFUSED CHATTER)
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All right, listen up.
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00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,680
(CHATTER STOPS)
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00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,224
DANIEL: Do not panic.
48
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,850
It's a stunt day,
big technical day,
49
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,687
and we're gonna execute this
and show her how good we are.
50
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,731
We're craftspeople,
our director's a visionary.
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Forward cinema!
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- (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
- Thank you.
53
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,488
Should we be clapping?
54
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,448
Stephanie,
bring my buggy around.
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00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,283
And arrange me
a rapid response haircut.
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00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,368
This is serious.
57
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,703
Dan, would now be a good time
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00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,037
to talk about
career progressions?
59
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,289
Everything's exploding
at a million miles an hour
60
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:07,251
and the movie is a scrotum
resting on a razor's edge.
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00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,086
Got it. So maybe like
in an hour?
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00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,714
Daniel. (CHUCKLES)
Hey, what's happening?
63
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,048
It's all good, mate.
It's all good.
64
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,675
Great, mate, great.
What's happening?
65
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,260
Yeah, no, it's all great.
We're just forwards.
66
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,594
Yeah, but what is happening?
67
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:19,263
Like literally,
what is happening?
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00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,848
New producer,
are we being X-rayed?
69
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,016
Absolutely not.
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00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,559
Because X-ray shows up
something weird,
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00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,643
you cut out the tumor,
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00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,228
and you replace it
with Kit Harington.
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00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,105
- Or one of the Skarsgårds.
- Which one?
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00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:30,107
- I don't mind.
- DANIEL: Adam, mate,
this is not about you.
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00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,609
It has nothing to do
with my body shape?
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00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,695
I know I Dorito-ed myself.
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00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,113
Dorito-ed myself, bigger on top,
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00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,406
tapering down to a skinnier leg.
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00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,949
But please tell our new producer
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00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,118
that I am prioritizing
squats and lunges.
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00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,911
Dude, the studio
loves your legs.
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00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:45,414
Oh, high fives
for that guy's thighs.
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00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,666
Great, 'cause don't believe
everything you read online,
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00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,834
especially WikiLegs.
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00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,086
- Do not look up that site.
- Morning, cunts.
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00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,755
- Hello.
- Headlamps on,
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00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,631
ready for another day
down the gold mine.
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00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,842
Yes, Peter.
All right, let's go. Okay.
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00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,262
Poor pathetic little prick.
Holding it together,
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00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,056
but he knows.
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00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,183
New producer airdrops in.
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00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,769
He's auditioning for his job.
You all are.
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00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,146
But obviously not me.
I'm just number two.
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00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,273
Call sheet and my mother agree.
95
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,901
I'm second best.
See you out there, number one.
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00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,903
Just so you're hearing it
so that you've heard it,
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00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,280
new producer is cancelling
80 of our Moss Men for today.
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00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,740
DAG: Mind games part two. Boom.
99
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,617
Uh, okay.
She's sending a message.
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00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,119
How much can we take
before we squeal?
101
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,329
Scrooge McFuck.
102
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,831
So how many extras do we have
for the big crowd shot now?
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00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,166
- Five.
- (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
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00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,292
Eric's not gonna like that.
105
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,835
I'm not gonna like that.
I don't like that.
106
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:34,255
Great. I'll let the trades know.
107
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Rude.
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♪ (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
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(BELL RINGING)
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Stunt day! All eyeballs on me.
Will he make it? Will he cave?
112
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,984
Will an actual man die?
113
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,404
Yes, no, and no.
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00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,488
Everyone's freaking out, Dag.
115
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,824
Watch as I neutralize
the mass panic.
116
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,075
Xanax Man.
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00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,494
I'm being asked to remind you,
Peter's spine.
118
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,955
He's only good for
three launches, contractually.
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00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,373
Okay, three goes!
120
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,001
Peter's spine is good
for three goes.
121
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,669
Peter's spinal X-rays,
if that helps.
122
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,671
It doesn't. Back in your box,
please, Bryson.
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00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:16,839
Eric, sir.
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00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,383
Loving the haircut.
A sharp cut for a sharp mind.
125
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,636
Daniel, I stayed up
till 5:00 a.m.
126
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,847
redrawing storyboards
for the Jackhammer escape.
127
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,933
Eric, don't panic.
We're going to hold the course.
128
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,351
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
129
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,854
"A crowd of Moss People
stretch to the horizon."
130
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,107
Daniel, I have five.
131
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,526
- And it's bullshit.
- I'll make it work, okay?
132
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,445
I'm going to make a crowd
of five look like 5,000.
133
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,572
Loaves and fishes,
but for people.
134
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,408
- Loaves and people.
- Very nice.
135
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,617
"The director's cut."
136
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,829
It's funnier every time.
Thank you, Stephanie.
137
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,248
Hello. Number two
checking in for business.
138
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,001
So how are you
up on the wires, number one?
139
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,377
(GROANS)
Wonderful. Thank you, Peter.
140
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,589
Because one can look flaccid
if one's not careful,
141
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,758
bobbing around
like astronaut cock.
142
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,885
Well, my movement coach
is from Zagreb's
143
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,347
- foremost ballet, so...
- How many ballets do they have?
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00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,264
Uh...
145
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,474
Ready?
146
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,933
Uh, question on Mollusk Man.
147
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,061
It's five minutes
each time he needs the bathroom.
148
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,522
So we could fit him with a bag
or we do the diaper.
149
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,399
- Diaper?
- JAKY: Nappy. The adult nappy.
150
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,902
We've checked and they do come
in his size from Belgium.
151
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,571
- Big, big diaper.
- Sounds like my kind of diaper.
152
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,615
- (CHUCKLES)
- Less comfortable
and it will limit
153
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,867
his range of movement,
especially when sodden.
154
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,452
Plus only a 300-dollar saving.
155
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,496
Less pleasant for
all involved, the diaper, no?
156
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,414
It's a saving in terms
of playing ball.
157
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,291
Shows we're not afraid
to make the tough decisions.
158
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,417
For labor reasons,
159
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:38,087
Shane can't know about
the diaper but off the record...
160
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,089
Okay, let's have him diapered.
161
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,757
Happy to nappy.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
162
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,967
"I'm ready for my diaper,
Mr. DeMille."
163
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,720
(LAUGHS) Very good.
164
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,264
- Okay, stunt rehearsal.
- Yeah.
165
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,600
Stunt rehearsal,
everyone on their A-game.
166
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,478
Remember we are top-drawer
professionals, thank you.
167
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,604
- ADAM: Let's do it!
- Eric, sir.
168
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,440
Okay. And so...
169
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,610
"The Jackhammer Escape."
Moss Men swarm.
170
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,696
Tecto produces
his Invisible Jackhammer
171
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,489
and both of you
blast off to freedom.
172
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,366
Running in the
Invisible Jackhammer.
173
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,952
(GASPS SOFTLY)
Two words, no words.
174
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,245
Third word, wow.
175
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,789
- (EXHALES SHARPLY)
- (KNOCKING)
176
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,834
ADAM: Great. (EXHALES SHARPLY)
177
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,670
My God, I am so blessed.
178
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,965
Front row seats
for the Invisible Jackhammer.
179
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,844
Standing here,
watching you jacking off.
180
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,305
Yeah. Uh, do-- do you have
the concept art?
181
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,391
Absolutely.
182
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,979
Great, and how...
how invisible is this thing?
183
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,565
It's totally invisible.
Obviously, you will see it.
184
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,275
Okay, I got it.
185
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,111
I'm sorry, I don't got it. Um...
186
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,155
It's like an air wobble.
187
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,657
It would be nothing,
but solid, yes?
188
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,325
Okay, no, no.
189
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:54,121
It's the outline, like glass.
190
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:57,709
Yes, but is glass invisible?
191
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,254
My dog once walked into
a patio door, if that helps.
192
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,130
Is it okay?
193
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,381
PETER: Shh, quiet, please.
194
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,593
Number one is pretending
to be on a drill,
195
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,677
which is invisible.
196
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,720
Hey, props.
197
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:13,140
Props, can I have my
Tecto Sonic Blockers?
198
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,391
JAZ: Locating Sonic Blockers.
199
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,517
CREW: Locating Sonic Blockers!
200
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,769
Are you sure about this?
201
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,771
- The Invisible Jackhammer?
- (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
202
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,856
I thought it would look cool,
but it doesn't.
203
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,776
Well, that's invaluable input,
Mr. Spielberg. Thank you.
204
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,361
Running in Sonic Blockers.
205
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,987
Thanks.
206
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,238
I'm going to say something.
Excuse me?
207
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,366
I will genuinely
incapacitate you.
208
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,201
Yeah, just need
a second with it.
209
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,577
- ERIC: Yeah, the hair.
- Hair.
210
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,204
- ERIC: Fix the hair.
- Hair. Fix the hair.
211
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,372
JAZ: Fixing the hair.
212
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,748
If they're doing
something wrong,
213
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:38,999
surely we have to say.
214
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,251
No, Dag, we don't have
an opinion, okay?
215
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,754
We just keep the trains running.
Who cares what's on them?
216
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,381
Potatoes, Christmas presents.
217
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,799
Dissidents, trafficked children.
218
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,634
That's not what it is though,
is it?
219
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,511
Ours is not to reason why, Dag.
220
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,887
Can I at least have
some headphones
221
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,013
- so that I can hear?
- Headphones?
222
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,848
- Are you for fucking real?
- JAZ: Still fixing the hair.
223
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,642
I didn't get my first pair
of headphones for six years.
224
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,726
Okay.
225
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:58,894
DANIEL: You see Mike,
the gaffer?
226
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,521
He worked on
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
227
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:03,023
Hasn't heard a single word
of dialogue his entire career.
228
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,358
Well, that's sad.
229
00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:05,651
- Poor Mike.
- Yeah, well,
230
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,152
it's heartbreaking,
but it's the biz.
231
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,570
- JAZ: Hair's fixed.
- CREW: Hair's fixed.
232
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,864
DANIEL: Okay, stunt rehearsal!
233
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,492
"Surrounded on all sides,
234
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,744
Tecto activates
his Invisible Jackhammer,
235
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,496
drilling down into the earth."
236
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,124
- ♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (GRUNTS)
237
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,292
(IMITATES JACKHAMMER)
238
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:22,961
"Tecto grabs Eye,
239
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:27,423
and the force shoots them
into the air like a rocket."
240
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,801
Cue Moss Men and action stunt!
241
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,136
ADAM: It's hammer time!
242
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,931
- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
- (MACHINE WHIRRING)
243
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,018
ADAM: Warp speed, baby!
244
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,271
- PETER: What are you doing?
- ADAM: No one called "cut."
245
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,816
Not for me to say,
but shouldn't that be faster?
246
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,610
- Shane is expecting warp speed.
- ERIC: Okay, cut!
247
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,279
JAZ: The winch
has to roll itself out,
248
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,072
15 meters to go.
249
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,782
PETER: I've been
in motorized bath chairs
250
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,035
faster than this.
251
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,580
ADAM: Eric! Hey, Eric!
Any notes for me?
252
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,665
So, I've been talking to Chris.
253
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,459
Did I tell you
that I've been talking to Chris?
254
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,626
Couple of times, yeah, yeah.
255
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,253
It's very cool
how you're friends with him now.
256
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,130
He writes me
these beautiful letters.
257
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,965
Longhand.
258
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,343
Chris, always Chris,
never Christopher.
259
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,013
- Chris Nolan.
- Wow, that's great for you.
260
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,182
So great, anyway.
261
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,017
Yeah, well, my point is...
262
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,728
how would Chris make sense
of the Invisible Jackhammer?
263
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,731
So yes. I want this. This here.
264
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,483
Talk to our new producer,
265
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:30,362
get me my 80 extras,
or I will not shoot, yeah?
266
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,989
(SIGHS) So tough,
isn't it? The biz.
267
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,908
Dag, I'm going to get
this stunt if it kills me
268
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,451
and everyone involved
in this production.
269
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,911
Dan, I've got
Health and Safety for you.
270
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,829
Welcome!
Thank you, Health and Safety.
271
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,041
Onwards, with caution.
(CLEARS THROAT)
272
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,626
JAZ:
Adam's gone back to his trailer.
273
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,879
DANIEL: Course he has.
Send in Xanax Man.
274
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,218
Adam, sir.
275
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,886
- Hey.
- DANIEL: We need you
back on set, mate.
276
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,846
What's up?
Just give me a second.
277
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:58,847
Yeah.
278
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:02,769
Um, will you
just be straight with me?
279
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,233
Do you buy me as a guy who can
make earthquakes happen?
280
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,402
Earthquakes, yes.
281
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,153
Absolutely.
282
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,031
Absolutely, 100 percent, okay?
283
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:16,950
All right?
284
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,660
We done? Cool.
285
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:23,205
It's just so wild, you know,
I gave up my dog to be here.
286
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,749
- Like a top-of-the-line dog.
- Oh, really? Top-of-the-line?
287
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,584
Yeah. I just... (SIGHS)
288
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,253
I need you to be real with me.
289
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,796
Like, as a... as a friend.
290
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,548
One of my closest friends, actually.
291
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,425
Oh, Adam, I'm... I'm flattered.
292
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,760
What do you think?
Like, really, really think
293
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,596
about the Invisible Jackhammer?
294
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:45,310
Honestly, I think
295
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,106
the Invisible Jackhammer
is fucking badass.
296
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,401
DANIEL: Mm. Mm-hmm.
297
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,736
I'm not gonna look
like an asshole up there?
298
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:54,821
DANIEL: No, look.
299
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,158
I feel fucking excellent. Okay?
300
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,744
Anyone can do fucking... Ibsen.
301
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,120
When you're flying
through the air
302
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,372
on a jackhammer made
of sound waves,
303
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,541
- you look awesome.
- Really?
304
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:10,252
You look brilliant.
You're a genius.
305
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:13,213
In my opinion, the greatest
actor who ever lived.
306
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,257
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- Uh...
307
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,760
No, I'm not. Like-- (SCOFFS)
308
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,012
Don't make me repeat myself
because I won't.
309
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,930
It's just Peter.
He's fucking with me.
310
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,349
He's fucking with my head.
It's like...
311
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,101
He's trying to undermine me
in front of the new producer.
312
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,978
It's, like, maybe
the call sheet thing,
313
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,439
or 'cause I'm number one
and he doesn't like it?
314
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,025
You know, he's making faces,
unscripted faces, and like--
315
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,443
DANIEL: Okay,
I'm gonna talk to him. I will.
316
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,028
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah.
317
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,446
You're so good at your job.
318
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,698
You know,
I might have lost a dog,
319
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,326
but I think I gained one too.
320
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,787
Oh, me? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Woof, woof.
321
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,288
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
322
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,791
Yeah. All right.
323
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,044
Daniel the Spaniel! (CHUCKLES)
324
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,672
Thanks.
325
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,889
Oh, don't mind me. I'm just
poking through your stuff.
326
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,016
If that's cool.
327
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,602
Movies, movies, movies.
328
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,813
Someone's a movie buff.
329
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,980
Shrink wrap?
330
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,649
Yeah, well, one day
when all this is done,
331
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,818
maybe I'll get to listen
to the director's commentary
332
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,195
on Eraserhead.
333
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,531
DAG: My God, dare to dream.
334
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,325
Okay,
I've got a question for you.
335
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,745
Have you ever thought,
"Am I killing cinema?"
336
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,372
Genuinely never
thought about it.
337
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,791
DAG: Because the, uh,
Invisible Jackhammer
338
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,335
got me thinking,
what if you are?
339
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,504
What if this isn't
a dream factory?
340
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,506
What if it's an abattoir,
you know?
341
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,675
And we've all got blood
on our hands
342
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,677
and fatty tissue on our faces
343
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,637
and we're sat here,
you know, eating sandwiches?
344
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,639
Dag, can you just stop talking?
Peck, peck, pecking away
345
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,683
like a fucking
question chicken, okay?
346
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,351
I'm happy to share my valuable
industry insights
347
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,353
and years of accumulated wisdom,
but I just...
348
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,981
Sorry for shouting.
I just need to figure out
349
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,524
how I'm going
to execute this stunt
350
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,900
before I lose my job.
351
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,903
Sorry. Thank you, I'm sorry.
352
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,574
I filled up your water bottle.
353
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,414
Well, that's really nice.
354
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,874
And you've made me look
like a prick.
355
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:12,917
Sorry.
356
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,426
Look, you seem really smart.
357
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:22,885
You're here now.
358
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,428
We're going to be
working together. That's great.
359
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:27,931
I just need you to
use your initiative, yeah?
360
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:31,894
Anita's got everyone panicked.
Like dogs in a washing machine.
361
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:35,356
Mm. Crazy idea. Why don't you
go and talk to her?
362
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,566
(CHUCKLES)
363
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,528
(SMACKS LIPS) Oh.
364
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,490
Bit of fun.
365
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,160
Yeah, that was Jim.
Third AD before you.
366
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,080
He threw that up there
before he killed himself.
367
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,248
(LAUGHS)
368
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,087
DANIEL: You know what? Fuck it.
369
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:02,717
ANITA: Enter.
370
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,389
Dan, hi. Good to see you.
371
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,307
Um...
372
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,517
Um...
373
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,727
- Eric wants his Moss--
- I'm so sorry
about this morning.
374
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,105
The emergency meeting,
the no-show.
375
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,357
Hope it didn't bump.
376
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,068
Nah, nah. Barely noticed really.
377
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,946
- Cool beans.
- ANITA: Great. Uh,
378
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,657
and I just wanted to make sure
things aren't gonna be
379
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,617
- weird between us.
- Anita, why would they be weird?
380
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,619
Because we were fucking
pretty successfully
381
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,496
for about six months
and then I started fucking
382
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,498
a very famous Australian actor
behind your back
383
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,458
and now I'm your boss?
384
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,836
I mean, I don't... I don't even
think about that stuff anymore.
385
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:41,463
Phew! (LAUGHS)
What a relief, because, um,
386
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,008
I may need to ream you out
in front of everyone.
387
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,342
Well, you can't shout
at the director,
388
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,593
so hit this bitch, right?
389
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,430
- Yeah, a hanging
in the town square.
- A hanging. A hanging?
390
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:52,141
A beating. A flogging. A...
391
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,768
- forensic crucifixion.
- Could we settle on a metaphor?
392
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:57,438
It serves two purposes.
One, spreads fear. Yum.
393
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,189
- Two, it buries the lede
about you and me.
- Okay, sure.
394
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,858
Because it would be very bad
if people knew we were...
395
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,152
Yeah, it's all right.
You can burn me.
396
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,821
I'm a human sacrifice.
I'm the Wicker Man!
397
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,072
Wicker Dan!
398
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,657
Is that shitty?
Is that bad friending?
399
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,160
(CLICKS TONGUE) Um...
400
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:13,747
- (CHUCKLES)
- Okay, look.
401
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,749
I need something in return.
402
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,335
Spread your fear, but
I need to sprinkle some hope.
403
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:22,212
Eric is demanding
his Moss Men back.
404
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,340
Hm. Can't do it, Daniel.
Need to show strength.
405
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,884
But I will grab you
for the hanging.
406
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,511
Yeah? Cool beans?
407
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,641
- Yes. The coolest of beans.
- ANITA: Hm.
408
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,227
DANIEL: Very fucking
uncool beans, Dag.
409
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,230
I'm about to get
hung out to dry.
410
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,524
Peter, sir? Do me a favor.
411
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,942
Um, can you go easy on Adam?
412
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,737
Oh my God. Have I done
something to upset him?
413
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:49,156
Christ, what a mess.
414
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,367
If there's anything I can do
in terms of the call sheet?
415
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,826
Call sheet? Please.
416
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,037
Not on my account.
I'm very low maintenance.
417
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:59,458
Now get that through your thick
fucking skull, Daniel.
418
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,543
Dan, new producer's asking
if this could be a good time
419
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,212
- to tear you a new one?
- Um...
420
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,047
Could she maybe not
in front of the crewmen?
421
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,508
Because they once
saw me applying hand lotion.
422
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,551
and, um, it didn't end well.
423
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,220
ANITA: Okay,
where's my first AD?
424
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,721
DANIEL: Happening anyway.
425
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:13,972
Hi, Daniel, nice to meet you.
426
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,350
Uh, can I just ask
why the fuck aren't we rolling?
427
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,852
- DANIEL: Um...
- ANITA: Oh, Eric!
Maestro, come on over!
428
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,896
I'm just trying to figure out
why your first AD here
429
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,064
is not taking care of you.
430
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,525
Ah. (CLICKS TONGUE)
Please go ahead.
431
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,902
ANITA: So, your director
is talking to the actors
432
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,697
for 52 minutes on average
before take one.
433
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,241
- ERIC: Yes, I am.
- ANITA: No disrespect to Eric,
who we love,
434
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,868
but you should not be allowing
him to do that much talking.
435
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,328
I need boundaries, Daniel.
436
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,414
Boundaries so he can
knock them down.
437
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,416
- Thank you, Steph.
- If this is a pile-on,
I should dial Shane.
438
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,918
Eleven setups per day,
which he will ask for
439
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,753
- because he's a visionary.
- No, please.
440
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,964
I'm sorry, but what the fuck
are you thinking?
441
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,882
BRYSON: Shane, hi.
Shellacking the first AD.
442
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,759
ANITA: You need to start
running things, Daniel.
443
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,721
It can feel
a little sloppy here sometimes.
444
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,097
DAG: It does sound like
a lot of setups
445
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,598
- when you hear it out loud.
- DANIEL: Yeah, cheers, Dag.
446
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,766
ANITA:
What the fuck are you doing?
447
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,768
BRYSON: Pat, sir?
We're apportioning blame
over here.
448
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,186
DAG: Oh no,
now the angry man's coming.
449
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,147
Dinner and a show,
don't mind if I do.
450
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:06,442
- You fucked up, son,
and now you gotta eat it.
- PAT: Oh-ho-ho!
451
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:09,153
ANITA: You need to be riding
this man like a stallion.
452
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,113
- Like a stallion.
- DAG: Ride him like a stallion.
453
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,364
But ride gently, okay?
454
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,783
And when you beat him,
carrot, not stick.
455
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,827
- (FORCED LAUGH)
- Hey, this isn't a witch hunt.
456
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,620
Well, I want to know why
it's not a witch hunt,
457
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,205
- and who can we blame?
- DANIEL: Funny.
458
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,124
ANITA: But hey, big stunt today.
459
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,167
Excited to see what you got.
460
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,376
- Right, Pat?
- PAT: That's right.
461
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,588
Yeah. Tick-tock.
Clock is ticking.
462
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,131
BRYSON: Yes, sir.
Daniel Kumar, first AD.
463
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,217
Possible subject
of a witch hunt.
464
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,595
K-U-M-A-R.
465
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:38,640
So sorry for weighing in.
466
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,309
It was just
a very infectious energy.
467
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,518
Well, I'm glad you had fun.
468
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,645
Now I just have to execute
with everyone watching me
469
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,148
or I could lose my job
or someone might die.
470
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:49,526
Okay, folks, game faces!
Positions, positions, positions!
471
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,820
- Keep saying positions. Show me.
- Positions, positions.
472
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,489
Heels up in three, two, one.
473
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,324
- DAG: Positions. Positions.
- DANIEL: Go.
474
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:58,035
No. Shit. That has to work.
Okay, two goes.
475
00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:00,162
Peter's spine can only do
two more goes.
476
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,664
Sam. Do me a favor.
Peter's feeling quite frisky.
477
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,124
Let's keep him
on a tight leash. Thank you.
478
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,501
Daniel, I found Jamie VFX.
479
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,169
Jamie, pixel wizard,
how are you holding up?
480
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,337
I'm in the tunnel.
481
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,631
My wife said it's like I've been
dead for three months.
482
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:13,634
(LAUGHS) Yeah, listen.
Can we VFX 80 Moss Men?
483
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,344
Insanely expensive,
it'll look shit,
484
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,096
and the additional workload
might actually kill me.
485
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,180
But you could actually do it?
486
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,640
- I mean--
- Yes! Thank you, Jamie.
487
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:20,849
- JAZ: This way, Jamie.
- DANIEL: Good to see you.
488
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,393
Eric, VFX can tile
your Moss Men,
489
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:23,811
you'll get your crowd,
pinky promise,
490
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:25,062
- can we just shoot?
- DAG: Positions, positions...
491
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,189
Okay. Thank you!
Positions, positions.
492
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,400
- Almost ready, folks.
- (FILM CREW CLAMORING)
493
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,944
Almost ready.
494
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,365
PETER: You go telling tales,
495
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,367
and so I'm now
the fucking petty one.
496
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,576
(DANIEL CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY)
497
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,245
PETER:
Why are you jerking me back?
498
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,538
What are you doing?
499
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:45,165
Just gonna go ten-one.
Quick bathroom break.
500
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,335
JAZ: Mollusk Man going ten-one
behind a rock.
501
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:52,298
Had a large coffee.
Rookie error.
502
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:55,844
No, that's working.
Oh, fabulous.
503
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,930
(GROANS)
That is completely absorbed.
504
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,099
Headphones.
Who wants headphones?
505
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,768
(CHUCKLES) I know I do.
506
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:05,894
Lovely. Lovely.
507
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,229
Dag, what the fuck
are you doing?
508
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,731
I'm using my initiative.
509
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,941
Maybe if we can all hear,
we'll all be better at our jobs.
510
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,360
Okay. None of these people
can have headphones, okay?
511
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,945
It looks like I'm not
in control of my fucking set.
512
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:17,156
Sorry, folks.
Dan said no headphones.
513
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,408
I think maybe they're
a symbol of authority.
514
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,703
- Sorry, Mike.
- Sorry, Mike. Not the bad guy.
515
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,413
Positions! Can we just roll?
516
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,582
Hey, Dan. Ready? Excited to see.
517
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,751
DANIEL:
Excited to see you seeing.
518
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,129
- (BELL RINGING)
- (FILM CREW CHATTERING)
519
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,797
And action!
520
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,843
ADAM: One second, Eric. I--
One second, I gotta sneeze.
521
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,055
(SHUDDERS, EXHALES)
522
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,057
Okay, it's gone.
523
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,100
- Okay, I'm ready.
- CREW: We're rolling!
524
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,436
(EXHALES)
525
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,647
Invisible. Jacking it.
526
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,359
- (JACKHAMMER PROP KNOCKING)
- There.
527
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,235
Got it. Got it.
528
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,321
Okay, and...
529
00:19:58,573 --> 00:19:59,615
Action!
530
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,284
- ♪ (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (GRUNTS)
531
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,581
DANIEL: Cue Moss Men.
532
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,626
ADAM: It's hammer time!
(SNEEZES)
533
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,212
♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
534
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,048
ADAM: Ah, shit. Sneezed.
535
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,883
- Sorry, sorry.
- And cut.
536
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,968
ADAM: Fucking allergies.
Fucking allergies.
537
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:23,055
- Cut there, thank you.
- (CREW CHATTERING)
538
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,766
- (CLAPBOARD CLAPS)
- ADAM: Er-- Eric,
can we use any of that?
539
00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:26,892
Can we use any of that?
540
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,270
ERIC: No, Adam. Your face
was sneezy and unusable.
541
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:34,025
PETER: Poor number one. Gosh!
Maybe he's allergic to acting.
542
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,445
BRYSON: Letting Shane know
we still don't have the stunt.
543
00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:40,323
- Okay, thank you.
- Thank you.
544
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,491
Not a good look, Dan.
545
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:44,160
Maybe I should
ream you out again?
546
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:47,830
Anita, look,
if I could speak freely?
547
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,081
- Friend level.
- Yeah.
548
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,791
DANIEL: If you want to turn
this movie around,
549
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,002
stop shouting.
Focus on the creative.
550
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:54,795
The studio has lost its way.
551
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,006
These movies are not hitting
the way they used to.
552
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,549
And I need your help.
553
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,759
Yeah, well, Shane's pulled
in all directions,
554
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,511
like an octopus
at a square dance.
555
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,221
DANIEL: Exactly.
The Invisible Jackhammer
556
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:06,432
is the perfect example.
I hated it in the comics.
557
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,517
I hated it in the cartoons.
It's totally ludicrous.
558
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,060
What is it even made of?
559
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,021
Oh, we've got
a science advisor from MIT,
560
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:13,355
but we broke his spirit
561
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,898
and now he just nods
everything through.
562
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,026
If Shane had the headspace,
if he was on it,
563
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:18,986
if he was here,
he'd say this is fucking dumb
564
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:21,071
and we should cut it.
Lose it from the movie.
565
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:23,532
He needs boots on the ground.
He needs us.
566
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,409
I can call him. Direct report.
567
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,036
I can talk to Shane
whenever I want.
568
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,579
Yes, that would be amazing.
569
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:32,416
- Just yank the emergency cord.
- Yank that fucking puppy.
570
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,460
- Save the movie.
- Save the day.
571
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:35,920
DANIEL: Save the universe.
572
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,923
We should, uh,
loop in Eric, though.
573
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,300
- Eric?
- Eric.
574
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,552
- Oh, Eric. Director Eric. Yes.
- Yeah.
575
00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:44,720
Eric!
576
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,013
ERIC: Fuck the Jackhammer.
577
00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,723
It was an albatross
from the start.
578
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,391
A giant invisible sea bird.
579
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:52,978
STEPH: It is not now, nor shall
it ever be, hammer time.
580
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,606
Hey, Anita. Heard you were
hoping to connect with Shane.
581
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:57,566
Thank you, Bryson. I'd like
to speak with him direct.
582
00:21:57,567 --> 00:21:58,860
Okay.
583
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:02,196
Hey, Shane. Shane?
584
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,781
BRYSON: (OVER PHONE)
Hello, Anita. This is Bryson.
585
00:22:03,782 --> 00:22:05,074
Shane is not available,
586
00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:07,743
but Pat would like
to see you on C stage.
587
00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,746
Thank you, of course.
That'd be a delight.
588
00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:13,707
DANIEL: Okay, signal me
if you need backup. I'm here.
589
00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:15,250
- (PIGEONS COOING)
- ANITA: Pat.
590
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,419
PAT: New soundstages
for Centurios 2,
591
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,587
our summer tentpole,
592
00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:20,798
and we have an infestation
of fucking pigeons.
593
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:22,466
Lasers. Just to scare them.
594
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:25,469
We can't laser the birds
in half, nor do we wish to.
595
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:28,180
- (CLEARS THROAT)
Three o'clock, fire.
- (WINGS FLAPPING)
596
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:30,057
- ANITA: Pat. Pat, here. Um...
- PAT: What?
597
00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:32,768
Do you think I might be able
to talk to Shane direct?
598
00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:34,812
It's about
the Invisible Jackhammer.
599
00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:37,231
Shane's just made
the incredibly painful decision
600
00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:40,234
- to mothball The Sister Squad.
- PAT: Production was in chaos.
601
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:42,695
Writers were being hired
to do pre-writes on rewrites
602
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:44,947
- that hadn't even come in yet.
- It's canned? The whole movie?
603
00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:46,657
It's like when you have
a beautiful dog,
604
00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:49,326
but you have to smash its head
in with a hammer due to, uh...
605
00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:52,079
- Circumstances?
- PAT: Exactly, circumstances.
606
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,290
Strategic pivot from way,
way upstairs.
607
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,418
Fewer releases.
608
00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:59,336
Seems we gave the fans
too much content,
609
00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:01,255
they choked on it. (CHUCKLES)
610
00:23:01,256 --> 00:23:03,132
BRYSON: Hey, Todd,
let's aim for the eyes.
611
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,967
We really need
to send a message here.
612
00:23:04,968 --> 00:23:07,011
- ANITA: But I'm okay, right?
- (WINGS FLAPPING)
613
00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:09,138
ANITA: I mean, you know,
in terms of my position?
614
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:10,973
Well, Anita,
you should probably know
615
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:13,601
Shane's never been
a hundred percent on Tecto.
616
00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:15,144
Excuse me?
617
00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:17,146
Yeah, he got addicted
to announcing stuff.
618
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,856
He went on a hot streak
at Comic-Con
619
00:23:18,857 --> 00:23:20,357
and nobody told him no.
620
00:23:20,358 --> 00:23:21,692
- Now, here you are.
- ANITA: But, wait--
621
00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:24,403
Todd? Super important that
we get this cleared. If I may?
622
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:27,656
ANITA: This is on Deadline,
okay? My name is attached.
623
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:30,701
I turned down Sofia fucking
Coppola to be here.
624
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:34,663
PAT: Okay. But then
we offered you a salary
you couldn't refuse. You know?
625
00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:36,540
Listen to me.
Look at me. Look at me.
626
00:23:36,541 --> 00:23:38,667
We have the utmost
confidence in you.
627
00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:41,545
Your movie
will be released, okay?
628
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:43,213
If it's a fucking disaster,
629
00:23:43,214 --> 00:23:44,923
and I strongly feel
it will not be,
630
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:48,010
I want to tell you, on my honor
as a Hollywood producer,
631
00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:50,930
there's no way we'd pin this
on you, okay? No way.
632
00:23:51,973 --> 00:23:54,058
Not how I operate.
633
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:56,518
- Incredibly reassuring, Pat.
- PAT: Glad to hear it.
634
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:57,644
(WINGS FLAPPING)
635
00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:59,772
- PAT: Thanks, Anita.
- ANITA: Thanks, Pat.
636
00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:02,691
BRYSON: Boom.
That is a direct and humane hit.
637
00:24:02,692 --> 00:24:04,360
- PAT: Nice.
- BRYSON: (GASPS) The nest.
638
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:06,779
PAT: Bryson, light it up.
Blind those fucking birdies.
639
00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,782
- So, can we lose the Jackhammer?
- The what?
640
00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:10,575
ADAM: It's hammer time!
641
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:15,371
Whoo! We got it!
642
00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:16,872
- ERIC: Cut!
- ADAM: Fuck you, Ipsen!
643
00:24:16,873 --> 00:24:19,458
- Actually, once the CG is in...
- Yeah, I was gonna say,
once it's graded...
644
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:21,377
- ...and you're in the story...
- ...and you've got
all the sound effects...
645
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:24,380
- ...and you'll have
the color correct, and...
- ...and all the VFX, and...
646
00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:25,715
Yeah, I don't mind it.
647
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:30,052
- Okay. Happiness, Eric?
- Happiness.
648
00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:31,387
- Happiness.
- Happiness.
649
00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:32,888
Pending Shane's happiness.
650
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,098
Still couldn't hear.
651
00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:36,767
Okay, everyone,
we are moving on.
652
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:40,271
(FILM CREW CHATTERING)
653
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:50,322
Imagine plummeting
to our deaths. Big news story.
654
00:24:50,323 --> 00:24:52,826
Then we'd see
whose fucking name comes first.
655
00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,161
Guys!
656
00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:58,707
Can we go down? My balls are...
I can't feel my balls.
657
00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:00,542
I can't feel my balls.
658
00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:05,005
♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
659
00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:12,094
ANITA: Well, it's done now.
Onwards.
660
00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:14,596
I just want this
to be a good film.
661
00:25:14,597 --> 00:25:17,016
Smart people working hard.
662
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:20,894
- Yeah, I think we all want that.
- But like a really good one.
663
00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:23,231
Because when you make
movies like this, but good,
664
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:25,774
there's nothing better.
665
00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:27,694
Plus, decent gig.
Baby needs shoes.
666
00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:29,946
Are we good?
667
00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:33,574
(CLICKS TONGUE) Dan,
as your producer, we are great.
668
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,035
We are in great shape.
669
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:37,620
- DANIEL: Okay.
- As your friend,
670
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:39,788
Rome is burning.
671
00:25:39,789 --> 00:25:42,249
Walls are tumbling down
and careers are being destroyed.
672
00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:44,752
Daniel, if you care too much
about this job it will kill you.
673
00:25:44,753 --> 00:25:48,297
We are not at war...
but we're at war.
674
00:25:48,298 --> 00:25:50,550
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
675
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:54,303
(LAUGHS) Fucking with you.
676
00:25:54,304 --> 00:25:56,181
Yeah. Everything's great.
677
00:25:57,223 --> 00:26:00,267
Nothing to worry about.
Night, Dan.
678
00:26:00,268 --> 00:26:03,355
JAZ: Mollusk Man traveling.
Can someone de-rig his diaper?
Over.
679
00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:08,567
Ooh, well, that's a wrappy
on the nappy.
680
00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:11,237
"I am big. It's the nappies
that got small."
681
00:26:12,989 --> 00:26:15,324
Actually, I've got quite
a long car journey home.
682
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:16,534
I'll just leave it on.
683
00:26:19,537 --> 00:26:24,542
♪ (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
684
00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:27,711
INTERVIEWER: What's it like
working with Adam?
685
00:26:27,712 --> 00:26:29,214
(CHUCKLES) Adam?
686
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:35,636
Adam, he's instinctual,
like a bear or a hog.
687
00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:37,680
And I say this with,
you know, respect.
688
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:39,515
It's like working
with a chimpanzee,
689
00:26:39,516 --> 00:26:42,893
which I've done twice, actually,
once with tragic consequences.
690
00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:45,354
Awful story.
Bong-Bong was his name.
691
00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:47,022
They caught him one day
stealing donuts
692
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:49,358
from the craft services,
which one must never do.
693
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,694
And so his owner,
in an attempt to chide him,
694
00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,363
ended up beating him
to death with an axe handle.
695
00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,865
Terrible, terrible,
and very messy.
696
00:26:56,866 --> 00:26:58,951
Obviously, there was no chance
of the chimp doing any press
697
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:00,786
or publicity to promote
the movie after that.
698
00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,371
How could he? He was dead.
699
00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:05,874
So in the end, they brought in
a second chimp to do Carson.
700
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:08,585
Rum-Tum, I think it was.
701
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:10,087
Anyway, the whole press campaign
702
00:27:10,088 --> 00:27:12,047
was a bit of a washout
after that.
703
00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:13,382
I often think that's why
704
00:27:13,383 --> 00:27:15,426
the movie never found
an audience.
705
00:27:15,427 --> 00:27:17,886
Screenplay was terrific.
706
00:27:17,887 --> 00:27:20,389
"Do You Take This Chimp?,"
it was called.
707
00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:23,601
David Mamet did
an uncredited polish.
708
00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:26,395
Bong-Bong.
709
00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:31,442
Oh, I haven't thought about
poor little bugger for 30 years.
710
00:27:31,443 --> 00:27:33,737
(SIGHS) Oh...
711
00:27:34,988 --> 00:27:36,698
Or David Mamet, for that matter.
712
00:27:37,741 --> 00:27:40,410
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪