1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,633
- 謝謝,晚安
- 晚安

2
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,301
終於下班了

3
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,012
(晚上11點13分)

4
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,516
(冒險試愛:新通知)

5
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,560
(妳確定要刪除帳號嗎?)

6
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,608
(麗莎,妳與丹尼配對了,契合度91%)

7
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,492
(個人檔案,麗莎奧斯古)

8
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:34,743
{\an8}(刪除帳號)

9
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,540
{\an8}(正在刪除帳號)

10
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,624
(帳號已刪除)

11
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,128
對,我確定

12
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,675
- 妳確定什麼?
- 沒什麼

13
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,969
謝謝妳這麼臨時趕來

14
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,887
- 我知道妳平常不上晚班
- 沒關係

15
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,723
阿隆索留了巧克力蛋糕給帕琵

16
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,809
好耶,真棒

17
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:02,646
阿隆索,謝謝你,太棒了,她會很開心的

18
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,733
那妳跟我結婚吧
我煮飯,妳享用,我們是絕配

19
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,610
那真是...一個有趣的提議

20
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,571
我跟你妻子討論一下,好嗎?

21
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,823
妳就接受他吧,他是妳的了

22
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,950
但我提醒一下,他背上毛很多

23
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,994
- 真的嗎?
- 妳不留下喝酒嗎?

24
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,371
不行,我得去送個東西,但謝謝你們

25
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,455
下次見,好嗎?

26
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,291
- 好,晚安,麗莎
- 晚安,謝謝

27
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,294
好

28
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:27,713
好

29
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,883
我好討厭錯過她的睡前時間,她還好嗎?

30
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,177
她很好,她幾乎立刻就睡著了

31
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,553
但她有點難過吧?

32
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,971
沒有,她沒事

33
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,308
你就不能至少說個謊,假裝她有嗎?

34
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,768
好,抱歉

35
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,521
對,聽妳這麼一說,她確實有點...

36
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,023
來不及了,好,聽著

37
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,859
我馬上回家,只是我得在明天前
送東西去艾瑪阿姨家

38
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,736
- 現在嗎?
- 對

39
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,071
抱歉,我不得不去

40
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,699
但你就先睡吧

41
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,534
- 好,那好吧
- 謝謝

42
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,412
只是我剛完成新影片

43
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,248
我本來想先讓妳看過,再上傳到頻道上

44
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:05,876
{\an8}真的嗎?

45
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,669
對,不過我可以傳給妳

46
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,128
妳可以在公車上看

47
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,965
好...那是個好主意

48
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,511
我得掛了,但我很快就回家

49
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,595
- 好
- 好

50
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:17,679
- 晚安
- 晚安

51
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,350
等等...等一下

52
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,520
真是...

53
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,207
《愛情夜未眠》

54
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,084
{\an8}硬地板?很簡單

55
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,586
{\an8}這款SC三號直立快拆式蒸氣拖把

56
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:53,006
{\an8}一支就能搞定你家的硬地板

57
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,093
透過簡單易用的三段蒸氣模式

58
00:02:56,093 --> 00:03:00,806
SC三號快拆式拖把能去除頑強汙漬

59
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:03,684
以及家中99%的細菌

60
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,228
而且預熱時間只要30秒

61
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,105
這款快拆式拖把就能立即運作

62
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,940
(冒險試愛:新通知,你有一個新配對)

63
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,275
(丹尼,你與艾美配對了)

64
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,568
開啟蒸氣、清潔、完成

65
00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:13,777
SC三號直立快拆式清洗機

66
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:14,695
(契合度73%)

67
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,530
你還在等什麼?

68
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:20,242
哈囉,維仔的粉絲,歡迎收看新一集的

69
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,244
《為開箱達人開箱》

70
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:25,581
今天,我將評論一個
每位開箱達人都需要的產品

71
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,666
有了它,你才稱得上專業

72
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:31,962
利齒牌32AA拆箱刀

73
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:35,007
可別跟利齒牌32拆箱刀搞混了

74
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:39,469
這是拆箱刀中的頂級品

75
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,804
- 拜託
- 還真厲害

76
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:43,307
- 好,來說說細節吧
- 天啊

77
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,058
- 這光滑、符合人體工學的...
- 白痴

78
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,144
貝莉,聽到他說的話了嗎?

79
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,730
- 到底在說什麼?
- 而且很好抓握,懂嗎?

80
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,733
第二,我要談談陶瓷塗層

81
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,067
(丹尼)

82
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,320
- 嗨
- 哈囉

83
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,113
- 好,快說吧
- 什麼?

84
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,240
你顯然有話想說,所以快說吧

85
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,867
妳怎能從一句“哈囉”聽出來?

86
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,036
因為我很懂丹尼語

87
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,747
妳在公車上嗎?

88
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:11,877
對

89
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:12,836
在晚上11點半?

90
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,714
- 說來話長
- 我有時間聽

91
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:18,509
基本上,我的艾瑪阿姨最近過世了

92
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,928
- 天啊,很遺憾
- 是

93
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,722
- 妳和她親近嗎?
- 是,滿親近的

94
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:24,932
- 還我鞋子
- 不要

95
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,725
我在學校不太受歡迎

96
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:27,643
- 又沒搶到
- 還我

97
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,228
- 妳接啊
- 別鬧了

98
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,646
- 妳要的話就來拿
- 對

99
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,314
不用哭哭啼啼的

100
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,362
麗莎,發生什麼事了?

101
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,906
但她總是支持著我

102
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:47,621
冰河運動的發生,是經由磨蝕、拔蝕和...

103
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,498
有人知道嗎?

104
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:52,835
有什麼事嗎?

105
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,545
妳應該幫不上忙

106
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,338
梅蘭妮班特是哪一位?

107
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,175
好

108
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:03,470
她的方法可能有點非正統

109
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,888
放開我,妳在幹嘛?

110
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,015
- 妳該慶幸我愛好和平
- 放手

111
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,725
但她是我的英雄

112
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:10,894
而且非常大方

113
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,647
我畢業時,她把她最愛的洋裝借我

114
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,815
一件綠色緞面洋裝

115
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,192
我好愛那件洋裝

116
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,070
但後來我忘記還給她了

117
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,447
- 妳偷走了?
- 算是吧

118
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,242
不可能,我不信,不可能

119
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:30,330
那不是我的錯,我以前真的很健忘

120
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,541
好,那跟妳搭公車有什麼關係?

121
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,002
好,艾瑪阿姨似乎留下了精確的指示

122
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,336
說明她想如何下葬

123
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,088
- 裝在棺材裡?
- 當然要有棺材

124
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,465
我是指,她想穿著那件洋裝下葬

125
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,885
- 而葬禮在這週
- 所以妳要怎麼做?

126
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,928
- 做正確的事
- 是嗎?妳要坦承?

127
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,013
- 不
- 不

128
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,723
不,我現在帶著那件洋裝

129
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,308
我要把它送去艾瑪阿姨家

130
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,560
然後藏起來,但藏得很明顯

131
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,562
等到明天,他們就會發現

132
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,606
從此大家將過著幸福的生活

133
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,524
除了艾瑪阿姨

134
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,068
對,你剛才原本要說什麼?

135
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,403
對

136
00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:03,822
記得妳幫我註冊的交友軟體嗎?

137
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,407
記得...

138
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,575
我配對成功了

139
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,285
真的嗎?

140
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,037
真的,可以別這麼驚訝嗎?

141
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,831
- 她叫什麼名字?
- 艾美

142
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,209
好,那真是好消息

143
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,377
對,是不錯,但接下來呢?

144
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,296
你就傳訊息給她,說聲“嗨”

145
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,674
不,我辦不到

146
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,843
我無法只說聲“嗨”,我不是那類型的

147
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,221
天啊,你想太多了,相信我

148
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,555
- 是嗎?
- 是

149
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,390
- 真的?
- 真的

150
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,311
- 傳吧
- 好

151
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,610
(嗨)

152
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,320
- 我傳了
- 好

153
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,404
做得好

154
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,582
她還沒回覆,她為何還沒回覆?

155
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,667
是妳叫我說“嗨”

156
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,919
- “說聲‘嗨’”
- 才過一分鐘,耐心等一下

157
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,509
- 是她
- 怎麼樣?

158
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,011
好,她也說了“嗨”

159
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,348
- 就這樣,還有“今天過得好嗎?”
- 這就對了

160
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,975
這是個好開始,對吧?

161
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,727
好,現在跟她說你今天做的事

162
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,399
- 我不想說
- 為什麼?你今天做了什麼?

163
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,109
我也不想告訴妳,妳會覺得我很怪

164
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,194
- 丹尼,我本來就覺得你很怪
- 好吧

165
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:25,988
所以呢?

166
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:26,905
這個嘛...

167
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,206
我用萬用黏土做了一個

168
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,250
- 麥可法斯賓達的半身像
- 什麼?

169
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,296
他在《X戰警》的樣子

170
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,298
你為什麼要做那個?

171
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,843
我突然有藝術靈感
而且我有太多萬用黏土了

172
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:50,679
你是對的,千萬別告訴她那件事

173
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,972
那我該怎麼做?

174
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,808
做你自己就好

175
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,810
好,對,有道理

176
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,605
做你大部分的自己
去掉那些怪異的小地方

177
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,441
瞭解,好...這我做得到

178
00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:05,027
- 你在說我嗎?
- 白西裝、長褲...對

179
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,528
(維仔:那個影片怎麼樣?)

180
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:07,613
丹尼,我等等打給你

181
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,907
不行,拜託,別掛斷,我該跟她說什麼?

182
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:10,991
我再打給你,我...

183
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,451
妳該當我女朋友

184
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:18,457
- 妳剛才噓別人了嗎?
- 對,我噓別人了

185
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,834
我這輩子好像沒噓過人,我的腿在抖

186
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,212
我也沒噓過人,我希望自己敢那麼做

187
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:24,296
我有點嫉妒

188
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,008
- 丹尼,我真的得掛了
- 不,別掛

189
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,551
- 不,等等,別...
- 晚點聯絡,加油

190
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,011
不,麗莎,拜託...我...

191
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,854
就顏色而言,它出了紅色

192
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:46,610
黑色、銀色、綠色和萊姆綠

193
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,905
沒有出紫色,這點很可惜

194
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,008
傳吧

195
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,763
“還不錯,謝謝”

196
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,686
“妳呢?”

197
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,837
(公車靠站)

198
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,214
(午夜12點06分)

199
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:59,516
建議零售價比我們預期中的還高

200
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,895
但因為下面多了這個膠帶刀片

201
00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:06,732
還附上一個備用的替換刀片

202
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,650
各位就知道...

203
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,527
{\an8}(我非常滿意,但還是想在睡前)

204
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,945
(聽聽妳的意見)

205
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,367
(我很喜歡
絕對是你至今最棒的作品,親親)

206
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,464
- 抱歉,妳有看到一個袋子嗎?
- 我上車時沒看到

207
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,233
抱歉,借過,抱歉

208
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,240
嗨

209
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,700
- 嗨,妳好嗎?
- 我很好...

210
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,203
- 那是我的洋裝嗎?
- 哪件洋裝?

211
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,038
你身上穿的洋裝

212
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,040
- 這件洋裝?
- 對

213
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,835
應該不是吧,我很確定這是我的洋裝

214
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:12,589
好,我換個說法吧,那是我的洋裝

215
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,801
好,但我很確定這是我的洋裝
真奇怪,對吧?

216
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,720
對,但你我都很清楚那不是吧?

217
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:19,972
那我怎麼會穿著它?

218
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,142
好,你也玩夠了

219
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,894
現在該把洋裝還我...

220
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:32,150
好...我明白這是怎麼回事了,我很抱歉...

221
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:37,447
你們不能...

222
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,119
好吧

223
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,501
- 你絕對不相信...
- 她想見面

224
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,879
- 什麼?
- 艾美,她想在現實中見面

225
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:53,922
對

226
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:56,258
不知道耶

227
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:58,260
也許這是讓你走出戶外的動力

228
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,470
但我不想走出戶外,所以我才待在家

229
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,097
也許你可以邀她去拜訪你

230
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:04,433
- 什麼?那她不是會進我家嗎?
- 是啊

231
00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,895
不,那樣不好,萬一...進展順利呢?

232
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,229
- 萬一她想上床呢?
- 我說

233
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,856
你連這個都要我教嗎?

234
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,482
- 當然不用,只是...
- 那就好

235
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,818
如果我記得沒錯的話,那種時候...

236
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,153
- 是
- 妳知道的

237
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,238
- 怎樣?
- 得脫衣服

238
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,408
不...我其實...會穿更多衣服

239
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,951
只是...聽好

240
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,204
別告訴任何人這件事

241
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:27,080
- 我今天早上洗澡時...
- 怎樣?

242
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:28,916
在洗私密部位時...

243
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,167
好

244
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,629
- 我發現一個腫塊
- 腫塊?

245
00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,339
- 我覺得可能是癌症
- 丹尼...

246
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,841
- 其實我很確定是癌症
- 不,那不是癌症,什麼?

247
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:38,926
- 妳能看看嗎?
- 什麼?

248
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,678
不是妳想的那樣,我...用手機拍了照片

249
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,597
- 如果妳可以看一下...
- 我才不要

250
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,806
去看醫生

251
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,850
不,我看過了,算是吧

252
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,728
我以前會傳很多照片給醫生
這樣就不用去診所

253
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,438
- 是
- 這幾年來

254
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,608
我可能傳了很多,她最後封鎖我了

255
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,401
幸好,我鄰居亞當說要幫我

256
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,903
請進

257
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,781
請坐,亞當

258
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:02,783
謝謝

259
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,411
好,你的問題是什麼?

260
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:08,622
稍等一下

261
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,041
嗨,醫生,聽我說

262
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,043
不知道為什麼,我嚐不到鳳梨味了

263
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,212
一開始我以為是鳳梨壞掉,但最近

264
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,172
我又吃了鳳梨,卻還是嚐不出味道

265
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,298
好

266
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,343
我再說最後一次,好嗎?

267
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:25,013
如果你有任何聽不懂的部分,請告訴我

268
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,850
- 好
- 滾開

269
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,478
滾開

270
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:38,068
- 她把你趕走?
- 嚴格來說,她是把亞當趕走

271
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:41,071
我就傳那張照片給妳,拜託妳看一下

272
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,865
然後告訴我是否有問題

273
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,158
- 好...我幫你看
- 是嗎?真的嗎?

274
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,077
- 對
- 謝謝妳

275
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,622
- 好,傳過去了,妳還好嗎?
- 不,我不好

276
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,958
- 有人偷了我的洋裝
- 我以為偷洋裝的是妳

277
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:56,420
不,我是說在這裡,現在
他在我面前穿著它

278
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,504
讓我看一下

279
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,508
看到了,他穿起來真好看

280
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,386
丹尼,我需要你的幫忙

281
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,597
- 好,妳問過他了嗎?
- 我當然問過了

282
00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:08,515
- 然後呢?
- 他噓我

283
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,520
被噓的人反過來噓別人,很常見

284
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,105
天啊,你完全沒幫上忙

285
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,065
好,我有辦法了,妳可以開始哭

286
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,734
不,我不想把事情鬧大

287
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:20,944
麗莎,他才是把事情鬧大的人

288
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:23,363
妳得揪出他,公開他的犯行

289
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,240
並把整件慘事錄成廣播節目

290
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,450
- 什麼?
- 我的意思是

291
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,243
妳得讓全公車的人支持妳

292
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,786
人們很愛為這種事氣憤

293
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,539
你說得對...我絕對要這麼做

294
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,999
妳會的,妳的表情說明一切

295
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,459
我要這麼做,我要把事情鬧大

296
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:36,585
- 妳會的
- 我要行動了

297
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,378
妳會...她不見了

298
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,130
哈囉,嗨,各位

299
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:45,010
抱歉,我只是想告訴大家
這台公車上有小偷

300
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,804
這個人偷了我的洋裝

301
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,599
看到了嗎?
我就是想要那種洋裝當生日禮物

302
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:53,435
那妳幹嘛說要香水?我又不會讀心術

303
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:57,523
聽我說,抱歉,我知道現在很晚了
大家只想趕快回家

304
00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,316
但我會很感激你們的幫忙

305
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,859
一定有人看到了什麼

306
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,863
- 有人看到嗎?
- 抱歉,我無意干涉...

307
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:07,157
沒關係,請說,請儘管干涉

308
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,826
如果那不是他的洋裝
那他原本的衣服呢?

309
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,870
那顯然會是在...

310
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,290
嘿

311
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,210
別藏了,那顯然...

312
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,630
- 妳在幹嘛?
- 其實呢

313
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,258
妳確實在干涉我
如果妳可以別插手,那就太好了

314
00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:25,843
謝謝

315
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:28,720
別擔心,親愛的,我相信妳

316
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:30,389
謝謝

317
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,432
男人穿洋裝,在我看來真噁心

318
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,142
不,別這樣

319
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,144
好,別聽他說的話

320
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,771
他...我不是...我們不是...

321
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,065
我們不是同一陣線的

322
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,279
當然,我相信任何人都應該有權利

323
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,738
- 穿想穿的衣服
- 太好了,謝謝

324
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:49,908
對,只是在這個情況中,那是我的洋裝

325
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:54,204
我家的水電工會擦口紅
我還是會請他吃水果蛋糕

326
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:58,667
不,那不是...

327
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,586
不

328
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,007
嗨,結果如何?

329
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:08,468
不太好,我讓車上大部分的人都不支持我

330
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,053
但妳應該讓他們不支持他

331
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,763
- 我知道,真是謝了,丹尼
- 沒事的

332
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,265
好嗎?我們會想到辦法

333
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,147
在想的同時
妳能幫我確認我沒有癌症嗎?

334
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,899
我說過了,我不認為你有癌症

335
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:24,109
對,但是妳覺得那是什麼?

336
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,903
不知道,照片還沒傳過來

337
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,448
什麼意思?我老早就傳給妳了,妳應該...

338
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,076
- 怎麼了?
- 不

339
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,996
- 丹尼,怎麼了?
- 不,天啊

340
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,040
艾美,我把照片傳給艾美了

341
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,416
別笑

342
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,793
- 妳笑什麼?
- 好啦,沒事的

343
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,670
這不叫沒事,怎麼可能沒事?

344
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:44,755
這很大膽

345
00:16:44,755 --> 00:16:46,006
就像是在說

346
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,841
- “這樣吧,我們別閒聊了”
- 對

347
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,384
- “直接進入主題”
- 進入主題

348
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,595
“妳喜歡我的身體嗎?
妳認為我有癌症嗎?

349
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,347
如果妳喜歡,而且認為我沒癌症

350
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,682
- 那我們就在一起吧”
- 在一起

351
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,768
聽好,往好處想

352
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,479
如果她回覆你
那代表她是值得交往的對象

353
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:03,190
不,麗莎,如果她回覆我,那代表她瘋了

354
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:06,318
也對,那你們又多一個共通點了

355
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,486
(午夜12點23分)

356
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,240
(午夜12點24分)

357
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,369
{\an8}(你想出來見個面嗎?)

358
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,704
你這白痴

359
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,100
你永遠只能這樣了,對吧?

360
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,187
待在這間公寓裡

361
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,156
來吧

362
00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:05,043
好,這沒有那麼糟

363
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,006
天啊

364
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,473
嘿,妳知道怎麼請一隻鴿子

365
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,475
- 離開妳家嗎?
- 什麼?

366
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:23,437
算了

367
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:26,356
- 妳還好嗎?
- 不太好

368
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,691
艾美回覆你了嗎?

369
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,359
真奇怪,她還沒回覆

370
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,278
- 這裡
- 不,抱歉

371
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,529
妳拿回洋裝了嗎?

372
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:33,822
不,沒有

373
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,616
一定有辦法能讓妳拿回來

374
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,367
沒有,我沒想法

375
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,746
我只希望艾瑪阿姨在這裡
她會知道怎麼處理這情況

376
00:18:41,914 --> 00:18:45,083
從妳跟我說的事看來

377
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,461
她會直接從他身上扯下洋裝,對吧?

378
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,422
放開

379
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,178
永遠別讓混蛋贏,麗莎

380
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,564
當然了

381
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,859
- 天啊,就是這個
- 什麼?

382
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:13,820
好,跟我一起去

383
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:15,447
我們要去哪裡?

384
00:19:46,979 --> 00:19:48,230
可以借過嗎?我的站到了

385
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,858
我只是想讓你知道,你是很糟糕的人

386
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,442
而且是你逼我這麼做的

387
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:56,029
我要告訴現場的各位
還有之後在網路上看影片的人

388
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,408
接下來發生的事都是這個人引起的

389
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:02,619
對,去你的,抱歉,我不知道你的名字

390
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:04,329
我叫泰勒

391
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,831
謝謝,去你的,泰勒

392
00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:07,624
對,去你的,泰勒

393
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,669
能請妳對著我拍嗎?它正在錄影

394
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,796
- 什麼?
- 丹尼會解釋

395
00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:15,465
- 怎麼回事?
- 我不知道

396
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,718
我們就照她的吩咐做吧

397
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:21,430
準備好了嗎?

398
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:23,891
不

399
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:34,651
好

400
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,088
我會繼續脫

401
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,301
他不太自在

402
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,272
好啦

403
00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:15,859
- 你在幹嘛?
- 搞成這樣不值得

404
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,864
外面很冷,如果妳要發瘋的話

405
00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:23,033
就收下這個吧

406
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:26,411
非常感謝你

407
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:27,996
反正我還有多的衣服

408
00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:31,333
我就覺得你有

409
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,400
滾開

410
00:21:59,945 --> 00:22:01,071
真是的

411
00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:10,622
再見

412
00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:12,958
- 祝你們下次好運
- 隨便啦

413
00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:14,793
天啊,你剛才看到我了嗎?

414
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,589
那是我做過最酷的事

415
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:20,340
對,很厲害

416
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:24,094
- 該死,這不是我的站
- 怎麼了?

417
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:27,931
那是什麼聲音?

418
00:22:30,142 --> 00:22:31,435
相信我,妳不會想知道

419
00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:36,023
請再說一次,這怎麼不算擅闖民宅?

420
00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:38,400
因為我用鑰匙開門

421
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,528
你可以別緊張嗎?
我進去一下,很快就出來

422
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:44,740
然後我得回去找我的鞋子
免得有人拿到網站上拍賣

423
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:46,700
聽著,我搞定之後再打給你

424
00:23:11,475 --> 00:23:12,935
別開玩笑了

425
00:23:17,356 --> 00:23:19,316
- 我有一件超棒的消息
- 說吧

426
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:20,400
那只是內生毛髮

427
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,110
- 什麼?
- 艾美回覆我了

428
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:23,695
不會吧,真的嗎?

429
00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:25,489
相信我,沒人比我更驚訝

430
00:23:25,489 --> 00:23:26,990
好,她說了什麼?

431
00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:29,743
她只說那是一個
漂亮、不會致命的內生毛髮

432
00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:31,245
我不會死,麗莎

433
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:33,747
那太好了,丹尼

434
00:23:34,498 --> 00:23:35,707
等等,妳穿了什麼?

435
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:39,461
艾瑪阿姨的物品大多都被收起來了

436
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:43,131
所以我現在穿得像1970年代的沙發

437
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:44,508
不,很好看,風格很大膽

438
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:46,134
隨便啦,好,我得掛斷了

439
00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,886
- 下次同一時間?
- 下次同一時間

440
00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:48,971
再見

441
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:52,474
哈囉,又見面了

442
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,276
安息吧,你這隻瘋鳥

443
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,531
(哈,那只是內生毛髮)

444
00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:24,590
一路順風,小傢伙

445
00:24:28,177 --> 00:24:30,762
{\an8}(嘿,謝謝妳幫我再次確認)

446
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:33,765
{\an8}(我很樂意跟妳見面,若妳還願意的話)

447
00:24:44,026 --> 00:24:45,277
別開玩笑了

448
00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:39,414
字幕翻譯:翁乙玄