1 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,004 - ♪♪ MTV ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:06,573 announcer: Previously on "Teen Mom The Next Chapter"... 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,408 - Can you tell me more about your goals 4 00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,577 for this next ketamine session? 5 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:15,082 - I would like to focus more on my sexual abuse as a kid. 6 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:16,483 - Tell me where you are. 7 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:21,021 - I'm in my childhood trailer. 8 00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:22,523 Very scary. 9 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,458 - Bounty hunters bashing on your window and door, 10 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,826 and lights coming all in. 11 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,261 Like dude. 12 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,930 I was a wounded kid. 13 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,565 - Oh, my gosh, yes. 14 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,133 We were just two little kids that in the beginning 15 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,469 were very much trauma bonded. 16 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,539 - What's going on with you and Ashley, first of all? 17 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,275 - She said I used the shooting to cover up 18 00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:42,943 getting my body done. 19 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,745 - Ashley said some [bleep] that made her feel some type of way. 20 00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,079 She said some [bleep] that might have made 21 00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,214 Ashley feel some type of way. 22 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,449 - I don't care about Cheyenne. 23 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:53,086 - The way you win the fight is to end the fight. 24 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,088 - So my probation is active right now. 25 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,590 It's 24 months in California, 26 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,859 so I can't leave for more than two days. 27 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:00,060 So... 28 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,528 - That's [bleep] up. 29 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,965 - Between Deandre's passing, it's a lot. 30 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,968 And I know Rosie is being hindered by it. 31 00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:09,203 - Yeah. 32 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,637 Why don't you send Rosie down here 33 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,372 to spend some time with me? 34 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,975 - I finally got my mom admitted 35 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,810 into a rehab facility. 36 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:20,047 We also found my dad a facility as well. 37 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,815 - Hi. - Hi. 38 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:24,551 - When the cameras were there, she seems good, 39 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,221 but the moment we had a private conversation, 40 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,289 she looks at me and my aunt and she's like, 41 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,991 oh, yeah, we could do bingo together. 42 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,860 And I was like, you had a gambling problem, 43 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,161 a drug problem. 44 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:37,965 Like, why would you even consider doing bingo? 45 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,867 [ambulance siren wailing] 46 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,269 [soft music] 47 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,505 - Ryan overdosed. 48 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:49,543 That's truly the first time I was genuinely scared. 49 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,378 - How's Bentley taking it? 50 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,880 - Now he's just angry. 51 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,682 - Maci, have you ever thought about doing Al-Anon? 52 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,985 It's for people that have suffered with people 53 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,521 around this, and you know, always being the support person 54 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,356 and basically having a support group. 55 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:03,557 - You know what, I'm going to do it. 56 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,893 - I'm going to give it a try too. 57 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:06,860 - Really? 58 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:09,496 - Yeah, we will grow with him. 59 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,466 [upbeat rock music] 60 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:19,640 ♪♪ ♪♪ 61 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,748 - ♪♪ Keep thinking maybe if you let me back in ♪♪ 62 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,683 ♪♪ We could make it better ♪♪ 63 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,386 ♪♪ Breaking every habit, pull myself... ♪♪ 64 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:35,155 - Too much salt. 65 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,124 Too much salt! 66 00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,126 Ah! 67 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,594 - Whoo. 68 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,396 - Ryder went to the dentist yesterday. 69 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,064 - I went today. - For real? 70 00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,166 She's been complaining about her teeth hurting. 71 00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,901 He said that's because they're about to all fall out. 72 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,169 - Oh, OK, cool. 73 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,505 - I can't wait to see her be a snaggletooth. 74 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:52,973 - So what else is going on? How you doing? 75 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:57,578 Whatever happened to that what I'd call messy stuff? 76 00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,479 - You're talking about the Ashley and Bar stuff? 77 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,747 - Yeah, did that ever simmer down? 78 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,249 - I would say yeah. 79 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,351 - How are you and Ashley doing? You guys have not spoken? 80 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,886 - No. 81 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,521 - You might want to reach out to her. 82 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,622 Just say hello. 83 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:09,756 - I have too much going on... 84 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,124 - You don't want to go through the fight? 85 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,693 - To go through a fight. - OK, let me ask you this. 86 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:13,927 - I don't need to fight with somebody that doesn't like me. 87 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,195 - Yeah, OK. - For what? 88 00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:19,132 - OK, you're being a little bit pessimistic. 89 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,336 - Two years ago, my kids, Zach, and myself were 90 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:23,604 the victims of a shooting. 91 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,473 - I looked at who was holding the gun, 92 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,576 and it was somebody we both knew. 93 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:34,615 - It is a miracle that we are still here. 94 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,817 We are still dealing with this nightmare. 95 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,452 I would rather do a plea deal. 96 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:42,823 As long as he's doing more than 20 years, I'll take that. 97 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,024 - Yeah. 98 00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:45,659 - I don't know if I could do a trial. 99 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,394 I don't know if I could mentally handle a trial. 100 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:48,929 - Mm-mm. 101 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,597 - I'm anxious because we find out this week 102 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,633 whether or not we go to trial. 103 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:55,369 And Ashley's comments make an already terrible 104 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,671 situation worse for me. 105 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,808 Zach and I have sat there with her and Bar, away 106 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,444 from cameras, talked about the accident, 107 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,446 talked about the effect the accident has had on us, 108 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:07,948 on our kids. 109 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,816 So it's like you've watched me cry about this. 110 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,952 I don't know how to reach out to a person 111 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,588 where I feel like they went too low for me. 112 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,756 - Here's the deal, though, Chey. 113 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,090 Hurt people do hurt people. 114 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,792 When you try to make things right, 115 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,527 your vibration gets higher, 116 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,529 whether it is successful or not. 117 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,864 Just think about it. 118 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,301 That's all. You know, try to find a way. 119 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,303 - I will think about it. 120 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,438 [tense music] 121 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,675 - ♪♪ Gone to a place no one can find me ♪♪ 122 00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,143 ♪♪ Moved on ♪♪ 123 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,912 ♪♪ Leaving everything behind me ♪♪ 124 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:43,717 ♪♪ I'm not sure anybody even liked me at all ♪♪ 125 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,920 ♪♪ I'm not lost, moved on, I'm gone, girl ♪♪ 126 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,522 - Hi, Daddy. 127 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:49,923 - How was your day? 128 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,358 - Good. 129 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,926 - You been having fun with Rosie at the house? 130 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,194 - Yeah. 131 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,163 - So what do you and Mommy be doing? 132 00:04:56,230 --> 00:05:00,033 - We go to the park, and we eat food. 133 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,802 Daddy, watch this. 134 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,637 [soft music] 135 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:06,473 And move your tattoos too. 136 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,675 ♪♪ ♪♪ 137 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,143 I miss you. 138 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,478 - I miss you too, and I love you, K? 139 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,480 - Love you. 140 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:18,418 ♪♪ ♪♪ 141 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,687 - ♪♪ Let's get in the car ♪♪ 142 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,524 ♪♪ Let's get in the car ♪♪ 143 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,425 Oh, the car's locked. 144 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,793 ♪♪ ♪♪ 145 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,695 - [laughs] - Thanks. 146 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,466 - Buckle up. 147 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:35,102 My sister has been here for over a month now. 148 00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,404 I know it might be weird for her to be away from home, 149 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,407 so I'm trying to spoil her while she's here. 150 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,509 ♪♪ ♪♪ 151 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,511 - Holly, what colors are you getting? 152 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,413 - I'm getting lavender. 153 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,781 - I appreciate you. 154 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,317 You know, Bar is gone. 155 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,718 You've been helping me out. 156 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,153 You've been helping me out with Holly. 157 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:55,022 - I try to do my best. 158 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,791 I'm grateful for like you both because you guys have 159 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,661 taught me like how to be more social 160 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,230 and how just be yourself. 161 00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:04,898 - That's the cool thing about being yourself 162 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,067 is that you're unique. 163 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,369 Have you ever stayed away from Mom this long? 164 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:10,737 - Never. 165 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,739 - How do you feel about that? - Kind of scary. 166 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:13,941 - Weird without your parents. 167 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,009 - Yeah, it's kind of like unnormal. 168 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,612 - Well, she says she's coming to visit in a few days. 169 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:19,880 - OK, I'm cool with that. 170 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:22,049 - I think Mom is really struggling. 171 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,617 You know, and you were there. 172 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,352 So I think you know. - Yeah. 173 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,821 - So you know, I wanted you to come here 174 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,623 because I wanted Mom to be able to deal 175 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,191 with her emotions. 176 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,861 Sometimes adults can't feel their emotions 177 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,363 because we have kids, and we don't want our kids 178 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,065 to feel those emotions too. 179 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,701 So we all got to support Mom, you know? 180 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,871 ♪♪ ♪♪ 181 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,806 [upbeat music] 182 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:50,611 - ♪♪ You're living far away from this ♪♪ 183 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,680 ♪♪ I needed to leave you ♪♪ 184 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,049 - OK. 185 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,484 OK. 186 00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:00,554 Hey, guys. So I'm completely exhausted. 187 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:04,458 I was just in Texas visiting my mom in her rehab facility. 188 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,827 There were some things that were said that were, like, 189 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,929 pretty concerning to me. 190 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,331 But now I'm in Arizona. 191 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:14,735 I'm about to visit my dad in his rehab facility. 192 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,070 Wish me luck. Send me good vibes. 193 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,773 - So you're going to let your dad know that you want him 194 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:24,011 to not cover up for your mom and to be 195 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:27,147 completely 100% honest and open about everything. 196 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,082 - I think that's important, don't you? 197 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,551 - I really think that's important. 198 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,954 - He'll be coming home in about 2 1/2 weeks. 199 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,924 All right, pulling in. 200 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,059 [phone ringing] 201 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,127 Hey. 202 00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,563 - Hi, Mommy. - Hi, hon. 203 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,498 - Did you pick up Kloie yet? 204 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,933 - No, Sean picked her up. 205 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,802 Did you see Kloie? I want to talk to her. 206 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,404 - I'm--yeah, I'll call you. 207 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,638 I'm worried about my mom. 208 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,106 She said something about wanting to go home 209 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,241 and go to bingo and [bleep]. 210 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,543 That's gambling. That's a trigger. 211 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,612 I think she should stay longer. I'm not kidding you. 212 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:02,983 - Yeah, but she only signed herself up for that so much. 213 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,351 You know? 214 00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:05,853 - Yeah, but they can recommend her to stay. 215 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,521 - I don't know. I'm going to talk to Cathy. 216 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,990 I'm going to talk to her counselor about it. 217 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,292 But I'm here. We're at my dad's place. 218 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,762 We're about to get out and go visit with him, 219 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,164 see how he's doing. 220 00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:19,499 - All right. Love you, bye. 221 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,034 - Ready, Freddie? 222 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,569 - Ready as I'll ever be. 223 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,572 [soft music] 224 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:29,910 ♪♪ ♪♪ 225 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,982 [upbeat music] 226 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,986 - ♪♪ Take my hand ♪♪ 227 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,455 ♪♪ ♪♪ 228 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:46,293 ♪♪ I'll be here where you stand ♪♪ 229 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,930 - So Ryan has been in jail for a few weeks now. 230 00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:53,033 While we wait on Ryan's court date, 231 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,068 I've decided to take your advice, Jade, 232 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:59,339 and I'm going to try my first Al-Anon meeting. 233 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,775 Dr. Drew has recommended it in the past. 234 00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,577 - Have you been recommended to Al-Anon yet? 235 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:04,845 - Yes. - Are you going? 236 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,747 - Mm-hmm. - Do you go to Al-Anon? 237 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,081 - Mm-mm. - You need to go too. 238 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,683 He's going to be an important part of your life. 239 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:10,951 - Yeah. 240 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,287 It just seems like it's the time to try. 241 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,522 Wish me luck. 242 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,392 - What are you doing? 243 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,827 - Getting ready for my first virtual Al-Anon meeting. 244 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,763 Jen's going to try it too. - Oh, really? 245 00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:26,033 - Mm-hmm, she and Larry found one to go to in person. 246 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,569 She already bought some of the books. 247 00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:31,572 - What are you hoping to get out of this? 248 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:35,309 - Well, this first one, I'm really just trying to get 249 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:38,612 the anxiety of Al-Anon 250 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:42,049 and like the ignorance to it 251 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,551 and stuff like over with and out of the way. 252 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:45,886 - But like long-term? 253 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:50,357 - I kind of just want to figure out 254 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,393 if this can help me processing and not 255 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:57,898 bottling it up and just being hurt and angry all the time. 256 00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,233 I'm not an addict. 257 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,134 I haven't been an addict, but dealing with one, 258 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,938 it feels so like you never know what to do. 259 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,073 - Yeah. 260 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,508 - Like you don't understand anything. 261 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,743 And so you definitely don't understand like yourself. 262 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,044 - Yeah. 263 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,347 - It starts in like 15 minutes, so I have 264 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,216 to like go somewhere private. 265 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,087 - ♪♪ Think I'm headed in the right direction ♪♪ 266 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,756 - All right. See you later. 267 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:26,593 - ♪♪ None of this is what I was expecting ♪♪ 268 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,996 [soft music] 269 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,298 ♪♪ Oh-oh ♪♪ 270 00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:33,500 ♪♪ ♪♪ 271 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,770 - ♪♪ Darling, are we ♪♪ 272 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:40,974 ♪♪ Excited to learn ♪♪ 273 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,177 - The joys of buying new furniture. 274 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,512 You got to put it all together. - I know, I know. 275 00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:48,582 I just have that follow-up with Dr. Mike. 276 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,450 The Zoom call starts in a minute. 277 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,085 - I mean, you've definitely been feeling good, 278 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,521 ever since your whole ketamine therapy session stuff. 279 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,323 - Yeah, I feel great. 280 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,058 I'm going to hop on this call. 281 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,128 [upbeat music] 282 00:11:01,195 --> 00:11:04,965 ♪♪ ♪♪ 283 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,466 Hello. - Hi. 284 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,901 - Hey, guys. How are you? 285 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,203 Nice to see you both. - Good. 286 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,637 - We're good. - Good. 287 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,072 Wanted to see how you guys are doing 288 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,875 after the ketamine-assisted psychotherapy. 289 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,443 What's changed in your life? 290 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,011 - I think it's great. 291 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,147 I kind of noticed myself just being a little more present 292 00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:22,649 in little moments, enjoying them, sitting with them 293 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,084 for a longer period of time. 294 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,220 - Yeah, I can see him giving himself 295 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,554 a little bit more like grace 296 00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:30,624 and being kinder to himself in certain moments. 297 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,758 So that's good. 298 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,160 - I'm so happy to hear. 299 00:11:33,227 --> 00:11:35,963 I was really struck by how far you've come. 300 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,999 And when you grew up in that trailer, 301 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,268 and all these things happened to you, 302 00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:42,970 and you were in so much pain, 303 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,905 I think that little boy would be 304 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,307 very, very proud to see everything that you've 305 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,610 achieved, this family that you've built. 306 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:53,146 So what I'd like you to do is write a letter 307 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,750 to that young Tyler, and I'd like you to go back 308 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:59,553 to that trailer that you grew up in, 309 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,221 and I'd like you to read that letter. 310 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,589 How does that sound? 311 00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:06,660 - I mean, it sounds kind of intense. 312 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,996 - I also want you to tell him, hey, I'm OK now. 313 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,832 I want you to tell him, and maybe even anything 314 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,534 that you'd want to tell your mom or your dad 315 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,803 or other people in your life, anything that comes to mind, 316 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,805 anything that's in your heart, anything 317 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,041 that you think that you need to move on. 318 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:24,378 - OK, I mean, all right. I'll do it. 319 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:25,913 - It might be a long letter, but-- 320 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,614 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how long a letter will 321 00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:29,983 be, but I'll do it for sure. 322 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,719 - ♪♪ Oh, let's face it, I've been waiting ♪♪ 323 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,721 ♪♪ I ain't patient no more ♪♪ 324 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,190 ♪♪ And I'm hoping ♪♪ 325 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,726 ♪♪ And I pray that we'll be back in store ♪♪ 326 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,395 [soft music] 327 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,831 - Tyler has been working on a letter to his younger self. 328 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:48,302 His mom is coming over today, and I'm not sure if he's going 329 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,003 to share it with her or not. 330 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,805 But she's going to sit with the kids 331 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,575 so we can go to his trailer that he grew up in, 332 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:59,012 and he is going to read it out loud where he used to live. 333 00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,981 It's probably going to be emotional, 334 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:04,318 but I think it's going to be great. 335 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,486 ♪♪ ♪♪ 336 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:07,888 - Oh, my gosh. 337 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,057 - Hello, Mother. - Hi, Ty. 338 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,024 - Hi. 339 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,426 - How are you? - Good. 340 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,394 How are you doing, Mama? 341 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,597 - ♪♪ Is it cool if I ask ♪♪ 342 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,999 ♪♪ Can we stay on the run? ♪♪ 343 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:20,534 - So what are you doing today? What's going on? 344 00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:24,004 - Today is where I have to do that, that like homework, 345 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:26,907 therapy work, to write a letter to my younger self. 346 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,041 - Did you do it? - Yeah. 347 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,209 Yeah. I did it this morning. 348 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:30,444 Yeah. - Oh, really? 349 00:13:30,511 --> 00:13:31,612 When you sat down and started writing it, 350 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:32,579 what did you think? 351 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,947 Like, was it-- 352 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,249 - Do you want to-- here, you want to read it? 353 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,717 Mom, you just got to read it. 354 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,485 - "First of all, I want to tell you that I'm sorry. 355 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:43,156 "I'm so sorry that you are going to inevitably experience 356 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,958 "a lot of pain in your young life. 357 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,493 "It's not your fault that your mom 358 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,329 "had to be more absent 359 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:52,432 "than she wanted to be in order 360 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,301 "for you to eat and survive. 361 00:13:54,368 --> 00:13:56,937 "It's not your fault that your innocence 362 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,606 was violently robbed from you." 363 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:03,744 [somber music] 364 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,513 It's so hard for me to read this. 365 00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:12,386 ♪♪ ♪♪ 366 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,559 - ♪♪ I can talk about you, I can talk about me ♪♪ 367 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,327 ♪♪ I can talk about us, I can talk about we ♪♪ 368 00:14:20,394 --> 00:14:22,763 ♪♪ You and I are were in love, and now we're not anymore ♪♪ 369 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:23,964 ♪♪ All the things that I've done ♪♪ 370 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,299 - Hi. - Hi, y'all. 371 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,834 - Hey, hey, what's up, family? 372 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,068 - Yup, we are starving. 373 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,236 - For size. 374 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,405 Right on time. Food! 375 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,140 - I'm starving, you guys. 376 00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:34,741 Thank you for bringing lunch. - Uh-huh. 377 00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:37,010 - So what's happening? How you doing? 378 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,581 - Dad came over and basically gave me the whole speech 379 00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:43,717 about, like, calling Ashley and like clearing the air with her 380 00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:47,387 and allowing like a healthy conversation. 381 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,722 - There's history there. 382 00:14:48,789 --> 00:14:50,023 And there's been a lot of confusion 383 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,458 with all the online stuff. 384 00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:54,194 There's been chitter-chatter, so it's like, 385 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,596 this is one of those moments where I think 386 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:58,131 like clearing the air actually would make sense. 387 00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,566 - Right. - And it's for you. 388 00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:02,169 It's not necessarily for her, or her reaction. 389 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:03,570 I think it's-- - Right. 390 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,973 - There's a few things that she said that weren't 391 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,441 true and very hurtful. 392 00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:10,110 So I think that you will not be able to move forward 393 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:13,747 without addressing those things and say, I almost suffered 394 00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:15,315 a near-death experience. 395 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,085 If she doesn't receive that, I don't know what to tell you. 396 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,420 - It would be nice to say the past is in the past 397 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:21,922 and let's just move forward. 398 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,323 What do you think? 399 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,791 Do you think I should listen to my dad and call? 400 00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:26,393 Or do you think I should just leave it alone? 401 00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:27,895 - I think you should call her because it's 402 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:30,531 something that has bothered you, and it's that simple. 403 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,999 - At the end of the day, you want peace. 404 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,168 You want to be able to peacefully coexist and not 405 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,503 have issues between you. 406 00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:38,839 You guys both have share that end goal, 407 00:15:38,906 --> 00:15:41,575 then there's a way to get there. 408 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:46,947 - ♪♪ Don't I know you ♪♪ 409 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,450 ♪♪ Don't I know you ♪♪ 410 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,353 ♪♪ If I don't, girl ♪♪ 411 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,256 - Our Al-Anon meeting is today. 412 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,958 We should probably leave in about ten minutes. 413 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,259 - Yeah. 414 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,361 - Maci talked about going to one too. 415 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,130 - Really? - On Zoom. 416 00:16:03,197 --> 00:16:04,765 You know, you can do them online. 417 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,934 - I have to go there to pay attention. 418 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,435 - I know. 419 00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:11,672 - You put it on Zoom, you got me for about five minutes. 420 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,374 - I've been reading the Al-Anon books, and they are helpful. 421 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:17,211 I want to learn how to handle my emotions 422 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:21,849 better because I can't let his life control mine forever. 423 00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:23,116 - I'm game. 424 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,252 - All right. You don't seem too thrilled. 425 00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:27,421 - Yeah, it's just, I'll do it. 426 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,990 I got to check it out. I got to know for myself. 427 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,559 - All right, we got to put Chancey up. 428 00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:33,660 - Chancey, are you ready, buddy? 429 00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:34,795 We got to go to a meeting. 430 00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,763 - ♪♪ I'm so far away ♪♪ 431 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,066 ♪♪ I will pull myself together ♪♪ 432 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:42,002 ♪♪ But right now, I'm just having one of those days ♪♪ 433 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,837 [Colony House's "One of Those Days"] 434 00:16:43,904 --> 00:16:47,975 ♪♪ I'm just having one of those days ♪♪ 435 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:52,079 ♪♪ I'm just having one of those days with my headspace ♪♪ 436 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,247 - You going to eat outside? 437 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,415 - I don't care. 438 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:56,850 - You're hangry. 439 00:16:56,917 --> 00:16:59,786 - Starving. 440 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,922 Look at that. 441 00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:04,057 - So what did you think of the meeting? 442 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,425 - It was different for me. 443 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,860 - Very different for me too. 444 00:17:06,927 --> 00:17:09,329 Glad I went, and I'll go again. 445 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,564 - I'll go again with you. 446 00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,299 Did you notice, too, a lot of them 447 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,034 said they tried to fix the problem? 448 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,536 - Yeah, that's my problem. 449 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,671 I always want to fix everything. 450 00:17:17,738 --> 00:17:19,706 - You know, sometimes you just got to step back. 451 00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:20,874 - Yep. 452 00:17:20,941 --> 00:17:22,442 But we do feel disappointment and-- 453 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,077 - I'm definitely disappointed. 454 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,948 - And kind of like sometime hopelessness. 455 00:17:28,015 --> 00:17:31,418 And it does affect how we live our day-to-day lives. 456 00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:33,620 - Yeah, it does. 457 00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:38,525 Ryan's got an illness, and I mean, I can't change it. 458 00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:41,228 So I try not to dwell. 459 00:17:41,295 --> 00:17:43,764 - You can't push it down too deep. 460 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,300 - And I can't think about it all day either. 461 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,869 I got to be here for you. I can't just shut down on you. 462 00:17:48,936 --> 00:17:50,537 - I know. - What if I shut down? 463 00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,339 What do you got then? 464 00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,575 - Nothing. - There you go. 465 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,076 We can't do it by ourselves. 466 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,711 We can't get through this by ourselves. 467 00:17:57,778 --> 00:17:58,912 - Mm-mm. 468 00:17:58,979 --> 00:18:00,280 - If anything was to ever happen to him, 469 00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,683 we couldn't do it by ourselves. 470 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,851 - ♪♪ Whenever you want ♪♪ 471 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,553 ♪♪ Now wherever you go ♪♪ 472 00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,689 - ♪♪ You said let's go up ♪♪ 473 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:09,823 ♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪ 474 00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:13,627 - Hey, Mom! - Hi, booga! 475 00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:15,128 It's good to see you. 476 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,130 - Good to see you, too. Come on in. 477 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,465 - Where's everybody at? 478 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,867 - Ash is right there. - Yeah? 479 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,502 - Just me, hey. - Hey, what's up? 480 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,703 How you doing? 481 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,104 - I'm good. - You haven't seen me. 482 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,339 You don't miss me? 483 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:26,440 - I do. 484 00:18:26,507 --> 00:18:27,641 I'm just trying to do something. 485 00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:29,476 - OK. So, booga, what's up, girl? 486 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,211 How you been doing down here? - Good. 487 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:34,781 - You've been giving Ashley a good time or a hard time? 488 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:36,483 - The best time of her life. 489 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:37,818 - OK. 490 00:18:37,885 --> 00:18:39,786 It's hecka cool to be out here with y'all, 491 00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:42,222 to be able to take a load off and see y'all faces, 492 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,857 and turn up. 493 00:18:43,924 --> 00:18:44,958 - Turn up? 494 00:18:45,025 --> 00:18:46,560 - Yeah. 495 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:49,129 I didn't come all this way to be somebody's mama and granny. 496 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,231 - ♪♪ I say, let's go up ♪♪ 497 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,634 ♪♪ Yeah, yeah, show up ♪♪ 498 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,769 ♪♪ Give it up, give it up, give it up ♪♪ 499 00:18:55,836 --> 00:18:58,305 ♪♪ Showing up and don't stop ♪♪ 500 00:18:58,372 --> 00:19:00,274 ♪♪ ♪♪ 501 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,075 - It's nice out here. 502 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,578 - So what's going on with you guys, with the girls? 503 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,146 How's booga doing? 504 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:09,316 - Everything's OK. 505 00:19:09,383 --> 00:19:11,652 - How do you feel about being a sister of a teenager? 506 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,253 - She don't bother me none because she know 507 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,888 I boo-boo-boo-boo. 508 00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:16,423 I don't play. - OK, OK. 509 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,026 - So she's very calm usually here. 510 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:23,430 - Well, I'm happy that Rosie is here and giving me the time 511 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:28,869 to figure out my grief and where I need to be in my life, 512 00:19:28,936 --> 00:19:31,805 because a lot of things are rocky for me. 513 00:19:31,872 --> 00:19:34,141 So how are you managing all that, especially 514 00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:35,809 with Bar not being here? 515 00:19:35,876 --> 00:19:38,445 - It is stressful because I feel like I'm 516 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:39,580 constantly cleaning up. 517 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,081 I'm constantly making lunch. 518 00:19:41,148 --> 00:19:42,616 Now I'm making dinner. 519 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,051 - It can be overwhelming. - It's overwhelming. 520 00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:46,620 - Yeah, how is his mindset, being away from Holly 521 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:48,722 and just not being in the house? 522 00:19:48,789 --> 00:19:50,157 - I mean, I feel like he hates it. 523 00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:52,025 - It's got to be pretty miserable for him. 524 00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:53,327 - Yeah. 525 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,795 - With that being said, I need that drink. 526 00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:57,764 - Matter of fact, bring me a double Casamigos. 527 00:19:57,831 --> 00:20:00,734 - Yeah, at this point, I need three shots. 528 00:20:00,801 --> 00:20:03,904 [cell phone rings] 529 00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:06,206 - Hello? 530 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:07,808 - Hey, it's Cheyenne. 531 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,643 I was hoping we could have a conversation. 532 00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,646 [tense music] 533 00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:16,016 ♪♪ ♪♪ 534 00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:22,890 [tense music] 535 00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:26,793 ♪♪ ♪♪ 536 00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:29,263 [phone line trilling] 537 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,731 [cell phone ringing] 538 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,166 - Hello? 539 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,768 - Hey, it's Cheyenne. 540 00:20:34,835 --> 00:20:38,639 I was hoping we could have a conversation. 541 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,207 - Yeah. What's up? 542 00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:43,343 - I feel like we probably should have talked a long time 543 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,346 ago, but I think it was just a lot 544 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:51,585 happening online and in the air. 545 00:20:51,652 --> 00:20:55,422 And I think it was best to let things kind of calm down 546 00:20:55,489 --> 00:20:59,059 and let the temperature die down before, at least 547 00:20:59,126 --> 00:21:00,661 for me, before I reached out. 548 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,029 - Right. 549 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,364 - You know, when Zach went out to meet up with Bar, 550 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,667 I feel like that was for them to clear the air, 551 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,336 and it seemed like their conversation went well. 552 00:21:09,403 --> 00:21:11,171 And I feel like there's no reason 553 00:21:11,238 --> 00:21:13,640 why we can't have one either. 554 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:16,143 - I--to be honest, I really don't 555 00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:18,579 have anything to say to you. 556 00:21:19,813 --> 00:21:22,449 I don't appreciate how you treated me, 557 00:21:22,516 --> 00:21:26,320 and that's really as far as I'm willing 558 00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:28,188 to take the conversation. 559 00:21:28,255 --> 00:21:30,457 - I feel like you have matured. 560 00:21:30,524 --> 00:21:32,292 - Mat-ured. - Thank you, thank you. 561 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,261 - Like, your behavior-- are you behaving, Ashley? 562 00:21:34,328 --> 00:21:35,395 - I'm behaving. 563 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:38,565 - [bleep] my [bleep], Ash. - [spits] 564 00:21:38,632 --> 00:21:42,169 - You don't spit on somebody, so I don't think I would 565 00:21:42,236 --> 00:21:44,104 do another show with her. 566 00:21:44,171 --> 00:21:46,673 I mean, I know I wouldn't do another show with her. 567 00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:48,041 - Cheyenne texts me. 568 00:21:48,108 --> 00:21:50,277 She says, "Hi, I don't think 569 00:21:50,344 --> 00:21:52,679 "it is appropriate for you to attend the wedding. 570 00:21:52,746 --> 00:21:56,383 "This is a very special day, and we don't want any drama. 571 00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:58,752 Hoping you understand." 572 00:21:58,819 --> 00:22:00,187 I am done with you bitches. 573 00:22:00,254 --> 00:22:03,724 - She just has drama with the majority of the people. 574 00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:07,728 I didn't really see a way around it. 575 00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:12,366 - I appreciate you calling, but yeah, 576 00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,934 I think this is a door that I would 577 00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:16,103 just like to remain closed. 578 00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:18,205 - OK, I respect that. 579 00:22:18,272 --> 00:22:19,907 - OK, have an awesome day. 580 00:22:19,973 --> 00:22:21,608 Thanks. 581 00:22:21,675 --> 00:22:26,113 ♪♪ ♪♪ 582 00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:27,514 [sighs] 583 00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:29,983 So that was Cheyenne that called me. 584 00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:33,387 And I guess she felt like because Zach came down here 585 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:36,590 and had a good talk with Bar, that that extended to her. 586 00:22:36,657 --> 00:22:39,026 And she was like, we should have talked sooner, 587 00:22:39,092 --> 00:22:40,794 and I want to reach out. 588 00:22:40,861 --> 00:22:42,129 And I just said, you know, 589 00:22:42,196 --> 00:22:43,697 I don't appreciate how you did me. 590 00:22:43,764 --> 00:22:46,033 That's as far as I'm willing to take the conversation. 591 00:22:46,099 --> 00:22:47,701 You have an awesome day. 592 00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:49,970 That time for that phone call was before you 593 00:22:50,037 --> 00:22:51,672 disinvited me to your wedding. 594 00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:53,774 - Yeah, I agree. 595 00:22:53,841 --> 00:22:55,609 - When we were supposed to be friends. 596 00:22:55,676 --> 00:22:58,145 That time was before you got on your podcast and said, 597 00:22:58,212 --> 00:22:59,179 well, just because she's Black doesn't 598 00:22:59,246 --> 00:23:00,480 mean I have to like her. 599 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,982 - Yeah, which was so lame. 600 00:23:02,049 --> 00:23:03,317 - That time was before you got on camera and said, 601 00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:04,618 I'd never do a show with her again. 602 00:23:04,685 --> 00:23:05,986 That time was before you said, I was toxic. 603 00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:11,625 That time was before bogus ass phone call. 604 00:23:11,692 --> 00:23:12,926 Girl, bye. 605 00:23:12,993 --> 00:23:15,562 Can I have another Sex on the Beach, please? 606 00:23:15,629 --> 00:23:16,964 - [laughs] 607 00:23:17,030 --> 00:23:23,303 ♪♪ ♪♪ 608 00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:25,172 - What's up, kid? - Where were you guys? 609 00:23:25,239 --> 00:23:27,174 - Outside. Too hot out there, though. 610 00:23:27,241 --> 00:23:28,775 What are you doing? 611 00:23:28,842 --> 00:23:30,377 - So I feel like I let everybody get into 612 00:23:30,444 --> 00:23:32,346 my head, and-- 613 00:23:32,412 --> 00:23:34,381 - You called Ashley? - Yes. 614 00:23:34,448 --> 00:23:36,550 - Well, that's a good thing. - What happened? 615 00:23:36,617 --> 00:23:38,986 - She said that the door shut because she doesn't appreciate 616 00:23:39,052 --> 00:23:41,622 how I treated her, so-- 617 00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:44,391 - OK, you took a shot, and that's all you do. 618 00:23:44,458 --> 00:23:46,126 - Man, you were shot down. 619 00:23:46,193 --> 00:23:48,529 - Yeah. - Bam. 620 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:51,698 - ♪♪ You were supposed to ride for me ♪♪ 621 00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:54,735 ♪♪ You were supposed to die for me ♪♪ 622 00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:57,104 - Ready, Freddie? - Ready as I'll ever be. 623 00:23:57,171 --> 00:24:00,207 ♪♪ ♪♪ 624 00:24:00,274 --> 00:24:01,441 - Hi. - Hi. 625 00:24:01,508 --> 00:24:03,477 - Hello. - How you doing? 626 00:24:03,544 --> 00:24:05,979 - I'm here. Actually, I'm good. 627 00:24:06,046 --> 00:24:07,581 - God, you look great. - You look better. 628 00:24:07,648 --> 00:24:09,249 - I've gained at least 30 pounds. 629 00:24:09,316 --> 00:24:10,317 - You need a haircut, but besides-- 630 00:24:10,384 --> 00:24:11,618 - Yeah, I know. 631 00:24:11,685 --> 00:24:12,953 - Yeah, this area is really nice. 632 00:24:13,020 --> 00:24:14,421 - Yeah, the mountain up there. 633 00:24:14,488 --> 00:24:17,157 ♪♪ ♪♪ 634 00:24:17,224 --> 00:24:20,360 - We're going to have an hour off camera to chill 635 00:24:20,427 --> 00:24:21,595 before we go up to the clinic, and we'll get 636 00:24:21,662 --> 00:24:22,863 some food and [bleep]. 637 00:24:22,930 --> 00:24:24,298 - I can't believe how good you look. 638 00:24:24,364 --> 00:24:26,266 Look at your arms. Look at his muscles. 639 00:24:26,333 --> 00:24:27,668 And your color is back. 640 00:24:27,734 --> 00:24:28,802 I mean, because you were gray. 641 00:24:28,869 --> 00:24:30,504 - I've not been clean for 30 years 642 00:24:30,571 --> 00:24:32,472 until now, literally 30 freaking years. 643 00:24:32,539 --> 00:24:34,775 Now that I've not got anything in me, 644 00:24:34,842 --> 00:24:36,877 I'm kind of interested to see what I can do off of them. 645 00:24:36,944 --> 00:24:41,448 - Game plan basically would just be when you got home, 646 00:24:41,515 --> 00:24:43,317 you'll stay in my back room. 647 00:24:43,383 --> 00:24:45,185 - Either that, or I would stay in a trailer. 648 00:24:45,252 --> 00:24:46,553 I'm cool with anything. 649 00:24:46,620 --> 00:24:48,989 - We went and visited Mom, and I think that she 650 00:24:49,056 --> 00:24:50,457 needs to be there longer. 651 00:24:50,524 --> 00:24:52,192 - I was actually surprised when Mom said 652 00:24:52,259 --> 00:24:53,260 that she was ready to go to Texas. 653 00:24:53,327 --> 00:24:54,695 - Yeah. 654 00:24:54,761 --> 00:24:56,263 - Because you know, she's always wanted to be right. 655 00:24:56,330 --> 00:24:57,631 Even when she was wrong, she would never admit she's wrong. 656 00:24:57,698 --> 00:24:58,899 - That's what I'm worried about, 657 00:24:58,966 --> 00:25:00,501 is she's not taking it seriously. 658 00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:02,503 And you guys get home, and then you 659 00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:04,104 don't have a [bleep] backbone. 660 00:25:04,171 --> 00:25:06,573 She's telling you what to do. - I'm not doing that no more. 661 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,208 - If you guys are on two different places, 662 00:25:08,275 --> 00:25:10,010 you got to be in two different places. 663 00:25:10,077 --> 00:25:12,145 - No, I've had a couple of guys ask me here, what happens 664 00:25:12,212 --> 00:25:14,114 if she goes back to using? 665 00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:15,749 I said, well, I'll see if she wants help. 666 00:25:15,816 --> 00:25:17,184 If she don't want help, then she's going to-- 667 00:25:17,251 --> 00:25:18,452 I'm not going to stay. 668 00:25:18,519 --> 00:25:19,620 I'm not dealing with [bleep] no more. 669 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:21,221 I haven't wanted to deal with [bleep] 670 00:25:21,288 --> 00:25:22,823 for the last few years, but I didn't want her to die either, 671 00:25:22,890 --> 00:25:24,625 and that was what I was afraid of. 672 00:25:24,691 --> 00:25:25,993 Because I figured that was what's going to happen, 673 00:25:26,059 --> 00:25:27,561 or I'd die with her. 674 00:25:27,628 --> 00:25:32,499 - But I've seen you shut down and go to a very dark place. 675 00:25:32,566 --> 00:25:33,967 - That part I wish I could do over. 676 00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:35,502 Other than that, I wouldn't do anything 677 00:25:35,569 --> 00:25:37,538 over again because now it's led me to where I am now. 678 00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:39,606 - Yeah. - So. 679 00:25:39,673 --> 00:25:42,176 - Are you all right? 680 00:25:42,242 --> 00:25:44,244 I'm proud of you, Dad. 681 00:25:44,311 --> 00:25:47,247 [soft music] 682 00:25:47,314 --> 00:25:49,550 ♪♪ ♪♪ 683 00:25:49,616 --> 00:25:52,486 I'm proud you're doing better. I want you to be here. 684 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,388 - So do I now. 685 00:25:54,454 --> 00:25:56,123 Because I didn't want to for a long time. 686 00:25:56,190 --> 00:25:58,325 I never wanted to kill myself, but I didn't give a [bleep] 687 00:25:58,392 --> 00:26:00,694 if I died or not. I could have cared less. 688 00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:04,932 - ♪♪ Where we go from here ♪♪ 689 00:26:04,998 --> 00:26:10,904 ♪♪ ♪♪ 690 00:26:10,971 --> 00:26:12,773 - It's so hard for me to read this. 691 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,008 - I know. Do you want me to read it? 692 00:26:15,075 --> 00:26:16,243 - No, I'll continue. 693 00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:19,513 I just--I-- 694 00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:21,481 "I love you so much, and I'm proud of you 695 00:26:21,548 --> 00:26:24,351 for how far you have come." 696 00:26:24,418 --> 00:26:25,719 Wow. - That's it. 697 00:26:25,786 --> 00:26:28,922 [laughs] - That's crazy. 698 00:26:28,989 --> 00:26:31,892 - Jeez. - It's so emotional for me. 699 00:26:31,959 --> 00:26:33,427 - I know. 700 00:26:33,493 --> 00:26:34,494 - So you always blame yourself, you know, 701 00:26:34,561 --> 00:26:36,663 as a mom, or a parent, or whatever. 702 00:26:36,730 --> 00:26:38,832 And just the things you didn't see. 703 00:26:38,899 --> 00:26:40,734 Where was my mind? Where was I? 704 00:26:40,801 --> 00:26:43,103 - I was eight when the sexual abuse happened. 705 00:26:43,170 --> 00:26:45,539 I told lots of people, and then I remember you 706 00:26:45,606 --> 00:26:47,040 coming up to me, and you smacked me. 707 00:26:47,107 --> 00:26:50,077 You said, knock it off, and stop saying that [bleep] 708 00:26:50,143 --> 00:26:51,311 or something like that. 709 00:26:51,378 --> 00:26:53,046 - I thought you were making up a story. 710 00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:54,515 - Yeah, you did. 711 00:26:54,581 --> 00:26:56,083 Oh, you were piss--yeah, when that happened, I was like, 712 00:26:56,149 --> 00:26:57,718 OK, so now I know. 713 00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,253 Like we ain't talking-- we ain't saying 714 00:26:59,319 --> 00:27:00,721 that [bleep] no more. 715 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:03,023 - You know, if I could change things back then, 716 00:27:03,090 --> 00:27:06,360 oh my God, I would have definitely like, 717 00:27:06,426 --> 00:27:07,995 I would have been devastated for you. 718 00:27:08,061 --> 00:27:09,930 - Well, yeah, I mean, but the thing about it is though, 719 00:27:09,997 --> 00:27:11,498 is that I had to go through this experience 720 00:27:11,565 --> 00:27:12,799 so that way I can learn the knowledge, 721 00:27:12,866 --> 00:27:14,201 so I can teach my girls, you know what I mean? 722 00:27:14,268 --> 00:27:15,602 So at least it didn't-- 723 00:27:15,669 --> 00:27:17,471 it's OK, Mom. 724 00:27:17,538 --> 00:27:22,609 ♪♪ ♪♪ 725 00:27:22,676 --> 00:27:25,679 - I just--it's so-- 726 00:27:25,746 --> 00:27:27,147 God, I wish I would have known. 727 00:27:27,214 --> 00:27:29,149 - It's OK. 728 00:27:29,216 --> 00:27:30,450 - It's not OK, Ty. 729 00:27:30,517 --> 00:27:32,085 It's really not OK. 730 00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:34,354 It's not OK. 731 00:27:35,055 --> 00:27:36,990 I just wish I could go back in time 732 00:27:37,057 --> 00:27:38,892 and just take all that away from you. 733 00:27:38,959 --> 00:27:40,827 - You can't protect your kids 24/7. 734 00:27:40,894 --> 00:27:43,830 So my thing, my philosophy with parenting is just like, 735 00:27:43,897 --> 00:27:45,532 hey, listen, all I can do-- 736 00:27:45,599 --> 00:27:48,802 the only armor I can give Nova and all my girls is knowledge. 737 00:27:48,869 --> 00:27:52,506 - Does it help you to know that I'm so remorseful? 738 00:27:52,573 --> 00:27:54,308 - I know you are, Mom. 739 00:27:54,374 --> 00:27:55,976 I don't--I know you are. 740 00:27:56,043 --> 00:27:57,811 I don't need validation. 741 00:27:57,878 --> 00:27:59,479 I know. I know. 742 00:27:59,546 --> 00:28:01,481 - I love you so much. - I love you too. 743 00:28:01,548 --> 00:28:04,818 ♪♪ ♪♪ 744 00:28:10,224 --> 00:28:12,559 - ♪♪ Come on over if you want to ♪♪ 745 00:28:12,626 --> 00:28:15,229 ♪♪ Let's go dancing in the summer light ♪♪ 746 00:28:15,295 --> 00:28:19,499 ♪♪ I hope you do because I want you ♪♪ 747 00:28:19,566 --> 00:28:24,872 ♪♪ Yeah, you're always on my mind ♪♪ 748 00:28:24,938 --> 00:28:27,474 - Taco soup tonight? - Mm-hmm. 749 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:29,743 - I'm going to put it in the crock pot. 750 00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:33,847 - How did your Al-Anon meeting go? 751 00:28:33,914 --> 00:28:36,517 - Good. Very like not scary. 752 00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:40,053 I did not even turn my camera on until like halfway through 753 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,323 because I was like so scared. 754 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:45,926 And then I was like, this isn't scary at all. 755 00:28:45,993 --> 00:28:47,494 This is great. - Yeah. 756 00:28:47,561 --> 00:28:50,831 - I feel like everything that was read or shared, 757 00:28:50,898 --> 00:28:52,699 I learned from. 758 00:28:52,766 --> 00:28:54,368 - You felt like it was all directed towards you? 759 00:28:54,434 --> 00:28:55,669 - Yeah, I was like, [bleep], 760 00:28:55,736 --> 00:28:57,738 did they know I was coming today? 761 00:28:57,804 --> 00:29:00,807 - Did anything come up for you particular 762 00:29:00,874 --> 00:29:02,976 to your situation with Ryan? 763 00:29:03,043 --> 00:29:05,812 - Yeah, it's not my responsibility 764 00:29:05,879 --> 00:29:10,317 to fix the wrongdoings that Ryan's done to Bentley. 765 00:29:10,384 --> 00:29:13,687 Not only is it not my responsibility, but I can't. 766 00:29:13,754 --> 00:29:17,391 I've tried a lot of times to do exactly that, you know, 767 00:29:17,457 --> 00:29:20,093 and only been like let down that I couldn't 768 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,197 or confused or angry, wondering 769 00:29:23,263 --> 00:29:25,165 what I was doing wrong. 770 00:29:25,232 --> 00:29:27,067 I've never heard that before. - Right. 771 00:29:27,134 --> 00:29:31,405 - It's almost like it's like reworking my brain to like 772 00:29:31,471 --> 00:29:34,441 be more gentle with myself. 773 00:29:34,508 --> 00:29:38,645 It's hard to do, but if it were easy, everyone would do it. 774 00:29:38,712 --> 00:29:40,914 - So you're going to do another one? 775 00:29:40,981 --> 00:29:43,717 - Yeah, probably lots more. 776 00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:45,953 - That's cool. 777 00:29:46,019 --> 00:29:48,822 I wish I would have started Al-Anon a long time ago. 778 00:29:48,889 --> 00:29:51,658 I just wasn't ready yet. 779 00:29:51,725 --> 00:29:56,230 The way I avoided my feelings was 780 00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:59,967 like a self-taught survival mechanism 781 00:30:00,033 --> 00:30:04,371 that obviously I picked up when I got pregnant at 16. 782 00:30:04,438 --> 00:30:07,074 You don't have time to freak out. 783 00:30:07,140 --> 00:30:08,809 You don't have time to be sad. 784 00:30:08,876 --> 00:30:12,145 You don't have time to feel sorry for yourself 785 00:30:12,212 --> 00:30:15,048 because I had a kid to take care of. 786 00:30:15,115 --> 00:30:17,050 Al-Anon, it's a game changer. 787 00:30:17,117 --> 00:30:21,655 It just makes you kind of stop and sit with yourself. 788 00:30:21,722 --> 00:30:27,394 Understanding my role in all of this has helped a lot. 789 00:30:27,461 --> 00:30:31,465 Now we just have to get through Ryan's court date. 790 00:30:31,532 --> 00:30:34,868 - ♪♪ So when I call out, will you come my way? ♪♪ 791 00:30:34,935 --> 00:30:37,871 ♪♪ I really love it when you say my name ♪♪ 792 00:30:37,938 --> 00:30:40,140 ♪♪ And all I ever think about is that... ♪♪ 793 00:30:40,207 --> 00:30:41,808 - Hey, guys. 794 00:30:41,875 --> 00:30:44,645 So yesterday I did a thing. 795 00:30:44,711 --> 00:30:49,249 I reached out to Ashley in hopes to clear the air 796 00:30:49,316 --> 00:30:51,051 and make amends, but it didn't work. 797 00:30:51,118 --> 00:30:52,920 She wasn't ready to talk. 798 00:30:52,986 --> 00:30:54,488 I'm letting it go. 799 00:30:54,555 --> 00:30:56,690 I have so much going on in my mind today. 800 00:30:56,757 --> 00:31:00,093 We find out what's going to happen with our shooting case, 801 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,931 if he's going to take a plea, if we're going to go to trial. 802 00:31:03,997 --> 00:31:08,235 It's almost been two years now, and we just want answers. 803 00:31:09,536 --> 00:31:11,305 What are you doing, Zyzee-Wyzee? 804 00:31:11,371 --> 00:31:13,407 Come here, bud. 805 00:31:13,473 --> 00:31:15,509 - Hello. - Hi, babe. 806 00:31:15,576 --> 00:31:17,377 - OK. - What happened? 807 00:31:17,444 --> 00:31:18,645 - The lawyer emailed me. 808 00:31:18,712 --> 00:31:20,180 All right, he said, "Good morning. 809 00:31:20,247 --> 00:31:21,715 "I spoke with the defense counsel briefly. 810 00:31:21,782 --> 00:31:23,784 "He informed me that the defense does not 811 00:31:23,851 --> 00:31:26,353 "want the offer. 812 00:31:26,420 --> 00:31:28,188 "So we're going to move forward with trial dates. 813 00:31:28,255 --> 00:31:30,557 We're looking at trial this summer." 814 00:31:32,326 --> 00:31:35,095 - So if trial, does that mean you guys actually 815 00:31:35,162 --> 00:31:36,997 have to like take the stand? 816 00:31:37,064 --> 00:31:38,198 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 817 00:31:38,265 --> 00:31:39,900 - [groans] 818 00:31:42,369 --> 00:31:44,204 - You OK, Chey? I see you over there. 819 00:31:44,271 --> 00:31:46,373 You look like you're not OK. - No. 820 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,275 I think that I just wanted like-- 821 00:31:48,342 --> 00:31:49,776 - I know, honey. 822 00:31:49,843 --> 00:31:51,211 - To be done. 823 00:31:51,278 --> 00:31:53,714 - I know. 824 00:31:54,615 --> 00:31:57,484 - But it's like, what I feel like in this situation, 825 00:31:57,551 --> 00:32:03,423 nothing has necessarily gone our way from the beginning. 826 00:32:03,490 --> 00:32:05,692 - It sucks it's not over today. 827 00:32:05,759 --> 00:32:07,928 - I feel like I put so much energy into thinking 828 00:32:07,995 --> 00:32:10,163 that this nightmare was going to be over today, 829 00:32:10,230 --> 00:32:11,832 and then it's just not. 830 00:32:11,899 --> 00:32:13,634 - Yeah. 831 00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:18,338 - It's just another [bleep] day, another [bleep] letdown. 832 00:32:18,405 --> 00:32:20,140 Why keep dragging this on? 833 00:32:20,207 --> 00:32:21,575 You know you did it. 834 00:32:21,642 --> 00:32:23,877 Just [bleep] sit there and rot in [bleep] hell. 835 00:32:23,944 --> 00:32:25,812 Everybody's just like, be happy you're alive. 836 00:32:25,879 --> 00:32:28,949 It's like, OK, but what, is this living? 837 00:32:30,517 --> 00:32:32,786 I just feel like he ruined so much 838 00:32:32,853 --> 00:32:36,056 of like my mental capacity, and I just don't 839 00:32:36,123 --> 00:32:39,159 know how much more I can take. 840 00:32:40,060 --> 00:32:43,630 - I know you wanted this to be over before you really start 841 00:32:43,697 --> 00:32:45,866 like your therapy, and just-- 842 00:32:45,933 --> 00:32:48,268 - Please do not talk to me about therapy right now. 843 00:32:48,335 --> 00:32:49,970 - OK. 844 00:32:50,037 --> 00:32:53,473 - I'm so over everybody trying to throw some random ass person 845 00:32:53,540 --> 00:32:55,108 for me to talk to and thinking that that's 846 00:32:55,175 --> 00:32:56,243 going to solve all my issues. 847 00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:58,212 It's not. 848 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:01,949 - I'll go check on the kids. 849 00:33:02,015 --> 00:33:04,952 [soft music] 850 00:33:05,018 --> 00:33:11,692 ♪♪ ♪♪ 851 00:33:15,863 --> 00:33:16,897 - ♪♪ It's the end of the things ♪♪ 852 00:33:16,964 --> 00:33:20,100 ♪♪ I don't need in my life ♪♪ 853 00:33:20,167 --> 00:33:21,768 ♪♪ Waking up to the sun ♪♪ 854 00:33:21,835 --> 00:33:23,203 - I can't wait till you come home. 855 00:33:23,270 --> 00:33:24,571 - I can't wait till I come home either. 856 00:33:24,638 --> 00:33:25,772 - I know. 857 00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:26,874 All right, love you, Dad. 858 00:33:26,940 --> 00:33:28,509 See you when you get home. 859 00:33:28,575 --> 00:33:29,710 - One of these days. 860 00:33:29,776 --> 00:33:30,911 - I'll be waiting. 861 00:33:30,978 --> 00:33:32,246 - We'll be waiting. - Bye. 862 00:33:32,312 --> 00:33:34,548 I love you. Text me if you need me. 863 00:33:34,615 --> 00:33:36,483 - I will. 864 00:33:36,550 --> 00:33:38,185 [upbeat music] 865 00:33:38,252 --> 00:33:42,322 - Well, this has been a trip, man. 866 00:33:42,389 --> 00:33:43,490 - Yeah. 867 00:33:43,557 --> 00:33:45,926 - Oh, Lord, it's been a trip. 868 00:33:45,993 --> 00:33:47,160 I'm going to call my mom's counselor 869 00:33:47,227 --> 00:33:49,296 before we hit the road. 870 00:33:50,664 --> 00:33:52,599 [phone line trilling] 871 00:33:52,666 --> 00:33:53,800 - Hello? 872 00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:55,402 - Hey, Cathy. It's Jade. 873 00:33:55,469 --> 00:33:57,337 - Hey, Jade. How are you? 874 00:33:57,404 --> 00:33:58,872 - I'm doing OK. 875 00:33:58,939 --> 00:34:02,342 I just wanted to run over some mutual concerns 876 00:34:02,409 --> 00:34:05,245 that me and my aunt had while kind of just, 877 00:34:05,312 --> 00:34:08,282 you know, observing my mom's behavior. 878 00:34:08,348 --> 00:34:10,017 She was like, oh, I want to go home 879 00:34:10,083 --> 00:34:11,451 and we should all do bingo together. 880 00:34:11,518 --> 00:34:12,953 And I was like--and me and my aunt just looked 881 00:34:13,020 --> 00:34:14,388 at her like, what? 882 00:34:14,454 --> 00:34:16,190 - What? - You have a [bleep] addiction. 883 00:34:16,256 --> 00:34:18,225 You have a problem. That's gambling. 884 00:34:18,292 --> 00:34:20,961 You think I'm overreacting, or do you think it's something 885 00:34:21,028 --> 00:34:23,030 that should be a concern? 886 00:34:23,096 --> 00:34:24,698 - You're not overreacting. 887 00:34:24,765 --> 00:34:27,334 - It's like you're not whole-heartedly there. 888 00:34:27,401 --> 00:34:29,269 You're just trying to do this, and then you're going 889 00:34:29,336 --> 00:34:31,138 to come home and be like, well, I finished it. 890 00:34:31,205 --> 00:34:32,706 I'm sober. Everything's back to normal. 891 00:34:32,773 --> 00:34:33,974 We're good. 892 00:34:34,041 --> 00:34:35,475 And I'm like, no, this is a continuous work 893 00:34:35,542 --> 00:34:37,277 in progress for years. 894 00:34:37,344 --> 00:34:39,646 And even now, like, with seeing my dad, 895 00:34:39,713 --> 00:34:43,617 and seeing how serious my dad is taking this, 896 00:34:43,684 --> 00:34:46,820 like I feel like I've seen two different-- 897 00:34:46,887 --> 00:34:48,956 two different experiences. 898 00:34:49,022 --> 00:34:51,024 - I would agree with you 100%. 899 00:34:51,091 --> 00:34:52,659 - She's supposed to come home in a couple weeks, 900 00:34:52,726 --> 00:34:55,829 and I'm like, I almost feel like her staying longer 901 00:34:55,896 --> 00:34:57,731 would be better, but I feel like she 902 00:34:57,798 --> 00:34:59,499 would just lose her [bleep]. 903 00:34:59,566 --> 00:35:02,503 - Yeah, she would. - She would lose her [bleep]. 904 00:35:02,569 --> 00:35:05,072 - Let me sit with her tomorrow and talk 905 00:35:05,138 --> 00:35:06,773 about what this is going to look like. 906 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,343 - OK, I'll probably give you a call once we get back home 907 00:35:09,409 --> 00:35:11,578 and I get settled because I feel like I'm just-- 908 00:35:11,645 --> 00:35:12,980 I'm spiraling. 909 00:35:13,046 --> 00:35:15,983 ♪♪ ♪♪ 910 00:35:16,049 --> 00:35:17,584 [sighs] 911 00:35:17,651 --> 00:35:19,386 She's going to talk to my mom about staying longer. 912 00:35:19,453 --> 00:35:22,322 - You know, maybe she'll take it even more seriously. 913 00:35:22,389 --> 00:35:24,057 - Yeah. 914 00:35:24,124 --> 00:35:27,261 - So do you feel like you got a breakthrough with your dad? 915 00:35:27,327 --> 00:35:29,329 - Yeah, I feel like I was surprised. 916 00:35:29,396 --> 00:35:31,532 Even when the cameras were down and we were privately 917 00:35:31,598 --> 00:35:33,100 just hanging out, it was the same. 918 00:35:33,166 --> 00:35:35,068 It was genuine. - All genuine. 919 00:35:35,135 --> 00:35:37,905 I think he is going to be the best grandfather 920 00:35:37,971 --> 00:35:39,873 he could ever be, you know? 921 00:35:39,940 --> 00:35:42,142 - Yeah, I feel like I'm just-- 922 00:35:43,544 --> 00:35:44,878 - You're OK. 923 00:35:44,945 --> 00:35:47,147 - I'm just so overwhelmed. 924 00:35:47,214 --> 00:35:48,682 - I know. It's hard. 925 00:35:48,749 --> 00:35:52,986 - I'm just emotionally, like, I'm just drained. 926 00:35:53,053 --> 00:35:56,523 I just want, I just want my family to be OK. 927 00:35:56,590 --> 00:35:59,660 - This is a hard thing to step up and face. 928 00:35:59,726 --> 00:36:03,330 - I'm like concerned in my heart and in my gut. 929 00:36:03,397 --> 00:36:05,165 I'm like, I don't think that you're ready. 930 00:36:05,232 --> 00:36:09,203 Like I just don't think that she is. 931 00:36:09,269 --> 00:36:10,637 - Like they said-- 932 00:36:10,704 --> 00:36:13,407 - If she comes home too soon, like, and she fails. 933 00:36:13,473 --> 00:36:15,776 - If she comes home too soon, she will fail. 934 00:36:15,843 --> 00:36:18,812 - [crying] 935 00:36:18,879 --> 00:36:20,480 [tense music] 936 00:36:20,547 --> 00:36:23,350 And I just, I feel like I just, 937 00:36:23,417 --> 00:36:26,987 I can't live with myself if I feel like I haven't been 938 00:36:27,054 --> 00:36:29,656 able to save both of them. 939 00:36:32,793 --> 00:36:35,128 - ♪♪ We are there ♪♪ 940 00:36:35,195 --> 00:36:37,898 ♪♪ We are there ♪♪ 941 00:36:37,965 --> 00:36:41,101 ♪♪ If we got that move ♪♪ 942 00:36:41,168 --> 00:36:43,203 ♪♪ Yeah, yeah ♪♪ 943 00:36:43,270 --> 00:36:45,172 [upbeat music] 944 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,341 - We're going to go to our old trailer. 945 00:36:47,407 --> 00:36:48,775 - OK. - Read this letter. 946 00:36:48,842 --> 00:36:50,177 - And it Grandma turn. 947 00:36:50,244 --> 00:36:51,712 - Oh, yeah, it's my turn. 948 00:36:51,778 --> 00:36:52,980 OK. Yeah. 949 00:36:53,046 --> 00:36:54,515 - It's a cat! - OK. 950 00:36:54,581 --> 00:36:55,849 Say bye, Mom. 951 00:36:55,916 --> 00:36:57,351 - Bye, Mom. - Bye, Mom. 952 00:36:57,417 --> 00:36:58,719 - I love you. - Thank you. 953 00:36:58,785 --> 00:36:59,853 - Bye-bye. 954 00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:03,156 - ♪♪ Let's let go ♪♪ 955 00:37:03,223 --> 00:37:06,660 ♪♪ If we hold on any longer ♪♪ 956 00:37:06,727 --> 00:37:09,530 ♪♪ We'll drown in endless water ♪♪ 957 00:37:09,596 --> 00:37:12,132 - I did not expect her to get that emotional, Jesus. 958 00:37:12,199 --> 00:37:13,800 - Well, she's your mama. 959 00:37:13,867 --> 00:37:15,302 Of course she's going to get emotional. 960 00:37:15,369 --> 00:37:17,804 - She just held on to a lot of guilt. 961 00:37:18,939 --> 00:37:20,240 - Right. Yeah. 962 00:37:20,307 --> 00:37:22,576 - My mom said it was the third one. 963 00:37:22,643 --> 00:37:24,244 - Sure, this looks like it. - Oh, that is it. 964 00:37:24,311 --> 00:37:27,047 - Yeah. - What? 965 00:37:27,114 --> 00:37:28,715 Yeah, it was that. That's mine. 966 00:37:28,782 --> 00:37:29,917 Yeah. Wow. 967 00:37:29,983 --> 00:37:31,818 It looks totally different, dude. 968 00:37:34,855 --> 00:37:36,590 Oh, my God. 969 00:37:36,657 --> 00:37:38,158 Dude! 970 00:37:38,225 --> 00:37:39,660 It never was like this before. 971 00:37:39,726 --> 00:37:41,828 - That's so funny. - That's crazy. 972 00:37:41,895 --> 00:37:43,397 OK. 973 00:37:43,463 --> 00:37:45,766 Should I read this now? - Sure. 974 00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:53,907 OK, dear me. 975 00:37:53,974 --> 00:37:56,777 First off, I want to tell you that I'm sorry that you're 976 00:37:56,844 --> 00:37:59,146 inevitably going to experience a lot of pain 977 00:37:59,213 --> 00:38:00,380 in your young life. 978 00:38:00,447 --> 00:38:02,616 I also want you to undoubtedly understand 979 00:38:02,683 --> 00:38:04,651 that none of that pain is your fault. 980 00:38:04,718 --> 00:38:06,420 There will come a time in your life 981 00:38:06,486 --> 00:38:08,355 when that pain is so excruciating 982 00:38:08,422 --> 00:38:12,226 that the only remedy for the unbearable suffering-- 983 00:38:20,567 --> 00:38:23,737 That the only remedy for the unbearable suffering 984 00:38:23,804 --> 00:38:25,772 you're feeling is to die. 985 00:38:28,775 --> 00:38:32,379 But I'm here to tell you that you will survive for a reason. 986 00:38:32,446 --> 00:38:34,248 And that reason has a name. 987 00:38:34,314 --> 00:38:37,284 It's Cate. - Mm, Ty. 988 00:38:37,351 --> 00:38:40,254 - You will meet the most purest example of love 989 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,222 that you've ever felt or witnessed 990 00:38:42,289 --> 00:38:43,790 in your life because of her. 991 00:38:43,857 --> 00:38:47,661 She will show you how you truly are worthy of love. 992 00:38:47,728 --> 00:38:49,463 She will prove to you why you weren't 993 00:38:49,530 --> 00:38:51,598 supposed to die that day. 994 00:38:51,665 --> 00:38:54,701 You will fall madly in love, and that love 995 00:38:54,768 --> 00:38:57,337 will result in the other reason you survived. 996 00:38:57,404 --> 00:38:59,339 And that's to be a father, 997 00:38:59,406 --> 00:39:01,475 to bring four beautiful children 998 00:39:01,542 --> 00:39:04,244 into the world, to give those children 999 00:39:04,311 --> 00:39:05,846 the father you never had. 1000 00:39:05,913 --> 00:39:07,915 And by giving them that, you will break 1001 00:39:07,981 --> 00:39:10,150 so many generational traumas. 1002 00:39:10,217 --> 00:39:12,519 So please just be kind to yourself 1003 00:39:12,586 --> 00:39:14,555 as you experience these things. 1004 00:39:14,621 --> 00:39:16,523 I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you 1005 00:39:16,590 --> 00:39:19,526 for how far you have come. 1006 00:39:19,593 --> 00:39:22,129 [laughs] 1007 00:39:22,196 --> 00:39:23,964 [bleep] 1008 00:39:25,899 --> 00:39:27,801 - Oh, I love you. 1009 00:39:27,868 --> 00:39:29,670 - I love you. 1010 00:39:29,736 --> 00:39:35,475 - ♪♪ Thought I needed space to keep me alive ♪♪ 1011 00:39:35,542 --> 00:39:41,281 ♪♪ I guess that I just needed you by my side ♪♪ 1012 00:39:41,348 --> 00:39:47,254 ♪♪ Thought I needed hearts to give me that love ♪♪ 1013 00:39:47,321 --> 00:39:52,092 ♪♪ I guess that I just needed eyes to look from above ♪♪ 1014 00:39:52,159 --> 00:39:54,628 ♪♪ I'm standing on two feet ♪♪ 1015 00:39:54,695 --> 00:39:57,865 ♪♪ But I'm trying to make believe ♪♪ 1016 00:39:57,931 --> 00:40:03,537 ♪♪ It feels like I don't have anything ♪♪ 1017 00:40:03,604 --> 00:40:06,473 ♪♪ And I'm not hesitating ♪♪ 1018 00:40:06,540 --> 00:40:09,776 ♪♪ But I'm wanting to take a leap ♪♪ 1019 00:40:09,843 --> 00:40:13,981 ♪♪ You told me that I can feel anything ♪♪ 1020 00:40:14,047 --> 00:40:16,650 - [crying] 1021 00:40:16,717 --> 00:40:19,520 - ♪♪ I'm trying to swim ♪♪ 1022 00:40:19,586 --> 00:40:24,458 ♪♪ But the water's too thin to hold me ♪♪ 1023 00:40:24,525 --> 00:40:29,062 ♪♪ Too thin to hold me ♪♪ 1024 00:40:29,129 --> 00:40:32,933 ♪♪ So I guess I'll just hold my breath ♪♪ 1025 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,569 ♪♪ And float away ♪♪ 1026 00:40:39,907 --> 00:40:40,841 - Next on "Teen Mom: The Next Chapter"... 1027 00:40:40,908 --> 00:40:41,808 - I'm going through a break up, 1028 00:40:41,875 --> 00:40:42,776 getting myself back out there. 1029 00:40:42,843 --> 00:40:45,078 - There you go, yes! 1030 00:40:45,145 --> 00:40:48,182 - I feel like I'm just having such a hard time. 1031 00:40:48,248 --> 00:40:49,650 It's not safe. 1032 00:40:49,716 --> 00:40:51,552 - Don't panic. Just pull over, leave the car. 1033 00:40:51,618 --> 00:40:54,121 - I want to go over what you want to discuss today. 1034 00:40:54,188 --> 00:40:56,890 - I would like if my sister can adopt Stella. 1035 00:40:56,957 --> 00:40:59,860 - I talked to Mom, and she just flips the [bleep] out 1036 00:40:59,927 --> 00:41:02,162 and then signs against medical advice to leave. 1037 00:41:02,229 --> 00:41:04,064 - We're gonna go see Carly. 1038 00:41:06,133 --> 00:41:07,634 - Whoever you bring, you're sharing 1039 00:41:07,701 --> 00:41:10,370 that time with them, so you have to think about that. 1040 00:41:15,108 --> 00:41:18,011 [upbeat rock music] 1041 00:41:18,078 --> 00:41:24,985 ♪♪ ♪♪