1
00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:42,689
Dad.
2
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:47,275
Lisa, you scared the
ding-dang-Dickens out of me.
3
00:00:47,275 --> 00:00:49,241
I'm used to Lucy
sneaking up on me.
4
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:50,517
That is kind of my thing.
5
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:51,689
Oh!
6
00:00:53,172 --> 00:00:54,413
What is going on?
7
00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:55,793
Lisa's fallen ill.
8
00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:58,000
She should probably get
her affairs in order.
9
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,862
I've already prepared
a grave in the backyard.
10
00:01:00,862 --> 00:01:04,137
I'm fairly certain my
appendix is about to burst.
11
00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:05,551
And I need someone
to accompany me
12
00:01:05,551 --> 00:01:07,137
to the nearest emergency room.
13
00:01:07,137 --> 00:01:09,551
I don't think we can afford
another trip to the ER.
14
00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:11,137
Message received.
15
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,620
I'll prepare
the embalming fluid.
16
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:14,275
OK, just hold your horses.
17
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,413
Is it maybe acid reflux,
18
00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:18,724
you know,
from Lynn-chilada night?
19
00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,379
I know it's been known
to cause a little turbulence
20
00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:22,448
south of the border,
if you know what I mean.
21
00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:24,310
I've done some
preliminary diagnostics
22
00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:25,586
and all signs are pointing
23
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,241
to the aforementioned appendicitis.
24
00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:28,620
OK.
25
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:31,103
Let me consult
with my better half.
26
00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:32,310
Honey.
27
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,689
Hon.
- Yeah?
28
00:01:33,689 --> 00:01:35,620
Mm.
29
00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,724
Does Lisa have a stomachache
she thinks is appendicitis,
30
00:01:37,724 --> 00:01:40,206
and Lucy wants
to bury her alive?
31
00:01:40,206 --> 00:01:41,586
It's pretty serious.
32
00:01:41,586 --> 00:01:43,965
All right, well,
we should head to the ER.
33
00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:45,103
Want me to take her?
34
00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:46,862
No, no, I got it.
35
00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:48,689
Hey, that was really
sweet of you to off--
36
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,551
Let's go.
37
00:01:55,275 --> 00:01:57,724
I hear somebody
has a tummy ache.
38
00:01:57,724 --> 00:02:00,793
I'm 99.9% sure that what
I have is appendicitis.
39
00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:02,793
I need a surgeon
scrubbed and ready.
40
00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:04,931
Dr. Sanders attended
one of my lectures.
41
00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:06,172
He'll be fine.
42
00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:07,758
Pump the brakes there.
43
00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:10,310
How does it feel when
I put pressure here?
44
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:12,862
OK.
45
00:02:12,862 --> 00:02:14,620
How does it feel if
I put pressure here?
46
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:21,482
The Lynn-chiladas.
47
00:02:21,482 --> 00:02:23,241
That'll be $300.
48
00:02:24,793 --> 00:02:25,965
And 50 cents.
49
00:02:25,965 --> 00:02:27,551
Let's go before
we can't afford college.
50
00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:29,448
- I do feel better.
- Good.
51
00:02:32,517 --> 00:02:33,758
OK, people.
52
00:02:33,758 --> 00:02:35,275
We're not leaving
here until we've come up
53
00:02:35,275 --> 00:02:37,034
with some hot stories.
54
00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:38,206
Let's go.
55
00:02:38,206 --> 00:02:39,379
The news doesn't make itself.
56
00:02:39,379 --> 00:02:41,482
Actually, it does.
57
00:02:41,482 --> 00:02:44,379
Helping or hurting, Clyde,
helping or hurting?
58
00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:45,724
I'm sorry.
59
00:02:45,724 --> 00:02:47,724
I'm a little on edge
this morning.
60
00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:50,103
He's got a butt pimple that's
been really barking at him.
61
00:02:51,586 --> 00:02:53,620
I wanted to keep
that between us, Rusty.
62
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:55,586
I guess I should have been
more clear when I said,
63
00:02:55,586 --> 00:02:57,482
"Let's keep that between us."
64
00:02:57,482 --> 00:02:59,896
Now, does anyone
have a news story?
65
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:00,931
Stella.
66
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,724
Are butt pimples contagious?
67
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,931
I have absolute proof
that the school nurse
68
00:03:04,931 --> 00:03:06,172
might be an alien.
69
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:07,310
I don't know what's wrong
70
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,689
with that melon story
I pitched.
71
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,931
Thing's grown to darn near
the size of a baby head.
72
00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:12,586
What's the hook?
73
00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:14,275
Why are we watching?
74
00:03:14,275 --> 00:03:18,000
Because it's grown to darn
near the size of a baby head.
75
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,241
You put a live feed
on that and the audience
76
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:23,413
will be happier than a
kitten chasing a leaky cow.
77
00:03:23,413 --> 00:03:24,551
So we got nothing.
78
00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:26,344
Is that nothing
with the melon,
79
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:28,000
or nothing without the melon?
80
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,310
Thank God for
"Real Talk with Rusty".
81
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:33,517
Without my show, our ratings
would be in the toilet.
82
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,137
"Real Talk with Rusty"
has been
83
00:03:35,137 --> 00:03:37,551
the top-rated middle school
news show in the tri-state area
84
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,172
for seven months running.
85
00:03:39,172 --> 00:03:40,551
You get a juice box!
86
00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:42,379
And you get a juice box!
87
00:03:42,379 --> 00:03:46,862
Everybody gets a juice box!
88
00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:48,758
I think if y'all
just saw the melon.
89
00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,620
It's really quite majestic.
90
00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:53,000
I hate to interrupt.
91
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,551
Please do.
92
00:03:54,551 --> 00:03:56,689
We have a new student for
you guys to do a profile on.
93
00:03:56,689 --> 00:03:59,241
Name is Charlie Uggo.
94
00:03:59,241 --> 00:04:00,379
Oh, great.
95
00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:01,862
Another new student segment.
96
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:03,793
Suddenly,
the whole melon exposé
97
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,068
is shooting up the charts.
98
00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:06,931
Being the new kid
can't be easy.
99
00:04:06,931 --> 00:04:08,793
Let's try our best
to give Charlie
100
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:11,000
a real Royal Woods welcome.
101
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,586
Thank you, Lincoln.
102
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,482
Oh, look, here she comes now.
103
00:04:14,482 --> 00:04:16,413
She?
104
00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:22,310
♪ Ooh, Dream Weaver ♪
105
00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:27,206
♪ I believe you can get
me through the night ♪
106
00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:35,689
♪ Ooh, Dream Weaver ♪
107
00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:41,448
♪ I believe we can reach
the mornin' light ♪
108
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,862
Guys, this is Charlie Uggo.
109
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:45,517
Actually, it's
pronounced "U-joe".
110
00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:46,689
It's French.
111
00:04:46,689 --> 00:04:48,275
I just moved here
from Tennessee.
112
00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:50,965
Well, that seems appropriate,
because you're
113
00:04:50,965 --> 00:04:53,448
the only ten I see.
114
00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:00,034
If y'all don't like
the melon story,
115
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,655
got these crickets here
can chirp the alphabet.
116
00:05:05,965 --> 00:05:08,689
So, we're going to do the
normal stuff on this one.
117
00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:11,137
Name, grade, where she's
from, why she moved here.
118
00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:13,344
I think we should ask her
what kind of shampoo she uses.
119
00:05:13,344 --> 00:05:15,793
Because her hair smells
like a summer breeze.
120
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,827
These new student
interviews are generally
121
00:05:17,827 --> 00:05:19,172
only about a minute long.
122
00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:20,655
A minute?
123
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,310
But that would barely
scratch the surface with her.
124
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:25,655
I mean, the people are going
to want to know more about her.
125
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:27,275
She comes from a big family.
126
00:05:27,275 --> 00:05:28,344
She likes magic.
127
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:29,379
Video games.
128
00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:30,965
Comic books.
129
00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:32,379
Mm, Clyde.
130
00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:35,965
I really like this--
131
00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:37,206
segment.
132
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,413
OK, Lincoln, geez.
133
00:05:38,413 --> 00:05:39,827
I'm sorry.
134
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:41,862
This butt pimple has
me really on edge.
135
00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:45,310
And I take the news
very, very seriously.
136
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,103
How does my hair look?
137
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:51,517
Whoever has stomach issues,
get your farts out now.
138
00:05:56,068 --> 00:05:57,586
Lily, impressive.
139
00:05:57,586 --> 00:06:00,172
Office hours start now.
140
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,551
OK. Say "ah".
141
00:06:06,551 --> 00:06:08,827
Ah!
142
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,103
One more time.
143
00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:12,482
Ahhh!
144
00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:14,103
- Oh, oh!
- What's wrong?
145
00:06:14,103 --> 00:06:15,482
Brain freeze.
146
00:06:15,482 --> 00:06:17,413
It's really bad.
147
00:06:17,413 --> 00:06:20,896
Take two boxes of these,
and call me in the morning.
148
00:06:20,896 --> 00:06:22,758
Next!
149
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,275
What did I tell you about
sunbathing on the roof?
150
00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,068
Don't fall off.
151
00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:31,310
- Just pour some of this on it.
- Ranch dressing?
152
00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:32,482
Uh-uh.
153
00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:33,862
Cool ranch.
154
00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:36,241
Next!
155
00:06:41,517 --> 00:06:44,586
You got to stop sticking
your head in strange places.
156
00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:45,793
Yeah, yeah.
157
00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:57,241
That man's a genius.
158
00:06:57,241 --> 00:06:58,931
Indeed I am.
159
00:07:00,275 --> 00:07:01,517
Very funny.
160
00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,310
Well done.
161
00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,862
But it is a comedy prop.
162
00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:06,965
Real patients only. Out.
163
00:07:09,586 --> 00:07:11,068
What happened?
164
00:07:11,068 --> 00:07:13,206
I took a shortcut through
the woods to school today.
165
00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:16,103
Apparently, my sneeze sounds
a lot like a turkey call.
166
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,862
OK, well, I guess
I'll just have to use
167
00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:19,724
this table for leverage.
168
00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:21,586
I'm going to need you
to close your eyes,
169
00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:23,655
and bite down on this spoon.
170
00:07:23,655 --> 00:07:24,827
Don't look at me like that.
171
00:07:24,827 --> 00:07:26,379
All right, here we go.
172
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,068
One, two--
173
00:07:31,448 --> 00:07:33,551
Hey, you're lucky.
I was gonna go on two.
174
00:07:33,551 --> 00:07:35,172
Ugh. OK.
175
00:07:35,172 --> 00:07:37,103
Nothing against
your medical skills,
176
00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:39,620
but this family needs
a real doctor.
177
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:41,448
Possibly on 24-hour call.
178
00:07:41,448 --> 00:07:43,241
Well, I don't hear
Buckethead complaining.
179
00:07:44,448 --> 00:07:46,275
Eyes up, sweetie!
180
00:07:46,275 --> 00:07:47,482
Yeah, yeah.
181
00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:48,896
Listen, I know
this isn't ideal,
182
00:07:48,896 --> 00:07:50,517
but unless our resident
gravedigger unearths
183
00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:51,758
a pirate treasure
in our backyard,
184
00:07:51,758 --> 00:07:53,689
this may be our best option.
185
00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:55,689
Lynn, wait.
186
00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:57,689
What?
187
00:07:57,689 --> 00:08:02,068
♪ Oooh, Dream Weaver ♪
188
00:08:02,068 --> 00:08:07,862
♪ I believe you can get me
through the night ♪
189
00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:14,517
♪ Ooh, Dream Weaver ♪
190
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,413
What's up, doc?
191
00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:20,000
Hi, I'm Stella Zhau.
192
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,931
And now with our
new student segment
193
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:25,724
is Lincoln Loud with the
"Royal Woods Royal Welcome."
194
00:08:25,724 --> 00:08:27,137
Thanks, Stella.
195
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:29,655
I'm standing here
with Charlie Uggo.
196
00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:31,103
That's French.
197
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:32,655
Charlie just moved here
from Tennessee.
198
00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:34,034
Tell us, Charlie.
199
00:08:34,034 --> 00:08:36,068
What brought you and your
family to Royal Woods?
200
00:08:36,068 --> 00:08:38,931
Well, Lincoln--
201
00:08:38,931 --> 00:08:43,275
♪ Oooh, Dream Weaver ♪
202
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:47,655
♪ I believe you can get me
through the night ♪
203
00:08:47,655 --> 00:08:50,758
and that's
why we moved here.
204
00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:52,896
That's a funny story.
205
00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:54,793
My dad being out of work?
206
00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,310
Before that.
207
00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:58,793
The factory fire?
208
00:08:59,793 --> 00:09:01,448
Yes.
209
00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:12,965
I have a butt pimple.
210
00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:17,068
It's sore to the touch.
211
00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:19,827
I wanted to pop it yesterday,
but my sister
212
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,482
said it wasn't ready.
213
00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:23,310
I can't look away.
214
00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:25,931
Butt pimple.
215
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,620
Hey, hey, hey, Linc.
216
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,655
What's popping?
217
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,103
Not funny, Mr. Coconuts.
218
00:09:50,103 --> 00:09:51,586
Hey! Don't be mad at him
219
00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:54,655
just because you're the butt
of somebody else's joke.
220
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,172
Has everyone seen this video?
221
00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:58,793
Well, I don't know
if everyone's seen it,
222
00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:00,310
but 8 million people
have seen the remix.
223
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:03,310
♪ I--I--I--I
have a butt pimple ♪
224
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:04,931
♪ It's sore to the touch ♪
225
00:10:04,931 --> 00:10:06,448
♪ Sore to the touch ♪
226
00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:07,827
♪ Butt pimple ♪
227
00:10:07,827 --> 00:10:09,689
♪ I wanted to pop it
yesterday ♪
228
00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:12,103
I'm sure this whole thing's
gonna die down, right?
229
00:10:12,103 --> 00:10:13,586
♪ Butt pimple,
sore to the touch ♪
230
00:10:13,586 --> 00:10:16,068
♪ I--I--I--I
have a butt pimple ♪
231
00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:17,758
Where did you get that shirt?
232
00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:20,413
Oh, Flip's selling 'em.
233
00:10:20,413 --> 00:10:22,310
Check out the back.
234
00:10:23,344 --> 00:10:26,586
I'm never going to be able to
show my face in school again.
235
00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:30,344
Hey, Linc, if you ever
need to go into hiding,
236
00:10:30,344 --> 00:10:33,000
I got a good bucket guy.
237
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,689
Thanks, Lana, but I think
I'm gonna go lie down.
238
00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:46,827
Our mission, that we
are forced into because
239
00:10:46,827 --> 00:10:49,689
of our financial situation,
is to invite our new neighbor
240
00:10:49,689 --> 00:10:51,620
over for dinner, charm him,
241
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,862
and then hold him captive
until he gives our children
242
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,413
free medical care.
243
00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:56,689
both: Let's do this.
244
00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:06,758
Wow.
245
00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:07,896
He really likes that chicken.
246
00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,344
We got to try that place.
247
00:11:09,344 --> 00:11:11,620
Good evening, Mr. Simmons.
248
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:13,551
Dr. Simmons.
249
00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:17,137
Well, sugar my biscuits!
250
00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:20,241
I didn't know we had
a doctor in the neighborhood.
251
00:11:20,241 --> 00:11:22,172
I didn't know
we were doing characters.
252
00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:24,103
- I made a choice.
- OK.
253
00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:25,413
We just wanted to stop by
254
00:11:25,413 --> 00:11:27,172
and welcome you
to the neighborhood.
255
00:11:27,172 --> 00:11:28,655
And if you're free, we'd love
to have you over to the house
256
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,862
for dinner tomorrow night.
257
00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:34,793
And I'm not interested.
258
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,137
I guess that means
259
00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:43,344
it'll just be more of
my world famous fried chicken
260
00:11:43,344 --> 00:11:44,931
for the rest of us.
261
00:11:44,931 --> 00:11:46,206
I don't know if you know this,
262
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,137
but I am the best chef
in Royal Woods.
263
00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:54,896
I'll be there at 8:00.
264
00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:00,758
Oh, Bun-Bun.
265
00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:02,862
How could I have been
so immature?
266
00:12:02,862 --> 00:12:06,413
She's the perfect girl for me,
and I totally blew it.
267
00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:08,931
I used to be the man
with the plan.
268
00:12:08,931 --> 00:12:11,413
Now I'm the boy
with the butt pimple.
269
00:12:11,413 --> 00:12:13,517
I don't think this day
could get any worse.
270
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:19,896
Hey!
271
00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:21,965
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
272
00:12:21,965 --> 00:12:23,517
Don't worry,
I'm giving you the friends
273
00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:24,896
and family discount.
274
00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:26,862
I appreciate
the discount, Lucy,
275
00:12:26,862 --> 00:12:28,931
but I don't want
you to bury me.
276
00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:30,275
Sigh.
277
00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:32,896
I've never buried
someone famous before.
278
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,310
Hi, Lincoln.
279
00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:40,103
Are you guys here to pile on?
280
00:12:40,103 --> 00:12:41,965
Because there's more
shovels in the garage.
281
00:12:41,965 --> 00:12:43,724
You're our baby brother.
282
00:12:43,724 --> 00:12:45,344
We're here to help.
283
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:46,551
Not me.
284
00:12:46,551 --> 00:12:48,310
I wouldn't be caught
dead with you.
285
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,827
Stop it.
286
00:12:49,827 --> 00:12:51,137
Good one.
287
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,965
Thanks for taking
care of me, you guys.
288
00:12:54,965 --> 00:12:56,620
I can't believe
I blew it with Charlie.
289
00:12:56,620 --> 00:12:59,068
Come on, little bro,
don't hang your head.
290
00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:00,448
Yeah, you can totally
bounce back from this.
291
00:13:00,448 --> 00:13:02,241
I don't know how
that's possible.
292
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,517
Anything is possible
when you have us.
293
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,965
You really think so?
294
00:13:05,965 --> 00:13:07,379
We know so.
295
00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:09,310
We're going to train
you how to get the girl.
296
00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:11,965
You guys are the best!
297
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,413
We're going to turn
you into a lean--
298
00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:14,620
Mean--
299
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,620
Lady-killing machine.
300
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,862
Let's do this!
301
00:13:22,379 --> 00:13:24,068
Who's ready for
some fried chicken?
302
00:13:24,068 --> 00:13:25,482
We are!
303
00:13:29,862 --> 00:13:31,241
Hey.
304
00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:33,172
What's going on, Linc?
305
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:35,068
The girls were going
to help me win Charlie back,
306
00:13:35,068 --> 00:13:36,965
and then they just stopped.
307
00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:40,206
Oh, well, maybe
I can help you.
308
00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:41,310
- Really?
- Sure.
309
00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:42,482
- You'd do that?
- Yes.
310
00:13:42,482 --> 00:13:43,724
Thanks, Dad.
311
00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:44,758
Oh!
312
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,137
The doctor's here.
313
00:13:47,758 --> 00:13:49,517
We'll clear the dishes.
314
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:54,482
That was the most
tender chicken I've ever had.
315
00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:56,344
Well, got to go.
316
00:13:56,344 --> 00:13:58,655
Uh, wait, you can't leave.
317
00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:00,068
We thought maybe we'd
go into the living room
318
00:14:00,068 --> 00:14:01,586
and play some board games.
319
00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:04,000
Yes, and I could prepare
some after-supper drinks
320
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,275
like a mint julep
or some sarsaparilla.
321
00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:13,103
Well, I have open
heart surgery at 9:00 a.m.
322
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,931
But, I do love sarsaparilla.
323
00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:20,000
Oh, well then, why don't you
come on over and sit awhile?
324
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,172
History.
325
00:14:26,172 --> 00:14:28,793
Which British monarch
had the most wives?
326
00:14:28,793 --> 00:14:30,482
- Chaz VII.
- Henry VIII.
327
00:14:30,482 --> 00:14:31,551
Oh, darn!
328
00:14:31,551 --> 00:14:33,137
OK, your turn.
329
00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:37,379
- Sports.
- Ooh.
330
00:14:38,413 --> 00:14:40,000
Ah!
331
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,896
If you were punctured
332
00:14:41,896 --> 00:14:46,034
by an arrow in archery class,
after removing the arrow,
333
00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:48,896
how would you treat what
looks like an infection?
334
00:14:48,896 --> 00:14:50,413
Well, obviously,
I'd go to the ER.
335
00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:51,689
You didn't let me finish.
336
00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:53,655
And you can't go to the ER.
337
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:55,482
Well, I'd flush the wound
with saline solution
338
00:14:55,482 --> 00:14:57,482
and suture it
with dissolvable stitches.
339
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:58,448
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
340
00:14:58,448 --> 00:15:00,448
Would yarn work?
341
00:15:00,448 --> 00:15:01,482
Yarn?
342
00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:02,862
Nope, nope.
343
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:05,103
Well, let's just give
him another card, hmm?
344
00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:06,586
Sure.
345
00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:08,034
Ooh, history.
346
00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:12,000
Sir William the Buckethead
had bucket on his head,
347
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,034
how would you get it off?
348
00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:15,103
Can I see that card?
349
00:15:15,103 --> 00:15:16,517
Uh-uh-uh.
350
00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:18,620
That's against the rules,
Dr. Simmons.
351
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:21,034
And we're very rule centric
here at the Loud house.
352
00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:22,310
Here we go.
353
00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,275
Movies.
354
00:15:24,275 --> 00:15:26,034
In "Gone with the Wind",
is salad dressing
355
00:15:26,034 --> 00:15:27,344
bad for a sunburn?
356
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:30,517
Oh, I see what's
going on here.
357
00:15:30,517 --> 00:15:32,310
You think you're
the first to try
358
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,034
to wrangle free medical advice
from me?
359
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,206
Nice try.
360
00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:38,965
Dr. Simmons, please, wait.
361
00:15:38,965 --> 00:15:40,482
Look.
362
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,724
You seem like...
363
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,448
decent people.
364
00:15:44,448 --> 00:15:46,275
And the chicken was delicious.
365
00:15:46,275 --> 00:15:49,344
So I will treat
one of your children.
366
00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:50,689
Our brother has
a butt pimple.
367
00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:52,206
It's the only thing
standing between him
368
00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:53,931
and what might be true love.
369
00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:56,137
A butt pimple!
370
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,896
I've lanced a lot of
butt pimples in my day,
371
00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:06,862
but that one fought back.
372
00:16:08,379 --> 00:16:09,586
Wear that overnight,
373
00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:11,172
you'll be good as new
in the morning.
374
00:16:11,172 --> 00:16:12,310
Thanks, doc.
375
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,655
You're a real lifesaver.
376
00:16:13,655 --> 00:16:15,724
Come here.
377
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,689
Good luck with the girl.
378
00:16:22,103 --> 00:16:24,758
I have to say,
you guys are the best.
379
00:16:24,758 --> 00:16:26,827
When I was lying
in Lucy's grave earlier,
380
00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,344
I had lost all hope.
381
00:16:28,344 --> 00:16:30,896
Because of you,
Lincoln Loud is back,
382
00:16:30,896 --> 00:16:32,517
and more confident than ever.
383
00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:35,137
Oh, I'll bet
that's the doctor
384
00:16:35,137 --> 00:16:37,517
back to fix the rest of you.
385
00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:39,724
I've got to get
back into character.
386
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,172
I haven't seen you at school,
387
00:16:49,172 --> 00:16:50,793
so I wanted to give you
your homework.
388
00:16:53,655 --> 00:16:55,344
I've got to go.
389
00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:56,931
Wait! Don't leave!
390
00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:58,689
I'm only wearing this
diaper because the doctor
391
00:16:58,689 --> 00:17:00,586
lanced my butt pimple.
392
00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:04,379
I'm Zach Gurdle
with breaking news.
393
00:17:04,379 --> 00:17:06,103
Found footage from
a neighbor's door camera
394
00:17:06,103 --> 00:17:09,241
reveals Butt Pimple Boy
in new humiliation.
395
00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:22,620
I'm sorry we ran the story, Lincoln.
396
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:25,034
Principal Ramirez
said ratings are key.
397
00:17:25,034 --> 00:17:26,551
I understand.
398
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:29,379
I don't know what
I'm going to do, Clyde.
399
00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:30,931
I'll tell you what
you're going to do.
400
00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:32,689
You're going to come on
to "Real Talk with Rusty"
401
00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:35,724
tomorrow, and I'm going
to restore your image.
402
00:17:49,586 --> 00:17:51,482
You know him as
Butt Pimple Boy,
403
00:17:51,482 --> 00:17:53,413
and others know
him as Diaper dude.
404
00:17:53,413 --> 00:17:55,724
But there's so much
more to our first guest.
405
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:58,793
It's time to get real
on "Real Talk with Rusty".
406
00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:03,206
Please give a warm
welcome to Lincoln Loud!
407
00:18:11,517 --> 00:18:14,172
I noticed he sat down
pretty confidently there.
408
00:18:14,172 --> 00:18:15,310
How's the pimple?
409
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:17,034
Pimples fine, Rusty.
410
00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:18,172
Mm-hmm.
411
00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:20,206
And how's your heart?
412
00:18:20,206 --> 00:18:21,862
Still healing.
413
00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:24,310
You can't put a diaper
on your heart.
414
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:27,241
Let's pop that pimple
a little more.
415
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,862
Tell us about the humiliation.
416
00:18:28,862 --> 00:18:32,172
Oh, I think everyone
saw the humiliation.
417
00:18:32,172 --> 00:18:33,517
They did.
418
00:18:33,517 --> 00:18:35,344
I saw it multiple times.
419
00:18:35,344 --> 00:18:37,379
I even sent it to my grandma.
420
00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:39,275
Partly because it's funny,
421
00:18:39,275 --> 00:18:40,793
and partly because
we're running out
422
00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:42,310
of ways to connect.
423
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,655
But walk us through
the humiliation, Lincoln.
424
00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:47,310
Like you said,
everyone already saw it.
425
00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:48,758
Even Nana Spokes.
426
00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:52,034
Humiliation sells, Lincoln.
427
00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,551
Give the people what they want.
428
00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:56,758
You know what, Rusty?
429
00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:57,896
You're right.
430
00:18:57,896 --> 00:18:59,620
Humiliation does sell.
431
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,517
And maybe that's the problem.
432
00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:08,000
We're all so quick to point
out anyone who's different.
433
00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:12,103
We live in a world where people
think they have to be perfect.
434
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,758
We have filters on our
phones that make us
435
00:19:13,758 --> 00:19:17,758
look thinner, cuter, stronger.
436
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:21,241
But these filters cover up
the things that make us human.
437
00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:23,896
For me, it was a butt pimple.
438
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,896
For someone else,
it might be a bad haircut,
439
00:19:25,896 --> 00:19:27,689
or wearing their mom's
homemade clothes that
440
00:19:27,689 --> 00:19:30,000
are way too small for them.
441
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,413
We're all going to
have moments in life
442
00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:32,862
we're embarrassed about.
443
00:19:32,862 --> 00:19:34,448
But the key is to have
the confidence
444
00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:37,034
to not let it bring you down.
445
00:19:37,034 --> 00:19:39,310
My name is Lincoln Loud,
446
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:40,862
and I'm wearing a diaper
right now.
447
00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:43,655
For a partially healed
butt pimple.
448
00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:46,413
And I'm proud of it,
because I'm not perfect,
449
00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:47,965
but I love myself.
450
00:19:47,965 --> 00:19:49,482
Blemishes and all.
451
00:20:02,172 --> 00:20:05,448
Ladies and gentlemen,
we just got real.
452
00:20:05,448 --> 00:20:07,068
Whoo-hoo!
453
00:20:12,482 --> 00:20:15,068
You get a diaper!
454
00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:16,310
You get a diaper!
455
00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:17,551
And you get a diaper!
456
00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:23,689
You were amazing.
457
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,344
Thanks.
458
00:20:25,344 --> 00:20:27,379
I'm just glad you'll still talk
to me after all that stuff.
459
00:20:27,379 --> 00:20:29,586
Are you kidding?
You're awesome.
460
00:20:29,586 --> 00:20:32,344
All that stuff you said about
having to not be perfect,
461
00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:34,000
it really hit close to home.
462
00:20:35,206 --> 00:20:36,551
I have an extra toe.
463
00:20:41,517 --> 00:20:44,275
Charlie, would you like
to go to Auntie Pam's
464
00:20:44,275 --> 00:20:45,965
and have a milkshake with me?
465
00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:48,241
Oh, my gosh,
that sounds amazing.
466
00:20:48,241 --> 00:20:50,241
Rusty and I were about to
head over there to celebrate
467
00:20:50,241 --> 00:20:51,655
his great interview.
468
00:20:51,655 --> 00:20:53,517
- Hey, babe.
- Great news.
469
00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:55,241
Lincoln's going to join us
for Auntie Pam's.
470
00:20:55,241 --> 00:20:56,482
Perfect.
471
00:20:56,482 --> 00:20:59,068
Who wants to share
some french fries?
472
00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:04,172
Sorry, it takes me a while
to come down.
473
00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:14,379
Hey, am I late?
474
00:21:14,379 --> 00:21:16,068
Nope, right on time.
475
00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:17,551
Make some room, people.
476
00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:23,655
We're all so proud
of you, Lincoln.
477
00:21:23,655 --> 00:21:26,448
Yeah, little bro, you really
rocked that speech today.
478
00:21:26,448 --> 00:21:27,931
People need to hear
that stuff.
479
00:21:27,931 --> 00:21:30,068
Hear what?
I can't hear anything.
480
00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:33,241
I may not have gotten
the girl,
481
00:21:33,241 --> 00:21:34,793
but I have you guys.
482
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,793
And I made a difference,
so that's what's important.
483
00:21:36,793 --> 00:21:38,413
Hey, don't worry, Lincoln.
484
00:21:38,413 --> 00:21:39,793
When I was in middle school,
485
00:21:39,793 --> 00:21:41,551
I had to ask my first
girlfriend out 36 times
486
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:43,827
before she said yes.
487
00:21:43,827 --> 00:21:47,379
Of course she left
the country the next day.
488
00:21:47,379 --> 00:21:48,620
It's a long story.
489
00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:51,068
The point is never give up.
490
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,793
Your first girlfriend?
491
00:21:52,793 --> 00:21:56,068
Oh, I'm weak in the knees
just thinking about my man
492
00:21:56,068 --> 00:21:57,413
pining for another.
493
00:21:57,413 --> 00:21:58,931
Oh!
494
00:22:00,344 --> 00:22:02,034
I'm OK.
495
00:22:02,862 --> 00:22:03,931
Looks like I'm going
to have to take some more
496
00:22:03,931 --> 00:22:05,896
fried chicken
to our new neighbor.