1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,000 [♪ "The Man With The Bag" playing] 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,280 - [clattering] - [dog yelps] 3 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,120 Oh. [chuckles] 4 00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,280 Gertrude. 5 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,840 [Rupert] Seems like you've been a very naughty girl this year, Nathalie. 6 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,320 I'm so sorry, Santa. 7 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:36,200 Are you gonna have to stuff my stocking with a great big lump of coal? 8 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:37,680 I'm afraid so. 9 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,000 [music continues] 10 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,400 "Darling Taggie". 11 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,440 What's this say? I can't read the writing. 12 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,120 "Darling Taggie, So sorry for being such a colossal shit. 13 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,080 Have a lovely Christmas. With love, R." 14 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,400 What? 15 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,240 Oh, my God. [pants] 16 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:33,560 Caitlin, look. 17 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,080 It's beautiful. 18 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,480 [chuckles] It's from Ralphie. 19 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,600 He's buying you bracelets, Tag. 20 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,000 He loves you. 21 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,480 Oh, my God. You should invite him to Patrick's birthday party. 22 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,040 - He's already invited. - [gasps] 23 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,920 This party's gonna be completely epic. 24 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,840 [chuckling] Oh, my God. [sighs] 25 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,880 Yay! [groans] 26 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,720 [♪ opera music playing] 27 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,280 [engine rumbling] 28 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:10,960 [Caitlin] Come on, Mummy. 29 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,680 But if you had to have sex with one of them, which would it be? 30 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,720 Jesus, Judas or Pontius Pilate? 31 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,920 Well, Pontius obviously. Much better parties. 32 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,560 Oh, Jesus would be so preachy. 33 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,200 Really? I always thought you liked a chatty fella. 34 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,280 [doorbell rings] 35 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,160 Who the fuck turns up during Christmas dinner? 36 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,720 Maybe it's Rupert. 37 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,040 [sighs] Better not be. 38 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,760 [barks] 39 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,720 [barking continues] 40 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,920 - [Caitlin gasps] - [Declan exclaims] 41 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,200 - Patrick! [groans, chuckles] - [chuckles] Look who it is. 42 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,560 Oh, my darling. 43 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,280 [sighs] We weren't expecting you till the 28th. 44 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,520 Lavinia and I broke up. 45 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,600 She didn't like the first edition Kafka I got her. 46 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:50,760 [Caitlin chuckles] What? 47 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,520 [Taggie] How can someone break up with you over a gift? 48 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,400 [Patrick] Well, I was the one that broke up with her. 49 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,480 She didn't have much celestial light. 50 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,080 And I think if you really like someone, there's meant to be more celestial light. 51 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,040 I can't believe my baby boy is going to be 21. 52 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,640 That makes us officially old. 53 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,920 [Maud] Hey, speak for yourself. What have you brought us? 54 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,040 Dirty washing for Taggie. 55 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,520 Merry Christmas, my darling. 56 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,480 - [Taggie] I've missed you. [groans] - [Declan] Come on, kids. Let's eat. 57 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,520 [Taggie chuckles] I'm not doing that, you know? 58 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,800 I'm starving. 59 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,440 [line ringing] 60 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,400 - [Helen] Hello. - Hi, Helen. Me again. 61 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,680 Are the kids around? 62 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,360 [Helen] Oh, sorry. Bad timing. We're just watching a movie. 63 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,640 Perhaps you could try again tomorrow. 64 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,920 Tomorrow's not Christmas. 65 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,320 Yeah, but I get them on Christmas, so… 66 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,480 [whispers] Did they at least like their presents? 67 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,720 Let's speak tomorrow. Bye. 68 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,920 [children chuckling] 69 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,400 [sighs] 70 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,040 Right. 71 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,720 You ready for me to come down your chimney? 72 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,320 [chuckles] 73 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,360 [grunts] 74 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,000 [♪ radio jingle playing] 75 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,520 [radio host] It's New Year's Eve, and as we say goodbye to 1986, 76 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,440 who will you be kissing at the stroke of midnight tonight? 77 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,920 [Lizzie] Morning. 78 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,440 You have no idea what I had to promise the farmer to get all these eggs. 79 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,400 - [Caitlin chuckles] - Oh, thank you so much, Lizzie. 80 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,320 Do chickens orgasm? 81 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,480 No, the cock doesn't even penetrate them. 82 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,280 - Oh. That's so sad. - [Lizzie] Some might see it as a blessing. 83 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,680 Turns out neither the chicken nor the egg came first. 84 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,280 [Caitlin chuckles] 85 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,960 - So, did you or Ralphie come first? - Caitlin. 86 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,800 Who's Ralphie? 87 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,960 - Patrick's friend. - Ah, yes. 88 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,480 He's totally in love with Taggie. He sent her a bracelet. 89 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,200 - Stop it. - Oh, Taggie. It's lovely. 90 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,280 Thank you. 91 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,360 Is he coming tonight? 92 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,600 Girls, which one of you two bloody thieves have my cream? 93 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,440 I forgot to get a bikini line wax. 94 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,080 Hello, Lizzie. 95 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,880 [kisses] Am I seeing you later? 96 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,400 - I wouldn't miss it. [chuckles] - [chuckling] Great. 97 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,720 - The cream. - Top bathroom. 98 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,960 - [Lizzie chuckles] - See you tonight, Lizzie. 99 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,320 Mummy's already tried on at least 15 dresses, 100 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,120 and each one is smaller than the last. 101 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,160 How long do you think it's gonna take her to ensnare Rupert tonight? 102 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,200 Mummy wouldn't do that to Daddy. Not again. 103 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,360 Yes, she would. 104 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,120 Daddy's been working non-stop. 105 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,080 I bet you anything Mummy's gonna go for Rupert. 106 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,760 Well, I don't think Rupert's even coming. 107 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,160 - [Caitlin] Hmm. - Let's hope not. 108 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,000 Don't work too hard tonight. 109 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,440 Make sure you find some time for your lovely Ralphie. 110 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,800 He's a lucky boy. 111 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,880 [Seb] Uh, we've done all this research on Rupert, 112 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,400 but what if he won't agree to be interviewed? 113 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,120 Don't worry. He will. 114 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,880 All right. So we start with the horsewhipping 115 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,480 and move up to the cabinet minister's wife and his daughter. 116 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,560 Wrong. English people care more about horses than they do women. 117 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,040 We end with the horses and the Olympics. 118 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,840 Imagine if this works. 119 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,720 We annihilate the smug fucker on national television. 120 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,960 Hello. [sniffs] What time do you want us all for the party tonight, Declan? 121 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,240 Oh. Wasn't expecting to see you there, Charles. 122 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,760 Um, eight o'clock should be grand. 123 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,160 [stammers] Are you okay, Charles? You look a little worn. 124 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,640 Uh, my mother's not been very well. 125 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,840 There's only me, so it's not been easy. 126 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,280 - Sorry. - [inhales sharply, chuckles] 127 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,120 Uh, will you be gracing us with one of your stunning frocks tonight? 128 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,000 She's invited you too, has she? 129 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,200 Yeah, but I-I deci-- 130 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,080 No, we agreed she should stay here and help Deirdre and Seb 131 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,880 with the New Year's Eve feeds instead. 132 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,160 Yeah. I decided not to go. 133 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:46,800 [Tony] Someone's gotta keep the lights on. 134 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,200 And Cinderella will go to the ball, just not this one. 135 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,960 Happy New Year, all. 136 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,000 - Oh, good. Daysee's opening champagne. - Oh, Christ. 137 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,560 It'd be quieter to work from home. 138 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,600 - Let's pick this up next week, yeah? - [Tony] Come on, Deirdre. 139 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,720 - [Daysee] Champagne, Declan? - No, thanks. 140 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,480 I'll see you at your party later. 141 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 [sighs] 142 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,400 Paddy's still behaving then? 143 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,560 Oh, yes. Declan's my pussycat. Happy New Year. 144 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,040 [glasses clink] 145 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,160 Maud! 146 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,520 For fuck's sake. 147 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,200 - Oop-- - Maud! 148 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,840 - How many people did you invite? - A few. Why? 149 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,680 Because I thought we said 30, 150 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,240 but you've invited everybody from the bloody office. 151 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,120 Are you trying to kill me? Hmm? 152 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,480 You've taken me out of a fucking city 153 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:53,960 - where I had actual friends… - [sighs] F-- 154 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,360 …and an actual life, and you've plopped me in the back of beyond. 155 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,600 So, yes, Declan, I am having a party. 156 00:08:58,680 --> 00:08:59,920 I need a party. 157 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,280 You need a party, and it's our son's birthday, for God's sake. 158 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,320 Still paying off the bloody London leaving do. 159 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,600 Well, that's hardly my fault, is it? 160 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,840 I'm not the one that brought us to this bloody kip. 161 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,040 And anyway, I'm very busy. 162 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,920 I still have to work out where everybody's going to sit. 163 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,840 The cavalry's here. 164 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,600 [sighs] 165 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,240 Don't expect too much from Mr Makepiece. 166 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,760 He's next to useless. 167 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,920 - I'm here, aren't I? - Thank you so much. 168 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,480 We're never gonna be ready in time. 169 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,360 Hi, I'm Shelley. 170 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,360 I like your top. 171 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,600 [Mrs Makepiece] Any time today, Kevin. 172 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,400 I didn't realise we were on the clock, Mother. 173 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,480 Hand me that peeler and we'll be done in a jiffy. 174 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:43,760 It'll be all right, Taggie. 175 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,080 Oh, thank you. 176 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,760 Why would you want to sit next to him after what he did to me? 177 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,400 Oh, don't be so overdramatic, darling. 178 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,000 I'd consider yourself lucky if I were you. 179 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,200 [grunting] 180 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,280 Maud! 181 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:25,720 Maud! 182 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,000 Are you sure there's enough? 183 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,840 Oh, God. Probably not. 184 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:49,960 I'll peel some more. 185 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,600 Fuck me. 186 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,600 [mouthing words] Fuck me. 187 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,000 Ralphie's here. He's just unpacking the car. 188 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,480 Oh, thank you. That's so sweet of you. 189 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,520 The journey from London was frightful. 190 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,480 Oh, I'm sorry. This is Ralphie's room. 191 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,120 Mine too. I'm Georgina, his girlfriend. 192 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,560 [Ralphie] Hello, Tag. 193 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:34,360 I hope it's okay to squeeze us both in. 194 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,560 Patrick did say I was allowed a plus-one. 195 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:37,640 [Taggie stammers] 196 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,800 Um, of course. I-- I'll bring a second towel. [chuckles] 197 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,160 [sobbing] 198 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:00,640 [sighs] 199 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,720 [Patrick] I'm so sorry, Tag. I didn't know. 200 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,480 I can't believe I'm so stupid. 201 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,040 You are not stupid. 202 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,520 You're one of the most insightful people I've ever met. 203 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,160 Insightful? I'm the opposite of insightful. 204 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,880 I'm just a stupid one-night stand. 205 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,640 You're too good for him. Taggie, seriously. 206 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,240 He's not worthy of you. 207 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,840 There'll be other boys here tonight. Show him what he's missing. 208 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,320 You're the best person ever, Tag. 209 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,840 [♪ "Love Action (I Believe in Love)" playing] 210 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,320 Give us a smile, Mr Vereker. 211 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,880 Uh, if I must. 212 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,120 Tights, Lizzie. Tights. 213 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,800 [Lizzie] Oh, no. Oh, when did that happen? 214 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,760 - Come on. Thank you. - I'm really sorry. 215 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,600 - I don't know why I-- - Just keep walking. Keep walking! 216 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,840 Oh, wow. Paparazzi. 217 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,920 All right, no drinking. You can only talk to Caitlin. 218 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,320 Are there gonna be lots of people from telly here tonight? 219 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,120 Yeah, all the stars. 220 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,240 You'll be shining the brightest though, my angel. 221 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,480 [chattering, laughing] 222 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,280 Where did she find them all? 223 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,640 It's like a UN convention. 224 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,160 [Freddie] It's terrific, innit? 225 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,120 Wayne, follow me. 226 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,560 - Freddie. - [Freddie] You all right, Tone? 227 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,840 I've been looking at your development plans… 228 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:32,760 Oh, yes. 229 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,520 …and I wanted to talk to you about whether anime 230 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,480 could be a good area to investigate. 231 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,360 It's New Year's Eve, Freddie. We should be celebrating, not working. 232 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,920 What about a cooking competition? 233 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,200 - They ain't done that yet, have they? - Ah. 234 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,520 That sounds smashing, Freddie. 235 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,040 Yeah, we've been having ideas all night. Ain't we, Wayne? 236 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,480 - [Wayne] Yeah. - [Freddie] I'll catch you later. 237 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,400 So, how do I look? 238 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,640 Like the newest member of the Corinium board? 239 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:57,560 Now Campbell-Black has said no, they'll need a local MP more than ever. 240 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,440 You look very like a local MP. 241 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,200 Thank you. 242 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,400 Tony. Tony. Tony. 243 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,080 Just need a word. Um… 244 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,560 What perfect timing. I was worried I was late. 245 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,360 Meet me at the folly at midnight. 246 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,920 - I'll see you there. - Yeah. 247 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,560 What a load of posh cunts. 248 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,680 [scoffs] We're gonna have to get off with one of these posh cunts tonight, Kev, 249 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:23,080 'cause marrying one's the only way we're gonna get out of this bumfuck town. 250 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,880 I thought there were meant to be celebrities here. 251 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,120 - Well, there's definitely one. - Where? 252 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,640 Oh, my God. Is that Joanna Lumley at two o'clock? 253 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,600 [laughing] 254 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,000 Um, be right back. 255 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,880 - Uh, Joanna. - [Sarah] Oh, I really love Joanna Lumley. 256 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,040 I think this is such a nice dress. I really like it. 257 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,680 - [Daysee] You like it? - Yeah. It's very pink. 258 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,320 - It looks really good on you. - [Daysee] Oh, thanks. [stammers] 259 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,760 [music continues] 260 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,080 I think we can have another drink. 261 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,600 Where's your mother? 262 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,640 [camel grunting] 263 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,160 [partygoers gasping, cheering] 264 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,640 - [whistling] - Oh, my God. 265 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,720 [laughing] 266 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,040 - [cheering continues] - [sighs] 267 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,480 Jesus Christ. 268 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,320 [chuckles] 269 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,320 [Basil] My, my, my. 270 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,400 - Very good. - Yeah. 271 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,200 Tell you what, Declan is a lucky man. 272 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,640 What I wouldn't give to be ridden like that camel. 273 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,880 - Darling. Absolutely fabulous. - Oh. [scoffs] 274 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,640 [Maud chuckles] 275 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,640 - Come on then. - [camel grunts] 276 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,280 - You always knew how to make an entrance. - [Maud chuckles] 277 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,480 Did you have to practise on the camel? 278 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,720 Maud can get most beasts to do what she wants. 279 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,920 [guest] When are you gonna come back to London, hmm, 280 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,280 and let me immortalise you in one of my films? 281 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,520 Ugh. You should have offered me that when I was there. 282 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,800 It's too late now. I'm stuck in this godawful prison. 283 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,560 It's hardly Colditz, my love. 284 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,520 Have we met? Sure I've seen your face before. 285 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:12,720 No, I don't believe we have. 286 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,680 Tony, this is Patrick's godfather, Malhar Verma. 287 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,200 Malhar, this is Tony Baddingham, 288 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,200 ruthless businessman who controls the arts in the south-west. 289 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,360 Tony, Malhar, brilliant film-maker and, uh… [clears throat] …terrible scoundrel. 290 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,640 I imagine you'll both get on very well. 291 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,400 - [Tony, Malhar chuckle] - [Declan] Mm-hmm. 292 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,040 [sighing] 293 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,080 [Lizzie] Oh, hello. 294 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,320 I thought if we all came in, they'd be more likely to feed us. 295 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,200 Great minds. 296 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,320 [Freddie grunts] 297 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,000 Ooh. 298 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,480 - Don't tell Valerie. - I wouldn't dream of it. 299 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,640 Thank you. 300 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,440 Hmm. 301 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,400 James is cross with me for having a ladder in my tights. 302 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,960 - Really? - Yeah. 303 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,000 I love a ladder. 304 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,480 Stairway to heaven and all that. 305 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,360 As if it was Knot's Landing that just draw the line like that-- 306 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,960 Mum, it's almost ten. If we don't eat soon, it's gonna be "indelible." 307 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,200 Inedible, darling. And I'm sorry but-- [gasps] 308 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,640 Ooh. [breathes deeply] 309 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,560 [♪ "The Look of Love" playing] 310 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,640 [Maud] Yes. Darling, go ahead. It's definitely time to eat. 311 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,280 Go on. 312 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,400 [chuckles] Rupert. 313 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,520 My God. If I knew you were wearing this, I would've come earlier. 314 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:53,520 [chuckles] Well, you're here now, and that's all that matters. 315 00:17:58,520 --> 00:17:59,800 Take this. 316 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,200 No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 317 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,120 No, I wouldn't if I were you. Do what you do best. 318 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,840 Dig up his skeletons, lure him onto your show, 319 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,920 humiliate him in front of millions. 320 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,120 [♪ opera music playing] 321 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,880 All right. That's Athens down. How we doing on the Paris feed? 322 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,080 Mm-hmm. Parfait, mademoiselle. Parfait. 323 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,440 Au revoir, 1986. 324 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,160 Bonjour, 1987. 325 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,080 Tea? Really, Deirdre? It's goddamn New Year's Eve. 326 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,480 I don't get New Year's. 327 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,400 It's like birthdays, just another year closer to death. 328 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,760 It's not really for us singletons, is it? 329 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,560 We've not got anything to celebrate. 330 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,320 [inhales heavily] No one's waiting to kiss us at midnight. 331 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,760 Well, the difference between you and I, Deirdre, 332 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,680 is that I don't wait around to be kissed by somebody. 333 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,880 If I wanna kiss someone, I do it. 334 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,480 [slurps] 335 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,560 [cheering] 336 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,600 So, is your sister ever gonna forgive me? 337 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,600 [Caitlin] Um, I doubt it. 338 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,400 Did she like the bracelet I got her? 339 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,320 Fuck. Sorry. 340 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,080 - We all thought it was from Ralphie. - Who's Ralphie? 341 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,040 - Him. - [laughs] 342 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,400 Taggie's mad about him, 343 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,040 but he turned up with his girlfriend and now she's broken-hearted. 344 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,520 You signed a "R", so we all just presumed it was R for Ralphie. 345 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,160 She can do better than that. 346 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,240 Do you ski, Rupert? 347 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,560 [Rupert] Yeah. Love it. 348 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,800 I bet you're terribly good at it. Isn't it all in the hips? 349 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,320 [Rupert, Maud laughing] 350 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,680 [Monica] Oh. I never see him. It's just work, work, work. 351 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,920 I mean, Tony's obsessed, of course. He can barely think of anything else. 352 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,160 Oh, don't worry about Rupert. 353 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,080 Bertie Berkshire once described him as a particularly nasty virus 354 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,040 that one's wife caught soon rather than later. 355 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,000 - Hmm. - Oh, Rupert can't resist the conquest. 356 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,640 While others adore the chase. A clever wife is easily bored. 357 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,600 The bracelet's from Rupert. 358 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,720 - [Taggie] What? - It's "R" for Rupert. 359 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,400 He feels bad for touching you up at the Jones's. 360 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,640 [Mrs Makepiece] Sounds right. 361 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,000 Too much money. Too little sense. 362 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,200 What are you gonna do, Tag? 363 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,600 [partygoers] ♪ …dear Patrick ♪ 364 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,960 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 365 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,320 [cheering] 366 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,880 [whistling] 367 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:57,040 [Declan] Today we celebrate my son, Patrick, 368 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,680 who was born New Year's Eve, 21 years ago. 369 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:08,320 My son makes me prouder than any father ever was. 370 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:17,560 Yeats wrote, "Life is a long preparation for something that never happens". 371 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,840 But when I look at my son… 372 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,520 I think Yeats was wrong. 373 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:30,600 My son was a brilliant boy who is now a brilliant man. 374 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,600 - He has happened. - [partygoers cheering] 375 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:38,120 So please raise your glasses for my clever boy, now a man. 376 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,240 - To Patrick. - [partygoers] To Patrick! 377 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,680 Patrick, the man. 378 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,160 - [Maud] Your turn, darling. - [grunts] Thank you, Dad. 379 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:51,240 Um, and thanks, Mom, for throwing another of your wonderful parties. 380 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,640 - [Declan, Maud chuckle] - Mmm. 381 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,040 Uh, but most of all, I'd-- I'd like to thank-- 382 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,600 [♪ opera music playing] 383 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,200 [partygoers murmur] 384 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:04,960 Holy shit. 385 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,440 Celestial light. 386 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,520 Ten… 387 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:21,920 [partygoers] Nine, eight, seven, six… 388 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,360 He's gone too early. It's n-- 389 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,960 [partygoers] …five, four, 390 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:31,240 three, two, one. 391 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,760 Happy New Year! 392 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,200 [cheering] 393 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,800 Happy New Year. 394 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,800 [cheering continues] 395 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,960 [♪ singing "Auld Lang Syne"] 396 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,680 Happy New Year, darling. 397 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,520 [partygoers continue singing] 398 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:29,840 You're very confident, aren't you? 399 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,000 Yeah. I am. 400 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,080 [partygoers sing in distance] 401 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,560 [breathes shakily] 402 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,400 - Thank you for coming. - Of course. [unzips pants] 403 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,080 I-- I-- I wanted to ask you something first. 404 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,080 [zipper closes] 405 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,280 [breathes deeply] 406 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,920 [both chuckle] 407 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,640 I-- I-- I-- I wondered whether I could give you this. 408 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,400 [stammers] That way we-- we wouldn't have to sneak about. 409 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,240 You could come and go as you pleased. 410 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,880 You could think of it as your home too if you like. 411 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,600 [breathing heavily] 412 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:16,320 [chuckles] Well, I'm terribly flattered, obviously, 413 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,920 but I-- I'm sorry, Charles. I presumed you'd understand. 414 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,360 If I want to do anything political, I need to find myself… 415 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,040 a wife. 416 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:33,920 Right. 417 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,160 Yes, of course. 418 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,680 How silly of me. [chuckles] 419 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,080 [sighing] Probably had a bit too much to drink. 420 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,360 - [chuckles] - Emotional evening. 421 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,320 - Uh… [inhales shakily] …silly. Sorry. - No, I'm s-sorry. 422 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:49,640 Don't be. [inhales sharply] 423 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,200 I'm fine. 424 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,320 Now, get back in there and find yourself Mrs Middleton. 425 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,800 Go on. Hurry up. 426 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,040 [chuckles] 427 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,960 [Charles breathes heavily, chuckles] 428 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:06,960 [breathes shakily] 429 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,200 [breathes shakily] 430 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,000 [crying] 431 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,280 [breathing deeply] 432 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,000 [sighs] 433 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,960 Can you please stop working? Come and dance. 434 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,080 [vomits] 435 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,160 [spits] 436 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,880 Sorry. [pants] 437 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,600 Massive queue for the loo. 438 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,280 [sighs] 439 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:55,640 That's better. 440 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,000 Are there any more chipolatas left? 441 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,720 [sighs] 442 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:03,680 Yeah. Come on then. 443 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:05,800 Great. 444 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,840 [♪ "The Lady In Red" playing] 445 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,560 I didn't realise this was from you. 446 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,000 I can't accept it. 447 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,640 It's an apology for the other day. 448 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,880 Fine. I'll accept the apology, just not the bracelet. 449 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,760 [inhales deeply] Fine. 450 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,320 You scare me a little. 451 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,000 How can I scare you? 452 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,600 I can see myself quite clearly reflected in your eyes, 453 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,120 and for once, I'm not sure I like what I see. 454 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,320 Anyone can change. 455 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:00,800 I might be an exception. 456 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,240 Sorry. I'm-- 457 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,640 I'm not very good at dancing. 458 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,000 You're doing fine. 459 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,840 Caitlin told me about the mix-up. 460 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,080 Um, I'm sorry. 461 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,640 I'll be sure to write my whole name the next time I send you a present. 462 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,120 [music continues] 463 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:20,880 [stammers] 464 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,880 [stammers] I need to finish the kedgeree. 465 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,040 Bye. 466 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:35,920 [Sarah] Hey. 467 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,760 You've been ignoring me all night. 468 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:40,960 Um… [clears throat] …no, I haven't. 469 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,440 Yes, you have, and you haven't called for ages. 470 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,880 I don't mind my husband being disappointing, 471 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,800 but I expect more from a lover. 472 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,320 I don't expect anything from you, Sarah, 473 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,000 and I'd hope the feeling was mutual. 474 00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:58,760 [breathes shakily] 475 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,040 You're looking stunning again this evening, Sarah. 476 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,680 [chuckles] 477 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,880 You ever considered a career in television? 478 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,320 You should. 479 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,600 The camera loved you on Behind Every Famous Man. 480 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,280 Oh. [chuckles] 481 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,800 [both chuckle] 482 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,320 [breathing heavily] 483 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,280 [slurps] 484 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,680 [inhales shakily] 485 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,400 [sighs] 486 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,600 [cheering] 487 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,760 [♪ "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" playing] 488 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,000 Tony's just asked me to screen test for him. 489 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:09,920 Oh, wow. 490 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,440 Do you think he's trying to get into my pants? 491 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,280 Maybe, but he's currently in Cameron's. She's his mistress. 492 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,400 But perhaps he's looking for a replacement. 493 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,240 - Who are you? - Archie. 494 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,200 - Who are you? - Caitlin. 495 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,640 - Where'd you go to school? - Upmount House. You? 496 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,000 Rugborough. 497 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,560 What do Upmount House girls and tampons have in common? 498 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,400 - I don't know. - They're both stuck-up cunts. 499 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:35,960 - [laughs] - [Archie chuckles] 500 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:38,640 I've got some Malibu upstairs. 501 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,320 Sit down, Fred-Fred. You're embarrassing yourself. 502 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:46,400 Ah, come here. 503 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,280 [sighs, clicks tongue] 504 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,240 Ugh. [breathes heavily] 505 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,560 [grunts] 506 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:53,640 [both chuckling] 507 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,040 [sighs] 508 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,120 [sighs] 509 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,320 - [♪ music playing] - [partygoers chattering] 510 00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:58,960 Yeah. 511 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,880 Any New Year's resolutions? 512 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:06,960 [Monica] Ah, I think I would probably wish for things to remain exactly as they are. 513 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,880 For no one to rock the boat, as it were. 514 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,520 [Rupert] I quite like my boat being rocked. 515 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:11,800 Rupert. 516 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,040 May I speak to you for a moment please, alone? 517 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:15,680 Of course. 518 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,240 That dress is really quite something. 519 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,640 [chuckles] Well, my dress thanks you. 520 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,560 You know, I've been noticing 521 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,360 that you've been a more frequent visitor here recently. 522 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,200 It's almost like there's something that you want. 523 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,280 Clever you. I don't think I realised myself before tonight. 524 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,880 Well, I'm more astute than your average bear. 525 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,840 And you don't think I'm being a dreadful cad? 526 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:52,440 Oh. Well, I mean, obviously you are, but we both know that. 527 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:55,840 I appear to be a little stuck. 528 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,760 [chuckles] That doesn't sound like you. 529 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,920 Seems a little pointless being shy, given all your experience. 530 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:10,960 There's something so different about Taggie. 531 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,560 T-- Taggie? 532 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,640 Taggie? My Taggie? 533 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,520 I'm sorry. I-- 534 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,440 Oh, my God. She's a bloody child, Rupert. 535 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,800 She's a dim-witted child who can't even read. Are you-- 536 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,880 Oh, I know. You're scared of women your own age, is that it? 537 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,320 How dare you? 538 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,680 [door opens, creaks] 539 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,200 [breathing shakily] 540 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:54,680 [sighs] 541 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,480 Keeping it in the family, eh, Rupert? 542 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:07,160 "To and fro we leap and chase the frothy bubbles, 543 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:11,480 while all the world is full of troubles and anxious in its sleep. 544 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:16,600 Come away, O human child, with a fairy, hand in hand, 545 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,600 for the world is more full of weeping than he can understand". 546 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,680 [breathes shakily] 547 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:29,760 "How many loved your moments of glad grace, 548 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:35,280 and loved your beauty with love false or true, 549 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:39,280 but one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, 550 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,480 and loved the sorrows of your changing face". 551 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,120 - [gasps, breathes shakily] - [Cameron] What's going on? 552 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:48,560 It's just another parental drama. 553 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,800 [Maud cries] 554 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,480 I'm sorry. 555 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,680 - [Declan] Come on. - [breathes shakily] 556 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:01,960 [sniffles] 557 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:03,520 [partygoers chattering] 558 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,360 Excuse us. Thank you. 559 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:11,160 Here, Tone. Any idea where our kids might be? 560 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:13,120 Been waiting for our coats for at least ten minutes. 561 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,360 I mean, I've got no idea where the help is… [stammers] …It's utter chaos. 562 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,280 [Tony] Taggie, where are the children? 563 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,280 Um… [stammers] …I think they're up in Caitlin's room. Second floor. 564 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,600 [Tony] Please retrieve our coats. Thank you, Taggie. 565 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,760 - [sighs] Excuse me. - [Tony] It's this way. 566 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:34,720 [Valerie speaks indistinctly] 567 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,320 [chuckling] 568 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,000 [panting] 569 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,040 [Valerie shrieks] 570 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,560 [panting] 571 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,640 How delightfully ambitious of you, little brother. 572 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:46,200 [pants] Thank you. I try. 573 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:47,840 Oh, God. Felicity. 574 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,280 I didn't see you down there. [chuckles] 575 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:51,560 [chuckling] 576 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,280 - [Basil moaning] - [Valerie] Fred-Fred. 577 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,400 [Monica] This is pathetic. 578 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,000 - [Valerie] Disgusting. - [Freddie] Kids! 579 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:13,600 [Charles cries] 580 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:16,080 [sighs] 581 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:18,560 Mr Fairburn? 582 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,600 - What's wrong? - [breathes shakily] I don't exist. 583 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,560 - Sorry? - [Charles sighs] 584 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,680 [Charles] My mother doesn't know who I am. 585 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,400 The only person who ever loved me… 586 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,360 and now she doesn't recognise me. 587 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,000 [cries] 588 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,640 And soon she'll be gone… 589 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:43,360 [sniffles, cries] …and I'll have no one. 590 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:50,200 Do you even really exist… [sniffles] …if no one sees you're there? 591 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,840 [sobbing] 592 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,200 Yes. [stammers] I think so. 593 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,920 I hope so. 594 00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,880 [sobs] 595 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,000 Oh, my God. 596 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,280 [groans, grunting] 597 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,040 Um. Uh, what can I do? 598 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,080 What can I-- Um… 599 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,320 - [grunting] Oh, my God. - [Taggie] Oh, my God. 600 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,200 [Tony] Archie. 601 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:22,960 Archie. 602 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,240 Oh, God. 603 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:27,840 Mum, I'm vibrating. 604 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,800 - Look. - [Freddie] Oh, yeah? [chuckles] 605 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:33,240 Don't be ridiculous, Wayne. Get out, we're going home. Now, Sharon. 606 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,880 [Freddie] Come on, baby. 607 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,920 - [Tony] Archie! - [Archie] Mmm. 608 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,280 [groans] 609 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,760 Best night I've had since being a deb. 610 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:46,880 - [tapping on window] - [chuckles] 611 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,760 [howling, screaming] 612 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:54,360 [exclaiming, chuckling] 613 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:55,920 [Tony grumbles] Come on. 614 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,680 Shelley Makepiece is a common slut. 615 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,480 And that O'Hara girl is a minx, and you are under no circumstances 616 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,800 allowed to fraternise with either one of them. 617 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,080 It's not a war, Dad. 618 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:06,160 Of course it is! 619 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,320 Everything's a war! 620 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,240 Oh. 621 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,240 [Tony] Maybe one of the London bohos have OD'd. 622 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,120 They've been doing cocaine in the loos all night. 623 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:15,240 Hmm. 624 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:20,080 [sniffles] Please don't tell anyone. 625 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,840 If Tony finds out, he'll sack me. 626 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:22,920 What are you doing? 627 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,560 Stop it, please! Can you-- 628 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,560 - Was it you that called the ambulance? - Yeah, he's got pain in his chest. 629 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:28,960 [sniffles] I'm just finding it 630 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,840 - a little bit difficult to breathe. - Stop it! 631 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:31,960 [paramedic] It's all right. 632 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,440 [Taggie] Call me whenever. I'm always here and happy to help. 633 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,840 - I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. - It's okay. 634 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,120 It's all right. Just put this over like this… 635 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,760 - [Charles sobbing, panting] - [paramedic] Nice, deep breath. 636 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,680 - It's all right. Calm down. - [sobbing continues] 637 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:45,480 [sighs] 638 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,360 - [paramedic 2] Tell me what happened. - [Charles sobs] 639 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,560 [sobbing, gasping] 640 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,360 [birds chirping] 641 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:57,080 [♪ "Avalon" playing] 642 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:04,360 [sighs] 643 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,040 [Rupert] There you are. What are you doing? 644 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,480 I'm just trying to find your knives and forks. We borrowed them for the party. 645 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,240 You have to stop. Not everything is your responsibility, Taggie. 646 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,800 No. No, there's just too much to do. I'm sorry. 647 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,680 It's just, Mummy spent way too much money on the party. 648 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,520 There's no one to pay the deejays, 649 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,400 someone's broken a window in the kitchen, 650 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,840 and there is vomit all over the yellow sofa. 651 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:39,840 And do you know what I just had to do? 652 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,080 I just had to put Charles in an ambulance 653 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,880 and some awful man took a photo as he was getting in. 654 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,920 [sighs] He just looks so alone. 655 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,400 I mean, are we all just alone? I mean, Ralphie doesn't love me. 656 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:52,960 What if no one ever loves me? 657 00:39:55,960 --> 00:40:01,080 Promise you that someone will love you. 658 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,200 [sighs] 659 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:05,440 [Rupert] Just-- 660 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,720 - You need to go to bed. [chuckles] - [laughs] 661 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,680 - To sleep. [chuckling] - [chuckles] 662 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,600 I'll deal with the deejays and, uh, the sofa, and the window. 663 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,200 [sighs] I'm sorry I was so beastly to you earlier. 664 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,480 You're not that bad, really. 665 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:39,720 Let me take those. 666 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:50,640 [growls, barks] 667 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,320 Well, you may have forgiven me, but Gertrude certainly hasn't. 668 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,480 [barks] 669 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,040 Are you trying to seduce me? 670 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,800 - Always. - Oh, good. 671 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:25,680 Lady in red. 672 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:46,840 [chuckles] 673 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,360 - [Taggie chuckles] - [birds chirping] 674 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,600 Thank you. For everything. 675 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,600 You're the one we should all be thanking. 676 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,840 Put on an incredible party. 677 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,640 No idea how you held it all together. 678 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,400 You are a remarkable person, Taggie. 679 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,640 - [sighs] - [Taggie breathing deeply] 680 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:35,960 [Rupert sighs] 681 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,120 [grunts] 682 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,240 [Cameron] Okay, who the hell has a camel on their birthday? 683 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,320 - [Patrick] Me and Jesus. A lot in common. - [Cameron laughing] 684 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,480 How come you're not with your folks for Christmas? 685 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,200 You know, past the age of 25, 686 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,880 we don't tend to talk about our parents all that much. 687 00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:02,280 I just want to know everything about you. 688 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:04,920 [chuckles] 689 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,760 Okay. 690 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,920 Well, my parents divorced when I was 14. 691 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,360 My dad is a teacher. 692 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:17,640 My mom's an activist. 693 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,400 She wanted to change the world, 694 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,040 but she didn't really want to have to change her schedule for her family. 695 00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:25,040 Anyway, she ended up meeting someone new 696 00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:26,800 who turned out to be an asshole, 697 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,360 and I had to grow up pretty fast. 698 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:31,440 Been on my own ever since. 699 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,880 What? So you-- you-- you make me talk about myself and now you're silent. 700 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,360 [chuckles] What, you just gonna go run off 701 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,520 and tell your dad about poor old Cameron now? 702 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:46,600 Don't be stupid. 703 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,480 I'm gonna look after you. 704 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,440 I'm gonna blot out all of the bad memories, 705 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,160 even if it takes a lifetime. 706 00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,640 [chuckles] It's a lifetime now, is it? 707 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:03,160 All right, camel boy, what's the plan? 708 00:44:03,240 --> 00:44:05,000 Just parties every year, 709 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,120 flirting with older women until you die of gout at 62? 710 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,240 I'm going to write an award-winning play 711 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,120 that changes the world and art as we know it. 712 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,120 Holy shit. The kid's ambitious. 713 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:17,720 All right. 714 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,800 Why not? 715 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:20,960 What, don't you think ambition is a good thing? 716 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:31,920 [Rupert] Hi. 717 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:38,240 You give me the roll of photographs you took at the ambulance, 718 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,640 and I'll pose drunk on those logs, okay? 719 00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:43,680 - Who's the guy? - Nobody. 720 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:47,160 You wouldn't get anything for them, but he's a friend, and I'd mind. 721 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,960 So, how drunk do you want me to be? 722 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,760 Very. Very would be good. 723 00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:53,560 Very it is. 724 00:44:58,800 --> 00:44:59,880 [Rupert groans] 725 00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:02,000 [chuckles] 726 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,840 It seems like you've had a happy New Year. 727 00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,240 Thanks, boss. Think I've got what I need. 728 00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:13,600 I'll be off home. 729 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,360 Great. Well, Happy New Year. 730 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:41,920 [Declan] Did he touch you? 731 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,000 You would have liked him to though, wouldn't you? 732 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,840 What do you want me to say, Declan? 733 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,400 You used to give me attention, and now you go to work. 734 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:09,240 You get to go and be the big man, and I'm just left here rotting. 735 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:16,440 [whimpering] I used to be fucking beautiful. 736 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,760 You still are. 737 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,280 How would you have liked him to touch you? 738 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,520 [breathing shakily] 739 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:47,080 And then what would he do? 740 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,480 [breathing heavily] 741 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,160 [gasps, sighs] 742 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,560 [moaning] 743 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,520 [breathing heavily, moaning] 744 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,800 So, do the English mash everything because they've got such terrible teeth, 745 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,760 or is this some weird, wanting-to-be-a-baby bullshit? 746 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,160 Kedgeree's just another thing they stole during the empire. 747 00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:30,840 Oh, okay. Fun. 748 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:36,280 - All right. Well, I should go. - No, no, no, don't go. 749 00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,600 I have to go back to university later today, 750 00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,320 and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. 751 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,400 Yeah. Well, I have to. I have work. 752 00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,600 [sighs] Okay. 753 00:47:48,720 --> 00:47:49,720 I'll run you home. 754 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,400 One, I have my own car because I'm a grown-up. 755 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,600 And two, my home is paid for by my boss 756 00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,360 who I also happen to be sleeping with. 757 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,480 So I don't think he'd much like you dropping me home, 758 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:02,720 - but thank you. - [chuckles] 759 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:04,800 You're sleeping with Tony Baddingham? 760 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,160 He's so old. You can do so much better. 761 00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:09,360 Yeah, I don't remember asking for your advice. 762 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:13,480 Tony is smart, powerful, and he built a company from the ground up. 763 00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:16,560 - [stammers] - So when you do that, give me a call. 764 00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,120 Ciao. 765 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:26,640 Ciao. 766 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:32,960 [Rupert] Happy New Year, Rocky. 767 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,160 I have something for you. 768 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:47,480 [chuckles] 769 00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:50,480 [sighs] 770 00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:56,640 [blusters] 771 00:48:57,240 --> 00:48:58,440 Here you go. 772 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,280 [yawns] 773 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:23,520 [Tony] Fun night? 774 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:25,680 [gasps] Shit. 775 00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,120 I've been looking at your contract. 776 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,360 You want to leave now or work your six-week notice? 777 00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,320 What? Why? 778 00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:37,640 You cannot fire me. 779 00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:40,280 I'm the best person you've got and I've done nothing wrong. 780 00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:44,000 - I told you not to go to that party. - It was New Year's Eve, Tony. 781 00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,440 I wanted to go out, and you don't get 782 00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:50,040 - to control every single thing I do. - This is my life, Cameron, 783 00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,240 you do not get to fuck with it. 784 00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,640 I'm not in the business of hiring whores! 785 00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:58,920 Hmm. So, you're allowed to flirt with Sarah Stratton, and fuck your wife, 786 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,880 but I can't go to a party or so much as look at another man? 787 00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,720 - Oh, you're jealous? - Fuck off, Tony. 788 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,200 - Did you sleep with him? - No. 789 00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,480 - So why are you wearing his clothes? - We went for a walk and I got cold. 790 00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,200 Tell me the truth. Did you have sex with that boy? 791 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,720 No. Nothing happened. 792 00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,720 You promise me you will never see him again. 793 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,080 [stammers] I promise. 794 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:30,320 I can't, Tony. I-- No, I can't. 795 00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:31,760 - You can. - I'm tired. 796 00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:36,000 You can if you want to be promoted to Controller of Programmes. 797 00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,360 Then you better fuck me as hard as you can. 798 00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:46,040 [breathing heavily] 799 00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:50,520 - Thanks for the washing, Tag. - You're welcome. 800 00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:55,840 I'm sorry you didn't find anyone last night. 801 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:57,880 Actually did end up meeting someone rather interesting. 802 00:50:58,520 --> 00:50:59,840 - Who? - I knew you would. 803 00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:03,120 I saw Cameron leaving this morning. Any celestial light? 804 00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:04,600 She's overflowing with it. 805 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,920 You can't fall in love with her. Daddy says she's a monster. 806 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,360 I think Patrick should fall in love with whoever he wants. 807 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,560 Daddy's not always right. 808 00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,360 I wholeheartedly agree. 809 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,280 Who is it? 810 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,400 - Oh, my God. Tell me. - [chucking] Stop. 811 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:26,880 Did you snog somebody? 812 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,040 No, not yet.