1 00:00:01,953 --> 00:00:02,786 [rachel crying] 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:04,104 [man] shh. 3 00:00:04,122 --> 00:00:05,772 Rachel, rachel. 4 00:00:05,865 --> 00:00:07,049 It's okay. 5 00:00:07,276 --> 00:00:08,633 It's okay... 6 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,203 It's just me. 7 00:00:12,297 --> 00:00:13,296 [rachel crying] 8 00:00:13,390 --> 00:00:15,057 Shh. Be still. 9 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:23,306 Shh. Rachel, rachel, rachel. 10 00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,809 Shh. 11 00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:29,720 [in german] ♪ schlaf, kindlein, schlaf ♪ 12 00:00:29,815 --> 00:00:35,302 ♪ der vater hüt die shaf ♪ 13 00:00:35,395 --> 00:00:41,324 ♪ die mutter schüttelts bäumelein ♪ 14 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:46,663 ♪ da fällt herab ein träumelein ♪ 15 00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:48,757 -Ow! -Shh, shh, shh. 16 00:00:50,761 --> 00:00:55,097 ♪ schlaf, kindlein, schlaf... ♪ 17 00:00:57,175 --> 00:01:00,084 [man's voice echoing] shh. Rachel. 18 00:01:00,178 --> 00:01:02,162 Rachel, rachel, rachel... 19 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:04,013 [bishop] rachel albrecht, 20 00:01:04,108 --> 00:01:05,665 Do you believe 21 00:01:05,758 --> 00:01:08,001 In the one true, eternal, almighty god? 22 00:01:08,019 --> 00:01:09,018 Yes. 23 00:01:09,113 --> 00:01:10,612 Do you believe 24 00:01:10,763 --> 00:01:14,841 That jesus christ is the only savior of mankind? 25 00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:15,859 Yes. 26 00:01:15,953 --> 00:01:17,861 Do you promise 27 00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:21,623 To commit yourself to christ, his word, and his church, 28 00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:24,751 And to abide in the same for the rest of your life? 29 00:01:27,022 --> 00:01:28,521 Yes. 30 00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:31,040 Rachel, upon confession of your faith 31 00:01:31,135 --> 00:01:33,543 And commitment to god 32 00:01:33,695 --> 00:01:35,119 In front of these witnesses, 33 00:01:35,139 --> 00:01:37,622 We baptize you 34 00:01:37,716 --> 00:01:39,641 In the name of the father... 35 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:43,228 ...And in the name of the son... 36 00:01:44,797 --> 00:01:48,299 ...And in the name of the holy spirit. 37 00:01:48,318 --> 00:01:50,944 May this baptism wash you clean. 38 00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:55,398 ♪ wondrous love ♪ 39 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:58,493 ♪ vast as the ocean ♪ 40 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,056 ♪ loving-kindness as the flood ♪ 41 00:02:03,149 --> 00:02:08,319 ♪ when the prince of life our ransom ♪ 42 00:02:08,413 --> 00:02:13,066 ♪ shed for us his precious blood ♪ 43 00:02:13,084 --> 00:02:18,071 ♪ who his love will not remember ♪ 44 00:02:18,164 --> 00:02:23,000 ♪ who can cease to sing his praise ♪ 45 00:02:23,094 --> 00:02:28,023 ♪ he can never be forgotten... ♪ 46 00:02:28,174 --> 00:02:30,317 [indistinct conversations] 47 00:02:32,754 --> 00:02:34,604 [man] god bless you. 48 00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:36,105 [nate] her name's grace. 49 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,015 She's an amazing photographer. 50 00:02:38,109 --> 00:02:39,776 [isabel] yeah, well, anyone who can make you look good. 51 00:02:39,928 --> 00:02:41,036 You know, she was there 52 00:02:41,263 --> 00:02:42,687 Just taking photos of amish people, 53 00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:44,497 But there are some mennonites who lied to get their photo. 54 00:02:47,285 --> 00:02:49,619 Put it away. It's wrong. It's worldly. 55 00:02:49,713 --> 00:02:51,438 I made a promise to god just 20 minutes ago-- 56 00:02:51,456 --> 00:02:52,380 I know. 57 00:02:52,532 --> 00:02:53,364 I'm sorry. 58 00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:54,958 I know how important today was. 59 00:02:55,052 --> 00:02:56,384 Yeah. 60 00:02:56,536 --> 00:02:58,136 [isabel] only the most important day of your entire life. 61 00:02:59,448 --> 00:03:01,798 So... Do you feel different? 62 00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:03,800 I do. 63 00:03:03,952 --> 00:03:06,228 I feel... 64 00:03:06,455 --> 00:03:07,354 Responsible. 65 00:03:08,807 --> 00:03:10,306 I don't know if I'm ready. 66 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,641 It's like going through a door 67 00:03:11,793 --> 00:03:14,051 That you can never go back through. 68 00:03:14,145 --> 00:03:15,979 I can see my whole life now. 69 00:03:16,073 --> 00:03:19,315 Family, church, god... 70 00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:20,575 You can get married now. 71 00:03:25,082 --> 00:03:27,249 You know what, maybe I should get baptized. 72 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,917 -[laughs] -[nate] what? 73 00:03:30,087 --> 00:03:31,736 You're not done running around yet. 74 00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:33,088 You love rumspringa too much. 75 00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:34,497 I do, okay? 76 00:03:34,591 --> 00:03:35,665 No, you're not ready. 77 00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:38,001 You love worldly things too much. 78 00:03:38,095 --> 00:03:39,502 -And you love yourself too much. -Junky car. 79 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:40,911 If you got baptized, 80 00:03:40,931 --> 00:03:42,171 You'd do something or say something the first week 81 00:03:42,266 --> 00:03:43,323 And you'd be shunned, 82 00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:45,158 And then it would be goodbye, nate. 83 00:03:45,176 --> 00:03:46,685 Straight to hell. 84 00:03:48,513 --> 00:03:50,063 Maybe you're right. 85 00:03:52,091 --> 00:03:54,901 [♪♪] 86 00:04:04,529 --> 00:04:07,956 [♪♪] 87 00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:19,634 You're idling. 88 00:04:19,861 --> 00:04:21,636 No, it's... 89 00:04:21,788 --> 00:04:22,721 -It's just that-- -what? 90 00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,600 There's something. Look. 91 00:04:30,147 --> 00:04:31,037 It's perfect. 92 00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:33,398 Those beans are getting cold. 93 00:04:35,226 --> 00:04:36,109 Yes, mem. 94 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:43,158 [♪♪] 95 00:04:52,002 --> 00:04:55,295 [♪♪] 96 00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,732 [bevin] dat! 97 00:04:59,751 --> 00:05:01,250 Dat! 98 00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:02,427 [dat] what is it, bb? 99 00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:06,181 What happened? 100 00:05:06,408 --> 00:05:07,998 A splinter. 101 00:05:08,093 --> 00:05:09,476 Well, let's see what we can do. 102 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:17,917 Whoa. Easy now, bb. 103 00:05:17,936 --> 00:05:19,009 I would never hurt you. 104 00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:20,445 Never. 105 00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:24,366 You know, I once heard a story 106 00:05:24,517 --> 00:05:25,367 About a little boy 107 00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:26,868 Who had a splinter in his finger, 108 00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:29,019 Just like you, 109 00:05:29,114 --> 00:05:30,372 And he did not take it out. 110 00:05:31,616 --> 00:05:33,858 And it became an apple tree! 111 00:05:33,952 --> 00:05:37,770 And when he would clap his hands, 112 00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:39,622 Apples would fall down everywhere! 113 00:05:39,716 --> 00:05:41,532 [laughs] 114 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:43,610 There! It's out! 115 00:05:43,703 --> 00:05:45,553 I'll plant it and we'll have apple pie! 116 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,888 Now, go on. 117 00:05:53,288 --> 00:05:54,062 The unbroken thread, my daughter. 118 00:05:55,306 --> 00:05:56,139 You are now a part of it. 119 00:05:56,233 --> 00:05:58,566 We have an obligation 120 00:05:58,718 --> 00:06:00,793 To those who came before and to those who come after. 121 00:06:00,812 --> 00:06:03,220 "I know that the lord will maintain 122 00:06:03,314 --> 00:06:05,298 The cause of the afflicted." 123 00:06:05,316 --> 00:06:06,574 "and will execute justice for the needy." 124 00:06:09,654 --> 00:06:11,320 Baptism is not the end of something. 125 00:06:11,473 --> 00:06:12,472 It is the beginning. 126 00:06:12,565 --> 00:06:15,308 A marriage, a home, a family. 127 00:06:15,326 --> 00:06:16,751 A man to serve. 128 00:06:16,978 --> 00:06:17,994 Yes, I know. 129 00:06:18,146 --> 00:06:19,570 God has a plan for you. 130 00:06:19,664 --> 00:06:20,480 You don't want to let him down. 131 00:06:20,498 --> 00:06:21,923 Yes, mem. 132 00:06:32,343 --> 00:06:34,677 Mem? 133 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,271 Do you remember when I had scarlet fever? 134 00:06:36,498 --> 00:06:37,355 Mm-hmm. 135 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:40,775 I liked that fever. 136 00:06:42,854 --> 00:06:43,928 I liked the way 137 00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:45,196 Everything swam around and changed color. 138 00:06:46,283 --> 00:06:47,340 I wasn't scared. 139 00:06:47,433 --> 00:06:48,741 I tried to tell you. Do you remember? 140 00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:51,936 I still look for 141 00:06:51,955 --> 00:06:53,413 That fever beauty in this world. 142 00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:57,533 And sometimes, just-- 143 00:06:57,686 --> 00:06:59,043 Sometimes, I see it and it makes me cry. 144 00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:07,469 Genesis, exodus, leviticus, numbers... 145 00:07:07,696 --> 00:07:08,544 [man] hello. 146 00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:10,213 Does anyone live here? 147 00:07:10,307 --> 00:07:12,456 Iddo! Uncle iddo's here! 148 00:07:12,476 --> 00:07:14,100 [iddo] I'm looking for lucas! 149 00:07:15,294 --> 00:07:16,703 [iddo laughs] ha-hah! There he is! 150 00:07:16,796 --> 00:07:18,871 Where's your brother? Come, come, come! 151 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:20,223 Oh, you're so strong now. 152 00:07:20,317 --> 00:07:23,634 [mem] rachel! Rachel! 153 00:07:23,728 --> 00:07:24,486 [iddo] look what I brought. 154 00:07:24,713 --> 00:07:26,879 Don't show your dad. 155 00:07:26,898 --> 00:07:28,615 [mem] uncle iddo is here! 156 00:07:29,809 --> 00:07:31,718 [iddo] and now I'm behind this truck-- 157 00:07:31,811 --> 00:07:33,236 And the driver's giving me the wave. 158 00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:34,996 He wants me to pass him! 159 00:07:35,147 --> 00:07:39,167 And I'm shouting, "hello! I'm driving a horse!" 160 00:07:39,318 --> 00:07:40,576 [laughing] 161 00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,837 A tired horse! 162 00:07:44,916 --> 00:07:45,798 Rachel. 163 00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:48,843 Rachel, say hello to your uncle iddo. 164 00:07:51,848 --> 00:07:53,406 Hello. 165 00:07:53,424 --> 00:07:54,907 He brought you a present. 166 00:07:55,001 --> 00:07:56,518 [iddo whispers] do you want to give it for me? 167 00:07:58,429 --> 00:07:59,979 Come on, open it! 168 00:08:01,432 --> 00:08:03,432 [iddo] forgive me for missing your baptism, rachel. 169 00:08:03,585 --> 00:08:07,028 I had an emergency at the shop and I just couldn't get away. 170 00:08:07,179 --> 00:08:08,271 I'll always regret 171 00:08:08,423 --> 00:08:10,773 Not seeing you enter the kingdom of heaven. 172 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,784 Seeing you reach your hand from one world into the next. 173 00:08:15,688 --> 00:08:17,930 That flower will wither in a few days, 174 00:08:17,949 --> 00:08:19,707 But your soul will shine forever in the eyes of heaven. 175 00:08:21,452 --> 00:08:22,693 You made god happy today. 176 00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:23,670 Amen. 177 00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:27,364 [mem] are you spending the night? 178 00:08:27,458 --> 00:08:28,291 [iddo] no. I wanted to stop by. 179 00:08:28,385 --> 00:08:29,676 Such an important day. 180 00:08:31,613 --> 00:08:33,296 But I have to be at the shop in the morning. 181 00:08:33,448 --> 00:08:35,873 Come on, uncle iddo! Please stay! 182 00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:36,783 [iddo] another time! 183 00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:37,892 Please! Please! 184 00:08:38,044 --> 00:08:40,019 I promise! 185 00:08:43,066 --> 00:08:44,715 -Bye! -Goodbye! 186 00:08:44,809 --> 00:08:46,125 -Bye, uncle iddo! 187 00:08:46,144 --> 00:08:47,643 Come back soon! 188 00:08:47,737 --> 00:08:48,886 Bye, uncle iddo! 189 00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:50,238 [iddo] be good to your mem. 190 00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:52,315 And don't forget to say your prayers. 191 00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:54,650 I'll be checking next week. 192 00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:55,818 I'll see you then. 193 00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:57,153 [boy] we'll miss you. 194 00:08:57,247 --> 00:08:58,154 [iddo] okay, goodbye. 195 00:08:58,248 --> 00:08:59,372 [boy] bye, uncle iddo! 196 00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:07,714 Bishop. 197 00:09:08,908 --> 00:09:09,832 Neighbors. 198 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:10,842 I... 199 00:09:15,265 --> 00:09:16,764 I need to confess a sin. 200 00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:22,103 I had... 201 00:09:25,275 --> 00:09:27,424 I was inappropriate... 202 00:09:27,518 --> 00:09:30,236 With my daughter's friend, anna lapp. 203 00:09:34,934 --> 00:09:37,285 Several times. 204 00:09:38,604 --> 00:09:39,454 In our house. 205 00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:45,918 I was weak... 206 00:09:48,114 --> 00:09:49,130 ...And I fell. 207 00:09:52,861 --> 00:09:54,451 I recognize the error of my ways 208 00:09:54,471 --> 00:09:57,546 And... 209 00:09:57,641 --> 00:09:58,431 I accept your judgement. 210 00:10:01,719 --> 00:10:03,811 This transgression cannot go unpunished. 211 00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:07,223 As always, 212 00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:09,776 We look to the words of jesus christ for guidance. 213 00:10:11,546 --> 00:10:14,397 We also look into our own hearts 214 00:10:14,491 --> 00:10:16,157 And ask ourselves, 215 00:10:16,384 --> 00:10:17,900 "who are we? 216 00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:19,810 What do we stand for? 217 00:10:19,904 --> 00:10:21,412 What is it that sets us apart?" 218 00:10:23,816 --> 00:10:27,560 As the lord has forgiven you, 219 00:10:27,578 --> 00:10:29,170 So you must also forgive. 220 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:33,323 Anna, can you find it in your heart 221 00:10:33,418 --> 00:10:35,134 To forgive this man? 222 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,110 I forgive you. 223 00:11:00,445 --> 00:11:01,761 [bishop] if this young woman 224 00:11:01,854 --> 00:11:03,446 Can find forgiveness in her heart, 225 00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:06,098 Then we have no choice 226 00:11:06,192 --> 00:11:08,334 But to follow her toward the grace of god. 227 00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:11,195 Malachi stoltzfus, 228 00:11:11,214 --> 00:11:13,798 You will be put on proving for six weeks. 229 00:11:15,276 --> 00:11:16,200 If we are satisfied 230 00:11:16,294 --> 00:11:19,628 As to the earnestness of your penance, 231 00:11:19,723 --> 00:11:20,888 You will be forgiven. 232 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,056 You may sit. 233 00:11:32,977 --> 00:11:34,736 I think malachi did well. 234 00:11:37,389 --> 00:11:38,364 Poor girl. 235 00:11:39,725 --> 00:11:42,802 But she probably tempted him. 236 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:44,912 Daughters of eve. 237 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,165 [tour guide giving a tour on the amish community] 238 00:11:48,493 --> 00:11:50,084 Have fun in hell! 239 00:12:02,507 --> 00:12:04,657 It's okay. I know it's... 240 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,676 Isn't iddo a bit old for her? 241 00:12:07,771 --> 00:12:09,161 Leah was the youngest. 242 00:12:09,255 --> 00:12:10,921 Only 25 when she was in the accident. 243 00:12:11,015 --> 00:12:13,499 And iddo's what... Only 35? 244 00:12:13,518 --> 00:12:15,351 Of course, we would not mention it to her 245 00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:18,354 Without your approval. 246 00:12:18,506 --> 00:12:20,523 He's a good man, though. You're right about that. 247 00:12:20,675 --> 00:12:22,008 He's already part of the family. 248 00:12:22,101 --> 00:12:24,176 He's good to everyone. Such a big heart. 249 00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:25,528 He's doing very well in his furniture business. 250 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,104 And iddo is healthy. 251 00:12:27,123 --> 00:12:28,030 They could have a big family. 252 00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:29,106 Eight, ten... 253 00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:31,534 He's a sober and responsible man. 254 00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:33,035 And there's something else. 255 00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:34,870 The way he looks at her. 256 00:12:34,964 --> 00:12:35,871 He likes her. 257 00:12:36,024 --> 00:12:37,189 Sara, don't presume. 258 00:12:37,283 --> 00:12:38,800 You do not know what is in someone else's heart. 259 00:12:39,027 --> 00:12:40,192 I know him. 260 00:12:40,211 --> 00:12:42,637 We can't force this. We can only suggest it. 261 00:12:42,788 --> 00:12:44,363 Of course, 262 00:12:44,382 --> 00:12:46,699 But rachel is a practical girl and she respects your opinion. 263 00:12:46,717 --> 00:12:48,367 It is her choice. 264 00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:49,310 Of course. 265 00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:50,553 We know that. 266 00:12:50,647 --> 00:12:51,395 Thank you, bishop. 267 00:12:55,301 --> 00:12:57,276 God, I need you right now. 268 00:12:59,714 --> 00:13:01,155 You need to help me. 269 00:13:01,307 --> 00:13:02,490 I can't do this. 270 00:13:06,145 --> 00:13:08,162 [♪♪] 271 00:13:09,724 --> 00:13:11,332 [mem moans] 272 00:13:16,898 --> 00:13:17,964 [mem moans] 273 00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:21,992 [rachel] mem! 274 00:13:22,086 --> 00:13:23,660 Mem, are you-- are you okay? 275 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,304 Yes, I'm fine. 276 00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:33,929 -Do you need water or something? -Yes, some water. 277 00:13:34,023 --> 00:13:35,189 Okay. 278 00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:37,984 I'm-I'm just tired. 279 00:13:39,437 --> 00:13:41,270 Mem, I don't think you look like you're doing okay. 280 00:13:41,422 --> 00:13:43,364 I'm fine, liebchen. 281 00:13:44,868 --> 00:13:46,183 Okay. 282 00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:47,493 Here. 283 00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,873 Now you're taking care of me. It's funny. 284 00:13:56,287 --> 00:13:57,962 I'm feeling better. 285 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,548 My mother used to get these. 286 00:14:00,699 --> 00:14:01,774 She would have to sit down 287 00:14:01,792 --> 00:14:03,384 And everybody would take care of her. 288 00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:06,387 She used to call them her little vacations. 289 00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:10,282 Mem... 290 00:14:10,301 --> 00:14:11,517 I need to talk to you about something. 291 00:14:12,787 --> 00:14:14,145 What is it? 292 00:14:15,565 --> 00:14:17,139 It's about iddo. 293 00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:19,808 Oh, I forgot to tell you. He's... He's here. 294 00:14:19,903 --> 00:14:20,960 What? 295 00:14:21,053 --> 00:14:22,069 He came over. He's spending the night. 296 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,630 Where is he? 297 00:14:24,649 --> 00:14:25,555 Do you know he fixed that chair in the living room. 298 00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:26,866 -One, two, three. -Where is he now? 299 00:14:28,894 --> 00:14:30,036 He's upstairs putting bevin to sleep. 300 00:14:36,568 --> 00:14:41,088 [iddo, singing] ♪ die mutter schüttelts bäumelein ♪ 301 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:46,743 ♪ da fällt herab ein träumelein ♪ 302 00:14:46,837 --> 00:14:51,081 ♪ schlaf, kindlein, schlaf ♪ 303 00:14:51,175 --> 00:14:55,937 ♪ der vater hüt die shaf ♪ 304 00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,773 Shh. 305 00:15:15,366 --> 00:15:17,375 We've hardly had a chance to talk since your baptism. 306 00:15:19,704 --> 00:15:21,295 I've always had a special place in my heart for you. 307 00:15:23,282 --> 00:15:24,281 You know you can always count on me. 308 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,716 Right, rachel? 309 00:15:28,196 --> 00:15:29,303 Yes. 310 00:15:30,865 --> 00:15:32,531 Everyone's watching. 311 00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:33,975 You can't make a mistake. 312 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,645 You don't want them to know who you really are. 313 00:15:38,964 --> 00:15:41,315 The way you've tempted me. 314 00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:43,234 Can you imagine what they'd say if they saw us? 315 00:15:47,473 --> 00:15:48,656 You want me to keep your secrets. 316 00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:52,551 Let me take care of you... 317 00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:53,995 The way I've always done. 318 00:15:57,316 --> 00:15:59,333 I know the wicked thoughts of your black little heart. 319 00:16:01,229 --> 00:16:03,337 I see you the way no one else does. 320 00:16:05,842 --> 00:16:07,425 You're broken, rachel. 321 00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:13,681 A filthy, broken, ugly child. 322 00:16:14,851 --> 00:16:16,258 [mem] iddo! Chocolate's ready! 323 00:16:16,352 --> 00:16:17,768 The kind you love! 324 00:16:21,265 --> 00:16:22,815 I can save you. 325 00:16:33,519 --> 00:16:37,538 [♪♪] 326 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,375 [eli] have you been drinking the tea? 327 00:16:58,469 --> 00:16:59,643 Morning and evening. 328 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,564 There are tests, sara. 329 00:17:03,715 --> 00:17:04,815 We can take you into town. 330 00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:08,310 Levi wouldn't like that. 331 00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:10,488 I really am doing much better. 332 00:17:13,317 --> 00:17:16,035 This is the fifth child you've lost? 333 00:17:20,065 --> 00:17:21,248 Forgive me, sara, if I've embarrassed you. 334 00:17:23,569 --> 00:17:25,419 Why can't I have any more children, eli? 335 00:17:25,571 --> 00:17:27,254 [door opening] 336 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:28,997 Hello, eli. 337 00:17:29,092 --> 00:17:30,257 Levi. 338 00:17:34,338 --> 00:17:36,514 We have two boys here who think teasing animals is funny. 339 00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:45,773 So... 340 00:17:48,519 --> 00:17:49,685 [rachel] bevin, 341 00:17:49,837 --> 00:17:51,278 Did uncle iddo put you to bed the other night? 342 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:52,855 [bevin] yes. 343 00:17:52,949 --> 00:17:54,356 [rachel] what did he do? 344 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:55,950 [bevin] what do you mean? 345 00:17:56,101 --> 00:17:57,526 [rachel] I don't know. Was he nice? 346 00:17:57,678 --> 00:17:59,936 [bevin] iddo's always nice. 347 00:18:00,030 --> 00:18:02,514 I mean, did he, like, I don't know. 348 00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:04,183 What did he do? 349 00:18:04,276 --> 00:18:06,293 He told me a story and sang me a song. 350 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,537 What was the story? 351 00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:09,705 It was about this bad little girl 352 00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:11,257 Who didn't obey and got punished forever. 353 00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:19,031 [congregation singing] ♪ by his passion we can plead ♪ 354 00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:25,554 ♪ god has born all mortal anguish ♪ 355 00:18:25,706 --> 00:18:31,485 ♪ surely he will know our need. ♪ 356 00:18:31,712 --> 00:18:34,989 ♪ amen ♪ 357 00:18:49,397 --> 00:18:51,988 I think I'm failing. 358 00:18:52,008 --> 00:18:53,081 I have thoughts. 359 00:18:53,176 --> 00:18:55,250 All women do. 360 00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:56,802 I'm not in god's grace. 361 00:18:59,089 --> 00:18:59,972 You will find your way back. 362 00:19:04,595 --> 00:19:05,603 I tempted iddo. 363 00:19:07,598 --> 00:19:09,190 I don't know what do to, mem. I'm so wicked. 364 00:19:10,193 --> 00:19:12,026 Marry him. 365 00:19:13,604 --> 00:19:14,770 Mem? 366 00:19:14,864 --> 00:19:16,588 And then he will be your husband 367 00:19:16,607 --> 00:19:18,424 And it will be all right in god's eyes. 368 00:19:18,442 --> 00:19:20,259 Not that. I couldn't. 369 00:19:20,277 --> 00:19:21,443 Rachel, 370 00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:23,595 A woman makes choices 371 00:19:23,614 --> 00:19:24,947 And they are always hard. 372 00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:26,540 We want things we can't have. 373 00:19:27,785 --> 00:19:29,451 We make plans that will never happen. 374 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:33,105 We accept and we submit 375 00:19:33,198 --> 00:19:35,049 And we build our ladder to heaven. 376 00:19:36,944 --> 00:19:39,111 We do things behind closed doors 377 00:19:39,129 --> 00:19:40,554 That... 378 00:19:46,287 --> 00:19:48,120 Trim your wick, daughter. 379 00:19:48,213 --> 00:19:51,457 Cut away what is charred and defiled 380 00:19:51,475 --> 00:19:56,153 So that your flame can be clean and clear and steady. 381 00:19:57,573 --> 00:19:59,198 They are done. 382 00:20:04,062 --> 00:20:05,537 It's late. 383 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,166 What are you doing out here? 384 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,586 I love the lilacs. 385 00:20:12,738 --> 00:20:14,755 Your mother planted those. 386 00:20:17,909 --> 00:20:19,985 One for each of the children. 387 00:20:20,078 --> 00:20:21,887 They bloom for a few days and then they're gone. 388 00:20:25,917 --> 00:20:27,768 Did you leave that lantern in the barn? 389 00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:29,177 [rachel] no. 390 00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:31,755 Well, burn the place down that way. 391 00:20:31,849 --> 00:20:33,065 I'll get it, dat. 392 00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,235 You're a good girl, rachel. 393 00:20:47,848 --> 00:20:49,623 [barn door opening] 394 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,131 I didn't mean to scare you. 395 00:20:59,193 --> 00:21:00,217 Please stay. 396 00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:07,641 Will you help me collect some eggs? 397 00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:15,482 That's all I want. 398 00:21:15,634 --> 00:21:17,318 I promise. 399 00:21:30,315 --> 00:21:31,665 That's it. 400 00:21:48,576 --> 00:21:50,017 A few more, please. 401 00:22:00,437 --> 00:22:02,488 Bring them to me. 402 00:22:25,279 --> 00:22:26,512 Rachel... 403 00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:30,057 ...This one's cracked. 404 00:22:43,647 --> 00:22:46,532 I want you to ask me for it. 405 00:23:00,648 --> 00:23:01,755 [sobbing] 406 00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:04,425 Rachel. 407 00:23:04,652 --> 00:23:06,001 Rachel? 408 00:23:06,095 --> 00:23:07,845 What happened? 409 00:23:09,323 --> 00:23:10,672 It was iddo! 410 00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:11,932 Iddo? Where is he? 411 00:23:12,159 --> 00:23:14,435 He... He... 412 00:23:15,587 --> 00:23:16,770 What? What did he do? 413 00:23:18,256 --> 00:23:19,273 I feel so dirty. 414 00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:22,668 He ripped my dress open, 415 00:23:22,686 --> 00:23:24,445 But I think I can sew it. 416 00:23:28,951 --> 00:23:30,742 Dat... 417 00:23:32,621 --> 00:23:34,179 He did that to me. 418 00:23:34,198 --> 00:23:35,706 He did that to me, dat. 419 00:23:38,294 --> 00:23:39,460 Did you tempt him? 420 00:23:41,797 --> 00:23:43,038 What? 421 00:23:43,132 --> 00:23:44,798 You tempted him. 422 00:23:46,026 --> 00:23:48,451 What... 423 00:23:48,471 --> 00:23:49,878 What? 424 00:23:50,030 --> 00:23:51,454 Your mother told me. 425 00:23:51,474 --> 00:23:52,806 No... 426 00:23:55,886 --> 00:23:57,627 You must understand that I do not do this in anger. 427 00:23:57,646 --> 00:24:00,147 Dat... 428 00:24:00,374 --> 00:24:03,317 I am in control of my emotions and my thoughts. 429 00:24:03,544 --> 00:24:04,485 [sobbing] 430 00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:09,138 "he that spareth his rod hateth his son..." 431 00:24:09,158 --> 00:24:11,658 Dat... 432 00:24:11,885 --> 00:24:15,954 "...But he who loveth him chasteneth him promptly." 433 00:24:21,319 --> 00:24:23,170 Come to me, child. 434 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,849 [♪♪] 435 00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:50,197 What did you say to him? 436 00:24:50,348 --> 00:24:51,940 -[whipping] -[sobbing] 437 00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:53,200 What did you show him? 438 00:24:53,351 --> 00:24:54,926 -[sobbing] -[whipping] 439 00:24:55,020 --> 00:24:57,204 -What did you do? -[sobbing] 440 00:24:57,355 --> 00:24:58,163 What did you do? 441 00:25:02,619 --> 00:25:03,192 [isabel] run away? 442 00:25:03,287 --> 00:25:04,878 Where would you go? 443 00:25:05,030 --> 00:25:05,712 I don't know. 444 00:25:05,864 --> 00:25:07,439 Somewhere. 445 00:25:07,457 --> 00:25:08,774 You need money. 446 00:25:08,867 --> 00:25:10,533 How would you support yourself? 447 00:25:10,553 --> 00:25:11,626 I can sell things. 448 00:25:11,779 --> 00:25:12,702 Someone will give me a job. 449 00:25:12,721 --> 00:25:14,203 I can count change. I can do that. 450 00:25:14,223 --> 00:25:16,205 [nate] okay. What about rent, or groceries? 451 00:25:16,225 --> 00:25:17,132 Or getting around? 452 00:25:17,226 --> 00:25:18,967 Everything costs money out there. 453 00:25:19,061 --> 00:25:21,453 You have no idea. 454 00:25:21,471 --> 00:25:23,397 There's money in the house. 455 00:25:23,548 --> 00:25:25,290 The fruit money. 456 00:25:25,309 --> 00:25:26,141 You're going to steal ? 457 00:25:26,235 --> 00:25:28,460 I don't know. 458 00:25:28,553 --> 00:25:30,053 I have to get out. I have to think. 459 00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:31,313 What if you got sick? 460 00:25:31,465 --> 00:25:32,388 Or something happened to you? 461 00:25:32,482 --> 00:25:33,965 I'm not going to get sick. 462 00:25:33,984 --> 00:25:35,742 [isabel] you'll be shunned. 463 00:25:35,894 --> 00:25:37,077 Hey, do you want to give up your family? 464 00:25:38,972 --> 00:25:40,080 I don't know what else to do. 465 00:25:43,234 --> 00:25:45,160 People here help each other. 466 00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:46,494 Out there, 467 00:25:46,647 --> 00:25:48,255 There's not going to be anyone to protect you. 468 00:25:50,241 --> 00:25:52,259 There's no one to protect me here. 469 00:25:52,410 --> 00:25:53,927 Was it really so bad? 470 00:26:01,845 --> 00:26:02,603 Please help me. 471 00:26:09,169 --> 00:26:09,943 Okay. 472 00:26:12,114 --> 00:26:14,430 I have a friend who might let you stay at her place. 473 00:26:14,450 --> 00:26:15,407 Grace, the photographer. 474 00:26:16,693 --> 00:26:17,934 I'll call her and set it up. 475 00:26:18,028 --> 00:26:19,435 When do you want to go? 476 00:26:19,455 --> 00:26:21,079 Now. Tonight. 477 00:26:27,871 --> 00:26:31,757 [♪♪] 478 00:26:33,527 --> 00:26:35,469 Mem? 479 00:26:42,127 --> 00:26:45,312 [♪♪] 480 00:26:51,487 --> 00:26:54,062 Oh, rachel, I need you to run to the store for me. 481 00:26:54,214 --> 00:26:57,549 I need flour, sugar, cinnamon, and some coffee. 482 00:26:57,642 --> 00:26:58,733 The donnermeyers are coming over 483 00:26:58,886 --> 00:27:00,476 And I'm going to make my sour cream cake. 484 00:27:00,496 --> 00:27:02,287 We're not running a tab there anymore. 485 00:27:12,323 --> 00:27:13,732 Your father doesn't like debt. 486 00:27:13,750 --> 00:27:15,083 Yes, mem. 487 00:27:15,235 --> 00:27:16,325 Rachel... 488 00:27:16,345 --> 00:27:18,161 You've-- 489 00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:20,847 You've just not been yourself lately. 490 00:27:22,592 --> 00:27:23,517 I know that. 491 00:27:27,172 --> 00:27:28,647 You're going to be spending more time at church now. 492 00:27:31,009 --> 00:27:32,359 I think it's time we make you a new dress. 493 00:27:34,179 --> 00:27:35,420 People notice. 494 00:27:35,439 --> 00:27:36,697 Yes, mem. 495 00:27:51,362 --> 00:27:55,006 [♪♪] 496 00:28:02,282 --> 00:28:04,391 [woman] oh! Rachel albrecht, what's your secret? 497 00:28:06,895 --> 00:28:08,954 I'm sorry, what? 498 00:28:08,972 --> 00:28:11,231 I heard you got top marks in your bible class. 499 00:28:12,809 --> 00:28:15,126 Oh. Yes. Thank you. 500 00:28:15,145 --> 00:28:17,070 I expect you'll be joining the wanderers now. 501 00:28:18,741 --> 00:28:20,389 Yes. I'd like to. 502 00:28:20,409 --> 00:28:21,816 You know we've been needing another soprano. 503 00:28:21,910 --> 00:28:22,968 Tuesday night. 504 00:28:22,986 --> 00:28:23,818 You know where. 505 00:28:23,912 --> 00:28:25,245 All right. 506 00:28:25,396 --> 00:28:26,321 Thank you. 507 00:28:26,473 --> 00:28:27,247 Rachel? 508 00:28:28,475 --> 00:28:29,808 Yes? 509 00:28:29,901 --> 00:28:31,084 It's good to have you among us. 510 00:28:40,411 --> 00:28:41,428 What are you doing? 511 00:28:51,681 --> 00:28:53,331 What's this? 512 00:28:53,350 --> 00:28:54,349 I was wondering 513 00:28:54,443 --> 00:28:55,942 What it would be like if I had a watch, 514 00:28:56,094 --> 00:28:57,110 To tell what time it is. 515 00:28:58,447 --> 00:28:59,929 I forgot to wash it off. 516 00:29:00,023 --> 00:29:00,781 You have to be careful. 517 00:29:01,008 --> 00:29:02,431 Mem and dat wouldn't like this. 518 00:29:02,451 --> 00:29:04,692 It's jewelry. It's vain. 519 00:29:04,845 --> 00:29:06,194 I know. I forgot. 520 00:29:06,346 --> 00:29:07,270 You can't forget anymore. 521 00:29:07,289 --> 00:29:08,938 You're a big girl now. 522 00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:10,123 Okay. 523 00:29:13,278 --> 00:29:14,686 You can't let anyone be mean to you 524 00:29:14,704 --> 00:29:15,945 Or treat you bad ever again. 525 00:29:15,964 --> 00:29:17,372 Okay? 526 00:29:17,524 --> 00:29:19,707 Who's going to treat me bad? 527 00:29:19,802 --> 00:29:21,134 People. 528 00:29:21,361 --> 00:29:22,969 Why? 529 00:29:24,622 --> 00:29:25,880 I love you, little bb. 530 00:29:26,033 --> 00:29:27,307 You're squeezing me. 531 00:29:29,311 --> 00:29:30,310 Sorry. 532 00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:36,149 Rachel? 533 00:29:36,301 --> 00:29:37,818 What time is it? 534 00:29:39,655 --> 00:29:41,321 It's late. 535 00:29:45,235 --> 00:29:48,995 [♪♪] 536 00:30:01,492 --> 00:30:05,971 [♪♪] 537 00:30:08,851 --> 00:30:10,833 Isabel. 538 00:30:10,853 --> 00:30:13,502 What are you doing here? 539 00:30:13,597 --> 00:30:15,689 [isabel] I'm sorry. 540 00:30:25,516 --> 00:30:29,352 [♪♪] 541 00:30:29,371 --> 00:30:30,704 Child... 542 00:30:32,541 --> 00:30:33,540 [rachel wails] 543 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,527 [sobbing] 544 00:30:38,622 --> 00:30:40,005 Let us help you, child. 545 00:30:46,613 --> 00:30:48,630 [bishop] we're taking you to a place 546 00:30:48,782 --> 00:30:52,117 Where they help girls who've lost their way. 547 00:30:52,210 --> 00:30:54,519 Everything can be forgiven in time. 548 00:30:57,733 --> 00:30:58,732 Rachel. 549 00:30:58,883 --> 00:31:00,808 Welcome to bright haven. 550 00:31:00,903 --> 00:31:03,528 We are so happy that you've come to join us. 551 00:31:04,722 --> 00:31:06,239 Would you please remove your shoes? 552 00:31:07,910 --> 00:31:11,912 Life skills from 5:00 a.M. Until to 7:00. 553 00:31:13,415 --> 00:31:15,707 We take you through harvest all the way to canning. 554 00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:20,995 And then bible study from 7:30 until noon. 555 00:31:21,148 --> 00:31:22,756 Then lunch. 556 00:31:22,907 --> 00:31:25,592 And then bible study from 1:00 p.M. Until 5:00. 557 00:31:26,929 --> 00:31:28,820 Yeah. 558 00:31:28,838 --> 00:31:31,556 And then from 5:00 until 5:30, free time. 559 00:31:33,827 --> 00:31:35,435 We like to think of this as our-- 560 00:31:35,586 --> 00:31:37,679 As our house of love. 561 00:31:37,831 --> 00:31:39,922 We want to help you prepare 562 00:31:39,942 --> 00:31:41,274 For your roles 563 00:31:41,426 --> 00:31:44,093 As wives and mothers in the world 564 00:31:44,112 --> 00:31:46,688 And instill values 565 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,782 That will admit you into the kingdom of heaven. 566 00:31:50,677 --> 00:31:53,528 Our goal is to fill your heart with light 567 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:57,106 And the joy that can be found in the divine love of god. 568 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:02,278 Only girls accompanied by staff can leave the building. 569 00:32:02,297 --> 00:32:04,923 Rooms are locked at 7:00 p.M. 570 00:32:08,545 --> 00:32:11,196 "wives, be subject to your husbands, 571 00:32:11,214 --> 00:32:13,364 As to the lord, 572 00:32:13,383 --> 00:32:18,144 Without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, 573 00:32:18,296 --> 00:32:22,298 That you might be holy and without blemish. 574 00:32:22,317 --> 00:32:25,485 For the husband is head of the wife 575 00:32:25,712 --> 00:32:28,113 As christ is head of the church." 576 00:32:29,899 --> 00:32:33,718 Now, this is our struggle. 577 00:32:33,737 --> 00:32:35,161 The individual. 578 00:32:35,313 --> 00:32:37,146 The unsatisfied mind. 579 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,557 God has given us rules. 580 00:32:39,576 --> 00:32:43,503 All that we need to do is follow them without question. 581 00:32:45,065 --> 00:32:49,843 God is judging our every move, our every thought. 582 00:32:50,070 --> 00:32:53,829 I know that each one of you has sinned, 583 00:32:53,849 --> 00:32:58,167 Even in your tiniest, most private moment. 584 00:32:58,186 --> 00:32:59,927 Perhaps spending a little too much time 585 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,413 In front of the mirror, 586 00:33:02,432 --> 00:33:06,342 For a split second thinking that you might be pretty. 587 00:33:06,436 --> 00:33:09,195 You are not pretty. 588 00:33:09,347 --> 00:33:12,181 You are vain and weak. 589 00:33:12,275 --> 00:33:16,018 You are wicked and dirty. 590 00:33:16,038 --> 00:33:19,430 You disappoint god a million times every day 591 00:33:19,449 --> 00:33:21,708 With your carnal thoughts and your dark desires. 592 00:33:24,379 --> 00:33:26,880 You have forgotten that god loves you. 593 00:33:33,889 --> 00:33:35,613 Seven o'clock! 594 00:33:35,632 --> 00:33:37,390 Be at peace! 595 00:33:40,062 --> 00:33:42,136 She's not that bad, you know. 596 00:33:42,289 --> 00:33:43,805 She's helped a lot of girls. 597 00:33:43,957 --> 00:33:45,356 She understands what it's like. 598 00:33:46,626 --> 00:33:47,734 I think she had some trouble in her past. 599 00:33:49,220 --> 00:33:50,719 I heard she was married. 600 00:33:50,739 --> 00:33:52,072 I heard he died. 601 00:33:52,223 --> 00:33:55,241 No, no, she ran away, 602 00:33:55,393 --> 00:33:58,486 Then came back, and then he died. 603 00:33:58,638 --> 00:34:00,988 I ran away. 604 00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:02,974 Or I tried to. 605 00:34:02,992 --> 00:34:04,567 We all did. 606 00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:05,810 That's why we're here. 607 00:34:05,829 --> 00:34:07,979 Not me. 608 00:34:07,997 --> 00:34:08,996 I stayed. 609 00:34:09,149 --> 00:34:11,091 I tempted my cousin 610 00:34:11,242 --> 00:34:12,483 And then I tried to blame it on him. 611 00:34:12,502 --> 00:34:14,094 What did he do? 612 00:34:15,597 --> 00:34:16,429 It's what I did. 613 00:34:18,158 --> 00:34:19,265 I told everyone about us. 614 00:34:20,343 --> 00:34:22,493 I guess I... 615 00:34:22,587 --> 00:34:23,436 Thought I deserved to be heard. 616 00:34:25,089 --> 00:34:27,332 Anyway, what good is running away? 617 00:34:27,350 --> 00:34:28,274 Where would we go? Who would want us? 618 00:34:53,376 --> 00:34:55,284 [girl] they don't open. 619 00:34:55,303 --> 00:34:57,620 I just wanted to get some air. 620 00:34:57,714 --> 00:35:00,122 It's so we're not tempted. 621 00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:01,766 It only gets really bad in here in August. 622 00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:04,269 How long have you been here? 623 00:35:05,796 --> 00:35:06,813 This is my third time. 624 00:35:14,472 --> 00:35:16,639 [ruth] he would say, "you're not trying hard enough," 625 00:35:16,658 --> 00:35:19,217 And... 626 00:35:19,235 --> 00:35:21,644 "your brain looks like a messy closet," 627 00:35:21,663 --> 00:35:22,662 And that I should clean it up. 628 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:25,498 If he ever spoke to me. 629 00:35:26,668 --> 00:35:28,168 Thank you, ruth. 630 00:35:31,155 --> 00:35:34,174 Rachel, what would god say to you? 631 00:35:35,919 --> 00:35:37,660 He would say... 632 00:35:37,679 --> 00:35:40,013 "why, rachel?" 633 00:35:43,668 --> 00:35:45,018 "why can't you just be good?" 634 00:35:47,931 --> 00:35:49,856 He would say... 635 00:35:50,007 --> 00:35:51,858 "why do I waste my time with you?" 636 00:35:55,271 --> 00:35:56,487 "all you do is make the wrong choices." 637 00:36:00,518 --> 00:36:01,326 "now you get what you deserve... 638 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:05,538 ...Nothing." 639 00:37:09,104 --> 00:37:12,680 ♪ all things wise and wonderful ♪ 640 00:37:12,832 --> 00:37:17,443 ♪ the lord god made them all ♪ 641 00:37:17,595 --> 00:37:21,022 ♪ each little flower that opens... ♪ 642 00:37:21,116 --> 00:37:23,265 Rachel. 643 00:37:23,285 --> 00:37:24,342 We've come to visit you. 644 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,361 If you do not want to speak to me, 645 00:37:27,514 --> 00:37:28,579 At least speak to your mother. 646 00:37:42,304 --> 00:37:46,139 ♪ all things bright and beautiful ♪ 647 00:37:46,290 --> 00:37:51,369 ♪ all creatures great and small ♪ 648 00:37:51,387 --> 00:37:55,706 ♪ all things wise and wonderful ♪ 649 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,877 ♪ the lord god made them all ♪ 650 00:37:59,896 --> 00:38:00,778 He hasn't eaten in three weeks. 651 00:38:04,492 --> 00:38:05,550 He's living in shame over what you did. 652 00:38:05,568 --> 00:38:07,552 Just look at him. 653 00:38:07,570 --> 00:38:08,828 I'm sorry. 654 00:38:08,979 --> 00:38:10,163 Do you know we might be asked to leave the church? 655 00:38:12,225 --> 00:38:13,333 Do you know what hell is? 656 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,794 It's pain and regret for eternity. 657 00:38:19,507 --> 00:38:20,840 You have brought us all to the brink, rachel. 658 00:38:22,493 --> 00:38:23,509 Accept your life. I accepted mine. 659 00:38:28,833 --> 00:38:29,682 Find your way, rachel. 660 00:38:31,353 --> 00:38:32,577 They will help you here, 661 00:38:32,595 --> 00:38:34,187 And then when you come home, 662 00:38:34,414 --> 00:38:36,080 Everything can go back to the way it was. 663 00:38:36,099 --> 00:38:38,149 But, mem, iddo... 664 00:38:45,425 --> 00:38:47,158 [mary] careful with the roots there. 665 00:38:50,705 --> 00:38:52,113 You want to make sure 666 00:38:52,265 --> 00:38:54,265 That you've got the whole package 667 00:38:54,358 --> 00:38:56,267 Before you put it into the earth. 668 00:38:56,285 --> 00:39:00,046 The roots are so strong and yet they are so fragile. 669 00:39:02,458 --> 00:39:03,608 Those rows are not straight. 670 00:39:03,626 --> 00:39:05,885 [mary continues, indistinct] 671 00:39:10,133 --> 00:39:14,685 [♪♪] 672 00:39:20,476 --> 00:39:25,296 [♪♪] 673 00:39:25,314 --> 00:39:27,198 [mary continues, indistinct] 674 00:39:30,820 --> 00:39:35,373 [♪♪] 675 00:39:41,831 --> 00:39:45,716 [♪♪] 676 00:39:53,509 --> 00:39:57,437 [♪♪] 677 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,114 [♪♪] 678 00:40:14,197 --> 00:40:17,957 [♪♪] 679 00:40:22,188 --> 00:40:23,754 [horse hooves clopping] 680 00:40:32,548 --> 00:40:37,143 [♪♪] 681 00:40:43,559 --> 00:40:44,650 [horns honking] 682 00:40:46,729 --> 00:40:47,728 [barking] 683 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,714 Carl, listen to me. 684 00:40:49,732 --> 00:40:51,491 You're not going to hang any of my photos 685 00:40:51,642 --> 00:40:54,051 Unless I am standing in that gallery, 686 00:40:54,070 --> 00:40:55,786 Pointing to where I want them to be hung. 687 00:40:57,999 --> 00:41:00,224 Well, don't give me "that's how they do it." 688 00:41:00,243 --> 00:41:01,559 That's not how I do it-- you know that. 689 00:41:01,577 --> 00:41:02,668 [coffee grinder whirring] but you remember what-- 690 00:41:02,895 --> 00:41:04,837 You remember what happened at drexel, right? 691 00:41:06,508 --> 00:41:07,656 Yeah, exactly. 692 00:41:07,675 --> 00:41:08,991 It was not fine. 693 00:41:09,010 --> 00:41:09,917 It wasn't fine at all. 694 00:41:10,069 --> 00:41:11,177 You even said that. 695 00:41:11,328 --> 00:41:13,161 The eyeline was wrong, the storytelling was wr-- 696 00:41:13,181 --> 00:41:14,514 Wrong. 697 00:41:15,591 --> 00:41:16,849 Oh! 698 00:41:18,669 --> 00:41:19,593 No, I'm still here. 699 00:41:19,746 --> 00:41:20,669 No, my boyfriend just-- 700 00:41:20,763 --> 00:41:22,096 You know what, never mind. 701 00:41:22,248 --> 00:41:24,265 Don't do anything without me... 702 00:41:24,417 --> 00:41:25,691 There. 703 00:41:29,255 --> 00:41:30,437 Can you-- carl, hold on a second. 704 00:41:30,532 --> 00:41:31,531 Don't hang up. 705 00:41:40,190 --> 00:41:41,040 Is that... 706 00:41:44,212 --> 00:41:45,694 Hey! Hey! 707 00:41:45,713 --> 00:41:46,879 Are you nate's friend? 708 00:41:54,797 --> 00:41:56,113 Hey, are you... 709 00:41:56,132 --> 00:41:57,114 Are you rachel? 710 00:41:57,133 --> 00:41:58,949 -Yeah? -Yes. 711 00:41:58,968 --> 00:42:00,709 Hey, you made it. 712 00:42:00,803 --> 00:42:01,894 Give me one second. 713 00:42:03,064 --> 00:42:04,897 Not the best of neighborhoods. 714 00:42:08,886 --> 00:42:10,027 I was kind of expecting you, like, three weeks ago. 715 00:42:11,406 --> 00:42:12,313 I gave up on you. 716 00:42:12,407 --> 00:42:13,406 I'm sorry. 717 00:42:15,468 --> 00:42:16,224 Is it okay that I'm here? 718 00:42:16,244 --> 00:42:17,968 Yeah, of course. 719 00:42:17,987 --> 00:42:18,911 Welcome to the grace place! 720 00:42:21,974 --> 00:42:23,249 Oh. 721 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:24,250 I'm sorry. 722 00:42:24,401 --> 00:42:25,810 It's okay. 723 00:42:25,828 --> 00:42:26,827 I... 724 00:42:26,921 --> 00:42:28,254 You know what-- 725 00:42:28,481 --> 00:42:30,089 -No, really-- -no, listen, it's me. 726 00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:32,425 I can be very overbearing sometimes. 727 00:42:32,652 --> 00:42:33,742 How about we start all over, okay? 728 00:42:33,761 --> 00:42:34,985 Okay. 729 00:42:35,004 --> 00:42:36,503 My name is grace, 730 00:42:36,598 --> 00:42:38,931 And, uh... 731 00:42:40,417 --> 00:42:41,892 ...Welcome to my home. 732 00:42:43,438 --> 00:42:44,845 Come in. 733 00:42:44,997 --> 00:42:46,105 Okay. 734 00:43:00,622 --> 00:43:01,579 Come in. 735 00:43:03,941 --> 00:43:05,273 Carl, are you still there? 736 00:43:05,293 --> 00:43:07,034 Great. 737 00:43:07,186 --> 00:43:09,128 Tell them to wait for me until I get there, okay? 738 00:43:11,691 --> 00:43:12,873 Okay, great. 739 00:43:13,025 --> 00:43:15,209 Well, then I will see you tomorrow. 740 00:43:15,361 --> 00:43:17,528 Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. Bye. 741 00:43:17,546 --> 00:43:21,098 Alexa, play something cool. 742 00:43:22,551 --> 00:43:23,959 [cool jazz music plays] 743 00:43:23,978 --> 00:43:26,312 Yeah. 744 00:43:31,802 --> 00:43:34,320 [jazz music playing] 745 00:43:34,471 --> 00:43:35,988 [sirens wailing] 746 00:43:37,733 --> 00:43:39,158 [coffee grinder whirring] 747 00:43:42,221 --> 00:43:44,163 Everything here makes so much noise. 748 00:43:44,314 --> 00:43:45,406 I'm not used to it. 749 00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:48,834 Well, gosh, toto, we're not in kansas anymore. 750 00:43:51,155 --> 00:43:53,155 No, I'm from here, in pennsylvania. 751 00:43:53,174 --> 00:43:54,322 Yeah-- 752 00:43:54,342 --> 00:43:55,466 It's-- 753 00:43:56,903 --> 00:43:57,843 Never mind. 754 00:43:58,996 --> 00:44:00,680 This is so kind. 755 00:44:00,831 --> 00:44:02,181 I'm sorry-- I didn't know where to go, 756 00:44:02,332 --> 00:44:04,925 Or what was next, or-- 757 00:44:05,077 --> 00:44:06,168 If I should even come here, and-- 758 00:44:06,187 --> 00:44:07,594 Don't worry about it. 759 00:44:07,747 --> 00:44:08,813 You can stay here until you get yourself set up, okay? 760 00:44:10,433 --> 00:44:12,007 I've got an extra bedroom-- 761 00:44:12,101 --> 00:44:13,417 More of a storage closet. 762 00:44:13,510 --> 00:44:16,011 I'm afraid we're going to have to share a bathroom 763 00:44:16,030 --> 00:44:18,197 Because my landlord refuses to fix the other one. 764 00:44:19,942 --> 00:44:22,851 I can grab you a tap card... 765 00:44:22,945 --> 00:44:24,186 Maybe some new clothes, 766 00:44:24,205 --> 00:44:25,871 And... 767 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,834 Oh, my god, do you have no shoes? 768 00:44:31,195 --> 00:44:33,028 No. I had to leave them. 769 00:44:33,047 --> 00:44:34,046 Do you have anything? 770 00:44:35,532 --> 00:44:38,275 Okay, yeah. You know what, don't worry about it. 771 00:44:38,294 --> 00:44:39,051 I got stuff you can borrow. 772 00:44:39,278 --> 00:44:40,702 Um... 773 00:44:40,722 --> 00:44:41,703 And... 774 00:44:41,797 --> 00:44:43,538 I can help you get a job. 775 00:44:43,558 --> 00:44:44,465 I've got some friends 776 00:44:44,617 --> 00:44:45,874 That can give you some gig work. 777 00:44:45,893 --> 00:44:46,726 Do you have a social security card? 778 00:44:46,953 --> 00:44:48,561 No. 779 00:44:48,712 --> 00:44:50,730 I.D.? Like a passport? State I.D.? 780 00:44:52,567 --> 00:44:54,382 Oh, hey, hey. 781 00:44:54,402 --> 00:44:57,069 Listen. We don't have to do anything today, okay? 782 00:44:57,221 --> 00:44:58,571 Why don't you take a seat? 783 00:45:00,074 --> 00:45:01,482 Drink coffee, 784 00:45:01,576 --> 00:45:03,242 Talk... 785 00:45:05,413 --> 00:45:06,746 ...Or not. 786 00:45:08,249 --> 00:45:09,749 Listen, man, just do whatever feels comfortable, okay? 787 00:45:10,993 --> 00:45:13,085 -Okay. -Okay. 788 00:45:25,007 --> 00:45:26,599 -Oh, my. -What? 789 00:45:28,102 --> 00:45:29,101 This is the best thing 790 00:45:29,328 --> 00:45:31,437 That I've ever tasted in my whole life. 791 00:45:41,007 --> 00:45:42,615 Hey, hey. 792 00:45:47,955 --> 00:45:49,246 [sirens wailing] 793 00:46:04,472 --> 00:46:05,971 [rachel gasping] 794 00:46:07,141 --> 00:46:08,549 [cleve] you scared the shit out of me! 795 00:46:08,701 --> 00:46:09,867 [grace] babe, what's going-- 796 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:11,960 Oh, shoot, get back in here! Put your pants on. 797 00:46:11,979 --> 00:46:14,313 Rachel, are you okay? 798 00:46:14,540 --> 00:46:17,632 Yes. 799 00:46:17,652 --> 00:46:19,151 [grace] that was just my boyfriend, cleve. 800 00:46:19,303 --> 00:46:20,653 Babe, say hi. 801 00:46:20,804 --> 00:46:22,154 [cleve] hi, rachel. 802 00:46:22,306 --> 00:46:25,399 Hi, cleve. 803 00:46:25,551 --> 00:46:26,450 [cleve] nice to meet you. 804 00:46:28,312 --> 00:46:29,328 Nice to meet you, too. 805 00:46:35,319 --> 00:46:36,669 [cleve] I'm coming out of the bedroom. 806 00:46:38,581 --> 00:46:39,821 I'm walking down the hall. 807 00:46:39,915 --> 00:46:41,006 I'm fully dressed. 808 00:46:44,178 --> 00:46:45,511 I'm here. 809 00:46:45,738 --> 00:46:46,846 Hi. 810 00:46:49,350 --> 00:46:51,075 Let's... 811 00:46:51,093 --> 00:46:52,743 Let's make this our first official meeting. 812 00:46:52,761 --> 00:46:53,519 I'm cleve. 813 00:46:55,915 --> 00:46:57,356 I'm rachel. 814 00:46:58,526 --> 00:46:59,984 So we're good? 815 00:47:01,437 --> 00:47:02,695 Yes, cleve, we're good. 816 00:47:04,365 --> 00:47:06,607 All right. 817 00:47:06,759 --> 00:47:07,867 Can I make you something to eat? 818 00:47:09,686 --> 00:47:10,594 I can do it, it's-- 819 00:47:10,613 --> 00:47:11,519 No, no. 820 00:47:11,539 --> 00:47:12,872 You sit. I got this. 821 00:47:17,786 --> 00:47:18,619 Are you sure? I-- 822 00:47:18,713 --> 00:47:20,028 I live for this. 823 00:47:20,122 --> 00:47:21,529 When you taste this, 824 00:47:21,549 --> 00:47:23,198 You are going to have a mouth orgasm. 825 00:47:23,217 --> 00:47:24,775 [whispers] a mouth orgasm? 826 00:47:24,793 --> 00:47:26,701 And under any circumstances, 827 00:47:26,721 --> 00:47:30,038 Do not let grace cook for you. 828 00:47:30,057 --> 00:47:32,282 Anything she makes tastes like dryer lint. 829 00:47:32,301 --> 00:47:33,684 Dryer lint? 830 00:47:35,454 --> 00:47:36,854 You're kind of fresh off the truck, aren't you? 831 00:47:38,457 --> 00:47:39,231 Kind of. 832 00:47:43,812 --> 00:47:44,737 So you cook? 833 00:47:44,964 --> 00:47:46,480 Yeah. 834 00:47:46,632 --> 00:47:48,315 I do everything around here. 835 00:47:48,409 --> 00:47:49,391 I'm the neat one. 836 00:47:49,410 --> 00:47:50,484 Grace... 837 00:47:50,578 --> 00:47:52,227 Grace is a slob. 838 00:47:52,321 --> 00:47:53,913 Look at this place. 839 00:47:54,064 --> 00:47:56,582 I mean, no organizational skills. 840 00:47:56,733 --> 00:47:57,824 Never rinses a dish, 841 00:47:57,977 --> 00:47:58,976 Just leaves it out in the open 842 00:47:59,069 --> 00:48:00,144 Like I'm expected to clean up after her. 843 00:48:00,162 --> 00:48:01,495 I hate that. 844 00:48:01,647 --> 00:48:03,738 Yeah. The food gets stuck on and it gets all crusty. 845 00:48:03,758 --> 00:48:04,757 And then you have to work twice as hard. 846 00:48:06,576 --> 00:48:08,093 I think we're gonna get along great. 847 00:48:09,321 --> 00:48:10,429 I mean... 848 00:48:10,580 --> 00:48:13,432 You already know more about me than most people. 849 00:48:16,512 --> 00:48:17,937 Alexa, play something to wake me up. 850 00:48:19,181 --> 00:48:21,331 [pop music plays] 851 00:48:21,425 --> 00:48:23,108 Well, good morning, sunshine. 852 00:48:28,524 --> 00:48:32,952 [♪♪] 853 00:48:34,180 --> 00:48:34,954 Careful. 854 00:48:42,688 --> 00:48:46,256 So, I think these will fit. 855 00:48:47,802 --> 00:48:48,709 What do you think? 856 00:48:48,803 --> 00:48:50,118 No. I couldn't. 857 00:48:50,212 --> 00:48:52,638 Oh, I know it's not exactly the height of fashion. 858 00:48:52,865 --> 00:48:55,199 I just keep them around for the models. 859 00:48:55,217 --> 00:48:56,717 You don't understand. I can't take off my-- 860 00:48:56,811 --> 00:48:57,959 Don't worry. I can just go into the other room. 861 00:48:57,979 --> 00:48:58,811 No, it's not that. 862 00:49:00,481 --> 00:49:03,315 My dress, my kapp , 863 00:49:03,542 --> 00:49:04,608 It's a conversation between me and god. 864 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:08,988 Oh, I didn't realize. 865 00:49:09,139 --> 00:49:10,322 It wouldn't matter anyway, though. 866 00:49:11,884 --> 00:49:12,825 Why? 867 00:49:12,976 --> 00:49:14,451 I'd still be ugly. 868 00:49:16,572 --> 00:49:17,496 [sighs] 869 00:49:17,723 --> 00:49:18,956 Wow. 870 00:49:21,060 --> 00:49:22,501 They really did a number on you, didn't they? 871 00:49:27,233 --> 00:49:29,399 Look, um... 872 00:49:29,418 --> 00:49:30,734 Nate... 873 00:49:30,753 --> 00:49:33,679 Didn't tell me why you were coming to stay with me. 874 00:49:35,016 --> 00:49:36,256 As a survivor, 875 00:49:36,350 --> 00:49:39,076 I can only assume that someone was hurting you. 876 00:49:39,094 --> 00:49:40,352 Someone you knew. 877 00:49:42,506 --> 00:49:43,856 Someone you trusted. 878 00:49:45,918 --> 00:49:47,151 Did someone hurt you, rachel? 879 00:49:50,180 --> 00:49:50,937 You don't understand. 880 00:49:51,090 --> 00:49:52,013 No, I do. 881 00:49:52,107 --> 00:49:54,158 I really, really do. 882 00:49:57,521 --> 00:49:58,704 Do you know that I hate cinnamon? 883 00:50:01,450 --> 00:50:02,708 I can't stand the smell of it. 884 00:50:04,436 --> 00:50:05,360 Mem was baking in the kitchen 885 00:50:05,379 --> 00:50:06,378 And the house smelled of cinnamon. 886 00:50:08,274 --> 00:50:09,715 I sat at the table coloring with the other kids. 887 00:50:12,628 --> 00:50:13,844 Uncle iddo sat next to me. 888 00:50:16,131 --> 00:50:16,889 It was daytime. 889 00:50:20,061 --> 00:50:21,060 There were people around, but he didn't care. 890 00:50:26,141 --> 00:50:27,399 He reached under the table. 891 00:50:29,295 --> 00:50:31,311 It hurt, 892 00:50:31,405 --> 00:50:33,405 But I couldn't let anyone know what was happening. 893 00:50:36,577 --> 00:50:37,743 I was so afraid. 894 00:50:39,488 --> 00:50:40,579 Afraid it was my fault. 895 00:50:44,493 --> 00:50:46,159 How old were you? 896 00:50:46,312 --> 00:50:47,419 Eight. 897 00:50:49,256 --> 00:50:51,048 That was the first time. 898 00:50:59,007 --> 00:51:01,391 You are out of there now and you are never going back. 899 00:51:03,345 --> 00:51:05,345 You have a new life here. 900 00:51:05,497 --> 00:51:07,606 I'm going to make it happen for you, I promise. 901 00:51:09,110 --> 00:51:10,234 Do you think so? 902 00:51:12,262 --> 00:51:13,779 I know so. 903 00:51:16,024 --> 00:51:17,265 I don't think that can work. 904 00:51:17,284 --> 00:51:18,742 Why not? 905 00:51:19,954 --> 00:51:21,286 I want to go home. 906 00:51:22,364 --> 00:51:23,247 Why? 907 00:51:24,941 --> 00:51:25,916 Because it's home. 908 00:51:35,952 --> 00:51:37,118 [knocking on door] 909 00:51:37,138 --> 00:51:38,378 [woman narrator on tv] after six years, 910 00:51:38,472 --> 00:51:39,638 Will this top predator recognize his friend? 911 00:51:42,959 --> 00:51:45,144 Come here, you sexy amish boy! 912 00:51:48,482 --> 00:51:50,557 Uh... 913 00:51:50,709 --> 00:51:51,608 This one's homesick. 914 00:51:53,045 --> 00:51:55,154 ...An alpha male breaks through the others. 915 00:51:56,899 --> 00:51:58,048 He hesitates, then... 916 00:51:58,066 --> 00:52:00,159 -Hey. -Wait. 917 00:52:00,310 --> 00:52:01,160 Watch how he lets the lion jump on him. 918 00:52:03,146 --> 00:52:04,571 The lion loves him. They're friends. 919 00:52:04,723 --> 00:52:06,740 ...Six years melt away, 920 00:52:06,892 --> 00:52:09,501 And once again, this 600-pound-- 921 00:52:11,563 --> 00:52:12,629 I talked to your parents today. 922 00:52:14,675 --> 00:52:15,823 How are they? 923 00:52:15,843 --> 00:52:17,401 Yeah. 924 00:52:17,419 --> 00:52:18,510 They talked to me 925 00:52:18,737 --> 00:52:20,328 About how shunning is the final act of love, 926 00:52:20,347 --> 00:52:22,406 And... 927 00:52:22,424 --> 00:52:24,516 They want me to bring you back so they can show you it. 928 00:52:25,761 --> 00:52:26,685 How are bevin and the twins? 929 00:52:28,096 --> 00:52:29,354 Bevin thinks you're working. 930 00:52:32,526 --> 00:52:33,650 How do I live? 931 00:52:36,438 --> 00:52:37,863 Nobody knows me, and I... 932 00:52:39,533 --> 00:52:41,158 I don't have a family anymore. 933 00:52:42,852 --> 00:52:44,428 I'm like those people on the screen-- 934 00:52:44,446 --> 00:52:46,538 Moving and talking, but trapped behind glass. 935 00:52:46,690 --> 00:52:47,597 But you're not alone. 936 00:52:47,616 --> 00:52:48,665 You don't know. 937 00:52:50,860 --> 00:52:51,710 I mean, you can go back. 938 00:52:51,861 --> 00:52:53,170 You still have a choice. 939 00:52:54,456 --> 00:52:55,547 I'm living with strangers. 940 00:52:55,699 --> 00:52:57,382 I don't understand half the things they say. 941 00:52:57,534 --> 00:52:59,843 -Rachel-- -no, nate, you have to go. 942 00:53:02,205 --> 00:53:04,130 This is too hard. I can't do this. 943 00:53:04,283 --> 00:53:05,057 Okay. 944 00:53:10,064 --> 00:53:12,064 Will you at least walk me out? 945 00:53:17,387 --> 00:53:19,796 I'm sorry. 946 00:53:19,815 --> 00:53:20,906 Thank you for coming today. 947 00:53:21,057 --> 00:53:22,132 It's okay. 948 00:53:22,150 --> 00:53:23,075 I wanted to come. 949 00:53:24,653 --> 00:53:26,303 God's gonna look after you no matter what you do, rachel. 950 00:53:26,321 --> 00:53:28,563 I believe that. 951 00:53:28,657 --> 00:53:29,581 I want to believe that. 952 00:53:31,143 --> 00:53:31,992 You know, I don't think 953 00:53:32,086 --> 00:53:33,252 I've ever had the chance to say this, 954 00:53:33,479 --> 00:53:35,921 But... 955 00:53:36,072 --> 00:53:38,315 I admire you, rachel. 956 00:53:38,333 --> 00:53:39,091 I really do. 957 00:53:42,096 --> 00:53:43,428 Have you ever been to the ocean before? 958 00:53:44,990 --> 00:53:46,431 No. 959 00:53:46,658 --> 00:53:48,267 Why? 960 00:53:48,418 --> 00:53:49,993 My mother talked about it sometimes, 961 00:53:50,012 --> 00:53:51,436 But I don't think she's actually been. 962 00:53:52,940 --> 00:53:55,515 It seems like a place where you can really breathe. 963 00:53:55,667 --> 00:53:56,666 Where you can feel right. 964 00:53:56,685 --> 00:53:57,943 Hmm. 965 00:54:01,023 --> 00:54:02,597 You know, I've been thinking about it, 966 00:54:02,616 --> 00:54:04,858 I don't think I'm going to get baptized after all. 967 00:54:05,010 --> 00:54:05,784 Really? 968 00:54:06,011 --> 00:54:06,952 Yeah. 969 00:54:07,103 --> 00:54:08,453 Keep my options open. 970 00:54:12,275 --> 00:54:13,183 Good night, rachel. 971 00:54:13,201 --> 00:54:14,793 Good night, nate. 972 00:54:19,783 --> 00:54:22,359 [♪♪] 973 00:54:22,377 --> 00:54:24,136 [rachel] I'm coming out of the bedroom. 974 00:54:27,641 --> 00:54:29,099 Going to the bathroom. 975 00:54:30,385 --> 00:54:31,310 [knocking] 976 00:54:31,461 --> 00:54:33,219 [grace] almost done. 977 00:54:33,372 --> 00:54:34,538 Grace, I... 978 00:54:34,556 --> 00:54:36,297 I can't keep living off of your generosity. 979 00:54:36,317 --> 00:54:37,799 Eating your food and everything. 980 00:54:37,818 --> 00:54:38,650 [grace] so you'll work for me. 981 00:54:41,229 --> 00:54:42,470 What do you want me to do? 982 00:54:42,564 --> 00:54:44,489 [grace] well, actually, 983 00:54:44,716 --> 00:54:46,216 I'm starting a big project tomorrow. 984 00:54:46,234 --> 00:54:47,567 You'll help. 985 00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:49,328 I'll show you what to do. It'll be really interesting. 986 00:54:50,831 --> 00:54:52,238 Okay. 987 00:54:52,333 --> 00:54:53,723 Thank you. 988 00:54:53,742 --> 00:54:54,499 [grace] mm-hmm. 989 00:54:56,395 --> 00:54:57,985 Name and address. Contact information here. 990 00:54:58,005 --> 00:54:59,412 Don't forget to sign the release form. 991 00:54:59,565 --> 00:55:00,580 There's instructions 992 00:55:00,732 --> 00:55:02,824 On how to sign up for the download account. 993 00:55:02,843 --> 00:55:03,633 That's how you'll get your pictures. 994 00:55:06,013 --> 00:55:06,920 [grace] hey, everyone. 995 00:55:07,072 --> 00:55:07,846 I just wanted to say 996 00:55:08,073 --> 00:55:10,757 Thank you so much for participating 997 00:55:10,909 --> 00:55:12,851 And for your trust. 998 00:55:14,413 --> 00:55:15,245 So, this is what it's about. 999 00:55:15,263 --> 00:55:16,746 As you know, 1000 00:55:16,765 --> 00:55:19,674 I've been photographing people the world sees as a group, 1001 00:55:19,693 --> 00:55:22,419 And I want to humanize the individual. 1002 00:55:22,437 --> 00:55:24,604 You know, whether you're trans, or black, 1003 00:55:24,698 --> 00:55:25,697 Or amish, 1004 00:55:25,849 --> 00:55:26,923 Or an immigrant, 1005 00:55:26,942 --> 00:55:28,533 I want to know who you are. 1006 00:55:32,764 --> 00:55:34,280 You know, I learned a long time ago 1007 00:55:34,433 --> 00:55:36,433 That portrait is a dialogue, 1008 00:55:36,451 --> 00:55:38,526 So tell me, 1009 00:55:38,545 --> 00:55:40,045 How do you want the world to see you? 1010 00:55:41,456 --> 00:55:42,547 Gorgeous. 1011 00:55:42,774 --> 00:55:44,007 Yeah, stay there, stay there, stay there. 1012 00:55:45,794 --> 00:55:47,386 I need to get real close. I need to get real close. 1013 00:55:47,537 --> 00:55:49,613 [shutter clicking] 1014 00:55:49,631 --> 00:55:52,516 And how do you think the world actually sees you? 1015 00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:58,471 We're not getting any younger. 1016 00:55:58,624 --> 00:56:00,381 [rachel] you know this isn't easy for me. 1017 00:56:00,401 --> 00:56:01,458 [grace] yeah, well, sometimes, 1018 00:56:01,476 --> 00:56:02,884 You just gotta rip the band-aid off. 1019 00:56:02,903 --> 00:56:04,069 [rachel] I don't know what that means. 1020 00:56:06,222 --> 00:56:07,364 I'm coming out of the bedroom. 1021 00:56:09,576 --> 00:56:10,534 I'm walking down the hallway. 1022 00:56:12,638 --> 00:56:13,578 I'm coming into the living-room. 1023 00:56:19,978 --> 00:56:20,919 I... 1024 00:56:21,070 --> 00:56:22,254 I've never had trousers on before. 1025 00:56:25,500 --> 00:56:26,332 Is this a mistake? 1026 00:56:26,427 --> 00:56:27,484 It feels like it. 1027 00:56:27,502 --> 00:56:28,718 Do I look stupid? 1028 00:56:32,007 --> 00:56:32,889 One thing... 1029 00:56:35,494 --> 00:56:36,268 I'll do it. 1030 00:56:39,514 --> 00:56:43,900 [♪♪] 1031 00:56:51,526 --> 00:56:54,786 [♪♪] 1032 00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:09,134 [♪♪] 1033 00:57:17,385 --> 00:57:19,644 [♪♪] 1034 00:57:26,712 --> 00:57:29,395 You... 1035 00:57:29,490 --> 00:57:30,989 Are so beautiful. 1036 00:57:34,052 --> 00:57:35,118 I could cry. 1037 00:57:38,907 --> 00:57:42,501 [♪♪] 1038 00:57:50,660 --> 00:57:54,971 [♪♪] 1039 00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:07,192 [♪♪] 1040 00:58:15,018 --> 00:58:16,868 What do I think about? 1041 00:58:18,688 --> 00:58:19,996 [grace] think about who you are. 1042 00:58:23,935 --> 00:58:25,544 My mother once said you're not yourself. 1043 00:58:27,122 --> 00:58:28,213 And she was right. 1044 00:58:29,608 --> 00:58:30,549 I don't know 1045 00:58:30,700 --> 00:58:31,883 What it would feel like to be myself. 1046 00:58:33,536 --> 00:58:34,886 Or who that would even be. 1047 00:58:36,298 --> 00:58:38,014 [grace] someone strong. 1048 00:58:39,618 --> 00:58:40,892 Brave. 1049 00:58:43,805 --> 00:58:44,563 [camera shutter clicks] 1050 00:58:46,458 --> 00:58:47,381 [click] 1051 00:58:47,401 --> 00:58:48,382 [knocking on door] 1052 00:58:48,402 --> 00:58:49,401 [grace] chin up. 1053 00:58:49,552 --> 00:58:50,460 [cleve] it's nate. 1054 00:58:50,478 --> 00:58:51,236 Don't let him in! 1055 00:58:52,981 --> 00:58:54,739 [cleve] hey, come in. How's it going, nate? 1056 00:58:58,820 --> 00:58:59,894 [nate] uh... 1057 00:58:59,988 --> 00:59:02,063 Is everything okay? 1058 00:59:02,157 --> 00:59:03,582 Rachel? Is that you? 1059 00:59:22,661 --> 00:59:23,602 M'lady. 1060 00:59:30,110 --> 00:59:31,684 But don't come opening night. 1061 00:59:31,837 --> 00:59:32,736 Come on, like, the second week when we work out all the kinks. 1062 00:59:34,005 --> 00:59:35,021 I get one free comp, 1063 00:59:35,115 --> 00:59:37,340 So you guys are gonna have to fight it out 1064 00:59:37,359 --> 00:59:39,025 Or come on different days, 1065 00:59:39,177 --> 00:59:40,285 You know? 1066 00:59:40,436 --> 00:59:42,512 [grace] ahem. 1067 00:59:42,530 --> 00:59:44,013 Ah. Um, so, 1068 00:59:44,032 --> 00:59:45,123 Good night. 1069 00:59:47,185 --> 00:59:48,034 Hello. 1070 00:59:48,186 --> 00:59:49,628 [grace] I learned a new tune today. 1071 00:59:49,779 --> 00:59:51,537 [cleve] did you? 1072 00:59:51,690 --> 00:59:52,756 [grace] staying in the bedroom! 1073 01:00:01,141 --> 01:00:02,289 What? 1074 01:00:02,309 --> 01:00:03,141 Nothing. 1075 01:00:09,816 --> 01:00:12,150 Um... 1076 01:00:12,301 --> 01:00:14,135 I got a job today. 1077 01:00:14,154 --> 01:00:15,487 -You did? -Mm-hmm. 1078 01:00:17,065 --> 01:00:18,156 I park cars. 1079 01:00:18,383 --> 01:00:19,306 Okay. 1080 01:00:19,326 --> 01:00:21,493 Yeah. 1081 01:00:21,644 --> 01:00:22,494 It's good. 1082 01:00:24,313 --> 01:00:25,571 People just-- 1083 01:00:25,724 --> 01:00:26,831 They tip me. 1084 01:00:38,995 --> 01:00:40,178 I've wanted to do that for a while. 1085 01:00:41,589 --> 01:00:42,972 Me too. 1086 01:01:04,596 --> 01:01:05,870 I think-- 1087 01:01:06,022 --> 01:01:06,612 I think we should-- 1088 01:01:06,765 --> 01:01:08,039 It's okay, it's okay. 1089 01:01:08,191 --> 01:01:09,874 It's okay. 1090 01:01:11,286 --> 01:01:12,359 Nate, no. 1091 01:01:12,379 --> 01:01:13,770 Hey... 1092 01:01:13,788 --> 01:01:14,862 Hey. 1093 01:01:14,956 --> 01:01:16,030 I love you, rachel. 1094 01:01:16,049 --> 01:01:17,215 -I love you. -Please. 1095 01:01:18,443 --> 01:01:19,384 Please. 1096 01:01:23,223 --> 01:01:24,538 Stop. 1097 01:01:24,558 --> 01:01:26,057 It's okay, it's okay. 1098 01:01:27,302 --> 01:01:29,060 Nate! I said, no! 1099 01:01:29,212 --> 01:01:29,969 [glass shatters] 1100 01:01:30,063 --> 01:01:31,062 No, nate. 1101 01:01:33,625 --> 01:01:35,692 I said, no. 1102 01:01:37,312 --> 01:01:38,236 [grace] hey. 1103 01:01:38,387 --> 01:01:39,237 Is everything all right? 1104 01:01:40,982 --> 01:01:41,740 Yeah, yeah, we were just-- 1105 01:01:41,891 --> 01:01:42,907 I was asking rachel. 1106 01:01:46,321 --> 01:01:47,078 Good night, nate. 1107 01:01:52,068 --> 01:01:52,917 I'm sorry. 1108 01:02:01,836 --> 01:02:03,762 [♪♪] 1109 01:02:16,592 --> 01:02:17,834 [grace] I mean, they're the most honest subjects our there. 1110 01:02:17,852 --> 01:02:20,336 They don't actually pose, they just-- 1111 01:02:20,355 --> 01:02:22,188 -They just exist, right? -Yeah. 1112 01:02:22,340 --> 01:02:24,007 Hey, rachel. 1113 01:02:24,100 --> 01:02:25,450 Looks like one of your peeps. 1114 01:02:31,366 --> 01:02:33,274 [chuckles] he looks lost. 1115 01:02:33,293 --> 01:02:34,459 Might need your help. 1116 01:02:39,132 --> 01:02:41,615 -Hey... -You okay? 1117 01:02:41,635 --> 01:02:42,967 Do you--do you know him? 1118 01:02:45,972 --> 01:02:48,047 Okay. 1119 01:02:48,199 --> 01:02:50,475 I'll be right back. 1120 01:02:50,626 --> 01:02:52,477 [grace] is that him? 1121 01:02:52,704 --> 01:02:53,645 Okay. 1122 01:02:57,058 --> 01:02:59,108 [♪♪] 1123 01:03:12,999 --> 01:03:15,166 What did he say? 1124 01:03:15,318 --> 01:03:16,793 Rachel, your mom's in the hospital. 1125 01:03:18,505 --> 01:03:19,987 She's very sick. 1126 01:03:20,006 --> 01:03:21,172 She's asking for you. 1127 01:03:24,752 --> 01:03:26,085 [pa announcement] dr. Thompson to radiology. 1128 01:03:26,237 --> 01:03:27,345 Dr. Thompson to radiology. 1129 01:03:28,756 --> 01:03:30,014 [man] excuse me, nurse? 1130 01:03:36,672 --> 01:03:38,022 Which room is she in? 1131 01:03:42,696 --> 01:03:43,695 Dat, which room? 1132 01:03:47,942 --> 01:03:49,033 [monitor beeping] 1133 01:04:06,461 --> 01:04:08,702 I know you don't want to talk to me. 1134 01:04:08,722 --> 01:04:10,446 I don't blame you. 1135 01:04:10,465 --> 01:04:12,724 I know when I left, it caused you a lot of pain. 1136 01:04:15,896 --> 01:04:17,353 That probably made you sicker. 1137 01:04:22,460 --> 01:04:24,068 Remember when I told you about that fever beauty? 1138 01:04:26,297 --> 01:04:27,313 How you can see things in a way 1139 01:04:27,407 --> 01:04:28,722 That are so... 1140 01:04:28,742 --> 01:04:30,224 Clear and shocking 1141 01:04:30,243 --> 01:04:31,392 And... 1142 01:04:31,411 --> 01:04:32,911 Right? 1143 01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:35,896 That's you, mem. 1144 01:04:35,916 --> 01:04:37,582 That's the part of you that is in me. 1145 01:04:47,260 --> 01:04:50,486 I know you're supposed to shun me right now... 1146 01:04:50,505 --> 01:04:51,930 And I know it's out of love. 1147 01:04:55,918 --> 01:04:57,268 But I'm going to stay here 1148 01:04:57,420 --> 01:04:58,770 And I'm going to take care of you 1149 01:04:58,921 --> 01:04:59,845 Until you're better. 1150 01:04:59,998 --> 01:05:02,440 I will make it up to you, I promise. 1151 01:05:05,670 --> 01:05:07,261 Rachel... 1152 01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,280 What is it, mem? 1153 01:05:11,526 --> 01:05:12,675 I see you. 1154 01:05:12,694 --> 01:05:14,435 I'm sorry. I can change-- 1155 01:05:14,454 --> 01:05:15,954 I see... 1156 01:05:17,699 --> 01:05:18,623 ...Who you are. 1157 01:05:21,795 --> 01:05:22,919 Strong... 1158 01:05:25,356 --> 01:05:26,297 ...And true. 1159 01:05:29,877 --> 01:05:31,302 You are the best of us. 1160 01:05:33,548 --> 01:05:35,139 You are the one who can fly. 1161 01:05:39,646 --> 01:05:40,979 It was never your fault. 1162 01:05:43,149 --> 01:05:44,557 Never. 1163 01:05:44,709 --> 01:05:45,817 None of it. 1164 01:05:51,232 --> 01:05:52,323 Rachel... 1165 01:05:55,644 --> 01:05:57,644 ...The sea... 1166 01:05:57,664 --> 01:05:59,664 Knows. 1167 01:06:09,083 --> 01:06:13,011 [♪♪] 1168 01:06:25,433 --> 01:06:28,943 [♪♪] 1169 01:06:39,447 --> 01:06:44,042 [♪♪] 1170 01:06:55,463 --> 01:06:59,724 [♪♪] 1171 01:07:13,147 --> 01:07:17,075 [♪♪] 1172 01:07:29,255 --> 01:07:33,424 [♪♪] 1173 01:07:44,679 --> 01:07:48,689 [♪♪] 1174 01:07:59,193 --> 01:08:01,510 ♪ this world is not my home ♪ 1175 01:08:01,529 --> 01:08:04,697 ♪ I'm just a-passing through ♪ 1176 01:08:04,849 --> 01:08:10,870 ♪ my treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue ♪ 1177 01:08:11,022 --> 01:08:16,450 ♪ the angels beckon me from heaven's open door ♪ 1178 01:08:16,544 --> 01:08:22,807 ♪ and I can't feel at home in this world anymore ♪ 1179 01:08:22,958 --> 01:08:28,888 ♪ o lord, you know I have no friend like you ♪ 1180 01:08:28,982 --> 01:08:34,819 ♪ if heaven's not my home then, lord, what will I do? ♪ 1181 01:08:35,046 --> 01:08:40,474 ♪ the angels beckon me from heaven's open door ♪ 1182 01:08:40,568 --> 01:08:46,330 ♪ and I can't feel at home in this world anymore ♪ 1183 01:08:48,501 --> 01:08:51,502 ♪ they're all expecting me ♪ 1184 01:08:51,654 --> 01:08:55,173 ♪ and that's one thing I know ♪ 1185 01:08:55,324 --> 01:09:01,495 ♪ my savior pardoned me and now I onward go ♪ 1186 01:09:01,589 --> 01:09:06,742 ♪ I know he'll take me through though I am weak and poor ♪ 1187 01:09:06,761 --> 01:09:12,273 ♪ and I can't feel at home in this world anymore ♪ 1188 01:09:23,611 --> 01:09:25,369 I weep for you, rachel. 1189 01:09:27,356 --> 01:09:28,873 Thank you. 1190 01:09:30,543 --> 01:09:32,335 It is you who have died. 1191 01:09:34,956 --> 01:09:38,007 You we have buried today. 1192 01:09:42,204 --> 01:09:43,963 I'll pray for you, rachel. 1193 01:09:44,115 --> 01:09:46,682 Pray that you find your way back to god. 1194 01:09:48,953 --> 01:09:51,395 Pray that it's not too late. 1195 01:09:58,813 --> 01:10:04,242 [♪♪] 1196 01:10:12,735 --> 01:10:16,545 [♪♪] 1197 01:10:24,246 --> 01:10:27,765 [♪♪] 1198 01:10:38,002 --> 01:10:39,668 [dat] thank you, ladies. That was wonderful. 1199 01:10:39,687 --> 01:10:41,003 [bishop's wife] I'll put the lamb up. 1200 01:10:41,022 --> 01:10:42,405 They can have that for supper tonight. 1201 01:10:52,125 --> 01:10:53,207 Rachel, where did your mother keep-- 1202 01:10:54,460 --> 01:10:57,202 Oh. I'll find it. 1203 01:10:57,297 --> 01:10:59,538 [bishop's wife] I think we brought too much bread. 1204 01:10:59,690 --> 01:11:03,542 I'll take some loaves home and bring fresh on Wednesday. 1205 01:11:03,636 --> 01:11:05,928 [woman] sara's canning was always so organized. 1206 01:11:08,032 --> 01:11:11,458 She was a wonderful mother to her children. 1207 01:11:11,477 --> 01:11:12,310 I will miss her. 1208 01:11:14,055 --> 01:11:15,888 I remember when my mother died. 1209 01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:17,481 There was so much I wish I had done for her. 1210 01:11:19,802 --> 01:11:22,135 It took me many years to forgive myself 1211 01:11:22,155 --> 01:11:23,896 And realize... 1212 01:11:24,048 --> 01:11:25,489 I had done my best. 1213 01:11:28,402 --> 01:11:29,643 Mothers and daughters-- 1214 01:11:29,737 --> 01:11:31,329 It's always bumpy 1215 01:11:31,480 --> 01:11:33,998 And the conversation is always left unfinished. 1216 01:11:36,394 --> 01:11:37,668 I think about friends 1217 01:11:37,820 --> 01:11:41,063 Who will reach out their hands and their hearts to me, 1218 01:11:41,082 --> 01:11:42,581 No matter what I've done. 1219 01:11:42,675 --> 01:11:44,842 Always there with guidance when we need them. 1220 01:11:46,253 --> 01:11:49,013 In these difficult times. 1221 01:12:06,090 --> 01:12:06,989 Amen. 1222 01:12:22,197 --> 01:12:23,939 Children, go upstairs. 1223 01:12:23,958 --> 01:12:25,549 Yes, dat. 1224 01:12:34,727 --> 01:12:36,727 Rachel, sit down. 1225 01:12:42,068 --> 01:12:44,235 Here with me. 1226 01:12:56,249 --> 01:12:57,915 Much has changed since we last spoke. 1227 01:12:59,401 --> 01:13:01,160 Many things have... 1228 01:13:01,312 --> 01:13:03,254 Happened. 1229 01:13:03,405 --> 01:13:06,665 We have... 1230 01:13:06,817 --> 01:13:10,428 We have both made choices that we will have to live with. 1231 01:13:11,914 --> 01:13:12,596 I spoke with the bishop. 1232 01:13:15,993 --> 01:13:17,393 You may be forgiven. 1233 01:13:19,830 --> 01:13:21,997 You must earn your way back into the church. 1234 01:13:22,016 --> 01:13:24,191 It will be hard work, but it can be done... 1235 01:13:25,761 --> 01:13:28,946 ...And we can live together again in the sight of god. 1236 01:13:30,283 --> 01:13:31,574 You will find a nice young man in church... 1237 01:13:33,027 --> 01:13:34,176 ...Someone to care for, 1238 01:13:34,195 --> 01:13:35,744 And it needn't be iddo. 1239 01:13:40,701 --> 01:13:41,792 Bevin and the boys need their sister. 1240 01:13:44,855 --> 01:13:47,047 This house needs to be cared for. 1241 01:13:49,451 --> 01:13:51,210 Stay with us, rachel. 1242 01:13:51,362 --> 01:13:53,712 Here... 1243 01:13:53,806 --> 01:13:55,306 You are loved. 1244 01:14:18,331 --> 01:14:19,955 Dat says I'm not supposed to talk to you. 1245 01:14:21,392 --> 01:14:23,167 I know. 1246 01:14:23,394 --> 01:14:25,169 But I guess I'm already talking. 1247 01:14:26,397 --> 01:14:27,671 I guess so. 1248 01:14:30,492 --> 01:14:31,992 What are you doing? 1249 01:14:32,011 --> 01:14:33,994 I'm looking through mem's hope chest. 1250 01:14:34,013 --> 01:14:35,846 It was a gift for her 16th birthday, 1251 01:14:35,998 --> 01:14:37,089 And she put things in it 1252 01:14:37,241 --> 01:14:38,516 For the day she'd be married. 1253 01:14:38,667 --> 01:14:39,642 Things she'd need. 1254 01:14:41,078 --> 01:14:41,852 [bevin] so it's full of her hope? 1255 01:14:42,079 --> 01:14:43,428 Yes. 1256 01:14:43,523 --> 01:14:44,855 Full of her hope. 1257 01:14:51,531 --> 01:14:52,780 Bevin, do you know why I left? 1258 01:14:56,035 --> 01:14:57,776 Because I did something wrong. 1259 01:14:57,928 --> 01:14:59,444 What? 1260 01:14:59,539 --> 01:15:01,780 No. Why would you think that? 1261 01:15:01,874 --> 01:15:03,040 I don't know. 1262 01:15:03,191 --> 01:15:04,041 Oh, bevin! 1263 01:15:05,694 --> 01:15:06,618 You did nothing wrong. 1264 01:15:06,712 --> 01:15:08,462 You are perfect. 1265 01:15:10,032 --> 01:15:11,131 Then why did you go? 1266 01:15:14,053 --> 01:15:15,344 Hope, I guess. 1267 01:15:33,981 --> 01:15:35,130 [bevin] look, it's mem! 1268 01:15:35,149 --> 01:15:37,074 She looks so beautiful. 1269 01:15:37,225 --> 01:15:38,325 Did she make this? 1270 01:15:52,483 --> 01:15:53,424 [rachel] all the things she dreamed about. 1271 01:15:56,095 --> 01:15:57,761 All the things she could have been. 1272 01:16:07,773 --> 01:16:09,106 "the sea knows" 1273 01:16:10,943 --> 01:16:13,736 The sea knows. 1274 01:16:15,097 --> 01:16:16,338 [rachel, reading] "in the countless blue drops 1275 01:16:16,357 --> 01:16:19,675 Of her restless heart 1276 01:16:19,693 --> 01:16:22,268 In the splash and the salt 1277 01:16:22,288 --> 01:16:26,031 She knows the possibilities of each and every drop 1278 01:16:26,125 --> 01:16:27,607 Who they are 1279 01:16:27,627 --> 01:16:31,277 And how they magnify each other 1280 01:16:31,297 --> 01:16:32,713 How they keep their secrets..." 1281 01:16:36,543 --> 01:16:37,876 "the sea knows everything 1282 01:16:37,970 --> 01:16:39,428 Except herself." 1283 01:16:44,702 --> 01:16:45,884 Mem was a poet and an artist 1284 01:16:46,036 --> 01:16:47,311 All these years ago. 1285 01:16:50,298 --> 01:16:51,732 But why did she stop? 1286 01:17:04,312 --> 01:17:08,290 [♪♪] 1287 01:17:16,658 --> 01:17:20,636 [♪♪] 1288 01:17:28,020 --> 01:17:32,356 [♪♪] 1289 01:17:44,929 --> 01:17:46,762 ♪ through the floodgates of god's mercy ♪ 1290 01:17:46,780 --> 01:17:51,041 ♪ flowed a vast and gracious tide ♪ 1291 01:17:51,193 --> 01:17:56,046 ♪ grace and love like mighty rivers ♪ 1292 01:17:56,198 --> 01:18:01,777 ♪ poured incessant from above ♪ 1293 01:18:01,795 --> 01:18:06,557 ♪ heaven's peace and perfect justice ♪ 1294 01:18:06,708 --> 01:18:12,396 ♪ kissed a guilty world in love ♪ 1295 01:18:14,625 --> 01:18:16,066 Bishop. 1296 01:18:19,721 --> 01:18:21,488 I know I have no voice in here, but I have a confession. 1297 01:18:24,410 --> 01:18:25,725 I need a place to talk to god 1298 01:18:25,745 --> 01:18:28,162 And a place to maybe find some hope. 1299 01:18:29,656 --> 01:18:31,323 I've been told there's a chance for me to come back, 1300 01:18:31,475 --> 01:18:32,332 And... 1301 01:18:33,568 --> 01:18:34,826 ...Maybe you'll find it in your heart 1302 01:18:34,979 --> 01:18:36,003 To allow me to speak. 1303 01:18:37,314 --> 01:18:38,922 Please. Come in, rachel. 1304 01:18:53,831 --> 01:18:56,181 I have been weak... 1305 01:18:56,333 --> 01:18:57,733 And selfish. 1306 01:19:00,112 --> 01:19:01,737 I have made a lot of mistakes. 1307 01:19:05,526 --> 01:19:07,201 I need your help to get right with god. 1308 01:19:09,622 --> 01:19:11,079 I believe what I've learned in this church. 1309 01:19:13,125 --> 01:19:14,199 "I know that the lord 1310 01:19:14,293 --> 01:19:16,627 Will maintain the cause of the afflicted 1311 01:19:16,778 --> 01:19:17,961 And will execute justice for the needy." 1312 01:19:21,542 --> 01:19:22,966 I've learned that in here and at home. 1313 01:19:26,363 --> 01:19:27,763 It's a good lesson. 1314 01:19:29,475 --> 01:19:31,266 That's why I love this church. 1315 01:19:38,484 --> 01:19:39,650 I'm confessing a sin. 1316 01:19:41,821 --> 01:19:42,986 I ran away in secret, 1317 01:19:43,213 --> 01:19:44,563 And it was cowardly, 1318 01:19:44,715 --> 01:19:46,731 And... 1319 01:19:46,884 --> 01:19:48,951 It's a sin that goes against everything that I was taught. 1320 01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:57,334 So I will tell you now 1321 01:19:57,485 --> 01:19:59,911 That I am... 1322 01:20:00,064 --> 01:20:01,730 I'm leaving the church 1323 01:20:01,823 --> 01:20:03,006 And my family and my home. 1324 01:20:05,493 --> 01:20:07,069 And it will break my heart 1325 01:20:07,087 --> 01:20:08,403 And it will be lonely and difficult, 1326 01:20:08,422 --> 01:20:10,264 But I will do it with my head held high. 1327 01:20:11,666 --> 01:20:12,832 It is the only way 1328 01:20:12,852 --> 01:20:14,076 I can take responsibility for what I believe. 1329 01:20:14,094 --> 01:20:15,760 Rachel! Be still! 1330 01:20:15,913 --> 01:20:17,020 I will not be still! 1331 01:20:21,418 --> 01:20:23,343 I came to you for protection 1332 01:20:23,362 --> 01:20:24,528 And you beat me. 1333 01:20:29,034 --> 01:20:30,450 You have nothing to say to me. 1334 01:20:33,355 --> 01:20:35,597 I will miss you every day of my life, 1335 01:20:35,616 --> 01:20:36,598 But I do not trust you. 1336 01:20:36,617 --> 01:20:38,125 You destroyed that trust. 1337 01:20:42,548 --> 01:20:43,505 I have learned something else. 1338 01:20:46,534 --> 01:20:47,551 Something my mother has taught me. 1339 01:20:52,799 --> 01:20:54,558 I think I'm starting to understand who I am. 1340 01:20:57,045 --> 01:20:59,187 There's this other rachel who needs my protection. 1341 01:21:00,733 --> 01:21:02,149 Who needs a safe place to grow. 1342 01:21:05,738 --> 01:21:10,632 No matter how hard that is... 1343 01:21:10,725 --> 01:21:12,701 I have to give her a chance. 1344 01:21:16,140 --> 01:21:17,539 And one other thing. 1345 01:21:19,084 --> 01:21:20,208 I'm not gone for good. 1346 01:21:21,478 --> 01:21:23,045 I will be visiting. 1347 01:21:25,758 --> 01:21:30,835 And if I hear that anyone touched my little sister... 1348 01:21:30,930 --> 01:21:34,765 Or was... 1349 01:21:34,992 --> 01:21:37,267 "inappropriate" with any other woman... 1350 01:21:39,846 --> 01:21:41,329 ...I will have the police here so fast, 1351 01:21:41,423 --> 01:21:42,272 You won't know what hit you. 1352 01:21:47,020 --> 01:21:47,903 Rachel! 1353 01:21:54,102 --> 01:21:58,622 [♪♪] 1354 01:22:07,967 --> 01:22:12,469 [♪♪] 1355 01:22:29,637 --> 01:22:33,907 [♪♪] 1356 01:22:39,498 --> 01:22:40,664 [nate] how long 1357 01:22:40,815 --> 01:22:42,724 Do you think you're going to stay at grace's? 1358 01:22:42,743 --> 01:22:44,668 She'll let me stay until I find a job. 1359 01:22:47,822 --> 01:22:48,964 Maybe we could park cars together? 1360 01:22:50,342 --> 01:22:51,491 I don't think so. 1361 01:22:51,510 --> 01:22:54,586 Why not? 1362 01:22:54,738 --> 01:22:55,754 I got fired. 1363 01:22:55,906 --> 01:22:58,331 You'll find another job. 1364 01:22:58,350 --> 01:23:00,258 Look, rachel, 1365 01:23:00,352 --> 01:23:01,935 I'm just going to move back in with my parents. 1366 01:23:04,581 --> 01:23:06,023 Things aren't working out for me out there, 1367 01:23:06,250 --> 01:23:07,649 So I'm just gonna start my baptism classes. 1368 01:23:10,437 --> 01:23:11,445 -Are you sure? -Yeah. 1369 01:23:16,426 --> 01:23:17,367 Where are we going? 1370 01:23:19,687 --> 01:23:21,446 There's something I want you to do. 1371 01:23:21,540 --> 01:23:22,539 I think you... 1372 01:23:22,690 --> 01:23:23,615 I think... 1373 01:23:23,709 --> 01:23:25,950 You know what, 1374 01:23:26,103 --> 01:23:27,294 There's something you need to do. 1375 01:23:28,438 --> 01:23:29,212 For you. 1376 01:23:37,389 --> 01:23:39,723 Um... 1377 01:23:39,874 --> 01:23:41,224 I don't think I'm going to see you after today. 1378 01:23:43,395 --> 01:23:44,644 I understand. 1379 01:24:01,396 --> 01:24:06,208 [♪♪] 1380 01:24:10,738 --> 01:24:15,008 [♪♪] 1381 01:24:23,602 --> 01:24:25,268 Give her a minute. 1382 01:24:35,172 --> 01:24:36,738 Show them who you are. 1383 01:24:47,275 --> 01:24:49,033 [rachel, writing] dear bevin, 1384 01:24:49,128 --> 01:24:52,629 What do you think of the drawings I sent you? 1385 01:24:52,856 --> 01:24:54,038 I think I'm getting better every day, 1386 01:24:54,133 --> 01:24:56,024 But... 1387 01:24:56,042 --> 01:24:57,709 I have a long way to go. 1388 01:24:57,861 --> 01:24:58,802 [children laughing] 1389 01:24:59,972 --> 01:25:00,929 Got you! 1390 01:25:02,532 --> 01:25:04,366 [girl] okay, ready? 1391 01:25:04,459 --> 01:25:05,642 You're it! 1392 01:25:09,206 --> 01:25:09,980 [rachel] it's time. 1393 01:25:12,818 --> 01:25:13,966 [bevin] okay. 1394 01:25:14,060 --> 01:25:14,634 [rachel] I'm not gone for good, you know? 1395 01:25:14,728 --> 01:25:15,801 I'm going to visit. 1396 01:25:15,821 --> 01:25:16,611 [bevin] I know. 1397 01:25:18,064 --> 01:25:19,063 But, bevin, I want you to know that-- 1398 01:25:19,216 --> 01:25:20,115 I know all this stuff. 1399 01:25:23,144 --> 01:25:24,161 Don't worry. 1400 01:25:28,333 --> 01:25:29,666 Here. 1401 01:25:34,414 --> 01:25:36,006 It's you. 1402 01:25:38,660 --> 01:25:42,846 [♪♪] 1403 01:25:47,911 --> 01:25:50,336 [rachel, writing] I'm finding that mem was right. 1404 01:25:50,430 --> 01:25:53,264 The sea knows. 1405 01:25:53,417 --> 01:25:56,100 It knows how to be calm and sure. 1406 01:25:56,195 --> 01:25:58,436 It knows when to be fierce. 1407 01:25:58,588 --> 01:26:00,614 It knows where it belongs. 1408 01:26:02,684 --> 01:26:04,201 I think maybe I can learn from it. 1409 01:26:05,429 --> 01:26:07,353 I'm trying anyway. 1410 01:26:07,372 --> 01:26:09,355 Mem would like that. 1411 01:26:09,449 --> 01:26:11,449 I'm so excited 1412 01:26:11,543 --> 01:26:12,959 That you're coming to visit me next week. 1413 01:26:14,379 --> 01:26:16,454 I'll show you where I live. 1414 01:26:16,548 --> 01:26:17,547 I'll take you to the beach, 1415 01:26:17,699 --> 01:26:19,466 And we'll walk, and we'll swim... 1416 01:26:21,294 --> 01:26:22,719 ...And we'll see what happens next. 1417 01:26:24,130 --> 01:26:27,057 All my love, me. 1418 01:26:29,561 --> 01:26:35,398 [♪♪] 1419 01:26:51,065 --> 01:26:55,418 [♪♪]