1 00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,916 (本故事纯属虚构) 2 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,500 (如有雷同 纯属巧合) 3 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,666 等等 什么叫你把尸体弄丢了? 4 00:00:39,416 --> 00:00:46,416 《文斯小子》 5 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,250 不 我什么都没弄丢 6 00:00:57,333 --> 00:00:59,625 那个笨蛋殡葬师送错了 7 00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:02,625 没错 我联络他了!我还留了言 8 00:01:03,375 --> 00:01:05,250 你妹妹想赖到我头上 9 00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:10,083 她肯定没有恶意的 妈妈 10 00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:15,416 我生她难受了14个小时 她从那个时候就开始害我了 11 00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:19,166 把他弄走 12 00:01:19,666 --> 00:01:24,083 就是啊 而且想想过去这几天 我们的关系有了这么大改善 13 00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:26,458 你别太往心里去就是了 14 00:01:27,041 --> 00:01:30,000 你想说什么?怎么 你要向着她? 15 00:01:30,083 --> 00:01:31,666 我谁也不向着 16 00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:33,750 现在不是窝里斗的时候 知道吗? 17 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:36,208 尤其是在这么喜庆的日子里 18 00:01:36,291 --> 00:01:39,166 你觉得我兄弟死了是喜庆事儿? 19 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,458 我没说詹姆斯叔叔死了是喜庆事儿 20 00:01:41,541 --> 00:01:43,125 我是说在宗教意义上 21 00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:46,083 文森特 你那边怎么回事? 22 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,916 刚才是不是有枪声? 23 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,375 兰开斯特? 老天 那可是两小时的路程啊! 24 00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:55,250 我参加葬礼会迟一小会儿 25 00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:57,250 去他娘的 你最好给我马上出现 26 00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:01,875 你就跟葬礼负责人商量一下 好吗?稍等 27 00:02:01,958 --> 00:02:02,791 (布瑞) 28 00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:03,958 喂? 29 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,375 你妈到底哪根筋不对? 30 00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:14,958 她先是把詹姆斯叔叔给搞丢了 31 00:02:15,458 --> 00:02:19,125 然后她又拒绝承担任何责任 32 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:23,041 但这也不出奇 因为她向来都拒绝承担责任 33 00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:24,041 这个女人很邪恶 34 00:02:25,791 --> 00:02:27,083 你在哪里? 35 00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:37,458 在路上?葬礼30分钟后就开始了 36 00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:38,916 我看够呛 37 00:02:39,416 --> 00:02:41,333 没有尸体就不能办葬礼 38 00:02:41,416 --> 00:02:44,416 嗯嗯 笑不活了 拜托你赶紧过来好吗? 39 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:47,125 你不在 我们什么都做不了 而你只知道在外面闲逛 40 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,625 天知道你在干吗 41 00:02:51,791 --> 00:02:53,958 喂?你在听我说话吗? 42 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,708 听着 我再也不给你们当和事佬了 43 00:02:56,791 --> 00:03:02,083 我们是一家人 我们彼此相爱 你们两个都要表现出那种样子 44 00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:05,875 知道吗?你说得对 兄弟 45 00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:09,625 我没有想到你承担的责任 46 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,083 你一定压力很大 47 00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:16,041 先是交换会的事 然后是詹姆斯叔叔 48 00:03:16,541 --> 00:03:19,541 我都没想到要问问你的感受 49 00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:20,583 你还好吗? 50 00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:25,291 喂? 51 00:03:25,375 --> 00:03:28,083 -听着 我只是说… -别这样 兄弟 52 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,458 她是个疯子 53 00:03:29,541 --> 00:03:33,000 让开 韦恩 我要砍了这个笨蛋 54 00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:35,666 这里有监控 安妮塔 冷静 55 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,166 -妈妈! -干吗 文森特? 56 00:03:37,666 --> 00:03:38,791 你为什么大喊大叫? 57 00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:41,416 我大喊大叫是因为 我要弄死这个王八蛋 58 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,625 -抱歉… -少跟我来这套 59 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:44,666 上手帮忙 60 00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:46,958 给你老板打电话 61 00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:49,916 告诉他你需要两副棺材 62 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,833 因为你也要入土了 63 00:03:51,916 --> 00:03:54,125 妈妈 做你的呼吸练习 64 00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:05,916 我们在寻求什么? 65 00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:08,458 内心的安宁 66 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:12,291 在哪里寻求? 67 00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:15,041 内心的欢乐乡 68 00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:19,791 你找到了吗? 69 00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:23,000 别逼我 臭小子 不然你也得进棺材 70 00:04:27,916 --> 00:04:31,208 我知道你正在尽力 71 00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:35,125 但我订的是白鸽套餐 72 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,041 我… 73 00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:37,000 白 74 00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:39,750 鸽 75 00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:43,708 上面写了 76 00:04:44,291 --> 00:04:46,166 白鸽套餐 77 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,916 使用珍珠棺 78 00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:52,250 包含放飞鸽子的仪式 并且使用无人机拍摄视频 79 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,750 死者身着史蒂夫·哈维白色西装 80 00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:57,583 女士 我很熟悉套餐所含内容… 81 00:04:57,666 --> 00:04:59,125 既然如此… 82 00:05:01,416 --> 00:05:04,750 你知道我兄弟在哪里吗? 83 00:05:07,458 --> 00:05:08,333 不知道 84 00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:13,291 我来问你一个问题 先生 85 00:05:14,958 --> 00:05:16,833 你喜欢活着吗? 86 00:05:17,791 --> 00:05:22,083 我给我老板打电话…马上打 嗯 87 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:25,583 那边有停车位吗? 88 00:05:25,666 --> 00:05:27,083 滚蛋 文森特 89 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,916 (上帝的国度) 90 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,708 这是做什么? 91 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,125 我是美国人 92 00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:04,791 这是肯定的 93 00:06:06,458 --> 00:06:08,666 要用登记的信用卡付账吗? 94 00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:35,125 他不在里面 95 00:06:35,208 --> 00:06:36,500 一定在 96 00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:43,291 等一下 你的意思是说 我们认不出自己的兄弟? 97 00:06:43,791 --> 00:06:46,208 你们家里关系如何我不好多说 98 00:06:46,291 --> 00:06:48,833 但车里的东西我有发言权 99 00:06:48,916 --> 00:06:50,541 因为是我装的车 100 00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:54,500 车上装着过去一周半内 去世的所有叫詹姆斯的人 101 00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:57,083 詹姆斯是他的中间名! 102 00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:03,583 那就是另一辆货车 103 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,125 我受不了了 104 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,666 你也好不到哪里去 105 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:48,833 等等 106 00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:51,541 我真是受够你了 107 00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:01,333 上帝保佑他灵魂安息 108 00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:18,208 -你见你哥哥了吗? -没有 他说他还在路上 109 00:09:18,708 --> 00:09:22,250 -你跟麦克叔叔谈过了吗? -麦克 你和文森特联系了吗? 110 00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:26,000 没有 你知道的 自从他接了那部Netflix电视特辑 111 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:28,250 他就一直在装逼 112 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:30,833 这是两码事 113 00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:32,291 你明知道他遇上事儿了 114 00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:36,083 我知道他遇上事儿了 之后他还会遇上更多事儿 115 00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:37,541 要知道 116 00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:41,916 黑鬼后生拒绝回馈社群 就会落得这种下场 117 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,791 他们开始搞白人妞儿 118 00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:47,333 搞类似的勾当 119 00:09:47,416 --> 00:09:50,000 说我儿子你可小心点 120 00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:53,416 (枪火之下) 121 00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:06,750 (迷失灵魂殡仪馆) 122 00:10:30,708 --> 00:10:32,708 这场葬礼要持续多久? 123 00:10:32,791 --> 00:10:36,041 我不知道 再开下去 就把我也送走了 124 00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:37,916 我们在这里已经待了将近两个小时 125 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,416 我跟牧师说了 结束要准时 应该就快完事了 126 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:45,416 应该还剩两首歌 然后是见证词 然后是唱诗 127 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,916 差不多一个多小时 128 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,208 然后你哥哥致悼词 129 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,333 他给你回过电话吗? 130 00:10:52,416 --> 00:10:56,000 好像没有 我看看 131 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,333 你干得真漂亮 亲爱的 让他们见识一下你旋转 宝贝 132 00:11:17,791 --> 00:11:19,916 搞什…喂? 133 00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:26,333 你在哪里?我找到你叔叔了 134 00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:29,625 我还得耐着性子看詹妮 在主的殿堂里扭屁股 135 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,291 不 136 00:11:35,791 --> 00:11:37,958 -不 没关系 -不 137 00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,958 你没事 我们没事 138 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:42,291 天啊 139 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:07,875 喂 妈妈 140 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,541 我还在路上 141 00:12:13,958 --> 00:12:15,416 我出了点车祸 142 00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:22,500 对 143 00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:25,500 衡量生命的标准不在于它的长短 144 00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:27,375 而在于其奉献 145 00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:31,541 想到詹姆斯的奉献与贡献 146 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,291 有很多东西值得我们感恩 147 00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:35,333 话虽如此 148 00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:39,916 教堂的现金应用程式就印在讣告背面 149 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,791 我们接受上帝赐予大家的任何礼物 150 00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:44,375 我能听大家说阿门吗? 151 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,083 你杀过人吗? 152 00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:04,375 你坠入过爱河吗? 153 00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:11,708 是啊 154 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,708 很疯狂吧? 155 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,500 你不会碰巧有支枪吧? 156 00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:05,708 (悼词) 157 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:45,041 黑鬼 你遇上啥事儿了? 158 00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:46,666 我被绑架了 159 00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:48,583 绑架? 160 00:14:48,666 --> 00:14:51,125 你是个大男人 161 00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:54,250 振作一点 你瞅着跟象人似的 162 00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:55,791 牙买加人? 163 00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:56,916 不 是受害者 164 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,333 或许你要是牙买加人 就不会挨揍了 165 00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:04,291 小子 赶紧拿这支除渍笔弄干净点 166 00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:06,833 你可别上去给我丢脸 167 00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:12,000 -没那么严重吧? -有 168 00:15:12,083 --> 00:15:13,541 只是皮外伤而已 169 00:15:14,208 --> 00:15:16,166 -我迟到了吗? -你来得正是时候 170 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:20,583 现在请逝者的侄子 文森特·斯塔普利斯致悼词 171 00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:22,458 去吧 172 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,041 -你很帅 -谢谢 173 00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:52,958 谢谢 174 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:03,666 我没做过这种事 所以…请大家包涵 175 00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:11,541 大家都知道 我叔叔詹姆斯 他对我来说就像父亲一样 176 00:16:12,125 --> 00:16:14,083 他教了我很多东西 177 00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:15,625 打橄榄球 178 00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:17,625 开车 179 00:16:17,708 --> 00:16:19,625 还有…取证 180 00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:24,958 但随着时间的推移 他还教会了我…不去做一些事 181 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:29,166 众所周知 他并不完美 182 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:32,708 他有缺点 不过…有谁又是完美的呢? 183 00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,875 尽管他经历了很多事 他毕竟是我们的家人 184 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:43,166 从小 大人就教导我 家人就是担起责任 185 00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,333 在他人退缩时挺身而出 186 00:16:48,291 --> 00:16:49,375 麦克叔叔 187 00:16:51,291 --> 00:16:52,625 别再找我要钱了 188 00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:56,416 从小到大 你都做了15回生意了 189 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,458 结果啥钱都没赚到 190 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,166 搞冰淇淋车都折本 191 00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:04,833 詹妮阿姨 192 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,458 别在Facebook上对我妈说长道短了 193 00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:10,666 我知道你们以前老是打架 194 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:12,541 好吗? 195 00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:15,166 但现在都过去了 196 00:17:15,791 --> 00:17:16,791 放手吧 197 00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:18,958 还有你 韦恩叔叔 198 00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:21,833 我们是一家人 我爱你 199 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,291 但事关我的婚姻 200 00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:25,958 好吗? 201 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,041 少他妈管我的私事 202 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,250 我可不想找人崩了你 203 00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:37,458 布瑞 204 00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:40,750 我爱你 妹妹 205 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,083 我就知道 206 00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:46,958 还有 妈妈… 207 00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:52,041 如你所知 我经历了一些事情 208 00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,333 而你一直都陪着我 209 00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,458 说一些很不顺耳的话 210 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:03,250 但你说得对 你总是对的 211 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,583 但你从来都不会不耐烦 212 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:07,416 你总是善解人意 213 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:11,791 你对我包容… 就如你对詹姆斯叔叔那样 214 00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:14,708 为此 我感谢你 215 00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:20,916 詹姆斯叔叔… 216 00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:25,500 感谢这样的你 217 00:18:26,958 --> 00:18:28,708 你让我明白我不想成为什么样的人 218 00:18:30,791 --> 00:18:31,916 此致 219 00:18:32,916 --> 00:18:34,041 敬礼 220 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,833 《文斯小子》 221 00:18:39,916 --> 00:18:43,333 (詹姆斯叔叔去世了) 222 00:18:43,416 --> 00:18:46,208 黑莓糖浆 223 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:51,250 永远不会改变的事物 224 00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:54,416 你要不断努力 225 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,125 阳光不会永远灿烂 226 00:18:57,208 --> 00:19:02,333 伤心与痛苦一定会有 227 00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:07,333 周日一早醒来 228 00:19:07,416 --> 00:19:13,041 今天有些坏消息 229 00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:18,291 他们说我的人生不值得 230 00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:24,166 时间慢慢流逝 231 00:19:24,666 --> 00:19:28,166 别以为我疯了 232 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:33,333 因为我脑海中思绪不断 233 00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:38,458 我知道我要坚强 234 00:19:38,541 --> 00:19:41,583 有时候我宁愿放弃… 235 00:19:41,666 --> 00:19:44,375 你们觉得詹姆斯叔叔 对他的葬礼满意吗? 236 00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:47,250 那么多白人女来悼念他 237 00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:50,750 他肯定身在天堂 我是说 打个比方 238 00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:55,166 我爱我的兄弟 不过…是吧?你们懂的 239 00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:57,291 你要不断努力 240 00:19:57,375 --> 00:19:58,541 嗯 我们懂 241 00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:00,416 阳光不会永远灿烂… 242 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:04,416 -我会想他的 -嗯 我也是 儿子 243 00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,416 接下来呢? 244 00:20:10,666 --> 00:20:15,416 我们经历了那么多风雨 245 00:21:09,625 --> 00:21:14,041 字幕翻译:Ellen L