1 00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:33,909 You got your keys, right? 2 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,328 Yeah. Yeah, got them. 3 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:48,799 Hey. 4 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,718 {\an8}There you are. Thought you might be asleep for a second. 5 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,221 {\an8}Nope. Still up, as always. 6 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,597 {\an8}How's the sleep app working? 7 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,392 Well, I tried it again the other night. 8 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,395 The fella's meant to talk you to sleep, right? But his voice is so sexy, 9 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,230 I started fantasizing about him rescuing me from a burning oil rig. 10 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,693 Which, you know, is great but useless if you're an insomniac. 11 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,236 Have you ever tried them? 12 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,737 No. 13 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,240 Hypnotism, acupuncture, none of it works. 14 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,575 I bought a book online 15 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:18,161 called One Thousand and One Sleep Cures and Remedies. Rubbish. 16 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:21,790 It's full of crap. Like, wear a hat full of lavender. 17 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,792 Listen to a recording of someone else sleeping. 18 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,086 Only inhale through one nostril. 19 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,922 Sleep on a soft mattress. Sleep on a hard mattress. 20 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,009 Get the soft mattress on top of the hard mattress. 21 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,302 Then sleep on them both. 22 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,971 Pray to a Norse god. Ignore your eyes. 23 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:36,889 No. All right, look, 24 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,765 I may have made a couple of those up, but, you know. 25 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,767 Sorry, I didn't listen to a word you just said. 26 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,436 Danny, why are you crawling around in the dark? 27 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,564 - You know my neighbor? - What, the pussy person? 28 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,317 - The Cat Man. - You like that? 29 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:51,069 For some unfathomable reason, he invited me to his cat's birthday party. 30 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,571 How old is it? 31 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,115 It's 17. We all chipped in and got it driving lessons. 32 00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,119 Anyway, 33 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,413 I had to come up with an excuse for why I couldn't attend, 34 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,333 and in hindsight, I went a little bit overboard. 35 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,334 Why? What'd you tell him? 36 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,544 I was going on a month-long sabbatical staying at every Disneyland in the world. 37 00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:11,632 - Why did you tell him that? - Never been. Always wanted to. 38 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,258 I thought now would be a good time to go. 39 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,718 But you never even go out. 40 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,261 Yeah, I know. There are flaws to my logic. 41 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,679 And now he thinks I'm away. 42 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,349 He's having the party on my patio. It's been going on for hours. 43 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,059 Right, so is that your plan for the next month? 44 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:24,728 Every time he's outside, you're just gonna crawl around in the dark? 45 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,730 Yeah. I'm committed now. 46 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,067 And, on the bright side, think of all the money I'll save on light bulbs. 47 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,110 Why don't you just pull the curtains? 48 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,403 I don't have any. 49 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,323 And if I get some and I put them up and he sees them, he'll think, 50 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,450 "Where did those curtains come from?" And he'll know I'm in. 51 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,910 So it's like a catch-22. 52 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:41,954 Just a thought. 53 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,331 What are you gonna do about food? 54 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,876 Or is Adam across the hall still doing your shopping for you? 55 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,628 No, I had to make him believe I'm in Disneyland too. 56 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,963 You know what he's like. 57 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:53,757 If he knew the truth, he'd spill the beans to the whole building in 30 seconds. 58 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,133 - Yeah. - Look, it's fine. 59 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:59,137 I feel fine. I feel good. I'm just gonna live off what's in the flat, which is... 60 00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:04,810 a jar of mayonnaise and a variety pack of Frosties. 61 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,273 Yeah, I didn't think this through properly, did I? 62 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,608 This is one of those times where being able to go outside 63 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,569 - might be quite useful. - Would it? Thank you. 64 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:16,613 Well, I can't help it. And now I'm hungry. I'm gonna have to order a pizza. 65 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,574 Cat Man, deliveries. 66 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,784 Hiding from someone is so complicated. 67 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,743 I'm gonna risk it. 68 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,953 I'll use it as a dummy run, see if it's possible. 69 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,621 Cat Man can't stay out there forever. 70 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,166 Right. One anchovy and pineapple. 71 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,960 Anchovy and pineapple? 72 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,962 Absolutely. On the way. Where are you? 73 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,505 Late-night chemist. 74 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:34,798 Poppy's chicken pox. 75 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,009 She is still scratching herself like a little baboon, 76 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,093 and we've run out of Peridyne. 77 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,596 And on top of that, most of her class has now come down with it. 78 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:44,516 Parents' WhatsApp has been going nuts all week. I feel terrible. 79 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,934 Why do you feel terrible? 80 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,561 Remember how I said 81 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,313 I didn't take Poppy on the school trip 82 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:51,565 - because of her chicken pox? - What's wrong, Mummy? 83 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,025 Nothing's wrong. 84 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,693 - Yeah, we'll be going in a minute. - Mummy! 85 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,195 I've just gotta make something first. 86 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,198 Well, I kind of did. 87 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,367 There. Now you really look like a sheep. 88 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,869 - Baa! - Baa. 89 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,288 There was no way I was gonna bail. 90 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:09,082 What, and let Zach's bitchy mum get one over on me again? 91 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,127 Everything okay there? 92 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:13,962 Yeah, fine. 93 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:16,005 It's just how we do it at home. 94 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,259 We had lasagna last night. Total chaos. 95 00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:23,722 I could tell she was getting suspicious, but I totally got away with it. 96 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,644 Crafty. And, you know, morally questionable. 97 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:33,482 Don't you start. I saw this ad for some new pills called Snoozers. 98 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,275 Extra strength for proper insomniacs. 99 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,902 I should see if I can get some in here. 100 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,529 No, don't. They don't knock you out. 101 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,155 They just make everything taste like cabbage. 102 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:43,408 Apart from cabbage, which, you know, already has that slightly cabbage-y taste. 103 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,952 But you know what I'm gonna say, don't you? 104 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,412 No. Can we please go one night without having this conversation? 105 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,122 I'm not going with you to a sleep clinic. 106 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,249 Go on. 107 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:52,584 No. People with clipboards watching me kip? 108 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,419 When I sleep, I don't like an audience. 109 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,548 Also, what if, you know-- 110 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,132 What if when I'm snoozing... 111 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,802 I touch myself? 112 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,930 I mean, do you touch yourself when you sleep? 113 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,266 I don't know, but judging by how much I do when I'm awake, 114 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,642 I wouldn't be ruling it out. 115 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,145 Anyway, wouldn't, you know, Veggie mind you spending the night with me? 116 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,815 I doubt it. He just thinks of you as one of the girls. You know, 117 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,358 basically a lady. 118 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,820 Does he? Well, that's nice to know. 119 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,655 Hang on. Veggie's calling. I'll call you back. 120 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:24,575 {\an8}Hi, Veg. 121 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,410 Panic over. She is asleep, 122 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,328 and I am the best stepdad ever. 123 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,538 How did you manage that? 124 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:30,664 I just read to her. 125 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,082 Well, I tried that. What'd you read? 126 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,210 {\an8}Well, you know, just The History of Bricks. 127 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,170 Sorry, what? 128 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,547 The History of Bricks. 129 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,425 - Why are you reading that now? - For Saturday. 130 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,844 - Yeah, the brick thing. - Yeah, you know me. 131 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,137 Preparation is everything. 132 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,889 Plus, it's actually really interesting. 133 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:50,184 Currently learning about the brick Gothic period of the 12th century. 134 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,685 All right. Well, as long as you're happy. 135 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,103 Please don't leave me. 136 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,354 Did you get the itchy medicine? 137 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,148 No. I'm waiting for the pharmacist. 138 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,525 {\an8}That's fine. I still have seven more chapters to go. 139 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,277 All right. Well, let me know how it ends. 140 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,487 Well, I don't think there's really a story as such-- 141 00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:04,406 You were joking, weren't you? 142 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,950 Little bit, yeah. Do you want me to bring you something home? 143 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,744 You could always surprise me. 144 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:11,371 Okay. Challenge accepted. I'll text you when I'm on my way home. 145 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,332 - Okay. Bye-bye. - All right, bye! 146 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,919 Okay, where were we? 147 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:19,922 All good? 148 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,591 Yeah, it's all fine. Knee supports. Perfect. 149 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,051 - I'll get him one of these. - Oh, yeah. 150 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,970 - He's doing a brick-athlon on the weekend. - What's a brick-athlon? 151 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,348 It's like a triathlon. You run, swim and cycle. 152 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,308 But at the end, you have to build a small wall. 153 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,267 Impressive. 154 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,769 Have you been served yet? 155 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:37,147 No. There's no one behind the counter. Must be out the back. 156 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,358 Well, do yourself a favor. Get their attention. Shout. 157 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,068 No. I hate that. It's rude. 158 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,655 - What? - Shut up. 159 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,698 You shut up. I didn't say anything. What are you doing? 160 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,367 It's Zach's mum. 161 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,338 - Lisa. Hi. - Kate. Oh, my God. This is so weird. 162 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,842 - Were you hiding from me? - Hiding? God, no. 163 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,927 No, why would I-- Why would you-- No. 164 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,554 Definitely wasn't hiding, no. 165 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:10,722 Zach has chicken pox. 166 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:11,890 Oh, no. 167 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,434 How's Poppy, by the way? 168 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,520 She didn't wanna take that mask off, did she? 169 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:21,358 No. She wanted her portrayal of the sheep to be as accurate as possible. 170 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,985 She's so method these days. 171 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,406 So I take it that bottle of calamine lotion you're holding 172 00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,574 is for something else? 173 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,789 Yeah, it is. Absolutely. 174 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,753 - Well, I should be getting back. - Okay. 175 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,130 Where's the pharmacist? 176 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,673 I don't know. I've just been waiting here. 177 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,341 - Well, have you shouted? - That's a good idea. 178 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,177 - No, I didn't wanna-- - Hello? 179 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:49,970 Hello? 180 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:55,434 Well, looks like we'll just have to wait it out. 181 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,227 Together. 182 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:06,486 - Maybe I can buy this for you? - Why would you offer to do that? 183 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,489 Well, I just think us mums should stick together. You can get the next round. 184 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:16,163 Okay. Well, thanks. 185 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,373 Yeah. 186 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,880 Sorry, can I talk now? 187 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,591 I have got to get out of here. 188 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:31,011 I cannot run into any more parents of children I might have infected. 189 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,307 Hello? Mr. Pharmacist? 190 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,268 Mrs. Pharmacist? 191 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,395 - Anyone? - Well, how about this? 192 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:41,772 Take the lotion and leave the money. 193 00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:43,649 I can't do that. I've only got a card. 194 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,150 Well, do you know how to use a card machine? 195 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:49,279 I do actually. But that just feels all wrong. 196 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:51,740 - Okay, fine. - Do it. 197 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,283 Fine. 198 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,708 - Shit. No. Shit. - What? 199 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,252 - What? - Oh, God, no. 200 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,254 - I just charged myself a hundred quid. - What? 201 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,172 Okay, and if I did this? 202 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,092 - Come on then. No! - What? 203 00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,677 Just charged myself another hundred quid. 204 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,554 This guy's profits are gonna go through the roof. 205 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,347 Now I have to stay here to wait for a refund. 206 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,849 Danny, this is all your fault. 207 00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:18,100 Come on. 208 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,689 14.99 for Vagisette? 209 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,482 That is daylight robbery. 210 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,901 What is Vagisette? It sounds like a kind of glue. 211 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,779 So why would a woman need a kind of glue for down there, Danny? 212 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,198 I don't know. In case something snaps off. A nubbin or something. 213 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:35,409 A nubbin? 214 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:40,163 Okay, my memory of the female anatomy is a touch cloudy. Thank you. 215 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,416 - So you're not seeing anyone then, yeah? - Course not. 216 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,084 The closest I've come in God knows how long 217 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,129 to having intimate contact with another living being was yesterday, 218 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,797 when I ate a pork scratching. 219 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,133 You do have to leave the flat if you actually want to meet someone. 220 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,218 Yeah, well, you know, Chloe was hard to get over. 221 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,930 Well, she was three years ago. 222 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,432 What's the longest you've been single for? 223 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:03,020 I would say five-and-a-half weeks. 224 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,314 Congratulations. What can I say? I'm pathetic. 225 00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:07,149 - I'm not judging you. - Yes, you are. 226 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,026 Yeah, I am a little bit. 227 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,361 You know what? 228 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,989 I am gonna sign you up for this dating app. 229 00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:15,240 Very good. 230 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,909 That's not happening at all. Not on my watch. 231 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:17,868 - It is. - Nope. 232 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,786 Hang on. 233 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,503 Here we go. Pizza's here. 234 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:33,842 Oh, yes. 235 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,726 Hey. Just come in and leave the pizza by Flat 8. I'll buzz you in. 236 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,978 I'm not allowed to come inside. You have to come out. 237 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,605 What do you mean? You guys always come inside. 238 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:49,066 The rule's changed. You need to come outside so I can take a picture. 239 00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,318 - Why do you need to take a picture? - To prove I've delivered the pizza. 240 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,112 Do I have to be eating it, holding a copy of today's newspaper as well? 241 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,280 Look, mate, please. 242 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,824 - It's only my second day. - Can I help you? 243 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,493 Shit. 244 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,287 I'm just delivering a pizza to Flat 8. 245 00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:04,414 You must have the wrong address. 246 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:07,376 The gentleman living in Flat 8 has gone to Disneyland. 247 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:08,710 But I was just talking to him. 248 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,467 See? Disneyland. 249 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:24,935 Adam Fothergill. 250 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,729 Hi. I don't suppose you've ordered a pizza? 251 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:31,191 No, I never order takeaways. Too many junk calories. What kind is it? 252 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:36,947 Anchovy and pineapple. That is a Danny special. 253 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,240 But Danny's in Disneyland. 254 00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:39,825 Right. 255 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,909 Happy to help, mate. 256 00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:44,413 Disneyland? 257 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:52,337 - Hi. - Hello. Can I ask you a question? 258 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,338 Sure. 259 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,591 Are you in Disneyland? 260 00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:57,176 Not right now, no. 261 00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:58,427 I didn't think you was. 262 00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,970 You're coming out to get your pizza, yeah? 263 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,600 Yeah. I'll be right there. 264 00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,316 Why are you still here? 265 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:58,654 The bloke from Flat 8, he's here. He's not at Disneyland. Look. 266 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:01,615 Hello? 267 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,451 Hello? 268 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:10,374 Hello? Mate? 269 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,212 Do you want this? 270 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,047 Thank you. 271 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:21,927 It's my cat's birthday party, if you're interested. 272 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,012 I've made a flan. 273 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:28,058 I would, but, work. 274 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,519 Suit yourself. 275 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,146 Come on, Angela. 276 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,861 I was so close. 277 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,530 What's your date of birth? The third of the ninth, isn't it? 278 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,657 Yeah. Why? What are you doing? 279 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,325 I told you. I'm setting up your dating profile. 280 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,035 No, you're not. No. Don't. 281 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,496 I thought you were joking. Haven't you got to buy drugs for an itchy kid? 282 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,749 Look, I'm sure the chemist won't be long, and until then, we're gonna do this. 283 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,334 I don't want to. Why are you making me? 284 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,004 Because, Daniel, you're my friend and I don't want you to die alone. 285 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,464 Trust me, this site is great. Me and Veggie met on it. 286 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,508 He was the first person I rated compatible with. 287 00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:03,135 How compatible? 288 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,596 Well, the percentage isn't important, is it? 289 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:07,973 No, go on. How compatible? 290 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,602 Fifty-two percent. 291 00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:13,854 I reckon I'd be 52% compatible with Veggie. 292 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,814 Name. Daniel Gibson. 293 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:16,899 Occupation? 294 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,233 What is your occupation? 295 00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:20,777 Internet person? Journalist. 296 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,613 That's right. Do you wanna know what hard-hitting, 297 00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,323 Pulitzer Prize-winning stories I'm working on? 298 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,326 "Twelve Ways to Know Your Dog's Depressed" 299 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,120 and "Ten Things They Haven't Told You about Vinegar." 300 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,832 - What haven't they told us? - I don't know. I haven't made them up yet. 301 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:40,130 Okay. First question. "Do you desire sexual activity?" 302 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,381 Yeah, a little bit. 303 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,383 You know, if they're-- It's like-- It's an offer. 304 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,718 I imagine you do after three years. 305 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,220 Okay. 306 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,680 "How important is your partner's physical appearance? 307 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,476 Not at all important, somewhat important, very important?" 308 00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:53,644 Not important at all. 309 00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:56,313 Not important. No. Not at all. 310 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,651 Maybe a tiny bit. It's probably a little bit more important than that. 311 00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:02,653 Maybe a sliver a bit more important than I just said. 312 00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,321 Really depends, the way you look at it, 'cause-- 313 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:05,989 - Shall I just put very important? - Yes, please. 314 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,658 Okay. Next. 315 00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:11,495 "Do you have any hidden talents?" I'll just put a no there. 316 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:13,705 - Don't put a no there. Put a yes there... - Have you? 317 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:14,873 ...and make it bold, 318 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,041 because I do have talents. 319 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,293 - Do you? Like what? - I can play the keyboard. 320 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,545 - No, you can't. - Yes, I can. 321 00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:23,465 Don't laugh. I can. Don't laugh, 'cause I can. Yeah, I was in a band. 322 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:24,550 Stop it. 323 00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:25,634 The Cuties. 324 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:30,013 What were we? We were kind of Radiohead meets the Backstreet Boys. 325 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:33,016 I was quite flamboyant actually. 326 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,977 I performed with a candelabra over the head. 327 00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,607 So how come you didn't become a rock god then? 328 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,734 All fell apart. Broke up after a couple months. 329 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:43,819 Why? 330 00:15:43,819 --> 00:15:45,529 I set fire to the drummer. 331 00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:48,574 Wait, wait, wait. Jeff! 332 00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:49,867 I'm sorry! 333 00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,415 How's the Cat Man situation? 334 00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:57,499 He's still out there. 335 00:15:57,499 --> 00:16:00,294 You know you're supposed to be sharing that with Dame Judy. 336 00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:02,129 I think he's feeding my pizza to the cats. 337 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:06,175 You wanna go over there? Okay. 338 00:16:06,175 --> 00:16:08,594 - Now. - What are you doing now? 339 00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:10,971 Well, I ordered another pizza about 20 minutes ago. 340 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,556 What? You ordered another one? 341 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:15,225 Yeah. I've been watching, and around every half hour or so, 342 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,935 Cat Man does a circuit of the building. 343 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:19,646 Takes him approximately four and a half minutes to return. 344 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,065 That's four and a half Cat Man-free minutes. 345 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,194 Also, it took 28 minutes for the first pizza to be delivered. 346 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:28,614 I've timed the last order to coincide with Cat Man's latest wander. 347 00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:30,532 If my calculations are correct... 348 00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,203 Very good. 349 00:16:34,203 --> 00:16:35,287 How about that? 350 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:44,087 Hey. Go to the last window on the left-hand side of the building. 351 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:46,298 You're not gonna muck me about again, are you? 352 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,799 No. It's all good. Trust me. 353 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,773 No. Shit. Not again. 354 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:10,696 Hey. Here. 355 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,532 Don't work, but we'll pass it through. Come on. 356 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,747 - Wait. - It'll fit. Come on. 357 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,669 It's not gonna fit. 358 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:27,548 Okay. We have two minutes until the man with the cat comes back. 359 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:29,174 You're gonna have to slide it through, slice by slice. 360 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,718 - I don't know. - What do you mean you don't know? 361 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:35,389 I mean, this is getting kind of weird. This isn't like a fetish, is it? 362 00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:38,350 No. I'm hungry. It'll only take a minute. 363 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,854 I'll give you a 20 quid tip. 364 00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:46,275 - Okay. Money first. - Yeah. Money first. 365 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,153 So... 366 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,160 Come on. 367 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,745 - You ready? - Yeah. 368 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,497 Open wide. 369 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,333 I don't want you to feed me. I just want you to pass it through. 370 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,585 Okay. 371 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:09,631 Great. This is good. Keep them coming. 372 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:12,968 You're good. 373 00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:16,513 Wait. Don't move. 374 00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:19,850 Do you hear that? 375 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:20,767 Hear what? 376 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:25,939 Okay, continue. Come on. Let's pick up the pace. 377 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:28,984 That's right. 378 00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:34,323 It's stuck. 379 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:39,161 Okay. 380 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,955 - Last one. - Yeah. Thank you. 381 00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:44,249 I've got to get that picture now. 382 00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:50,756 What are you doing? 383 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,508 The party's back this way. 384 00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:04,436 You've officially been waiting a stupidly long time. 385 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,273 I'm sure they won't be much longer, but let's just crack on. 386 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,191 Okay. 387 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:13,028 "How well does the following word describe you? 388 00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:17,533 Sexy. Not at all, somewhat or very well?" 389 00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,368 I'd have to say somewhat sexy. 390 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:21,328 What? 391 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,246 No, nothing. 392 00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:24,456 I just didn't know you thought so highly of yourself. 393 00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,291 Yeah. Well, I didn't say very sexy, did I? 394 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:29,044 I said somewhat sexy. Like, I'm mildly sexy. 395 00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:31,797 If I'm lucky and I don't feel bloated. 396 00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:33,507 How would you describe me? 397 00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:36,552 I don't know. Sometimes you come across a bit like-- 398 00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:39,888 Like a kindly milkman. 399 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:44,977 - Put that then. - Okay. Last question. 400 00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,521 "How skilled are you at the following? 401 00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:50,274 Creating romance in a relationship. 402 00:19:50,274 --> 00:19:53,360 Not at all skilled, somewhat skilled or very skilled?" 403 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,736 I have my moments, I suppose. 404 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,822 Really? I can't imagine you being romantic. 405 00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:59,116 Yeah. Course you can't, because I'm Danny the kindly milkman. 406 00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:02,035 Well, go on then. When was the last time you were romantic? 407 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:05,122 - You remember Chloe? - Yes. I remember Chloe. 408 00:20:05,122 --> 00:20:07,958 Okay. On our first date, I hired a canalboat. 409 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,377 Covered the whole thing in fairy lights. 410 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,547 We sailed down the Regent's Canal watching the sunset, 411 00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:15,757 drinking the cheapest champagne imaginable. 412 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,342 Mainly 'cause I couldn't afford much else 413 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:19,261 after hiring the boat, to be honest. 414 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:22,097 But, yeah, it didn't matter. 415 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:23,974 We didn't care. 416 00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:30,439 We listened to a playlist of romantic songs, and we just talked. 417 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,192 And we laughed. 418 00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:36,612 And then we stopped. 419 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,866 And then from there, we watched a firework display 420 00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:41,992 that was happening in the park. 421 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:44,536 Huddled under some blankets. 422 00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:51,627 Is that any good? 423 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,880 Yeah. That's pretty good. 424 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,590 A bit tacky. 425 00:20:56,590 --> 00:21:00,344 It's Veggie. Oh, no. She's awake and asking for me. 426 00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:03,263 I mean, that's a first. She usually just wants Peppa Pig. 427 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,057 Right, what am I doing? I've got to get out of here. 428 00:21:05,057 --> 00:21:07,017 At last. Hallelujah. Go. 429 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,187 Okay, Mr. Pharmacist, I'm coming in. 430 00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,858 What are you doing? 431 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,527 I'm not leaving here without Peridyne. 432 00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:18,987 This is quite exciting. It's like Mission: Impossible or something. 433 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:21,907 Yeah, it is. I feel all tingly. I can see why criminals do it, actually. 434 00:21:23,242 --> 00:21:24,868 Okay. 435 00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,122 Now what are you doing? 436 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:32,334 Well, if I can't get a refund, I'm gonna get my 200 quid's worth. 437 00:21:35,838 --> 00:21:36,880 Oh, my God. 438 00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:42,511 - Hello. - I'm not stealing. 439 00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:44,179 - What? - What? 440 00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:47,808 I'm here to pick up a prescription. Mrs. Anne Cooper. 441 00:21:48,851 --> 00:21:50,143 What? 442 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:52,855 I'm here for a prescription. Mrs. Anne Cooper. 443 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:55,983 What was the name? 444 00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:57,401 Mrs. Anne Cooper. 445 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:00,612 Bear with me. 446 00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:06,410 You okay? 447 00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:09,663 Yeah. Just trying to remember where I put the prescriptions. 448 00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:12,624 Are they not in one of the blue prescription boxes? 449 00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:17,629 Seems like a good place to start, doesn't it? 450 00:22:25,262 --> 00:22:27,139 - Here you go. - How much? 451 00:22:27,806 --> 00:22:29,141 That's 9.35, please. 452 00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:34,646 - No. Can't use the card machine. - Why not? 453 00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:36,565 Because I'm stupid. 454 00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:39,026 Do you have any cash? 455 00:22:45,699 --> 00:22:47,284 This is not my prescription. 456 00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:49,077 It's for Mr. Garfield Sununu. 457 00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:50,871 Are you not him? 458 00:22:50,871 --> 00:22:51,955 No. 459 00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:54,249 - What was the name? - Anne Cooper. 460 00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:55,334 Just a sec. 461 00:23:16,647 --> 00:23:18,774 They said he'd been dead for about three hours. 462 00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:22,819 I should finish giving my statement to the police. 463 00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:26,281 I just feel so guilty. 464 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:28,450 Come on. The paramedics said he had a cardiac arrest. 465 00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,702 He died almost instantly. He didn't suffer. 466 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,539 It's just so sad, going like that, all alone 467 00:23:33,539 --> 00:23:35,082 - in the back. - You're kidding me, aren't you? 468 00:23:35,082 --> 00:23:37,000 Face down in a pile of drugs, that's how I'd like to go. 469 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,711 I'd prefer something stronger than baby laxatives. 470 00:23:42,798 --> 00:23:43,799 You gonna be okay? 471 00:23:44,383 --> 00:23:46,301 Yeah. Of course. You know me. 472 00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:48,345 Yeah, I do. That's why I asked. 473 00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,722 There's only room for one morbid, miserable twat in this relationship-- 474 00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:51,849 friendship. 475 00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:55,561 And, you know, I've pretty much got that position sewn up, so... 476 00:23:55,561 --> 00:23:57,771 Noted. Thank you. 477 00:23:58,689 --> 00:23:59,690 Anyway, look, 478 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:01,984 it's probably time I stop annoying you for another night. 479 00:24:01,984 --> 00:24:04,820 No. You can't go yet. We haven't finished setting up your dating profile. 480 00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:07,030 Oh, yeah. Well, no, we don't need to do that now. 481 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,448 - We can do it-- - Yeah. No. Let's do it. 482 00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:09,825 It'll only take a few seconds, 483 00:24:09,825 --> 00:24:11,827 and then it'll start throwing up matches immediately. 484 00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:12,744 Ready? 485 00:24:13,912 --> 00:24:14,913 Done. 486 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:17,207 Right. And so with these matches, now, what do I-- 487 00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:19,877 Do you have to e-mail them or something, see if they wanna go for scones and stuff? 488 00:24:19,877 --> 00:24:24,715 I mean, yeah. You're gonna have to leave the flat eventually. 489 00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,136 You've got a match. 490 00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:32,973 Ninety-one percent compatibility. 491 00:24:32,973 --> 00:24:35,767 Really? Okay. Well, what's she like? 492 00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:38,395 She is... 493 00:24:40,397 --> 00:24:41,565 I'm still on... 494 00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:45,694 Well? 495 00:24:49,907 --> 00:24:53,827 Yeah. No. Sorry. It's just a glitch. No matches yet. 496 00:24:55,621 --> 00:24:56,997 Good. That's good. 497 00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:59,416 I should probably let Veggie know what I'm doing. 498 00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:00,792 Yeah, of course. Same time next time? 499 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:02,920 Yes. Same time. Try and sleep. 500 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,379 All right. Good night, you maniac. 501 00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:05,464 All right. Night. 502 00:25:44,670 --> 00:25:46,046 At last. Thank you. 503 00:25:57,224 --> 00:25:59,017 How was Disneyland?