In three, two…
Let's go
Welcome toThe Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 2 Reunion.
I'm JoAnna Garcia Swisher.
It has been one year since the Ultimatum came to term.
And today, we are diving in to find out what has unfolded
since the big decision.
Have any of the couples tied the knot?
Had a change of heart? Faced any regrets?
Everyone is back, and nothing is off the table.
Boom, I'm shaking up
Shake, shake, shake
For the win, win Twist and shout
Time to shake it up
Boom, I'm shaking up
Shake, shake, shake
Watch me shake it Ice in my cup, shake it up
Wildfire!
Hi!
Can you feel the power?
You're like a mermaid.
Hey, Ashley.
Ice in my cup Shake it up
You all look amazing.
-You too. -Thank you.
This season ended in an unprecedented five out of six couples
taking the leap and getting engaged.
I can't wait to hear how things are going.
You have to remember, it has been a year.
We're looking back at it, and it's just like, a lot did happen.
We leaned into it.
We all had deep, meaningful connections.
Absolutely.
We really appreciate
-the growth that we had with one another. -Yeah.
I went into this thinking nothing could break us up,
and I almost left not knowing who Haley was.
And now I'm like, that was a year ago. That was crazy.
We were all in a crazy situation. Like, shit.
But now I'm like, truly am rooting for everyone.
And like, maybe we won't all be best friends from this experience,
but I'm not in a place where I need to cut you or cut this,
like what happened, because that's just not where we're at.
Yeah.
Okay. Let's get into it.
Britney and AJ.
-Hey. -Hi.
Last we saw you, you were celebrating an engagement.
How does it feel to be an engaged couple?
It's been awesome.
I think we grew stronger in our love, which was amazing.
You know, we gained a stronger fellowship with God for ourselves.
And then…
Does it feel different?
I feel like, a bit, yeah.
I feel like we've developed a sense where we're just more in tune with each other,
more attentive to each other,
and everything that we both learned during ourUltimatumexperience,
we've been applying it to our real lives.
-Yes. -I've learned work-life balance.
-Okay. -And being attentive to my baby.
-I love that. -It's been great.
Watching your love story just grow, I felt like it was really heartwarming,
especially because it felt like you guys had these incredible realizations
and you really met each other in such a great place.
If I'm being real honest and frank here,
I think some of that I have to attest to Marita,
because Marita actually let me know, "If it would be the business or you,
she would choose you every time."
And Marita opened my eyes
to understand that Britney is doing this business for us…
-Yes. -…to build a future for us.
And Marita, you know I always tell you I'm so grateful for you
because I don't think I'd be sitting here together on this couch
with the love of my life if it wasn't for you.
I appreciate you saying that.
I would also say it was more than just us being friends.
We emotionally connected on such a deep level
that helped us both grow.
And I think that that's part of the experience.
I love hearing that it is about building together and dreaming together.
That's what creates that unbreakable bond.
Absolutely.
I had to make sure she got right because the ring I got her before
wasn't what it needed to be.
I definitely upgraded because I appreciate it.
Let me see it. Oh, my Lord. Okay. Yes.
-Definitely had to give an upgrade. -Yes, you did.
AJ, we learned a lot about you through this experience.
And oftentimes, it was narrated by you.
-So let's take a look. -Oh God.
Just ready to put single AJ to the test
and see what kind of AJ we're going to get.
Everybody has something to give AJ.
And I don't know what it is that AJ may need.
People got a little piece of AJ and liked it.
-She's so cute. -I don't know who this AJ is.
We could be talking to a whole different AJ right now.
She knows she wants to marry AJ.
Where does that leave AJ?
Honesty about what AJ's doing,
and when AJ's talking
and when AJ's asking.
There's a lot AJ needs to work on before maybe even thinking about marriage.
Still.
There's no days off for AJ. Like, it's all the time.
That's what makes AJ, AJ.
Oh my God.
-That was funny. -I love that. That was hilarious.
I have a question for you. Now that you've watched everything back,
do you feel that AJ was a little too forward during dating week?
Yes. Ten out of ten.
-Ten out of ten? Okay. -Yeah.
Would you like to expand?
Marita warned me beforehand. "You're not gonna like our conversations."
And then seeing how she was speaking that way with everybody,
like, yeah, it's a little odd to me,
but that's just like my own mind where I don't understand it
'cause, like, that's not specifically what I was here for.
It's just like every conversation AJ had with everybody was just,
it was very, like, sexual.
AJ as a person just connects with everybody she meets.
She's going to find the heart in somebody that she's talking to.
She's going to get to know them on a personal level,
but it's not like it was malicious.
I feel like AJ was being AJ.
Right.
I was like, even from my perspective, I feel like AJ was just being… you.
I know who I am and what I bring to the table and what I can bring,
um, especially, and I know what I lack.
I think during dating week,
I was just trying to figure out what it was that I needed in those times.
There was a lot that was talked about, a lot of deep conversations,
a lot of romantic conversations. There was a lot.
And I was trying to navigate that the best way AJ knew how.
And the best way I knew how.
-Again, here we go. -Again, right?
I got to work on that.
Um, but yeah.
Marie, during your trial marriage,
you said that you had never felt more alone.
Do you think that AJ could have done more for you as a trial wife?
AJ did the best that AJ could.
There's nothing more to that?
No.
Have you stayed close with AJ after this experience?
No.
I did not stay close.
I'm sad a little bit though.
You don't need to be. Do not.
I'm sad we still don't have some type of relationship outside
because I think I was trying to give you space.
Is that what you want, a relationship outside?
-We live down the street. -Be my friend?
Whoa, what's that face, Brit?
No, I'm just like, yeah.
-I said that to you when I saw you last. -Mm-hmm.
Britney, do you have anything to say to Marie
after watching back their trial marriage?
Your trial marriage started off beautifully.
I totally understand why you guys chose each other.
I can see where the switch flipped for you.
When AJ shared that she saw me
when I was literally losing my freaking mind.
So I think after that, that's where things went downhill for you.
What you shared with me also at some of the cocktail parties is,
like, that you felt like AJ wasn't there for you. Um…
And even when I dug a little deeper and tried to figure out why,
it did seem like it was just something that
you maybe were blaming AJ for, when it didn't necessarily stem from her.
Britney, watching episodes one to nine
and seeing how much you felt towards the situation
that was not nearly as romantic
truly, like, struck something with me
because you were struggling on your own accord
and you had a best friend to get through it.
As you guys saw, me and Marita ended up with each other untraditionally,
what we mentally prepared for, and what the show calls for.
-Which I'm so happy worked out. -But are you blaming me for that?
-Of course not. Not at all. -That's what it sounds like.
If me and Marita ended up together
and we made the best out of our trial marriage,
what does that have to do with your trial marriage?
I'm speaking on the fact that it was a very different experience.
Whereas I saw Mel with Dayna versus AJ seeing you with Marita,
you can't actually see that was different?
-I see that it's different. -Okay.
We see that.
The fact that it's different, I will never…
Let's say everything was reversed.
I wouldn't be mad at someone else.
-Nobody's mad. -Then why's it being brought up?
Because it's a conversation. It's a reunion. That's what this is, right?
I was taking my dog out all the time, obviously,
and she probably felt abandoned and stuff, and didn't have someone to talk to
'cause you two were always together, sneaking around.
-Like, you two were always outside. -Whoa, time out.
-Not being… -You guys owned up to it.
I think what Marie's trying to say, and correct me if I'm wrong.
-I don't want to speak for you. -I'd love to correct you.
I think you're trying to get at the fact that you were continuing to see each other
and so you had each other, in some way, as a support system.
I was very transparent with Marie about everything,
about what was going on and what me and Britney were doing
as far as us seeing each other.
Because right now she's my priority as my trial marriage wife,
and I asked and I said, "Are you okay with this?"
Respect is above all.
And if you can truly empathize on that notion, both of you,
as a couple, as a unit, as a Mrs. and Mrs.,
if you can truly empathize on that notion,
you will fully, 100% see where I'm coming from.
I think you're holding a grudge or some type of anger or animosity,
whatever that word is, towards us
just because AJ saw me at a time that I was vulnerable and needed her.
When I'm sure you saw Mel.
-Yeah, and she didn't say hi to me. -But that isn'tourissue.
I understand, but do you empathize as a human to human?
Absolutely.
And I'm not holding animosity to it.
I hated that for you.
Like, truly. Like, that wasn't okay.
I even told Mel that wasn't okay.
I'm just speaking on the fact that it was a very different experience.
I'm not attacking anyone. I'm speaking as clear, concise,
empathetic as possible.
I'm trying to be so soft with everybody
because there's a lot in me right now,
which anybody who watched episodes one to nine will understand.
Yes.
I think what you went through was extremely hard.
If there's anything I could've done, I pray you let me know that
because that's the only way I could truly grow.
No, you did what… like, no.
I'm grateful for what it was.
I learned a lot… throughout that period of time.
But truly, wholeheartedly, I'm happy you guys are happy.
Okay, well.
So do you guys have a wedding date?
Not yet. No wedding date.
-We think we have a city in mind. -Yes.
-Destination. Okay. -Yeah.
Got to fly to be out there.
Do they serve oxtail wherever you're going?
Oh, boy.
Probably not.
We've been kind of planning ideas,
but haven't actually made plans.
Well, enjoy that because it is a really magical time in a relationship.
-It's fun. I wish you the best. -Thank you.
Okay, let's move on to a couple who decided to go their separate ways.
In a unique twist of events,
the one that issued the Ultimatum ended up not wanting to get engaged in the end.
Ashley and Marita.
Marita, catch us up.
Have you spoken to Ashley since the experience?
Yeah.
On decision day when Ashley and I split,
I was heartbroken, and I didn't know what to think.
I didn't know how to feel.
And then when we went back, she was still kind of just using me,
and I kicked her out, and I told her to go back to Indiana.
And I did break up with her, and that was in May.
Okay, for context, we never got back together after the show.
She was upset 'cause we didn't leave engaged.
And we went to Key West after that. We had a great time.
Want to know what happened?
-The day after… -I can't even finish my sentences.
…I asked the producers to get me a hotel room because I was heartbroken.
You asked my dad for his blessing, and then the next time I saw you,
you didn't propose to me.
I was heartbroken, Ashley. I was in love with you.
Yeah, I mean, same.
-I begged you the past year to be with me. -You packed my car… to go to the Keys.
"Because none of the show mattered."
"All of that was for show."
"None of that matters. I still love you."
You know what? That's called gaslighting.
Actually, no. I just didn't let myself be completely myself
because there were cameras around.
And, like, that's just me.
-I don't have this personality to-- -I know the truth behind you.
Let's talk about the fact that my grandfather… was dying.
I was home in California,
and this one
was cheating on me.
-You guys were together? -No.
-Yes, we were. -But she's allowed to date.
If you aren't together…
-Let Marita talk. -…she'll do what she wants.
You saying you were together?
You know what? I'm just gonna sit here until you let me talk.
I don't know why you're facilitating this conversation.
It has nothing to do with you.
Were you together with Ashley or no?
Yes.
Do you want to count the times you cheated? I can name five right now.
I've done nothing…
I actually fucking hate you.
I hope you know that.
-I definitely can't. -Time out.
Yeah, just so you know, my grandma is dying right now.
Yeah, I don't care. Guess what? You didn't care either.
-You cheated on me. -You don't mean that.
All right. Let's settle down, everyone.
-Sorry. -I'm sorry.
Yeah, get out.
-Marita. -Just rude…
Come on, let's go.
Like, she's literally… I won't even get to say bye to her.
Check on my baby.
-Listen, can I give you a hug, my love? -Yes.
-Thank you. -I love you so much.
I love you.
It's a pressure cooker. You guys are very raw.
I know that things are heated, and everybody has their perspectives.
Even if you don't agree, I really would like to give you
an opportunity to speak your truth,
and I would love to offer Ashley the same thing
when she comes back and when she feels ready.
You're not bad.
-I loved her so much. -I know.
I know. You're going through so much right now.
You're going through so much.
I'm very sorry about your grandma, grandpa.
Both.
Thanks.
But I'm also sorry about her parents too, and that wasn't nice.
Sorry I didn't cheat on someone while her grandfather was killed.
I'm sorry I didn't cheat on someone either, babe.
I see you. I'm right here.
Let's simmer.
Okay.
-You didn't deserve it. -Bro, like…
She literally was so…
I know.
I knew she was going to do this, and I didn't do that.
This is a really emotional, intense moment,
and my only hope is that I can just be of service to you all here,
and I do really care about what all of you feel and think.
I apologize.
That was not how I expected everything to go down, and I apologize.
I'm glad you guys are back. Ashley, how are you doing?
Uh…
Yeah, I mean, not good. Um…
It hurts to hear Marita scream that
because, like, her and I talked and, like,
you know, I owned up on accountability of, like,
where I handled situations wrong in that time,
and it's just, like, crazy to me because I could never, like,
scream that I hate her.
Um… 'Cause I don't.
During those months of not speaking to her and she blocked me,
I was sitting there bawling my eyes about her, but I got to a point
where I started healing, and I started realizing my worth.
And that's why, sitting here right now,
yeah, I was nervous this was going to happen because, like,
we haven't communicated like adults about it.
I understand there's a lot of emotions,
but let's just take it back to the time in Miami.
And, Marita, I'm just interested to hear what your thoughts were when you heard
that Ashley was reversing on giving the Ultimatum.
Like, what did that make you feel?
I didn't know that Bridget, Ashley, and Kyle had that conversation.
It did hurt.
I didn't know that you were convincing Ashley to reverse the Ultimatum on me,
and I didn't appreciate that.
And, yeah, I mean, throughout the episodes,
it just kind of seems like you didn't really put in much effort…
and you even said that.
There was no lack of love.
Like, Ashley loved you so much,
and I'm sure she still does, like she's saying now.
And there was no convincing her to reverse an ultimatum.
That was never the case. We talked so often about
where Ashley needed to grow, and where she wanted to grow,
and, like, what she was working on.
The way that I said about reversing the Ultimatum
was because we kind of had a rough first week,
and, like, we were arguing.
There's so many times I cried about, like, the thought of losing you.
We had a great relationship.
I still get emotional.
Because it's tough, you know.
It's like I lost my best friend.
I'm sorry.
How does it feel hearing that?
I mean, I agree.
I'll never forget the relationship that we had.
I think that… there are a lot of highlights,
and I was absolutely fully in love with you.
Do you think there's any chance of a reconciliation?
I mean, I eventually, like, hope so and, like, hope, like, we could talk.
I'll be honest. Like, I do think about her a lot.
She is someone that, like, you know, I'm always going to care for.
I mean, I think for me, like, it's going to take time,
given, like, how we ended,
'cause truly, what you did to me,
it's heart… It's heartbreaking.
Well, thank you so much for sharing.
I'm glad that you at least got to say some things today that
hopefully led to some healing…
-Yeah. -…or understanding each other better.
Okay.
Let's move on to Mel and Marie.
I can't help but state the obvious.
You guys are on different sides of the room.
You're not sitting together,
and that's a really big shift from where we left you.
So, Mel, can you share the status of your relationship with Marie?
"With Marie" is nonexistent.
Period.
What happened?
Before we get into that, I have a question.
Dayna.
We had very full-length conversations
about how you thought Mel was invaluable to you.
-Yeah. -Did you and Mel hook up
before sitting next to me and talking to me?
Yeah, we had kissed by the time that we had a cocktail party.
And more than that?
After the first cocktail party would've been where something more happened.
After the cocktail party.
It was hard to even watch myself.
Like, seeing your pain was really, like, genuinely so hard to see,
and, like, the guilt that… I feel
just, like, not sharing that with you…
I guess, in that moment, I justified.
I guess I justified that it wasn't my place,
and I think that it was delusional at the time to think that
with everything that had happened,
that there was an appropriate point of having a friendship,
and it wasn't fair to you.
I'm so sorry.
Okay.
Please, continue.
I don't know what we were talking about.
The question was what happened with us.
-You don't want to be with me anymore. -Mm.
Is that true?
I mean, I broke up with her.
Ironically enough, before the episodes aired.
How embarrassing would that have been?
When did you break up?
A couple months after… we came back home.
I started trying to do things a little bit more individual.
Just, I kind of set boundaries a little bit more.
I didn't want to do food truck as much as I needed to.
I know the person who I had said yes to
was very hesitant on many different reasons.
Did you really think I didn't know that you couldn't have kids?
Mm-hmm.
Like, really?
Okay.
I've known you for, like, your whole life.
What else?
When you found out that you had lupus, you think I didn't do deep-dive research?
-Where did all the lupus books go? -Give me more.
What else did you know?
This isn't a jab, Mel. It's a conversation.
I'm speaking.
Really? Because it sounds like you're jabbing.
This is how I speak. Did you forget?
Can't answer a question with a question.
Okay.
Now that I'm triggered,
what is up with those Brussels sprouts? Why would you make those?
Why are you so triggered about that?
Dayna, did you like the Brussels sprouts?
Marie, I promise I don't understand the relevance.
-Did you watch the episodes? -Yeah, but--
She made you Brussels sprouts. You remember them?
-Yeah, but I don't-- -I know you don't.
I'm gonna explain it to you. Did you like them?
Yeah.
Marie, come on. Like, stop doing this.
It's the most asinine things that you're like…
It's not asinine.
-It's asinine? Are you serious? -Brussels sprouts, bro.
Who taught you how to make those?
-You didn't teach me anything. -Crazy.
-So that's funny. -That's cute.
Who's running the food truck business now?
This guy.
Which will do well.
-Thanks. -You don't need me.
But I do want to touch a little bit on Haley.
At one of the cocktail parties, you had a conversation with Marie,
um, sharing with her that Dayna and Mel
were a little bit more romantically inclined,
and that you had some receipts.
So I'm wondering, is the Spotify playlist the receipt?
Yes. Yeah.
Okay.
Let's take a look at the investigation behind the alleged proof.
Both of your accounts opened up, and all there's been was sex playlists.
Like a sex playlist?
-I don't know what kind of proof that is. -How did their Spotify end up on their TV?
It's a shared private playlist only shared between Mel and Dayna
called "Three Weeks" with a rainbow emoji and a ring emoji.
I don't think that's proof. Like, there's probably good songs on there.
Maybe they just wanted to listen to them.
The playlist does have some horny songs, and they are being played
at suspicious times of the night.
There's no way you're cleaning your house listening to some boom-boom music.
Why is this relevant? It's a playlist. Be for real.
You're talking about a goddamn playlist. Please just simmer down. Honestly.
Do you have a sex playlist?
-So you have one? -Absolutely. You need a sex playlist.
Dayna was like, "Magan's wanted me to get Spotify for so long
and I'm not gonna," but then she got it for me.
-So I was kind of like, sorry. -Damn.
-It's all good. -Jesus Christ.
-I wanna know about this playlist. -I'm glad I'm single. I'm gonna say that.
-I want to hear it. -There was not one sex song.
Yeah, that would be a very sad sex playlist.
It was the saddest…
If that's a sex playlist, it was the saddest ever,
because they were all heartbreak songs, love songs.
Like, it was not…
There was not one song of that nature on there.
I think to go to the extent to say a playlist is proof
that people are doing things…
One, wasn't your place. Two, is insane.
Like, you should have just minded your business that pays you.
Were you or were you not doing things though?
Magan was the one that called it proof initially.
It was probably the wrong word for it.
And I should not have reiterated the words "proof," "receipts," whatever.
Doesn't… it… That's not what it was.
You didn't say a word at the party about what was going on between you.
Even though everyone knew, you didn't say anything.
-I know you didn't either. -I did tell Pilar.
Well, good for you, but that wouldn't have been anyone else's place.
-So-- -But I think if I have suspicions of it,
I think that it is my place to tell my friend…
-Agree. -…my suspicions.
I don't think it's fair for Haley.
Because whatever the case may be,
something did happen.
-Fair. -Period.
Okay, seeing that cocktail party back,
Haley didn't blankly say that Mel and Dayna had sex.
I know that we can all define sex differently.
So, let's take a look at what some of you consider sex to be.
-Oh, God. -Oh, Jesus.
People define sex between couples differently.
Sexual cuddling.
That might be sex.
If you ask like a hetero couple, it's like, well, you know, like, you know?
That's it.
But with lesbians and queer people, there's just such a broad way to say sex.
Let me tell you.
If you twiddle her pussy, guess what, that might be sex to one group, right?
You eat me, I eat you.
Done. Good night.
Penetration of any sorts.
If you shove, like, any object in her, that might be sex.
You like a five-dollar Footlong or a ten-inch dick?
-I don't know. -Stop it.
You have to use your mouth, your fingers.
It has to be every part that you can use.
I'm trying not to be too, like, graphic.
I define sex as, like, oral pleasure.
Me and Mel, we did not have sex in that way.
We didn't finger each other. Anything like that.
Sex looks different for everybody. So…
What you deem as sex, I might not deem as sex.
Oh, God, don't say that.
Touching.
That's intimacy.
Period.
Next thing you know, she lied off of a technicality on what sex means.
So, Mel, by definition, did you have sex with Dayna?
By whose definition?
Your definition.
It's honestly no one's business.
And I'm tired of, like, people thinking it's their business.
This is between me and Mel
and whoever we share our personal lives with.
We did not have sex. I will leave it at that.
Things happened between us.
If they would like to get into it, they're welcome.
Me and Magan have had our own conversations.
Everyone else, mind your fucking business.
Okay.
Mel, during your trial marriage with Dayna,
Marie did confront you in the car asking you if you had sex with Dayna.
So let's clear the air here.
Do you feel like you lied to her in that moment?
Um, I felt like by not telling her anything intimate at all happened,
yes, I lied.
But I think that if we're going off of, you know,
exactly what we just spoke about and technicality of all this and all that,
then no.
So I was using, like, I'm not going to say a loophole,
but, like, no, we didn't have sex because we hadn't gone to that extent.
But to not say that anything other than, like, you know, whatever happened,
then yes.
Magan, we saw that you had a hard time processing
what was going on during Dayna and Mel's trial marriage.
-Yeah. -Watching everything back now,
how are you feeling?
I mean, if I'm being completely honest,
like, when Dayna and I come together,
we have, like, a certain type of energy together.
And when her and Mel came together,
they had their own type of energy.
I also exhibited a different energy
than what Dayna and I have with Haley.
And we both leaned into it.
Now we're just understanding how to be better partners
and really just understand what we need individually.
Yeah, I love that.
Okay, Mel, have you reached out to Dayna since Ultimatum Day?
I have not.
She had reached out to me.
Dayna, what did you reach out to Mel about?
I actually tried to FaceTime her because I'm a FaceTimer.
So I tried to FaceTime her, she didn't answer.
So I just sent her a message instead.
She ghosted me for, like, two months.
I think about two months later, she reached out like,
"Hey, got your message, appreciate it."
"We're cool."
And that was that, really. Yeah.
You guys got matching tattoos during the process.
Yeah.
What do those mean to you now?
The thought behind it when we got the tattoos
was, like, there's potentially going to be a big chance
we aren't going to be in each other's lives after this.
So I think when it came to the tattoo, it was like,
well, at least we'll have this thing.
Anyone who was in here and had a connection
with their trial partner can understand. It is a very deep connection.
So for me, that's where, like, the value stood in the tattoo.
I didn't need to get a tattoo. We could have got a henna.
Yeah.
But I think the intention behind it, I don't regret.
And I don't, like, take back the idea
of having, like, a meaningful, symbolic representation.
I felt like at points, like, with Dayna, it would be like,
well, who can be stupider?
Like, who can make the worst decision?
Then we're both just kind of like, "Okay, let's go with it."
There was a point where we were like, we'll make dumb decisions and regret it.
And it was just like, why would we think that's, like, a good idea?
So, I don't know.
We constantly said we were very similar.
And I think that that was, like, the epitome of, like,
not the bad sides of us, but just the irresponsible sides of us
that were just, like, hyping each other up all the time.
Marie, is there anything left that you want to say to Mel?
No.
Mel, anything to Marie?
No.
Okay.
Thank you both for sharing with us today.
The Ultimatumis no doubt a real test.
And this season, as each of you faced its challenges,
there seemed to be one common place for comfort that you all had.
And that was the love that you had for your fur babies.
Let's take a look.
-Is Bentley gay? -I think he is.
Like mother, like son.
Whoever I end up with is going to have to accept him basically as my child.
She just, like, gives him more attention.
I'm like, "I'm here too."
If she's taking away, like, my blanket and giving it to him,
that means I'm cold.
My son, Bello, my bunny.
Bello!
We are a package deal.
You're getting a little manicure.
He's definitely a certified lover bunny.
My cats are very important to me.
Beth!
I hate when you say it like that.
She's very obsessed with her cats.
But, like, honestly, it's very cute.
Don't get jealous of our love.
Duke, give me a pound.
Besides my dad and my brother,
like, he's like the third man I've ever loved in my life.
Doesn't he look handsome?
Hello.
I have cats, which I know maybe doesn't mean anything to many people,
but I have a family.
Maybe it's not the same thing, but family really is what you make of it.
Having Duke here, it'll be an interesting dynamic
to see him live with cats.
Hi!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Okay, stop.
What was you thinking?
The number one gay rule in life is pussy always wins.
Okay, let's move on to a couple that brings their own distinct flavor
to everything they do, and their love story is no exception.
Kyle and Bridget. Give us an update.
How are you guys doing?
I'm pregnant.
Just kidding. We can't afford that.
-We're good. -We're engaged.
We're living together.
How has that been?
It's great.
I mean, I think I was hesitant just because, like, things were so good,
and I didn't want to mess up a good thing.
And I think I've moved fast in the past, and so with our relationship, I mean…
We got together quickly, but, like,
I felt like we waited until we were desperate to live together.
-I think that's how it should be. -Yeah.
What are some things you learned about each other
now that you're living together that you love, maybe don't love?
Like, what is it?
I think we're both pretty type B.
Yeah, we're very similar.
Yeah, and, like…
-Kind of a mess. -It could be a mess.
Bridget's, like, really not…
She leaves things out a lot, so it's just…
It's hard when, like, no one is, like, the one that's like,
"We need to clean."
We, like, plan cleaning, and then we, like, don't,
and it's just, like, I'll find Bridget, like, laying on the bed.
"You're supposed to be putting clothes away."
I'm supposed to be cleaning.
-Yeah. -Um…
-I'm cooking for her. -There you go. We talked about that.
-Pilar talked about that. -Sharing a life together.
-Yeah. -Like, every Sunday, we switch off.
Like, one of us cooks, reconnect, talk about the week.
But it's just made me love and appreciate Bridget more.
She's just, like, such a bizarre person.
She's, like…
We have crows that come,
so she's trying to entice them onto our patio.
They like cashews better than peanuts.
And I'll just watch her outside, just, like, looking for the birds.
The crow lady.
This might be one of my favorite things about you.
Yeah, I had the best time living with Bridget.
Like, Bridget's hilarious.
She's so funny.
-There's no boredom, so that's good. -That's huge.
So you mentioned that you didn't think that it was going to feel any different.
Does it feel different being engaged?
Our relationship is different, just after going through the show.
-Yeah. -I think our love is deeper in a way
because we've had to, like, navigate new challenges.
Yeah.
What was the turning point for you to make you want to take the next step?
My whole thing is that marriage, to me,
I didn't really understand what the big deal was
or, like, why anybody needs to do it.
That's why I wanted my trial marriage
to be about learning how people feel about marriage.
And maybe then I can understand it.
And it did help, but I think, ultimately,
this is a thing that matters a lot to the person that I love
that I want to spend my life with.
So, like, why am I… not embracing that?
Do you have any regrets about pushing Pilar towards Kyle?
I don't. I think Kyle is such a special person,
and I really wanted her to have a trial marriage with somebody
that I thought understood who she was and valued who she was.
And this being our first secure relationship,
I wanted Kyle to experience that with somebody else
so that I could have the confidence that it was me.
I wasn't setting anything up. They were going to choose each other.
We were just talking about it.
-You didn't have to choose someone for me. -Yeah, that's not what was happening.
Kyle, your parents, especially your mom, they were such a joy to watch,
and, um, they radiated so much warmth and love.
And in what ways has your mom shaped your view of love and marriage?
My parents, they, like, respect each other so much.
My mom is obviously, like, the one that shines,
but my dad… is, like…
I can tell he's so proud of her,
and just, like, so happy to be with her.
And they're both funny.
Yeah, they're both funny, and they have fun together
and just, like, don't take things too seriously.
Well, let's actually take a look at some additional words of wisdom
from Kyle's mom.
I have constantly been thankful for Bridget
to be in Kyle's life.
We know that they are better than if they were apart.
Just like theWickedsong,
"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."
Love each other.
Notice the fantastic things about each other.
Have grace for each other.
And make this world a better place.
That was cliché.
And that is my major advice.
-She's so cute. -Go, Mom.
What a sweetheart. So sweet.
Stealing our hearts.
The conversation that we had, I'll always hold that in my heart.
With my parents, I feel like I was always picturing a certain, like,
a conversation, a realization, like a big, like, apology, like a cry.
And I realized I can only control me.
Maybe that'll never come, or maybe it will come,
but, like, I can also forgive and move on.
I was like, "Damn, that's so simple when you say it like that."
That was a really, like, turning and pivotal point for me.
Just watching what you went through, it's really an inspiration.
I know it wasn't easy,
but it's incredible to see where you are now.
And I see that ring.
Yes, it's so beautiful.
But give us an update.
-Where do things stand between you two? -It's been really good.
I told Pilar once we left… She was dying to get a ring on her finger also.
And so I told her within the next year,
I would make sure that I made it a priority to get down on one knee.
And I did it less than a month later.
Aw.
Do we have a wedding date?
So we don't have a wedding date.
But one thing that we have started is planning for an elopement.
And that just kind of comes down to, like, the place and the world
that we're living in right now. Um…
I just kind of can't wait to have that kind of security.
Wherever we go, hopefully, I guess not everywhere,
-but you and your partner are safe. -Yeah.
We started our guest wedding list. We got stressed out. We're like,
"We're gonna put a pause on this." But yeah, we're really excited.
I better be on it.
-Of course. -Of course.
So I know family is a big thing for you, Pilar.
Have you been able to share your engagement with them?
Yeah.
It was definitely hard,
but I think the biggest thing through this experience
was really me letting go of, like, my attachment
of my self-worth to their acceptance.
Although it's not exactly the happy ending
or full-circle moment that I was hoping to give,
I feel like, in standing up for myself and having hard conversations with my parents,
it's led to doors being opened that I never thought would be opened.
I don't know what the wedding is going to look like exactly,
but for the first time, I feel so free and happy and just, like,
us and our love is, like, enough, and I don't need anything more than that.
I totally understand where you're coming from with your family.
Like, even though my family is coming around now,
it took so many years for them to even, like…
like, keep in their brain that, like, I was gay
and I wanted to be with a woman.
And, like, it was so push-and-pull for years,
and I felt rejected for years.
But I kept choosing myself, and I kept, like, living authentically.
Keep having faith, keep being yourself,
and anybody would be, like, blessed to be around you.
Thank you, I appreciate you saying that.
I feel like there is a big element
of applying what we learned through this experience.
Like you said, living authentically…
How can other people respect you if we don't respect ourselves?
We went to my cousin's wedding,
and that was the first time I've brought Haley around my extended family.
And I remember being like, "This is Haley."
And I did that, and I did that two more times,
and I was like, no, like, it feels wrong.
This is going against everything that I thought I was growing.
I don't want to go backwards.
And I started, like, no, "This is my fiancée, Haley."
The more I said that and looked people in their eyes, they were like…
If I said, "This is Haley,"
they'd be sheepish, then just kind of walk away.
Then I was like, "This is my fiancée, Haley."
They had to look me in the eye, like, "Nice to meet you. You look so beautiful."
And when I demanded that space… people can't back down.
That was a big turning point in me. This is all that it's about.
If you have something to say or don't respect me, fine. Like…
That's your problem, not mine.
-That's growth. -That's exactly what it is.
It's their problem and not yours.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
I love it.
So, Pilar, from your point of view,
what exactly did happen between you and Kyle
that night at the club?
I feel like we kissed at the club,
and what I felt in that time was so real.
And I still feel that. How we saw each other, how you made me feel,
and the growth we had, I feel like…
This one incident that we had clouded that entire experience and it took away.
I feel like we would've been really good friends.
I wish that I had just been better
at communicating with you how I was feeling,
because I did feel so close to you, like…
And I'm so glad we got over that and did have great moments, but…
I think I was just so confused with the connection that we had,
and I was selfish, and I don't know what I was thinking, honestly,
and I lost sight of the reason I was there.
Like, I really wish we could have just been, like,
there's clearly chemistry here,
but we want to be here to better ourselves for our partner.
If you'd just exactly said what you said, I would have been like, "Girl, yeah!"
That's what I wanted,
and I feel like that's what I was trying to get out of you.
And when we had that… that was a deep conversation with us.
I was like, yes, this is exactly why we're here also,
is we have so much to grow from this.
I just feel like I'm sad that this one thing took away.
When you first start dating somebody,
it would make a lot of sense for what happened to happen,
but there's this added layer of, "But I came here to leave with somebody
that I love and care about."
That aspect of, "There's a little bit of, like, chemistry here,"
and, like, interest and, like, "I've never been with anyone like you,"
it challenged us to show up… "How do we deal with this,
what does it mean for us, our partners, and how can we learn?"
-And I feel like that's why we came here. -Yeah, absolutely.
I was honestly taken aback when we…
After we took some time, and after pickleball…
And just how you were still, like, there.
Like, I know I was, like, crying in the episode,
but, like, I just wasn't used to that,
and, like, having that blow up and then having you be like,
"No, we're going to work through this." It really did… Sorry.
Aw.
-Kyle. -Can I hug you?
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
And I'm… sorry that, like, things…
I feel like everyone, like, we ended our trial marriages
on such a good note, and by the end of the experience,
like, no one was talking, um,
which is too bad, but…
Pilar, you expressed coming into this that your worst fear
was that Haley would fall in love with someone else.
What was the hardest part of watching everything unfold
with Haley and Magan?
It was just confusing, everything that was happening.
It's not exactly that they fell in love,
because that's always a possibility.
But I was like, if you're going to pursue Magan
or if things that you guys have developed
were stronger than our relationship, I want you to do that.
Please do that. Just don't make me look stupid.
But she was always avid that it was always us,
and I was like, okay, so I just took it as an opportunity
that there was something I wasn't doing or a void that I clearly created.
I just didn't prioritize Haley, and I realized how much
I had pushed her to the side in, like, our relationship.
And I just wanted to take that to be better for her
and understand where she was coming from,
and what Magan was providing that I clearly wasn't.
Like, the work-life balance and, like, prioritizing us,
yeah, that's a big learning point for us
in our relationship and our growth.
Okay. Well, I have to ask.
Haley, what was it like to be in love with two people at one time?
I know you described your love in a different way,
but you were at a crossroads.
I mean, you kind of feel bad on both sides,
because on the one hand, like,
I'm having to tell my partner of ten years,
like, "Yes, I could have feelings for this other person."
But how do you fully articulate
how different those feelings are?
I think that the physical component is, like, what makes it a lot harder.
Mm-hmm.
The combination of the two, that, like, it was unnecessary,
and… you know, you can't take it back.
So I'm not even gonna go into, like, regret versus not regret.
That part doesn't matter.
But what mattered more to me was just, like,
making Pilar feel really secure after that moment, because…
really the future that I really wanted, as long as she would have it,
was with Pilar.
Yeah.
It's sad, because there was just a profound effect on a lot of people.
I'm not a bridge burner,
but it's kind of hard to, like, leave things, like…
It's just like, "Damn,
-this was so important at one point." -What was it all for?
Yeah, now it's, like, gone.
Now we're back a year later.
All right. Dayna and Magan.
Last we saw you, Magan, you got on one knee,
and Dayna surprised us all with a double proposal.
Girl, that dress would have busted.
-I would've got down on that knee. -She didn't have to.
They had to sew that shit up right before I got there.
All right, let's have some fun.
Why don't we take a look at how Dayna and Magan
have been building their life over the past year
as a newly engaged couple.
I'm scared.
-Let's see. -This is a good one.
-It's a good one? -Yes.
I wanna fly with you Every day and every night
I wanna hold you Every day and all my life
Pressing against my face.
-Shake it. Shake it. Shake it. Shake it. -Hey! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
Fell so hard I fell so deep
I wanna love you
Every day and every night
Damn.
Well, are you still on track to getting married?
Yeah, we just don't really know when yet.
Yeah, I think we still also just, like, wanna make sure
everyone in our lives are comfortable.
So how's that going?
Because I know that that was a big thing for you.
Yeah, so, um, when I was in Miami, it was a lot.
I was on the phone with my mom and dad
like… majority of the week
just kind of like telling them, "I need you."
And they were both there for me.
And when we came back, we knew things had to change.
We knew things were gonna change.
My mom… like, it kind of took a few tries
for Dayna and my mom to really, like, understand each other.
But it happened.
We're actually planning for both of our parents to meet soon.
Aw.
You realize when you're not serious, people aren't gonna take you serious.
Or if you're not certain,
people aren't gonna think you're certain about certain things.
And considering, like, what Dayna and I went through on the show,
I just presented it to them in a serious way.
Like, "Hey, like, you know, I really love this person."
And like, "There's no reason why you shouldn't give them a chance."
She actually came around for, uh… for Thanksgiving last year,
which was really nice, yeah.
I never, uh… I never brought anybody for Thanksgiving before.
So it was nice.
It was really cool.
Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm good. Yeah. -Um…
It's like… Now I'm gonna cry.
No, you're good, you're good.
Um, it's just…
It's like seeing her, like… believe in herself is, like,
really all I've ever wanted for her. Um…
And, like, she found that times ten.
And then I realized… on top of that, you know, suddenly she was so…
She's so gung-ho, like,
"Come to my mom's house." I'm like, "Shit."
Now I have to, like… I have to… I have to be the brave one.
Like, oh my gosh, like, I'm scared now.
Like, you know, this is hard, to go somewhere where you're not wanted
or maybe you're gonna be rejected.
-Or misunderstood. -I mean, all of it.
Now I know what it's like to experience what it must be like to her.
And that was hard, you know.
That was something I also didn't comprehend, was like…
They had to be brave. That was bravery for them.
They were uncomfortable. They were scared. They were nervous.
They didn't know what to do.
It's uncomfortable for everyone, but everyone was being brave.
Them really trying.
I know how hard it must be for them to shake those beliefs
and just try to even just have an open mind.
And, like, now we're in a great place.
I think watching the show back was a little bit, like, daunting
because it was like, wow, this was kind of supposed to be for us
to, like, have something to show, like, "Be proud of us."
Like, "See, we're normal."
And to not have that to show for now, I think, made me sad for her,
because it was to show them, "See, you can be gay and be normal,
or you can have a good relationship, but we do love each other."
We didn't expect our situations to be as dramatic as they were.
We just kind of wanted to also show, like, give them a little platform
to see us in a different light that they don't get to see us.
So it's sad that now they're gonna have to deal with the opposite of that,
which is, like, repercussions of my behavior.
It'll be okay.
I get it wasn't the "fairy tale" that you wanted them to see,
but it actually shows that you guys have what it takes to make it.
-Yeah. -Magan.
What role did Haley play in you finding this sort of confidence
-and drawing those boundaries? -Yeah.
I never created the space for myself to, like, initiate things.
And I think, like… being with Haley, like, she was a really good listener,
and she gave me the space, and she heard me out,
and, like, she helped me process things
because, like, her and I operated the same way.
I found a lot of clarity talking to her.
I think like where things got misconstrued
is like, I would tell Haley all the time that I loved her,
and I wanted Haley to be in my life at some sort of capacity.
And honestly, like, I really wish that we didn't take things so far
because Haley would have been an amazing friend to me, you know?
And I think, like, it's unfortunate, you know, but it is what it is.
And you can't change the past.
Just because I said I wasn't in love with you,
I didn't want to take away all of the, like, love that was there.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that.
The feelings were very confused, but looking back, it's like…
You seemed really hurt.
And of course I was hurt,
because we thought we were gonna be able to be friends after this.
-Yeah. -And that's not how it was.
The whole thing just got twisted around into something ugly
that I don't think either of us recognized.
What happened, happened. And it's unfortunate.
I was really anxious coming into this
because I feel like there could have been so much animosity and mud.
I was like, I'm not proud of everything, but I'm proud of how we came back together
and how we showed up for each other, and what we are and the work we've done.
And not to say that year, and this past year, was easy…
because it had trials and tribulations.
But now I can confidently say how strong Haley and I, and happy we are, and like…
Yeah, I'm just really happy with the result.
It was so hard to watch that back.
And anyone here has every right to be furious for at least one reason.
Every person that's in this room has at least one reason to be furious.
And like, I'm grateful that, like, we can speak in this way,
and, like, be able to openly talk about these things
-without it being, like, animosity. -I agree.
For me and Britney, it was hard because we love both of you.
We love the shit out of you guys.
And we both want you guys to come to our wedding.
And we were like, well, where would they sit?
Yeah, that was so hard. Honestly, it's so hard for you guys.
-I hate that we had to put you… -You didn't put us in any position.
But you guys handled it amazingly.
You guys have been such great friends.
We never felt like you guys took sides.
We never felt like you took our side either.
Like, we felt like we were just friends with you.
And like you had your own relationship with other people.
I almost, like, was like getting giddy.
Like, "Oh my God, can we all be cool?"
Like, are we going out later?
Are we all going out after this?
Like, you guys texted me, I think a couple days ago.
"What are you doing after?"
And I was like, "I hope we can all just hold hands together."
The way this is going, it's sounding more and more like that.
I'm with you, Marita.
JoAnna, are you coming?
-Yeah, JoAnna. -You coming too?
Hold my hand.
Shots on me.
All right.
So it seems like you are all in a really great place.
Who do you think grew most in this experience?
And who do you think has more work to do?
I'll nominate myself for, like, has a lot of work to do.
I think, like, watching myself back was painful.
And I thought I was a very self-aware person,
and realized how un-self-aware I was.
Actually, I'm thankful for the point of reference
to like, okay, here's what I see.
And here's what I can now do.
You don't ever get to experience looking at yourself like that.
I would say that you improved the most.
I mean, like, you know, looking at the video, like, you are so different.
You're kind of overlooking that.
-I think that's so important. -I appreciate you.
I think you should be so proud of yourself.
-I love you. -I'm proud of you.
I think everybody can keep growing and keep evolving.
You know, I don't think it's necessarily like who did and who didn't.
For the part that matters the most, like, who can?
Everybody.
Well, a huge thank you to all of you for being here today.
It's been so great to hear from everyone
and see how far you all have come since we first met.
-Whoo! -Let's go.
I have to say, JoAnna, before we go, I don't think you get enough credit.
And I think everybody here can either speak to this.
Like, I don't think you get enough credit of how an amazing host you are,
how you show up for us.
And even though you are a straight-presenting woman,
it's bridging the gap between what we experience
from other people that may not see us how you see us.
Your love and your compassion towards us makes us feel so seen.
I will never forget what you said to Pilar that first night
-about family. -It meant a lot.
It meant so much to her, so much to me.
It brought a lot of light to my parents where they were like, "She's straight."
And I was like, yeah.
And if she can stand up here and accept all of us,
and we don't need the acceptance or understanding,
but if you can stand here and be that person,
like, I truly believe that it is the gap that needs that bridge.
And you are that bridge for us, so thank you.
Well, that means a lot to me.
I really feel like such an ally, and I believe so much in love.
And I believe that it's so important to celebrate love in all forms.
So thank you so much.
I don't think you understand how much that means to me.
-Aw! -We love you, Jo.
At the end of the day, what matters is your experience.
I know it hasn't been a perfect one, and I know there's a lot of feelings.
But just surround yourself with the people that are celebrating you,
because I will be celebrating all of you.
-And officiating our wedding. -I will officiate your wedding!
And we've also got something super exciting to share with you
and everyone else at home.
Can't stop the heat right now
You can now experience the same high-stake decisions and drama
that will put your love to the test.
Now only on Netflix Games for iOS and Android, playThe Ultimatum: Choices.
For now, thank you for your trust inThe Ultimatum, and here's to love.
Who wants to hug me?
Yeah!
-Oh, we're hugging everybody. -I'm hugging you.
I am, like, not a toucher.
Kyle, give me a hug.
You guys are so incredible.
Can't stop the beat right now
Can't stop the heat right now
Feel it all over me right now
Yeah, I'm feeling so hot, hot, hot
Uh-huh
Yeah
I've been working all week for this
Uh-huh
Yeah, I'm feeling so hot, hot, hot