1
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:16,725
You okay?
2
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,478
Yeah. Sorry, just depressurizing.
3
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,355
You know what I'm like
when I have to use the satnav.
4
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,272
Yeah.
5
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:25,067
Do you know how many insurance claims
due to satnav-related accidents
6
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,318
I see every year in my job?
7
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,030
Loads. Yeah, almost a quarter of the
country has had one.
8
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,158
Sorry, no work talk.
9
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,952
This break's all about family time.
10
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,788
I am really glad we're doing this.
Just the three of us.
11
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,791
Just the three of us?
12
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,087
It's just, when you said family time, I--
13
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:49,925
Over here! We made it!
14
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,426
- Hey!
- Hey.
15
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,471
You invited your parents.
16
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,973
Sorry. That's not a problem, is it?
17
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,642
No. No, don't be silly.
No, it's fine. No, it's lovely.
18
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,311
Great. Vedges!
19
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:04,480
Assemble!
20
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,486
- Yay!
- Yay!
21
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:13,240
- Here's the pop star.
- Here she is. Say hi.
22
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,950
- Hello.
- Hi, Lisa!
23
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:17,494
Is she okay? She looks a pit peaky.
24
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,683
Hey, Vedgers and Vedgettes.
25
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,810
Welcome back to my channel.
26
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,895
I am Mark Vedge.
27
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:46,481
Today I am joined by a very special guest.
28
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,566
No.
29
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,987
His name's Russell.
Legally he's my stepdad,
30
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:54,156
but to me, he's just Dad.
31
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,491
And he's absolutely barmy!
32
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,870
Hey, Veggie fans. How you diddling?
33
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,873
"Diddling." I didn't know he was
gonna say that. He's off his rocker.
34
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,750
- The pair of them.
- Yeah.
35
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,210
Like a couple of kids.
36
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:09,545
- They get on really well, don't they?
- Yeah. It's always been that way.
37
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,548
When he was at junior school,
38
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,926
Mark's teacher asked him
what he wanted to be when he grew up.
39
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,677
What do you think he said?
40
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,140
- Usain Bolt?
- A stepfather.
41
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,435
Did he? What, at nine years old?
42
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,645
I know.
43
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,775
Today, we are unboxing
the Coleman Meadowood...
44
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,277
- Yep.
- ...Air premier-- Could you give us a hand?
45
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,904
- Air premier tent.
- That is heavy.
46
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:38,784
Now, we will be erecting this guy later
and also reviewing the Sunshine--
47
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,202
Up a little bit, babes.
48
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:44,540
Sunshine 20-liter portable camping toilet.
49
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:48,168
And spoiler alert it is a beauty.
50
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,586
I cannot wait.
51
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:53,173
We hit the jackpot, didn't we? Fella-wise.
52
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,675
We're set to fire up, yeah?
53
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,802
We're so alike, me and you.
54
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:00,973
Are we?
55
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,435
The way he dotes on Poppy.
Like he's her real father.
56
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,979
Yeah, Poppy really loves him.
57
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,481
I mean, he is really, isn't he?
58
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,609
Isn't he?
59
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:13,944
Yeah. Yeah.
60
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,325
So lovely,
you and Mark inviting us along like this.
61
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,411
Yeah. 'Course.
62
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,080
When Mark was a boy,
we used to go camping in France.
63
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,833
Gorgeous little place.
64
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,835
Languedoc-Roussillon.
65
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,130
Poppy would love it.
66
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,300
You should suggest it. He'd be thrilled.
67
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,052
Yeah. Maybe next year.
68
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,347
Languedoc-Roussillon.
Yeah, go on. Try and say it.
69
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,354
- Languedo--
- Languedoc.
70
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:53,066
- Languedoc.
- No, no. Languedoc.
71
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,568
I'm sure he's gonna know
what I mean though,
72
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,111
- won't he?
- Oh, come on.
73
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,197
If something's worth doing,
it's worth doing right.
74
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:01,408
- We'll do it in stages, shall we? Yeah?
- Okay. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.
75
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,702
- Langue.
- Langue.
76
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,038
No, listen. Langue.
77
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,539
- Langue.
- That's it.
78
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,541
Now then. Ngue.
79
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:10,709
Ngue.
80
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:14,046
- Ngue.
- Ngue.
81
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,964
Listen, listen. Ngue. Ngue.
82
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,591
- Ngue. Ngue.
- Ngue. Yes. Good.
83
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,928
Now, doc. Doc.
84
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:24,681
- Doc.
- See? I knew you had it in you.
85
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,892
- Right, now then. Roussillon. Yeah.
- Do you know what?
86
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,436
I'm just gonna take this
'cause I need to go for a wee.
87
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,230
Nice one, babes.
We need someone to use that
88
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,148
- so I can review it for my next video.
- No, babe.
89
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:35,400
Come on. Just need a little bit of info.
Is it comfortable?
90
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,528
- No, baby, stop it. No!
- Does it fill up too quick,
91
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,404
- start touching your-- You know?
- Disgusting. No, Veggie.
92
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,114
Good pumping.
93
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:55,963
Who am I?
94
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,840
Oh, my God.
Were you actually asleep?
95
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,510
I wasn't sure if you'd answer.
96
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:05,013
I thought you might still be
a little bit angry with me.
97
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,098
Angry about what?
98
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,059
Well, that I didn't, you know,
tell you about the Chloe thing.
99
00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:12,271
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
100
00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:15,440
I am sorry though.
101
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,942
Yeah, I know. I know you are.
102
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:18,777
What time is it?
103
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:20,237
It's just gone 9:00.
104
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,655
- At night?
- Yeah.
105
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,449
- That's good. That means he's gone.
- Who's gone?
106
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,910
Builder. Landlord's finally
having the bathroom retiled.
107
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,956
So, I've had some guy around here called
Rick, Ralph, Ron something like that.
108
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,126
He turned up at 7:00 this morning.
It was horrible.
109
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,295
You know I can't communicate
with actual men,
110
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,589
especially ones
that know how to use tools.
111
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,257
Watch the match last night?
112
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,428
Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, I wouldn't--
Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.
113
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:47,514
Yeah. Arsenal played great, didn't they?
114
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,559
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
115
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,019
They're a lovely bunch of boys.
116
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,105
I felt bad for Salah.
117
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,025
- I know, right?
- I mean, you know, it was never offside.
118
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,484
Offside? No.
119
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,279
Yeah, he didn't touch the sides.
Didn't get anywhere near them.
120
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,783
- You didn't watch the match, did you?
- No, I didn't. I'm sorry.
121
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,827
Contact sport, it scares me, so...
122
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,664
I just--
123
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,374
So, I did the only logical thing.
124
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,376
I downed a bottle of cough syrup
125
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,920
and knocked myself out
until he'd gone home.
126
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,174
Well, that's a bit of
a waste of a day, isn't it?
127
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,469
That's fair. Talking about
a waste of a day, how's camping going?
128
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,430
I am having a great time.
129
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,141
How was that? Any way believable?
130
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,684
Not remotely, no.
131
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,270
If you don't like camping,
why'd you agree to go?
132
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,730
'Cause Veggie's into it.
133
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,732
I just thought it would be nice,
the three of us.
134
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,400
Then Veggie invited his mum and dad.
135
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,444
What's Veggie's mum and dad like?
136
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,613
Stepdad's nice. Interesting.
137
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,323
Yeah? And mum?
138
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,033
Christine is lovely.
139
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,077
She is full of positivity.
140
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,871
She's just actually
a really, really nice person,
141
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,456
and I bloody hate her guts.
142
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,584
Does that make me a bad person?
143
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,379
Look, I've told you before,
you're pure scum. People know this.
144
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:02,798
- What was that?
- What was what?
145
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,096
Sounds like feet.
146
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,685
- Oh, my God. It's like in that film.
- That doesn't narrow it down.
147
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,772
Hello? Hello? Is somebody there?
148
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,194
- What is it?
- Dunno, I can't see anything.
149
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,114
- Oh, my God!
- What?
150
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,408
Oh, my God, there's a big bunch of cows.
151
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,704
Cows?
152
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,915
Do cows attack?
153
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,000
No, of course not.
154
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,003
Actually, I don't know.
Hang on, bear with me. Let me check.
155
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:44,339
"Do cows attack?" Okay.
156
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,717
Yeah, they do attack.
And they do-- And they kill.
157
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:47,801
What?
158
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,431
Danny? Danny!
159
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,309
Danny!
160
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,603
- I'm gonna have to call you back.
- No, no, you can't go!
161
00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,229
No, Danny, this is actually terrify--
162
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:02,858
Hello.
163
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:25,672
Once upon a time
I was falling in love
164
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:29,051
Now I'm only falling apart
165
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:36,099
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
166
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,352
- Hello?
- All right, mate?
167
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,604
You still here then?
168
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:43,273
Yeah, I thought I'd keep going, you know?
169
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:47,444
Try and get it all done in one go if--
Unless, like, that's a problem.
170
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,695
Well, actually, I just--
171
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,572
Yeah, no, lovely tiles.
172
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,866
I got the same ones in my bathroom.
173
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:54,993
Me other half picked 'em.
174
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:58,288
Always has great taste.
175
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,918
Anyway, I shouldn't be much longer.
176
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,586
Good.
177
00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:12,135
Would you like a cup of tea?
178
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,929
Yeah. Lovely, thank you.
179
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,936
Hi, Mr. Cow.
180
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,104
Leese?
181
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,732
- You okay?
- Fine.
182
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,942
So, who you avoiding?
183
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:29,278
No one, you loon. I just wanted a moment.
184
00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:30,362
With the cows?
185
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:31,989
Yeah.
186
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,033
Yeah, the cows just turned up.
187
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,370
Much like everyone else this weekend.
188
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:42,666
Oh, Leese, I'm sorry. I didn't even think.
189
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,626
It's not a problem,
them being here, is it?
190
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,545
I can't really ask them to leave.
191
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,297
No, course it's not a problem.
192
00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,090
I love Russell.
193
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,592
And Christine.
194
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:55,470
I just thought we were gonna
have some quality time together.
195
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:59,183
We still can. How about I book a table
at that nice pub we passed earlier?
196
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:00,851
For tomorrow night. Just the three of us.
197
00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:01,977
- Really?
- Yeah, course.
198
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,645
Mum and Dad won't mind
sitting at another table.
199
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,940
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Sounds like a plan.
200
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,483
Great. Should we head back?
201
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:11,028
Yeah, let's head back. Yeah.
202
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,490
You know, I have to say,
203
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:19,328
seeing you in this anorak,
carrying a portable toilet...
204
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:22,706
- Shut up.
- ...you have never looked sexier.
205
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:23,624
Fuck!
206
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,714
Oh, dear. You hurt your leg?
207
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,550
Yeah, ankle. Sprained it.
208
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,428
- Sprained? That ankle there?
- Yeah.
209
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,597
- No, you haven't.
- What?
210
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:41,016
Trust a trained physiotherapist.
211
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,685
Pulled? Could be. Bruised? Maybe.
212
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:47,231
Sprained? No.
You'd know if you'd sprained your ankle.
213
00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:50,442
Well, I know. I've sprained my ankle.
214
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:51,860
No, you'd know.
215
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:55,614
Yeah. And I know I've sprained it.
216
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:58,116
No, I mean, you'd know.
217
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:01,787
- And I know I have.
- Okay.
218
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,831
- But you'd know.
- How about we turn in?
219
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,334
- Yep?
- Yeah. Okay.
220
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,502
Night, Mum.
221
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,444
Those cows could've killed me.
222
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,737
He's still here.
223
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,947
What? Who's still there?
224
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,700
Rick. Or Ralph.
Or whatever his name is. The builder.
225
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,743
- He's still there?
- Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?
226
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,161
Danny, that is so weird.
227
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,497
What do I do? I can't drink
another bottle of cough syrup.
228
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,665
I've run out.
229
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:50,002
- Well, what was that?
- I don't know. I'll call you back.
230
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,465
Hello.
231
00:11:56,758 --> 00:12:00,345
I'm sorry.
It just slipped out of me hand.
232
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,055
Well, it's fine. It's just a tile.
233
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,435
No, it's not just a tile.
It's more than that!
234
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,230
I'm sorry.
I don't know where that came from.
235
00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:15,027
Yeah,
so I've done most of the grouting now.
236
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:18,530
And it's just drying, so--
237
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,867
No, I said I wouldn't do this.
238
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,077
I'm not gonna do this.
239
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:28,081
Yeah. Please don't do this.
Don't cry, builder.
240
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,416
I'm sorry. It's just,
241
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,669
me and my husband, Chris,
we've had a terrible row.
242
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:37,049
He wants me to fit into his little mold.
243
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,427
But I won't do it. I won't do it, Danny.
244
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:41,970
Yeah, don't.
245
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:46,141
So I like the football.
Does that make me unsophisticated?
246
00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:50,437
- No. No, exactly.
- No. No.
247
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:52,981
I mean, I like the opera
as much as the next man.
248
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,359
All I said was
the tickets were a bit pricey.
249
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,152
Does that make me a Philistine?
250
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,571
- No, it doesn't!
- No. No, it doesn't.
251
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,199
And if you're gonna get
a set of patio chairs,
252
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:03,867
why do they have to be wicker?
253
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:07,746
Plastic's not gonna rot, is it?
254
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,916
- No, it's not.
- No, it's not.
255
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,044
He called me a cultural caveman.
256
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:16,839
Can you believe that?
257
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,424
I can't believe anything that's happening
right now, to be honest.
258
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,218
Well, I'm not going home to him tonight.
259
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,930
Not after the cruel things he said to me.
260
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:33,230
He's staying the night?
261
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,232
Yeah, well, I couldn't let him kip
in the van, could I?
262
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,609
- Well, where is he now?
- He's having a little nap.
263
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,613
I think all the tiling and
the crying have taken it out of him.
264
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,034
- I'll call you back.
- Okay.
265
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,327
Can't sleep?
266
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,665
- Me neither.
- Yeah. Just came out for some fresh air.
267
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,251
How's the ankle?
268
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,337
Still sprained.
269
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,006
Okay.
270
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,468
Room for a small one?
271
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,850
Just gonna go and drain the weasel.
272
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:14,813
Isn't love amazing?
273
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:19,359
Do you know, I haven't spent one day
away from that man since the day we met.
274
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,862
He even held my hand
throughout my hysterectomy.
275
00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,448
As soon as I'd joined
the same firm as him,
276
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,158
I thought, "Yes, please."
277
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:31,747
Went home, wrote on a piece of paper,
"I will marry Russell."
278
00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:32,873
Stuck it on the wall.
279
00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:36,376
See, when you put what you want
out into the universe,
280
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,712
the universe answers.
281
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,548
That's a lovely way to think.
282
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,719
And you'd think after all these years
of marriage, the S-E-X would suffer.
283
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:46,803
Oh, God.
284
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,598
- No?
- No.
285
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,477
- No.
- No?
286
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,063
No, it's liberating.
287
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,147
When you trust someone,
288
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,024
you can experiment.
289
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,610
You can go full taboo.
290
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,572
Where's Russell got to?
291
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,700
- Party going on without me?
- Please join. Hiya.
292
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,328
Russell's weasel has been drained.
293
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:15,290
Look at all of us
burning the midnight oil.
294
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:17,501
You know what we should do?
295
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,878
- We should play...
- Oh, no.
296
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,089
Veggie-Veggie-Bing-Bong!
297
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,924
- Yes!
- Yeah?
298
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:27,261
- Yeah.
- Yes! Come on!
299
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,513
What's a Veggie-Veggie-Bing-Bong?
300
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,723
It's the family game they invented.
301
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,892
- And what are the rules?
- I don't know.
302
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,019
They've explained them to me,
like, a million times,
303
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,729
and they just do not make sense.
304
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,814
Explain them to me.
305
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:41,441
Okay. Here's what I can work out.
306
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,277
Eat the ham!
307
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:44,695
There's ham involved.
308
00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:46,113
That's all you've got? Ham?
309
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:49,449
Yeah. They throw ham.
I don't know why. They just do.
310
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,742
Well, there must be a reason.
311
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:52,703
Rich?
312
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:53,620
Who's that?
313
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,206
Rich, it's Chris. I just wanna talk.
314
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:59,042
- Oi, wait, what's going on?
- Rich, please.
315
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:02,796
- Rich, who?
- Good one.
316
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,047
Rich, I know you're in there.
317
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:05,966
How'd you know he's in here?
318
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,551
Yeah, how'd you know I'm in here?
319
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:11,013
I pinged the GPS on your phone,
and your van's parked outside.
320
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,389
Also, you just spoke.
321
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:15,017
This is ridiculous. Just let me in.
322
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,102
What do I do?
323
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,441
- What does he do?
- He talks to him.
324
00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:24,234
He's in pain. Can't you hear?
325
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,445
This pain. You need to get--
326
00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:28,113
You guys need to talk and stuff.
327
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:32,659
Just give me a moment!
I'm gonna put some clothes on.
328
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:37,080
Danny, I've gotta go.
They're setting up this bloody game.
329
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,084
Oh, yeah. Leave me in the middle of
some kind of Love Island therapy session.
330
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,505
- Hi.
- Hi.
331
00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:45,506
Danny.
332
00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,216
Right, so you're hiding from me now?
333
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:49,885
Perhaps you guys wanna be left
in private? Yeah.
334
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:51,094
I don't want to hear it.
335
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,265
Veg.
336
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,017
You have to help me win this game.
337
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,394
We can form an alliance.
We can help each other.
338
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,481
Lisa, that's cheating.
You know I can't do that.
339
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:03,815
It goes against every clause
340
00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,901
- of the Vedge Family code.
- Veggie.
341
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,778
Sorry.
342
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:09,905
At least don't throw the ham so hard
this time.
343
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:10,989
I'll try.
344
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,076
Listen to this.
345
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,953
- The Marriage of Figaro, I went to.
- Yes.
346
00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:17,412
- The Magic Flute.
- Yes.
347
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:18,829
Did I enjoy them? No.
348
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,333
Every time I think they're
winding down, they end up getting louder.
349
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:24,377
- Anyway, how's your game going?
- It hasn't started yet.
350
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,047
Danny, I hate this game. I always lose.
351
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:31,927
Maybe you can help me.
352
00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,555
- Wait. How?
- Yeah, that's it.
353
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:36,807
Veggie-Veggie-Bing-Bong.
You're gonna help me win it.
354
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:39,226
I don't know if I can, Leese.
I got a couple of fellas in love in here.
355
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,435
Please, please, Danny.
356
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:43,230
Christine always beats me.
I just have to beat her, just once.
357
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,314
Please help me.
358
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,860
Okay, fine. But after this,
I'm through with helping people, okay?
359
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:49,820
Okay. Stay on the line.
Stay on the line. Okay.
360
00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:54,116
You all right? Need a hand setting up?
361
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,828
Okay. T. rex arms in.
362
00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,288
Raptor eggs greased.
363
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:01,999
Dino mountain constructed.
364
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:06,920
All right, come on, Vedges. Let's go!
Here we go!
365
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,173
Hey, lift me up a bit.
366
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,801
- Is that better?
- Yeah, that's great.
367
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,595
Ready? Steady?
368
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:18,390
- Go. Dinosaur Dump Trucks!
- Yeah!
369
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,684
Go, go, go.
370
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:21,977
Go on, you can do it.
371
00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:25,856
- Yeah!
- Veggie-Veggie!
372
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:26,940
Bing-bong!
373
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,902
God, it's like the SEAL footage
of them capturing Osama Bin Laden.
374
00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:31,236
Here she comes!
375
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,821
Only, you know, a lot more different.
376
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,574
What kind of melon is that?
377
00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:37,993
- Honeydew.
- What's it covered in?
378
00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:39,161
I don't know.
379
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,579
It's salad cream, I think.
380
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:41,997
You can do it!
381
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,666
They must've brought that on the chance
they'd play Dinosaur Dump Trucks.
382
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:47,419
- Yeah! Bing-bong!
- Yes. Go.
383
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:48,837
Yes. You got it.
384
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:53,884
That's a shame, innit?
385
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:56,470
Eat the ham. Eat the ham.
386
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:59,973
- Yeah. Eat the ham. Eat the ham.
- Yeah!
387
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,726
And she did so well on her bruised ankle.
388
00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:04,144
It's sprained.
389
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,146
Right, quiz time.
390
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,525
I gotta say, this game is pretty good.
391
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,113
Right, so, who directed Avatar?
392
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:18,116
I know this one. James Cameron.
393
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,369
- No, it was the Berlin Wall.
- What?
394
00:19:20,369 --> 00:19:23,497
- Wrong answer!
- Sorry.
395
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,332
How?
396
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:28,293
Well, from what I can see,
Russell has his thumb on his eyebrow
397
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,586
and two fingers in his pocket.
398
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,297
That means
it's the "three questions ago" rule.
399
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:35,008
Three questions ago,
the answer was the Berlin Wall.
400
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:37,261
Eat the ham!
401
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:41,765
I'm gonna eat the whole pig tonight.
402
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:46,061
Look, I know Christine is in the lead,
but I don't know how.
403
00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:47,729
Because she was the Bobbywallet
the last round.
404
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,356
Rounds? Wha-- The--
405
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,108
- There are rounds?
- Yeah, there's 17 rounds.
406
00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:52,109
It's a bloody good game.
407
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,986
What do you mean, 17? How do you know?
408
00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:56,238
Are you okay? Hiya, Danny.
409
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,531
Hey, Veg.
410
00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:58,866
I'll see you later.
411
00:19:58,866 --> 00:20:00,868
I can ask them to stop throwing ham,
if you like.
412
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:03,787
- I could say you've gone vegetarian.
- What, in the last five minutes?
413
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:04,705
Fair point.
414
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:08,000
I could always take your ham for you.
Yeah? Let me be your ham proxy.
415
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,210
- My ham proxy?
- Yeah, yeah. I don't mind.
416
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,962
Extra protein, innit?
417
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:14,298
Thanks, Veg.
418
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:19,303
No, don't. No, don't tickle.
419
00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:23,765
- Veggie!
- All right then, Vedges, halftime is up.
420
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,267
Game on!
421
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:30,439
I appreciate you
and who you are in this moment
422
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:32,983
and all our moments moving forwards.
423
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:34,985
- Come here.
- Stop it.
424
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,583
- There he is. Our little savior.
- Yeah.
425
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,752
No. So-- I'm just--
I'm glad you guys made up.
426
00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:53,587
- Yeah. I can't even remember...
- Yeah.
427
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:55,005
...what we were fighting about.
428
00:20:55,506 --> 00:20:58,550
I'm gonna get him a season ticket,
so he can come to the football with me.
429
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:01,386
- Ain't I?
- Yeah. TBD.
430
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:04,640
- Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. TBD.
- TBD.
431
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:08,101
We were gonna have a little drink,
you know?
432
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,811
- It's been a hell of a day.
- Oh, my God.
433
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,480
Okay, great.
434
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:16,610
Do you have any amaretto?
435
00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:23,367
Now, Lisa, tell me,
who ate the pear in the witch's garden?
436
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,330
- I don't know.
- No, you do.
437
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,290
- It's obviously Christine.
- I thought it was Veggie.
438
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,292
No, he was the Onion Baby.
439
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,211
Oh, my Gods, why am I lying?
440
00:21:34,211 --> 00:21:36,672
Yeah. It's Christine. Say Christine.
441
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,132
Christine?
442
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,759
- Correct!
- Correct!
443
00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:43,929
Wow! Nice one.
444
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:45,097
Right.
445
00:21:45,097 --> 00:21:49,268
Christine and Lisa are tied
in first place.
446
00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:51,562
So we have a tiebreaker.
447
00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:52,771
Here we go.
448
00:21:55,315 --> 00:22:01,071
To win, who won the Second World War?
449
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,531
- Kings of Leon!
- Did they?
450
00:22:02,531 --> 00:22:05,284
Well, I don't know, but they did release
some bloody good albums.
451
00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:07,452
- That's true.
- Wait look. Look at Russell.
452
00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:09,830
It's the "three question ago" answer rule.
She's won.
453
00:22:09,830 --> 00:22:11,039
Correct!
454
00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:14,376
Yay!
455
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,837
- You did it. You're brilliant.
- She did it.
456
00:22:16,837 --> 00:22:18,005
And you didn't need any help.
457
00:22:19,381 --> 00:22:20,215
Thanks, Veggie.
458
00:22:23,427 --> 00:22:25,762
So good! Yes!
459
00:22:29,141 --> 00:22:31,310
- Oh, my God. Well done!
- She did it.
460
00:22:31,310 --> 00:22:34,479
- Yeah. Well done, you.
- Good for you! Yeah!
461
00:22:39,568 --> 00:22:43,030
Who's the lord in the bin?
Who's the lord in the bin?
462
00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:46,074
All right, this bit makes no sense.
I thought the game was over.
463
00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:48,785
- Closing ceremony.
- Of course it is.
464
00:22:55,501 --> 00:22:56,502
We're leaving.
465
00:22:57,753 --> 00:23:00,964
I don't think you get
how big a deal this is for me, Danny.
466
00:23:00,964 --> 00:23:02,591
This is gonna go on my CV.
467
00:23:02,591 --> 00:23:03,967
You do remember you cheated?
468
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:05,552
Yeah, but not for the last question.
469
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:08,347
I suppose not. Well done on spotting
the "three questions ago" rule.
470
00:23:08,347 --> 00:23:11,642
- That's good.
- See? I do listen to you sometimes.
471
00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:13,644
I won!
472
00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:18,273
- I won. I won. I won. I won.
- You won. You won.
473
00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:24,696
- Look, I should probably let you go.
- Okay. Night night.
474
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:25,781
Night, champ.
475
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:29,034
Bye.
476
00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:34,581
- What a win.
- Thanks.
477
00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:39,211
I hope you're gonna pass the game
down to Poppy.
478
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:42,005
And yours and Marky's kids,
479
00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:43,590
when the time comes.
480
00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:47,386
Which looks like it's gonna be
sooner rather than later.
481
00:23:49,805 --> 00:23:51,014
What?
482
00:23:51,723 --> 00:23:54,351
I mean, any day now.
483
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:56,520
Any day now, what?
484
00:23:57,271 --> 00:23:58,313
Till it happens.
485
00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:00,148
Till what happens?
486
00:24:01,692 --> 00:24:03,819
Till someone proposes.
487
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:08,615
What are my two favorite girls
talking about then?
488
00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:10,325
Nothing.
489
00:24:10,993 --> 00:24:13,495
Right, then.
I'll see you both in the morning.
490
00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,955
- Okay.
- Night.
491
00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:16,039
Night.
492
00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:20,169
I think I'm gonna turn in. You?
493
00:24:20,169 --> 00:24:22,087
Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a sec.
494
00:24:23,255 --> 00:24:26,133
Great. Okay.
495
00:24:39,855 --> 00:24:42,524
Good. Your ankle's better.
496
00:24:43,901 --> 00:24:45,235
Yeah.