1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:02,769 [audience cheering] 2 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:05,071 [grunts] 3 00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,339 I'll be cheering for you, Quail. 4 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,007 -Thanks, Sheila. -He knows my name. 5 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,309 Make us proud, Quail. 6 00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,610 I'll try my best, Principal Gunther. 7 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:11,878 He knows my name. 8 00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:14,347 ANNOUNCER: This is for the championship. 9 00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:19,686 Yes, he's got it. He's jumped the highest jump of all. 10 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,721 [cheering, applause] 11 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,759 I won, Dad. Coach said 12 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,894 I might be the highest jumper in the state. 13 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,229 HAWK: Mm-hmm. 14 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,500 I'm also the star quarterback of the football team. 15 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:36,202 But that's a fall sport, and it's spring right now. 16 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,405 -Mm. -I'm also the valedictorian 17 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,241 -with a full ride to college? -[grunts] 18 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,343 Dad, aren't you proud of me? 19 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,145 [can clatters] 20 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:49,048 You'll never own... 21 00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:51,751 ...a museum. 22 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:55,054 [groans] 23 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:08,735 Big day today, Mr. Eegan. 24 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,637 Are you excited for your grand opening? 25 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,539 Shut the fuck up. 26 00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,781 Now that it's been a few days, I just want to say 27 00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,583 I'm so glad that I finally told you guys 28 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,418 I've been keeping Bella's frozen corpse in my chamber. 29 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,821 I still can't believe Saltine freaked out and quit. 30 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,256 I mean, it's just my late wife's dead body. 31 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,691 That's not so weird, is it? 32 00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,393 -[groans] -Well, I mean, you know... 33 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,028 Wait a minute, What's with the hemming? 34 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,796 To say nothing of the hawing. 35 00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:37,831 It is weird, Rip. 36 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:40,300 But everybody's a little weird. 37 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,769 For example, for a brief period in the 1990s, 38 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:46,105 I used to eat my pizza crust first. 39 00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:47,774 Ew! 40 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,442 Um, okay, so we're even. 41 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,444 How did you manage to pull this off? 42 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,379 A fine question, for 'tis a tale 43 00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:55,448 most worthy of telling indeed. 44 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,051 It all began 12 years ago on the Zientek glacier. 45 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,253 This cave bird doesn't look like she's aged a day. 46 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:02,989 That's because the glacier's ice contains special mineral 47 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,124 properties that preserve bodies for eternity. 48 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:07,927 But once a body is removed, it's only a matter of minutes 49 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,696 -before it crumbles to dust. -That was the museum. 50 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,632 We got to head to Mondonesia to find the molten idol. 51 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,401 And we all know how that turned out. 52 00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:18,671 I will not let you die! 53 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,673 Oh, God, her heart stopped beating. 54 00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:23,743 That's the type of day I'm having. 55 00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,845 [grunting] 56 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,580 [panting] 57 00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,016 [grunting] 58 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,217 [crying] 59 00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:35,321 [grunting] 60 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,457 [cries, grunts] 61 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:43,062 And I've been looking for the Holy Grail ever since. 62 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:45,732 While the glacier ice has kept her perfectly preserved. 63 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,000 Wow. Great story. 64 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,068 And you're not worried that the ice is melting? 65 00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:50,436 What? Aw! 66 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:51,604 Oh, no, no, no, no! 67 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,273 Oh, so it's not supposed to be. 68 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,374 Okay, nobody panic. 69 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,075 To the microfiche. 70 00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:58,545 Okay, okay, okay, okay. 71 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,813 Oh, crap. It says here that the Zientek ice's 72 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:02,749 unique chemical composition is breaking down 73 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,384 and there's nothing we can do. 74 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,319 And at the rate Bella's block is melting... 75 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,521 We have less than a day before it's gone. 76 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,323 Good thing I know where the Grail is now. 77 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,791 At Quail's new museum. 78 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,093 I'll just go steal it from him, as is my wont. 79 00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:15,628 -I'm in. -I'm in, too. 80 00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:18,064 But it won't be easy. Today 81 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:19,599 is Quail's museum opening. 82 00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,301 RIP: Oh, I didn't even know we had a TV down here. 83 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:24,304 Welcome back to the Eegan Museum's opening ceremony. 84 00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,239 It's a day of nonstop excitement, 85 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,142 all leading up to the grand opening tonight at 7:00 p.m. 86 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,778 But before that happens, Zane Troy will debut his new single 87 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,781 and become the latest celebrity to also launch a music career. 88 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,584 Following in the footsteps of Florence Foster Jenkins. 89 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,886 That place is crawling with security. 90 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,322 In that case, I won't bring the Grail to Bella. 91 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,990 I'll bring Bella to the Grail. 92 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,025 It's just too bad Saltine isn't here to help. 93 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,628 I'm actually glad she's gone 'cause she was so annoying. 94 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,496 She was always pushing my butt in. 95 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,765 I think you mean "pushing my buttons"? 96 00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,434 What? No, that's not a phrase. 97 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,002 She was pushing my butt in. 98 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,904 You know, getting under my skin, rubbing me the wrong way, 99 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,372 bursting my butthole. 100 00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:00,740 You mean "bursting your bubble"? 101 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,675 No, I don't mean bursting my bubble, goddamn it! 102 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,978 What don't you understand here, you stubborn old mule? 103 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,880 -Hey, watch it, buster. -Agatha, walk with me. 104 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,551 My main man Rip has something called "idiom blindness." 105 00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:14,187 It's very rare, but it's real, and he's got it. 106 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,522 So if you're really his friend, you'll just ignore it 107 00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:17,991 and pretend he said the right thing. 108 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,859 -That's insane. -But you got to think about it 109 00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:22,295 from his perspective. He's living in hell. 110 00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,130 Idioms are flying this way and that, 111 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,532 and poor Rippy thinks they're all about his butt. 112 00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:28,901 [sighs] Fine. 113 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,571 Sorry about that, Rip. 114 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:34,941 Apology graciously accepted... by me. 115 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,176 Anyway, Saltine sucks, and we all agree. 116 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:40,713 Nevertheless, I wonder what she's up to right now. 117 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,583 -Here's your itinerary, boss. -Oh, thanks, Saltine. 118 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,085 -You are an amazing assistant. -Thank you, sir. 119 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,987 You know, I had my reservations about working for you, 120 00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:49,589 but then I realized I needed a job 121 00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:50,990 if I didn't want to starve to death. 122 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,826 Oh, that's so kind of you to say, Saltine. 123 00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:55,862 It's not too early for champagne, is it? 124 00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,863 [grunts] 125 00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,499 -Uh... -What? I drink. 126 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,467 I smoke. You got a problem with that? 127 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,903 Take it up with I don't give a rat's ass! 128 00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:05,738 [laughs]: Oh, my darling wife. 129 00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,674 It's so wonderful to see you, baby. 130 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,375 It's even more wonderful to be me. 131 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:10,843 [moaning] 132 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,347 I love being a wife guy. 133 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,182 I know. You're such a wife guy. 134 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,617 [whoops] 135 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,619 Can I be honest? I'm surprised 136 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,020 the two of you are still together. 137 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,689 I thought you were only marrying her for the Grail. 138 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,357 Oh, at first so did I, but she showed me things 139 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,459 in the bedroom that have made me question the fabric 140 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:28,795 -of my reality in a good way. -[groans] 141 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,863 -Hey, boss. -Trisket, just in time. 142 00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:33,399 Listen, I need the two of you to keep watch over the Holy Grail 143 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,867 until its big unveiling tonight. 144 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:37,470 It's a massive responsibility, but I trust you. 145 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:40,039 And thy trust shall be rewarded, good sir. 146 00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,374 Great, uh, 147 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,009 -but-but don't say that, yeah? -You got it. 148 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,844 AGATHA: I tracked down the blueprints for the Eegan, 149 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,613 thanks to my shadowy network of lowlives and scoundrels. 150 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:49,482 Don't even ask what I had to do. 151 00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:50,983 I wasn't going to. 152 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,019 Asking questions is a sign of weakness in a man. 153 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,854 Agreed. We'll put Bella in a crate, 154 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,223 and you'll sneak her in by posing as a delivery man. 155 00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,558 Swooper will be your driver. 156 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,193 Ever driven a delivery truck? 157 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,762 Come on, Rip, you know I can drive, sail or fly anything. 158 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,697 Except a pogo stick. 159 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,532 So don't even think about making me use a pogo. 160 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,801 -I hate that! -That's fine, Swooper. 161 00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,803 I'm not going to ask you to use a pogo stick. 162 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:12,805 Good. And don't ask me why I feel this way. 163 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,575 [crying]: The memory is too painful! 164 00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:19,212 This is so cool that we get to work together. 165 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,080 And we get to guard the Grail? 166 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,751 If anyone tries to take it, I'm gonna be like, "Gadoosh!" 167 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,353 Yeah. And then I'll be like, "Kadorf." 168 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:28,454 Whoa. Really? 169 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,656 Yeah. Did I mention I'm crazy? 170 00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,225 Well, I'm gonna hit the can. 171 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,626 Okay. 172 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:36,729 MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Bitch. 173 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,665 What? Who said that? 174 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:42,068 -Fat bitch. -[gasps] Wait. 175 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,004 The Holy Grail shouldn't call people bitches. 176 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,706 [screams] 177 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,743 [heads screech] 178 00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,412 -[screeches] -[screams] 179 00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,384 [screaming] 180 00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,953 [gasps] Oh, my God! What were those hellish visions? 181 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,122 -[screams] -You all right, Saltine? 182 00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,791 Um... 183 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,959 yeah, I just forgot I have an appointment 184 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,662 with, uh, my plastic surgeon. 185 00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,798 I'm getting my butt... 186 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,432 crack... 187 00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:15,134 lengthened. 188 00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:17,870 Okay. 189 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,939 All right, Swooper, if I'm not back by 8:00 p.m., 190 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,175 -you know what to do. -Yep. Freak out and go nuts. 191 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,943 Just totally wigging out and attacking people 192 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,845 -and screaming your name. -Exactly. 193 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,080 No, wait. It means I'm in trouble and you need to help me. 194 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,682 Got my papers right here 195 00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:32,251 from the Totally Legit Delivery Company. 196 00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:35,021 -Sounds totally legit. -What the...? 197 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,689 I don't remember ordering anything 198 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,291 from Totally Legit Delivery. 199 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,525 Freeze it. 200 00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:42,228 Zoom in... closer. 201 00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,663 Closer. 202 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,232 I'd recognize that pore anywhere. 203 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:47,934 That's Rip Digman. 204 00:07:50,528 --> 00:07:51,796 -Why would Rip Digman be here? -There can only be one reason. 205 00:07:51,796 --> 00:07:53,731 He thinks he co-wrote my new song. 206 00:07:53,731 --> 00:07:55,500 But it was an interpolation! 207 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:57,535 Zaney! 208 00:07:57,535 --> 00:07:58,970 Oh, it's you. 209 00:07:58,970 --> 00:08:00,839 -I need to ask you something. -Let me guess. 210 00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:02,474 Where do babies come from? 211 00:08:02,474 --> 00:08:04,108 Look, I don't know, okay? 212 00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,577 No, it's about the Grail. 213 00:08:05,577 --> 00:08:07,178 I know the Grail came from Puffland, 214 00:08:07,178 --> 00:08:09,814 -so I thought maybe you... -You don't know anything! 215 00:08:09,814 --> 00:08:11,916 I think you've had too much champagne. 216 00:08:11,916 --> 00:08:13,852 More like nine much champagne. 217 00:08:13,852 --> 00:08:17,088 [sighs] Give me a light, would you? 218 00:08:17,088 --> 00:08:18,656 Let me guess. 219 00:08:18,656 --> 00:08:20,325 It called you a bitch. 220 00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,327 Yes, and I'm not a bitch. 221 00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,095 Unless I haven't had my java. 222 00:08:24,095 --> 00:08:26,631 Did it also show you hellish visions, including a pig nun? 223 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,733 Pig nun, yes! Why's it doing that? 224 00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:30,068 I wish I knew. 225 00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,936 There were some in Puffland who hated 226 00:08:31,936 --> 00:08:33,538 the Grail, wanted it gone. 227 00:08:33,538 --> 00:08:35,740 They said a man named the Antiquarian 228 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,342 told them the truth about it, 229 00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:38,776 but that's all I know. 230 00:08:38,776 --> 00:08:40,712 Wow. That's actually quite a bit. 231 00:08:40,712 --> 00:08:42,213 So who is the Antiquarian? 232 00:08:42,213 --> 00:08:44,315 Ugh, what is with all the questions? I feel like 233 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,618 I'm on an episode of the hit game show Jeopardy! 234 00:08:46,618 --> 00:08:48,219 Look, my life is perfect now with Zane. 235 00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:49,821 Don't ruin it by looking into the Grail. 236 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,623 I'm sorry. I just want to know what-- aah! 237 00:08:51,623 --> 00:08:53,358 Quit making me feel like I'm on an episode 238 00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:54,893 of the hit game show Jeopardy! 239 00:08:54,893 --> 00:08:56,394 -And get out of here! -[screams] 240 00:08:56,394 --> 00:08:58,830 Okay, Swooper, I'm entering the Hall of Weapons. 241 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,199 Looks like the walls are quadruple-plated steel. 242 00:09:01,199 --> 00:09:03,101 -So our signal might... -[static crackling] 243 00:09:03,101 --> 00:09:05,703 What's that, Rippy? You're breaking up. Rip! 244 00:09:05,703 --> 00:09:07,338 Swooper. Hello? 245 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,874 ZANE: Rip Digman. 246 00:09:09,874 --> 00:09:12,377 I always knew this day would come. 247 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,579 Tuesday, June 20th. How? 248 00:09:14,579 --> 00:09:16,481 Not the date. I'm talking about... 249 00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:18,416 our final showdown. 250 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,718 Now... choose your weapon. 251 00:09:20,718 --> 00:09:23,555 -[squeaks] -Very well. [grunts] 252 00:09:24,255 --> 00:09:25,089 What the...? 253 00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:26,257 Oh, shit. 254 00:09:26,257 --> 00:09:27,325 Uh, no matter. 255 00:09:27,325 --> 00:09:29,494 I shall still but defeat you. 256 00:09:29,494 --> 00:09:30,795 Prepare to meet... 257 00:09:30,795 --> 00:09:33,498 your physical equal! 258 00:09:33,498 --> 00:09:36,200 [both shouting] 259 00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:39,304 Too bad the signal gave out. 260 00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:43,207 But knowing Rip, he's doing just fine. 261 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,843 [both grunting] 262 00:09:49,581 --> 00:09:51,749 I know why you're here, Rip. 263 00:09:51,749 --> 00:09:53,151 -You do? [grunts] -Yes. 264 00:09:53,151 --> 00:09:54,986 You think you co-wrote my song, 265 00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:57,055 so you're here to ruin my performance. 266 00:09:57,055 --> 00:10:00,058 Oh, thank God. Yes, that's exactly it. 267 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,759 I knew it. 268 00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:03,928 That's always been your problem. 269 00:10:03,928 --> 00:10:05,763 You've never wanted to share the spotlight 270 00:10:05,763 --> 00:10:07,398 because you knew I was better. 271 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,367 That's why you held me back all those years. 272 00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,803 -[grunts] -[shouting] 273 00:10:13,271 --> 00:10:15,373 I never held you back. 274 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:16,841 I was only so tough on you 275 00:10:16,841 --> 00:10:18,109 because I wanted you to be the best. 276 00:10:18,109 --> 00:10:19,777 Like the teacher in that Paul Reiser movie 277 00:10:19,777 --> 00:10:20,778 Whiplash. 278 00:10:20,778 --> 00:10:23,181 [both grunting] 279 00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:25,683 Well, then you betrayed me like Paul Reiser in Alien. 280 00:10:25,683 --> 00:10:28,353 And now I'm mad about you! 281 00:10:28,353 --> 00:10:29,988 That is horrid grammar. 282 00:10:29,988 --> 00:10:33,024 -[grunts] -Ow. [whimpers] 283 00:10:38,129 --> 00:10:40,331 If you're such a great mentor, Rip, 284 00:10:40,331 --> 00:10:43,134 then why do your assistants keep quitting? 285 00:10:43,134 --> 00:10:46,204 You know, when Saltine came to me begging for a job, 286 00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:49,674 I hired her because I knew we shared a special connection. 287 00:10:49,674 --> 00:10:52,510 -[gasps] -Unless you didn't know. 288 00:10:52,510 --> 00:10:54,178 You didn't, did you? 289 00:10:54,178 --> 00:10:56,581 Well, she's my assistant now. 290 00:10:56,581 --> 00:10:59,584 And she says I'm the best boss 291 00:10:59,584 --> 00:11:01,586 she's ever had. 292 00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:03,821 -No! -[grunting] 293 00:11:05,556 --> 00:11:07,959 Aah! Room temperature tea! 294 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,761 -[angry squeaking] -[yells, groans] 295 00:11:09,761 --> 00:11:11,629 [grunts] 296 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,164 Fleety! [grunts] 297 00:11:13,164 --> 00:11:14,599 Aw, man. 298 00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:16,434 [grunting] 299 00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:18,002 -[groans, gasps] -Face it, Rip. 300 00:11:18,002 --> 00:11:19,437 Your story ends here, 301 00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:21,973 while my legend will only continue to grow. 302 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,541 That's always been your problem, Zane. 303 00:11:23,541 --> 00:11:26,277 You care more about personal glory than you do about history. 304 00:11:26,277 --> 00:11:28,680 I mean, did you even know that, during the Reformation, 305 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,148 Catholicism was outlawed in England 306 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,816 so homes were built with hidden priest holes 307 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,950 where clergy members could hide? 308 00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:34,552 -So? -So... 309 00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:35,987 you're standing on one. 310 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,622 -Now, Fleety! -[grunts] 311 00:11:37,622 --> 00:11:38,723 Whoa! 312 00:11:38,723 --> 00:11:39,924 -Bloody hell! -[squeaks] 313 00:11:39,924 --> 00:11:41,259 All right, Fleety, let's go back 314 00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:42,927 -and get that crate. -TRISKET: Boss? 315 00:11:42,927 --> 00:11:44,662 ZANE: Over here! I'm in a priest hole! 316 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,931 Oh, my God. "In a priest hole"? 317 00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:49,067 I have so many distasteful retorts to that, 318 00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,535 but I'm not even gonna go there! 319 00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:51,769 [gasps] 320 00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:53,738 Oh, crap! 321 00:11:53,738 --> 00:11:55,506 You're the only person I could turn to. Please. 322 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,842 I thought you quit. I don't help quitters. 323 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,243 I know, but I need information. 324 00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:00,878 And nobody knows more about the underbelly 325 00:12:00,878 --> 00:12:02,180 of the arky world than you. 326 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,948 So, tell me, who is the Antiquarian? 327 00:12:03,948 --> 00:12:06,551 I prayed this day would never come. 328 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,486 I guess that proves it. 329 00:12:08,486 --> 00:12:09,987 I don't know how to pray. 330 00:12:09,987 --> 00:12:11,489 Agatha! Please tell me who it is 331 00:12:11,489 --> 00:12:13,758 or I'll absolutely beef in my khakis! 332 00:12:13,758 --> 00:12:15,293 Fine. He knows more than anyone 333 00:12:15,293 --> 00:12:17,562 about rare and obscure historical objects, 334 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,064 but he's not someone you want anything to do with. 335 00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,332 Look, I've already said too much. 336 00:12:21,332 --> 00:12:22,900 Just stay away from his nightclub 337 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,703 on the outskirts of town at 4409 Hemlock Avenue, 338 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,473 even though there's usually ample street parking. 339 00:12:29,941 --> 00:12:33,411 You don't think she could be going to the...? 340 00:12:33,411 --> 00:12:35,046 Nah. 341 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,948 TRISKET: Rip, I know you're in here. 342 00:12:36,948 --> 00:12:38,483 I can smell your monkey. 343 00:12:38,483 --> 00:12:40,551 Fleety! You see what happens when you don't let me 344 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,720 -give you a bath? -[grumbles] 345 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,255 Huh. 346 00:12:46,023 --> 00:12:47,992 What the dickens? 347 00:12:47,992 --> 00:12:50,161 Oh, God! Who's this gonna be?! 348 00:12:52,747 --> 00:12:55,583 Dad, look, I took all the money I made from my new invention 349 00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:59,054 and I bought a vase dating from the days of Alexander the Great. 350 00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:00,855 I know it's not much, but one day 351 00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:03,258 I'll own a museum full of them. 352 00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:05,727 Dad? [gasps] 353 00:13:08,196 --> 00:13:10,598 [buzzing] 354 00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:12,834 ♪ ♪ 355 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:18,239 That's my dad. He always dreamed of seeing me open a museum, 356 00:13:18,239 --> 00:13:19,974 but he died before I ever could. 357 00:13:19,974 --> 00:13:21,910 So I had him cryogenically frozen 358 00:13:21,910 --> 00:13:23,244 until I could find the Holy Grail 359 00:13:23,244 --> 00:13:24,979 and bring him back to make him proud. 360 00:13:24,979 --> 00:13:26,648 You don't think that's weird, do you? 361 00:13:26,648 --> 00:13:28,616 Oh, wait. Of course you don't. 362 00:13:28,616 --> 00:13:29,984 -[grunts] -Whoa! 363 00:13:29,984 --> 00:13:31,586 What is that?! 364 00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:33,421 Huh?! Is that Bella?! 365 00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,023 Wow, this is crazy! 366 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,092 She's, like, frozen or something? 367 00:13:37,092 --> 00:13:38,226 I know you brought her here, Rip. 368 00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:39,661 We have you on, like, 50 cameras. 369 00:13:39,661 --> 00:13:40,929 Yeah, that makes sense. 370 00:13:40,929 --> 00:13:42,797 Now, what do you say we bring them 371 00:13:42,797 --> 00:13:45,567 both back to life? 372 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:47,168 Rip, do you copy? 373 00:13:47,168 --> 00:13:49,904 Damn it. Rip, just in case you can hear me, 374 00:13:49,904 --> 00:13:54,275 I feel it's time to finally admit why I hate pogo sticks. 375 00:13:54,275 --> 00:13:56,878 I used to love pogo-sticking as a kid. 376 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,813 I'd pogo all over town. 377 00:13:58,813 --> 00:14:01,883 But then, one day, I left my pogo unattended, 378 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,552 and my grandpa, who idolized me, 379 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,620 took it for a ride. 380 00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:07,522 He pogoed up to the town canyon 381 00:14:07,522 --> 00:14:08,790 -and went over the edge... -[gasps] 382 00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:10,191 -No! -[screaming] 383 00:14:10,191 --> 00:14:11,426 ...where he bounced off 384 00:14:11,426 --> 00:14:13,061 the canyon floor and then shot up 385 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,896 into the sky! And he got chopped up 386 00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,265 in a passing seaplane's propeller. 387 00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:19,033 No...! 388 00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:22,170 The whole experience made my family uncomfortable. 389 00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:24,172 And ever since that day, 390 00:14:24,172 --> 00:14:26,808 -I never pogoed again. -[thunder crashes] 391 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,512 [sighs deeply] 392 00:14:31,279 --> 00:14:35,049 Okay, our next item is a 19th century Queen Anne highboy. 393 00:14:35,049 --> 00:14:36,050 Can I get a ten, ten, ten? 394 00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:37,452 How about 11 now, 11 now? 395 00:14:37,452 --> 00:14:38,386 Ten, ten, ten, 11... 396 00:14:38,386 --> 00:14:40,155 Pennsylvania Dutch tinware 397 00:14:40,155 --> 00:14:41,823 with a tole-painted design. 398 00:14:41,823 --> 00:14:42,924 Vibrant colors. 399 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,025 Gooseneck spout. 400 00:14:44,025 --> 00:14:45,326 Yeah, I'd say that, in auction, 401 00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:47,328 this would go for roughly... 402 00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:48,296 nine Gs! 403 00:14:48,296 --> 00:14:50,532 Wow. Thank you, Antiquarian. 404 00:14:50,532 --> 00:14:52,667 Go see my associate to set up the auction. 405 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,135 Our cut is 40%. 406 00:14:55,804 --> 00:14:57,038 And who the hell are you? 407 00:14:57,038 --> 00:14:58,506 I'm interested in the Holy Grail. 408 00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:00,909 No shit. Who isn't? It's the ultimate antique. 409 00:15:00,909 --> 00:15:03,311 Every asshole in here wants that thing on their mantel. 410 00:15:03,311 --> 00:15:04,946 Taffy? Mmm. 411 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,714 Hooey, that's some salty water. 412 00:15:06,714 --> 00:15:08,283 No, you don't understand. 413 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,251 I'm talking about the Grail that came from Puffland. 414 00:15:10,251 --> 00:15:11,619 Something's wrong with it. 415 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,754 I don't know nothing 416 00:15:12,754 --> 00:15:14,155 -about that. -Yes, you do. 417 00:15:14,155 --> 00:15:16,191 And so what? I ought to wash your mouth out 418 00:15:16,191 --> 00:15:17,525 with distilled white vinegar 419 00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,661 and scrub you with artisanal potpourri 420 00:15:19,661 --> 00:15:21,729 for even mentioning that thing around me. 421 00:15:21,729 --> 00:15:25,333 Now beat it or I'll put an antique bullet in your brain. 422 00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:26,868 Do that 423 00:15:26,868 --> 00:15:29,671 and they'll be cleaning you off the ceiling for weeks. 424 00:15:29,671 --> 00:15:32,173 Agatha? But I thought you said you don't help quitters. 425 00:15:32,173 --> 00:15:34,609 I always say crazy shit like that. 426 00:15:34,609 --> 00:15:36,211 I was just being random. 427 00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:38,680 Now you're gonna tell us everything about the Grail. 428 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,114 Fine. I'll tell you. 429 00:15:40,114 --> 00:15:42,650 But you're not gonna like it. 430 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,620 [upbeat music playing] 431 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:46,654 -Yeah. -[cheering] 432 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:47,922 [chuckles] Thank you! 433 00:15:47,922 --> 00:15:51,092 And now please welcome Quail Eegan! 434 00:15:51,092 --> 00:15:52,393 Showmanship! 435 00:15:52,393 --> 00:15:53,928 Now, I know there's been talk 436 00:15:53,928 --> 00:15:56,030 that I didn't find the real Holy Grail. 437 00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,799 So how about I prove it? 438 00:15:57,799 --> 00:15:59,300 -[whirring] -[cheering] 439 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:03,438 [singsongy]: Let's resurrect some frozen corpses! 440 00:16:03,438 --> 00:16:04,606 This is my dad. 441 00:16:04,606 --> 00:16:06,674 And that's the great arky Bella Torres, 442 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,676 who didn't take Rip Digman's last name. 443 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,145 As you may know, they've both been dead for years. 444 00:16:11,145 --> 00:16:13,548 [singsongy]: But not for much longer. 445 00:16:13,548 --> 00:16:14,949 -MAN: Oh, my gosh. -[murmuring] 446 00:16:14,949 --> 00:16:18,052 ♪ ♪ 447 00:16:27,762 --> 00:16:28,763 Son? 448 00:16:28,763 --> 00:16:29,764 -[gasping] -Dad. 449 00:16:29,764 --> 00:16:30,899 Is it really you? 450 00:16:30,899 --> 00:16:32,000 Where am I? 451 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,201 The last thing I remember, 452 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,535 I was in the kitchen. 453 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,371 That's right, Dad. You died years ago, 454 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:39,040 but I became a billionaire and brought you back to life 455 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,541 using the Holy Grail 456 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:43,044 so that you could see my spectacular new museum. 457 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,380 That's what I was going to guess happened. 458 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:48,082 Oh, Quail, I'm so proud of you. 459 00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:49,250 I love you. 460 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:50,485 -I love you, too! -[cheering] 461 00:16:50,485 --> 00:16:52,053 MAN: Wow. Did you just see that? 462 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,488 That was amazing. 463 00:16:53,488 --> 00:16:54,522 Your turn. 464 00:16:54,522 --> 00:16:56,491 Okay. 465 00:16:56,491 --> 00:16:58,493 Something's wrong. I got to help Rip. 466 00:16:58,493 --> 00:17:02,330 But this museum is huge. How will I find him in time? 467 00:17:03,164 --> 00:17:06,567 So we meet again, you springy bitch. 468 00:17:07,435 --> 00:17:08,503 Okay. 469 00:17:08,503 --> 00:17:09,604 Here I go. 470 00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:11,205 WOMAN: No, Rip! Don't! Don't! 471 00:17:11,205 --> 00:17:13,007 -Who said that? -[grunts] Rip! 472 00:17:13,007 --> 00:17:16,044 -Don't! -Saltine said that! 473 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:19,890 Oh, this is just my luck. Here I am, trying to revive 474 00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:22,159 my frozen spouse with water from the Holy Grail, 475 00:17:22,159 --> 00:17:23,627 and who interrupts me? 476 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:25,262 My former assistant! 477 00:17:25,262 --> 00:17:28,565 I wouldn't believe it myself if it wasn't my own crazy life! 478 00:17:28,565 --> 00:17:30,667 Rip, don't do it! It's... [grunts] 479 00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:33,003 Anyways, back to this. Aw. 480 00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:35,539 I haven't seen that ear in many moons. 481 00:17:35,539 --> 00:17:36,740 Huh. 482 00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:39,376 I forgot about that scar, though. [gasps] 483 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,078 I'm just gonna open it. 484 00:17:41,078 --> 00:17:42,513 I don't think it's booby-trapped. 485 00:17:42,513 --> 00:17:43,714 It definitely is. 486 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:44,882 I doubt it. 487 00:17:44,882 --> 00:17:46,583 -[creaking] -[grunting] 488 00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:47,584 [gasps] 489 00:17:47,584 --> 00:17:49,086 It's gonna leave a scar, 490 00:17:49,086 --> 00:17:50,153 but you'll be fine. 491 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,388 Why didn't you listen to me? 492 00:17:51,388 --> 00:17:52,656 I was trying to enjoy the ride 493 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,725 and you just kept pushing my butt in. 494 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,226 Rip, you only say that 495 00:17:56,226 --> 00:17:57,794 when someone who loves you is trying to help you. 496 00:17:57,794 --> 00:17:59,963 You get mad that they know what's best for you. 497 00:17:59,963 --> 00:18:01,498 Why would I get mad about that? 498 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,166 Because you have major psychological issues 499 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,201 and you should go to therapy. 500 00:18:04,201 --> 00:18:05,869 The industry of death?! 501 00:18:05,869 --> 00:18:07,437 Just remember this, Rip-- 502 00:18:07,437 --> 00:18:10,407 whenever you think someone is "pushing your butt in," 503 00:18:10,407 --> 00:18:11,842 it means they care about you. 504 00:18:11,842 --> 00:18:14,311 So you should always listen to them... 505 00:18:14,311 --> 00:18:17,447 [echoing]: and do what they say. 506 00:18:17,447 --> 00:18:18,749 ♪ ♪ 507 00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:21,685 [quietly]: Rip, what are you waiting for? 508 00:18:24,955 --> 00:18:26,290 Let her drink from the Grail. 509 00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:27,724 -Bring her back. -Yes, give her a sip. 510 00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:29,459 As another recently revived American, 511 00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:31,995 I can say it was quite refreshing. 512 00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,032 -No. -[gasping] 513 00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:37,100 And pray tell, why not? 514 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,870 Because even though I want more than anything 515 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,204 to bring Bella back to life, 516 00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,240 what she would want me to do 517 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,610 is listen to someone who pushes my butt in. 518 00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:47,644 [grunts] Whip! 519 00:18:47,644 --> 00:18:48,579 [yells] 520 00:18:48,579 --> 00:18:50,514 [grunts] Jump kick! 521 00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:53,350 I was a cod-headed fool to let you quit, Saltine. 522 00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:55,452 -I'm sorry. -Rip! 523 00:18:55,452 --> 00:18:57,688 I conquered my fear of pogo sticks! 524 00:18:57,688 --> 00:19:00,324 The main thing we all care about! 525 00:19:00,324 --> 00:19:01,658 Oh, shit. Is that the Grail? 526 00:19:01,658 --> 00:19:03,493 They stopped you from giving it to Bella? 527 00:19:03,493 --> 00:19:04,661 Don't worry! I'm on it! 528 00:19:04,661 --> 00:19:06,029 -Swooper, no! -Swooper, no! 529 00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:08,665 No...! 530 00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,469 -[panting] -[grunts] 531 00:19:12,469 --> 00:19:13,637 Bella? 532 00:19:13,637 --> 00:19:14,371 My love? 533 00:19:14,371 --> 00:19:16,039 Yes, it's me. 534 00:19:16,039 --> 00:19:17,040 I'm here. 535 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,742 [chuckles] 536 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:20,077 Not you. 537 00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:21,612 [low chuckle] 538 00:19:21,612 --> 00:19:23,447 -Huh?! -My dear. 539 00:19:23,447 --> 00:19:24,381 Papa? 540 00:19:24,381 --> 00:19:25,449 I was trying to tell you-- 541 00:19:25,449 --> 00:19:27,417 it's not the Holy Grail. 542 00:19:29,219 --> 00:19:30,787 It's the Unholy Grail. 543 00:19:30,787 --> 00:19:31,855 [distorted]: I'll be taking that. 544 00:19:31,855 --> 00:19:33,190 Whoa! 545 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:34,825 Let's raise a glass... 546 00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,093 to evil. 547 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:37,361 How did I not notice that sticker? 548 00:19:37,361 --> 00:19:39,262 Bella, if you can hear me in there, 549 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,764 you have to fight this! 550 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,165 I am no longer Bella. 551 00:19:42,165 --> 00:19:44,701 I am the Antichrist! 552 00:19:44,701 --> 00:19:46,203 And I am... 553 00:19:46,203 --> 00:19:47,604 [distorted]: the Uncle Christ. 554 00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:49,306 Auntie Christ and Uncle Christ. 555 00:19:49,306 --> 00:19:50,574 That's really clever! 556 00:19:50,574 --> 00:19:53,143 And, together, we shall destroy 557 00:19:53,143 --> 00:19:55,412 all of mankind! 558 00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:58,582 [screaming] 559 00:20:01,051 --> 00:20:02,753 Die! 560 00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,626 Huh. 561 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,361 HOWARD TOE: Following the incident at the Eegan tonight, 562 00:20:11,361 --> 00:20:13,797 the Antichrist and Uncle Christ destroyed a power plant, 563 00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:15,599 throwing the world further into chaos. 564 00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:18,301 Hey, guys. Sorry again for bringing Bella back to life 565 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,070 as the embodiment of pure evil. 566 00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:21,271 To make it up to you, 567 00:20:21,271 --> 00:20:23,607 I got acai bowls for everyone! 568 00:20:23,607 --> 00:20:26,877 Swooper, there's no time for acai bowls right now. 569 00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:28,311 -Not even a bite? -No! 570 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:31,048 Because we have a new mission. 571 00:20:31,048 --> 00:20:33,083 [sighs] Stupid Antichrist 572 00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,284 ruining my grand opening. 573 00:20:34,284 --> 00:20:35,285 Hello, Mr. Eegan. 574 00:20:35,285 --> 00:20:36,887 Billy Themet? 575 00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:37,954 What are you doing here? 576 00:20:37,954 --> 00:20:39,289 I checked out your museum 577 00:20:39,289 --> 00:20:40,457 and found it to be... 578 00:20:40,457 --> 00:20:42,392 quite impressive indeed. 579 00:20:42,392 --> 00:20:45,128 But I ruined it all by unleashing hell on Earth. 580 00:20:45,128 --> 00:20:46,396 On the contrary. 581 00:20:46,396 --> 00:20:48,231 The Antichrist and the Uncle Christ 582 00:20:48,231 --> 00:20:50,267 may prove quite useful to us. 583 00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:53,036 Tell me, Mr. Eegan, have you ever heard of... 584 00:20:53,036 --> 00:20:54,037 The Council? 585 00:20:54,037 --> 00:20:55,405 RIP: We have 586 00:20:55,405 --> 00:20:57,307 a mission to restore order to the world. 587 00:20:57,307 --> 00:21:01,845 A mission to undo the horrors I have very indirectly caused. 588 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,848 And there's only one way to accomplish said mission. 589 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:07,350 We have to kill Bella. 590 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,419 -[gasping] -And how are we gonna do that? 591 00:21:09,419 --> 00:21:11,555 I'll tell you next season. 592 00:21:11,555 --> 00:21:13,490 -Season? -Yeah. As mentioned, 593 00:21:13,490 --> 00:21:16,760 today was June 20, aka the last day of spring. 594 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,296 And it will be midnight in three, 595 00:21:19,296 --> 00:21:21,465 two, one. Now, as I was say... 596 00:21:44,213 --> 00:21:45,448 Chirp.