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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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(♪♪♪)

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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(♪♪♪)

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♪ You and me, we're not the same ♪

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♪ I am a sinner, you are a saint ♪

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♪ When we get to the pearly gates ♪

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♪ You'll get the green light

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♪ I'll get the...

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(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

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♪ Doo, doo, doo

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♪ I'm a loser in this game

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♪ I'll find love in the strangest place ♪

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♪ Tied up and branded, lost in a daze ♪

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♪ I say I'm gonna stage a great escape ♪

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(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

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♪ Doo, doo, doo

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♪ I'm a loser in this game

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Okay, you know what to do.

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Just smile, nod, and keep your mouth shut.

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That's it. Just keep your mouth shut.

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Don't say anything, you know,

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unless you have a really good idea.

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And then, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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Fuck you. Don't talk.

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Keep your mouth shut. Nod, smile, and be chill.

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Be chill and blend in. Okay?

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You've got this. This is your day.

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You good?

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So good.

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Want to grab a coffee on our way to work?

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Fuck yeah.

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(SIGHS) Fuck yeah.

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No, listen, Whitney, they want me

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to sit in on the meeting.

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Honestly, I think they're gonna promote me.

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Already?

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But you've only been there a week.

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It's such a great company and everybody there loves me.

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Aren't you an intern?

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Yes, but I'm a paid intern, okay?

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Not a regular intern. It's very different.

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That's great, but I'm just

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worried you're getting ahead of yourself again.

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No, no, no, no, no, no.

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This time feels different, okay?

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And I'll have rent money for you by Friday.

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Or you know, if not, you know this Friday,

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then-- then next Friday.

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I guess the 15th is the new first.

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You're such a good friend, really.

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And very soon you won't have to cover me anymore.

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Honestly, that's a huge relief.

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My preschool teacher salary is more of an allowance

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as opposed to a--

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Aren't you gonna be late for work?

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Shit, fuck, yes!

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Try not to, you know?

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-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Be so, you know?

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Yeah, I know.

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Hey, how's the hat?

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Bold.

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Perfect.

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(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

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(♪♪♪)

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This is going to be a fantastic partnership.

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So Uber, acquiring our assets,

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is gonna allow our print division to expand.

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Hmm.

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(APPLAUSE)

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Jesus Christ.

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I'm sorry, did you have something to say?

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-Me? -Yeah.

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Uh...

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Yeah. Yeah, fuck it.

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Listen, we're an independent magazine,

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unobstructed by the agendas of major corporations.

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Uber is one of the biggest abusers

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of human rights in the world,

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and they value shareholder profits over ethics

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and journalistic integrity.

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So, to partner with a company like that, sir, would be

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absolutely disgusting.

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And honestly, fucking ridiculous.

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Thank you for your honesty.

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Sure.

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(UPBEAT MUSIC)

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(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

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(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

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Really? Again?

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Wasn't my fault this time.

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Orson's in there.

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(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON LAPTOP)

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Oh my God!

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Oh, fuck, Ruby, what the fuck?

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Me, what the fuck?

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You, what the fuck?

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I'm at work and you're here

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sitting on my bed, on my laptop,

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jerking off to some fake lesbians?

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They're real lesbians.

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Couldn't you have just waited until I got home?

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I mean, it's not like we don't bone

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all the goddamn time.

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I even have a Costco membership just for the condoms.

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You also like the samples.

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No, you like the samples.

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Whatever, Ruby!

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Sometimes guys just need to do their own thing, okay?

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We're visual creatures.

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Well, so are women.

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I mean, I'm a visual creature.

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You never want to watch porn.

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Well, I'm sorry.

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I'm not super into watching female sexuality exist

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for the sole purpose of pleasing a man.

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There's other types.

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There's fake taxi driver, fake bus driver.

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-What? -There's step sister,

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there's step cousin, girl on granny.

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Orson, you need to get a real job.

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I have a real job.

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Indie filmmaker is not a real job.

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Try telling that to Steven Soderbergh.

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-Who? -Traffic,

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Contagion, Ocean's Twelve.

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Is this because I wouldn't do anal with you?

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What? No.

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Because you know I would. I told you I would.

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It's just that I have that nightmare.

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Yes, I know, I know.

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It was stuck in you.

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It's a thing that can happen.

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It's happened to people I know.

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Not about the anal, Ruby.

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God, you're just so close-minded.

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I once did blow off Frances McDormand's tits.

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That waitress from Applebee's?

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It was Frances.

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Look, when it comes to sex, you're a little uptight.

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You are.

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You know that when we do it, you count until it's over?

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Well, I stopped counting out loud.

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Ugh, do you even hear yourself?

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Sorry, Ruby, but you're just not fun.

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-I'm not fun? -No.

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(SIGHS)

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(UPBEAT MUSIC)

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Ow! What the fuck?

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My mony!

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Please, everybody knows that it's fake.

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ORSON: Yeah, and it was fucking expensive!

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Have fun with your fake ponytail,

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and your fake lesbians, and your butt sex.

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They are real lesb-

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(SIGHS)

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-WHITNEY: Ruby? -RUBY: What?

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Shit.

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Uh, mom, dad, hi. What are you doing here?

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And together.

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I haven't seen you guys in the same room

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since the divorce.

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How about the four of us go grab a bite to eat?

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Oh no, who has cancer?

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I just have a question about the lesbians.

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No one's dying unless I finally murder your father.

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Still have a question.

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(SIGHS)

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(CUTLERY CLINKING)

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-Like I said, that was good. -Yes, very.

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-Yeah, yeah. -It was really good.

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Okay, I can't take it anymore.

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Just tell me what's going on.

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Your dad and I have decided to stop giving you money.

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No, no, but I just got fired.

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-Again? -You lost your job

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and your boyfriend all in one day.

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That's gotta be some kind of record.

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-Thanks, dad. -I'm just saying,

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you were a little hard on your boyfriend.

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I mean, I'm not crazy about the ponytail,

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but he did make some solid points.

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The door was a little bit wide open.

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You know, Ruby, porn's not that bad.

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You gotta understand something about guys' minds.

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We like movies. Wanna see ‘em?

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-Dad. -Ron.

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I'm just being honest.

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It's nature.

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I just don't wanna see you single forever.

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You've gotten very close-minded.

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Close-minded?

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Did you not hear me say that I once snorted blow off--

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-Yes, I did hear that. -The waitress from Applebee's.

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She wasn't a waitress.

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Ron, don't you need to use the restroom?

197
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No, I did before I came.

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-Oh, oh, yeah, I do. -Yeah, uh-huh.

199
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Your father and I are very worried about you.

200
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I don't like to hear about you doing cocaine.

201
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You know, drugs will age you faster than suntans.

202
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I know, I know, but it was just that one time, mom, so.

203
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That night was so crazy, though.

204
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It was. The one and only time I did cocaine.

205
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That was funny. The one and only time.

206
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Sweetie, it's time to start being more responsible.

207
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You have to think about your future,

208
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and you-- you need to get a job.

209
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And you know, keep it.

210
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I know. I know.

211
00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:15,668
But I really am trying, mom.

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00:08:15,768 --> 00:08:19,205
Good. So where are you trying next?

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00:08:19,305 --> 00:08:21,241
Well, I mean, I would love to work

214
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for a place like The Sophisticate.

215
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That has to be one of the biggest

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publications in the world.

217
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The problem is

218
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I unfortunately have no marketable skills

219
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and basically, zero resume.

220
00:08:31,051 --> 00:08:32,418
Oh, that's not true.

221
00:08:32,518 --> 00:08:35,521
You were junior class president and you were published.

222
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When I was 17.

223
00:08:36,589 --> 00:08:38,091
Yeah, but that has to account for something.

224
00:08:38,191 --> 00:08:39,925
-It doesn't. -She's right, it doesn't.

225
00:08:40,026 --> 00:08:41,127
RON: Tampons.

226
00:08:41,227 --> 00:08:42,995
25 cents in there if you want to stock up.

227
00:08:43,096 --> 00:08:44,364
(DEB SIGHS)

228
00:08:44,464 --> 00:08:46,466
Were you in the women's room, Ron?

229
00:08:46,566 --> 00:08:48,068
No, it's a bi-bathroom.

230
00:08:48,168 --> 00:08:51,004
Uh, pan, fluid.

231
00:08:51,104 --> 00:08:52,505
I got a little something for you ladies.

232
00:08:52,605 --> 00:08:54,574
Oh no, dad, no, no, no, no, no.

233
00:08:54,674 --> 00:08:55,475
It's alright. Just a little present.

234
00:08:55,575 --> 00:08:56,876
-Be alright. -Thanks, Ron.

235
00:08:56,976 --> 00:08:57,977
Sure. Are you? Oh, yeah, yeah.

236
00:08:58,078 --> 00:08:59,379
-No. -I forgot.

237
00:08:59,479 --> 00:09:00,713
-Yeah, so you could-- -(GASPS)

238
00:09:00,813 --> 00:09:01,581
What? Oh, no, no.

239
00:09:01,681 --> 00:09:03,083
I was thinking about something else.

240
00:09:03,183 --> 00:09:04,817
That's weird.

241
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:05,785
Check, please.

242
00:09:05,885 --> 00:09:09,489
(♪♪♪)

243
00:09:09,589 --> 00:09:11,024
-(EXHALES) -(PHONE RINGING)

244
00:09:11,124 --> 00:09:12,358
Hi, I'm looking for a job.

245
00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:16,129
(KEYS CLICKING)

246
00:09:16,229 --> 00:09:18,398
(PHONE RINGING)

247
00:09:18,498 --> 00:09:20,233
Hi there. I'm looking for a job.

248
00:09:23,136 --> 00:09:24,137
(SCRUNCHES)

249
00:09:24,237 --> 00:09:25,038
Well, I've never worked in a pizzeria,

250
00:09:25,138 --> 00:09:26,772
so I thought, give ‘em a call.

251
00:09:28,774 --> 00:09:30,976
No, I uh-- I don't.

252
00:09:31,077 --> 00:09:39,685
(♪♪♪)

253
00:09:39,785 --> 00:09:42,088
Hi there. I'm looking for a job.

254
00:09:42,188 --> 00:09:43,889
Are you sure you're 12, because you play

255
00:09:43,989 --> 00:09:45,458
like you're fucking 6?

256
00:09:45,558 --> 00:09:47,093
Hi, I'm looking for a job.

257
00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:48,361
I would stay away from your windows

258
00:09:48,461 --> 00:09:50,830
if I were you, because I am going to swat you.

259
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Any job, I don't care.

260
00:09:52,198 --> 00:09:54,067
No, I don't care.

261
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,535
I'm gonna find out where you live.

262
00:09:55,635 --> 00:09:56,902
I'm gonna come to your house.

263
00:09:57,003 --> 00:09:59,139
I'm gonna fuck your dad and give him a child

264
00:09:59,239 --> 00:10:00,806
he's actually proud of.

265
00:10:03,143 --> 00:10:05,245
Fucking pubeless wonder.

266
00:10:05,345 --> 00:10:06,812
BOY 1: (ON VOICE CHAT) Fuck you!

267
00:10:08,414 --> 00:10:14,587
(PHONE RINGING)

268
00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:18,424
Hello.

269
00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:22,628
In an hour?

270
00:10:22,728 --> 00:10:24,997
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

271
00:10:25,098 --> 00:10:25,998
Yeah, yeah.

272
00:10:26,099 --> 00:10:27,267
Mm-hmm, absolutely.

273
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:28,601
I'll be there.

274
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:30,003
Okay.

275
00:10:30,103 --> 00:10:31,071
Fuck!

276
00:10:32,372 --> 00:10:35,941
(JEAN TUTTING)

277
00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:38,578
Hm, hm.

278
00:10:39,612 --> 00:10:41,381
There's nothing on the back.

279
00:10:42,815 --> 00:10:44,450
See that.

280
00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:45,851
Well, with the looks of it,

281
00:10:45,951 --> 00:10:48,388
you don't take your future very seriously.

282
00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:49,722
What? Why would you say that?

283
00:10:49,822 --> 00:10:52,425
You have no real work experience worth mentioning.

284
00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:53,359
Well, no, for six months, I worked--

285
00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:55,495
(JEAN STUTTERS)

286
00:10:55,595 --> 00:10:58,198
Like I said, none worth mentioning.

287
00:10:58,298 --> 00:10:59,465
Well, I've been published.

288
00:10:59,565 --> 00:11:01,667
-Yes, I see that. -Okay.

289
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:02,968
Well, I have a ton of life experience.

290
00:11:03,069 --> 00:11:05,605
Sounds like a very nice way of saying that you're poor.

291
00:11:05,705 --> 00:11:07,707
Yeah, I am pretty poor.

292
00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:08,908
Okay.

293
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:14,014
(CLICKING KEYS)

294
00:11:15,948 --> 00:11:18,518
Hm, okay.

295
00:11:19,919 --> 00:11:22,788
Are you one of these open-minded girls?

296
00:11:22,888 --> 00:11:23,723
Definitely.

297
00:11:23,823 --> 00:11:25,125
Well, I don't know how this is possible,

298
00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:26,359
but I have a job for you.

299
00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:27,960
Really? That-- that's amazing.

300
00:11:28,061 --> 00:11:28,861
That's great. What is it?

301
00:11:28,961 --> 00:11:32,265
The last temp that I sent there got shot.

302
00:11:32,365 --> 00:11:35,235
-Where? -In the head.

303
00:11:35,335 --> 00:11:37,103
Oh my God.

304
00:11:37,203 --> 00:11:38,404
I'm sorry. What company is this for?

305
00:11:38,504 --> 00:11:40,106
Doesn't really matter.

306
00:11:40,206 --> 00:11:44,210
Alright, I have sent you the address.

307
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:48,114
You are already late, so you need to go.

308
00:11:48,214 --> 00:11:49,149
Go? Like go now?

309
00:11:49,249 --> 00:11:51,184
Yes, now. Go! Come on.

310
00:11:51,284 --> 00:11:52,952
Go, up, go.

311
00:11:53,053 --> 00:11:53,853
Okay, good luck.

312
00:11:53,953 --> 00:12:02,095
(♪♪♪)

313
00:12:02,195 --> 00:12:03,729
(SIGHS)

314
00:12:05,365 --> 00:12:07,367
(EXHALES)

315
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:08,868
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

316
00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:10,670
(WHIRS)

317
00:12:12,872 --> 00:12:14,107
How's it going?

318
00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:22,648
(♪♪♪)

319
00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:36,029
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

320
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:40,600
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

321
00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:42,568
(ELEVATOR DOOR WHIRRING)

322
00:12:42,668 --> 00:12:44,870
(CLICKING BUTTONS)

323
00:12:48,241 --> 00:12:49,909
You didn't tell me it was for porn.

324
00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:52,378
You said you were one of these open-minded girls.

325
00:12:52,478 --> 00:12:54,514
Well, I am. Ish.

326
00:12:54,614 --> 00:12:55,815
JEAN: (ON PHONE) Listen, if you are going

327
00:12:55,915 --> 00:12:57,650
to be difficult about assignments,

328
00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:00,253
then we cannot work together.

329
00:13:00,353 --> 00:13:02,222
Besides, it is a publishing house.

330
00:13:02,322 --> 00:13:03,189
You should be thanking me.

331
00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:04,424
It's just one day?

332
00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:05,891
Yeah, it's just one day.

333
00:13:05,991 --> 00:13:06,892
Okay, I gotta run.

334
00:13:06,992 --> 00:13:08,128
Very busy.

335
00:13:09,562 --> 00:13:10,996
(BREATHS)

336
00:13:13,366 --> 00:13:17,137
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS, WHIRS)

337
00:13:17,237 --> 00:13:18,338
Oh, yay.

338
00:13:18,438 --> 00:13:20,806
You're back. Welcome.

339
00:13:20,906 --> 00:13:23,143
You must be the new temp, I can tell.

340
00:13:23,243 --> 00:13:24,810
That's me.

341
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:27,580
Any problems being around dildos?

342
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,549
No, I'm around them all the time.

343
00:13:30,883 --> 00:13:31,984
Great.

344
00:13:32,085 --> 00:13:33,619
RUBY: Oh my God.

345
00:13:33,719 --> 00:13:34,954
Are these returns?

346
00:13:35,055 --> 00:13:36,022
Or are they props?

347
00:13:36,122 --> 00:13:37,423
They're so gross.

348
00:13:37,523 --> 00:13:46,332
(♪♪♪)

349
00:13:46,432 --> 00:13:47,667
Is that?

350
00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:51,271
No. No.

351
00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:56,009
Baby Jesus?

352
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:04,550
Um, ew, ew.

353
00:14:06,219 --> 00:14:07,620
What the fuck is this?

354
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:14,794
(♪♪♪)

355
00:14:16,662 --> 00:14:19,499
FERRETTI: Sizemore.

356
00:14:19,599 --> 00:14:21,434
Troubles at home?

357
00:14:21,534 --> 00:14:23,803
Or are you just perusing the articles?

358
00:14:24,737 --> 00:14:26,239
Did you get the steaks?

359
00:14:26,339 --> 00:14:27,607
Japanese.

360
00:14:27,707 --> 00:14:29,975
They pound the fuck out of them for weeks.

361
00:14:30,976 --> 00:14:32,278
I prefer fish.

362
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:36,049
How about a bourbon?

363
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:39,419
That shit's older than me.

364
00:14:39,519 --> 00:14:41,287
You know what today is?

365
00:14:41,387 --> 00:14:43,656
-Wednesday? -It's six months

366
00:14:43,756 --> 00:14:46,259
from when we last had this conversation.

367
00:14:49,829 --> 00:14:52,398
It's a stress boob.

368
00:14:52,498 --> 00:14:53,933
For stress.

369
00:14:54,034 --> 00:14:57,270
Seems to be a lot of that going on around here.

370
00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:58,838
It's ironic.

371
00:14:58,938 --> 00:15:01,941
You know, because this place normally helps relieve.

372
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:04,977
Never mind.

373
00:15:06,512 --> 00:15:08,381
Yeah, I get it.

374
00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:11,817
Look, Spread's been around longer than you've been alive.

375
00:15:12,752 --> 00:15:15,455
We've survived stock market crashes,

376
00:15:15,555 --> 00:15:19,892
the Evangelicals, 17 bomb threats,

377
00:15:19,992 --> 00:15:20,726
and Reagan.

378
00:15:20,826 --> 00:15:24,397
And yet here we are, burning money.

379
00:15:24,497 --> 00:15:27,533
I need a good reason to keep this financial disaster going.

380
00:15:27,633 --> 00:15:28,701
Fuck that.

381
00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:30,536
Spread is a legacy.

382
00:15:30,636 --> 00:15:31,804
Do you have any idea how many

383
00:15:31,904 --> 00:15:34,974
pimply-faced kids were jerking off

384
00:15:35,075 --> 00:15:38,478
to my magazine while I was creating an empire?

385
00:15:38,578 --> 00:15:40,346
-I was one of them. -Ah!

386
00:15:40,446 --> 00:15:41,981
And that is the only reason

387
00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:44,817
that we are sitting here talking.

388
00:15:44,917 --> 00:15:46,852
Have you ever heard of Ättestupa?

389
00:15:46,952 --> 00:15:48,721
What is this, a quiz?

390
00:15:48,821 --> 00:15:50,690
It was a Viking tradition.

391
00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:54,060
When a person became a burden on their community.

392
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,062
Well, they would relinquish themselves.

393
00:15:56,162 --> 00:15:57,697
And when they didn't do it voluntarily

394
00:15:57,797 --> 00:15:59,799
Well, they were pushed off a cliff.

395
00:15:59,899 --> 00:16:01,867
It was kindness really.

396
00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:04,270
That way they didn't have to suffer the indignity

397
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:06,106
of being a drain on everyone,

398
00:16:06,206 --> 00:16:09,109
while everything they ever worked for

399
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:12,012
was stripped away from them.

400
00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:16,649
Give me until the luau.

401
00:16:17,983 --> 00:16:19,619
(SIGHS)

402
00:16:19,719 --> 00:16:22,855
Is that the shitty costume party I have to pay for?

403
00:16:22,955 --> 00:16:24,557
Seems like you could use a lay.

404
00:16:24,657 --> 00:16:25,825
Fuck.

405
00:16:25,925 --> 00:16:27,260
Okay, until the luau.

406
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:28,528
And you know what?

407
00:16:28,628 --> 00:16:33,166
If your numbers are up by then, and I mean way, way the fuck up,

408
00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:37,137
then maybe you'll get to have another one next year.

409
00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:40,140
And if not?

410
00:16:44,577 --> 00:16:46,412
I'm not jumping off the cliff.

411
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:52,585
I know.

412
00:16:52,685 --> 00:16:55,655
Sometimes people need a little push.

413
00:16:55,755 --> 00:17:04,964
(♪♪♪)

414
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:09,235
(INDISTINCT CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

415
00:17:13,539 --> 00:17:15,075
RUBY: Come on.

416
00:17:15,175 --> 00:17:17,443
(GRUNTS)

417
00:17:19,145 --> 00:17:21,981
You-- you know there's a green room for talent.

418
00:17:23,849 --> 00:17:25,685
-Talent? -For the actress.

419
00:17:25,785 --> 00:17:27,820
-You think I'm a porn star? -No, no, no.

420
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,889
-Definitely not a star. -Well, why?

421
00:17:29,989 --> 00:17:31,324
Because you don't recognize me?

422
00:17:31,424 --> 00:17:32,825
Well, that and because you don't have the body for it.

423
00:17:32,925 --> 00:17:35,161
Wow. Okay. Thank you.

424
00:17:35,261 --> 00:17:37,230
-It wasn't a compliment. -Yeah, I know.

425
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:38,431
I'm Ruby, I'm the temp.

426
00:17:38,531 --> 00:17:40,300
Oh, uh, tough times, huh?

427
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,801
No. You're so wrong.

428
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:44,270
In fact, things have never been better for me.

429
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:46,806
Yeah, I'm actually starting a really big job tomorrow, so...

430
00:17:46,906 --> 00:17:48,508
Oh, really? Where?

431
00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:50,943
Well, it's that little place

432
00:17:51,044 --> 00:17:53,413
that you may or may not have heard of

433
00:17:53,513 --> 00:17:55,481
called “the Sophisticate”.

434
00:17:56,949 --> 00:17:57,983
Never heard of it.

435
00:17:58,084 --> 00:17:59,819
Okay, well, you're literally the only one.

436
00:17:59,919 --> 00:18:01,587
-What do you do here? -I'm the art director.

437
00:18:01,687 --> 00:18:04,257
Oh, that's amazing.

438
00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:06,259
-Art. -Cute.

439
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,561
Hope your big Sophisticate job over there feeds you,

440
00:18:08,661 --> 00:18:11,831
because this isn't a good look.

441
00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:24,877
You're not from around here.

442
00:18:26,712 --> 00:18:28,814
No, no, I'm not.

443
00:18:28,914 --> 00:18:31,117
I'm Ruby. I'm just the temp for today.

444
00:18:31,217 --> 00:18:32,152
Who are you?

445
00:18:32,252 --> 00:18:33,919
Hank.

446
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:36,222
And what do you do here, Hank?

447
00:18:36,322 --> 00:18:39,125
I'm the editor of the Pussy Quest page.

448
00:18:39,225 --> 00:18:41,794
Real women send me photos of their vaginas every week

449
00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:43,196
and I pick a winner.

450
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:46,966
Winner gets cash and their pussy on the site.

451
00:18:48,468 --> 00:18:49,802
Neat.

452
00:18:55,908 --> 00:18:57,643
-(GASPS) -Oh, you scared me.

453
00:18:57,743 --> 00:18:59,345
Hi.

454
00:18:59,445 --> 00:19:00,313
I'm Ruby.

455
00:19:00,413 --> 00:19:04,584
I'm the temp, and um-- and I'm a diabetic,

456
00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:06,286
which is why I took so many snacks.

457
00:19:06,386 --> 00:19:08,454
It's not just because I'm poor and have no money.

458
00:19:08,554 --> 00:19:12,858
You look like an angel.

459
00:19:12,958 --> 00:19:15,628
Oh, well, I assure you I'm not.

460
00:19:15,728 --> 00:19:16,629
What's your name?

461
00:19:16,729 --> 00:19:19,565
Oh, Nelson.

462
00:19:19,665 --> 00:19:22,902
Your hair is so slippery-looking.

463
00:19:23,003 --> 00:19:24,270
Like greasy?

464
00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:26,306
Like a baby doll.

465
00:19:26,406 --> 00:19:29,442
Oh, well, thank you.

466
00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:31,844
You're very welcome.

467
00:19:31,944 --> 00:19:38,384
(♪♪♪)

468
00:19:38,484 --> 00:19:40,120
Oh my God.

469
00:19:48,528 --> 00:19:49,429
Who are you?

470
00:19:50,630 --> 00:19:52,032
Prudence!

471
00:19:52,132 --> 00:19:53,499
Why is there a girl here?

472
00:19:53,599 --> 00:19:55,735
I'm Ruby, I'm the temp.

473
00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:57,237
You're a temp, okay.

474
00:19:57,337 --> 00:19:58,738
Won't bother memorizing your name then.

475
00:19:58,838 --> 00:20:00,540
Really? It's just two syllables.

476
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,474
Ruby.

477
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:02,942
You'll be reporting to me.

478
00:20:03,043 --> 00:20:06,079
I'm basically your supervisor, so take my coffee black.

479
00:20:06,179 --> 00:20:09,149
Oh, unfortunately, I was told to do a dildo inventory.

480
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:12,485
I'm basically the unofficial official features editor here.

481
00:20:12,585 --> 00:20:15,355
Do you have a name or is it just unofficial official?

482
00:20:15,455 --> 00:20:16,489
You talk too much.

483
00:20:16,589 --> 00:20:17,490
Okay, my name is Leslie,

484
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:19,359
but you can refer to me as Mr. McDumack.

485
00:20:19,459 --> 00:20:20,260
Oh, Leslie.

486
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,961
Leslie, like the girl's name, Leslie?

487
00:20:22,062 --> 00:20:24,730
(CHUCKLES) You are just so ignorant, aren't you?

488
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:25,865
-Am I? -Yeah.

489
00:20:25,965 --> 00:20:27,700
Before you embarrass yourself any further,

490
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,935
you should know that Leslie is actually a Scottish surname.

491
00:20:30,036 --> 00:20:31,771
-Wow. -And up until the 1940s,

492
00:20:31,871 --> 00:20:32,905
it was most commonly a man's name.

493
00:20:33,006 --> 00:20:34,107
Oh, wow. Such a great story.

494
00:20:34,207 --> 00:20:36,809
So it's an old man's name then?

495
00:20:36,909 --> 00:20:38,211
-I don't like you. -Well, lucky for you,

496
00:20:38,311 --> 00:20:39,945
you won't have to see me after today.

497
00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:41,914
Good. This feature goes live tomorrow.

498
00:20:42,015 --> 00:20:42,882
Check all the grammar.

499
00:20:42,982 --> 00:20:44,017
If there's any errors, it's on you.

500
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:45,785
Hey, hey, hey. Unofficial, official.

501
00:20:45,885 --> 00:20:47,053
Mr. McDumack.

502
00:20:47,153 --> 00:20:48,988
Okay, cool. Whatever.

503
00:20:49,089 --> 00:20:51,524
Is Spread just a porno site and magazine?

504
00:20:51,624 --> 00:20:53,159
Excuse me? No, Spread is

505
00:20:53,259 --> 00:20:55,728
the longest-running pornography website magazine.

506
00:20:55,828 --> 00:20:57,930
Do people even read magazines anymore?

507
00:20:58,031 --> 00:20:59,199
Do you guys have an app?

508
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,700
I feel like everybody watches porn on their phone.

509
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,736
I mean, I would watch porn on my phone if I watched porn.

510
00:21:03,836 --> 00:21:05,038
Yeah, ‘cause that's what people want,

511
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:07,040
a porno app on their phone when they're showing pictures

512
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,109
of their family vacation to their coworkers.

513
00:21:09,209 --> 00:21:11,377
RUBY: Well, obviously it shouldn't look like a porno app.

514
00:21:11,477 --> 00:21:13,779
It should look like a-- a navigation app or something

515
00:21:13,879 --> 00:21:15,215
and be password-protected.

516
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,616
Are you guys on social media?

517
00:21:16,716 --> 00:21:18,351
How's your TikTok?

518
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,819
Instagram?

519
00:21:19,919 --> 00:21:21,587
Twitter?

520
00:21:21,687 --> 00:21:22,722
Yikes.

521
00:21:22,822 --> 00:21:24,157
I just feel like an app

522
00:21:24,257 --> 00:21:25,691
and some good social media presence

523
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:27,327
could really turn this place around.

524
00:21:27,427 --> 00:21:30,530
Listen, temp, okay, whatever your name is.

525
00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:31,631
Ruby.

526
00:21:31,731 --> 00:21:33,166
You're being pretty disrespectful to me right now.

527
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:36,002
And If Mr. Ferretti heard you, wouldn't go over so well.

528
00:21:36,102 --> 00:21:37,570
Mr. Ferretti did hear you.

529
00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:39,172
I'm really sorry you had to hear that, sir.

530
00:21:39,272 --> 00:21:41,074
I was actually just going to fire her, so.

531
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:44,777
Dry cleaning, post office, and a car wash.

532
00:21:44,877 --> 00:21:47,013
And no game stop field trips.

533
00:21:47,113 --> 00:21:48,414
I know what the odometer reads.

534
00:21:48,514 --> 00:21:50,383
Sir. It's-- it's pizza taco day.

535
00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:52,452
Sir, I'm so sorry if I offended you.

536
00:21:52,552 --> 00:21:53,953
I really have no idea what I'm talking about.

537
00:21:54,054 --> 00:21:55,455
It's true, sir. She doesn't know anything.

538
00:21:55,555 --> 00:21:57,090
You sound like you do.

539
00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:58,891
So go ahead and do it.

540
00:21:58,991 --> 00:22:00,726
-Do what? -Make Spread an app.

541
00:22:00,826 --> 00:22:02,895
-What? -Oh, no, no, sir.

542
00:22:02,995 --> 00:22:04,397
I'm-- I'm just here for the one day

543
00:22:04,497 --> 00:22:06,832
and I don't really have a tech background to do that.

544
00:22:06,932 --> 00:22:07,967
Well, then you're just

545
00:22:08,068 --> 00:22:09,735
gonna have to work here for more than a day.

546
00:22:09,835 --> 00:22:12,038
Nelson will help with the tech.

547
00:22:12,138 --> 00:22:13,873
Put together a pitch, you have a week.

548
00:22:13,973 --> 00:22:15,775
Uh, uh, uh, sir,

549
00:22:15,875 --> 00:22:16,942
I just really think if anybody should

550
00:22:17,043 --> 00:22:19,145
be making the app, it should be me.

551
00:22:19,245 --> 00:22:21,347
You know, not some girl temp.

552
00:22:21,447 --> 00:22:23,749
Then who will do my errands?

553
00:22:23,849 --> 00:22:24,884
(KEYS JINGLES)

554
00:22:24,984 --> 00:22:26,619
Chop-chop.

555
00:22:26,719 --> 00:22:35,428
(♪♪♪)

556
00:22:35,528 --> 00:22:39,965
♪ Hey, hey, shorty, you gotta pay attention ♪

557
00:22:40,066 --> 00:22:43,603
♪ And even try when you do

558
00:22:44,637 --> 00:22:46,906
(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

559
00:22:47,007 --> 00:22:47,940
Yeah, I get it.

560
00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:50,010
But no, no way.

561
00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:52,278
I can't work there, I'm a feminist.

562
00:22:52,378 --> 00:22:54,380
What does being a feminist have to do with it?

563
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,815
Well, I don't know, because, you know--

564
00:22:55,915 --> 00:22:57,350
thank you. Spread is disgusting.

565
00:22:57,450 --> 00:22:59,952
-Uh-huh. -It's a bunch of women

566
00:23:00,053 --> 00:23:02,355
being dominated and degraded by men.

567
00:23:02,455 --> 00:23:04,490
-It's horrible. -I look at Spread sometimes.

568
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:05,958
I'm sorry, what?

569
00:23:06,059 --> 00:23:07,493
Yeah.

570
00:23:07,593 --> 00:23:09,395
I mean, it's not the best porn, but what kind of psychopath

571
00:23:09,495 --> 00:23:11,064
spends time looking for the best porn?

572
00:23:11,164 --> 00:23:12,265
Wow, okay.

573
00:23:12,365 --> 00:23:14,367
You need experience on your resume.

574
00:23:14,467 --> 00:23:16,336
I do, but I'm not sure how many doors

575
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:18,671
chief dildo organizer will open.

576
00:23:18,771 --> 00:23:19,805
Start with the app.

577
00:23:19,905 --> 00:23:20,940
I don't know how to make an app.

578
00:23:21,041 --> 00:23:22,775
Just research and delegate

579
00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:24,010
like when you were class president.

580
00:23:24,110 --> 00:23:25,845
No, no, I don't want to research porn

581
00:23:25,945 --> 00:23:26,912
and I definitely don't want to

582
00:23:27,013 --> 00:23:28,481
encourage other people to watch it.

583
00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:31,151
You know, everyone with a phone has access to porn.

584
00:23:31,251 --> 00:23:33,453
You can't stop people from watching it,

585
00:23:33,553 --> 00:23:36,322
but you can make the porn that you want to watch.

586
00:23:36,422 --> 00:23:38,524
Change the porn industry from the inside out.

587
00:23:38,624 --> 00:23:40,660
Now that's feminist.

588
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,462
This is coming from the preschool teacher.

589
00:23:42,562 --> 00:23:44,064
I also can't afford to cover your rent.

590
00:23:44,164 --> 00:23:46,032
Oh, okay. Fair enough.

591
00:23:46,132 --> 00:23:47,100
(CHEERS)

592
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:53,073
(♪♪♪)

593
00:23:53,173 --> 00:23:54,307
♪ Tell me your fears

594
00:23:54,407 --> 00:23:55,375
♪ Okay, it's everyone here

595
00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:56,976
(BLOWS)

596
00:23:57,077 --> 00:23:58,511
♪ And all of their pets

597
00:23:58,611 --> 00:24:02,682
♪ And the chandeliers and the cigarettes ♪

598
00:24:02,782 --> 00:24:04,884
♪ I am smoking here

599
00:24:07,687 --> 00:24:08,888
(SIGHS)

600
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:12,692
♪ I can understand the sound

601
00:24:12,792 --> 00:24:14,394
♪ Oh, oh

602
00:24:14,494 --> 00:24:16,729
♪ I can understand the taste

603
00:24:16,829 --> 00:24:18,498
♪ Oh, oh

604
00:24:18,598 --> 00:24:22,435
♪ I can understand the smell of it all ♪

605
00:24:25,805 --> 00:24:26,572
(CLICKING MOUSE)

606
00:24:26,672 --> 00:24:28,908
Why?

607
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:29,842
Aren't you supposed to be

608
00:24:29,942 --> 00:24:31,611
at your big fancy Sophisticate job?

609
00:24:31,711 --> 00:24:33,979
Yeah. Well, they said I can start whenever I want.

610
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,149
-Right. -Right, right.

611
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:39,519
(LEXI HUMMING)

612
00:24:40,853 --> 00:24:42,588
Hi. Oh my God, a girl!

613
00:24:42,688 --> 00:24:44,324
How cute!

614
00:24:44,424 --> 00:24:45,791
You're a little hottie.

615
00:24:45,891 --> 00:24:47,160
Oh, okay. Thank you.

616
00:24:47,260 --> 00:24:48,761
You're welcome.

617
00:24:48,861 --> 00:24:50,296
I heard that nerds like to be called “hotties”,

618
00:24:50,396 --> 00:24:52,498
because it helps them feel more revelant.

619
00:24:52,598 --> 00:24:54,767
-Hi. -Relevant I think is the word.

620
00:24:54,867 --> 00:24:57,570
Anyways, I just came to show off my new tattoo.

621
00:24:57,670 --> 00:25:00,006
It's an arrow pointing down to my cute little pussy.

622
00:25:00,106 --> 00:25:01,207
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, please.

623
00:25:01,307 --> 00:25:02,075
-Are you sure? -I don't need to see it,

624
00:25:02,175 --> 00:25:03,309
keep your clothes on. Yeah.

625
00:25:03,409 --> 00:25:04,110
Thank you, thank you for offering.

626
00:25:04,210 --> 00:25:05,578
Very sweet, very kind of you.

627
00:25:05,678 --> 00:25:07,413
Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

628
00:25:07,513 --> 00:25:09,615
This whole place, it can take a minute.

629
00:25:09,715 --> 00:25:11,717
-Yeah. -You're gonna love it here.

630
00:25:11,817 --> 00:25:12,285
Oh, yeah, sure.

631
00:25:12,385 --> 00:25:13,486
(BOTH LAUGHS)

632
00:25:13,586 --> 00:25:14,720
It's funny.

633
00:25:22,095 --> 00:25:23,296
There you are.

634
00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:25,398
Do you think maybe we could put a bell on you?

635
00:25:25,498 --> 00:25:27,900
I was the Los Alamos Hide and Seek World Champion

636
00:25:28,001 --> 00:25:28,968
three years running.

637
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,036
That's a thing?

638
00:25:30,136 --> 00:25:32,138
I could find you anywhere.

639
00:25:32,238 --> 00:25:34,840
Well, right now I'm just sitting at my desk.

640
00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:36,976
So, no real skill required.

641
00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:39,045
So, um, what do you do here anyway?

642
00:25:39,145 --> 00:25:41,081
I.T.

643
00:25:41,181 --> 00:25:42,548
But I can code.

644
00:25:42,648 --> 00:25:43,716
Oh, okay.

645
00:25:43,816 --> 00:25:45,018
Well, it sounds like

646
00:25:45,118 --> 00:25:47,487
you and I will be working together then.

647
00:25:50,223 --> 00:25:52,058
What's wrong? Are you okay?

648
00:25:52,158 --> 00:25:53,759
Why are you crying?

649
00:25:53,859 --> 00:25:55,495
Just so happy.

650
00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:56,162
Oh.

651
00:25:56,262 --> 00:25:58,031
(CRIES)

652
00:25:58,131 --> 00:26:00,866
(FILING NAILS)

653
00:26:00,966 --> 00:26:02,535
Am I interrupting something?

654
00:26:02,635 --> 00:26:04,237
Well, yeah.

655
00:26:04,337 --> 00:26:06,139
The Analingus Part Three isn't gonna sell itself.

656
00:26:06,239 --> 00:26:07,840
Oh, isn't it, though?

657
00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:08,974
(SCOFFS) What do you want?

658
00:26:09,075 --> 00:26:10,710
I'm just curious what an art director

659
00:26:10,810 --> 00:26:12,278
for a porno site does.

660
00:26:12,378 --> 00:26:13,446
You really want to know?

661
00:26:13,546 --> 00:26:15,381
No, I just came here for the manicures.

662
00:26:15,481 --> 00:26:19,119
I'm responsible for the visual style and images.

663
00:26:19,219 --> 00:26:20,586
I help with the artwork, and layout,

664
00:26:20,686 --> 00:26:21,987
and I create the overall design.

665
00:26:22,088 --> 00:26:25,525
Hm. But what does that mean in the context of Spread?

666
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,160
Well, come here, take a look.

667
00:26:27,260 --> 00:26:29,695
I don't want to. Okay.

668
00:26:31,964 --> 00:26:33,833
Oh, wow.

669
00:26:33,933 --> 00:26:35,068
You ready for this?

670
00:26:35,168 --> 00:26:36,102
Sure.

671
00:26:36,202 --> 00:26:37,703
-Alright, here we go. -(PRESS KEY)

672
00:26:37,803 --> 00:26:39,305
This is what I've been working on.

673
00:26:39,405 --> 00:26:40,740
Step-Daughter Orgy.

674
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,908
-How festive. -Isn't it, though?

675
00:26:43,009 --> 00:26:46,512
The color scheme, composition, layout, et cetera.

676
00:26:46,612 --> 00:26:48,314
I'm in charge of all that.

677
00:26:48,414 --> 00:26:49,749
That's a pretty big job.

678
00:26:49,849 --> 00:26:51,484
Yeah, I'm hot shit.

679
00:26:51,584 --> 00:26:54,587
(CHUCKLES) In the incestuous orgy world maybe.

680
00:26:54,687 --> 00:26:56,689
So how did you end up here anyway?

681
00:26:56,789 --> 00:27:00,226
Well, look, this place clearly isn't great,

682
00:27:00,326 --> 00:27:01,327
but it's also not forever.

683
00:27:01,427 --> 00:27:02,962
Readership is plummeting.

684
00:27:03,063 --> 00:27:04,397
And while the ship is sinking,

685
00:27:04,497 --> 00:27:06,832
I'm enjoying complete creative control.

686
00:27:06,932 --> 00:27:09,735
No one lording over my layout designs or asking me

687
00:27:09,835 --> 00:27:12,305
to use shitty Comic Sans or Times New Roman.

688
00:27:12,405 --> 00:27:13,973
I'm sorry, was that a font joke?

689
00:27:14,074 --> 00:27:15,175
No, I never joke about fonts.

690
00:27:15,275 --> 00:27:17,077
(LAUGHS)

691
00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:18,511
Enough show and tell.

692
00:27:18,611 --> 00:27:20,380
You better get back to your digital strategy,

693
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,584
because I hear Forever 21 is having a hiring freeze.

694
00:27:24,684 --> 00:27:25,785
Ooh, okay.

695
00:27:25,885 --> 00:27:28,121
Well, I will let you get back to your beauty routine.

696
00:27:28,221 --> 00:27:31,424
Although, I would recommend backing off the tweezing.

697
00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:32,892
They're getting a bit thin.

698
00:27:32,992 --> 00:27:34,494
Uh, bye now.

699
00:27:34,594 --> 00:27:35,828
Bye.

700
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,102
She don't know what she talking about.

701
00:27:43,436 --> 00:27:45,338
FERRETTI: I have a theme for the next issue.

702
00:27:45,438 --> 00:27:47,407
Foot fetishes.

703
00:27:47,507 --> 00:27:49,275
We haven't had a good old fashioned

704
00:27:49,375 --> 00:27:52,778
foot fetish feature since August of 2009.

705
00:27:52,878 --> 00:27:55,781
Personally, feet scare the bejesus out of me.

706
00:27:55,881 --> 00:27:58,584
But a lot of men like them, so what the hell?

707
00:27:58,684 --> 00:28:00,986
Who wants to pitch me an idea about foot fetishes?

708
00:28:01,087 --> 00:28:03,489
No idea is a bad idea.

709
00:28:03,589 --> 00:28:04,524
Chicks getting naughty pedicures.

710
00:28:04,624 --> 00:28:06,326
(CLEARS THROAT) What?

711
00:28:06,426 --> 00:28:08,394
Uh, chicks getting naughty pedicures.

712
00:28:08,494 --> 00:28:11,431
That's a terrible fucking stupid idea.

713
00:28:11,531 --> 00:28:12,898
Obviously, they'd have the drugs out. (CHUCKLES)

714
00:28:12,998 --> 00:28:15,435
We can do a cross promotion with Vajankles.

715
00:28:15,535 --> 00:28:16,469
Get some mad dollars from them.

716
00:28:16,569 --> 00:28:18,571
Vajankles, that's perfect.

717
00:28:18,671 --> 00:28:20,406
Thomas, set up a photo shoot.

718
00:28:20,506 --> 00:28:22,375
A Vajankle is a rubber foot,

719
00:28:22,475 --> 00:28:25,411
but where the ankle should be, there's a vagina.

720
00:28:25,511 --> 00:28:27,147
It's surprisingly lifelike.

721
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,149
Hank, what are readers telling us?

722
00:28:29,249 --> 00:28:32,252
I'm getting a lot of questions about our new terminology.

723
00:28:32,352 --> 00:28:33,486
They can't keep up.

724
00:28:33,586 --> 00:28:37,057
Bone-zone, landsharks, handcestors.

725
00:28:37,157 --> 00:28:39,959
Handcestors are all the ancestors never born

726
00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:41,327
due to male masturbation.

727
00:28:41,427 --> 00:28:42,528
Analingus.

728
00:28:42,628 --> 00:28:44,630
-Analingus -I know that one.

729
00:28:44,730 --> 00:28:46,199
Kentucky tractor puller.

730
00:28:46,299 --> 00:28:47,400
(SIGHS)

731
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,102
-Okay, what is it? -The act of running around

732
00:28:49,202 --> 00:28:51,204
a room while engaged in anal sex.

733
00:28:51,304 --> 00:28:52,305
The unicorn.

734
00:28:52,405 --> 00:28:54,474
Ejaculating into long hair and then--

735
00:28:54,574 --> 00:28:56,342
-That's just stupid. -Skittles harvest.

736
00:28:56,442 --> 00:28:58,144
A man consumes enough Skittles--

737
00:28:58,244 --> 00:28:59,579
Okay, enough!

738
00:28:59,679 --> 00:29:01,114
Well, there's something for everyone.

739
00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:05,751
Leslie, how about you head up our new terminology department?

740
00:29:05,851 --> 00:29:08,688
Like a constantly-evolving sex dictionary.

741
00:29:08,788 --> 00:29:10,923
Uh, can I get another assignment?

742
00:29:11,024 --> 00:29:12,758
Because that kind of sounds like secretary work.

743
00:29:12,858 --> 00:29:14,794
-No, no. -I actually have this--

744
00:29:14,894 --> 00:29:16,762
this badass feature idea about wind surfing

745
00:29:16,862 --> 00:29:19,565
-that I fucking love. -No. Sex dictionary.

746
00:29:19,665 --> 00:29:22,035
You'll be our little Merriam Webster.

747
00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:22,935
Merriam?

748
00:29:23,036 --> 00:29:25,571
That's-- that's totally a chick's name.

749
00:29:25,671 --> 00:29:26,606
Well, you do have a girl's name, so.

750
00:29:26,706 --> 00:29:28,041
Eat dick, bro-hard.

751
00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:29,542
It's unbelievable.

752
00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:33,013
Out of a 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest one.

753
00:29:33,113 --> 00:29:34,714
(LAUGHS)

754
00:29:34,814 --> 00:29:36,616
You too fucking already or what?

755
00:29:37,217 --> 00:29:38,218
(TOGETHER) No.

756
00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:39,585
-Uh, new girl. -Hmm.

757
00:29:39,685 --> 00:29:42,355
How is your pitch coming for the whole app-a-majig?

758
00:29:42,455 --> 00:29:43,356
It's pretty good.

759
00:29:43,456 --> 00:29:44,457
I mean, right now we're just trying to

760
00:29:44,557 --> 00:29:46,092
nail down the user interface.

761
00:29:46,192 --> 00:29:48,028
Well, sounds like the future.

762
00:29:48,128 --> 00:29:50,263
Actually, I'm just trying to catch us up to the present.

763
00:29:50,363 --> 00:29:51,431
Right.

764
00:29:51,531 --> 00:29:53,299
Anyway, we have half an hour to brainstorm

765
00:29:53,399 --> 00:29:55,901
all the ways we can highlight Vajankles.

766
00:29:56,002 --> 00:29:56,869
Then lunchtime.

767
00:29:56,969 --> 00:29:58,538
NELSON: It's soup taco day.

768
00:30:01,041 --> 00:30:02,142
Get a napkin.

769
00:30:02,242 --> 00:30:06,146
(TYPING)

770
00:30:06,246 --> 00:30:15,188
(♪♪♪)

771
00:30:15,288 --> 00:30:16,522
I love the way you text.

772
00:30:16,622 --> 00:30:17,990
Personal space, Nelson.

773
00:30:18,091 --> 00:30:20,760
-We should work on the app. -Okay.

774
00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:24,664
Yo, girl temp and uh, nerd, find it really hard to believe

775
00:30:24,764 --> 00:30:26,732
you know what you're doing. Did you even go to college?

776
00:30:26,832 --> 00:30:29,135
I graduated with honors from UC Berkeley.

777
00:30:29,235 --> 00:30:30,236
Great.

778
00:30:30,336 --> 00:30:32,238
So what are you, like some sort of hippie feminist?

779
00:30:32,338 --> 00:30:33,639
(CHUCKLES)

780
00:30:33,739 --> 00:30:34,440
You know what happened to the last girl that worked there?

781
00:30:34,540 --> 00:30:36,476
You mean the girl that got shot?

782
00:30:36,576 --> 00:30:38,411
She got shot? Where?

783
00:30:38,511 --> 00:30:41,447
-In the head. -In the head.

784
00:30:41,547 --> 00:30:42,615
Well, she probably fucking deserved it.

785
00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:44,617
Nelson, you're with me. I'm starving, let's go.

786
00:30:47,053 --> 00:30:49,189
-Nelson! -Okay.

787
00:30:49,289 --> 00:30:50,590
(SIGHS)

788
00:30:50,690 --> 00:30:55,928
(♪♪♪)

789
00:30:56,029 --> 00:30:57,130
RUBY: Hank?

790
00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:59,165
No one's here.

791
00:30:59,265 --> 00:30:59,965
Well, I was just hoping

792
00:31:00,066 --> 00:31:01,701
I could talk to you for a second.

793
00:31:02,935 --> 00:31:03,869
Okay, shoot.

794
00:31:03,969 --> 00:31:06,672
I'm trying to tie in social media with the app,

795
00:31:06,772 --> 00:31:09,342
and I was wondering if you ever use social media

796
00:31:09,442 --> 00:31:11,977
for Pussy Quest.

797
00:31:12,812 --> 00:31:14,280
What do you think?

798
00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:15,715
Probably not.

799
00:31:15,815 --> 00:31:19,585
But if it's okay with you, I was thinking I could set up

800
00:31:19,685 --> 00:31:22,822
Pussy Quest accounts on all the major socials,

801
00:31:22,922 --> 00:31:26,126
and it could really drive some serious traffic to your page.

802
00:31:26,226 --> 00:31:28,661
If that's something you'd be interested in.

803
00:31:28,761 --> 00:31:30,130
Okay, sure. Go ahead.

804
00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:30,996
Cool, great.

805
00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:32,798
Well, then I'll draft up some mock accounts

806
00:31:32,898 --> 00:31:35,301
and I'll run them by you.

807
00:31:37,037 --> 00:31:38,704
Hey, do you need help reading that?

808
00:31:38,804 --> 00:31:39,939
-Nope. -What is that?

809
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,041
Is that fan mail?

810
00:31:41,141 --> 00:31:43,476
Nah, some of it.

811
00:31:43,576 --> 00:31:45,311
Most of it's just incoherent ramblings

812
00:31:45,411 --> 00:31:46,879
of crazy men.

813
00:31:46,979 --> 00:31:48,948
-Letters to the editor. -Hm.

814
00:31:49,049 --> 00:31:51,951
I try to respond to the ones that make sense,

815
00:31:52,052 --> 00:31:55,255
publish a few, and just toss the rest away.

816
00:31:55,355 --> 00:31:56,222
What do they say?

817
00:31:56,322 --> 00:31:57,723
Depends.

818
00:31:57,823 --> 00:31:59,392
Most of these guys are in prison

819
00:31:59,492 --> 00:32:02,362
or stationed on some military base.

820
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:06,066
They're typically writing back to a specific woman.

821
00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:07,667
Or they're nuts.

822
00:32:07,767 --> 00:32:10,336
The rest are just too backwards to understand

823
00:32:10,436 --> 00:32:12,572
how to make the internet work.

824
00:32:12,672 --> 00:32:15,075
Overall,

825
00:32:15,175 --> 00:32:19,079
just a bunch of ignorant lonely dudes.

826
00:32:20,313 --> 00:32:22,115
Well, it sounds kind of sad.

827
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:27,087
Does this sound sad to you?

828
00:32:27,187 --> 00:32:30,256
“Dear Shannon, I want to slap my dick

829
00:32:30,356 --> 00:32:34,227
on your forehead while you finger yourself.”

830
00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:35,828
No, that sounds straightforward.

831
00:32:35,928 --> 00:32:37,897
Moral of the story here is,

832
00:32:37,997 --> 00:32:41,667
there are not a bunch of thinkers in our fan base.

833
00:32:41,767 --> 00:32:43,236
So you might want to keep that in mind

834
00:32:43,336 --> 00:32:45,771
when you're building this little app thingy.

835
00:32:45,871 --> 00:32:47,907
Don't make it too complicated.

836
00:32:48,008 --> 00:32:50,043
That's good advice. Thank you, Hank.

837
00:32:50,143 --> 00:32:51,877
Yeah, hey,

838
00:32:51,977 --> 00:32:54,780
don't let those shit-for-brains out there rattle you.

839
00:32:56,149 --> 00:32:57,183
Stay strong.

840
00:33:00,353 --> 00:33:02,522
(CHUCKLES)

841
00:33:02,622 --> 00:33:03,789
PRUDENCE: Xtasy's here!

842
00:33:03,889 --> 00:33:05,125
Xtasy, it's so wonderful to see you.

843
00:33:05,225 --> 00:33:05,625
XTASY: Oh.

844
00:33:05,725 --> 00:33:06,659
(SMOOCHES)

845
00:33:06,759 --> 00:33:08,628
Does Postmates deliver ecstasy now?

846
00:33:08,728 --> 00:33:10,796
-Not this Xtasy. -What does that mean?

847
00:33:10,896 --> 00:33:12,632
You're gonna learn today.

848
00:33:12,732 --> 00:33:13,533
Oh, it's the blonde lady.

849
00:33:13,633 --> 00:33:14,767
Got it.

850
00:33:14,867 --> 00:33:17,003
I do hope you have the bubbly waiting for me.

851
00:33:17,103 --> 00:33:19,039
Of course.

852
00:33:19,139 --> 00:33:21,807
Oh, is this another one of your little rescues?

853
00:33:21,907 --> 00:33:23,709
Right, we have a new girl.

854
00:33:23,809 --> 00:33:25,711
Huh, did you make a wrong turn?

855
00:33:25,811 --> 00:33:27,513
Accounting is on the first floor.

856
00:33:27,613 --> 00:33:28,981
(FERRETTI CHCUKLES)

857
00:33:29,082 --> 00:33:30,816
Ruby, I'd like you to meet Xtasy.

858
00:33:30,916 --> 00:33:32,885
She's a very famous agent.

859
00:33:32,985 --> 00:33:36,222
Oh, well, you must be so proud of your girls.

860
00:33:36,322 --> 00:33:37,790
What was that?

861
00:33:37,890 --> 00:33:38,958
You must be so proud of--

862
00:33:39,059 --> 00:33:40,193
Ruby, come with us to set

863
00:33:40,293 --> 00:33:42,762
for a behind-the-scenes experience.

864
00:33:42,862 --> 00:33:44,297
I would, but I just have so much work to do.

865
00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:46,599
-Chop-chop. -Okay, yeah.

866
00:33:46,699 --> 00:33:47,800
♪ A-yai, yai, yai

867
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:50,403
♪ Let the money show up looking like that ♪

868
00:33:50,503 --> 00:33:51,537
♪ A-yai, yai, yai

869
00:33:51,637 --> 00:33:53,206
♪ Every time I look at you, you make me wanna clap ♪

870
00:33:53,306 --> 00:33:54,574
XTASY: Okay.

871
00:33:54,674 --> 00:33:56,709
Great. Let's get started.

872
00:33:56,809 --> 00:33:59,812
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

873
00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:01,681
And as you know, this is part three

874
00:34:01,781 --> 00:34:05,718
of our esteemed series, Analingus.

875
00:34:05,818 --> 00:34:08,221
So really go for it, girls.

876
00:34:10,190 --> 00:34:11,257
(CLICKS PICTURES)

877
00:34:11,357 --> 00:34:13,626
♪ Every time I look at you, you make me wanna clap ♪

878
00:34:13,726 --> 00:34:15,195
♪ A-yai, yai, yai

879
00:34:16,462 --> 00:34:18,631
♪ You make me wanna clap, a-yai, yai, yai ♪

880
00:34:18,731 --> 00:34:19,832
XTASY: Alright, girls, let's get to it.

881
00:34:19,932 --> 00:34:22,168
I've got a 4:00 cryogenic session.

882
00:34:22,268 --> 00:34:24,870
Lexi's ass isn't going to eat itself.

883
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:28,508
Oh, no, wow.

884
00:34:29,709 --> 00:34:31,244
You okay over there?

885
00:34:31,344 --> 00:34:32,512
Oh, yeah, yeah.

886
00:34:32,612 --> 00:34:34,314
I'm uh-- I'm doing great.

887
00:34:34,414 --> 00:34:36,816
Sugar, I'm just gonna come out and say it

888
00:34:36,916 --> 00:34:38,818
I think you're better suited for a job where you--

889
00:34:38,918 --> 00:34:42,222
I don't know, make soap or fold cardigans.

890
00:34:42,322 --> 00:34:46,492
Uh-huh. Well, that's your opinion.

891
00:34:46,592 --> 00:34:47,627
And it's a pretty good one, too.

892
00:34:47,727 --> 00:34:49,629
Ladies, you're killing the mood.

893
00:34:49,729 --> 00:34:50,730
Oh, I'm sorry.

894
00:34:50,830 --> 00:34:53,133
Are we disturbing the master at work?

895
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:55,801
Okay, girls, come on. Let's get to it.

896
00:34:55,901 --> 00:35:00,440
(GIRLS MOANING, CHUCKLES)

897
00:35:02,742 --> 00:35:05,378
Yippee-ki-yay, yippee-ki-yay.

898
00:35:05,478 --> 00:35:06,679
(MOUTHS) When is it over?

899
00:35:06,779 --> 00:35:08,314
♪ Hey, hey, hey

900
00:35:08,414 --> 00:35:10,883
Oh, yeah.

901
00:35:10,983 --> 00:35:15,088
To all my wonderful people, another great shoot.

902
00:35:15,188 --> 00:35:15,621
Absolutely!

903
00:35:15,721 --> 00:35:17,857
(CHEER)

904
00:35:21,594 --> 00:35:22,662
Hey, hottie.

905
00:35:22,762 --> 00:35:24,897
Oh, hi. Hi, Lexi.

906
00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:27,500
You look like you didn't have any fun today.

907
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,069
Oh, no, no, I did. I did.

908
00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:30,603
It's-- you know, I learned a lot.

909
00:35:30,703 --> 00:35:31,871
Oh, good.

910
00:35:31,971 --> 00:35:35,408
It's just, uh, is Xtasy kind of--

911
00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:36,476
-A bitch? -Yeah.

912
00:35:36,576 --> 00:35:37,443
Yeah, she can be.

913
00:35:37,543 --> 00:35:40,580
But I mean, she's better than the male agents.

914
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,048
She gets it at least.

915
00:35:42,148 --> 00:35:44,217
You know, she used to be talent, so she knows how to protect us.

916
00:35:44,317 --> 00:35:45,851
Wait, Xtasy used to be on camera?

917
00:35:45,951 --> 00:35:47,420
-Mm-hmm. -Wow.

918
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,588
Well, that's interesting.

919
00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:52,425
Speaking of, how did you, you know, get into pornography?

920
00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:53,893
(CHOKES)

921
00:35:53,993 --> 00:35:55,161
Pornography?

922
00:35:55,261 --> 00:35:56,662
(CHUCKLES)

923
00:35:56,762 --> 00:35:58,498
Babe, you're so cute.

924
00:35:58,598 --> 00:36:01,467
Um, I just really like sex.

925
00:36:01,567 --> 00:36:03,036
-Oh. -And attention.

926
00:36:03,136 --> 00:36:04,937
And no, my dad didn't touch me.

927
00:36:05,038 --> 00:36:05,771
Oh, I didn't think--

928
00:36:05,871 --> 00:36:07,007
Oh, everyone always thinks that.

929
00:36:07,107 --> 00:36:08,041
I mean, of course there's girls

930
00:36:08,141 --> 00:36:09,609
in porn, because their creepy uncle

931
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,178
perved out on them, but not me.

932
00:36:12,278 --> 00:36:14,080
I get off on people watching.

933
00:36:14,180 --> 00:36:15,081
Hmm.

934
00:36:15,181 --> 00:36:16,582
And I'm hot as fuck, so why would I waste that

935
00:36:16,682 --> 00:36:17,917
sitting in an office all day?

936
00:36:18,018 --> 00:36:21,054
Yeah, no, that actually makes a lot of sense.

937
00:36:21,154 --> 00:36:23,089
And you're-- you're very hot.

938
00:36:23,189 --> 00:36:24,024
Thanks.

939
00:36:24,124 --> 00:36:26,459
Have you ever considered it?

940
00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:27,527
Consider what?

941
00:36:27,627 --> 00:36:29,295
Pornography.

942
00:36:29,395 --> 00:36:30,563
No, fuck no.

943
00:36:30,663 --> 00:36:34,867
I mean, not no, it's just that-- I mean, not you know, fuck no,

944
00:36:34,967 --> 00:36:36,269
just not for me.

945
00:36:36,369 --> 00:36:37,003
It's not my thing.

946
00:36:37,103 --> 00:36:38,404
But you're very, very good at it.

947
00:36:38,504 --> 00:36:40,273
Ah, I get it.

948
00:36:40,373 --> 00:36:42,875
You are one of those behind-the-scene types.

949
00:36:42,975 --> 00:36:44,244
No, actually, I'm only doing this temporarily.

950
00:36:44,344 --> 00:36:45,945
(PHONE RINGING)

951
00:36:46,046 --> 00:36:49,215
Uh, sorry, I just-- I have to get this.

952
00:36:49,315 --> 00:36:50,316
It's my husband.

953
00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:51,284
Oh.

954
00:36:51,384 --> 00:36:53,219
Hi, baby.

955
00:36:53,319 --> 00:36:54,454
He's still up?

956
00:36:54,554 --> 00:36:56,322
Well, put him on.

957
00:36:56,422 --> 00:36:57,890
Hello, my big man.

958
00:36:57,990 --> 00:36:59,459
Mommy loves you.

959
00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:02,362
What just happened?

960
00:37:02,462 --> 00:37:05,565
Your entire feminist construct implode?

961
00:37:05,665 --> 00:37:07,533
Look at you. Such big words.

962
00:37:07,633 --> 00:37:08,934
And very funny coming

963
00:37:09,035 --> 00:37:10,670
from the guy who has an up-to-date album

964
00:37:10,770 --> 00:37:12,538
of shirtless photos on Instagram.

965
00:37:12,638 --> 00:37:14,074
Diving deep in my socials, huh?

966
00:37:14,174 --> 00:37:15,675
Well, it's kind of my job right now.

967
00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:17,143
Instagram-stalking me is your job?

968
00:37:17,243 --> 00:37:18,911
I'm not just stalking you, I looked up everybody.

969
00:37:19,012 --> 00:37:20,513
-Calm down. -Sure you did.

970
00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:22,682
-You're so cocky. -You're so high maintenance.

971
00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:23,849
-I'm high maintenance? -Yeah.

972
00:37:23,949 --> 00:37:25,651
Says the man with a monthly subscription

973
00:37:25,751 --> 00:37:26,852
to Crest White Strips?

974
00:37:26,952 --> 00:37:28,854
It's cheaper that way. I'm fiscally responsible.

975
00:37:28,954 --> 00:37:30,023
Oh, wow.

976
00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:31,857
Fiscally responsible, what a panty-soaker.

977
00:37:31,957 --> 00:37:32,925
Say it again.

978
00:37:33,026 --> 00:37:34,994
Fiscally responsible.

979
00:37:35,095 --> 00:37:36,862
Ugh, you know, I bet you're

980
00:37:36,962 --> 00:37:38,531
one of those guys that likes to look at himself

981
00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:39,832
in the mirror during sex.

982
00:37:39,932 --> 00:37:41,201
Can you blame me? This shit is tight.

983
00:37:41,301 --> 00:37:42,835
It's okay, I've had better.

984
00:37:42,935 --> 00:37:44,170
-I doubt that. -Oh, you doubt that?

985
00:37:44,270 --> 00:37:47,007
-What, is that your big move? -No.

986
00:37:47,107 --> 00:37:48,608
♪ I'm burning, you're burning me up ♪

987
00:37:48,708 --> 00:37:49,375
♪ Oh

988
00:37:49,475 --> 00:37:50,543
♪ This fire's burning me up

989
00:37:50,643 --> 00:37:51,411
♪ Oh

990
00:37:51,511 --> 00:37:52,745
♪ Girl, everything you been doing ♪

991
00:37:52,845 --> 00:37:53,713
♪ Is turning the temperature up ♪

992
00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,515
That's my big move.

993
00:37:58,518 --> 00:38:00,553
Well, it's not awful.

994
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:01,787
But I still totally hate you.

995
00:38:01,887 --> 00:38:02,888
-I hate you, too. -I hate you more.

996
00:38:02,988 --> 00:38:04,190
(MOANS)

997
00:38:04,290 --> 00:38:05,625
-Are you close? -Yeah.

998
00:38:05,725 --> 00:38:06,892
-Is it happening? -Yes.

999
00:38:06,992 --> 00:38:13,666
(GROANING)

1000
00:38:13,766 --> 00:38:15,035
Oh!

1001
00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:20,440
Okay, ooh.

1002
00:38:29,682 --> 00:38:31,717
What was that?

1003
00:38:31,817 --> 00:38:33,119
What was what?

1004
00:38:33,219 --> 00:38:35,955
That. That was real?

1005
00:38:36,056 --> 00:38:37,323
Yeah.

1006
00:38:37,423 --> 00:38:38,324
(CHUCKLES)

1007
00:38:38,424 --> 00:38:39,692
Okay.

1008
00:38:43,896 --> 00:38:46,299
Whoa! I'm-- I'm-- I'm not criticizing you.

1009
00:38:46,399 --> 00:38:47,867
I just want to make sure you got off.

1010
00:38:47,967 --> 00:38:49,269
Okay. Well, you know what, Thomas?

1011
00:38:49,369 --> 00:38:51,937
It doesn't really matter, because this was a huge mistake

1012
00:38:52,038 --> 00:38:53,573
-and it can never happen again. -What, really?

1013
00:38:53,673 --> 00:38:55,975
Yeah. I'm gonna go.

1014
00:38:56,076 --> 00:38:57,177
Okay.

1015
00:38:58,544 --> 00:38:59,679
(RUBY SIGHS)

1016
00:39:01,814 --> 00:39:04,284
(CHUCKLES)

1017
00:39:08,254 --> 00:39:09,689
What's up, track star?

1018
00:39:09,789 --> 00:39:11,357
Huh? Oh, no.

1019
00:39:11,457 --> 00:39:13,393
Because I bolted. Yes, that's very funny.

1020
00:39:13,493 --> 00:39:16,262
Well, I'm actually very busy too, so I can't talk.

1021
00:39:18,598 --> 00:39:21,901
(TYPING)

1022
00:39:22,002 --> 00:39:31,311
(♪♪♪)

1023
00:39:40,153 --> 00:39:41,121
You're ignoring my texts.

1024
00:39:41,221 --> 00:39:42,688
Dad, dad, what are you doing here?

1025
00:39:42,788 --> 00:39:43,789
This is Spread Magazine.

1026
00:39:43,889 --> 00:39:45,458
You work at Spread.

1027
00:39:45,558 --> 00:39:46,392
This is your job.

1028
00:39:46,492 --> 00:39:48,394
Okay, yes, yes. How did you find me?

1029
00:39:48,494 --> 00:39:50,530
Oh, I didn't realize I'm still paying for your iTunes,

1030
00:39:50,630 --> 00:39:52,365
so all our devices share the same Apple ID.

1031
00:39:52,465 --> 00:39:54,367
-I can see your texts. -Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1032
00:39:54,467 --> 00:39:55,701
You've been reading my texts?

1033
00:39:55,801 --> 00:39:57,870
Well, that's what you get for sponging off your old man.

1034
00:39:57,970 --> 00:40:00,040
“Ugh, I can't believe I'm lying to my parents.”

1035
00:40:00,140 --> 00:40:01,774
That's nice. A little guilt is better than none.

1036
00:40:01,874 --> 00:40:03,809
“I don't think I can do this, Whit, Spread is so disgusting.”

1037
00:40:03,909 --> 00:40:05,078
Dad, stop! Shh!

1038
00:40:05,178 --> 00:40:06,812
“ Spread is so disgusting!”

1039
00:40:06,912 --> 00:40:08,181
Well, this is a good one, you're gonna like this.

1040
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:10,483
-“I cannot believe I--” -Dad, stop!

1041
00:40:10,583 --> 00:40:11,984
What do you want?

1042
00:40:12,085 --> 00:40:13,219
I just want to take you to lunch.

1043
00:40:13,319 --> 00:40:14,220
Good, let's go to lunch.

1044
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,321
-Okay. -Now.

1045
00:40:15,421 --> 00:40:17,290
That's what I was saying.

1046
00:40:17,390 --> 00:40:19,192
This guy. He's not a plumber.

1047
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:20,493
-He's not a plumber. -Dad, stop please.

1048
00:40:20,593 --> 00:40:22,162
I know that one.

1049
00:40:22,262 --> 00:40:23,196
RUBY: Dad, dad,

1050
00:40:23,296 --> 00:40:24,264
I don't really have a lot of time.

1051
00:40:24,364 --> 00:40:26,532
-I'm on a deadline. -Cool, sounds important.

1052
00:40:26,632 --> 00:40:27,533
Ugh.

1053
00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:31,204
I'm so pumped you're working at Spread.

1054
00:40:31,304 --> 00:40:32,172
It's a dream job.

1055
00:40:32,272 --> 00:40:34,440
Yeah, well, it's not my dream job.

1056
00:40:34,540 --> 00:40:35,275
Oh, shit.

1057
00:40:35,375 --> 00:40:36,776
You're not gonna tell mom, are you?

1058
00:40:36,876 --> 00:40:37,877
No.

1059
00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:40,680
You know, divorced folk really don't gab that much.

1060
00:40:40,780 --> 00:40:42,115
So then what do you want?

1061
00:40:43,549 --> 00:40:44,950
I just want to visit the office.

1062
00:40:45,051 --> 00:40:46,252
Meet Frank Ferretti.

1063
00:40:46,352 --> 00:40:47,287
Find out what you're working on.

1064
00:40:47,387 --> 00:40:48,888
Regular dad stuff.

1065
00:40:48,988 --> 00:40:50,656
-It's gross. -It'll be fun.

1066
00:40:50,756 --> 00:40:51,791
We'll go to lunch.

1067
00:40:51,891 --> 00:40:54,027
You can invite Ferretti and maybe a few of the ladies.

1068
00:40:54,127 --> 00:40:55,161
Yeah, it's very gross.

1069
00:40:55,261 --> 00:40:56,729
We'll spend some quality time together,

1070
00:40:56,829 --> 00:40:57,963
just like you always wanted.

1071
00:40:58,064 --> 00:41:00,933
Dad, I wanted that quality time when I was in elementary school.

1072
00:41:01,034 --> 00:41:02,168
And you were at Big Wang's every night.

1073
00:41:02,268 --> 00:41:03,303
watching the Cubs.

1074
00:41:03,403 --> 00:41:05,071
Listen, sweetie, I'm retired.

1075
00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:06,106
I'm getting older.

1076
00:41:06,206 --> 00:41:07,873
I'm running out of time to meet my idol.

1077
00:41:09,375 --> 00:41:11,111
Come on. The truth is,

1078
00:41:11,211 --> 00:41:13,479
I wish I had been there more for you.

1079
00:41:13,579 --> 00:41:16,182
I just-- I had never felt like a dad, you know?

1080
00:41:16,282 --> 00:41:17,683
Or acted like one.

1081
00:41:19,752 --> 00:41:21,487
I was a shitty dad.

1082
00:41:23,556 --> 00:41:25,491
I'm trying to make up for that now.

1083
00:41:28,461 --> 00:41:31,231
All right. Well, I'm not sure I'd totally buy it, but--

1084
00:41:31,331 --> 00:41:33,166
Okay. All right, yeah, fuck it.

1085
00:41:33,266 --> 00:41:35,901
-Fine, deal, you can come. -Score!

1086
00:41:36,002 --> 00:41:37,037
So what's Frank like in real life?

1087
00:41:37,137 --> 00:41:38,838
Does he crush some serious gash?

1088
00:41:39,972 --> 00:41:42,475
(SIGHS)

1089
00:41:42,575 --> 00:41:43,843
You could--

1090
00:41:43,943 --> 00:41:45,011
I'm just curious, you know?

1091
00:41:45,111 --> 00:41:46,179
It's-- okay.

1092
00:41:46,279 --> 00:41:47,780
See you at the office.

1093
00:41:49,182 --> 00:41:50,650
Spread, she works at Spread.

1094
00:41:52,085 --> 00:41:55,688
My dad found out that I banged a co-worker, and guess what?

1095
00:41:55,788 --> 00:41:57,723
-He's stoked about it. -Your dad's weird.

1096
00:41:57,823 --> 00:41:59,525
RUBY: (ON PHONE) Yeah, still. That place is no bueno.

1097
00:41:59,625 --> 00:42:01,961
Why are we talking on the phone? Are you not home?

1098
00:42:02,062 --> 00:42:03,596
Ben's been so busy with work,

1099
00:42:03,696 --> 00:42:05,798
I thought I'd come up here and surprise him.

1100
00:42:05,898 --> 00:42:06,966
Okay.

1101
00:42:07,067 --> 00:42:09,502
Well, I was gonna surprise you with a sex toy from work,

1102
00:42:09,602 --> 00:42:11,337
but now you're just gonna have to wait until you get back.

1103
00:42:11,437 --> 00:42:14,574
Blush! Um, yeah, okay.

1104
00:42:14,674 --> 00:42:17,810
Actually, why don't you bring home all the sex toys?

1105
00:42:17,910 --> 00:42:19,112
Whoa, tiger.

1106
00:42:19,212 --> 00:42:21,747
WHITNEY: (ON PHONE) Not for me. For the presentation.

1107
00:42:21,847 --> 00:42:25,018
But seriously, you should have a focus group.

1108
00:42:25,118 --> 00:42:28,488
Invite over some ladies, have real conversations about

1109
00:42:28,588 --> 00:42:31,357
sex, porn, toys, what women want

1110
00:42:31,457 --> 00:42:33,493
and don't want.

1111
00:42:33,593 --> 00:42:35,895
I mean, how are you gonna make Spread better

1112
00:42:35,995 --> 00:42:38,164
if you don't know what women want?

1113
00:42:38,264 --> 00:42:39,832
Yeah, I guess I could do that.

1114
00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:40,833
I'll put an ad on Craigslist.

1115
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:43,903
Yeah. And make sure you have lots of wine.

1116
00:42:44,004 --> 00:42:44,904
Oh, absolutely.

1117
00:42:45,005 --> 00:42:45,871
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

1118
00:42:45,971 --> 00:42:49,509
♪ Oh, honey, honey, you set me alight ♪

1119
00:42:49,609 --> 00:42:52,078
♪ Like a summertime sky

1120
00:42:52,178 --> 00:42:54,414
♪ Oh, give it to me

1121
00:42:54,514 --> 00:42:55,581
♪ I'm dropping

1122
00:42:55,681 --> 00:42:56,116
♪ Your love is gonna keep you alive ♪

1123
00:42:56,216 --> 00:42:57,650
(GRUNTS) Okay.

1124
00:42:57,750 --> 00:42:59,119
♪ ‘Cause I'm turned down ♪

1125
00:42:59,219 --> 00:42:59,885
♪ Mr. Fatty

1126
00:42:59,985 --> 00:43:00,720
Well, that's good.

1127
00:43:00,820 --> 00:43:01,554
♪ There's no one left to fight ♪

1128
00:43:01,654 --> 00:43:04,524
♪ Baby, come and beam me up

1129
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:08,161
♪ Oh, honey, honey, I'm under your spell ♪

1130
00:43:08,261 --> 00:43:10,663
♪ And I can get it off

1131
00:43:10,763 --> 00:43:12,232
(WHIRRING)

1132
00:43:12,332 --> 00:43:13,633
There.

1133
00:43:17,270 --> 00:43:19,405
♪ Oh, honey, honey

1134
00:43:19,505 --> 00:43:21,441
♪ You blazing a trail with a future so bright ♪

1135
00:43:21,541 --> 00:43:23,009
-NELSON: How's that? -RUBY: Mm-hmm.

1136
00:43:23,109 --> 00:43:25,378
♪ Oh, give it to me

1137
00:43:25,478 --> 00:43:26,979
♪ I'm ready to go

1138
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:28,581
And here's the presentation.

1139
00:43:28,681 --> 00:43:31,151
♪ ‘Cause it might be destiny ♪

1140
00:43:31,251 --> 00:43:32,352
♪ can't mistake the chemistry

1141
00:43:32,452 --> 00:43:35,521
♪ Baby, when you feel a rush

1142
00:43:35,621 --> 00:43:39,025
♪ Oh, honey, honey, the money's fair ♪

1143
00:43:39,125 --> 00:43:41,761
♪ And I can't enough

1144
00:43:41,861 --> 00:43:42,862
♪ Oh

1145
00:43:42,962 --> 00:43:51,937
(♪♪♪)

1146
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,875
♪ Oh, honey, honey

1147
00:43:59,279 --> 00:44:01,047
Yes. Fuck.

1148
00:44:01,147 --> 00:44:09,422
(♪♪♪)

1149
00:44:12,992 --> 00:44:14,494
Whoo.

1150
00:44:17,030 --> 00:44:18,131
(CHUCKLES)

1151
00:44:18,231 --> 00:44:19,465
Ooh, yeah.

1152
00:44:25,005 --> 00:44:26,839
Fuck you.

1153
00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:30,776
I like a vibrator.

1154
00:44:30,876 --> 00:44:32,378
And I like a dildo.

1155
00:44:32,478 --> 00:44:33,713
But I don't want my dildo to vibrate.

1156
00:44:33,813 --> 00:44:35,781
A dildo that doesn't vibrate is a waste of rubber,

1157
00:44:35,881 --> 00:44:36,649
if you ask me.

1158
00:44:36,749 --> 00:44:38,418
Yeah, I need all the help I can get.

1159
00:44:38,518 --> 00:44:41,321
Vibration, penetration, visual stimulation.

1160
00:44:41,421 --> 00:44:43,789
I've actually never used a vibrator before.

1161
00:44:43,889 --> 00:44:45,491
-Girl. -RUBY: Do you guys watch porn?

1162
00:44:45,591 --> 00:44:46,992
-Of course. -Sometimes.

1163
00:44:47,093 --> 00:44:48,561
Yeah!

1164
00:44:51,531 --> 00:44:53,366
Okay, what kind of porn do you watch?

1165
00:44:53,466 --> 00:44:55,101
-Actually gay porn. -Really?

1166
00:44:55,201 --> 00:44:56,569
That's interesting. Why?

1167
00:44:56,669 --> 00:44:58,471
Because at least it shows off the guy's bodies.

1168
00:44:58,571 --> 00:44:59,739
-Right. -WOMAN 1: Yeah.

1169
00:44:59,839 --> 00:45:01,507
Porn made for straight dudes is just women faking it.

1170
00:45:01,607 --> 00:45:03,409
Yeah, I have only done that.

1171
00:45:03,509 --> 00:45:05,845
What about porn made for women?

1172
00:45:05,945 --> 00:45:06,812
Personally,

1173
00:45:06,912 --> 00:45:08,414
I don't think lady porn is all that great.

1174
00:45:08,514 --> 00:45:10,350
I mean, still a lot of bad lighting

1175
00:45:10,450 --> 00:45:11,951
and lame storylines.

1176
00:45:12,052 --> 00:45:14,587
What kind of porn do you want to watch?

1177
00:45:14,687 --> 00:45:17,423
-Hot guys. Massive cocks. -Yeah.

1178
00:45:17,523 --> 00:45:19,492
And not just, “ Kimmy can't stop squirting!”

1179
00:45:19,592 --> 00:45:20,960
Like equal screen time.

1180
00:45:21,061 --> 00:45:24,064
So we can see the guy's body, not just that one part.

1181
00:45:24,164 --> 00:45:25,065
Less dick.

1182
00:45:25,165 --> 00:45:28,734
What about a single woman's Parisian vacation?

1183
00:45:28,834 --> 00:45:30,570
Now that is hot.

1184
00:45:30,670 --> 00:45:31,671
-Woowee. -(WOMEN LAUGH)

1185
00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:32,805
Jane, that's really good.

1186
00:45:32,905 --> 00:45:34,374
But it has to be discreet though.

1187
00:45:34,474 --> 00:45:35,375
I don't want to see Chicks with Dicks

1188
00:45:35,475 --> 00:45:37,143
on my credit card statement.

1189
00:45:37,243 --> 00:45:39,712
I grabbed it. I thought maybe we could talk about it.

1190
00:45:39,812 --> 00:45:41,714
I-- I don't really know what to think.

1191
00:45:41,814 --> 00:45:43,849
-No? -How do I use this?

1192
00:45:43,949 --> 00:45:44,484
It's bondage tape.

1193
00:45:44,584 --> 00:45:46,819
(WOMEN LAUGH)

1194
00:45:46,919 --> 00:45:49,222
-Yes. -Looks a little bit scary.

1195
00:45:49,322 --> 00:45:50,756
In a pinch, it's good for travel.

1196
00:45:50,856 --> 00:45:53,093
-How is it good for travel? -I can show you.

1197
00:45:53,193 --> 00:45:54,494
Okay. This guy.

1198
00:45:54,594 --> 00:45:57,330
-Oh, hell no. -What about this thing?

1199
00:45:57,430 --> 00:45:58,831
I actually have that one in blue.

1200
00:45:58,931 --> 00:46:00,000
You do?

1201
00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:01,867
Blue's the most relaxing color and you've got to relax

1202
00:46:01,967 --> 00:46:03,703
if you're going to take something that big, am I right?

1203
00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:05,071
(LAUGH)

1204
00:46:05,171 --> 00:46:06,006
I think this went really well.

1205
00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:09,075
FERRETTI: Yes.

1206
00:46:09,175 --> 00:46:10,543
Well, no, not yet.

1207
00:46:10,643 --> 00:46:12,512
It's just an idea.

1208
00:46:12,612 --> 00:46:14,414
Of course, we'll need to--

1209
00:46:14,514 --> 00:46:16,749
She started as a temp, but--

1210
00:46:16,849 --> 00:46:19,219
You know, it's a fucking great idea.

1211
00:46:19,319 --> 00:46:20,320
(ELEVATO BELL DINGS)

1212
00:46:20,420 --> 00:46:22,155
(GRUNTS)

1213
00:46:22,255 --> 00:46:23,189
PRUDENCE: Ooh, big day.

1214
00:46:23,289 --> 00:46:24,590
Everyone's in the conference room waiting for you.

1215
00:46:24,690 --> 00:46:26,192
RUBY: Thanks, P.

1216
00:46:28,161 --> 00:46:31,931
(STEPS REACHING)

1217
00:46:41,107 --> 00:46:42,275
What the fuck.

1218
00:46:42,375 --> 00:46:50,050
(♪♪♪)

1219
00:46:50,150 --> 00:46:51,317
No, no, no.

1220
00:46:51,417 --> 00:46:52,852
Fuck, fuck.

1221
00:46:57,257 --> 00:46:58,758
Shit.

1222
00:47:05,198 --> 00:47:07,300
That motherfucker.

1223
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:08,268
Ruby, they're getting restless.

1224
00:47:08,368 --> 00:47:09,669
It's now or never.

1225
00:47:09,769 --> 00:47:11,704
-Good luck. -I can't go, I can't go.

1226
00:47:11,804 --> 00:47:12,972
I don't have my presentation.

1227
00:47:13,073 --> 00:47:14,407
And I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing here.

1228
00:47:14,507 --> 00:47:15,441
Oh, I don't know.

1229
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:17,377
Revolutionizing the porn industry,

1230
00:47:17,477 --> 00:47:19,012
giving women a voice.

1231
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,814
You got this.

1232
00:47:25,418 --> 00:47:26,919
(EXHALES)

1233
00:47:27,020 --> 00:47:35,228
(♪♪♪)

1234
00:47:41,334 --> 00:47:45,971
(WHIRRING)

1235
00:47:50,610 --> 00:48:00,186
(♪♪♪)

1236
00:48:03,289 --> 00:48:04,857
(EXHALES)

1237
00:48:06,192 --> 00:48:07,627
What's the holdup?

1238
00:48:08,561 --> 00:48:10,230
Um, I-- I just need one second.

1239
00:48:10,330 --> 00:48:11,697
I'm sorry.

1240
00:48:13,633 --> 00:48:15,468
This was a bad idea.

1241
00:48:15,568 --> 00:48:17,503
-Everyone back to work. -No, no, no. No, no.

1242
00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:18,804
Wait, wait, guys. Please wait.

1243
00:48:18,904 --> 00:48:20,040
Um...

1244
00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:30,683
Apple taught us to think different.

1245
00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:36,822
For some, that means smartphones and electric cars.

1246
00:48:36,922 --> 00:48:42,328
But for Spread, think different means helping people masturbate

1247
00:48:42,428 --> 00:48:44,564
with one hand on their iPhone

1248
00:48:44,664 --> 00:48:46,566
and the other hand on their genitals.

1249
00:48:46,666 --> 00:48:49,202
The Spread app is designed to do just that.

1250
00:48:49,302 --> 00:48:51,704
And of course, it would be discreet, you know,

1251
00:48:51,804 --> 00:48:53,339
with options of different interfaces,

1252
00:48:53,439 --> 00:48:57,777
making it look like an app for recipes or shopping

1253
00:48:57,877 --> 00:48:59,979
or navigation or whatever the user chooses.

1254
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,448
And of course, it'll be password-protected.

1255
00:49:02,548 --> 00:49:05,385
Um, bow, if we dive a little deeper into

1256
00:49:05,485 --> 00:49:07,320
user personalization.

1257
00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:12,492
(SCRIBBLES)

1258
00:49:12,592 --> 00:49:15,328
♪ Oh yeah, I've gotta make it

1259
00:49:15,428 --> 00:49:16,729
♪ Don't fear

1260
00:49:16,829 --> 00:49:22,135
(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

1261
00:49:25,738 --> 00:49:27,807
We not only need to optimize

1262
00:49:27,907 --> 00:49:31,511
on the power of the Spread brand and subscriber base,

1263
00:49:31,611 --> 00:49:32,945
but we also need to expand on it.

1264
00:49:33,046 --> 00:49:34,580
Let me ask you a question.

1265
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,983
Who do you think drives 60 to 70 percent

1266
00:49:38,084 --> 00:49:39,585
of all consumer purchasing?

1267
00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:40,886
Oh.

1268
00:49:40,986 --> 00:49:42,288
Women.

1269
00:49:42,388 --> 00:49:45,658
And what percentage of women do you think watch porn?

1270
00:49:45,758 --> 00:49:47,360
(GASPS)

1271
00:49:47,460 --> 00:49:48,528
10 percent.

1272
00:49:48,628 --> 00:49:50,163
50 percent.

1273
00:49:51,431 --> 00:49:55,368
My mom is one of those. She likes movies set on farms.

1274
00:49:56,636 --> 00:49:57,770
She's an animal lover.

1275
00:49:58,738 --> 00:50:00,406
Thank you, Nelson.

1276
00:50:00,506 --> 00:50:02,575
The point is women will watch porn

1277
00:50:02,675 --> 00:50:03,976
if you just engage them.

1278
00:50:04,077 --> 00:50:06,912
They want porn that's tailored to them.

1279
00:50:07,013 --> 00:50:08,214
Okay, listen to this.

1280
00:50:09,782 --> 00:50:12,318
WOMAN 2: (ON TAPE) My family shares a computer and my kids use my phone,

1281
00:50:12,418 --> 00:50:14,287
so can't have any porn on there.

1282
00:50:14,387 --> 00:50:16,289
RUBY: (ON TAPE) What if it was an app that

1283
00:50:16,389 --> 00:50:17,690
looked like an astrology app

1284
00:50:17,790 --> 00:50:20,660
and your kids didn't have access to it?

1285
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,762
WOMAN 2: (ON TAPE) I can get with that. Yes.

1286
00:50:22,862 --> 00:50:24,097
RUBY: (ON TAPE) Yeah, that'd work.

1287
00:50:25,365 --> 00:50:26,599
Why aren't we marketing

1288
00:50:26,699 --> 00:50:28,801
to the other half of the population,

1289
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:31,471
the half that controls the majority of the spending?

1290
00:50:31,571 --> 00:50:35,775
Right now, Spread is missing out on this massive audience

1291
00:50:35,875 --> 00:50:37,977
and their tremendous spending power

1292
00:50:38,078 --> 00:50:40,613
with a modest start-up investment

1293
00:50:40,713 --> 00:50:44,384
of 150K for tech and personnel.

1294
00:50:44,484 --> 00:50:45,485
RUBY: Creating a solid app

1295
00:50:45,585 --> 00:50:49,722
could increase annual revenue by as much as 300 percent.

1296
00:50:54,227 --> 00:50:55,295
Mr. Ferretti?

1297
00:50:57,763 --> 00:51:00,866
I think that porn is an unsung hero.

1298
00:51:00,966 --> 00:51:03,903
Why do people buy VHS players?

1299
00:51:04,004 --> 00:51:05,705
They get off to porn in the comfort

1300
00:51:05,805 --> 00:51:07,640
of their bedrooms.

1301
00:51:07,740 --> 00:51:10,743
Then they bought DVDs and Blu-rays,

1302
00:51:10,843 --> 00:51:13,479
so they could see more clearly.

1303
00:51:13,579 --> 00:51:15,181
And now the internet.

1304
00:51:16,449 --> 00:51:18,218
So does that mean you're in?

1305
00:51:18,318 --> 00:51:20,120
Oh, I'm a believer.

1306
00:51:22,855 --> 00:51:24,924
But we can't move forward.

1307
00:51:26,492 --> 00:51:27,460
NELSON: What?

1308
00:51:30,763 --> 00:51:32,998
-THOMAS: That's a good idea. -(LESLIE LAUGHS)

1309
00:51:33,099 --> 00:51:34,634
-Um... -Leslie, shut the fuck up.

1310
00:51:34,734 --> 00:51:35,868
(STEPS FALLING)

1311
00:51:35,968 --> 00:51:38,104
Mr. Ferretti?

1312
00:51:38,204 --> 00:51:39,639
Frank?

1313
00:51:39,739 --> 00:51:40,606
Mr. Ferretti?

1314
00:51:40,706 --> 00:51:42,142
(DOOR SHUTS)

1315
00:51:44,744 --> 00:51:46,246
Welcome to the suck.

1316
00:51:51,651 --> 00:51:53,053
♪ You got me shaking

1317
00:51:53,153 --> 00:51:56,622
♪ Yeah, I feel the fever going

1318
00:51:56,722 --> 00:51:57,890
Ohh!

1319
00:51:57,990 --> 00:52:02,728
(INDISTINCT LYRICS)

1320
00:52:02,828 --> 00:52:04,564
-Whoa. -Okay.

1321
00:52:04,664 --> 00:52:07,433
Do you like have a homing device for vulnerable women?

1322
00:52:07,533 --> 00:52:10,736
I was gonna say something nice, but I could just leave.

1323
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,772
No.

1324
00:52:12,872 --> 00:52:13,973
Please stay.

1325
00:52:14,074 --> 00:52:15,708
I could use hearing something nice.

1326
00:52:15,808 --> 00:52:17,777
I was gonna say that

1327
00:52:17,877 --> 00:52:20,413
even though your presentation started off bad,

1328
00:52:21,347 --> 00:52:25,818
like really, really embarrassingly bad.

1329
00:52:25,918 --> 00:52:26,852
-It was-- -Okay.

1330
00:52:26,952 --> 00:52:28,588
Can you skip to the good part, please?

1331
00:52:28,688 --> 00:52:31,091
I was really impressed.

1332
00:52:31,191 --> 00:52:33,726
I got to say, your research and approach was streamlined,

1333
00:52:33,826 --> 00:52:36,896
in depth, and well, innovative.

1334
00:52:38,598 --> 00:52:39,299
Hmm.

1335
00:52:39,399 --> 00:52:39,932
(WOMAN MOANING IN VIDEO)

1336
00:52:40,033 --> 00:52:42,002
THOMAS: Yeah.

1337
00:52:42,102 --> 00:52:44,937
(WOMAN MOANING IN VIDEO)

1338
00:52:45,038 --> 00:52:46,872
How can she focus?

1339
00:52:46,972 --> 00:52:48,241
I multitask all day.

1340
00:52:48,341 --> 00:52:50,910
I don't want to do it with multiple sets of genitals.

1341
00:52:51,011 --> 00:52:54,980
If I'm gonna, you know, then I need to concentrate.

1342
00:52:56,249 --> 00:52:57,317
Speaking of.

1343
00:52:58,584 --> 00:52:59,652
(SIGHS)

1344
00:52:59,752 --> 00:53:01,987
Okay. Okay, fine.

1345
00:53:02,088 --> 00:53:05,225
Yes, you were right, I faked it.

1346
00:53:05,325 --> 00:53:09,295
-Why? -Because it's embarrassing.

1347
00:53:09,395 --> 00:53:11,831
I mean, most guys don't even know how to get a woman off.

1348
00:53:11,931 --> 00:53:13,733
I didn't even know how to get myself off

1349
00:53:13,833 --> 00:53:15,435
for a very long time.

1350
00:53:15,535 --> 00:53:16,602
How sad is that?

1351
00:53:16,702 --> 00:53:18,038
Well, I think that's pretty common.

1352
00:53:18,138 --> 00:53:21,441
No, it's fucking tragic is what it is.

1353
00:53:21,541 --> 00:53:23,643
I can help you.

1354
00:53:23,743 --> 00:53:26,179
I mean, we can do it together.

1355
00:53:27,913 --> 00:53:31,184
Spread should offer tutorials

1356
00:53:31,284 --> 00:53:32,685
for giving women orgasms and--

1357
00:53:32,785 --> 00:53:34,387
and for women to achieve their own.

1358
00:53:34,487 --> 00:53:35,855
Like school, but sexy.

1359
00:53:35,955 --> 00:53:37,157
Yeah, right.

1360
00:53:38,324 --> 00:53:39,692
Research.

1361
00:53:39,792 --> 00:53:41,327
Research.

1362
00:53:42,828 --> 00:53:46,932
(KISSING)

1363
00:53:51,137 --> 00:53:52,238
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1364
00:53:52,338 --> 00:53:54,240
PRUDENCE: Frank, honey. I have your coffee.

1365
00:53:57,110 --> 00:53:59,279
Oh, it's you.

1366
00:54:02,848 --> 00:54:04,384
Prudence?

1367
00:54:04,484 --> 00:54:05,685
Not cool.

1368
00:54:05,785 --> 00:54:07,887
I'm sorry. I-- I begged her, sir.

1369
00:54:07,987 --> 00:54:10,323
Can I please just have five minutes?

1370
00:54:10,423 --> 00:54:13,126
The app is a strategic long-term--

1371
00:54:13,226 --> 00:54:15,461
I'll stop you right there.

1372
00:54:15,561 --> 00:54:19,199
There's no more long-term investments in Spread.

1373
00:54:19,299 --> 00:54:21,967
Our parent company bought us out of bankruptcy,

1374
00:54:22,068 --> 00:54:23,869
but we're still hemorrhaging money

1375
00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:25,971
and I can't find a way to stop it.

1376
00:54:28,708 --> 00:54:31,911
And you know I started this magazine in my garage?

1377
00:54:32,012 --> 00:54:34,214
-You did? -Yeah.

1378
00:54:34,314 --> 00:54:39,119
My first wife was a cover model, a beautiful blonde.

1379
00:54:39,219 --> 00:54:41,287
Boy, was she a knockout.

1380
00:54:42,522 --> 00:54:44,490
She didn't like that I always called her “my first wife”.

1381
00:54:44,590 --> 00:54:45,558
(CHUCKLES)

1382
00:54:45,658 --> 00:54:48,261
I was just being realistic.

1383
00:54:48,361 --> 00:54:49,695
And that's how I ran my business.

1384
00:54:49,795 --> 00:54:50,763
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

1385
00:54:50,863 --> 00:54:53,566
And when the magazines had mansions, uh,

1386
00:54:53,666 --> 00:54:55,935
fighting for free speech.

1387
00:54:56,036 --> 00:54:59,772
I knew in order to survive I had to minimize risks,

1388
00:54:59,872 --> 00:55:02,675
stay under the radar. Coast.

1389
00:55:04,010 --> 00:55:05,811
And that's how I survived the game.

1390
00:55:05,911 --> 00:55:07,480
Well, it makes sense to me.

1391
00:55:09,049 --> 00:55:10,016
Maybe I wanted to prove

1392
00:55:10,116 --> 00:55:12,052
to those snotty rich kids I grew up with

1393
00:55:12,152 --> 00:55:14,054
that I was as good as them.

1394
00:55:16,156 --> 00:55:18,291
Or maybe I was having too much fun

1395
00:55:18,391 --> 00:55:20,226
and just didn't give a fuck.

1396
00:55:21,527 --> 00:55:24,364
This place might not look like much to you,

1397
00:55:26,132 --> 00:55:27,733
but it's everything to me.

1398
00:55:29,569 --> 00:55:31,037
I know it is.

1399
00:55:32,272 --> 00:55:37,643
All those idiots who work here, well, they're my idiots.

1400
00:55:37,743 --> 00:55:40,046
They're my family really.

1401
00:55:41,947 --> 00:55:43,883
And I've let everyone down.

1402
00:55:43,983 --> 00:55:46,419
No. No, you haven't, Mr. Ferretti.

1403
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:48,754
You know, people warned me.

1404
00:55:48,854 --> 00:55:51,357
They said the industry was changing

1405
00:55:51,457 --> 00:55:53,859
and I have to change with it.

1406
00:55:53,959 --> 00:55:55,628
But I didn't listen.

1407
00:55:56,996 --> 00:56:01,634
And now it's too late.

1408
00:56:01,734 --> 00:56:03,069
No, it's not.

1409
00:56:03,169 --> 00:56:03,903
That's what I'm trying to tell you.

1410
00:56:04,004 --> 00:56:05,238
It's not too late.

1411
00:56:05,338 --> 00:56:07,207
Ruby, I'm not in charge of the budget anymore.

1412
00:56:07,307 --> 00:56:11,577
That-- that foolish asshole who's been walking around here,

1413
00:56:11,677 --> 00:56:13,779
Mr. Sizemore,

1414
00:56:15,215 --> 00:56:17,717
he's the corporate suit who's really in charge.

1415
00:56:19,252 --> 00:56:21,321
I asked him for the start-up money.

1416
00:56:24,290 --> 00:56:25,925
But he said no.

1417
00:56:26,026 --> 00:56:27,393
He said no?

1418
00:56:27,493 --> 00:56:29,529
Actually, he said, “Get fucked.”

1419
00:56:31,064 --> 00:56:32,898
I don't have a good feeling about this luau.

1420
00:56:32,998 --> 00:56:34,734
What if I went and talked to him?

1421
00:56:34,834 --> 00:56:35,501
You know, you're telling me

1422
00:56:35,601 --> 00:56:37,103
this guy's all about money, right?

1423
00:56:37,203 --> 00:56:39,572
So if-- if I showed him the projections,

1424
00:56:39,672 --> 00:56:40,406
then he couldn't deny it.

1425
00:56:40,506 --> 00:56:41,641
He couldn't deny the numbers.

1426
00:56:41,741 --> 00:56:43,009
I can be very convincing.

1427
00:56:43,109 --> 00:56:49,715
(♪♪♪)

1428
00:56:49,815 --> 00:56:51,117
You're a good kid.

1429
00:56:51,217 --> 00:56:53,053
(FERRETTI CHUCKLES)

1430
00:56:53,153 --> 00:56:54,420
So that's it?

1431
00:56:58,591 --> 00:56:59,792
All right, well,

1432
00:57:02,162 --> 00:57:04,230
it was an honor being one of your idiots.

1433
00:57:05,665 --> 00:57:07,200
Can I give you a hug?

1434
00:57:15,441 --> 00:57:19,679
They say, Ruby, you're like a dream

1435
00:57:21,847 --> 00:57:25,151
Not always what you seem

1436
00:57:27,020 --> 00:57:30,223
And though my heart may break

1437
00:57:31,524 --> 00:57:32,725
Oh, shut up.

1438
00:57:32,825 --> 00:57:35,961
(LAUGHS)

1439
00:57:36,062 --> 00:57:39,132
You're a really good kid.

1440
00:57:39,232 --> 00:57:41,134
Now do me a favor.

1441
00:57:41,234 --> 00:57:43,436
What? Get the fuck out of here.

1442
00:57:45,805 --> 00:57:47,173
Yeah.

1443
00:57:50,376 --> 00:57:54,747
(STEPS FALLING)

1444
00:57:56,516 --> 00:57:59,119
How many wives have you had?

1445
00:57:59,219 --> 00:58:01,121
Four and counting.

1446
00:58:01,221 --> 00:58:03,089
(CHUCKLES)

1447
00:58:03,189 --> 00:58:12,298
(♪♪♪)

1448
00:58:13,833 --> 00:58:16,169
(SOBS)

1449
00:58:16,269 --> 00:58:18,504
(SNIFFLES, EXHALES)

1450
00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:24,244
(SLURPS)

1451
00:58:25,811 --> 00:58:27,180
(SIGHS)

1452
00:58:33,453 --> 00:58:35,055
I guess it's time for a new temp.

1453
00:58:35,155 --> 00:58:42,495
(♪♪♪)

1454
00:58:42,595 --> 00:58:44,530
(KNOCKING)

1455
00:58:44,630 --> 00:58:46,832
Your 10:00, sir.

1456
00:58:46,932 --> 00:58:48,434
I didn't know I had a 10:00.

1457
00:58:48,534 --> 00:58:49,935
She said it was urgent.

1458
00:58:50,036 --> 00:58:51,537
Doubtful.

1459
00:58:51,637 --> 00:58:54,240
Um, Mr. Sizemore, I have a plan

1460
00:58:54,340 --> 00:58:56,276
to dramatically increase your profit.

1461
00:58:56,376 --> 00:58:58,144
-I just need five minutes. -No.

1462
00:58:58,244 --> 00:58:59,545
What? But I haven't even--

1463
00:58:59,645 --> 00:59:01,347
I know who you are and why you're here.

1464
00:59:01,447 --> 00:59:03,083
Okay, but this could save--

1465
00:59:03,183 --> 00:59:05,018
It can't and it won't.

1466
00:59:05,118 --> 00:59:07,520
I won't let Spread waste one more penny.

1467
00:59:07,620 --> 00:59:09,222
After the luau, it's done.

1468
00:59:09,322 --> 00:59:11,291
You're shutting down Spread?

1469
00:59:11,391 --> 00:59:12,658
But what about everybody who works here?

1470
00:59:12,758 --> 00:59:15,228
Well, you'll all get your severance packages.

1471
00:59:15,328 --> 00:59:16,962
Well, not you actually.

1472
00:59:17,063 --> 00:59:18,198
You're just a temp.

1473
00:59:18,298 --> 00:59:19,499
But I have a plan, okay?

1474
00:59:19,599 --> 00:59:20,700
And I can prove it to you.

1475
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:21,801
If you'll just give me a little bit more time,

1476
00:59:21,901 --> 00:59:24,570
-I can show you. -Spread is out of time.

1477
00:59:26,339 --> 00:59:28,074
You better update your resume.

1478
00:59:28,174 --> 00:59:30,876
Wait, is-- is Spread even on your resume?

1479
00:59:33,213 --> 00:59:35,681
Yeah, I didn't think so.

1480
00:59:38,218 --> 00:59:39,852
Why are you still here?

1481
00:59:43,689 --> 00:59:44,990
Pearl.

1482
00:59:46,859 --> 00:59:47,927
Bring me a cappuccino.

1483
00:59:49,595 --> 00:59:52,365
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS, WHIRS)

1484
00:59:52,465 --> 00:59:59,372
(♪♪♪)

1485
00:59:59,472 --> 01:00:00,740
Hey, lameosexual.

1486
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:02,742
-Guess what? -What?

1487
01:00:02,842 --> 01:00:05,311
My windsurfing story goes live today.

1488
01:00:05,411 --> 01:00:07,113
It's very cool, Leslie. Good for you.

1489
01:00:07,213 --> 01:00:09,515
Yeah, it is good for me.

1490
01:00:09,615 --> 01:00:11,684
Gross. What's your problem?

1491
01:00:11,784 --> 01:00:13,219
-I just talked to Sizemore-- -Stopped listening!

1492
01:00:13,319 --> 01:00:15,055
(EXHALES)

1493
01:00:15,155 --> 01:00:17,223
I know it was you who took my note cards, you dickhead.

1494
01:00:17,323 --> 01:00:18,324
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS, WHIRS)

1495
01:00:18,424 --> 01:00:19,925
Goodbye, Shasta. Bye, Feather.

1496
01:00:20,026 --> 01:00:21,361
What a fun work environment.

1497
01:00:21,461 --> 01:00:23,496
Dad? Dad, dad, lunch isn't for another hour.

1498
01:00:23,596 --> 01:00:25,298
-What are you doing here? -Retirement's boring.

1499
01:00:25,398 --> 01:00:26,266
No, no, no. You have to leave.

1500
01:00:26,366 --> 01:00:27,800
-Ple-- -What's all the commotion?

1501
01:00:27,900 --> 01:00:29,269
You're still here?

1502
01:00:29,369 --> 01:00:30,636
Mm-hmm. Sure am.

1503
01:00:30,736 --> 01:00:31,804
It's Ferretti. It's Frank Ferretti.

1504
01:00:31,904 --> 01:00:33,206
It's Frank Ferretti in the flesh.

1505
01:00:33,306 --> 01:00:35,508
That's right. Who's this?

1506
01:00:35,608 --> 01:00:37,610
Mr. Ferretti, um, I'm very sorry.

1507
01:00:37,710 --> 01:00:40,013
This is my father, but he was just leaving.

1508
01:00:40,113 --> 01:00:42,082
You, sir, are a legend.

1509
01:00:42,182 --> 01:00:44,450
I'm just honored you've given my daughter this opportunity.

1510
01:00:44,550 --> 01:00:46,886
-Is that so? -Oh, absolutely.

1511
01:00:46,986 --> 01:00:48,854
It's always been a dream of mine to meet you,

1512
01:00:48,954 --> 01:00:51,124
and I have brought you this but a humble gift

1513
01:00:51,224 --> 01:00:53,893
of my appreciation, a bag of bagels.

1514
01:00:53,993 --> 01:00:55,228
I spared no expense.

1515
01:00:55,328 --> 01:00:56,596
There's every flavor in there except

1516
01:00:56,696 --> 01:00:59,565
for the everything bagel, because they cost a dollar more.

1517
01:00:59,665 --> 01:01:01,267
They make my breath stink anyway.

1518
01:01:01,367 --> 01:01:02,535
Right? I mean.

1519
01:01:02,635 --> 01:01:04,404
-How about a tour? -Oh, I'd love that.

1520
01:01:04,504 --> 01:01:06,939
Thank you so much. Yes, please.

1521
01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:08,741
Um, Mr. Ferretti.

1522
01:01:10,743 --> 01:01:13,046
Uh, I...

1523
01:01:15,281 --> 01:01:17,283
May I take those bagels from you?

1524
01:01:17,383 --> 01:01:18,451
RON: Okay.

1525
01:01:18,551 --> 01:01:19,785
How about that tour?

1526
01:01:22,288 --> 01:01:24,490
So what's this? This looks interesting.

1527
01:01:24,590 --> 01:01:26,359
It's a closet full of dildos.

1528
01:01:26,459 --> 01:01:27,693
I love this place!

1529
01:01:31,064 --> 01:01:32,465
(SIGHS)

1530
01:01:32,565 --> 01:01:35,068
-Ruby? -Nelson, what are you doing?

1531
01:01:35,168 --> 01:01:36,769
-Were you crying? -Were you spying?

1532
01:01:36,869 --> 01:01:39,339
My mother calls it, “private attentive observation”.

1533
01:01:39,439 --> 01:01:40,973
Okay, that's spying.

1534
01:01:41,074 --> 01:01:41,807
I'm sorry you're sad.

1535
01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:45,278
I'm not sad, I'm-- I'm frustrated.

1536
01:01:45,378 --> 01:01:47,147
Your eyes look pretty when they're bloodshot

1537
01:01:47,247 --> 01:01:48,481
Is that all you wanted to tell me?

1538
01:01:48,581 --> 01:01:51,151
Leslie is gathering everyone for a release party

1539
01:01:51,251 --> 01:01:52,685
of his windsurfing story?

1540
01:01:52,785 --> 01:01:54,087
Ugh.

1541
01:01:54,187 --> 01:01:55,788
Will you be my date?

1542
01:01:57,423 --> 01:01:58,658
Yes.

1543
01:02:00,660 --> 01:02:01,794
Ho!

1544
01:02:06,099 --> 01:02:08,468
You really outdid yourself with this tap water.

1545
01:02:08,568 --> 01:02:09,635
Yeah, you're not gonna be talking so much shit

1546
01:02:09,735 --> 01:02:10,836
once you read the story.

1547
01:02:10,936 --> 01:02:12,838
You do realize I've already read it, right?

1548
01:02:12,938 --> 01:02:14,107
Yeah, whatever.

1549
01:02:16,276 --> 01:02:18,044
Are you kidding me?

1550
01:02:18,144 --> 01:02:19,645
It's McDumack, you fucks!

1551
01:02:21,281 --> 01:02:22,915
Who wrote Leslie McDumbass, huh?

1552
01:02:23,016 --> 01:02:24,284
Ooh.

1553
01:02:24,384 --> 01:02:25,318
(LAUGHS)

1554
01:02:25,418 --> 01:02:26,386
Oh, you think this is fucking funny?

1555
01:02:26,486 --> 01:02:28,021
Dude, it was a joke.

1556
01:02:28,121 --> 01:02:28,888
Besides, you're the one

1557
01:02:28,988 --> 01:02:30,056
who's supposed to proofread everything.

1558
01:02:30,156 --> 01:02:31,624
Yeah, whatever.

1559
01:02:31,724 --> 01:02:33,826
You and your boyfriend are gonna pay for this.

1560
01:02:33,926 --> 01:02:36,196
(GRUNTS)

1561
01:02:36,296 --> 01:02:37,863
Shit!

1562
01:02:37,963 --> 01:02:40,533
(PANTS)

1563
01:02:44,404 --> 01:02:46,506
Leslie called me your boyfriend.

1564
01:02:46,606 --> 01:02:49,242
Leslie calls his penis a beef bazooka,

1565
01:02:49,342 --> 01:02:50,176
so I wouldn't read into it.

1566
01:02:50,276 --> 01:02:51,811
Trust me, I'm not.

1567
01:02:51,911 --> 01:02:54,514
I just hope everyone around here doesn't think that we're dating.

1568
01:02:54,614 --> 01:02:56,482
Why? Because that would be the worst thing?

1569
01:02:56,582 --> 01:02:58,418
Assembling Ikea furniture might be worse.

1570
01:02:58,518 --> 01:02:59,952
Okay, well, you don't have to worry about it,

1571
01:03:00,053 --> 01:03:02,022
because we're never hooking up again.

1572
01:03:02,122 --> 01:03:03,456
Sure.

1573
01:03:03,556 --> 01:03:06,159
-We're not. -Mm-hmm.

1574
01:03:06,259 --> 01:03:08,061
(GASP)

1575
01:03:08,161 --> 01:03:09,795
Fuck.

1576
01:03:09,895 --> 01:03:13,966
(♪♪♪)

1577
01:03:14,067 --> 01:03:15,668
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1578
01:03:15,768 --> 01:03:17,170
Mr. Ferretti, do you have a minute?

1579
01:03:17,270 --> 01:03:19,105
Sure.

1580
01:03:19,205 --> 01:03:21,141
Talk to Mr. Sizemore?

1581
01:03:21,241 --> 01:03:22,842
Yeah.

1582
01:03:24,044 --> 01:03:26,546
He's shutting down Spread and announcing it at the luau.

1583
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:30,916
I had a feeling. Thanks for telling me.

1584
01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:32,652
Do me a favor, don't tell the others yet.

1585
01:03:32,752 --> 01:03:34,020
No, no, no. Of course, I won't.

1586
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:36,356
It's just-- he just doesn't see the big picture.

1587
01:03:36,456 --> 01:03:38,991
Well, he calls the shots.

1588
01:03:39,092 --> 01:03:41,327
Now, I hate to kick you out, but I don't want you

1589
01:03:41,427 --> 01:03:43,063
to see a grown man cry.

1590
01:03:43,163 --> 01:03:49,369
(♪♪♪)

1591
01:03:49,469 --> 01:03:50,870
(DOOR SHUTS)

1592
01:03:55,441 --> 01:03:56,509
What are you doing?

1593
01:03:56,609 --> 01:03:59,812
Um, I was just looking for a job for my friend.

1594
01:03:59,912 --> 01:04:02,682
I was looking for a job for my friend.

1595
01:04:02,782 --> 01:04:05,118
That's my favorite dating site.

1596
01:04:05,218 --> 01:04:06,886
But that was LinkedIn.

1597
01:04:06,986 --> 01:04:07,620
I know.

1598
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,422
(PHONE RINGING)

1599
01:04:09,522 --> 01:04:12,325
Oh shit. Hello?

1600
01:04:12,425 --> 01:04:14,327
Okey-dokey.

1601
01:04:14,427 --> 01:04:17,397
Okay, so tomorrow, yeah, yes, yes.

1602
01:04:17,497 --> 01:04:18,831
Yes, of course, I'll be there.

1603
01:04:18,931 --> 01:04:20,400
Thank you so much, I'll see you then.

1604
01:04:20,500 --> 01:04:22,168
(SIGHS)

1605
01:04:22,268 --> 01:04:25,271
(TYPING)

1606
01:04:25,371 --> 01:04:31,344
(♪♪♪)

1607
01:04:31,444 --> 01:04:32,845
(SIGHS)

1608
01:04:36,549 --> 01:04:37,617
MARCIA: Hmm.

1609
01:04:40,086 --> 01:04:42,688
Well, you don't have much in the form

1610
01:04:42,788 --> 01:04:45,191
of real life work experience.

1611
01:04:45,291 --> 01:04:48,761
But I must say I find all your extracurriculars interesting.

1612
01:04:48,861 --> 01:04:51,564
Published in The New Yorker at the age of 17.

1613
01:04:51,664 --> 01:04:53,533
That's exceptional.

1614
01:04:53,633 --> 01:04:55,435
-It is? -Yeah.

1615
01:04:55,535 --> 01:04:56,702
Thank you. Yeah.

1616
01:04:56,802 --> 01:04:57,903
Yeah, I've-- I've--

1617
01:04:58,004 --> 01:04:59,972
I've always been a lover of language.

1618
01:05:00,073 --> 01:05:02,542
And you're currently at The Atlantic?

1619
01:05:02,642 --> 01:05:05,345
-Yes. -Well, they're quite esteemed.

1620
01:05:05,445 --> 01:05:07,347
I go way back with Max.

1621
01:05:07,447 --> 01:05:11,284
Oh, yeah, yeah. Max is uh, is great.

1622
01:05:11,384 --> 01:05:12,118
(CHUCKLES)

1623
01:05:12,218 --> 01:05:13,786
I mean, I've never met Max

1624
01:05:13,886 --> 01:05:17,357
because um, I mostly keep to myself.

1625
01:05:17,457 --> 01:05:19,825
But yeah, everybody loves Max.

1626
01:05:19,925 --> 01:05:21,727
So tell me about your position there.

1627
01:05:21,827 --> 01:05:23,929
-At The Atlantic. -Yes.

1628
01:05:24,030 --> 01:05:27,400
Uh, right now, I am just a junior copy editor.

1629
01:05:27,500 --> 01:05:28,701
And I do love it, but you know,

1630
01:05:28,801 --> 01:05:30,870
I just wish there was room for growth.

1631
01:05:30,970 --> 01:05:33,739
What's your long-term goal?

1632
01:05:33,839 --> 01:05:36,342
I want to be a managing editor.

1633
01:05:36,442 --> 01:05:39,012
That's ambitious.

1634
01:05:39,112 --> 01:05:41,047
I like that.

1635
01:05:41,147 --> 01:05:43,349
So tell me a little more about yourself.

1636
01:05:43,449 --> 01:05:46,019
Yeah. So I started writing when I was around 12.

1637
01:05:46,119 --> 01:05:48,154
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

1638
01:05:48,254 --> 01:05:50,823
PRUDENCE: Oh, you can see areola with these.

1639
01:05:50,923 --> 01:05:53,859
Ruby, come help us pick out supplies for the luau.

1640
01:05:53,959 --> 01:05:57,363
Do you think the 75 coconut bras are gonna be enough?

1641
01:05:57,463 --> 01:05:59,032
Are there ever really enough?

1642
01:05:59,132 --> 01:06:00,166
That is so true.

1643
01:06:00,266 --> 01:06:01,367
Let's make it an even 100.

1644
01:06:01,467 --> 01:06:02,735
You're coming to the luau, right?

1645
01:06:02,835 --> 01:06:05,905
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1646
01:06:06,006 --> 01:06:06,972
I wouldn't miss it for the world.

1647
01:06:07,073 --> 01:06:08,474
You gonna invite all your feminist friends?

1648
01:06:08,574 --> 01:06:09,609
No, I'm not.

1649
01:06:09,709 --> 01:06:10,810
Yeah, ‘cause you don't have any, loser.

1650
01:06:10,910 --> 01:06:13,479
-You're one to talk. -I have fucking friends.

1651
01:06:13,579 --> 01:06:15,415
Okay, my entire Aikido class is coming.

1652
01:06:15,515 --> 01:06:17,983
-(CHUCKLES) -Nice.

1653
01:06:18,084 --> 01:06:20,753
You haven't told anybody you work here.

1654
01:06:20,853 --> 01:06:24,090
You're a fucking stinky hippie feminist spy.

1655
01:06:25,158 --> 01:06:26,526
And you probably got a full bush.

1656
01:06:26,626 --> 01:06:28,894
-It's not a full bush. -Hm.

1657
01:06:30,096 --> 01:06:32,998
Okay, um, everybody follow me into the conference room.

1658
01:06:33,099 --> 01:06:34,967
Okay, right now. I need everybody, let's go.

1659
01:06:35,068 --> 01:06:36,736
Not going. Don't fucking work for you.

1660
01:06:36,836 --> 01:06:38,371
RUBY: I meant everybody else.

1661
01:06:38,471 --> 01:06:44,577
(♪♪♪)

1662
01:06:44,677 --> 01:06:46,712
Okay. So Frank doesn't seem to think--

1663
01:06:46,812 --> 01:06:48,214
RON: Hey, guys.

1664
01:06:48,314 --> 01:06:49,282
What's going on?

1665
01:06:49,382 --> 01:06:51,417
Dad, what are you doing here?

1666
01:06:51,517 --> 01:06:52,518
And why are you under the table?

1667
01:06:52,618 --> 01:06:56,289
Well, I'm just polishing my Ben Wa balls.

1668
01:06:56,389 --> 01:06:57,790
You know how that relaxes me.

1669
01:06:59,759 --> 01:07:01,161
Okay.

1670
01:07:01,261 --> 01:07:02,362
Well, as I was saying,

1671
01:07:02,462 --> 01:07:04,697
Frank doesn't think that we have the resources for this app,

1672
01:07:04,797 --> 01:07:05,665
but I disagree.

1673
01:07:05,765 --> 01:07:07,667
You all are the greatest resource

1674
01:07:07,767 --> 01:07:08,934
he could ever have.

1675
01:07:09,035 --> 01:07:11,337
We should launch this app with minimum viable product

1676
01:07:11,437 --> 01:07:13,006
just to prove its capabilities.

1677
01:07:13,106 --> 01:07:14,440
But we have to do it before the luau.

1678
01:07:14,540 --> 01:07:16,309
Oh, dear. That's in a week, honey.

1679
01:07:16,409 --> 01:07:18,778
I know. But I have a friend who has a team

1680
01:07:18,878 --> 01:07:19,979
in Bangladesh that can deliver me

1681
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:21,681
the wireframes that fast.

1682
01:07:21,781 --> 01:07:23,849
I may have to give her my firstborn in return,

1683
01:07:23,949 --> 01:07:25,851
but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

1684
01:07:25,951 --> 01:07:27,387
You can always have more kids.

1685
01:07:27,487 --> 01:07:28,688
Thank you, dad. Um, moving on.

1686
01:07:28,788 --> 01:07:31,191
Prudence, because of all your relationships in this business,

1687
01:07:31,291 --> 01:07:32,658
I was thinking you could be in charge

1688
01:07:32,758 --> 01:07:33,759
of finding our advertisers.

1689
01:07:33,859 --> 01:07:36,029
I could do that, I think.

1690
01:07:36,129 --> 01:07:38,664
And Hank, you seem to really be getting the hang of Twitter,

1691
01:07:38,764 --> 01:07:40,500
and I think you'll learn TikTok, and Instagram,

1692
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:41,834
and Snapchat, no problem.

1693
01:07:41,934 --> 01:07:43,836
Plus, everybody loves you, you know?

1694
01:07:43,936 --> 01:07:45,805
So just get those girls to link up their socials

1695
01:07:45,905 --> 01:07:48,074
to Spread's, and we'll be golden.

1696
01:07:48,174 --> 01:07:51,477
And uh, Nelson, you'll be our king of code.

1697
01:07:51,577 --> 01:07:53,979
-I'm her king? -Yeah.

1698
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:55,681
And obviously, we'll need killer design,

1699
01:07:55,781 --> 01:07:57,350
so that'll be Thomas' domain.

1700
01:07:58,751 --> 01:07:59,785
What am I in charge of?

1701
01:07:59,885 --> 01:08:01,354
Dad, you don't work here.

1702
01:08:01,454 --> 01:08:03,223
Consider it a community service.

1703
01:08:04,657 --> 01:08:06,692
Okay, whatever. Is everybody in?

1704
01:08:06,792 --> 01:08:08,894
Well, I'm in. Let's do it.

1705
01:08:08,994 --> 01:08:11,231
You're probably gonna pester me until I say yes,

1706
01:08:11,331 --> 01:08:14,000
so let's just cut out the headache.

1707
01:08:14,100 --> 01:08:15,335
Nelson?

1708
01:08:15,435 --> 01:08:16,869
Anything for my queen.

1709
01:08:17,737 --> 01:08:19,539
Cool. And Thomas.

1710
01:08:20,906 --> 01:08:23,309
Sorry, I-- I have other work to do.

1711
01:08:25,745 --> 01:08:27,247
That was that buzzkill, huh?

1712
01:08:27,347 --> 01:08:29,082
Going so strong there.

1713
01:08:29,182 --> 01:08:29,615
(DOOR OPENS)

1714
01:08:29,715 --> 01:08:31,384
Motherf--

1715
01:08:38,991 --> 01:08:39,859
(DOOR CLOSES)

1716
01:08:39,959 --> 01:08:41,527
-He seems nice. -He's an asshole.

1717
01:08:41,627 --> 01:08:42,528
-Hm. -Oh, yeah.

1718
01:08:42,628 --> 01:08:44,797
-He is an asshole. -Piece of shit.

1719
01:08:44,897 --> 01:08:46,599
-Balls? -Thank you.

1720
01:08:46,699 --> 01:08:48,301
-Yeah. -Can I-- can I try one?

1721
01:08:48,401 --> 01:08:49,902
No.

1722
01:08:50,003 --> 01:08:52,405
-Other work to do? -Oh, please, come in.

1723
01:08:52,505 --> 01:08:54,574
You and I both know that this is a good idea.

1724
01:08:54,674 --> 01:08:55,841
You can't save Spread.

1725
01:08:55,941 --> 01:08:57,710
Yes, we can if we try.

1726
01:08:57,810 --> 01:08:59,145
It's too much work and not enough time.

1727
01:08:59,245 --> 01:09:01,114
-It is not possible. -What is your problem?

1728
01:09:01,214 --> 01:09:03,749
Are you afraid of failure or are you afraid of success?

1729
01:09:03,849 --> 01:09:04,850
Neither.

1730
01:09:04,950 --> 01:09:05,951
Oh, so you just think empowering women

1731
01:09:06,052 --> 01:09:07,420
is a bullshit idea in general.

1732
01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:09,755
Okay, I got it now. Thank you.

1733
01:09:09,855 --> 01:09:12,792
-(DOOR CLOSES) -(UPBEAT MUSIC)

1734
01:09:12,892 --> 01:09:14,227
MARCIA: (ON PHONE) Is this Ruby Clark?

1735
01:09:14,327 --> 01:09:15,495
Yes, this is Ruby.

1736
01:09:15,595 --> 01:09:17,363
MARCIA: (ON PHONE) Marcia, from the Sophisticate here.

1737
01:09:17,463 --> 01:09:18,364
Good news.

1738
01:09:18,464 --> 01:09:20,733
It's just down to you and one other candidate.

1739
01:09:20,833 --> 01:09:21,801
-Really? -MARCIA: Yes.

1740
01:09:21,901 --> 01:09:23,303
Well, that's amazing.

1741
01:09:23,403 --> 01:09:25,238
MARCIA: (ON PHONE) I'll be in touch soon.

1742
01:09:25,338 --> 01:09:26,572
Thank you so much.

1743
01:09:26,672 --> 01:09:27,540
MARCIA: (ON PHONE) Bye-bye.

1744
01:09:27,640 --> 01:09:29,509
(SIGHS)

1745
01:09:29,609 --> 01:09:34,480
(♪♪♪)

1746
01:09:34,580 --> 01:09:38,884
Okay, since dickhole Thomas is out, the design's on you.

1747
01:09:38,984 --> 01:09:41,887
I've been told I have a great eye for color.

1748
01:09:41,987 --> 01:09:43,489
I can tell that just by looking at you.

1749
01:09:43,589 --> 01:09:45,758
Uh, we also need somebody to make new videos.

1750
01:09:45,858 --> 01:09:47,527
How about Leslie? Maybe he can help.

1751
01:09:47,627 --> 01:09:48,928
No, no, hell no.

1752
01:09:49,029 --> 01:09:50,563
We need somebody who already owns the equipment

1753
01:09:50,663 --> 01:09:52,032
and would do it for free.

1754
01:09:53,433 --> 01:09:55,568
Oh, you know what?

1755
01:09:55,668 --> 01:09:57,337
I think I know a guy.

1756
01:09:59,539 --> 01:10:01,107
So let me get this straight.

1757
01:10:01,207 --> 01:10:05,845
My ex-girlfriend who dumped me for watching porn now wants

1758
01:10:05,945 --> 01:10:08,781
to hire me to make porn.

1759
01:10:08,881 --> 01:10:10,383
I do see the irony.

1760
01:10:10,483 --> 01:10:11,251
But think of it this way.

1761
01:10:11,351 --> 01:10:14,154
If we're successful, then you can use this

1762
01:10:14,254 --> 01:10:15,955
to finance all your shitty indies.

1763
01:10:16,056 --> 01:10:17,457
You should work on your pitch.

1764
01:10:17,557 --> 01:10:19,592
I'm offering you a chance to make porn, Orson.

1765
01:10:19,692 --> 01:10:20,960
That's my pitch.

1766
01:10:25,265 --> 01:10:28,968
I'm gonna need money for crew, sets, wardrobe, actors.

1767
01:10:29,069 --> 01:10:30,670
-Well, there is no money. -(SCOFFS)

1768
01:10:30,770 --> 01:10:32,672
I mean, there's no money right now.

1769
01:10:32,772 --> 01:10:34,040
There will be eventually.

1770
01:10:34,140 --> 01:10:36,976
But right now all we need are little TikTok-sized videos.

1771
01:10:37,077 --> 01:10:40,113
Okay? Just bite-sized itty-bitty videos.

1772
01:10:40,213 --> 01:10:44,117
And when I think of itty-bitty, oh, I think of you.

1773
01:10:45,018 --> 01:10:46,352
That's just not nice.

1774
01:10:46,452 --> 01:10:47,520
Sorry.

1775
01:10:47,620 --> 01:10:50,056
Look, do you want to make fucking pornos or not?

1776
01:10:55,561 --> 01:10:57,663
Yeah. Yeah, I do.

1777
01:10:57,763 --> 01:10:58,764
I want to make the porns.

1778
01:10:58,864 --> 01:10:59,699
(CHUCKLES)

1779
01:10:59,799 --> 01:11:01,034
Great.

1780
01:11:03,136 --> 01:11:05,138
So I tell the guy he's got a choice.

1781
01:11:05,238 --> 01:11:07,740
It's either rum and coke or the Easter Bunny.

1782
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:10,676
(LAUGHING)

1783
01:11:13,346 --> 01:11:14,714
Yeah.

1784
01:11:14,814 --> 01:11:18,284
Anyway, ladies, what would you say

1785
01:11:18,384 --> 01:11:20,553
to increasing your earning potential?

1786
01:11:20,653 --> 01:11:22,688
Um, yeah.

1787
01:11:22,788 --> 01:11:24,090
Oh, Roger,

1788
01:11:24,190 --> 01:11:28,394
you know that I'm powerless when it comes to a seafood tower.

1789
01:11:28,494 --> 01:11:29,529
Okay.

1790
01:11:29,629 --> 01:11:32,665
Well, listen, if we can count on Trojan advertising

1791
01:11:32,765 --> 01:11:33,866
on our site,

1792
01:11:33,966 --> 01:11:35,401
you can count on me only wearing clamshells.

1793
01:11:35,501 --> 01:11:37,970
Every time you post on social media,

1794
01:11:38,071 --> 01:11:40,706
you tag Spread and you get paid.

1795
01:11:40,806 --> 01:11:42,008
-Cool. -Yeah.

1796
01:11:42,108 --> 01:11:44,410
And listen, a little birdie told me that

1797
01:11:44,510 --> 01:11:47,447
blow-me-finger-me-make-me-cum needs some product placement.

1798
01:11:47,547 --> 01:11:48,381
So what's the catch?

1799
01:11:48,481 --> 01:11:50,916
-No catch. -Oh, you naughty boy.

1800
01:11:51,017 --> 01:11:52,352
So is that a yes?

1801
01:11:52,452 --> 01:11:55,555
So anytime we post something, we just tag Spread and get paid?

1802
01:11:55,655 --> 01:11:56,589
It's that simple.

1803
01:11:56,689 --> 01:11:57,723
Hello, Murray.

1804
01:11:57,823 --> 01:11:59,892
What if they're fetish videos?

1805
01:11:59,992 --> 01:12:01,861
-Even better. -Fine, Murray.

1806
01:12:01,961 --> 01:12:03,496
-Be that way. -Girl on girl.

1807
01:12:03,596 --> 01:12:07,067
Girl on girl, on girl, on girl. I love it.

1808
01:12:07,167 --> 01:12:10,236
Please tell me that Cum On Us has us covered?

1809
01:12:10,336 --> 01:12:11,737
Completely? Head to toe?

1810
01:12:11,837 --> 01:12:14,207
-Bondage. -Of course, bondage.

1811
01:12:14,307 --> 01:12:16,742
-Of course. -Felching.

1812
01:12:16,842 --> 01:12:17,743
There's an audience for that.

1813
01:12:18,978 --> 01:12:19,979
(SIGHS)

1814
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:21,514
My work here is done.

1815
01:12:22,815 --> 01:12:24,750
(PHONE RINGING)

1816
01:12:24,850 --> 01:12:27,320
-Ruby. -Hello?

1817
01:12:27,420 --> 01:12:29,489
ORSON: (ON PHONE) Hey, it's Orson. Again, I need your help.

1818
01:12:29,589 --> 01:12:31,157
I'm having a problem getting a location.

1819
01:12:31,257 --> 01:12:32,258
Okay, we'll just figure it out.

1820
01:12:32,358 --> 01:12:33,659
ORSON: (ON PHONE) Oh, for fuck's--

1821
01:12:33,759 --> 01:12:35,095
I've had an idea.

1822
01:12:35,195 --> 01:12:36,129
Wait, where have you been?

1823
01:12:36,229 --> 01:12:37,663
I'm using the swag closet as my office now.

1824
01:12:37,763 --> 01:12:38,798
It's really inspiring in there.

1825
01:12:38,898 --> 01:12:40,400
Anyway, picture this.

1826
01:12:40,500 --> 01:12:43,203
We host a contest to find Spread's biggest fan.

1827
01:12:43,303 --> 01:12:45,471
And the winner gets swag from the closet

1828
01:12:45,571 --> 01:12:47,440
and maybe a date with a pornstar even.

1829
01:12:47,540 --> 01:12:48,908
That's actually not a bad idea.

1830
01:12:49,009 --> 01:12:51,044
It's actually a great idea.

1831
01:12:55,981 --> 01:12:57,117
Yes?

1832
01:12:57,217 --> 01:12:58,718
You think I got a shot at winning the contest?

1833
01:12:58,818 --> 01:13:00,286
I think we would be hard pressed

1834
01:13:00,386 --> 01:13:02,388
finding somebody more obsessed than you.

1835
01:13:02,488 --> 01:13:04,124
Yes! I got this!

1836
01:13:10,930 --> 01:13:11,897
(GASPS)

1837
01:13:11,997 --> 01:13:14,567
-Dearest? -Nelson, just Ruby, please.

1838
01:13:14,667 --> 01:13:17,070
Just Ruby, please?

1839
01:13:17,170 --> 01:13:19,639
Can I show you the design?

1840
01:13:19,739 --> 01:13:20,673
Yeah, sure.

1841
01:13:21,841 --> 01:13:26,146
(CLICKING)

1842
01:13:27,413 --> 01:13:30,716
Well, for positives, it's-- you know, it's super fast.

1843
01:13:36,589 --> 01:13:38,158
Here.

1844
01:13:38,258 --> 01:13:40,093
What's this?

1845
01:13:40,193 --> 01:13:41,694
It's the design.

1846
01:13:41,794 --> 01:13:43,329
-Really? -Mm-hmm.

1847
01:13:43,429 --> 01:13:47,000
-Why? -Because Nelson is colorblind.

1848
01:13:47,100 --> 01:13:48,601
That explains so much.

1849
01:13:50,170 --> 01:13:52,072
This is amazing.

1850
01:13:52,172 --> 01:13:53,339
Thank you.

1851
01:13:53,439 --> 01:13:55,875
For the record, I do believe in empowering women.

1852
01:13:55,975 --> 01:13:57,443
But...

1853
01:13:59,012 --> 01:14:00,346
...I am afraid of failure.

1854
01:14:00,446 --> 01:14:03,016
-Oh. -And success.

1855
01:14:03,116 --> 01:14:04,784
-Oh. -It's complicated.

1856
01:14:04,884 --> 01:14:06,086
(CHUCKLE)

1857
01:14:06,186 --> 01:14:08,154
Get a room!

1858
01:14:10,723 --> 01:14:12,758
-He needs to get laid. -Yeah, he does.

1859
01:14:12,858 --> 01:14:14,160
But nobody will fuck him.

1860
01:14:14,260 --> 01:14:17,263
-Nope. -Oh, well, isn't this sweet?

1861
01:14:17,363 --> 01:14:20,233
This guy had the Spread logo tattooed on his penis.

1862
01:14:20,333 --> 01:14:21,734
I mean, like this, it just says SD,

1863
01:14:21,834 --> 01:14:22,902
but when it gets hard...

1864
01:14:23,003 --> 01:14:23,703
-Really? -Yeah.

1865
01:14:23,803 --> 01:14:24,837
Let me look at that.

1866
01:14:26,172 --> 01:14:28,641
Oh, yeah, that-- it's impressive.

1867
01:14:28,741 --> 01:14:30,410
-Mm-hmm. -That must have been painful.

1868
01:14:30,510 --> 01:14:32,045
It was. For him, I bet.

1869
01:14:32,145 --> 01:14:33,446
The guy.

1870
01:14:34,580 --> 01:14:37,250
Hey! Waste of space. Yeah?

1871
01:14:37,350 --> 01:14:39,019
What are the old people doing in the conference room?

1872
01:14:39,119 --> 01:14:40,220
-Huh? -Huh?

1873
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:41,421
The old people.

1874
01:14:41,521 --> 01:14:43,823
The three wrinkly amigos in the conference room.

1875
01:14:43,923 --> 01:14:45,925
Oh, they're working on the app.

1876
01:14:46,026 --> 01:14:47,027
Are you deaf or something?

1877
01:14:47,127 --> 01:14:48,294
Frank said no to the app.

1878
01:14:48,394 --> 01:14:49,862
He didn't say no actually.

1879
01:14:49,962 --> 01:14:50,996
Oh.

1880
01:14:51,097 --> 01:14:52,098
Well, then I want in.

1881
01:14:52,198 --> 01:14:53,699
Yeah, that's never happening.

1882
01:14:53,799 --> 01:14:56,902
You've been trying to sabotage me since day one.

1883
01:14:57,003 --> 01:14:59,072
You were so threatened that a woman

1884
01:14:59,172 --> 01:15:00,240
could actually have some good ideas

1885
01:15:00,340 --> 01:15:02,608
and that those good ideas, my ideas,

1886
01:15:02,708 --> 01:15:04,910
might just prove that you're a misogynist

1887
01:15:05,011 --> 01:15:06,979
dressed up as a dumbass.

1888
01:15:07,080 --> 01:15:08,748
A McDumbass.

1889
01:15:10,116 --> 01:15:12,085
(EXHALES)

1890
01:15:12,185 --> 01:15:13,819
-You're gonna regret that. -Okay.

1891
01:15:13,919 --> 01:15:14,887
Yeah.

1892
01:15:18,091 --> 01:15:19,425
Fuck, man.

1893
01:15:22,528 --> 01:15:23,763
I think we have our winner.

1894
01:15:23,863 --> 01:15:24,597
Ooh.

1895
01:15:24,697 --> 01:15:26,499
Yeah, I think you should read it.

1896
01:15:26,599 --> 01:15:28,501
Even made Hank feel an emotion.

1897
01:15:29,602 --> 01:15:31,104
I mean, this guy is saying that Spread

1898
01:15:31,204 --> 01:15:33,106
helped him stay faithful to his wife

1899
01:15:33,206 --> 01:15:35,508
for the entire five years he was deployed.

1900
01:15:35,608 --> 01:15:36,542
Yeah.

1901
01:15:36,642 --> 01:15:38,044
Of course, there is always this guy who had

1902
01:15:38,144 --> 01:15:39,779
the Spread logo tattooed on his penis.

1903
01:15:39,879 --> 01:15:42,115
-Ew. -Yeah.

1904
01:15:42,215 --> 01:15:43,549
It's your father.

1905
01:15:47,020 --> 01:15:48,988
(SIGH)

1906
01:15:49,089 --> 01:15:50,723
(TOGETHER) Fuck.

1907
01:15:54,060 --> 01:15:55,561
(DOOR OPENS)

1908
01:15:55,661 --> 01:15:57,363
(KEYS JINGLES)

1909
01:15:57,463 --> 01:15:58,364
ORSON: Yeah, yeah.

1910
01:15:58,464 --> 01:16:00,833
(ORSON GRUNTING IN BACKGROUND)

1911
01:16:00,933 --> 01:16:04,037
LEXI: (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

1912
01:16:04,137 --> 01:16:06,772
ORSON: Yeah, yeah, take that injection.

1913
01:16:06,872 --> 01:16:08,908
LEXI: Uh-huh, yeah, I need a big prescription

1914
01:16:09,009 --> 01:16:10,043
of a spanking.

1915
01:16:10,143 --> 01:16:12,012
Yeah, take this penis, silly.

1916
01:16:12,112 --> 01:16:13,846
-Orson! -Ruby!

1917
01:16:13,946 --> 01:16:16,382
-Lexi! -Ruby!

1918
01:16:16,482 --> 01:16:18,351
Oh, you're the ex-girlfriend.

1919
01:16:18,451 --> 01:16:19,452
Yeah, lucky me.

1920
01:16:19,552 --> 01:16:21,454
Orson, what the fuck are you doing?

1921
01:16:21,554 --> 01:16:23,556
What you asked, making porn!

1922
01:16:23,656 --> 01:16:25,325
Why are you doing this in my apartment?

1923
01:16:25,425 --> 01:16:26,792
-I have a roommate. -I have a roommate!

1924
01:16:26,892 --> 01:16:29,295
Oh, I told you I was having trouble finding a location.

1925
01:16:29,395 --> 01:16:30,863
You told me to figure it out.

1926
01:16:30,963 --> 01:16:32,365
I figured it out.

1927
01:16:32,465 --> 01:16:33,766
You still have my key?

1928
01:16:33,866 --> 01:16:36,002
Oh, no, baby, always return the key.

1929
01:16:36,102 --> 01:16:38,238
Look, you want these movies done by your deadline,

1930
01:16:38,338 --> 01:16:39,505
you're gonna have to be a little flexible.

1931
01:16:39,605 --> 01:16:40,640
Okay, can we just have a little chat

1932
01:16:40,740 --> 01:16:42,275
without your penis inside of her?

1933
01:16:42,375 --> 01:16:43,876
-Oh, no, it's out. -Are you sure?

1934
01:16:43,976 --> 01:16:45,378
No, it isn't.

1935
01:16:45,478 --> 01:16:46,646
Okay, now it's out.

1936
01:16:46,746 --> 01:16:48,114
And I thought you were gonna hire some guy

1937
01:16:48,214 --> 01:16:50,083
to help you do this, not do it yourself.

1938
01:16:50,183 --> 01:16:51,317
Well, you didn't give me the money

1939
01:16:51,417 --> 01:16:54,554
to hire some stunt cock, so I'm doing it gonzo.

1940
01:16:54,654 --> 01:16:56,422
All from the guy's perspective holding the camera.

1941
01:16:56,522 --> 01:16:58,258
Well, I need production value.

1942
01:16:58,358 --> 01:16:59,392
What do you expect?

1943
01:16:59,492 --> 01:17:01,461
I don't have any money for sets, crew, nothing.

1944
01:17:01,561 --> 01:17:03,429
I had to pay Lexi with my own rent money.

1945
01:17:03,529 --> 01:17:04,597
Totally worth it, by the way.

1946
01:17:04,697 --> 01:17:06,032
Aw.

1947
01:17:06,132 --> 01:17:09,402
Listen, I know I disappointed you as a boyfriend,

1948
01:17:09,502 --> 01:17:12,605
but I will not disappoint you in this, okay, Ruby?

1949
01:17:12,705 --> 01:17:13,773
I got this.

1950
01:17:13,873 --> 01:17:15,641
I went to USC.

1951
01:17:17,110 --> 01:17:18,678
(SIGHS)

1952
01:17:18,778 --> 01:17:22,482
Okay. Okay, fine, just get the videos done, all right?

1953
01:17:22,582 --> 01:17:23,683
And when you're finished,

1954
01:17:23,783 --> 01:17:25,385
wash the fucking sheets, all right?

1955
01:17:25,485 --> 01:17:27,487
And for the love of God, hand her the camera

1956
01:17:27,587 --> 01:17:28,454
once in a while, okay?

1957
01:17:28,554 --> 01:17:30,623
Change the POV.

1958
01:17:30,723 --> 01:17:31,891
POV?

1959
01:17:31,991 --> 01:17:34,627
POV, power? Power of vagina. That's good.

1960
01:17:34,727 --> 01:17:37,063
Lexi, get familiar with the zoom.

1961
01:17:37,163 --> 01:17:38,331
-Uh-huh. -(CHUCKLES)

1962
01:17:38,431 --> 01:17:41,367
-(DOOR CLOSES) -And Orson, leave the damn key!

1963
01:17:44,837 --> 01:17:47,373
You guys did this?

1964
01:17:47,473 --> 01:17:49,409
You guys did this with no money?

1965
01:17:49,509 --> 01:17:51,077
Everybody worked above and beyond.

1966
01:17:51,177 --> 01:17:52,812
We did all of it for you, Frank.

1967
01:17:54,147 --> 01:17:55,781
Let's party.

1968
01:17:55,881 --> 01:17:57,350
(ALL LAUGH)

1969
01:17:57,450 --> 01:17:58,718
I don't believe it.

1970
01:17:59,685 --> 01:18:03,089
Here's to an amazing team.

1971
01:18:03,189 --> 01:18:07,327
Ruby, a big thanks for

1972
01:18:07,427 --> 01:18:09,962
shoving us into the modern world.

1973
01:18:10,063 --> 01:18:11,631
(CHUCKLES)

1974
01:18:11,731 --> 01:18:12,365
Cheers.

1975
01:18:12,465 --> 01:18:14,134
Cheers.

1976
01:18:17,170 --> 01:18:18,071
Two.

1977
01:18:19,939 --> 01:18:21,841
You're gonna show Sizemore, the bastard,

1978
01:18:21,941 --> 01:18:22,842
before the luau?

1979
01:18:22,942 --> 01:18:23,876
That's the plan.

1980
01:18:23,976 --> 01:18:28,181
No matter what happens, I'm proud of you.

1981
01:18:28,281 --> 01:18:29,749
And no matter what happens,

1982
01:18:29,849 --> 01:18:32,218
you will always be my favorite porn lord.

1983
01:18:32,318 --> 01:18:33,753
-Porn lord? -Mm-hmm.

1984
01:18:33,853 --> 01:18:37,157
Any title with the word lord in it, I accept.

1985
01:18:37,257 --> 01:18:38,424
(CHUCKLE)

1986
01:18:39,625 --> 01:18:41,994
-Mm. -Are you okay?

1987
01:18:42,095 --> 01:18:42,962
Yes, sir.

1988
01:18:43,063 --> 01:18:44,397
A cappuccino will be there when you arrive.

1989
01:18:44,497 --> 01:18:46,532
Uh, uh, he's not here.

1990
01:18:46,632 --> 01:18:48,401
Um, 9:00 a.m. to Geneva.

1991
01:18:48,501 --> 01:18:49,502
-Yes, I got it. -Wait a minute.

1992
01:18:49,602 --> 01:18:51,571
Is that him, Mr. Sizemore?

1993
01:18:51,671 --> 01:18:52,738
He's not interested.

1994
01:18:52,838 --> 01:18:55,175
Sorry, sir. It's just her again.

1995
01:18:55,275 --> 01:18:56,642
Did he tell you he's not interested?

1996
01:18:56,742 --> 01:19:00,480
No. He actually said he doesn't give two shits.

1997
01:19:00,580 --> 01:19:02,648
Fuck, that does sound like him.

1998
01:19:02,748 --> 01:19:04,550
Yes, sir. Already done.

1999
01:19:04,650 --> 01:19:06,152
I just hit my panic button.

2000
01:19:06,252 --> 01:19:07,953
Security will be here momentarily.

2001
01:19:08,054 --> 01:19:08,788
But I just need one minute

2002
01:19:08,888 --> 01:19:09,889
with him to show him the numbers.

2003
01:19:09,989 --> 01:19:11,724
Look, we made the app. We made the app, sir!

2004
01:19:11,824 --> 01:19:13,259
We made the app, and it's great.

2005
01:19:13,359 --> 01:19:15,428
Spread has value! It's worth saving!

2006
01:19:15,528 --> 01:19:17,530
Security has tasers.

2007
01:19:20,700 --> 01:19:22,702
Yes, sir. She's gone.

2008
01:19:22,802 --> 01:19:25,471
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS, WHIRS)

2009
01:19:25,571 --> 01:19:27,440
Another 2,000 followers on Twitter.

2010
01:19:27,540 --> 01:19:28,508
Awesome, Hank.

2011
01:19:28,608 --> 01:19:30,676
Closed an ad deal with smashmydaddy.com.

2012
01:19:30,776 --> 01:19:31,677
Great.

2013
01:19:31,777 --> 01:19:33,146
The processing speed of the UI functionality--

2014
01:19:33,246 --> 01:19:34,214
-English. -It's fast.

2015
01:19:34,314 --> 01:19:35,415
Perfect.

2016
01:19:35,515 --> 01:19:36,549
Someone pissed in your coffee again?

2017
01:19:36,649 --> 01:19:38,484
No. No, I'm just tired.

2018
01:19:38,584 --> 01:19:39,852
Well, I can fix that.

2019
01:19:39,952 --> 01:19:42,455
How about dinner, Cadillac margaritas at my place?

2020
01:19:42,555 --> 01:19:43,656
Are you asking me out on a date?

2021
01:19:43,756 --> 01:19:45,925
We can call it “a drunken sex rendezvous”.

2022
01:19:46,026 --> 01:19:47,327
Couple of alcoholics.

2023
01:19:47,427 --> 01:19:48,861
I-- I-- I can't tonight, Thomas.

2024
01:19:48,961 --> 01:19:51,997
I'm sorry. Another time, okay?

2025
01:19:52,098 --> 01:19:53,099
Yeah.

2026
01:19:53,199 --> 01:19:54,467
Whatever.

2027
01:19:54,567 --> 01:20:00,806
(♪♪♪)

2028
01:20:00,906 --> 01:20:03,409
(CHUCKLES)

2029
01:20:03,509 --> 01:20:07,880
(PHONE RINGS)

2030
01:20:09,649 --> 01:20:11,017
Why aren't you ready for the party?

2031
01:20:11,117 --> 01:20:12,052
I can't go, Whit.

2032
01:20:12,152 --> 01:20:12,985
I can't.

2033
01:20:13,086 --> 01:20:17,023
I can't watch my-- my friends get fired.

2034
01:20:17,123 --> 01:20:20,860
And-- and Thomas asked me out on like a real date-ish,

2035
01:20:20,960 --> 01:20:22,762
and it's just-- it's all too weird.

2036
01:20:22,862 --> 01:20:25,898
I'm gonna be home soon and I'm not going alone.

2037
01:20:25,998 --> 01:20:28,001
You need to get drunk, be there for your friends

2038
01:20:28,101 --> 01:20:30,036
when they get fucked, and then come to terms

2039
01:20:30,136 --> 01:20:33,039
with your feelings for Thomas, and get fucked yourself.

2040
01:20:33,806 --> 01:20:34,874
I wish it were that simple.

2041
01:20:34,974 --> 01:20:36,409
WHITNEY: (ON VIDEO CALL) Look on the bright side.

2042
01:20:36,509 --> 01:20:38,111
You now have major experience.

2043
01:20:38,211 --> 01:20:40,113
You're gonna get the job at the Sophisticate,

2044
01:20:40,213 --> 01:20:43,083
and no one will ever know you worked at Spread.

2045
01:20:43,183 --> 01:20:44,417
Yeah.

2046
01:20:44,517 --> 01:20:45,885
WHITNEY (ON VIDEO CALL): Oh, dude.

2047
01:20:45,985 --> 01:20:47,420
You can't let it go down like this.

2048
01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:49,055
There has to be a way.

2049
01:20:49,822 --> 01:20:51,557
Downloads are off the charts.

2050
01:20:51,657 --> 01:20:53,626
Our engagement metrics are through the roof.

2051
01:20:53,726 --> 01:20:54,960
Revenue is climbing.

2052
01:20:55,061 --> 01:20:58,264
But that asshole, Sizemore, who's gonna be at the luau--

2053
01:20:58,364 --> 01:21:00,200
So he can fire everybody.

2054
01:21:00,300 --> 01:21:02,702
Yeah, he doesn't give a shit.

2055
01:21:02,802 --> 01:21:04,637
I mean, unless I could--

2056
01:21:04,737 --> 01:21:06,539
Unless I could figure out a way to show him at the party

2057
01:21:06,639 --> 01:21:07,507
in front of everyone.

2058
01:21:07,607 --> 01:21:09,475
But I mean, is that insane?

2059
01:21:09,575 --> 01:21:12,512
Absolutely insane and I love it.

2060
01:21:12,612 --> 01:21:14,247
Now, go get ready.

2061
01:21:14,347 --> 01:21:15,381
I'll be home soon.

2062
01:21:15,481 --> 01:21:24,724
(♪♪♪)

2063
01:21:37,937 --> 01:21:39,739
I'm gonna go find Sizemore.

2064
01:21:39,839 --> 01:21:41,307
I'm going for the bar.

2065
01:21:43,309 --> 01:21:45,011
Ruby, I was looking for you.

2066
01:21:45,111 --> 01:21:47,080
-Hi, Hank. -I wanted to ask you a question.

2067
01:21:47,180 --> 01:21:47,713
Yeah, can I-- can I talk to you one minute?

2068
01:21:47,813 --> 01:21:49,215
Okay, it's like this.

2069
01:21:49,315 --> 01:21:52,085
Okay, I don't have a lot of family of my own.

2070
01:21:52,185 --> 01:21:53,819
Right, and I don't mean to interrupt you, but--

2071
01:21:53,919 --> 01:21:56,089
And when you get to be older like me,

2072
01:21:56,189 --> 01:21:59,459
you start worrying about certain things like dying.

2073
01:21:59,559 --> 01:22:01,761
-Oh, wow, Hank. -Let me finish.

2074
01:22:01,861 --> 01:22:05,565
I have an elderly companion.

2075
01:22:05,665 --> 01:22:08,501
Well, Shirley is a real pain in the ass,

2076
01:22:08,601 --> 01:22:10,170
but I love her.

2077
01:22:10,270 --> 01:22:11,104
What are you gonna do?

2078
01:22:11,204 --> 01:22:14,974
Well, when I die, I want somebody to care for her.

2079
01:22:15,075 --> 01:22:16,809
I think you know where this is going.

2080
01:22:16,909 --> 01:22:18,011
I don't.

2081
01:22:18,111 --> 01:22:21,714
I wondered if you would look after Shirley when I'm gone.

2082
01:22:23,316 --> 01:22:24,817
Um, I...

2083
01:22:26,519 --> 01:22:28,454
My cat?

2084
01:22:28,554 --> 01:22:30,223
Shirley's my cat.

2085
01:22:31,491 --> 01:22:32,892
Oh.

2086
01:22:32,992 --> 01:22:34,494
Yes, yes, Hank, no problem, okay?

2087
01:22:34,594 --> 01:22:35,695
-Don't you worry. -Okay, okay.

2088
01:22:35,795 --> 01:22:38,431
-All right, okay. Off you go. -Okay. Okay. Okay.

2089
01:22:38,531 --> 01:22:40,233
-Do you want some water? -No.

2090
01:22:40,333 --> 01:22:42,668
-Whoa! -Oh, shoot, sorry.

2091
01:22:42,768 --> 01:22:44,237
My hands are still sticky.

2092
01:22:45,438 --> 01:22:47,140
From the margarita, silly.

2093
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:48,174
Okay.

2094
01:22:50,443 --> 01:22:52,045
Oh, great party.

2095
01:22:52,145 --> 01:22:52,612
I got laid.

2096
01:22:52,712 --> 01:22:54,047
ORSON: Ruby, Ruby,

2097
01:22:54,147 --> 01:22:56,016
my videos are getting thousands of views.

2098
01:22:56,116 --> 01:22:58,951
I'm basically like the handsome Ron Jeremy.

2099
01:22:59,052 --> 01:22:59,719
Yeah, the whole time you were--

2100
01:22:59,819 --> 01:23:01,221
That's not good.

2101
01:23:02,355 --> 01:23:04,090
(KISSES)

2102
01:23:04,190 --> 01:23:05,958
Aloha.

2103
01:23:06,059 --> 01:23:06,992
(CHUCKLES)

2104
01:23:08,928 --> 01:23:14,434
Ruby, Ruby, you look perfect.

2105
01:23:14,534 --> 01:23:16,169
I purchased these for you.

2106
01:23:16,269 --> 01:23:17,237
Don't eat them.

2107
01:23:17,337 --> 01:23:18,871
They're toxic to ingest.

2108
01:23:18,971 --> 01:23:22,142
-Okay, I won't. -What's up, hot stuff?

2109
01:23:22,242 --> 01:23:24,910
You want to go fool around in the swag closet?

2110
01:23:28,781 --> 01:23:29,749
May I have those back?

2111
01:23:29,849 --> 01:23:32,085
Oh, wait, oh Nelson, I'm so sorry.

2112
01:23:32,185 --> 01:23:33,386
What do you say?

2113
01:23:33,486 --> 01:23:35,121
A shag in the swag?

2114
01:23:35,221 --> 01:23:37,057
No, no, gross.

2115
01:23:37,157 --> 01:23:38,991
Okay, if I freaked you out about asking you to go to dinner,

2116
01:23:39,092 --> 01:23:40,626
then we can go back to hate fuck.

2117
01:23:40,726 --> 01:23:41,727
No, no, I don't hate you, Thomas.

2118
01:23:41,827 --> 01:23:43,896
I just-- I have to go find Sizemore.

2119
01:23:44,997 --> 01:23:46,599
Hey, Ruby Doobie. Great party.

2120
01:23:46,699 --> 01:23:47,733
I can't talk right now, dad.

2121
01:23:47,833 --> 01:23:49,702
I just said-- okay, all right.

2122
01:23:51,437 --> 01:23:52,305
Get out of my way.

2123
01:23:52,405 --> 01:23:53,539
Check your Instagram.

2124
01:23:53,639 --> 01:23:55,075
-What? -Yeah.

2125
01:23:57,610 --> 01:24:00,380
What the fuck?

2126
01:24:00,480 --> 01:24:02,748
-You hacked my account? -Yeah.

2127
01:24:02,848 --> 01:24:04,284
And you spelled love with a U?

2128
01:24:04,384 --> 01:24:05,451
That's right.

2129
01:24:05,551 --> 01:24:07,487
Check TikTok, Twitter, LinkedIn.

2130
01:24:07,587 --> 01:24:08,554
Shit, shit, shit. What the fuck?

2131
01:24:08,654 --> 01:24:10,756
Ah, that's right, guys.

2132
01:24:10,856 --> 01:24:12,592
-She's ashamed of Spread. -No, I'm not!

2133
01:24:12,692 --> 01:24:14,127
You think we all suck.

2134
01:24:14,227 --> 01:24:16,462
RUBY: Guys, don't listen to him. He's an asshole.

2135
01:24:16,562 --> 01:24:17,863
Okay, I'm an asshole.

2136
01:24:18,831 --> 01:24:20,866
Boom. “Ruby.

2137
01:24:20,966 --> 01:24:22,702
I can't believe I fucked him.”

2138
01:24:22,802 --> 01:24:24,870
“Whitney. At least it wasn't Orson.”

2139
01:24:24,970 --> 01:24:27,607
“Ruby. I jumped from one sleazebag to another.

2140
01:24:27,707 --> 01:24:29,375
This place is disgusting.

2141
01:24:29,475 --> 01:24:32,112
Everybody here is so gross.”

2142
01:24:33,179 --> 01:24:34,747
-No. -Thank you very much.

2143
01:24:34,847 --> 01:24:36,049
No, no, no, no, no.

2144
01:24:36,149 --> 01:24:37,183
You guys, you guys, please, you have to believe me.

2145
01:24:37,283 --> 01:24:38,484
I said that such a long time ago.

2146
01:24:38,584 --> 01:24:39,385
It's before I knew you.

2147
01:24:39,485 --> 01:24:40,386
I was so close-minded.

2148
01:24:40,486 --> 01:24:41,921
Please, you have to forgive me.

2149
01:24:43,456 --> 01:24:45,358
What the fuck is your problem?

2150
01:24:45,458 --> 01:24:47,093
You're my fucking problem.

2151
01:24:47,193 --> 01:24:48,428
Okay, you might have everybody else here fooled,

2152
01:24:48,528 --> 01:24:49,662
but not me.

2153
01:24:49,762 --> 01:24:51,831
You should just leave, nobody wants you here.

2154
01:24:51,931 --> 01:24:53,099
You don't belong.

2155
01:24:55,435 --> 01:24:57,770
Hank, I'm sorry. I didn't...

2156
01:24:59,572 --> 01:25:00,773
(SIGHS)

2157
01:25:01,907 --> 01:25:03,076
You're a piece of shit.

2158
01:25:04,444 --> 01:25:07,580
(CHUCKLES) Fucking great.

2159
01:25:07,680 --> 01:25:11,251
-You're fired. -Are you serious?

2160
01:25:11,351 --> 01:25:12,885
Well, then fuck, I quit!

2161
01:25:12,985 --> 01:25:15,355
-MARCIA: Ruby. -Marcia.

2162
01:25:16,389 --> 01:25:17,690
Funny seeing you here.

2163
01:25:17,790 --> 01:25:19,259
Yeah, yeah, you too.

2164
01:25:19,359 --> 01:25:23,929
I just came, because um, it's a crazy party, right?

2165
01:25:24,030 --> 01:25:26,566
Yeah, pretty crazy.

2166
01:25:26,666 --> 01:25:28,034
I'm glad I ran into you.

2167
01:25:28,134 --> 01:25:31,671
I mentioned that the job was down to two candidates.

2168
01:25:31,771 --> 01:25:33,039
I have to tell you something.

2169
01:25:33,139 --> 01:25:36,342
I-- I know that I told you that I worked for The Atlantic,

2170
01:25:36,442 --> 01:25:37,943
but I lied.

2171
01:25:38,044 --> 01:25:38,911
I don't work for The Atlantic.

2172
01:25:39,012 --> 01:25:41,547
I work here at Spread.

2173
01:25:41,647 --> 01:25:43,149
I know.

2174
01:25:43,249 --> 01:25:45,318
And that's exactly why you're not the candidate

2175
01:25:45,418 --> 01:25:46,486
that's getting the job.

2176
01:25:46,586 --> 01:25:47,620
(CHUCKLES)

2177
01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:49,755
Yeah, I figured.

2178
01:25:49,855 --> 01:25:51,824
Spread's a real career killer, isn't it?

2179
01:25:51,924 --> 01:25:53,659
No, it isn't.

2180
01:25:53,759 --> 01:25:55,961
But lying is.

2181
01:25:56,062 --> 01:25:58,531
You shouldn't assume you know what people want.

2182
01:26:01,201 --> 01:26:02,702
-Frank. -FERRETTI: Marcia.

2183
01:26:02,802 --> 01:26:04,437
Oh, there you are.

2184
01:26:04,537 --> 01:26:08,274
PEARL: (ON SPEAKER) Attention everyone, Mr. Sizemore has an announcement.

2185
01:26:08,374 --> 01:26:10,876
Dad! Xtasy!

2186
01:26:10,976 --> 01:26:11,877
Oh, hey sweetie

2187
01:26:11,977 --> 01:26:13,979
You've met Xtasy.

2188
01:26:14,080 --> 01:26:15,381
Um, you two should talk.

2189
01:26:15,481 --> 01:26:17,017
Um. Talk.

2190
01:26:17,117 --> 01:26:18,551
Huh.

2191
01:26:18,651 --> 01:26:20,020
What-- what the fuck is going on?

2192
01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:21,387
I'm sorry. We should have told you sooner.

2193
01:26:21,487 --> 01:26:23,356
And I realize we shouldn't mix business and pleasure,

2194
01:26:23,456 --> 01:26:24,890
but I guess it runs in the family.

2195
01:26:24,990 --> 01:26:26,026
That's not funny.

2196
01:26:26,126 --> 01:26:27,860
I like Thomas and I can see you're happy,

2197
01:26:27,960 --> 01:26:29,229
even if you won't admit it.

2198
01:26:29,329 --> 01:26:31,497
Listen, Ruby, since we've been hanging out together

2199
01:26:31,597 --> 01:26:33,599
at Spread, I feel so alive.

2200
01:26:33,699 --> 01:26:34,800
And being with Xtasy

2201
01:26:34,900 --> 01:26:36,402
has made me feel 30 years younger.

2202
01:26:36,502 --> 01:26:37,403
Dad, I don't know.

2203
01:26:37,503 --> 01:26:40,040
I'm happy you're happy, but this is just a lot.

2204
01:26:40,140 --> 01:26:41,941
I know, sweetie, but sometimes things happen,

2205
01:26:42,042 --> 01:26:43,409
and you've got to just do what feels right,

2206
01:26:43,509 --> 01:26:45,378
you know?

2207
01:26:45,478 --> 01:26:47,713
Yeah. Yeah, it's true.

2208
01:26:47,813 --> 01:26:48,648
PEARL: (ON SPEAKER) Please come now.

2209
01:26:48,748 --> 01:26:49,815
I've got to go.

2210
01:26:49,915 --> 01:26:51,684
Hey, family vacations are gonna be fun, huh?

2211
01:26:51,784 --> 01:26:52,985
Cray cray.

2212
01:26:54,287 --> 01:26:55,255
Okay, bye.

2213
01:26:57,457 --> 01:26:59,759
Hey, I'm really so sorry to interrupt, Mr. Sizemore,

2214
01:26:59,859 --> 01:27:01,961
but I just wanted to make sure you saw this.

2215
01:27:05,165 --> 01:27:06,899
Okay, you know what?

2216
01:27:07,767 --> 01:27:09,335
Yes, it's true.

2217
01:27:09,435 --> 01:27:13,506
When I first came here, I thought Spread was disgusting.

2218
01:27:13,606 --> 01:27:16,042
And you know, granted, that's partially because

2219
01:27:16,142 --> 01:27:18,011
I was asked to organize dildos on the first day,

2220
01:27:18,111 --> 01:27:21,014
but you didn't need to know that.

2221
01:27:21,114 --> 01:27:24,017
Anyway, when I got here, I was jobless

2222
01:27:24,117 --> 01:27:26,319
and I had nothing.

2223
01:27:26,419 --> 01:27:30,390
I judged these people for what they did for a living.

2224
01:27:30,490 --> 01:27:33,793
But the truth is, these people work harder,

2225
01:27:33,893 --> 01:27:35,128
and they take more pride

2226
01:27:35,228 --> 01:27:38,564
in their jobs than most normal people I know.

2227
01:27:38,664 --> 01:27:40,733
I mean, you know what I mean.

2228
01:27:40,833 --> 01:27:42,168
(SIGHS)

2229
01:27:42,268 --> 01:27:45,838
I came here lost, and I really, really needed somebody

2230
01:27:45,938 --> 01:27:47,573
to believe in me.

2231
01:27:47,673 --> 01:27:51,611
And I think Spread needed someone to believe in them.

2232
01:27:51,711 --> 01:27:54,380
And I'm really happy we found each other.

2233
01:27:54,480 --> 01:27:55,481
And you know what?

2234
01:27:55,581 --> 01:27:56,682
The relationships in my life have never been better.

2235
01:27:56,782 --> 01:28:00,720
I mean, my dad, he's found love,

2236
01:28:00,820 --> 01:28:03,323
it seems, which is great for him.

2237
01:28:03,423 --> 01:28:07,593
My ex-boyfriend is finally getting into film.

2238
01:28:07,693 --> 01:28:08,661
Maybe not in the way he thought,

2239
01:28:08,761 --> 01:28:11,564
but honestly, in a way that makes sense for him.

2240
01:28:13,233 --> 01:28:16,436
And I met somebody

2241
01:28:16,536 --> 01:28:19,605
who I actually have a real connection with

2242
01:28:19,705 --> 01:28:21,141
for the first time in my life.

2243
01:28:22,742 --> 01:28:26,012
So, yeah, I can't believe I'm saying this,

2244
01:28:26,112 --> 01:28:29,082
but this place is pretty fucking amazing.

2245
01:28:29,182 --> 01:28:33,619
But most importantly, Spread is a fucking gold mine.

2246
01:28:33,719 --> 01:28:36,422
It's a gold mine. I mean, anybody could see it.

2247
01:28:36,522 --> 01:28:39,592
Since our launch, revenue is up over 200%.

2248
01:28:39,692 --> 01:28:42,195
But unfortunately, it doesn't matter,

2249
01:28:42,295 --> 01:28:45,198
because Mr. Sizemore is just gonna flush it all away,

2250
01:28:45,298 --> 01:28:47,367
which is funny, because I thought

2251
01:28:47,467 --> 01:28:50,236
if nothing else, you were a smart businessman.

2252
01:28:50,336 --> 01:28:51,604
But I guess I was wrong.

2253
01:28:52,938 --> 01:28:55,775
So, yeah, I just wanted to tell you

2254
01:28:55,875 --> 01:28:58,511
that you're making a huge mistake

2255
01:28:58,611 --> 01:29:00,080
and that it's been real.

2256
01:29:02,982 --> 01:29:04,750
I'm with her.

2257
01:29:04,850 --> 01:29:08,821
If you can't see what these kids and Hank are capable of doing,

2258
01:29:08,921 --> 01:29:11,491
then you have no need to fire me.

2259
01:29:13,559 --> 01:29:14,760
I quit.

2260
01:29:14,860 --> 01:29:23,703
(♪♪♪)

2261
01:29:35,281 --> 01:29:36,749
Hello, everyone.

2262
01:29:41,887 --> 01:29:44,490
I just wanted you all to have a good night.

2263
01:29:44,590 --> 01:29:46,392
Cheers.

2264
01:29:46,492 --> 01:29:48,128
Wait, what?

2265
01:29:48,228 --> 01:29:49,795
What's that about?

2266
01:29:49,895 --> 01:29:50,963
You're annoying,

2267
01:29:51,064 --> 01:29:52,532
but I think you have what it takes.

2268
01:29:52,632 --> 01:29:53,399
I'm gonna invest in you.

2269
01:29:53,499 --> 01:29:55,201
You have one year to turn Spread around.

2270
01:29:55,301 --> 01:29:57,203
Do not disappoint me.

2271
01:29:59,739 --> 01:30:00,806
Off.

2272
01:30:00,906 --> 01:30:02,375
Sorry, sorry.

2273
01:30:02,475 --> 01:30:04,177
Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Sizemore.

2274
01:30:04,277 --> 01:30:05,711
You won't regret this.

2275
01:30:05,811 --> 01:30:11,051
So, I didn't really mean I quit when I said I quit, I quit.

2276
01:30:11,151 --> 01:30:11,951
Are you gonna hug me, too?

2277
01:30:12,052 --> 01:30:14,687
Oh God, no, you're terrifying.

2278
01:30:14,787 --> 01:30:17,690
Then your job is safe for now.

2279
01:30:21,027 --> 01:30:23,263
-We did it. -No, you did it, kid.

2280
01:30:23,363 --> 01:30:26,399
And I'm so proud of you.

2281
01:30:26,499 --> 01:30:28,534
(CHUCKLES)

2282
01:30:28,634 --> 01:30:33,106
I think that means it's time to spread this party wide open.

2283
01:30:33,206 --> 01:30:34,540
Let's party!

2284
01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:37,810
(CHEERING)

2285
01:30:37,910 --> 01:30:39,112
(INDISCERNIBLE SPEECH)

2286
01:30:39,212 --> 01:30:41,047
Oh, no, Thomas, I'm sorry.

2287
01:30:41,147 --> 01:30:44,050
Oh, that's okay, I think you made up for it.

2288
01:30:44,150 --> 01:30:47,287
(KISSING)

2289
01:30:53,759 --> 01:30:55,095
(CHUCKLES)

2290
01:30:55,195 --> 01:30:56,596
Oh, Nelson.

2291
01:30:56,696 --> 01:30:58,698
(YELLS)

2292
01:31:02,168 --> 01:31:10,043
(♪♪♪)

2293
01:31:10,143 --> 01:31:12,078
Would you like these florals?

2294
01:31:12,178 --> 01:31:13,913
They look nice, but are toxic to ingest.

2295
01:31:14,014 --> 01:31:15,715
(EXHALES)

2296
01:31:15,815 --> 01:31:17,750
I love orchids.

2297
01:31:17,850 --> 01:31:18,951
You have pretty teeth.

2298
01:31:19,052 --> 01:31:20,453
I like your hair.

2299
01:31:21,521 --> 01:31:23,956
What's your favorite animal?

2300
01:31:24,057 --> 01:31:25,725
This is Timmy.

2301
01:31:25,825 --> 01:31:27,493
He can't hurt me anymore.

2302
01:31:27,593 --> 01:31:29,295
Hi, Timmy.

2303
01:31:29,395 --> 01:31:30,896
Beetles or Stones on three.

2304
01:31:30,996 --> 01:31:32,332
1, 2, 3.

2305
01:31:32,432 --> 01:31:33,099
(TOGETHER) Coldplay.

2306
01:31:33,199 --> 01:31:34,500
(GASPS)

2307
01:31:34,600 --> 01:31:38,804
(♪♪♪)

2308
01:31:38,904 --> 01:31:39,672
PRUDENCE: Morning, Bob.

2309
01:31:39,772 --> 01:31:41,641
Oh my God, P, Roger?

2310
01:31:41,741 --> 01:31:42,575
No, it's Stanley.

2311
01:31:42,675 --> 01:31:43,876
I can't wait for the bachelorette.

2312
01:31:43,976 --> 01:31:45,578
Hey, how's Shirley?

2313
01:31:45,678 --> 01:31:47,347
Yeah, still alive.

2314
01:31:47,447 --> 01:31:50,083
Ooh, looking good, you guys.

2315
01:31:50,183 --> 01:31:52,785
-THOMAS: Morning, Glory. -Oh, you wish.

2316
01:31:52,885 --> 01:31:54,220
Beyond proud of you.

2317
01:31:54,320 --> 01:31:56,222
-Oh gosh. -You gonna get out on time?

2318
01:31:56,322 --> 01:31:57,323
Reso's a firm 8:00 p.m.

2319
01:31:57,423 --> 01:31:58,858
Yes, we gotta celebrate.

2320
01:31:58,958 --> 01:32:00,493
-Hm. -It's on your desk.

2321
01:32:00,593 --> 01:32:03,763
-Thank you. -Hey, Roobs, guess what?

2322
01:32:03,863 --> 01:32:06,299
We're up 37%.

2323
01:32:06,399 --> 01:32:08,534
Sizemore, the bastard, gave the thumbs up

2324
01:32:08,634 --> 01:32:09,335
to keep going.

2325
01:32:09,435 --> 01:32:10,670
That's amazing, Frank.

2326
01:32:10,770 --> 01:32:12,272
Dream team.

2327
01:32:15,141 --> 01:32:17,177
There she is, the queen of porn!

2328
01:32:17,277 --> 01:32:19,212
-That's my title. -Oh, right, sorry.

2329
01:32:19,312 --> 01:32:20,546
We have a special announcement

2330
01:32:20,646 --> 01:32:22,982
and we wanted you to be the first to know.

2331
01:32:23,083 --> 01:32:24,684
Okay.

2332
01:32:24,784 --> 01:32:26,452
My squirter still works.

2333
01:32:26,552 --> 01:32:30,523
-We're having a baby! -(SQUEALS, LAUGHS)

2334
01:32:30,623 --> 01:32:32,392
Oh, I'll get the saltines.
2333
01:3