1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,799
- [Lisa] Thank you. Good night.
- [customer] Night.
2
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,968
- [Lisa sighs] At last.
- [phone chimes]
3
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,764
[inhales sharply]
4
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:20,687
[sighs]
5
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,989
Um... [sighs]
6
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,370
[breathes deeply]
7
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,209
[sighs]
8
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,128
Yes, I am sure.
9
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,300
- You sure about what?
- Oh, nothing. [chuckles]
10
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,052
- Thanks for coming at such short notice.
- Oh.
11
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,887
- I know you don't usually work nights.
- That's all right.
12
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,723
Um, Alonso has saved
some chocolate gâteau for Poppy.
13
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,809
- Yes, lovely.
- [laughs]
14
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:02,479
Oh, Alonso. Thank you. That's amazing.
She's gonna love that.
15
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:06,441
Ah, well, then marry me. I cook, you eat.
We're perfect for each other.
16
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,610
[chuckles] That is, um--
That's an interesting offer.
17
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,571
I'll just, um, discuss that
with your wife, will I?
18
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,823
- Oh.
- Oh, just take him. He's yours.
19
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,950
Word of warning,
he's got a very hairy back.
20
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,994
- Really? [laughs]
- [laughs] You not staying for drinks?
21
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,371
I can't. I've gotta go and drop
something off, but thanks.
22
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,455
See you later, all right?
23
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,291
- All right. Night, Lisa.
- Night. Thanks.
24
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:24,168
- [line ringing]
- [Alonso speaking indistinctly]
25
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,294
Yeah. [inhales deeply]
26
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:27,713
All right.
27
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:30,883
Oh, I hate it when I miss her bedtime.
Was she okay?
28
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,177
Yeah. She passed out
pretty much straightaway.
29
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,553
She was a bit upset though?
30
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,971
Nah, she was fine.
31
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,308
Could you at least lie
and pretend that she did?
32
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,768
[chuckles] Right. [stammers] Sorry.
33
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,521
Yeah, no, now-- now that you mention it,
no, she was a little bit--
34
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,023
Too late. Okay, look,
35
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,859
I'll be home soon. I've gotta drop
something at Aunt Em's before tomorrow.
36
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,736
- What, now?
- [pants] Yeah.
37
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,071
[sighs] Sorry,
I don't really have a choice.
38
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,699
Um, but just, seriously, go to sleep.
39
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,534
- Yeah. Oh, okay then.
- Thanks.
40
00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,412
Um, it's just that I've just finished
my new video, yeah.
41
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,248
I was hoping to show it to you
before I uploaded it to the channel.
42
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,459
{\an8}Oh, uh... [sighs] ...really?
43
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,669
Yeah. You know,
I could always send it over.
44
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,128
You know, you could watch it on the bus.
45
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,965
Uh... [sighs] ...yeah.
Yeah, that would be great.
46
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,511
Um, I better go, but look,
I'll be home before you know it.
47
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,595
- Okay.
- Okay.
48
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:17,679
- Night.
- Night.
49
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,350
[pedestrian] Wait, wait, wait! Hang on!
50
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,520
[groans] For fu--
51
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,084
{\an8}[salesperson] Hard floors? Simple.
52
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,586
{\an8}the SC 3 Upright EasyFix Steam Mop
53
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:53,006
{\an8}is the only mop you'll ever need
for your sealed hard floors,
54
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,093
thanks to its simple to use
three-step flow control system.
55
00:02:56,093 --> 00:03:00,806
The SC 3 EasyFix can remove
the most stubborn of stains
56
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:03,684
- and 99% of household bacteria.
- [phone chimes]
57
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,228
[salesperson] And with a heat-up time
of only 30 seconds,
58
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,690
the EasyFix is ready to operate
in no time at all.
59
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,568
Just steam it, clean it, done.
60
00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:15,362
The SC 3 Upright EasyFix cleaner.
61
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,530
What are you waiting for?
62
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:20,242
Hello, Vedge-fans, and welcome back
to another edition of
63
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,244
Unboxing for Unboxers.
64
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:25,581
Today, I'll be reviewing a product
that every unboxer needs
65
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,666
if you wanna be taken seriously,
66
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:31,962
- the Sharptooth Box Blade 32AA box cutter.
- [speaking indistinctly, laughing]
67
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:35,007
Not to be confused with
the Sharptooth Box Blade 32.
68
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:39,469
I mean, it is the crème de la crème
of box cutters.
69
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,054
- Man, don't even-- [chuckles]
- Fascinating. [chuckles]
70
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,307
- Okay, so let's talk specifics.
- [rider] Oh, my gosh.
71
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,058
- The sleek, ergonomic...
- Idiots.
72
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,144
- Bailey, did you hear what he said?
- [giggling]
73
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,730
- What you talking about?
- ...and it also creates grip, okay?
74
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,733
Secondly,
let's talk about ceramic coating.
75
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,320
- Hey!
- Hello.
76
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,113
- Okay, spill it.
- What?
77
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,240
You've obviously got something
you wanna tell me. So, out with it.
78
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,867
How did you get all that
from just "hello"?
79
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,036
[chuckles] 'Cause I'm fluent in Danny.
80
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,747
Are you on a bus?
81
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,877
Uh, yeah.
82
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:12,836
At half 11:00?
83
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,714
- It's kind of a long story.
- Well, I'm not going anywhere.
84
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:18,509
Well, basically, my Aunt Em died recently.
85
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,928
- Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
- Yeah.
86
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,722
- Were you close?
- Yeah, we were actually.
87
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:24,932
- [Young Lisa] Give me my shoe.
- [Bully 1] No.
88
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,725
[Lisa] I wasn't always
the most popular girl at school.
89
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:27,643
- Missed again.
- Can I have it?
90
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,228
- Just catch the thing.
- [Young Lisa] Stop!
91
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,646
- If you want it, take it.
- [bully 1] Yes.
92
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,314
[bully 2] No need to cry about it.
93
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:33,815
[doorbell rings]
94
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,362
Lisa, whatever's the matter?
95
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,906
[Lisa] But she was always there for me.
96
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:47,621
Glacier movements happen by
the process of abrasion, plucking and...
97
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,665
- Anyone else? Uh--
- [door opens]
98
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:52,835
[teacher] Can I help you?
99
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,545
I wouldn't have thought so.
100
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,338
Which one of you is Melanie Bent?
101
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,175
Right.
102
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:03,470
[Lisa] I mean, her methods
could be a little bit unorthodox.
103
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,888
[Melanie] Get off. What're you doing?
104
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,015
- You're lucky I'm a pacifist.
- [Melanie] Get off!
105
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,725
[Lisa] But she was a hero to me.
106
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:10,894
And so generous.
107
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,647
Like, for my graduation,
she lent me her favorite dress.
108
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,815
This green satin one.
109
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,192
Oh, I loved that dress.
110
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,070
But then I maybe sort of
forgot to give it back. [chuckles]
111
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,447
- You stole it?
- Little bit, yeah.
112
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,242
[rider] No way.
I'm not having that. No way.
113
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:30,330
It wasn't my fault. I was really forgetful
when I was younger.
114
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,541
Right. So w-what's that got to do
with you being on a bus?
115
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,002
Okay, well, apparently Aunt Em
left strict instructions
116
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,336
as to what she wanted to be buried in.
117
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,088
- A coffin?
- Obviously a coffin.
118
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,465
I mean, she wanted to be buried
wearing the dress.
119
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,885
- And the funeral's this week.
- So what are you gonna do?
120
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,928
- The right thing.
- Yeah? You're gonna come clean?
121
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,013
- No.
- No.
122
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,723
No, I've got the dress with me now.
123
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,308
I'm taking it to Aunt Em's house.
124
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,560
I'm gonna hide it,
but hide it really, really badly.
125
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,562
And then tomorrow, they'll find it,
126
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,606
and then everyone will live
happily ever after.
127
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,524
Except Aunt Em, obviously.
128
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,068
Yeah. Oh, what were you
gonna tell me earlier?
129
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,403
[stammers] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
130
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,822
Um, you remember that dating app
that you signed me up for?
131
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,407
Uh, oh, yeah. Yeah.
132
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,575
Well, I got a match.
133
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,285
Really?
134
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,037
Yes, really.
Can you not sound so surprised?
135
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,831
- Well, uh, what's her name?
- Amy.
136
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,209
Oh, okay. Well, that's great news.
137
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,377
Yeah, it's good.
But... [stammers] ...what happens next?
138
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,296
You just send her a message
and say, "Hey."
139
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,674
No, I can't do that.
140
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,843
I can't get away with just a "hey".
I'm not a "hey" kind of person.
141
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,221
Oh, my God, you're overthinking this.
Trust me.
142
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,555
- Do you think?
- Yeah.
143
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,390
- Really?
- Yeah.
144
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,311
- Go on.
- Okay.
145
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,272
[clears throat]
146
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,357
[phone chimes]
147
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,320
- Sent.
- Okay.
148
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,447
- Well done.
- [breathes deeply]
149
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,532
[breathes deeply]
150
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:47,658
[sighs]
151
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,582
She hasn't responded.
Why hasn't she responded?
152
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,667
That's you with the "hey".
153
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,919
- "Do a little 'hey'."
- It's been a minute. Give it a moment!
154
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,004
[phone chimes]
155
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,089
Oh.
156
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,509
- It's her.
- Oh. Well?
157
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,679
- Okay. She wrote "hey" back.
- Mmm.
158
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,348
- That's it. And then "How was your day?"
- There you go.
159
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,975
That's a good start, isn't it?
160
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,727
Okay. Now tell her
what you got up to today.
161
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,399
- I don't think I wanna do that.
- Why? What did you get up to today?
162
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,109
I don't wanna tell you either.
You'll think I'm weird.
163
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,194
- Danny, I already think you're weird.
- That's fair.
164
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,988
- [riders clamoring, laughing]
- [chuckles] So?
165
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,740
Well... [sighs]
166
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,951
[clamoring]
167
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,206
I tried to make a bust
of Michael Fassbender's head
168
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,250
- out of some Blu Tack.
- Excuse me, what?
169
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,296
This is him in X-Men.
170
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,298
Wh-- Why did you do that?
171
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,843
I was in an arty mood. And, uh,
I just have way too much Blu Tack.
172
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:50,679
Yeah, you're right.
Definitely don't tell her about that.
173
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,931
- Then what do I do?
- [clamoring, giggling]
174
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,808
Well, just be yourself.
175
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,810
Okay. Yeah, good point.
176
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,605
Be almost yourself and just, like,
trim away the weird, little edges.
177
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,441
Okay. Yeah. Yeah... [stammering]
...I could do that.
178
00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:06,028
- [rider 1] Are you talking about me?
- [rider 2] White suit, trousers-- Yes.
179
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,613
Uh, Danny, can I call you back?
180
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,907
No, you can't. Please. No.
[stammers] What do I say to her?
181
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:10,991
Yeah. I'll check in, I ju-- [sighs]
182
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,035
- [rider 1] You're meant to be my girl.
- [shushes]
183
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:18,457
- Did you ju-- Did you just shush someone?
- Yeah, I did just shush someone.
184
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,834
I don't think I've ever shushed anyone
in my life. My legs are shaking.
185
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,212
I've never shushed anyone either.
I wish I was someone that could shush.
186
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,005
- I'm a bit jealous.
- [notification pings]
187
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,008
- Danny, I've really gotta go.
- No. Don't go.
188
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,551
- No. Wait. Don't--
- I'll call you back. Good luck.
189
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,011
No. Lisa, no, plea-- I-- [stammering]
190
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,095
[call ends]
191
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:34,932
[sighs]
192
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,854
So, in terms of color, it comes in red...
193
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:46,610
- [riders chattering]
- ...black, silver, green, lime green.
194
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,905
Doesn't come in purple,
which I thought was a shame.
195
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,008
Do it.
196
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,763
"Not bad. Thanks."
197
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,686
"How about you?"
198
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,023
[sighs]
199
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,033
- [sighs]
- [phone chimes]
200
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:59,516
[Veggie] The recommended retail price
is higher than we all expected with this.
201
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,895
But with the addition of the tape blade
down here
202
00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:06,732
and an additional blade
that can replace this blade once
203
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,650
- it's been overused, you know what it--
- Oh. [sighs]
204
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,078
[riders chattering, laughing]
205
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,464
- Uh, sorry. Have you seen a bag?
- There wasn't one here when I got on.
206
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,233
- [riders speaking indistinctly]
- Uh, sorry. Excuse me. Sorry.
207
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,240
Hi.
208
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,700
- Hey. How's it going?
- Yeah. Good, good.
209
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,035
Um, is that my dress?
210
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,203
Which dress?
211
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,038
The dress you're wearing.
212
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,040
- This dress?
- Yeah.
213
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,835
Mmm, right. No, I don't think so.
I'm pretty sure it's my dress.
214
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:12,589
Right. Okay, I'll put it another way.
Um, that is my dress.
215
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,801
Right. But I'm pretty sure it's my dress.
That's weird, isn't it?
216
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,720
Right. But I think we both know
that it's not, don't we?
217
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:19,972
Then how comes I'm wearing it?
218
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:24,142
[inhales deeply] Okay.
Um, you've had your fun. [chuckles]
219
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,478
- Now it's time to give the dress back--
- [shushes]
220
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:32,150
Right. Okay. Yeah. Okay, I see what
this is about. Um, I'm really sorry that--
221
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,235
[shushes]
222
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,448
- You can't just--
- [shushes]
223
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,369
Okay. [sighs]
224
00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:47,291
- [phone ringing]
- [groans, sighs]
225
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,501
- You won't believe it--
- She wants to meet up.
226
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,879
- What?
- Amy. She wants to meet up in real life.
227
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,255
- Oh.
- Yeah.
228
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,258
Uh, well, I don't know.
229
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:58,260
Maybe this is the thing that you need
to get back out there.
230
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,470
But I don't wanna be back out there.
That's why I'm in here.
231
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,097
Maybe you could invite her round to yours.
232
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:04,433
- What? Like, won't she be in my flat?
- Well, yeah.
233
00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,895
No, I don't think so. What if--
You know, what if it goes well?
234
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,229
- What if she wants to get intimate?
- I mean,
235
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,856
do you need me to cover this
with you as well?
236
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,482
- No, of course not. It's just--
- Good.
237
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,818
If I remember correctly, when, you know...
238
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,153
- Yeah.
- ...you know.
239
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,238
- What?
- You have to get naked.
240
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,408
Oh, yeah. No, no, I actually--
I put on more clothes.
241
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,951
It's just-- Listen.
242
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,204
Don't-- Don't--
Don't spread this to anyone.
243
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:27,080
- When I was showering this morning...
- Yeah?
244
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:28,916
...washing a personal place,
245
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,167
Oka-- Okay.
246
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,629
- I found a mound.
- A mound?
247
00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,339
- I think it might be cancerous.
- Danny--
248
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,841
- Actually, I know it's cancerous.
- No, it's not cancerous. What?
249
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:38,926
- Would you take a look?
- What?
250
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,678
Not like that. I just have--
I've taken a photo on my phone.
251
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,597
- If you could take a look at it--
- No, I will not.
252
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,806
Go and see a doctor.
253
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,850
Yeah. No, well, I have. Sort of.
254
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,728
Basically, I used to send a lot of photos
to my doctor. You know, save me going in.
255
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,438
- Right.
- Over the years,
256
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,608
I may have sent quite a lot,
and she ended up sort of blocking me.
257
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,401
Luckily, my neighbor Adam
offered to help out.
258
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,903
Please, do come in.
259
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,781
- [chuckles]
- Take a seat, please, Adam.
260
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:02,783
Cheers.
261
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,411
Okay. What appears to be the problem?
262
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,622
Oh. Hold that thought.
263
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,041
- [chuckles]
- Hi, Doctor. L-Listen to this.
264
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,043
For some reason,
I can no longer taste pineapple.
265
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,212
At first I thought it was a bad pineapple,
but very recently,
266
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,172
I've had another,
and still I can't taste anything.
267
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,298
Okay.
268
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,343
Let's just try this one last time,
shall we?
269
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:25,013
Please do let me know if there's any part
of this that you struggle to understand.
270
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,850
- Yep.
- Go away.
271
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,478
Go away.
272
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,273
[sighs]
273
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:38,068
- She threw you out?
- Well, technically she threw Adam out.
274
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:41,071
You know? Look, if I just send you
this photo, please just take a look.
275
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,865
And then tell me if it's something
or nothing.
276
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,158
- Yes. Okay. I'll take a look at it.
- Yeah? Serious?
277
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,077
- Yeah.
- Oh, thank you, thank you.
278
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,622
- There. It's sent. Are you okay?
- No, I'm not okay.
279
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,958
- Someone's stolen my dress.
- I thought you stole your dress.
280
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:56,420
No, I mean here. Right now.
They're wearing it in front of me.
281
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,504
Let's have a look.
282
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,508
Oh, yeah. He can really pull it off.
283
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,386
Danny! [sighs] Look, I need your help.
284
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,597
- Okay, have you confronted him?
- Of course I confronted him.
285
00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:08,515
- And what happened?
- He shushed me.
286
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:13,520
[exhales deeply] The shushee
becomes the shusher. A classic move.
287
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,105
Oh, my God. You're not helping me at all.
288
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,065
Okay, I've got it. You could start crying.
289
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,734
No. I don't want to cause a scene.
290
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:20,944
Lisa, he's the one causing a scene.
291
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:23,363
You need to expose him.
Drag his crimes out into the light,
292
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,240
and then make a podcast
about the whole ordeal.
293
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,450
- What?
- What I mean is,
294
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,243
you need to get
the whole bus on your side.
295
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,786
People love getting outraged
at this stuff.
296
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,539
Yeah, you're right.
You're right. I'm gonna bloody do it.
297
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,999
You are gonna do it.
I can see it on your face.
298
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,459
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna cause a scene.
299
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:36,585
- You're gonna do it.
- I'm bloody going.
300
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,378
You're gonna-- Oh, sh-- She's gone.
301
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,130
Hello. Hi, everyone.
302
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:45,010
Sorry, uh, I just wanted you all to know
that we have a thief on this bus.
303
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,804
This person has stolen my dress.
304
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,599
See that? That's the kind of dress
I wanted for my birthday.
305
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:53,435
Well, then why tell me perfume?
I'm not a mind reader.
306
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:57,523
Look, um, sorry, I-- I know it's late and
everyone just really wants to get home,
307
00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,316
but I'd very much appreciate your help.
308
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,859
Somebody must have seen something.
309
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,863
- Anybody? [chuckles]
- Sorry, I don't mean to interfere--
310
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:07,157
Oh, no, no, no, please do.
Please interfere.
311
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,826
But if that's not his dress,
then where are his other clothes?
312
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,870
Well, I mean,
obviously it's gonna be under...
313
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,873
- [grunts]
- [rider] Hey! [grunts]
314
00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:16,375
[scoffs]
315
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,919
- Come on now. Obviously--
- [grunts]
316
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,630
- What do you think you're doing?
- [chuckles] Actually, do you know what?
317
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,258
You are interfering. If you wouldn't mind
staying out of it, that would be great.
318
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:25,843
Thank you.
319
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:28,720
- Um...
- Don't worry, love. I'll believe ya!
320
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,389
Oh, thank you.
321
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,432
Bloke wearing a dress.
Disgusting, if you ask me.
322
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,685
Oh, no. No, no. Uh--
323
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:36,144
Okay, no one listen to him.
324
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,272
[stammers] He's-- I'm not--
We're not-- Um--
325
00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:40,065
We are not on the same team.
326
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,150
[sighs]
327
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,279
Of course, I believe that anyone
should be allowed to wear
328
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,738
- whatever they wanna wear.
- Great. Thanks.
329
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:49,908
Yeah, just, in this situation,
that actually is my dress.
330
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:54,204
Our plumber wears lipstick.
[chuckles] I still give him fruitcake.
331
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,497
[chuckles]
332
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,251
No, that's not--
[speaks indistinctly, sighs]
333
00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:00,586
No.
334
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:05,007
- [phone ringing]
- [Danny] Hey, how'd it go?
335
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,468
Yeah, not great. I, uh, pretty much
turned most of the bus against me.
336
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,053
But you were meant to turn them
against him.
337
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,763
- I know that. Thanks, Danny.
- It's okay.
338
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,265
Okay? We'll think of something.
339
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,147
While we're thinking, I don't suppose you
could tell me that I don't have cancer?
340
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,899
I already told you
I don't think you have cancer.
341
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:24,109
Yeah, but what--
What did it look like to you?
342
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,903
Well, I don't know.
It hasn't come through yet.
343
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,616
What do you mean? I sent it to you
ages ago. You should-- [gasps]
344
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,076
- What?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
345
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,996
- Danny, what? What?
- Oh, no. God, no.
346
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,040
- Amy. I sent the picture to Amy.
- Oh. [laughs]
347
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,416
Oh, well, do-- Don't laugh.
348
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,793
- What are you laughing for?
- Okay, well, that's fine.
349
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,670
No, it's not fine.
In what world is this fine?
350
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:44,755
It's bold.
351
00:16:44,755 --> 00:16:46,006
It's saying,
352
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,841
- "Do you know what? Screw small talk."
- Yeah.
353
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,384
- "Let's just cut to the chase."
- To the chase.
354
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,595
"Do you like my body?
Also, do you think I have cancer?
355
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,347
And if the answer is 'yeah' and then 'no,'
356
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,682
- let's just bloody get together."
- Together.
357
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,768
Look, the upside is,
358
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,479
if she gets back to you,
you know you've found a keeper.
359
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:03,190
No, Lisa, if she gets back to me,
she should be certified insane.
360
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,107
Mmm, yeah.
361
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,318
Well, then that's another thing
you have in common.
362
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,704
[groans] You idiot.
363
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,100
So, this is your forever, is it?
364
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,187
You in this flat.
365
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,156
Do it.
366
00:17:56,577 --> 00:18:00,831
[inhales, exhales deeply]
367
00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:01,874
Huh.
368
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:05,043
Okay. Yeah. That's not so--
That's not so bad.
369
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,545
[fluttering]
370
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,006
[gasps] Jesus Christ!
371
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,385
[grunts]
372
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,473
[Danny] Hey. Y-You don't know how
to ask a pigeon
373
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,475
- to leave your flat by any chance, do you?
- What?
374
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,437
[Danny grunts, sighs] Uh, never mind.
375
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,855
- [Lisa sighs]
- You okay?
376
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:26,356
- Not really.
- [pigeon fluttering]
377
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,691
Did Amy get back to you?
378
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,359
Funnily enough, she didn't.
379
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,278
- This way. [grunts]
- Oh, no. Sorry.
380
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,529
Did you get your dress back?
381
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:33,822
No, I did not.
382
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,616
Look, there's gotta be
something you can do.
383
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,367
There's not. I've got nothing.
384
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,746
I just wish Aunt Em was here.
She'd know what to do in this situation.
385
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:45,083
[grunts] Well, given what you've--
Given what you've told me about her,
386
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,461
she would have just
ripped the dress off his back, right?
387
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,422
Get off. [breathes heavily]
388
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,178
Never let the bastards win, Lisa.
389
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,931
[students cheering]
390
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,564
Of course.
391
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,859
- Oh, my God, that's it.
- What?
392
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:13,820
Okay, come with me.
393
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:15,447
Well, where are we going?
394
00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:48,230
Um, could you move, please?
This is my stop.
395
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,858
I just want to let you know
that you are a horrible person,
396
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,442
and that you have dragged me down to this.
397
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:56,029
And I want everyone here and everyone
who's going to watch this online
398
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,408
to know that what is about to happen next
is because of this person.
399
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:02,619
Yeah. Screw you, man.
Sorry, I d-- I didn't catch your name.
400
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,329
Um, Tyler.
401
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,831
Thanks. Screw you, Tyler.
402
00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:07,624
Yeah. Screw you, Tyler.
403
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,669
[sighs] Would you please point this at me?
It's recording.
404
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,796
- What?
- Danny will explain.
405
00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:15,465
- What's happening?
- I don't know.
406
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,718
I think we're just supposed to do
what we're told.
407
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:19,303
Mmm.
408
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:21,430
Are we ready?
409
00:20:22,014 --> 00:20:24,474
- [pigeon coos]
- No! [mutters]
410
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:34,651
Okay.
411
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:40,324
- [fluttering]
- [grunting]
412
00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:48,624
[yawns]
413
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,127
- [pigeon coos]
- [groans]
414
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,088
I'll keep going.
415
00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:59,301
[gasps] He's uncomfortable.
416
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,094
[grunts, sighs]
417
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,981
- [inhales sharply]
- Whoa. Okay. [sighs]
418
00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,859
- What you doing?
- [Tyler] This isn't worth the hassle, man.
419
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,864
Look, it's getting pretty cold out there,
so if you're gonna be a nutter about it,
420
00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:23,033
- then you should probably take this.
- Oh.
421
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:26,411
Thank you very much.
422
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:27,996
I've got some extra clothes
with me anyway. So...
423
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:31,333
Oh. Thought you might.
424
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,752
[claps]
425
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:39,508
- [phone chimes]
- [bird chirping from phone]
426
00:21:39,508 --> 00:21:41,009
[pigeon cooing]
427
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:46,890
[phone chimes]
428
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,643
[bird cawing from phone]
429
00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:51,937
[sighs]
430
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:54,940
- [phone chimes]
- [bird wailing from phone]
431
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:56,400
Piss off.
432
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,443
[bird wailing from phone]
433
00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:01,071
[groans] Oh, come on.
434
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,155
{\an8}[bell clangs]
435
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:10,622
[inhales deeply] Bye.
436
00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:12,958
- Better luck next time.
- [rider smacks lips] Whatever.
437
00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:14,793
Oh, my God. Did you see me?
438
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,589
That is the coolest thing
I think I have ever done.
439
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:20,340
Uh, yeah. It was amazing.
440
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:24,094
- Oh, shit. This isn't my stop. [groans]
- What? [laughs]
441
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:25,387
- [chuckles]
- [pigeon flutters, thuds]
442
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:27,931
What was that?
443
00:22:30,142 --> 00:22:31,435
Trust me. You don't wanna know.
444
00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:33,395
[panting]
445
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:36,023
Tell me again how this isn't breaking
and entering.
446
00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:38,400
[panting] Because I'm using a key.
447
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,528
Will you just relax?
I'll be in and out in a minute.
448
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:44,740
Then I've gotta get back and find my shoes
before someone puts them on eBay.
449
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:46,700
Look, I'll call you back when I'm done.
450
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:50,829
[door opens, closes]
451
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:04,760
[sighs]
452
00:23:11,475 --> 00:23:12,935
You've gotta be kidding me.
453
00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:15,896
[line ringing]
454
00:23:17,356 --> 00:23:19,316
- [Danny] I have some excellent news.
- [Lisa] Hit me.
455
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:20,400
It's just an ingrown hair.
456
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,110
- What?
- Amy, she got back to me.
457
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:23,695
No. Seriously?
458
00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:25,489
Trust me, nobody's more surprised
than I am.
459
00:23:25,489 --> 00:23:26,990
Okay, well, what did she say?
460
00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:29,743
Well, just that it's a beautiful,
nonlethal, ingrown hair.
461
00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:31,245
I'm not dying, Lisa.
462
00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:33,747
[chuckles] Well, that is great, Danny.
463
00:23:34,498 --> 00:23:35,707
Hold on. What are you wearing?
464
00:23:36,333 --> 00:23:39,461
Oh, well, it turns out that most
of Aunt Em's stuff was in storage,
465
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:43,131
so now I'm dressed like a '70s sofa.
466
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:44,508
No, it's a good look. A strong look.
467
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:46,134
Yeah, whatever. All right, I better go.
468
00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,886
- Same time next time?
- Same time next time.
469
00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:48,971
See you later.
470
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:52,474
Hello, again.
471
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,276
[Danny sighs]
Rest in peace, you crazy bird.
472
00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,119
[cooing]
473
00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:24,590
Godspeed, little guy.
474
00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:39,938
[sighs, grunts]
475
00:24:40,689 --> 00:24:41,690
[pigeon thuds]
476
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:43,525
- [salesperson speaks on TV]
- [sighs]
477
00:24:44,026 --> 00:24:45,277
You've got to be kidding me.